Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Exposing our Body Counts with Alex Cooper

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

Production, is this mic on? Today Hallie is joined by THE hydrated Father Cooper on this hungover morning to debrief their wild weekend in NYC. They recap the Unwell Hydration event, all of the NYC hot spots they conquered, how Alex got an emergency makeover, Graydon's stint in jail, Hallie being put to bed by Alex and Matt over the summer, road head, Graydon's notorious ski mask daddy, the naughty f*ck list on your phone, and TikTok's insane 'grooming' allegations. Enjoy cookies!!!Follow @extradirty on socials, leave a review, a 5-star rating, and follow the show wherever you get your podcasts. Love you, muah muah!

You were actually drinking last night. I was so having the- I was literally having the most fun of my life last night. Have you not learned anything about podcasting yet? Pull up your fucking mic. Where's your mic? Okay guys, I'm learning something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation.

Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of new york i had every intention of staying what are we talking about i don't know i got a bunch of notes and I didn't read a single thing. Welcome back to Extra Dirty. Hello, everyone. No, you're going to do an intro for this. I'm going to be like the tail end. You intro it. I don't want to drive this ship just yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. No, yeah, yeah. She's still in training wheels.

I'm still drunk. Welcome back to Extra Dirty. My name is Hallie Batchelder. And I had such a good time last night I was thriving last night you were living your best life with those bangs bouncing around okay let's tell them what we did last night okay what did we do last night so we went to a absolute rager no it was fun it was fun I got there so early one thing about me is i will be prompt no the best part of the night you guys is i'm i'm standing at the dj booth and all of a sudden i turn around and graydon's eight foot body is literally laid up behind the dj booth

and it wasn't like you on the ground grayed he's in the other room being like oh my god it helped me he was having a good time down there no he was having a ball i kept falling into like the crevice of the table behind the table into the corner lord help you i saw you you lost it a couple times i had to grab you by the nipple pull you back up from your nipple no i was trying to make a point to like not get that drunk last time because i feel like every time you see me i'm in the worst shape ever and matt's like matt said to me before i left last night he's like you can go home if you want to your eyes are crossing and i was like fuck i failed i didn't see your eyes cross as much but that could because i was sitting next to you like this so i was never

making direct eye contact with you i was just like looking at the side of your head so i didn't really see your eyes you were busy we should we talk about the tea of me literally talking to remi about the guy that's dating an influencer that lied to everyone and said he fucked me? Wait, yeah. Wait, I forgot. Like, we say things to each other when we're drunk and you never know what I'm talking about.

I never know what you're talking about. We just kind of like nod at each other. You're always like, okay. Remy hooked up with this person and before she hooked up with him, he was like saying that he fucked me. I have my list right here let me show you the men i've fucked oh my god my list looks like a phone book where's my phone wait i would love to see your list show me your list okay why is it in your email

look at this cute little list cry and guess who's not on there her fucking boyfriend wait that's way smaller than i thought okay anyways you guys look at this list damn no no no it's a definitely a football team with people on the bench do you rate them by the first time you had it or do you rate them by the good to the bad no just in order just in order yeah yeah look at this it banged a whole family of people they all have the same last name and one more twins yeah anyways yeah so that was funny remi and i were laughing about that because i was like i think that's maybe one of the most freaky behaviors did you have any interaction with this man i took a fan photo with him at montauk when i was at surf lodge i'm in the hamptons a couple years ago

if any of the daddy gangs listening to this this is when i got kicked out of rush myers and almost got kicked out of surf lodge what did you do i go to surf lodge and there's a guy that comes up to me and like he's cute you know and no he's hot but he's short king yeah yeah short king and so he comes up to me he's like, Alex, I'm such a big fan. Can I take a selfie with you? What's his fucking last name? I want to show you this. And I was like, yeah, for sure.

He was like, Daddy Gang. Daddy Gang. And I was like, oh my god, I love a guy that's Daddy Gang with a penis. So then, fast forward, I never think of anything again. And then he told Remy that we had sex. I think that's the most disgusting thing for a man to lie about having sex with a woman freak sorry i'm on one this morning no no no look at the photo look at the phone oh my god the bleach bond silver tone hallie is obsessed with my eras of blonde hair it needs to be studied to be fair it used to be very silver but I feel like it got me through a

lot it's probably how you feel about like filler I just like love the needle feeling not in my arms you do you do I couldn't get my ears pierced till I was like I could see that I could see you being like a little like dealer swift fan I don't want to get my ears pierced but I need to like what else happened last night listen to me you did the classic thing that is the best thing in the world where Hallie had the entire fucking club and the fucking bouncers looking for her phone and I grab onto her and I literally am holding on clutching onto her purse as I'm like yelling at her and I'm like open your fucking purse right now Remy did that too no no and also no jordan hid my phone

in my purse she was being nice but like she put it in there i didn't know no maria last night i have dementia no what okay what else is great and what else happened last night oh yeah i kept trying to tell you about this last night yeah yeah yeah and you were like what are you saying like you like you couldn't hear me but you heard because you told me that this billionaire somehow knew me he said that back in the day that you guys were like at a halloween party and like what's his face wanted to like set you up with this guy that I went on date with last week what was I wearing what no I feel like everyone knows like what what you remember all

your Halloween costumes like was I snow white was it wait I've never been snow white no wait no was I um little red riding hood no like it was Halloween you were definitely serving face but then someone was like wait she she talks about like all the guys she's hooked up with online and he's telling me this story as i'm on this date with him and i was like wow who would do that that's so crazy i was like fuck i know but like it's safer with the older guys because they don't usually have tiktok that's true it's honestly strategic so he's saying he was too afraid because i was literally like talk about men and then here you are ramping it up 10 times more he's like i'm his worst i'm like hi i'm your worst fucking nightmare actually wait okay so tell me about the date it went well

he looks more wholesome than i thought when you showed me a picture of him last you remember me showing you remember that i do i feel like he looks like he's from greenwich and he shops at polo he is from greenwich he is yeah and he was wearing a polo in the picture he was wearing a polo like spiky like good hair and he's like an uncle he's an uncle yeah oh my god i'm obsessed but like he's too wholesome where did he take you break him you would break him he brought me to um this restaurant right next to zero it's called tushi. And did you have sex with him? No, I didn't. I was stained.

You didn't? Did you guys make out? We made out in front of the whole restaurant. Is there any sexual chemistry? Because I feel like when nice guys are too nice, it's a little like, oh. No, I don't know if he's too nice or too smart. There's something off, though. I feel like I'm not giving him a fair chance because.

Why? He's a billionaire. I feel like you can look past it. I think he's low's low-key like was probably a nerd in his 20s and now he's like and now he's cool because he's a billionaire yeah now that that's like an asset but i feel like of all the things you've probably looked past with men like anything with him you could get past because he's a billionaire wait did you see have you guys seen anything on TikTok about what people are saying about us? Yeah, I actually have. I'm getting sent a lot of things that you're grooming me. I was like, wait, what?

Like she's grooming her. I have been grooming her since the day I met her okay what does that even fucking mean you've literally been doing this without me before you met me yes and now i'm just literally like helping you with production you're just the groomer i am literally the groomer come one come all if you want to get groomed by alex cooper hit me up wait no i was actually more talking about like this like there was like a financial conversation did you see this oh people were saying like there's something i saw tiktok it was too much i was like too hammered and they were talking about like the renaissance oh i did she was talking like jane eyre or something like wait i was like wait what the fuck are you talking i think that they were like a little like perturbed by the conversation about like your dad having money or something um they're probably

broke anyone that comments being like this girl suck blah blah it's donna flex you're poor here's and i don't and i don't feel bad for you here the thing. I don't relate to that concept because I at one point was fucking broke. And so I can talk about this shit. Like, I worked fucking hard. You, eh, shut up. But me, no, I'm just kidding. Well, no, no, it's true. Moving on.

What else should we talk about? You think people think I'm grooming you? Wait, there was one video that she's like, she's trying to pull her out of like all this information. I'm like, no, that's just how we talk. Wait, she's trying to pull all this information out? What does that mean? Like about like sex stories and shit. What?

I saw this whole like in-depth video analyzing my every word. Bitch, I literally wish we had a fucking camera on us when we were in my fucking house drinking whiskey because we literally are speaking the exact same way if not no you don't remember when you gave me 17 house tour no you guys no i not and i put holly to bed one night we get to my house holly is literally so drunk i'm pretty sober crossed i was so i don't smoke ale night we get to my house Hallie is literally so drunk I'm pretty sober crossed I was so I don't smoke Alec we get home and Hallie's like one more nightcap one more nightcap and I'm like okay fine fucking shit and Matt's like so excited he's like yes one more nightcap the whiskey so I start pouring her whiskey and I make us ramen noodles Hallie was hesitant but she took the noodles I don't like food but I ate the ramen so then we ate and we brought you upstairs to the guest bedroom.

Hallie was like, I don't want to go to bed yet. You were literally stomping your foot. You said, I want a house tour. I was like begging Lauren to stay up with me. I want to have a summer party.

Lauren, immediately gone. So we go upstairs and Hallie is like, show me your closet. She's walking around in my closet. She's going into me and Matt's bed. We finally get her into her room.

We have a threesome. No. Then they matt's bed we finally get her into a room we have a threesome no that may peg me we get her into her room and hallie sits down on the carpet and she's like good night and we're like what are you doing she's like i was gonna just sleep on the bathroom floor there's a perfectly good king-size bed waiting for her so matt says sit the fuck down she sits down on the couch and matt proceeds to take Hallie's feet and starts taking off her shoes. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Because you don't know. I don't know where this is going. And we're like, literally shut up.

We don't undress her. That's where the grooming started. And this is where the grooming started. We tuck her into bed. Yeah. And she went to bed. She wakes up the next day. She comes down for coffee.

And she asks me for a fucking house tour i'm like i literally took you through my whole fucking house last night you cunt but that morning i woke up i literally didn't know where i was i was like this doesn't look like the hotel tell the fucking computer story yeah kelly did you not watch our episode of color daddy i've watched parts about let's just run this back insert clip from color daddy i'm let me guess what you did yeah you went up to the desktop you pressed the space bar you know i couldn't watch the whole episode by myself i need it's kind of scary no it's very scary and i knew what i was talking about the whole time did you when you okay wait can we talk about how are you feeling about having a podcast now

did you get a good response this is going to be your second episode like how's the response been going i think it's been positive i think we got some i think shock values what's needed here did you hear from the terrorist which one the man the man with the short story no i didn't know if he would reach out to you being like please don't talk about me well it's too fucking late i'm so proud of you i feel like you're doing such a great job i've groomed you to success and now i can let you fly no wait are you coming tonight or no no i am coming tonight oh okay you don't have to no i want you to no no no i want you to i'm gonna be thinking about that all day no i'm saying like i don't want you to. I'm going to be thinking about that all day. No, I'm saying like, I don't want you to feel like you have to.

Graydon, are you coming? But you know what I mean? Like, I don't want you guys to feel like you have to. Alex does not want us to come. I don't want you guys to feel like you're kind of overheating, but I have to keep up like. No, I'm over it. It's 70 degrees. I just figured out my heat yesterday.

I have to take this off. Okay. Wait. Meeting Lauren's boyfriend last night was so fun can i tell you something though yeah people online think that it's not just something i did like a few times that it's like a service i provide it's like people think like lauren will call me like hi i'm making dinner jordan's needs his dick sucked can you come uber over like that's not that's not what it was it's only on holidays like yeah we were specifically memorial day we were i feel like it only happens in nantucket wait where are the locations that's happened uh it's nantucket just nantucket see i feel like you guys get fucking freaky on nantucket. Well, like there's something in there.

I think Nantucket's like where I've been my freakiest self. Yeah, because it's kind of like Narnia. It feels like a fake land. Then you go back to reality and you're like, ooh. I just like drag men back to the basement of my parents' home that has no windows and just like a gas bed and just let it rip. Wait, Gray didn't hook up with someone the other day. Get in here now. Just a quick one, then get back in bed.

Breaking news. Grayden sucked. And got sucked. up with someone the other day get in here now just a quick one then get back in bed breaking news great and sucked and got sucked no and on the cape no wait i was in my car and i was driving and he was diddling me obviously and i got a new car and it's like i don't know i don't know how to work my new car right so i take my seatbelt off while he's diddling me. And if you take your seatbelt off in my car, the whole fucking car turns off. Okay? I didn't know this. So mid-diddle, I'm driving.

I take my seatbelt off because the seatbelt's in the way. My whole car turns off. I lose control of the steering. And my car just stops in the middle of the road. This kid's hands in my pants. And we're looking. It was insane. It was, like, really really dangerous and we just look at

each other and i was like all right that just like killed the whole entire vibe just a little so then i had to turn the whole the car on i didn't know how to turn the car and it was a whole thing wait but yeah keep going i'm trying to remember so who who stuck who first? Wait, also, who decides that? Do you have a defender? Who decides who starts? I don't know, bitch. Who decides who starts when you fuck? It's probably you.

Who is better, you think? Me, definitely. You bet out of commission. I know. Muscle memory. And I feel like sometimes the first time back, you really give it all you got. Oh, yeah. Like your life fucking depends on it.

Because it does. Were you in the front seat? Did you pull over? No, I was driving. Well, you're not going to get it while you're driving. Actually, the first time we hooked up, I was driving and I was sucking him off with one hand on the steering wheel. This was years ago and I almost crashed my fucking car into a telephone pole. I used to be really crazy, if you can't tell.

I used to be nuts. I've been to jail. Did you know that? Have I told you that? No, why have you been to jail i was really drunk and i was underage no wait i feel like you were like sassy like i was crazy police when you were young the police chief in my hometown knew me by my first and last name because i would get in so much trouble where did you get arrested this place called the xfinity Center in Philadelphia?

no in Mass was it like at a country concert or something? because I've almost got arrested there too Dierks Bentley yeah classic I got fingered during that concert oh my god

in the mosh oh my god by the on the grass yeah in the back in the green by the trees like by the port-a-potties yes

yeah that's where everybody used to get fingered should we go that would be crazy so how did you get arrested what were you doing just drinking um okay so i had a bunch of nips stuffed in my shoe like shooters like nips and then i gave the cop a fake id and then he ran it and it like obviously was fake so they threw me in the slammer and then my dad never came to fucking pick me up so they put me to real jail yeah what was it so annoying it makes me so mad what was it like in there scary so people well they put me in a police van they took off all

my clothes i only had like my base layers on they took all my jewelry you didn't spread the cheeks no i wish yeah it was great it's bad you do not want to go to jail jail's not fun like i was in the real jail for a hot second like how long like an hour i thought you were saying like no no no because my dad was taking a sweet time how much did it take to bail you out you think it was like 25 it was like yeah did you tell her the ski mask story were you did i no i'm sorry i can't get over the fact that graydon just said that with one hand he was driving a vehicle and on the other side he had one eye up and do you have the thing where

you're you're cross-eyed right so you can kind of look one eye up and one eye down at the dick? I can do it. No, I wasn't looking at the road at all. Craydon, pull over. That's how people die. This was when I was in high school. So, like, obviously I'm going to do that in high school. Obviously.

You just keep one hand on the... Don't do this. You keep one hand on the steering wheel on a straight road. So then you just hold the steering wheel and you go straight. Wait, he was hot, though. Yeah. Yeah, I know he was hot. He's always the hottest on Thanksgiving Eve. straight. Wait, he was hot though. Yeah. He's always the hottest on Thanksgiving Eve. It's like this weird thing.

Yeah. People get hotter on Thanksgiving Eve. And it's every fucking Wednesday night on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Every time. Sexy. Other than that, needs some work. Who came first? None.

What? I know. What? Because of the car. My car turned off. It like fucked up the whole vibe. Oh, and they just stopped there? Your car turned off it like fucked up the whole vibe your car turned off you turned on yeah i turned off and my car turned off and why haven't you guys had sex i don't really want to green doesn't like sex it's too much i'm picky i wish i was more picky do you don't want to go near that. Do you have more bodies than her? No. I only have like eight. Wait.

One, two, three, four. Just kidding. Any same names? I like how they like progressively got more famous. We agreed on what is the ski mask story. No, you have to tell Alex the ski mask story. This is so important to society. Just like like, paint the picture in my head. Okay.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy. Okay, so, once again, I'm on Cape Cod, Cape Cod, the hometown, the homeland, and I got this message from this person on this app called Grindr, which I use very cautiously because, like, I don't want to get killed, right? This person messages me

and it said a couple things in their like bio and I was like I just feel like I know who this person is but he wouldn't send me a picture he wouldn't send me a picture so I had no idea who he was I feel like on Grindr they just show like their weird like yeah they show like a torso picture why did you feel like you knew who it was? I just had this. I had this feeling. Wasn't he tall? And like you like there was only so many tall people.

Yeah. Like not as tall as me. Like tall-ish. Oh because Cape Cod is small. Yeah. Ish. Okay. And his picture was like a picture of like a picture frame.

Like for his picture. It wasn't his body. And I was like i feel like i like would know that picture for some reason anyway so i meet up with this kid in a parking lot and i could have been like brutally murdered i'm not gonna lie it was at like 1am and like this like weird part of town i don't go to obviously and i'm i'm waiting there and i look into the wood. I need to like... I look into the woods. It's like a foggy night. Like there's fog.

This fucking person emerges out of the woods wearing like a matching sweatsuit and a fucking ski mask approaching my car. And before he even got into my car, I knew who it was. How? I just knew. He got into my car i knew who it was how i just knew he gets into my car the only way he would talk is like in mumble so i couldn't recognize his voice like suck my shit like fucking speaking in tribal or something okay he takes out his schlong. I'm not even kidding. It almost hit my fucking dashboard. It was huge.

And that's where the story ends because he couldn't get hard and then it kicked him out. Wasn't he going back to his girlfriend too? I don't know. Wait a second. I don't think so. Wait, I thought you made a... I hope not.

Well, not my problem. In that moment when he pulls out and you see it on the dash, are you like, are you? It's like it goes out my window on the other side. When Godzilla enters the picture, are you like, and what do you say? You try to like jack him off? Do you touch him at all? I was like, it's going to be a him off do you touch him at all i was like it's gonna be a long night you gave him a little diddle oh i was putting my whole i was putting my whole

back into it that's the worst when you're off a flaccid penis just fucking shaking it i'm like what's going on shake wait no literally and then how did he leave like he just literally left in silence i kicked him out and then i'm sure he did like a mumble and was like boy did you ever see this man again no but he messaged me again last week he wants more on the same app you have to do it i will you have to reply and be like bring the ski mask like for old time's sake i think no i told him i know who he is what did he say he was like oh fuck or something but i was like you're a fucking idiot i mean like who cares yeah why is he wearing a ski mask because he's straight oh he is straight

yeah so does he have a girlfriend i think you said that like oh i have to get back to my girlfriend anyways i don't like really know i've never seen a person like i don't really know his life it's funny because like raiden will go on grinder on nantucket and we'll like walk into crew and you'll be like it's like a bunch of like married couples and their families and he'll be like he's on grinder he's on grinder yeah it's crazy yeah it's fucking insane another number hot it's just sad like it's 2024 just come out i wish they could like be like themselves yeah i mean i don't really care but um it's not my problem you know but none of them that are like that hot feel used no i'm big strong boy are you hungover yeah but i'm kind of drunk now from this bloody mary wait i feel great now i feel so good should we go out

it's literally 11 in the morning yeah wait wait so you're coming tonight what are you gonna wear wait what is the plan tonight? You guys, I have no idea. The plan was we're going to have a cocktail hour. I just thought it would be nice to keep it going. I want to keep celebrating you. Did you like my speech last night? No, I love you so much.

You don't understand. I wanted to have a little cocktail hour with us to just keep drinking. Is it just us tonight? The three of us. I rented out a whole... Matt, stay home. Matt, stay home. to just like keep drinking. Is it just us tonight? The three of us. Now imagine. I rented out a whole. Matt, stay home. Matt, stay home.

No, I think it's going to just be like everyone like kind of similar to last night-ish. No, it's at a good restaurant too. It is? Yeah. Where is it? You don't know where it is? I have literally no idea where we're going.

To St. Theo's. Have you been there before? Never been there in my life. It's great Italian. I think we just got gotta like start drinking early. I love when you're like this. Maybe we'll go out again. Where do you guys go when we go out? I've only been to, I've only been

out here to Little Sister twice, that's it. That guy on my list. You've definitely been at Little Sister. No, no, no. The one and only time I was at Little Sister is when I see this hockey player that I had like on and off talk to in college. So I'm there and I see him and I knew he had a girlfriend but I see him and like we kind of knew each other from college so I still

went up to him I'm not trying to fuck him but then the rest of the night he was trying to fuck and I always thought he was so hot and I only had sucked his dick it was the first like curved penis that I like did the gluck gluck on and I like really learned a lot from it like 90 degrees it literally was so huge and then at the top more but like kind of the whole um to the side down down would be crazy oh it depends what way you're looking at it it kind of is like that straw like that yeah what is that that's to the side or is that up that's down that's down well it depends what way you're looking at it listen i was scared to have sex with it because i don't know how that would work you would squirt you would yeah i feel like that hit the side of my walls not my g spot anyway so i'm at little sister we're talking we're talking it slowly gets more progressively flirty and then we go to avenue after two people so avenue is closed i've had sex in avenue bathroom

oh my god avenue is so good it's just like these tight walls and everyone's just getting fucked and so we're sitting up on the we're sitting up it's the end of the night and i literally look him in the eyes and i say i have no interest in doing this if you actually are still with that girl like please and the whole night he's been convincing me i don't have a girlfriend i don't have a girlfriend she's so obsessed with me i don't have a girlfriend so obviously i fuck i bleed everywhere you guys i'm not kidding you yeah the dick the fucking punctured you it punctured an artery you guys i didn't realize how bad the blood was until in the morning his agent walked in and was

like you have like a body armor shoot or something and he walks he goes oh shit we're both laying there naked there's blood all over the sheets there's blood on the wall i feel like men don't care about that it was so dark and there was blood everywhere and then you guys less than a month later he was down on one knee and proposed and now they're married oh my god she's still bleeding i've never been the same since anyways yeah so now he's married and I don't know about that. Cheers to her. I hope he's not cheating. That little scummy.

Cheers to curb dick. Have you had a lot of curb dick? Not to the side. Wait, Graydon. That makes no sense. What does it look like? Usually when you say a dick curve, you're like, it goes like goes like this no hold it like it's sticking out of you right now like either this way or this way not fucking i know that way no i feel like it has a hook to the

left or right yeah yeah yeah it's like just a little hook it just starts going up and then it just curves curves curves more that way like kind of like my eyes i'm getting scared okay wait so where are we going tonight we should go to submerser i don't know anything about new york i love submerser what's submerser it's uh you know where mercer kitchen mercer kitchen used to be it's artiano's now and they bought out the bar underneath and it's like a club good daddy's regardless we're gonna go what are you gonna wear tonight disco petite disco you've definitely heard of petite disco no okay so we'll go out tonight i'm holding you to that oh i'm ready i don't want to get too drunk tonight i always say that i feel like every

time you see me i'm so fucked up around you and you're like oh holly's holly i have the best times with you okay fine i'll get fucked up tonight all right fine fine fine okay i feel good about this um okay you guys i think we just crushed this no i think this is amazing how do you feel great in i needed to get that off my chest so i feel great the jail part or um no i don't care about the jail part the dick in my mouth okay bye guys wait this is your show say something i hate the end i hate the end every time guys this place has great energy tune back in every week yes for this bitch tune in for the tits tune in for great and sucking stories i may be back every time i'm in new york i need to come on this fucking couch no i really think you do it brings me back back from the VP to here.

Let's fucking go. Perfect. Love you all. Love you all. Bye. I took notes on this night because I literally had to like have other people piece it together for me. It was quite the fucking night. I mean, guys, I am wrapping up the weekend. Obviously, I'm missing three nails. I just hopped out of the sauna. I could smell the tequila in Merlot

exiting the chat. But like, honestly, the missing nails, that's a fucking telltale sign of a good night. Also, I feel like I'm like three pounds lighter in hair extensions. Those I left on Nantucket. We'll get into that. Anyways, where did the night begin? We went out with a good group of people. Guys, I swear we went to every fucking location in New York City. We went out with Alex and Matt. We started with a bigger group, a solid group, a great group at this restaurant, St. Theo's. We had some hors d'oeuvres. We got the drinks flowing. I again promised myself that I was going to go into the night, you know, not drink that much, not embarrass myself in front of father. But alas, the eyes were crossing quickly as the night

began. So we started there and then we decided it'd be a good idea to go to Zero Bond. I love Zero Bond. I honestly don't know if Alex has been there, but I want to show her Zero Bond. So we went in the back. We had more dirty martinis, but by the time we were sitting down at Zero Bond, I could feel it. I was getting fuzzy. My eyes were definitely crossed. I had one eye looking directly in front of me and the other eye was already looking at the next location of the night. Like I woke up, went into my camera roll. I had a video of me, Alex and Liv. We were all in the bathroom. Liv had scissors for some reason. One of us thought it was going to be a good idea to cut half of Alex's skirt off to make it like more micro. Honestly, it looked amazing, but I don't know who thought who

trusted us with scissors I don't know but anyways we started the night there we dropped a couple flies probably like the people that actually had some logic that didn't want to continue the night because by that time we the drinks were fucking flowing we were cozy right oh oh then we texted our mutual we have a mutual friend New York we texted him and his friends they had a table at this place called the Mulberry I mean I call them the daddies so like he had friends that were like the daddies and we like went and met up with them the one daddy that I had actually had gone on a date with recently but like this man is perfect to the T. This man, he is successful. He is sexy.

He is suckable. He's all the most important things you could think of. But just I think I am the problem here and I don't want to like kinder his soul. I feel like I would cause a ruckus in this poor sweet man's life. I mean, he's so sweet. So I go, Lauren, this guy would be perfect for you. Like go for the billionaire daddy. And she was like, wait, what?

Like, why are you just giving the man you just want to date with him? I'm like, oh, I'll take him. There's more where that came from. There's more where that came from. So anyways, we did that. And honestly, I don't really remember. Hold on, let me check my notes. This is sad that I have to check my notes up.

Did we really do that? So I remember being at this bar and this is a fun bar, but it's a small bar and there's also no windows. Like there's no exit plan. If that place were to light on fire, you know, like I'm not climbing out of the dungeon. That's kind of how like I felt going into it. It's like very underneath. It's like subterranean and it gets really fucking hot in there and also we didn't have that much room to sit I also like didn't know if I was fucking with the music and like that can dictate my mood I can go from a good mood to a bad mood really quickly I remember like not jiving with like it was like playing funky town or some shit like that I don't know that wasn't my jam so we went to the next spot and but we could have called it a night after the third spot or was it the fourth spot? No. Yeah.

We went to do West, which I love, you know, I love a good do West Sundays. If you want to find hot, rich men, go to do West on a Sunday afternoon. Not me. Like I should gatekeep places like that, but I'm a real one. Like go to fucking due West. Then we went there. And by that point, I think like my tapings were out and flapping in the wind. My hair was undone. We only have video footage. I don't have memory at that point in the night. Um, but it was fucking fun. Like we had a good time like we were drinking we were laughing we were being silly we were letting loose I don't even remember what men we were with at that point but you know what the most sickening part of this whole situation is I had called a black lane which

is basically like a fancier uber it's like a car service to pick up me and Graydon. We decided like in our drunken endeavors, that'd be a good idea to leave at 6am and go from here to Nantucket. I made it a fucking point to have the car pick us up at 6am on the dot so we can make this 12pm ferry. We get there. there our driver was like I don't know the area like I don't want to drive too fast this guy was moving like fucking molasses which I respect because safety first but we missed the boat by four minutes I was literally waving to my friends that were on it we were like no fuck so what did we do we went to the little diner right next to it and we got like three bloody

marys and a lobster roll which honestly made us feel a bit better but the fact that we woke up so early just to miss the fucking boat sparked a flame in my soul that I really don't even want to get into right now but it was annoying but whatever and then I got to the island we kind of got there took a nap and then woke up and I was like we we're in fucking Nantucket right now and what did I miss what was the only piece of thing I left back in my apartment my whole wallet my purse so not only did I have that long ass travel day going there I had no ID to get into any single fucking bar nothing although I do a poll there so I was completely fine but I couldn't fly home so I had

to take a train like all like a ferry there is no easy way of getting to Nantucket quickly especially on a weekend like Christmas stroll but you know what it was fucking fun and we lived Tulsa it was good it was good night it was good in multiple nights it was a fun weekend you know what I'm trying to say I don't even have enough time to sit and talk about that in this episode. I'll get to that in a different episode because the debauchery, like I feel like this nail that I have missing right here is probably lodged in some sailor's ass. But you know what? I live to tell the story barely. Like my neck hurts and I need to call my mom. But anyways, what a fucking time. We crushed it crushed it New York City I sound like I'm like giving a speech right now anyways I love you guys that's all for today's episode and so many kisses

and this will love you all