Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Foreplay, fashion flops, & family chaos *summer check in*

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

Hallie and Lauren are back, and here to launch a campaign to bring back fingering! They share their hot takes on the Bezos wedding guest list (was Kylie in white?!) and all of the fashion moments that were hot or NOT. They unpack Lauren’s lost butt plug, Hallie’s passport saga continues, and they reveal that Hallie's dad wants to see a contract before appearing on the pod. Then... wedding robots, age-gap relationships, and whether bald men are sexy. It’s summer scheming, fashion judging, and family love... enjoy my cookies!!

Well, you used the butt plug. I did. I liked it. And then I lost it in the move. I think that's really scary. Someone's like using it. Someone's like using it as a good doorstop. OK, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation.

Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay, hi motherfucking freaks, how are we doing today? Anyways, hi guys, welcome back to Extra Dirty. This week's episode is gonna be part two. We're gonna be talking about how much we love Grayden, my warped relationship philosophies. We touched on a lot of things in this episode. It's gonna be really silly.

It's gonna be part two from last week's. And let's fucking rip it. You guys are gonna be obsessed with it. And as always, thank you for watching. I love you so much. Let's fucking do it. Let's do a whole segment on how much we love Grayden. I think that would be watching. I love you so much. Let's fucking do it. Let's do a whole segment on how much we love Grayden. I think that would be good.

I think that's, and let's just talk about, I wanna dedicate, I think I should do this every episode, honestly. Just like a little shout out to my fucking man Grayden. That's my fucking Cookie Monster. And you fuck with my Cookie Monster, you fuck with me. I love that man so much. He's just a perfect boy.

He's so perfect. Like, he can do nothing wrong. Even when he goes, he's my man. You two together is something else. He would be an obstacle if I ever found an actual man that would stick it in me. I would worry about the time that it would take away from my time with Graydon because that's my man.

Oh my God, like, you guys are just so fucking funny together. Yeah. And when Graydon's with me, he brings out like a really like soft side in me. I like, I giggle so much around that. I was going to say he brings out like a giggly side in you. Like a soft giggly. Yeah.

It's just interesting just because when I see Graydon with me, he's so like calm and kind of cool and collected. And then when he's with you, like you just bring something out in him that I've just never, it's just so fucking funny. Yeah, it's your fake tits. It's your bit of this lavender marriage. Yeah. That is fucking incredible.

And you guys both like Halle's like pretending to suck Raiden head in his lap. He's like, you know, in her boobs. He's like a skull fucking. Yeah, he's skull fucking her. And then they both come up for air. And at the same time, they go, oh, I came at the same exact time.

They're like, was it good for you? Yeah. Like sometimes low key sex. You guys are in tune and we're all just we were at Scorpio's and you guys were doing this at the table and the table's next. As obviously, don't get your bit. And they were at Scorpio's and you guys were doing this at the table and the table's next to us obviously don't get your bit. And they were like, what the fuck is going on? Could they tell he was gay?

I don't, I don't know. They thought I was sucking someone off at Scorpio's. Imagine if that like someone recorded that. Have we talked about that story? What? About that guy at Spaniard. No, yeah, let's talk about it after though. It'll get too choppy and jumpy.

But no, and also another thing, great, it was funny, because Alex looked at me at one point in our trip and was like, Bish, I think I get why you have to stay sober. I'm like, why? And she's like, these two just tried to find left from right and were spinning around in circles together.

And then I watched them walk off and they were literally bumping each other off a cliff. So I understand why you don't drink as much as they do because those two need a babysitter. The first dinner, are you talking about the first dinner and we can always mingle? We're kind of on shrooms that night too. But we got up to go to the bathroom

and Alex was like, it's still left. And we were like, we look like Finding Nemo. Yeah, you guys were spinning in a circle. Like the penguins. Yeah. And then we watched you. What are the seagulls? The seagulls.

Yeah, they're like, wah, wah, wah, wah. Yeah, and then we watched you walk off and you were bumping into each other. I was in heels and I'm not really good at walking. It was so funny. Yeah. And then watching you guys play in the water, literally play. Like, and no one was recording. No one's recording. Like, they're just doing this. And then we proceed to record because we're like, this is so fucking funny. But they're splashing each other. He was lifting me. Yeah, he's lifting you.

He's throwing you. It's so fucking funny. I just love him. I want him to find a very special man. That man will be very lucky. Yeah, I think he will. He's also another one. He doesn't.

He doesn't mean like, suck or fuck as much as me. No. I'm like a fucking Dyson vacuum sometimes. Sucking away. Sucking my way through the years. Sucking your way through. Yeah. Sucker McGee. Every once in a while. Yeah they used to call me the human vacuum in college. Did they actually? Yeah. How did that make you feel? I don't know if that was I feel like blow related or dick related but either or would have worked. Who make you feel? I don't know if that was, I feel like, blow-related or dick-related. But either or would have worked. Who called you that? I don't know, someone.

Was it one of that? It was like one guy. It was one person. It was one person. But it sucked. Also, BDH, back door hallow. That one's fucking hysterical. Yeah, because I was known as the anal princess.

Why do you like anal so much? I don't know. I just think, I feel like known as like the anal princess. Why do you like anal so much? I don't know, I just like, I feel like one of my ex-boyfriends like wanted me to try it and I like was into it. And I think there was a point where I was also like super people-pleasy. So like I wanted to like, I think that I was like- You're also a yes girl.

You're always like, yeah. Yeah, I say yes to everything and I want it to impress and be super freaky. And then I ended up liking the freaky shit that I tried. And now I'm just sick in the fucking head. I think that's like- Which is reflective in my porness. Like maybe more young girls, like all of you.

Say yeah, try it out be freaky I mean I think you should try everything once and if it doesn't stick it doesn't work it doesn't work but like I feel like the freaker the more fun I agree I don't want vanilla sacks that's boring no I agree we're like I need a you've been lucky you don't even let Jordan go down on you. That's crazy. But that's because I don't like it. I don't like it.

I'm just like, I get in my head. I rather like, I gave Jordan a head. I know that's crazy that you never suck. But see, how many times, like, when I do suck, he gets really excited. Guess how many times since January have you sucked? Probably like twice. But he gets really excited when I do.

So it's like, I like I do. So it's like. Oh my God. I like get to like, it's like my little like vault. I get to like keep it in like, okay, it's your day. She's the worst. No, I'm not. I'm really not. That's like, you're like.

He's very happy in other ways. Did you suck him off a lot before you were boyfriend girlfriend? So you tricked him. I tricked, that's what he says. He's like, you tricked me. Yeah. Yeah, I did. I tricked, that's what he says. He's like, you tricked me. Yeah. Yeah, I did.

I actually enjoy you sucking dick. I know. And you know it's one of my talents. And anyone that I've ever gotten with will confirm that. I hope they see this and they will confirm. They will. They will. I just like don't, I don't know.

You know, we know we'll talk about this forever. Well, one, I don't like, I just don't like anyone down there because I'm like too, as Leo as I am, I'm like self-conscious in some sort of capacity, probably. You would think as a Leo, you would think that like a rainbow was coming out of your pussy. I know, but for some reason,

I just like can't get out of my head. I'm like, let's just do something else that like, I would be, would both enjoy. I just think it's like, you're right. It's not gonna like rarely get to anyone there. But it's like a good appetizer before the entree. I know, but we have other appetizers. What's your other appetizer?

Oh, I love fingering. And I love like- Fingering's fun. I love- Bring fingering back. I love fingering. I love playing with the vibrator, all that stuff. That's why the-

Playing with the vibrator. That's why it's packed and it comes with everywhere with me. I wanna get fucking finger banged. I don't think I've gotten fingered in so long because usually I skip that part. Okay, see, that's the part that I don't skip. Well, I feel like that's very, you're in a relationship.

I feel like I skipped that whole part. Yeah. Because we're just like, I'm just trying to jump their bones. I got that. I need to be stopped. I'm so intrigued by people that are in their 20 years of marriage.

Like, what are you guys doing? Can we get someone on here that's been in a marriage for 20 years? Ask my parents. I can't. Yeah, but your parents are like, they might think of Lauren. That's disgusting. I don't want to think about my mother's back shots, please, we won't talk. I wonder what your parents do. I

like actually can't even think about it. God, Nina sucking away my my dad's like a gastro one time told me that like, I can't even talk. What I like thought I I had a fissure or something. Why, from anal? No, I think I was constipated and it hurt to poop. Oh, yeah, someone had to just get a fissure. And my dad was like, honey, it could be one of two things. My dad's a gastro.

And he was like, one, it could be a fissure. Two. And I was like, I don't do that. And he was like, honey, it's completely natural. I was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? You freaks. Well, you used the butt plug. I did.

I liked it. And then I lost it in the move. That's really scary. It's probably someone's book end. I know. I lost it. Someone's using it. Someone's using using it. Someone's like using it as a good doorstop.

Oh my God, a wine stopper. Oh my God. Once I shoved one of those in my ass for a guy. Yeah, because he was like, what will she not do? If he asked me to do that today, I would do it again. He's so fucked up. He's so fucked up, I love him. Fuck.

He likes, what does he do? He likes every story. He'll always like, to this day, will like stories of you, and just to get under my skin, like twisting the knife, and I'm just like, ugh. Does he like your normal stories?

No. So he'll only like stories of me. He doesn't like my Instagrams. So he'll only. Just of you. It's just so. Pulling that fucking dick. It's so him. He's such a, he's, uh, love that, we love him,

but like he's just such. No, we love him. That's so him. Yeah. Anyway, back to Graydon. Yeah, back to Graydon and his gaping asshole. His asshole's probably tighter than mine though, because he doesn't do that.

We were like, we had this whole joke about Graydon on the trip because he made you leave the room to go number two. Yeah and I was like he can do it all wrong his shit probably comes out and like smelling like Popeye and like in a heart shape and like lavender fairy dust. Like imagine Graydon shitting out hearts. No. Graydon just like fairy dots. He's so cute. He's so cute. It's funny when you see him, though, because he's so fucking tall.

And he's just, his little walk. He's just so delicate. He's so delicate. Whenever he picks up a sandwich even, do you notice how he's just like? He's so, oh, I love him. This weekend's going to be really fun. Yeah, this weekend's going to be.

Yeah, let's talk about our plans. So we are going to Nantucket for the 4th of July, but on the day of the 4th, we are going to the Cape to meet up with our friends, Emma Pritchard, Peyton, Maggie, Grayden, the whole fucking squad. It's gonna be so much fun. And go out in the Cape and stay there that night. I think that'll be so much fun. I miss Emma and Maggie so much fun. And go out in the Cape and stay there that night. I think that'll be so much fun. I miss Emma and Maggie so much.

Yeah, and it's their first time meeting Liv's boyfriend. Really? Oh, they're going to kicky. Yeah, because Jordan and him played basketball together. Obviously, Peyton's on the Celtics, so they're all going to be dribbling balls and talking about balls. I was like, imagine Jordan getting in there.

He's just like the little one. Oh, yeah, because they're both professional athletes. Yeah, it's gonna be really funny. I'm actually, I wonder if Jordan will even like go in. I think it'd be funny if he did. Jordan should. He should, it'd be funny. Knock the dust off.

Not the finance bro getting in there. I know, and he's so little. He's so little. How tall is he? He's like six foot, six foot. Six foot. He's like an honest six foot. foot. He's like an honest six foot like it said six one on his Roster which usually means like six foot

But if I'm good in three inch heels and he's taller than me which he is when I'm in three inch Oh, then yeah, I have ten eleven So he's like a little higher than six foot. Yeah, you're tall. I'm tall. Yeah, I'm almost five ten What are our goals of this Nantucket trip? I'm a little nervous to go. I just feel like it's going to be really crowded. It's going to be really crowded. And it's very young.

Yeah. And just very crowded. Very crowded. I think it's the first, because we went for more all day. I want to go to crew, but I'm scared too. I think it's going to be OK. I think if we stay in the back at one of the round tables, I think it will be OK.

Sometimes those round tables are almost like you're on display. Right. But I love it. I'm not giving up those. I think it's going to be really fun. I think I'm a little worried about Cisco. Maybe we don't go to Cisco. Maybe we don't go to Cisco.

We're going to Cisco. I want to go to Cisco. Maybe we don't go to Cisco. No, we're going to Cisco. Okay, we're going to Cisco. I wanna go to Cisco. I think it'll be really fun. I think it'll be your biggest summer. Like you are gonna be, like that's your demo now. Yeah, and I love it. Yeah.

And now it's my dad's demo, and Sammy. Sammy's demo. Sammy's little TikTok is so cute to me. So funny, like I fucking love him. Like it's so, like the contrast between Sammy's demo. Sammy's little TikTok is so cute to me. So funny, like I fucking love him. Like it's so, like the contrast between Sammy's TikTok and my TikTok is like fucking oil and water. It's like night and day. So funny.

He's like working out, he's being wholesome. Even my sister making TikToks, like Brynn, she is a Pilates instructor in Boston and she does like these really wholesome day in the life, it's kind of like what Sammy does. And they're just like such a contrast from what I post. It kind of makes them like, it makes them more interesting. Cause it's like-

Yeah, there's so many characters and so many different kinds of characters going on. Which kind of makes it work. If we're all like my dad, it would be fucking mayhem in my house. And like, thank God, burn sober. Like we need one sober person watching us because my family, I come from a family of like, we casually drink a lot. Yeah, it's like that's like,

it's part of like our, you know, tradition. Yeah. We go to dinner, they have drinks with dinner. They have drinks before bed. Collects wine. Yeah, my dad collects wine and it's kind of one of his hobbies. And it's just like what I get. They're very waspy. Do you know what that white Anglo-Saxon person?

But is that like that's what they do? Yeah, like wasps, they like to have a glass of wine. They're like drinking at dinner. They're drinking while reading a book before bed on a random Tuesday. I don't drink alone. which is probably the best. Your dad also loves to make drinks. I think it's fun for him. I think his ego's getting up there a little bit.

Yeah, because we're all like, or I mean. The people love him. The people love him. He's so funny. I'm obsessed with him. And I want him to come on this show so bad. But he dead ass wants to see a contract. A contract for what?

I'm like, what are you saying? What does he want to see? I think he thinks it's like a business move. He's so funny. I'm like, you're insane. You're my dad. You're not looking at fucking dog shit. He's so funny.

What? He's like, what does he say to you? Can you explain to him that there's no contracts involved when we sit down? I just signed a contract with Unwell, obviously. I will explain it to him. He's gonna be like, oh, really? Yeah.

And he thinks it's funny to say no. He's trying to fuck with you. He's getting annoying. It wasn't funny when he maybe get off the credit cards and it wasn't funny when he maybe got off the Uber and now he won't even come and support my show. I'm like, fuck you, bro. What's going on here?

No, I'll talk to him. I'll talk to him. He needs to come on, because he is like, yeah. Because his relationship advice and his business advice would be top tier. And he just has such a funny outlook on life. And he's just so not self-aware sometimes, but in a really funny way.

And his jokes are hysterical. He is the one-liners of the century. I get that part of me from him. From him, for sure. You know when I'll randomly just say something that works, but where did you think of that? Where did you think of that? That comes from him.

Yeah, he's really fucking funny. I really wonder what he was like when he was younger. I can't picture him being like that when he was younger. I can't. I can't either because I feel like a lot of that comes with success, success and like confidence. Exactly. I was literally just talking to Jordan about this. I don't picture him being like, I don't picture my mom, like if they linked up now, my mom would be like this fucking douchebag.

Right. It truly does come like he's like the man. Yeah, you should see the way he walks into our room. Oh my God, he's such a little. That's probably where I get that, the way like he's like a strut, I have a strut too. He sashes. Yeah, he like doesn't walk, he like moves through his space. He floats on air.

I can't wait to see him. But he gets like, I showed you this video, like where he's sticking a hundred dollar bill to his forehead and like leaning over across like the bar and sticking it to the bartender's forehead. Oh my God. To tip them. That's when he becomes like a showman.

Yeah, and it's like the lack of self-awareness. Like there's definitely people like around me like, look at this fucking guy, like what is he doing? But it's just like so funny. And I feel like people see a lot of that side of him online because that's what I post, like those snippets and highlights of my- You don't see the comfort.

You don't see the part of my dad where he's so soft and caring with my mom, like a really good husband and really good dad. He's the best. Yeah, even when he's at home cooking, like he's so chill. Cutting the steak for us. And like when we sit down at your dinner, at the dinner table, it's like my favorite thing ever

when we do the at-home meals. And he's like so proud of all of his kids. So proud. I think. Like with me, like you'd think like the shit that comes out of my mouth, like. No. He would be like, you are a fucking whore.

Like who would know you have a father, but he's like, it's business, baby. I like keep it going. That's what he says. It's all business. I love that. Because after I went on Call Her Daddy, I remember being like,

I would not watch that episode to my parents. And he's like, I know what you said. It's all fucking business. You get in there and you keep doing that, sex sells. I love him. And I was like, thanks know what he's done. It's all fucking business. You get in there and you keep doing that. Sex sells. I love him. And I was like, thanks, dad, I love you. And he's like, I'm so proud of you.

Thank God you have parents like that. Like you have such supportive parents. That's the best. I wouldn't be able to do all this, I don't think if they didn't support me. I don't think you would have your personality if you didn't. No.

I'm like an open fucking book on this internet thing. And also like your parents are pretty like open. They're like, like they're jokes and stuff like the way that your dad jokes, like, you know what I mean? So it's not like you have to hide anything or. Oh yeah, I'm a pretty open book. Yeah, that's funny.

People are always shocked when they meet me in person and they say I'm a lot calmer. Yeah. I am a lot calmer in person. If I was like the way I am online 24-7, I would be the most insufferable bitch ever. But when you post on social media, you have to fucking turn it on.

You're doing it to entertain. You have to be theatrical. If I talk like that all the time, I wouldn't have any friends. I would be so annoying. I go through my TikToks sometimes, and I'm like, yeah, I'm like being funny. But like even like my voice changes. Really? I get like a little more vocal fry like a little more like, oh my god.

I like play into like this little bit. It's such a short clip and you have to, it's like your biggest personality in like one minute. Yeah. Yeah. And I execute. You are very calm. Yeah, I'm chill and cross-eyed. Also, when I get super drunk, I'm not dancing on tables.

I am calm. Really quiet and calm. Just cross-eyed. And then I get super anxious. The last night at Meek and Oats, we were all sitting around the dinner table after Scorpio's. I had so much scary the next day. I was like, oh my god, was I embarrassing myself

in front of my fucking bosses? You were actually being so quiet. And Alex was like, you were so quiet. And I was like, I was probably blacked out. Yeah, you were being like so funny. Like just like calm and collect. I was like, she's average. Were my eyes going in different directions?

No, you were just like sipping on your wine. I was drinking wine. Yeah. I was mixing. I took like 19 tequila shots at Scorpio. I feel like they must have watered them down because I did too and I was not in a state of like I didn't get sick so I think they must have watered them down or something. They were also like in I don't know if you noticed but in Greece like they pour baby shots because they know you're gonna to do so many of them. So it's like you don't want like people getting sick.

Exactly. Except we did see that one man dying. I think he must have took, we went into the shop at Scorpios and we were coming outside. I think he must have taken ketamine or something because he was like his eyes were there, his face was there. He was aware he was trying to stand up and his limbs weren't working. Like I literally watched him get up and like.

Fucking hate a K-hole. A K-hole hates to see me coming. That's insane, like that is my biggest fear. Like I was. Sometimes you accidentally do the other white powder. Accidentally. No, that's the only times I've ever done K. When we were in Miami, these guys used to walk around and be like,

Cat or Coke? We were like, huh? And I would, yeah. Yeah. Should we do like a pop culture segment? Yeah. Do you want to talk about the wedding? Oh, here we go.

The fucking- Halle got me a Labooboo. Well, I got it by Labooboo. I got it in Labooboo. I got it in PR and I was like, I'm gonna throw it away. Let's tell everyone that you bought it for me. Okay, I mean, you can say whatever you want, baby.

But Lauren loves her Labooboo. I also love that bag. Is that Miu Miu? Mm-hmm. Fuck. Isn't it good? Where'd you get it? My mom got it for me.

Well, probably Miu Miu. Last year in Milan. It's beautiful bag. It's my work bag. It's your fucking work bag? Yeah. You're such fucking work bag? Yeah. You're such a diva cunt. I know.

You're like a little diva cunt. Do you wanna talk about the Jeff Bezos wedding? Yeah. Where do you wanna start? What'd you think? Did you hear they spent $50 million on it? Yeah. How do you even do that?

Do you like know any of the expenses? Yeah, I mean, they paid for everyone's flights and hotels, flights, hotels. They paid for every they had like probably over 400 people there. And probably everyone was in first class. Probably. I think they paid for flights. But I know for a fact, they paid for everyone's hotels. Venice is also incredibly expensive. Like there's all these like, boats and they probably covered all that and think they... Well everyone had their personal like boat. Yeah.

The venue is probably insane. What was her dress? Her dress was horrible. I'm sorry. I don't like it. Like if you have all the fucking money in the world, I feel like... I also love Dilce and Gabbana and love Dilce. I love them and I am just like that's what you made. Maybe she liked it. I'm just like it wasn's what you made. Maybe she liked it. I'm just like, ugh, it wasn't good for her body. Like she needed the, I actually liked that.

Like something less harsh. I liked, you know, that dress that she wore that looked like a curtain. I liked that dress, but not for wedding. But I think that silhouette was really nice on her. She has like broad shoulders, so she looked good in like the neck open. She's beautiful, but.

But the wedding dress made her look so stocky. I really didn't like it. And there was a carpet on the floor. That did it for me. I didn't see the actual pictures at the venue. It was a gray carpet. It was a gray carpet. Lauren has a lot to say about this wedding.

I know. I just like, you have so much. I know they were like trying to make it tacky, and that was what they were trying to go for. Really? I'm pretty sure. That's what all the headlines are, is they were trying to be like tacky.

Cameron was like, tacky's in. Did they say that, or are headlines saying that? I guess headlines were saying that. Are you just like coming for them? I'm just coming for them. They were trying to be tacky. Like it just, none of it made sense. She had a look that looked like Jackie Taylor.

That's her name, right? Jackie Taylor, whatever. It was like, it was like a suit, suit-ish. Then she had a scapparelli dress that looked like a curtain, which was a chic curtain for a different event. And then she had a fucking weird ass Dolce & Gabbana dress. And then she had some, like, it was just like, nothing made sense.

Like, where's the story here? I would have just done all Dolce. Everything should have been Dolce. Yeah, and all Dolce wedding would be sick. Like, this whole Dolce Vita story. Like, kind of what Courtney did, but Courtney's dress was weird. Did you see that?

Kylie was wearing a white dress. Yeah, it was like silver. I really didn't like her dress. Really? I thought she looked phenomenal. Oh, I just like, made her. I also like, people were like, oh my God, she's wearing white to a wedding,

but I was like. It was like gray. Also like, they don't think they care. They don't care. She just won the lottery marrying Jeff Bezos. Yeah. You think she's like bitching in the bathroom about fucking Kylie Jenner's silver dress?

Probably not. I mean, Kylie just looked a little comical for me. Like comical? Yeah. Wow. You're like a critic. No, sorry. Joan Rivers over here. Oh my god. You're literally, you're going in. Oh my god, I'll be Joan Rivers any day. I wonder if this isn't like clipped. Her, okay, I'll tell you what I didn't like about it. And then Kylie hates you forever. I hope not, love you. Like she's literally, you know I love her. She's my fucking idol. Yeah, I know, I love you, Kylie.

But there was something, the dress accentuated her hips so much that I actually, when I saw it, I giggled. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like it made it look a little costumey because it just, I didn't like Kendall's dress. You know who looked incredible. What's her name?

Leo's girlfriend her dress was so fucking sick. I kind of like Chloe's I Kind of like Chloe's it's like everyone dressed very campy very that's what I'm saying It was kind of like costume like maybe it was supposed to be campy. Look at Kylie's hips Like it looks a little comedic. I mean, I don't think that's comedic compared to the wedding dress. Did you see that? I think Kendall's look is cool. Oh, I like this blue look on Kendall.

Yeah, that's really cool. That's cool. Victoria, very timeless. Tretty. Yeah. She looked, I mean, she's gorgeous. She looked so fucking good. I think that Usher was there Chris freaks me out

Chris looks like Corolla DeVille literally Kim looks I Don't like she wore a skims dress. I don't like love you. She looks fucking weird Leo it put on a massive fucking hat Leo Nardy Caprio. I made a video about this on tik-tok Him hiding the cap down so far like that, like, babe, no one gives a flying fuck you're famous. No one cares anymore. It's been 25 years or whatever the fuck since the movie came out.

So weird. I think there's other, like, he's surrounded by celebrities. I think something happened to him as a kid. I just like see it for him. No, I think he just like was affected by fame too young. Yeah. But like, my CEO was at the wedding.

He will think it's because he just blow and they don't wanna like capture his eyes dilated. Or sunglasses. Maybe. Or that he got hair plugs. Uh, maybe. But like, he's weird. Also people are saying that apparently

he's like a climate activist and like there's something with, I don't know. I don't know, I don't follow. I know that there's like all these private jets going there and like all this stuff. Yeah. And there's something with, I don't know, I don't know, I don't follow. I know that there's like all these private jets going there and like all this stuff. Yeah, there's like something, yeah. Stacey went to the wedding, she looked really good. Wait, that's fucking insane.

Isn't that crazy? Jeff actually looks good. I mean, I'd fuck him. He's handsome. I mean, if with that amount of money, you better get handsome. He's bald, but he's handsome. I don't mind a bald guy.

I don't mind a bald guy either if they like rock. If they like fucking embrace the baldness. Baldness. I actually don't mind it. Yeah. Like the guy that was helping us in Mekano is Alex. Bald. Bald and fucking hot.

And hot. He rocked it. I would have sat on this face. He was hot. But like Kim, like come on. Kim couldn't have done anything else. She looks like she wore like a skim swimsuit. I think I'm pretty sure she's made that print. I was telling Lauren because she's a soon to be bride.

And like I have public speaking problems. I'm not going to make you. I'm just an anxious. I'm going to try. But it might be like on a teleprompter. Like a virtual robot like comes in imagine Green and it's pre-recorded. I'm like welcome guests like and I'm like sitting down watching it. Like what's the guy in the Yeah, wait, that would be so funny. I have a random fucking robot came in. You're thinking of fucking Stephen Hawking. It's really offensive

Ali's like in the chair cross-eyed. Lauren, you can't make fun of disabled people on this podcast. Well, he went to that guy's island, so he's kind of. Oh, yeah, fuck him. Fuck him. Just him. But like that'd be Ali.

I was making a joke, and I was like, Ali's going to get up on the mic. I'm sorry, but if Stephen Hawking is cheating on you, like... Please. He's really going out of his way. Sorry. If I was eating Stephen Hawking and he cheated on me, I'd be like, he really hates me. Really put in his best effort to get some pussy. That wasn't mine. You know what I got today for the wedding? You'd have to type on his computer, wanna fuck. Wanna fuck. Little to the left.

No, but he did go to that fucking island so fuck him, that weirdo. Yeah, I got that mirror mirror photo booth today for the wedding. Yeah. So good. Yeah. But I told Lauren, I was like, if I do give a speech, I'm gonna be tipsy and I'm gonna be looking into the crowd all cross-eyed and I'm gonna be like, I fucked you, I fucked you, I'm gonna fuck you later tonight, probably looking at fucking the groom's dad. That's what would happen.

Yeah. It would be entertaining. also like they've all listened our podcast. They've all listened to the podcast. They all know things that we do. They all know. When the sun sets and the mood is going and the tequila's hitting, they know what we do.

The weddings will be fun. I actually will though tell people, please do not say, someone recommended that for me and like to tell people, don't go out of your way to say bye to me, you can just leave. I know that you came, it's okay. That's a great, that's great. Imagine all 160 people coming up to me, they're like, thank you so much, just leave, you're good.

I promise, I promise I will know that you're. I know you're gonna get annoyed talking to everyone that day Cuz like you're just gonna want to talk to like I'm not gonna want to miss out on all the jokes that you guys have Everyone's like are you gonna do a sweetheart table? Like no, I want to be with my friends. What's a sweetheart table? It's when you just sit with your partner like Emma and Emma and Payton did it like they just had a table for the two of them I Think your sweetheart table should be a select group of people. Yeah, it's not going to be a sweetheart table.

It's going to be like me, you, Jordan, Liv, Minks. Yeah, that's it. Hopefully no one gets offended. They're left out. I know. Graydon. Oh, Graydon. Yeah. Graydon's in the wedding. So you see the flower gay, the flower guy. I've seen that on TikTok. A flower guy just like walks like struts down the aisle,

like whipping like fucking roses at people. He would hate that. No, you're going to make him a bridesman. Yeah, bridesman. Or I don't know, though. Maybe Jordan's going to want him for a groomsman. Like, we're going to have to fight over Graydon. I mean, I think it would work.

Whatever you mean, Graydon. He's going to want to be with us. Yeah. So he's going to put him in a groomsman. Like we're gonna have to fight over Graydon. I mean, I think it would work whatever, I mean Graydon for- He's gonna wanna be with us. Yeah. So he's gonna be red. Are you gonna put him in a pink dress? No, you're gonna be in Rick Owens. We're wearing Rick Owens. Yeah, no, I don't know.

But- Are you gonna make us buy this? Yeah, it's not gonna be insanely expensive. I'm not spending two grand on a Rick Owens dress. I'm not gonna make you spend two grand. I'm not gonna make you spend two grand. I'm not gonna make you spend two grand. What are you thinking? Like a thousand?

How much did you spend on Emma's dress? I don't know, my mom bought it for me. Mwah, mwah, mwah. Now a big girl on the big thing. Now I'm sure your mom will buy it for you. She's invited to the wedding. No, it's fine. I'm sure I can figure out a wedding situation.

I'm sure I can spend $1,500 on this. I'm sure I'll be able to swing in, sleep comfortably at night. But you guys will be in fucking uniform. All the same dress. We'll make it chic. Yeah. But like, what do you,

I mean, I've talked about this before. Like, do you care that some people have different body types and that maybe it won't look good on other people? No, I feel like we'll find. She doesn't care. I think, I mean, I think all of you guys are beautiful. I don't like strapless. Don't do strapless.

I don't like strapless. It's probably going to be like a halter. Like a sachet kind of thing. Yeah, like a high neck. Like high neck, open back, or a really deep V. I have massive tits. With your tits, you might need a high neck. I would like a deep V.

With you, it lives massive fucking rocks. Your mama would go into a neck. I would like to do it. You have massive fucking rocks. Your mama would go into a stroke. I know. She would be resurrected. Oh, she already did go into a stroke. I'm sorry. May she rest. She would literally come back to life.

Yeah. And she'd be like, but Jordan's grandparents, Jordan's grandpa, we need to hide your knockers from him. I don't like how you just called them knockers. That was very cool. It was cool. That was very uncool of you. You're gonna have to hide your knockers from Jordan's grandpa.

It'd be very uncool if you got a boner at dinner. Oh my God, yeah. What if I fuck Jordan's papa? I mean, he has like a 35 year old girlfriend, so. I love, I think I need an age gap again. That's like my only hesitation with this new guy. He's there's no gap. There's no gap. But like, maybe you could be with him in a few years when he's older. But I don't know. I kind of love him. He's great.

Sorry, I'm just with him. I just like that is exactly what I picture for you. That's why I'm obsessed with it because I'm like oh my god this is literally what I imagined for Halle in like four or five years. Yeah I don't think I'm ready for it. I know maybe in like a few years he could be the perfect person but not yet. Maybe we'll see maybe I'll evolve this summer. Probably not though. Tipsy with gypsy. Halle and Montauk this weekend, I was like telling about like the plan and that, you know, in like three or four years,

I'm gonna move out of the city. And I just saw Hallie get like- She was like kicking me in the stomach. Yeah, she like walked off the boat. She was like, what is she talking about? I was like, why are you talking about this? Leaving the city in three or four years, what the fuck? I was like, why are you talking about this in front of me?

I know. You're going to be so fucking bored in Connecticut. Hi, I'm still going to come and see you. You're not. Yes, I am. Who am I going to fucking hang out with? Me. No, I'm not.

We really don't hang out that much during the week. We hang out maybe twice a week. It's fucking Monday right here. I know. But once or twice a week in the the winter we hang out a lot. I think that's what it is. In the summer, it's less because we're jet setting. We're world travelers.

We're fucking jet setting. Halle was, you were sending me TikToks for some, to Marrakesh, you wanna go to Marrakesh now? I like fun. I think you had a lot of fun in Europe. I loved Europe. Yeah. I loved Europe and I loved our friends. We're doing a bachelorette trip next summer, Euro, with our friends.

It's going to be really fun. Are you going to make- We're going to go longer. So like, what's that going to look like for you? I think some of my friends, like, it's going to be an expensive trip. So I think the ones that- You're like, no brokeies allowed. I think it'll be like wedding party and then I think it'll be a few additional friends

that are invited. And it's just like us going to Europe then I think it'll be a few additional friends that are invited. And it's just like us going to Europe together for a little bit longer than this one. Maybe like 10 days. Can Alex, Matt, Lauren come again? Of course. And Max Kim. Of course.

I hope they come. I don't want to go to Europe without them. I know. It's so special. It was so special. It was the best time ever. Jordan texted me yesterday. He goes, remember last Sunday we were at Scorpio's. I was like why would you text me

this right now? Oh it's so depressing. It's horrible. It feels like so long ago already. I know. Isn't that weird? We're gonna have a lot of fun. We have Nantucket this weekend. Then we have Nantucket again for like 10 days. And then we're free as a bird as of so far in August. So who knows what we're gonna end up doing in August? Maybe we'll like jet set to St. Tropez. My fucking passport's working again. I mean, I just had to cancel a trip to Canada because they literally won't let me into the country.

They said no decline, get back, get back. Canada does not want your tits. Canada does not want my fake tits. Like do I look like a threat? People think that there's like cocaine stuffed in these fucking knockers. They think I'm like smuggling across the borders, which is not true.

I'm just bringing vibes in my crossed eyes. Vibes in my crossed eyes. Vibes in crossed eyes. Vibes in crossed eyes. That should be merch. Text word. Vibes and cross eyes. Vibes and cross eyes. That should be merch. Text word. Vibes and cross eyes. I love that. There's a beautiful ring to that.

That's gonna be the name of this fucking episode I already know. I like almost invited that fucking guy over last night. You should have. I know but I'm like scared to have him in my space. Right now I'm like triggered from the last guy. Have you been texting with him? A little, but I'm not like a big texter. No, you're not.

And I still don't know how I feel. If I like him, he will get a text. He will get lots of texts. I think we actually should go on a double date and I think you'll know if you like him. Like, I don't think you know if you like him. Yeah, like we were in a group, you know? Like I think when you're in like a smaller setting.

What should I wear? Where should we go? I'm actually gonna become a stylist because I know the same shit that they do but you're paying them so much money. And I just do it for fun. I literally, you saw me, I wake up and I shop. I think I need therapy.

I know. Like I have no money because I spend all my money shopping. You're a good curator. You see a vision. I'm like bad at like putting pieces together and I buy like really nice pieces and then don't know how to wear them. Remember when I made you that one?

I got PowerPoint for the Miami trip and then you went to Danny and Alex and like they basically kind of put similar pieces together. Yeah, I love Danny and Alex's style. Yeah, I love their style. I love their style. Ugh, it's like so baggy. Danny and Alex fucking love you. It's just like so cool. It's like so baggy. Danny and Alex fucking love you.

It's just so cool. It's like so cool. So cool. Like when we went to Aspen with them. Yeah. Oh my God. It's fucking sick. I felt like inferior.

Like when I, they like don't, I lost confidence around them. Because they were so cool. You know what I like that they do? And they have really beautiful hair. They, oh my God, such beautiful hair. Their hair is insane. I was like, holy shit.

I was like, it's silky smooth. Like, what do you put in that? It's perfect. And as a bald woman, I got really jealous. It's so perfect, like their hair. And what I like about them is like, I, in my mind, like, okay, I'm going someplace. Like, I have to like curate my outfits to the place.

They're like, we're gonna style ourselves the way that we'd like, like no matter where we go. Like an aspen, like they were wearing like. I would love to like see, they're like, we're gonna style ourselves the way that we'd like, like no matter where we go. Like an Aspen, like they were wearing like. I would love to like see what they would like pick out for me for like a Nantucket weekend. Yeah, I would actually too. Maybe we'll follow up with them on that. This is a beautiful episode.

Love you so much. We've been yapping our fucking asses off for hours now. We have so much to go about. And I could keep going. I could keep and we might could keep, and we might. But for now, no. For now, do not come. For now, I will not come.

And I love you all and I love you. And as always, you can watch me on YouTube, like, subscribe, tell your friends. Tell your friends about this fucking show and say, hey, you know what friend I'm listening to this really amazing podcast and I love it so fucking much and this girl is really silly goose and she is really silly Goose friends and they're just like us Agreed, you know, yeah, I think you should do that

I think that's everyone's homework for the week is tell your friends about this fucking show and like, and say nice things because people are really mean to me online. But anyways, love you all and bye. Bye. Besos.