Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - I'm lowkey avoidant & highkey motherly

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

Hallie is back in LA and sharing all the Extra Dirty lore—from her surprising motherly instincts to the logistics of hosting a man for a hookup (yes, entertaining dumb men is a skill). She spills on her childhood nickname “Headwound Hallie,” earned from being a perpetually tipping-over toddler, and dishes on if she has ever shed tears over a man... okay, who hasn't at least once? Then, Hallie gets real about her avoidant-dismissive attachment style, how it fuels her insecurities in relationships, and why she’s drawn to men who ignite her toxic side. Plus, she answers all your burning questions: craziest place she’s had sex, thoughts on “it’s not you, it’s me,” how to enjoy being on top, the best country for dick, and more! Tie up your robe, pop the champagne, and follow @extradirty on socials to follow along with all the silliness! Remember to also leave a review and subscribe to keep the chaos coming. Love you!

Favorite country dickwise. We're having a little talk. Okay guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay guys, welcome back to Extra Dirty. It's me, your host, Halle Batchelder here in LA.

I just made a quick like impulsive pit stop to LA. I thought, I looked at the temperatures in New York City and I was like, you know what, fuck that shit, I'm not going back. I don't know what's going on over there, but it's like negative 20 degrees out. And I was like, you know what, I'm out here in the West Coast. I got people to see out here as well. And my connecting flight was in LA. So I was like, you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna see my boyfriends that I have in the West Coast. And that is why I'm here essentially. But also for like work stuff

and obviously I'm filming the podcast today. So it's been productive in more ways than one. I thought we'd like start off this episode with like a little bit of a champagne pop. I am in a hotel right now alone. There is a two camera setup. I have a producer behind me. I have a light going over here. This man walks in

with the champagne. He sees the camera set up. The first thing that crossed this man's mind was probably that I was an OF girl. Because like, why is there like why is he bringing a bottle champagne? It's noon right now I'm filming. It looks like the most such shit ever. And I was like, I promise like I'm not filming like a casting couch or like, this is not like porn, I promise. And I don't think he believed me at all. I'm also wearing a robe. So it just like looked very sus, like the cameras are facing the bed. But let's pop the champagne and then we'll get into it.

Wait. That was not bad at all. That got me going. That sound really just gets me going. Okay. May I have an Oracle glass of champagne oka? Oh my god. Just bossy it all over the place. Oh shit.

Okay, what are we getting into today? I want to talk about why I'm here very quickly. Because I typically only have boys, old men, or boys that think they're men back in New York. But I have a couple out here. I will say LA men are prettier to look at. New York men are like stressed. LA men are just like, they're just riding the wave. They're chilling. They're like posh. They're surfing. They're going to Air One and they seem like healthier. They have like a healthy glow going on in their face. New York is like those men need Botox. I'm not even kidding. And they look stressed the fuck out and they're graying at the age of 25. Anyways, there was a couple guys, there was only two. I make it sound like there's a whole like fleet. No, there was a

couple guys that I kind of had an interest in, but they're not typically my type. One of them's like a struggling One of them's like a struggling artist Like a singer. He sings I think but like he has tattoos like head to toe He's like the antithesis of my type. I think he has like the tattoo anarchy across the stomach I'm not even kidding like he's like not my type at all. But there's something about a man with tattoos that makes me feel like they can take some pain, whether that's emotionally or like, you know, physically, like that man can like, he's a man if he can take some pain from a needle. Like he has so many tattoos like had to show, But like not physically my type because I don't know if I could really bring a man that's a struggling artist, singer,

covered in tattoos, head to toe. I don't think, I don't know how my parents would feel about that. Specifically my dad, I wonder what they would have to talk about. But he's a nice guy. He's nice and kindness is important to me as we all know. And then we have another one. He's a struggling DJ and he is beautiful, but almost like too beautiful. Like he is gorgeous and glowing, but he's also like a struggling DJ. In these careers for both of these men, I see no longevity in it's not typically the career path I'm most attracted to in a man. Although like, let's flip that and I don't think my career path right now talking about dick on a podcast every week is probably what's most sought after as a career path for a woman

that most guys are into. But you know what, fuck it. But anyways, he's a struggling DJ. He's beautiful. He kind of looks like Jacob Lourde in a way, but like his skin looks softer than mine, which makes me like a little bit question. I don't know. Like also like I'm here just for fun

and none of this shit's going anywhere, but I did link up with one of these men last night for a drink. Didn't do much, but it was late. And there's, I have one night left here and that'll probably be the kicker. We'll see what happens later today and I will let you guys know next week. Do you think there's a correlation between men in LA who get a lot of tattoos and get

Botox because they can handle the needles? Well, when I say men handling the needles, I'm not referring to Botox. I'm referring to tattoos. Those are very different types of taking a needle in a man. I'm not against men getting Botox though at all. I like them for it. If I mean, guys especially, I feel like they get those fine lines right here, like the deep ones. So like I'm all for a man getting a little Botox if they need it. Like why the fuck not?

Pop off, King. If you were with one of these struggling guys and he asked you to pay for his botox, would that give you the egg? If I was with one of these guys and they asked me, if a guy asked me to pay for anything, I would get the egg or split the bill. I don't believe in that.

Like who really does believe in that? That would turn me off right away. I know there's like progressive movements being like men and women should be on equal, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's more of just like the men should be paying and you can't convince me otherwise. Like we have to give fucking birth.

They at least they can front the bill at the end of the day. Like we have to shove a brick out of our fucking pussy when we get like give births. Like why not? They should front the bill for most things. Also pushing presents, I believe in. When I give birth, I will be expecting a pushing present from whoever knocked me the fuck up, even if we're not together. I want a pushing present, sparkly one.

For those of you who don't know what a pushing present is, and I don't either, I've never had to push, a pushing present is basically a present you get when you give birth. So like your significant other, whoever knocks you up or is there with you while you're knocked up, they basically get you a gift for going through the pain of pushing a child out of your snatch.

Does giving birth scare you? Like not really. I like don't like think about the future at all. I like don't think about marriage. I don't think about like having children. I don't even think about like what I'm doing tomorrow. Really, I'm not like a big planner ahead. But when I think about like birth in general,

when I was a kid, I always thought there would be advancements in that kind of technology. Like when I was nine, I remember thinking like, oh when I have birth like a million years from now, like I'm barely gonna have to do it. I won't feel it. Which I guess is kind of the case, but like I feel like giving birth can't be that bad. There's so many drugs out there. Like don't they like knock you the fuck out from the waist down? I'm less worried about the process of giving birth. I'm more worried about like a loose snatch after that.

Because then like your shit's like rearranged furniture in there. It doesn't feel the same for anyone. So I'll probably get a c-section and then a tummy tuck. Yeah, an excuse to get a tummy tuck through a c-section. Because I feel like I'm not going to get anything done to my body until after I have children. If I do, one day. I'm like not even thinking about that. People always ask me like, how many kids do you want?

Do you want to have kids? Because I feel like I give off this vibe where people don't see me as motherly. I'm fucking motherly as fuck. Like I'll mother the shit out of anyone. People like I'm so good with kids. I talked about this in the last episode. I am great with kids. Horrible with dogs.

And that's because my parents, we grew up in the city, like we never had a dog. My dad is like OCD type A, Capricorn, didn't want fur anywhere in the house. Also, there was four kids. So I never had a dog. So I don't communicate with a fucking dog. When a dog's like barking, I'm like, translate someone. Someone translate this for me now. I'm honestly shocked AI hasn't figured that out yet. That would be really cool. You could just translate a dog. But anyways, what else was I talking about with giving birth? Were you c-sectioned or vaged out?

I was vaged out. I was not c-sectioned. My mom, oh funny story though, my mom had four kids. She had all four kids under the age of six. So that means she had four toddlers essentially with the oldest being five years old. Me and my sister are 15 months apart. The rest are like 17 and then 18 months apart. Like we're very close in age, but she just wanted to pop those suckers out as quickly

as she could and get it over with. So she was basically pregnant for fucking six years. When you give birth, I'm told you get an epidural, which basically puts your legs out. You don't feel the birth. It's not as bad. When she gave birth to me, all 10 pounds of me the epidural didn't take the drugs did not take so she had me naturally she had me snatch really from her snatch yeah which means that she felt every ounce of pain she said she was passing out coming back in passing out coming back I was 10 fucking pounds imagine a 10 fucking pound brick with a beating heart coming out of your fucking birth canal.

I can't even imagine it. And from that point in time, I have literally quite literally been a pain in the ass to them. It started from birth. But yeah, I was a perfect baby though, they said. I was like, they said I was like 10 out of 10 on the hell scale, which is ironic

because that's definitely not the case anymore. But they said I was a 10 out of 10, perfect baby, flying colors, came out sucking my thumb. It's probably foreshadowing, asking for the vape. I don't even know. But I was a perfect baby until I was two. And then shit got crazy. They called me the exorcist.

And they also called me head wound Hallie because I would always be falling because they didn't know I was cross-eyed yet. So my equilibrium was all fucked up. So I'd be like walking around just like tipping over and not even doing like hard tasks. I would just tip the fuck over. And they were like, what's wrong with this bitch?

I'll be throwing up everywhere. Like literally compared me to the exorcist because I would cry scream and basically they said my head would be like spinning around like the exorcist just vomiting all over the walls because they didn't know I was like sick from being cross-eyed because that shit can make you dizzy okay when you're a little cross-eyed that shit makes you dizzy as fuck imagine after a couple bevery knows when you're out and I go a little cross-eyed, I'm like a little nauseous too. You feel car sick. It's not the vibes.

Anyways, one day I'll be a great mom and hopefully they won't find this podcast because then I'll have to explain a lot of things to them. But honestly, this is like a, we can, it's sexual education podcast. They'll figure out instead of having the birds and beads conversation, maybe they can just like watch a few episodes of extra dirty and figure it out for themselves. So what else have I been doing while I was in LA? Yesterday, I went on a podcast, another beautiful boy

that is signed with Unwell, Owen Thiel. He is the most amazing, most talented man ever. I always get a little innately very nervous before going on any podcast, even my own. I think I just get a little flustered. I overthink. I'm a perfectionist. I have a little bit of OCD and I just want to execute, execute, execute. I want it to be perfect all the time.

Owen, I walk in. He has the most magical energy ever. He's just so talented, so smart, and I could have talked to him for probably four hours. It went by like so quickly. He was firing off questions. He wasn't even reading anything and I was like, I was so impressed. It was like amazing and he's such a calming force. So we did that yesterday and I thought that was I was so impressed. It was like amazing. And he's such a calming force. So we did that yesterday. And I thought that was really, really fun. His podcast is amazing. If you haven't checked that out yet in your dreams, it's hilarious. He is fucking hysterical.

Let's do a drink break. And then let's go on to the next topic, guys. We have a lot I hear the ocean. I want to talk about the fact that I might be like having a guy over later after my dinner. And I feel like people don't because I was going to have the same guy over last night. We ended up just grabbing a drink and then I practiced this thing called self control and free will. Wait is it free will or willpower? Either or you know I was practicing the chastity bow because you know what I kind of want to talk about instead of entertaining a man. I like forget because I don't really have that many men like plan to like link up situation in New York. I usually go out New, meet up with a guy out and then I kind of bring him back to my abode or go to theirs. But I never like am in where I like,

I rarely since college probably I've been like in my apartment or in my dorm room being like, okay, a man's coming over. How do I prepare? Because I feel like we forget about like all the little things that go into preparing for a man to come over. So last night, I was kind of stressed out. And I was between sober and not sober. But then I was like, OK, I don't really know this guy that well. So I feel like I should drink a little bit more. And then it's just an awkward dance.

I was playing with this man over text. He was like, well, do you wanna come meet me out for a little, and this is like way before we were just planning on getting a drinks. And I was like, I don't, like he was with his friends. I don't know this area that well. So like, I don't really wanna go meet up with you and your friends.

I feel like, like I haven't even slept this man yet. I'm not meeting your fucking friends, no offense. But then you have to like go into like the prep. And the prep is, you know, making sure the room smells like a beautiful summer day, summer breeze. You have to make sure every hair follicle is gone from your body. You have to make sure you're like tipsy enough,

but not too tipsy where you're cross-eyed and throwing up on this man's cock. You have to make sure you even are in the mood to entertain, which is what it came down to at the end of the day. I was like, am I in the mood to like converse with this man? Because I felt pretty nonverbal after my Tahoe weekend. I was like, can I converse with this man right now? Can I entertain? Can I host? How much talking am I going to have to do before he like, before I can like sit on his face? You know? I don't want to do much talking. Like get to know yous, like the blah blah blahs, like

I mean he's a beautiful man but like I'm not inviting you over to talk you know at the end of the day so I was wondering like how much effort I would have to put into like having a conversation. This is one of the reasons why I'm so bad at dating in general, not just like linking with like sneaky links, whatever. It's because I hate the like, back and forward of conversation a lot of the time. I'm like, can we just get to the good part? You know? Is that bad to say? That's just my truth. Talking's hard sometimes. And sometimes these men are fucking dumb.

I experienced this a couple weeks ago when I hooked up with the dumbest man alive. He was like, me come to you house and we, he sounded like a caveman. Me come to you house and me insert penis in you. He sounded like he lived in the caveman times. And I was like, you're ruining it for me because you're fucking beautiful and gorgeous but like let's talking please that's gonna be at my out for 2024 is talking. One of the reasons why I feel like I don't love conversing with men is because I feel like it just like allows you to become vulnerable in some sort like some conversations and I feel like it just like allows you to become vulnerable in some sort

like some conversations and I feel like as a single person I've become so good at um being dismissive of romantic encounters really anything romantic kind of freaks me out I feel like that has to do something with like my attachment style. I feel like in my single life, I am very like avoidant dismissive. I like play down the importance of anything romantic in a relationship. I am very much like on my own. I can part of analyze negative emotions that have to do with the man. I kind of keep pushing.

So if anyone wrongs me, if a man wrongs me, I kind of just put it in a box and then I keep moving forward. That's just how I deal with it. I don't necessarily face things head on and like mourn, I guess, in a proper way, but it works for me. I feel like I put it in a box and then you kind of just forget about the fucking box and you just go into the next victim, I guess. But it's weird because when I am in a relationship with a guy, which I avoid, but like when I like a guy, I feel like it always highlights my insecurities. It's like never a good thing. I don't feel like my most confident, strongest, self-secure self when

I am in a relationship. I'm always waiting for the other ball to drop. I am waiting for someone to cheat. I am waiting for... Usually it's cheating. I always feel like someone's going to cheat on me. And I feel like when you go into a relationship and you're insecure or you're dealing with things of, and you haven't practiced self-love with yourself yet, and you go into a relationship and you expect that your partner is going to solve all those problems, that's never the case. It will highlight those insecurities to the max.

You will always be fearful. You will always just be second guessing yourself. And I feel like in a relationship, your partner should not be supplementing what you already have in your heart. It should be a cherry on top of an already well rounded, secure sense with yourself. You can't rely on anyone else to make you feel like a whole person because that's when you get fucked. I mean that's how it happens to me. I always get fucked for that reason. I feel like a bigger baddie when I'm single because I just ice everyone out but I don't know if that will work for me in the long run. I will have to feel things eventually one day but I go after these men that I know will ignite a flame in my ass and piss me off because

I also love to fight. So I think that attachment style is avoidant attachment. But like, I'm not a fucking psychologist. I just know that when I'm in a relationship, I always fear someone's gonna cheat on me or that I'm gonna cheat or someone's gonna fight. But like, honestly, a lot of the fighting or someone's gonna fight. But like honestly, a lot of the fighting entertains me a lot, but like that's not good. No one should live by that. Like I should get entertainment out of like other things and not just picking

fights with my partner. But honestly, I feel like I do that because it spices things up and then we have great like makeup sex and then like it like is a whole cycle and I enjoy that which for any man's safety right now I feel like I should not be getting into a relationship because I'm toxic. I know that about myself. Self-awareness is always in the room and I'm toxic because I still have insecurities I am ironing out as a person and until like I get those sorted and I can actually be like you know what I feel like my frontal lobe needs to develop just a tad bit more for me to not get excitement out of argument or out of just like, it's almost like thrill seeking. It's like

skydiving almost, you know, you get like an adrenaline rush from these like highs and lows or these ebbs and flows of a non-stable relationship. When in a relationship, you should just like be steady. It should be like plateau. It should be easy. It should be simple. It should be, they should be your biggest fan and not like your biggest hater.

And I'm not saying I'm perfect either. Like I would, I've been a hater in relationships too. Like I'm definitely far from perfect as well. But I feel like that's kind of the point of what I'm saying here. The guy I was in relationship with in high school, I feel like this is a perfect example of like how I'm also kind of the problem.

He wasn't, we were not having sex at all. So in my head, I would make fights with this man hoping that we'd have like makeup sex. And like that didn't work and then I would always accuse him of like kind of cheating on me and then I would go out and like kind of be sketchy on him because and I feel like I feel like I was probably my most insecure self probably my last two years of college in my defense I'm a pretty sexually driven person and I'm pretty open about like sex and whatever and I make that known and it's been like the downfall of a couple of my situation

shifts because I'm like so sex forward. Sex is a very important part to me of any relationship. It's like how I like show love and communicate. It's like my language, not even my love language. It's like what's for dinner and we'll fuck and you'll know. You know, it's just how I talk Relationships and this man would not sleep with me Because he was like training for something. I don't even know what he was training for but unless it's like war like I don't give a fuck Like I don't you're like a

You he was like a d3 athlete. Maybe he was training for a marathon. I don't know, but he thought like not finishing Helped him what made him stronger. That just sounds fucking ridiculous, even in saying that out loud. But yeah, I guess like the moral of the story is I will not be getting into any other serious relationship until I fix, I guess, self-esteem issues. The thing is, what's crazy is because I have a big ego,

but low self-esteem, It's like a facade almost. I want to say it was all in my head. Like, that was just me being fucking crazy. But a woman's fucking instinct is never wrong. Every relationship I've ever been in, every situationship I've ever been in, a man has proved me right. I'm always right. Like I guess I'm anxious.

Thank fucking God I was anxious. These men were cheating. And these men were gaslighting me and love bombing me. The love bombing is crazy. I experienced love bombing not too long ago, and I had never experienced love bombing before like this. This man would call me two hours a night being like, oh my God, can't wait to see you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then I finally saw him, finally slept with him, and then he just like discarded me, and I was so confused. I felt like Bam fucking Boozled. I was Bam Boozled. I felt like I was punked. It was craziness. And then just that sense of rejection, even in the strongest bitch,

I feel like rejection sucks. I mean mean no one likes rejection in any form. Even when I like I'm trying to get into a club and you don't get in you you know like any sense of rejection is not fun. You start self-reflecting and thinking what did I do wrong? The club was closed though I don't know. But I just any sense of rejection can make you like think about like the things you did wrong instead of like thinking about like maybe there's something wrong in the other person. And we can apply this to men as well. If a man rejects you, the club was closed. It's not because of something you did wrong. The club was just

simply closed. And I feel like if you live with that mindset, then you're fine. Also a mindset I live by with men that reject me, I'm like, okay, they're gay. Okay, they're just gay. Like literally, they're probably gay or the club is closed. I wanted to like comment on, I get this question a lot, if a man has ever made me cry. Because like picture me crying over a man. It's so embarrassing. Um yeah and that's okay. Cry and move on. But then I think about it and I'm like I'm crying over a man that's so fucking disgusting and so embarrassing.

Whenever I cry over a man I look myself in the mirror of tears like I feel like I'm in a music video when this happens. I look at myself in the mirror of tears rolling down my face over a man, I look myself in the mirror of tears, like I feel like I'm in a music video when this happens. I look at myself in the mirror of tears rolling down my face over a man that just like pissed me the fuck off. I rarely cry over a man over like sadness and loss. I cry over a man because of frustration and anger in my OCD tendencies and the lack of control over this man. It makes me frustrated Um, because I feel like I just I mean that's a bad thing You don't want to control anyone but like I do I think about me crying over a man and I honestly like want to fucking vomit Like picture me sobbing over a man

I just gave myself the egg like that's so embarrassing I look myself in the mirror and i'm like you need to sack the fuck up and stop being a little fucking bitch who are you who are you quit while you're ahead stopping a fucking pussy because then like would this man cry over me ask yourself that would this man cry over me because he probably wouldn't and he's probably gay. So like push along. Would you say you have control issues? Would I say I have control issues? Yeah, I have OCD. I'm perfectionist. I like it's a problem in every realm of my life. Like my control issues for men are more like

less me controlling them and just me being like, how are you this fucking stupid? How do you act this way? Like how were you raised? Who raised you to be acting like this? I just like want to control about how they go about certain situations. Like I want to teach them not to do that. I want to mother them and be like, what the fuck are you doing with this shit? And then you're gonna get stressed and then you're gonna get wrinkles and then you're gonna have more Botox

and then it's gonna be more money out of your pocket. And then you're fucked. I always think about moments in my life where I'm like, oh my God, my life is fucking over. Like your first breakup, your first heartache, your first rejection letter, your first, you didn't get into college, your first like, you didn't get the job, whatever. Life literally goes on. Life will always go on.

I don't even remember like my biggest spirals in life. I mean, I could if I thought hard about it enough, I could probably pinpoint them. But maybe let's not do that. But I life literally truly goes on. Life wouldn't be life if you didn't have bad fucking moments of sadness rejection heartache anger pain. It makes you appreciate the beautiful things in life the things you should be grateful for the things God's given you and things you don't think about every day that make life beautiful. I feel like those kind of get slept on. People look at the glass half empty a lot. And that was also one of my goals of 2025. It's like, be more positive. Look at the glass half full.

You know, take a negative situation and like turn it into a positive one. Even through breakups and even through harsh life experiences, you will always learn something. Even if it's the shittiest fucking shit ever. Like I think about my past relationships and I'm like, okay, what did we learn here? And then you learn and then you apply that to the next guy

or the next situation. It took me a lot of guys to figure out how to not let men literally walk all over me. You know, like there was this one guy that I was hooking up with in Miami. He was in Miami, he was like North Florida. I felt like a fucking rag doll because I would literally do anything for this man. Any nude he ever wanted, anything.

I was sending that shit and I was sending it very quickly. And if I didn't have wifi, I would be Ubering home to get wifi so I could send that fucking photo. I would be Ubering home to get wifi so I could send that fucking photo. I would be Ubering up there on my own dime, paying for a hotel on my own dime. He barely would say goodbye, and then I would like Uber back down.

I would do that every fucking weekend. The amount of money I spent just like getting dicked down for this one guy was actually insane. But that was like so many years ago, so it doesn't even count. Now I don't think I would do that, unless it was like really good dick, then I would probably still do that.

Like if a guy texts me right now and he was like in Las Vegas and I was like really obsessed with him, I would book flight, hands down. I would be there. I would fucking be there right now. All right, let's do a quick little drink break and then let's get into some of your guys' questions.

You guys are fucking crazy. This is my favorite part of the podcast is these questions and answering them and giving my takes on them. You guys are fucking hilarious. It's like the best part of it. So if you ever want to DM me anything, a question, I do my best to read all the DMs, whether that's on the Extra Dirty account or on my personal account. I will get to them. I promise. Do you prefer circumcised or uncircumcised?

I mean, I've done both. I don't, people really mind on like uncircumcised dicks. Like people like get like scared by them. They look like anteaters a little bit, but like most of the, most of the world has uncircumcised dick. And honestly, I think it adds a little bit of like friction that like you don't get with a circumcised dick. But I will say, I will need them to shower prior to any sucking. That's important.

I mean, there was this British guy I was fucking, like and he had an uncircumcised dick. They're kind of like intimidating because I'm not used to them. Obviously it was massive. It was like a sweet It's like a tootsie roll like it's like harder on the outside and like sweet and beautiful on the inside So I like really enjoyed that and him. He was a British guy. He was he was fucking hot. I would do that again I don't really get put off by them like a lot of people do But I feel like that's an American thing to get kind of put off by them. But I feel like they add a little like layer of fun if you're catching my drift. I say pop off on circumcised kings. Call me.

Halle, the girls need advice on being on top. Is it purely just a confidence thing? Just how? No, being on top is not a confidence thing because I remember in my most insecure days, I could still figure out being on top. Being on top is all about angles. You wanna be at a 45 degree angle, kind of like six inches away from their face

and you have to be like emotion of the ocean. You wanna like be going like front to back, front to back instead of up and down, up and down. I don't, I mean, up and down is just kind of like a party trick, I feel like. It's just like for silly goose, but you're not gonna feel anything. I mean, you will, but like not in the good parts.

You have to like lean forward to finish on top. Lean fully forward and if you're feeling insecure whatever just like cover their face. But you shouldn't feel insecure. That's where you should feel most fucking confident. All your shits bouncing around. They're having the best time with their fucking lives. Okay that's like their best view of your tits. So just think about that. They're probably not even thinking about the things that you're insecure about. I used to think this because when I'm on top, I was like, Oh my God, am I like, are things sitting weird? But trust me, they're not paying attention to how anything's sitting.

And you should just focus on finishing because that's the easiest position to finish in is on top. I could finish in like 10 seconds on top and then just keep going and you'll keep finishing it so I should text him. All that guys are worried about is not finishing too quickly and they're probably focused on like what their dick feels like because men are selfish bastards. So just use them as a fucking dildo that's like that has a heartbeat and just ride that shit into the sunset and don't look back and honestly be

selfish. Men are so selfish when they fuck us. Like think about it. That's your one position where you can be selfish as fuck and they should like be okay with it. Whatever. Favorite country dick wise? Probably Germany. You know, obviously America, England, anywhere in Europe. I love European dick. But you know, goal of mine is to experience all the dicks in all the countries. Not all the countries that would be fucking insane body count.

But you get what you get my drift. I wonder what Alaskan dick is like. If it's like a dysapopsicle. A little shriveled. You think shriveled? Or like a glacier. My ex who had erectile dysfunction reached out to me. I think he's healed now, should I? How do we know he's healed? Also, he's your ex. Your ex should not have erectile dysfunction. That's grounds to break up with a man. I feel like I don't know how old this girl who DMing me is. I'm zooming in. She looks quite young, very beautiful. Erectile dysfunction at that age is not normal. And maybe we should peel back those onion layers a little bit. But I stopped reading at my ex.

No, you should not go back to him, especially if his dick won't work. There's so much dick out there. People forgot this. Also remember this. When you're going through a breakup, think about how much dick there is everywhere. There's, it's raining dick everywhere.

You can get like, please. There's no reason for us to be going back to our exes in 2025. This girl, I'm looking at this girl right now. I don't know if she's gonna be watching this. Beautiful girl, beautiful blonde, beautiful girl. There is no reason for this girl to be caught up on a limp dick ex. Limb dicks are so 2024.

Was he coked out? Cause I get that. That's, that's reasonable. But erectile dysfunction at the age of, I'm guessing 22, 21. That's not a thing. That's not a thing, babe. I'll hold your hand when I see this.

If I could never drink a dirty martini again, you want to know what my go-to cocktail would be. It's a Cosmopolitan. Through and through. A Cosmopolitan is like cranberry based vodka and I think there's a little Cointreau in it. It is phenomenal. It's the most cutesy, Saxon the City-esque drink.

I swear, order that on a date and they'll know you're not fucking around. It's giving wifey actually. That would be my go-to. Honestly, drink orders on dates are so fucking important. You could really, it sets the tone for everything. You could really put your foot down based off your drink order. If you order a dirty martini, based off your drink order. If you order a dirty martini, okay, bold shows you're like a bad bitch. But if you order, which I do sometimes, like a Scotch on the rocks,

or like 1942 on the rocks, or a Mount Gain rum with a twist of lime, those guys will take you fucking seriously. Also keep in mind like what a man orders. Is he ordering a beer? Not that elevated. Is he ordering a scotch and soda? Is he ordering a martini?

If a guy orders a cosmopolitan, he's comfortable with his sexuality, especially on a first date. But we weren't even talking about first dates. My go-to drink order after a Drayden Martini. It's seasonal, but a Cosmo. Summertime, Mount Gantonic with a lime. Lots of limes in there. If a guy ordered a frozen drink, I would say I'm going to the bathroom and he wouldn't hear from me ever again. Imagine you're on a date and he's like, can I have a strawberry daiquiri? I would fucking cunt punch that man under the table because he has a pussy. But also like you could be kind of a serial killer with your drink order.

If you ordered like, I don't know, my mom's drink order kind of scares me, but she's a fucking boss ass bitch. My mom, fun fact, is scarier than my dad to me. My dad barks a lot, but she's a fucking boss ass bitch. My mom fun fact is scarier than my dad to me. My dad barks a lot, but my mom, she's not fucking playing. She is not fucking playing and she'll drink vodka straight up and she'll drink bourbon straight up and she she'll have a bourbon drink at dinner and you just know not to fuck with her. And we don't. Honestly, slay. It's like a slay on her part. But bourbon also is a good move. Bourbon also is great for winter time. Drinks are seasonal. If a man ordered a margarita in the spring or the summer, I would have no issue with it. But the winter, I'd be like, do you need a tampon? What do you think about the phrase, it's not you,

it's me? Is that a red flag? I feel like that's just like such a basic ass response. I feel like guys are pretty simple. Guys aren't complicated beings. They're not programmed to be at all. So if a guy tells you they don't like you, listen. It's simple. If a guy is using these random, like even if they're using all the excuses in the book,

it comes down to, I'm not interested, I'm done, essentially. And I wouldn't dive into more, I feel like guys don't play games. They're not smart enough to play games like us. When I tell a guy, oh, blah, blah, blah, like so many complex chess moves are being played when I fuck with a guy. They're not programmed to do that all the time.

And usually I think it's a simple, I'm not into right at this moment. And if they do come back, it's usually because of boredom or regret. But like you don't ever want to explain to your future children, oh my God, daddy didn't like you at one point. Daddy dumped me, daddy cheated on me.

Like I always think about that too. Think about your future kids. Don't get treated like me. Daddy cheated on me. Blah blah blah. Like I always think about that too. Think about your future kids. Don't get cheated like that from any man. Right? But if you said it's, if a man said, if it's not me, it's you, I would say, I would thumbs up the message. I would say, okay, honestly, respect. You're right to the point.

I honestly wouldn't be mad at that. I kind of like bluntness when it comes to like ending a conversation or a situation. Craziest place I've had sex? When I was 16 years old in the bed of a truck on the side of the highway. The craziest place I've masturbated in was on a porta potty. Yeah, I was jerk. I was also young, but it was in a ruba. It was a nice porta potty. But like, did I really need to like push one out then? No. Would you ever pull out your karate moves on the dick? They come in handy sometimes. I'm not gonna lie. There was this one guy that would always like test me and like I kind of like like rough sex. It's kind of like my

niche. It's like my preferred like roughness with passion. But this man really kind of like he would whack me like across the face, but like consent, like with consent. I want to make that clear. It was with all the consent in the world. He was like, oh, my mouth and like spit it in and like slap me in the face. And he was definitely pushing my limits to see like what I could take and want. Like he was waiting for me to like come up with some sort of safe word. I don't have a safe word.

I don't really see myself in a situation where I really would have a safe word unless unless something like her was uncomfortable. But like this man like waxed me like right across the face. I think this closed and I like ate it so hard and I like quickly just like bounce back and like stared into his soul. And he looked at me and was like, you're the craziest bitch I've ever met my whole entire life. Like the way I just ate his punch was disturbing. But you know the karate moves come in, come in handy sometimes. Also karate made me super flexible. Fun fact, like I'm pretty flexible. I could do splits on the dick if I really wanted to. That sounds painful, but I could do it if I needed to.

I could put my legs behind my head. I won't show you right now, but I can. Anyways guys, I loved all your questions. That was so much fun. This is such a fun like little solo episode. I feel like I don't do these enough and maybe if this episode goes well, we'll do more in the future.

But I just wanna say I love you guys. Thank you for tuning in. Make sure you subscribe to the YouTube channel. I will be on there. And yeah, I love you guys so much. Every week, I love you guys more and more and I appreciate all of you. And yeah, bye. more and more and I appreciate all of you and yeah bye!