Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Made in heaven but I'm no angel

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

Hi cookies, we're back! Production is in the building, hangover headaches are throbbing and the microphones are hot. Fresh off of being the host of an NYC all night rager, Hallie shares plastic surgery head to toe, from hair extensions to fake t*ts, and everything in between. She gives us a rundown of the ex-lovers of the past, including Thing #2, Third String, and more... then she is joined by your faves Graydon + Lauren for a newlyweds game show challenge... what is Hallie's cup size, most used emoji, and hall pass celebrity f*ck?? Tune in to see which freak knows Hallie better... with idioms galore. And remember.... today's episode is all about kindness so follow @extradirty on socials, leave a review, a 5-star rating, and follow the show wherever you get your podcasts. Stay kind!

I almost got kicked out of my own party. I'm not going to the bathroom to do drugs with this girl, which is what he thought I was doing. I fucking wish. I was like, I'm not doing blow in the bathroom. Do you have any, by the way? What happened, little fuck? Okay, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now.

We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Hello you little freaks welcome back to Extra Dirty. Here we are I woke up a little okay I went out last night I was a little hungover this morning um my brain I have like two brain cells like dancing in my head right now they're telling me to go back to bed but i thought it would be better if we sat and went over the night with you guys um i went to this party last night i threw this party last night and i almost got kicked out of my own party for some reason i don't fucking

know like the rule that you can only go two people to a bathroom is such a bullshit rule in my opinion. The little security guy was standing at the door and he was like, one to a room. And I was like, I can't get this fucking corset off to save my life. I need my friend to help me take this off. And he was like, one to a room. I was like, do you want to help me take it off? And he was like, no, I can't do that. I was like, okay, do you want me to piss my fucking pants? And he was like, no. I was like, okay, so two plus two equals four here. I'm not going to the bathroom to do drugs with this girl, which is what he thought I was doing. I fucking wish. I was like, I'm not doing blow in the bathroom.

Do you have any, by the way? But no, that was where, and he was like, I'm getting my manager. I was like, go get your fucking manager. It's my party. But anyways, we resolved it. We kissed. It was cute. And I didn't pee my pants. That was good. I just like, I'm a problem solver. But sometimes I'm like solving my own problems because I am the root of them. If that makes any sense. That made no sense. But yeah, that was my night. I was up till 4am. Domino's might have been in the mix. I woke up and the first sight I saw was that rent was due and there was about a million fucking dipping sauces laying on my kitchen counter. So there's that. You know what? You win some, you fucking lose some. At least it was Friday. So I don't feel that bad about it. If that happened on Tuesday or Wednesday

or Thursday, I mean, I would feel a little more guilty, but like, that's what you're supposed to do on a Friday. I feel like you're supposed to have a hangover on a Saturday. I honestly don't remember the last time I haven't been a little hungover on a Saturday, but you know, I'm still in my twenties. I can get away with this shit. So I don't feel that bad about it. As for prospects at this party last night, there was a couple people there that I've actually slept with. But you know, the thing with me is like after I sleep with a guy, I kind of just like discard them. Like I don't get like emotionally affected by a man I've shared a bed with. I don't know. It just like doesn't affect me. I'm like, okay, we can be friends, whatever. And also for

some reason, I think this is a me problem but I feel like I get the ick right after I get with a guy I guess it's like post nut clarity but like for me and I'm like I don't look at you the same anymore let's talk about getting the ick for a second like there's so I think it's a red flag of mine I look for the ick in a man it's like you know that saying like looking for tits on an ant like I look for the problem and I a man. It's like, you know, that saying like looking for tits on an ant, like I look for the problem and I'll always find one. I'm like Nancy Drew when it comes to discovering a man's flaws. Let me name a couple of my icks. Like some of the ones I can think of right off the top of my head is like a man making a joke and like no one hearing it and like no one

laughing. Flip flops. A man waving down a cab and not getting that cab when they put their height in their dating profile i don't give a fuck if you're six two gym selfies that's the basic one but like that needs to be stopped sometimes when i want to lose feelings for a man i just picture them curdled up on the floor of their shower like picture that like like on like curdled on the floor of their shower, just like rocking back and forth. I picture that to lose feelings. That's actually happened before a bad hairline, which I can't really talk for because my hair is not the best. But they can they can be mad at my hair too. I don't we can be mad at each other's hair. That pisses me off too. Ladies are

gays. I don't think there's any street men watching this podcast but how I would avoid giving a girl the ick I mean I really think dressing well is so important that means a lot to me and I feel like a girlfriend can help with that like a girlfriend can the girlfriend effect you can make a man dress well I've seen it happen time and time again with my friends that have boyfriends obviously I don't don't have a boyfriend, but if I did, I would show them how to fucking dress. Be funny. I think being funny is so underrated. I would rather an eight that has the best sense of humor ever rather than a 10 supermodel stud GQ-esque man that literally is dry as the Sahara desert. If you can't make me laugh, my pussy will stay dry. And that is two plus two equaling four. Thank you. So the other week I was talking about my fake

tits. Honestly, I can't stop talking about my fake tits. It's like one of my favorite personality traits, but like, let's get into the other things that I've gotten done. The procedures, the nipping, the tucking, the needles, like all the things that make me horny. Thank you. Should we just start off top to bottom? Head to toe. Okay, this is going to be fun. Head to toe. Let's start with the hair. The hair is all fake. I have really bad hair. I have very thin hair and I bleach the fuck out of it. I don't help myself in that aspect, but it's like one of those things where like I'm not good to my hair, so I have to continue to be bad to it. I have to add the extensions. I refuse to walk around like a naked mole rat. I'm okay with not having the best hair. Like no bitch is ever going to be

like, oh my God, is that Rapunzel frolicking through the streets of New York City? I will never get mistaken for Rapunzel and I'm okay with that. I will die on that sword. That's okay. Hair, fake, bleached, all the things. I'm a natural brunette, fun fact. But I feel like brunette's like more of like for my relationship era and I have to be blonde when I'm in my single era. It jives better with my single activity. The girls that gotta get it. The girls that don't, go bleach your hair. Anyways, let's go to the eyebrows. I have really blonde eyebrows, which is shocking because I have brown hair, as we just talked about. So I have to get them tinted and threaded. That's not that big of a deal. That's probably like a very tiny thing I got done.

Botox, I get everywhere. I've gotten filler in my cheeks. I've gotten filler in my lips, which you guys always remind me online. Duck lips, fish mouth, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't fucking care. I'm gonna keep doing it too. Thank you. I've gotten Botox all over my forehead and then Botox in my jaw. My jaw is real, which a lot of people don't believe. I don't know why I'd lie about everything else and just lie about my jaw. That makes no sense. What else? We've covered the mouth. Oh, my teeth. The front 10 are fake. I had a really bad nail biting problem, which I fixed, obviously. I have a great little set of nails right now. So I have my front 10 teeth are fake. I honestly think she did such a good job. A lot of people on the, like veneers are difficult people are gonna come at you for them out of all the things I've gotten done like all of the things my veneers is probably what I got attacked most

for online people get really fucking fussy about veneers it seems like projection if anything else all right sorry that came off so aggressive but I mean it with my full fake chest um but anyways the last like most major surgery I think I've ever gotten is my tits. And I got my tits like two years ago. I just felt like my, they looked sad. I don't know how to put it. Like I'm not explaining like why I got them done. I just, honestly, I didn't need them. I just really wanted them. And honestly, I find anesthesia, like going under is like so fun to me. It's like, it's like a little roller coaster and you wake up with like a fake rack. It's like, yeah, sign me up. Like I want to do that. Um, but honestly I thought that was going to be the hardest surgery to recover from.

They're cutting you open and they're going underneath the muscle. You know, I woke up on that cutting board or whatever it's called the doctor's chair. I call it a cutting board because it literally was one. And I thought I was going to be out for the's chair. I call it a cutting board because it literally was one. And I thought I was gonna be out for the fucking count. I woke up and I felt fucking great. My mom was in town to take care of me. I went out to the hotel bar at her hotel. We had about 10 espresso martinis each

and I was trying to show everyone my tits. So the next day after that, you know, anesthesia, it has like numbing effects like medicine effects so like I was really in no pain when I woke up but the next day not only did I wake up feeling like I did a hundred million push-ups I was also suffering from a hangover so I don't recommend this is a PSA don't do that because that was diabolical of me and honestly I don't know why my mom like thought that was a good idea either I was trying to show everyone that worked at her hotel my chest I was unwrapping I was unbandaging it was psychotic and I was not only high off

whatever drug medication I was on I was fucking lit on espresso martinis. I was like the Tasmanian devil running around with fake tits. It was amazing. Would I do it again? Yes. I honestly think about wanting to redo my tits because a lot of people think they're real. And this could be a me problem, but I do not like that. I did not go under the knife for nothing. If I'm getting cut open, I want everyone to fucking know about it. I might put it in my bio. I might update my Facebook status. I might tweet about it. I want everyone to know I fake tits. I want them to look a little faker too. They look real. She did that good of a job. So honestly, I've been thinking about it. I might go back under the knife just to feel something. And yeah, that's plastic surgery head to toe with Hallie Batchelder.

Now let's get into the juicy stuff. Let's talk about men or boys or lack thereof. I don't know. Let's get into all of it. Boys, these children running around, breaking our little hearts. I haven't had a boyfriend since I was in college. He sucked. But I've had many situationships since then. And honestly, I think any girl would agree with me on this. A situationship and breaking off a situationship hurts a lot fucking more than an ending of a relationship, in my opinion it's just so there's so much ambiguity no closure were we ever anything in the first place what are we even cutting off that no contact there's just so many there's too much gray area and I fucking hate gray area I'm OCD black and white that's how I. If it's not like this, I get flustered. Okay. But

I've had many situationships, many men that I probably would have dated, but they did not want to date me. They're lost, but like whatever. Anyways, let's go over a few of them. We had thing two who wouldn't fuck me. And I was really annoyed with him and he thought that not having sex and not finishing made him perform better in the gym. I think thing two is gay. I'm not going to lie to you. Then we had third string. Self-explanatory. He was third string athlete. He was a professional athlete, but he was riding the bench and I was riding him, but he just he had a bad hairline whatever we had Peter Pan I was obsessed with Peter Pan the man that never wanted to grow up never will but his pockets were fatter than any pockets I've ever seen they were so deep we would go out to dinner no we'd go

out to drinks this is what one we over like we would go out to drinks and this man would be at the bar and he'd be like do you want a margargarita? And I was like, okay, tahini on the rim. Yes, that's so cute. And then he'd be like, should we just tip a thou? For two drinks. He'd be like, should I just tip a thou? He would tip a thousand dollars everywhere we went. It was the hottest thing ever. Peter Pan called me, I miss you. But like he was trouble, he I will give him this he was always very transparent he would be like I'm sleeping with other girls and I would be like I'm so cool at that I'm a cool girl I'm chill you can do whatever the fuck you want we're not dating like it's totally fine I would sob over this man in in private in silence and then he just stopped talking to me out of nowhere. I like didn't even

have time to tell him that he like gave me chlamydia once. Like he has no idea. Hopefully he got that checked. Anyways, who else? We have Old Spice. Mr. Old Spice. You remember him from the first episode. He, we're still getting over that one. That was a little bit of trauma, but good trauma. Trauma that will build character and a little bit of personality. It adds to the lore. Honestly, every situationship, I've taken a piece from each and every single one of them. It creates the lore. Honestly, I look at every situation and anything in life as a learning lesson, and you learn something from every single one. So I know a lot at this point because we've had a lot of situationships that have just failed, crashed and burned. But you know what? Here we are to tell the story about it. I actually answered this question on Harry's podcast, Boyfriend Material,

and he was like, would you rather get ghosted or rather have a guy type out a paragraph explaining in detail every single fucking reason why they don't want to be with you don't like you what's wrong with you etc and I was honestly like fuck ghost the fucking shit out of me honestly ignorance is bliss I don't need to know why I fucking suck and why you don't want to sleep with me and why I'm not a compatible partner Old Sp Spice did that with me, which kind of threw me off because it was just a blow to the ego. But honestly, someone's got to do it. My ego has gotten a little inflated. I'm not going to lie. But he wrote out like a long paragraph just being like, I don't think we're compatible. This is why X, Y, Z. I think he had an opening statement, three supporting arguments, and then a closing

outro. And I just never replied. I'm not going to lie, that one stung. That one bit me in the ass, but I guess I commend him for the honesty, but there is such thing as too much honesty. I don't need to know everything about me. I don't need to know how other people perceive me sometimes in a negative light. If you have nice things to say about me, blow up my phone. But if you're going to drag me and tell me what's wrong with me and why you don't want to continue things anymore, then like, yeah, just go triggering me. We'll revisit those men on a later date. But for now, Lauren and Graded will be joining us again. I am so excited. So for now, let's just cut the cameras production. I'm going to give you guys a little bit of a water break.

And yes, we'll be right back. You have butterflies going down your arm. You look like an e-boy. It looks like Chrome Hearts. And a barker. It looks like Chrome Hearts. you look like um like an e-boy it looks like chrome hearts and then barker it looks like chrome hearts you look like a fuck boy i think do you have an extra pair of sunglasses you want a pair of sunglasses like i think i'm like blinded i had one drink last night i didn't even take it to the hospital i need you to explain your sensitivity to like you you explain a hangover the bitch had one fucking drink no she'll no she'll send herself to the hospital she's like well she'll be like i shot too no she'll be like i had a mild panic and i felt a little lightheaded hallie it was the craziest thing like i was

nauseous i was like you're not this is normal Hangover symptoms I'm so proud of you though For drinking I know I had one drink and I was You took shots No I took I threw it over my shoulder That was in my kitchen

Oh no I didn't take any here You said let's take shots You actually threw it over your shoulder No I lied I didn't take any here I kept saying You actually threw it over your shoulder? No, I lied. I didn't take any here. I kept saying. You threw a shot over your shoulder at the bar? Yeah.

What if it hit someone? That's their loss. It's a blessing. Did you see the guy that fainted last night? No. Yeah, apparently he fainted. Why? Do you follow up on that maybe?

Wait, why did he faint? There was an ambulance out front. He fainted at your party? And it wasn't for me. What? He fainted at your party or like in the building? Oh yeah. He probably fainted because he saw you and your big tits. No yeah.

Your big milkers made him pass away. Those were out last night. No they were out but your jugs were jugging. I feel like these glasses are making it worse. I'm gonna take them off. We all went out to a party last night. Alley cities were up. I can't think straight.

Lauren never drinks. She drank last night. She's experiencing. She probably thinks she's having a seizure any second now. I'm starting to sweat. These are normal. Normal symptoms from drinking. She's not used to sweat. These are normal symptoms from drinking. She's not used to it.

I have this thing where I psych myself out and I'll tell myself that I'm going to faint. You'll dramatic. You know, it's kind of offensive to people who like really drink like us. And we actually like I could throw up right now. And I'm sweating and I don't feel good. And I'm wearing a pink fucking shirt. Like, I look like a twink. Look at the shirt.

I had to change, so I went into Halle's closet, and this is what I picked. No, like, out of all the sweatshirts I have, that's all I wear is sweatshirts. That's the only, that one caught your eye. What does that say?

Looks like a fucking, what's it called, a cami? Is that what a cami is? Wait, a cami? What does it say? You tell me. It's probably like, bitches go to heaven. No fucking what's it called a cami is that what a cami is wait a cami what does it say you tell me it's probably like bitches go to heaven no what's it say made in heaven ain't no angel what's kit something like that fuck but i'm no angel made in heaven but i'm no angel shit okay the pillow will cover it we greeted great and try to go to the box last night i called it this was like 3 a.m i was like guys i left tell me you know i don't know i'm trying to oh sorry sorry sorry i'm trying to i forgot i forgot there's other people okay okay

go ahead so it was like 2 30 a.m the party's wrapping up it's dying down and i was like i need to go to bed like we've been like we were up all day just doing random things running around up all day usually that's what happens i mean not me but like you usually you're up all day um yeah so i didn't want the party to stop i never want the party to stop unless i'm like hungry which i surprisingly wasn't. Wonder why. So someone was like, we're going to go to the box like we can get in really easily.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I've only ever been to the box before the show starts, before they start like squirting in your face. And I really wanted to see somebody squirt. I really did. Once I went to the box on Halloween, actually. And we were like front row and like apparently that's like the table you don't want to be sitting at because splash zone did you get what?

and they'll like pull you up on stage I remember that one girl we were with was I there? Peter Pan man do you remember? and that girl jumped on me she straddled me she like flew off the stage she flew off the stage into my legs that was crazy but yeah you're not supposed to sit

front row at the box because they will eat you out so and like they're not like cute they're not cute no they like shove dildos in their ears and. Do you want to explain what they do for the show? Because I don't really know. Because like I said, I have never stayed until the show started. Yeah, you're allowed to stay. It's not illegal. It shouldn't be. Do you remember? The box is like a secretive.

It actually used to be secretive. Not as much anymore. I used to go there with James Franco. Yeah. Because I couldn't take pictures. You can't take photos. It's like a burlesque show club. So like there's like two shows throughout the night but like fucked up shit like really really like this

like basically there was like shitting on stage yeah like grosser like they do grosser things than like yeah like one time there's this guy and he like put a tube up his butt and then like he was like circulating water and it was he was basically giving himself a colonic. Through his mouth. Mouth to ass. I'm going to need that link. No like like like it was like a water jug. Going into his ass. Going in and out of his butt like cleaning out his colon.

He was douching. I thought it was like supposed to be like kind of hot. It's not a hot guy. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. He was douching. He was douching. Wait, I thought it was like supposed to be like kind of hot. It's not a hot guy. No. No, some of it's hot. Like there's strippers running around and it's like an interactive. They like go into the crowd. Yeah.

They like motorboat you. They like pull people on stage. There's like two levels. I hear that like Leo like hangs up up top. I'm sure he does. He just gets head from people. I think upstairs is like freakier than downstairs i'm pretty sure it's like it's like no it is yeah like it's like people are having sex up there

wow and then downstairs like because it's kind of more open it's a little safer it depends depends what your yeah definition of safe is yeah anyway we didn't get in. No way. Didn't someone say... I rejected at the door. But didn't someone say... We got rejected at the door. Somebody had a table, but they said like if they leave, they can't go back in even if they have the table to come get us. So I was like, you guys, I'm fucking going home. Do they know who you are?

And then I left and then Hallie was awake. Well, how else were you going to get into my apartment? Oh. Oh, you didn't go? No. Creedon. Oh, also? Yeah, how fucking insane.

I went alone, just me, Margo, and Margo's friend. I'm screaming. And then when I got back here, I told your doorman the wrong unit number. And then he was like so confused, he thought I was like legit trying to rob you. But he still let you out without calling me. He didn't call you? No. He let Danny Zuko out. No, he was on the phone. I didn't have a to rob you. But he still let you out without calling me. He didn't call you? No. He let Danny Zuko out.

No, he was on the phone. I didn't have a word with him. Yeah. I don't remember him calling me. Every time I've been here, they have never called you, I don't think. They just told me to go out. It's very safe here. They call you after they let us out.

They're like, Lauren's on her way. Yeah. Like, what if we're in a fight and you don't want to see me? Oh, Lauren's on her way. Too bad. I'll let them know. Too bad. Don't let Lauren up. We're in a fight and you don't want to see me? Oh, Lauren's on her way. Too bad. I'll let them know. Too bad. Don't let Lauren up.

We're in a fight. What else was funny last night? The North Sea was there. He was looking good. He looked good. His hair was luscious. I introduced him to production. Production was present.

Yeah, he looked good. Production also agreed he was very hot. He was a good, his hair. His hair is so luscious. He's a Jewish man. And Jewish men don't like me is he jewish yeah did you think he was cute i don't think i ever met him bitch did you see a tall man with really luscious hair that tall he was tall i was in i was in heels and he was a lot taller was he one of them dressed in harry potter sweater no oh they were hot all right let's play this game production planned a game for us it's called the newlyweds game i haven't exactly played this yet but

let's see how it goes i'm excited i get the whiteboards i can't wait to win get the whiteboards you little freaks do i write them too no you guys like get to know me game like who knows me best um lauren probably thinks she's gonna win this but you'd be surprised i share a bet a lot with graydon it's true graydon and lauren both have a whiteboard right now and they are ready to go okay let's start easy guys what is my go-to cocktail this should be really easy actually it changes with the season but this could be a lot of things yeah okay well don't make me sound bad it depends what like This should be really easy. Actually, it changes with the season, but. This could be a lot of things.

Yeah. Okay. Well, don't make me sound bad. It depends what like season it is. I do have a seasonal drink, but I do have a go-to drink, but sometimes I get sick of my go-to drink and I'll go back to another drink that I'll get sick of. It's like a whole rotation. Are you ready? Yeah, I got it.

I got it. Okay. One, two, three, go. Go. One, two, three. Oh. Dirty martini. I got it. Okay, one, two, three, go. Go. One, two, three. Dirty martini. Oh, see.

Extra dirty, filthy, daddy-ish vodka martini. She got it right. You fucking bet. That is my order. Or Cosmo. Or Cosmo. Oh my God. You can't pick two.

You cannot pick two. Fuck you, Twink. Fuck you. No, you're right, though. Oh, that felt good. What is my order? what is my order what is my order though when i order it it's an extra dirty filthy daddy issue vodka martini yes and then sometimes you'll mix it up and be like blue cheese stuff worst daddy issues ever martini it doesn't land well with all the uh all the waiters waiters now yeah sometimes they laugh and sometimes they look at her like sometimes they run away sometimes they look at her like. Sometimes they run away. Sometimes they get a new waiter.

And then. Okay. Hangover is kicking in again. Who is my hall pass celebrity fuck? That you haven't fucked. Right? Somebody new? What?

Just guess. This is a tricky one. This is actually hard. I'm trying to think of it, but I think I have one in mind. Wait, wait, wait. So how is this fair if you don't even know it? Wait, wait, I need to think. I need like, hold on.

Production. Wait, I know this. She doesn't even know it. I know it for her. I feel like we just talked about this. I'm just, yeah. Just name someone hot. Okay.

Go. One, two, three. Ed Sheeran. Joe Burrow. What? It's like Diabolical Rated. I think it's Ed Sheeran. Yeah, I'd fuck him.

Joe Burrow. The football player? Yeah. Wait, Michelle, do you know that? He's like a celebrity. Wait, I'm thinking of Nick Bosa. Oh. With those big ass legs.

He might be your hall pass. Yeah, he's your hall pass. Wait, who was it of Nick Bosa. Oh. With those big ass legs. He might be your hall pass. Yeah, he's your hall pass. Wait, who was it? Who were you thinking of? I was thinking like Jacob Elordi, but like I'll fuck him too. Really? Really. Yeah.

Interesting. That's a basic answer. But I'll fuck him too. But I'll fuck him too. Oh, Lauren. I think Lauren has two points. Ed Sheeran was fucking diabolical. No offense.

I'm going to write my points up here. It was a joke. Lauren's writing her points already. Okay. Ready? Okay. What is my red flag? Where do I start?

There's definitely... Oh, wait. Your personal red flag? Yeah. What is my personal red flag? I have a few, actually. Like, not one that you give to guys right like it could be one I give to guys

I'm sure I give a few to men okay wait I don't know I feel like you don't know me anymore Greta I'm not good at games or thinking you don't need to go crazy you can just write one thing okay ready okay one two three k tips

i told you i feel bad but like sometimes they like fall out wait it was way better than my one on the floor over there just came for you mine was not that bad i could have that could have been a lot worse it's way better than my... There's one on the floor over there. I'm not even kidding. Wait, really? It just came for you. Mine was not that bad. I could have... That could have been a lot worse. K-tips were way better than my... Tapings. Tapings. You should have been there for that.

Wait, Holly, do you remember your weave? The wefts. Holly had a weft that wasn't the... Was a different color than her actual hair. It was like gray. It was a canon event. And then she took it off and hung it on her door. Like a robe.

I used to put it in my couch. it was a wreath yeah okay wait let me read mine so yeah what's your points okay so for things that you give out to guys is perry the platypus hat that would that would definitely give you the ick no no no that's a red flag sorry what are we talking about Harry the platypus what the fuck do you mean my hangover just kicked in you know what I'm talking about you're talking about that you answered a completely wrong question

okay but then your red flag is you like to be toxic you like toxicity I thrive in that space you had one guy that you always tried to fight with and he would just call you and be like, what are you doing? Which one was that?

The Peter Pan guy. The old man. The old man. He was just like, shh, child. Hallie would try and fight with him and he'd be like, call her and be like, what are you trying to do here? He would be like, I'm not the fucking one. I'm at work.

I'm working. So I can afford you, bitch. All right. Continue. I'm not the fucking one. I'm at work. I'm working so I can afford you, bitch. All right, continue. I'll give Lauren that one. Fuck. Guys like my kitties. I just can't pull on them. Next question.

Who is the last person I fucked? Okay, can we give him a nickname? Yeah. Or should we just say his name right here? Right now? Wait, I'm trying to think of the last person I fucked. I know. Wait, who'm trying to think of the last person I fucked. I know. Wait, who is it?

Yeah. Oh. Yeah, you're welcome. You're right. Oh, we can't even say that. I like totally forgot about that. Yeah, you're welcome. Point for me.

Fuck you, Lauren. Anyways, cup size. What is my cup size? Great, and you should know this. I feel like you should get this point. What? What was my cup size before I got my boob job and after it's a two-part question done and done you act like i know cup sizes like what yeah that's true imagine graded like f z you're gonna be like milky okay before first and then after okay before, before. Yeah. B.

32B. Oh, was I supposed to put the number? It's okay. It's like a thing that you wouldn't know. Okay, after I put full C. D. It's a D? 32D.

You think? Or a 34C. Definitely a 32D. Hallie, you have some knockers on you. Oh my god, thank you. I'm a D. I want to get mine redone. Yeah, you're insane. I just feel like they look real and it's upsetting no do you think since after last night you're like wait my tits look so good like i want them to look like that forever yeah i just like love when

they're up like that they drop after three months and then they're like real again yeah but like i like when they're up to my chin i'm like they look real but then you can also push them up like that i don't know i just like want surgery again okay anyways um i think um lauren got that one right too even though i say full c i think she's right i'm probably a 32d she knows me better than i do yeah okay what is my most used emoji oh can i draw it out yeah i feel like even production knows my most used emoji all right one two three cartwheel it's just so funny i use that a lot too it just makes everything so unserious getting through my day or the biting of the lip. That's a good one too.

I used to do that one a lot. That one's funny. I do that one too much. I literally send that to my dad. Okay. We both get a point grade in. Yay. Okay.

This is a good one. What age did I lose my virginity? I don't know this. Guess. Like seven. I don't know. Close. I'm too far off. It's a normal age okay one one two three fifteen thirteen what

thirteen lauren who was i fucking at 13 i'm just imagining you being a freshman though and then you're like young for your age i was either 14 or 15 i'll give that great like i'll give that to you great yay what is my average screen time you have to remember i watch a lot of peacock on my phone mine's like really bad okay Okay, ready? Okay. Go. Okay. One, two, three. 12. 18 hours? 18.

Bitch left the whole day. No, I subtracted six for sleeping. That would be if I would be like this every waking moment. But I'm on it like 12 hours a day. Can we look it up? It's 11 hours and eight minutes. Fuck. Oh my God, yay.

One point for Grady 18 i really thought i was convinced i gave you six hours for sleep like i don't even sleep though you don't give me six hours i don't have a nine to five i can sleep till noon if i want to i know but i feel like you don't sleep i don't it's a problem like you're always up. Standing on business. You're working on your personal brand. I'm working on my personal brand. What actress would play me in a cinematic masterpiece? In the sense of like acting or the sense of like that person in real life portraying you? Like who would portray me in a movie?

The best. Obviously. Yeah, that's the question. I misunderstood your question like the actor itself or the character it plays wait what this is not that difficult of a question is it okay i'll just pick who do you think would play hallie in a movie like if you were to cast someone to play me in a movie who would be the best option period it's been a long night for greed you know don't touch my dick okay ready no oh you're like really bad at this game hold on i don't think quick okay well i'm

just gonna take this one lauren yeah fish take take it over i can't think three two one miley cyrus she's a singer she's an excuse me oh wait have you not seen the last song oh wait Hannah Montana yeah oh yeah

people I get that a lot I do get that I get that all the time she could crush it leave just like one tattoo on her maybe two leave the fucking

snake on her arm leave the snake on her arm and she would crush it I love her too I think she should start acting again because I literally forgot about Hannah Montana

until now which is funny because I listen to Hannah Montana every day. You do listen to Hannah Montana. It's in your recently played. Yeah, it's in my Spotify rap. Top two. Hannah fucking Montana. Top two.

What was your favorite song from Hannah Montana? I can't pick one. You can't ask me that. They all mean so much to me. Like from Hannah Montana the movie or like from her album? The soundtracks. Yeah the soundtracks. All of them. Like you'll always find your way back home. That one's a little generic.

I like the ones that people don't really like sing. You've been listening sometimes too because of me. I like See You Again. No See You Again's not from the soundtrack Lauren. like saying like you've been listening sometimes too because of me but like see you again no see you again it's not from the soundtrack lauren i know who is that's miley i'm talking hannah don't offend hannah like that wait who like there is a song i was listening to you should be hannah montana one year if we were a movie i like the like more like all right then pick a fucking song okay let me look it up.

Hold on. Let me look at my library. I don't have a good memory. I love. It's called Love That Let's Go. What'd you say? Love That Let's Go. It's like with Hannah and Billy Ray.

Can you play it for a second? Yeah. It's like a cute, sad. I don't know if it's about somebody dying. Oh my God. I think she's just like going to camp. This is so sad graydon this would make me cry on a day daily which is a fun fact we cannot play that's my

favorite we can't oh because it's licensed look at me remembering thing i understand that okay let's continue what is my favorite sex position You should know this I think you've done it on me I've definitely shown you footage We've practiced on a pillow Oh we were trying to show Ellie in Miami Cause Ellie was like I don't know how to ride dick

So Lauren showed her We put pillows down Me and Holly I was not a part of that You were naked I was recording you doing it i i vividly remember you having a pillow next to me no that was a different time and it wasn't a pillow how'd i do um okay i'm ready actually i have a few

we're cheating no she just looked okay one two three cowgirl cowgirl and bondage bondage this isn't a move since when accessories and cowgirl move not definitely not at the same time yeah cowgirl's fun though it's just the quickest and the easiest and then being my moon bite leave my apartment you like to be in control she does yeah are you in the fucking closet watching them fuck damn she answered that with her full chest okay Kris Jenner she does yes oh my god you said that with your chest

okay unfortunately I do have to go to the airport okay I love you it is time for big greedy goose to leave I need to catch a flight home guys I have tears in my eyes that was a fun game that was really fun okay well I love you guys. I love you more.

Don't throw up. My favorite little Russian. Yeah, obviously. Or Xero. Xero. Okay. Well, Graydon had to head to the airport. I don't know what other

plans he has or what other friends he has besides us but he had to go somewhere so we're just going to wrap this up with Lauren my beautiful gorgeous how are we? I'm good someone called me a model last night someone called you a model last night? yeah don't you remember? I was like shocked by that

how could they? I mean you could be no but me and you both were like. Wait, I don't remember that. Liv. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was really nice of her. I was like, you're so kind. I like how that's the first thing you wanted to bring up.

So someone called me a model last night. Now I'm second guessing my career. Yeah. What else? I don't know. Tell me about your night. I left you at like. I know you always go home

so early it was like 1 30 i left at 1 30 no you didn't okay i left at one you're rounding up okay i left at one and i was in bed by 1 30 okay fine um no but like that was good you drank i saw you with a drink in hand i think i took like 15 shots like but like i'm not even kidding i kept taking them and i was okay i mean i do have like a hollow leg i can drink but a hollow leg i swear i have a hollow i don't know what that means like it just goes somewhere alcohol like a boot no like i have a hollow leg like this one's made of like beautiful and this one's just empty and that's where all the alcohol goes that's why i can drink a lot this is what i mean you speak in idioms you're like what is that like you're really like you're like like i don't know that many idioms well you always say that though i do you always

yeah you do and i don't know any of them and then you always have to explain them to me oh yeah it's one of our pastimes also we people don't know that your first language is not english yeah this is important yeah i didn't speak english until i was like six wait really yeah because i like went to like russian school i like grew up in like a russian jewish community like i didn't need english and you play tennis and i played tennis with all the russians so like are you yeah okay i didn't really need english and then i got to school my mom said i started teaching my you know i didn't play sports in high school really i had to but i wasn't good at playing sports in high school

who were you good because i was like a deer on ice that's an idiom production okay deer on ice i was walking around yeah i don't have good legs i have gray legs but i don't have good legs for sports like you know what i mean you have good hand i feel like do you just say i have good legs. I have gray legs, but I don't have good legs for sports. Like, you know what I mean? You have good hand-to-eye. I feel like... Did you just say I have good hand-eye? Hand-to-eye coordination. Dude, I'm cross-eyed.

Literally, my hand-to-eye, I see two things. Oh, my God. But then I just remember the summer you were playing racquet sports with me, and you were pretty good. No, I'm not bad. I'm, like, sneaky athletic. Like, you've seen me. Yeah. I need to see you on a horse though what no like

so weird no but i need to see you on the horse though that came out wrong you keep saying that you want to get on a horse when did we have this i've never talked about getting on a horse oh with page with page yeah yeah and then i don't know why that would be a sport but you keep saying that you'd be really good i feel like you could have gone for any other sport like lacrosse, field hockey, volleyball, but you chose horseback riding. Horseback riding. Once I played ice hockey, I was like an eighth grader because you like had to play a sport at the school I went to.

Like you had to play a sport in the fall, winter, and spring. That's kind of crazy. And if you didn't, you had to be in theater. And I was like, I'm not going to be a fucking weirdo. I like that. That wasn't cool at the school I went to. I mean, is it cool at any i don't know some people are really good at it it was just not my thing really like julian my thing wasn't sports

either so i played ice hockey and i was so bad i was literally a deer on fucking ice and um i gave my own teammate a concussion i accidentally put my stick in her skate and she had to wear a neck brace for a month and a half my own you put a girl in a neck brace yeah so sorry sally her name was sally wait poor girl i was so sports weren that thank you you're welcome but i that got me out of a lot of sports actually yeah you probably had no like you literally couldn't play them i was a manager though they still made me manage the team like actually i got hepatitis which i got alcohol poisoning accidentally on mono it was like the first time i ever drank it was like before i was 16 and i chugged a full bottle of vodka i'd mixed every clear liquid that was in my parents liquor cabinet so they didn't know i like took it and stole it and i put it all together and then i chugged the water bottle

and like i was 14 and i was like the youngest in my class because i was really smart and beautiful so i didn't know like that would make you sick. I was mixing gin, whiskey. It was the most disgusting concoction. And it was all clear liquid. So it looked like it would look like water. And so I got really sick. And I didn't know I had mono at the time.

And so my liver got really swollen. And that was like hepatitis B or something. Oh, my God. I know. What did your parents say they said don't steal her liquor they said 42.5 down the drain that was my tuition fuck they were very disappointed in me britain was such an angel you know she's the complete opposite my older sister is like an angel didn't drink until she was like 18. I sound like, like that's an accomplishment,

but like, but like she was really good. Didn't drink, like didn't go out much, didn't drink. And I was the prop, the child that like they had to deal with all the experiences with first, like, Oh, as a parent, what do we do here? They wanted to ground me for nine months and send me back to karate. So as a 14 year old who like was like now like karate was not cool to do as like a 14 year old so i was like okay like now i have to like put on my gi and put on my little belt and go to karate class on a saturday morning hallie's a brown belt no yeah fun fact i am a brown belt like literally hallie like she's small but she's so mighty like you can like there's been times where you're like

like arm wrestle not like literally but we haven't like arm wrestled pilates no hallie you're strong as fuck yeah it's like freaky oh yeah like my hands are certified weapons yes like yeah you could literally take me out don't test me don't test me becky but anyways what else what else sorry that was a tangent you're actually better than i thought you were gonna be on here i just don't like to like see myself no wait i like that i like that i like this a lot better she's like the back end i'm like better behind the scenes but i'm like try they are like forced not forcing me but they're encouraging me they're encouraging me to post i feel like you're like so like such a natural you're like it's just meant to be podcast this is really good for you

like maybe i'll get comfortable i'm trying i'm starting to i'm gonna post spreading your legs yeah or wings or whatever you call it what's the that's an idiom right spread your wings spread my wings you can spread your legs too no like how you're so supportive it's insane i am it's kind others are oh my god it's kind it's just kindness kindness is so important lauren brings up this every week i've never okay we are at a house party. Hallie is hammered. Hammered. We're sitting on the couch and I'm like. I stand by what I said, by the way.

I'm like, listen, I'm sober. I'm like listening into her conversation. She's like spewing about kindness for 20 minutes. She's like, I just value kindness. Like, it's so important to be kind. Like, I'm and I'm I'm like listening like I don't know if my face if you could tell like Halle's looking at me she goes what do you think like kindness right like we're so kind like so important I'm like whatever you think I literally said that I go whatever you think and then in the morning I look at her and I go Halle we're not that kind so I wait, wait, what was I even talking about?

I'm like not even that kind. Like I was really going on and on about kindness. Kindness is important though. Like I will stand by that. Yes. But it's not. The way that you were speaking about it, like literally seemed like you were a fairy angel goddess.

Like it was a pillar in my life. Kindness. I have kindness like above my bedroom she wakes up and like says kindness first thing and like i think i was spewing this to production and they had to listen but like they don't know they didn't they didn't like know you well they were paid to listen they were no literally get up and walk away no like they were like so into it with you and like they didn't know they had to be and They had to be in it with me. Yeah.

And then I was just there being like. And I was like trying to make eye contact with production being like, are you guys okay? Like you don't have to listen to this. You're like, you can get up if you want to. Get up at any moment. Like I promise she won't yell. I probably would have continued talking about kindness. They left. Or I would have been talking about kindness they left or i would have

been like see that's not kind they would have gone up and left and holly was just talking to nobody kindness kindness and so now it's very important i bring it up every week because she does something kind and i'm like it's her inside joke now i'll be like oh well kindness so that's why that happened so yeah like you made a reservation at our favorite restaurant kindness kindness should we post my video kindness it's just kindness it's so important that's so should we go get kindness oh that should be our matching tattoo i'm not tattooing kindness on my body even though i really care about it i'm making a pillar i'm dead I like that diabolical that's what I knew I need to like take a break

from the bottle that was the you were so serious like oh like I was probably cross-eyed too and I knew that if I accepted being a Cali what I would have been annihilated yeah kindness that wouldn't have been kind so maybe like so maybe that was my moment that was your moment to step in that was so funny so me and lauren actually do want to get matching tattoos but it won't be of kindness so um we actually even though it's super important we found a couple good ones yes well you what is your favorite the fig i want to get like the fig so we have like two halves of a fig is that a vegetable it's like a fruit we should figure that out before we put it into our body i just think like they're just cute okay another idea was like i would be like holding like a bottle and how they would have an open okay wait

wait this is let me explain i think we should mine would be like an alcohol bottle pouring into hallie's glass yes so like when we were like next to each other, mine would be like it would be like a bottle dipping into like her glass. How would that look individually though? It would look like you're an alcoholic with just a bottle of alcohol on your body. Well, it would be like a single line drawing. Okay. Maybe.

Okay. I don't like that one. I don't like that one. What else? But we just need to get something matching. You have quite the collection. I am. Yeah. It's one of those things where like I want to spend money on it, but like I don't like that one. What else? But we just need to get something matching. Yeah. You have quite the collection. I am. Yeah.

It's one of those things where like I want to spend money on it, but like I don't want to spend money on it. Yeah. Because it's kind of expensive. I know. Every time I like get a paycheck, I'm like, okay, like this is going to be the one where I get a tattoo. And then I think about all the other things.

I don't even. I have a snake, a massive snake in my arm. I don't even like snakes. I know. You were manic. I was manic. It was a slow Tuesday. Like literally, I have a snake, a massive snake in my arm. I don't even like snakes. I know. You were manic. I was manic. It was a slow Tuesday. Like literally, I have no idea.

You just like posted on your Snapchat. I was like, what the fuck? No, that was so weird to me. There was a point though I was obsessed too. Like I was always getting them. I couldn't stop. No, yeah. It's an addiction.

Like it's fun. I also love needles, clearly. So I was like, what's another needle in the arm? Wait, that sounded crazy. Wait, no. Whoa. You know what I mean? It's okay.

Not the hair. But no, we'll think of some. I really like the fig. I think that would be really cute. Or like two halves of something. Like I'm not going to get, we're not going to get yin and yang. But something really cute. I'll find. Yeah. I yeah i like big and i think it's a cute shape just tell me when and where okay and there's another one that i want to get so like let's just go do it do them together okay i want to get a couple

of my hands yeah okay perfect okay well that's a wrap um guys we will keep you updated on our tattoo journeys i'll see you guys next week. Go like, subscribe, show some love. Five stars, six stars, seven stars. I don't know. But yeah, thank you.