Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Mykonos, mushrooms, & travel meltdowns *Euro trip recap!!*

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

Kalimera bitches! Hallie and Lauren are back from Europe and ready to recap their wild, beautiful, and nasty summer adventures... starting with Hallie’s near-Karen passport meltdown en route to Mykonos and a one-night stop in Nice featuring an extra special chocolate-fueled dinner. Hallie finally learned to relax on the beach, Lauren almost electrocuted the group via hot tub, and some frat boys peed on flight attendants (allegedly). They also dive into Hallie’s asexual summer era, setting her up with a hot normal man, and whether or not it’s unhinged to watch the exposition in porn. Tune in next week for part 2 where the summer saga will continue... BESOS!!! It's Extra Euro! Follow @extradirty on socials to keep up with Hallie and if you love what you hear, leave a review and subscribe to keep the chaos coming. 

I'm not like a quick fuck. It would have been a whole night thing. Period. She'll like text me and be like, I'm just going to bed now. It's like 9 AM. Like, what were you doing? She's like, I was fucking all day. It's 9 AM.

We're having a little talk. OK, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York I had every intention of saying it last night hey welcome can you hear me we're back extra dirty dirty, can you hear me? Extra dirty. We're getting filthy. All right, I got inside. Nice.

Can you hear me? OK. That was really good. Welcome back to Extra Dirty. I'm here with my favorite motherfucker, motherfucker, Lauren. We have so much to discuss. We have so much to catch up on.

I haven't sat down in front of the mic in like a week and a half, I don't think. And we've done so much in that week and a half. And we've done so much. We've conquered so much. We came, we saw, we came again, and we conquered. We we've done so much in that week and a half. And we've done so much. We've conquered so much. We came. We saw. We came again. And we conquered.

We've been in so many countries. I know. They almost didn't let me in the fucking country of Europe, which I thought was very rude. I don't understand. OK, so I have a password that apparently is expiring. It says it's expiring on September 24, 2025. So you'd think that wouldn't be just like a suggestion.

I don't, I still don't understand that. So it's actually not a suggestion. It's kind of like a suggestion because like there's three month rules and six months. It's a suggested expiration date. Yeah. I'm like, wait, babe. So we just went to Europe. We just went to Mykonos. We had the best time ever. We had the best time. It really solidified just the vibes. It was the best kickoff to the summer, the best people on the trip. I don't think eight people have ever gotten along so cohesively and pleasantly.

In the history of people. In the history of people existing. No, it was like, let's just start from the beginning. OK. OK. I mean, the beginning was rough. I almost had a heart attack in the beginning. The beginning was rough.

Because of this fucking passport situation. Yeah. Let me just tell you. My mom did all the research. Will Hallie be let in? And it was a yes. And then we get to the airport. I was there a little early.

I got a no problem, although it did say that we needed wheelchairs. We fixed that. And then Hallie shows up. I got in no problem. Although it did say that we needed wheelchairs, we fixed that. And then Halle shows up. And you take it away. So you showed up with your fiance. I showed up with my fiance, Grayden. And we get to the airport.

We're so excited. I dropped so much money on fucking clothes, so much fucking money on the first class flight. We put a lot into this fucking trip and we're so excited. We get to the desk. You packed like two weeks early. I packed, I was so excited.

Like, okay. We were ready. And this woman at the front desk was ready to take away all my dreams and hopes. So we get to the front desk and I was checking my bag. This gradient checks his luggage and then I hand her my passport and she goes oh my god like you just missed the cutoff and I was like oh my god and then she swipes it and she goes

you did not make it you could not come hands me back so casually just hands me back the passport and was like no and then she goes I'm gonna try to call the UK and then pretends like called the fucking fucking UK, like as if like Mr. You, like who, King, who's the king there? The king? As if the king's going to be like, can Ali come? And like, well, she acted like the king said no. I have a girl here with huge tits, can she come? Yeah.

She acted like I had cocaine stuffed in my fake implants. That's how she was treating me. She hands me back my passport and looks at me and goes, are you gonna go or are you gonna go back home with her? What are you gonna do? And we were white as a ghost. I almost threw up on her. And meanwhile all the texts that I'm getting are just, Hallie can't go. Like, Hallie can't go. That's it. And I'm like calling, no one one's picking up because I was having a panic attack. Right. And I'm like, can someone pick up the fucking phone because I know that they like I was like, where did you guys go? What lady did you guys see? Call me. Grayden

calls me. Jordan had literally looked at me. He was like, I'm not going to touch this. I'm going to go into the lounge. You look like you're going to deal with this. I was ready to walk right back out of security like you should have seen me Hallie I wish you saw me because I you would have hated it you would have dropped a bitch but this lady just hand me back my passport as if like it was oh sorry good luck good luck bye good luck on everything bye Uber's outside yeah you can leave that way. I was like, literally go fuck yourself and die. I hope she's watching this, die.

No, I was kidding, die. So finally I get a hold of them and I'm like, where did you guys go? And they're like, we just went to the kiosk. I'm like, okay, you don't just go to the kiosk. We have first-class flights. Go to this like premium check-in, talk to this guy. He just helped me figure out our shit,

and he's waiting for you. Yeah. And you guys went? We go through, and he's typing everything to the computer, and he goes, have fun. And it was like nothing. So it was just one girl at the random kiosk that decided to ruin my whole life,

didn't want me to go to the country of Europe. Fuck that bitch. But the other guy was so nice and kind and was exuding kindness, which you do when you're going on a Euro trip to Mykonos with your besties. And I like stayed I stayed on the phone with you guys while you were doing this. And all I heard when you got the passport back just being like, have fun. All I heard was great. And on the other line being like, damn, she was right. Yeah. Because I know both of you were probably there,

like, what is this person going to do? Why is she sending us here? I just like, I almost threw up in that moment. I almost passed away. I almost caused a fucking scene. It would have been all over the internet. I would have been that crazy Karen at the fucking airport throwing bags and shit.

Imagine. I would have loved to see that. Imagine. That would honestly have been the funniest crash out ever. But I would have figured out a way to get, I would have loved to see that. Imagine that would honestly have been the funniest crash out ever. But I would have figured out a way to get, I would have had to like figure it out. But like I would have figured it out.

You would have figured it out. I would have. It would have like probably cost you like another five to 10K, but you would have figured it out. I would have come. So anyways, we get in and we're like all giggling about it. We're sitting in the lounge. I order like a massive glass of wine.

It was like a half bottle. I'm like guzzling it down like there's no fucking tomorrow I'm so stressed out my heart's like beating like 90 million beats a minute and we're like, thank god. We finally got through So our flight gets called to board and you know They like call people like when it's like Oh extra security check for so-and-so on the loudspeaker without the whole airport can hear. They're like, Joe Schmo, Teddy Krueger, Freddie Krueger, and then Hallie Batchelder, please come to the front desk. And I was like, here we go. My heart sunk.

Here we go. Jordan and Greg started praying. Jordan and Greg started praying. He got down to his knees. I thought he was going to go down on Lauren and they started praying and they just looked at her passport and we're like, here you go. Have fun. And I was like, God is testing me today. I got the fuck God did not want me to come. And then we land in Nice. Yeah. And we're going through they have like the new passport control where it's electronic now and you scan your passport, Hallie's passport.

It's so fucked up. 10 years of water damage on this fucking passport. I know, I think I'm like six on it, honestly. Doesn't even look like me. And it's just not going through. No green, just red and the security's like, come to the left, come this way. And we're like, they're not going to let her in.

Like, fuck. And then you got there. And then it was smooth sailing. And then it was smooth sailing. We had so much fun the first night. So how we did the trip is we all met a niece. It was me, Grayden, Lauren, her fiancee Jordan, and then Lauren, Alex Cooper's best friend.

We all met niece and then we all, we just stayed there for one night and then took a PJ from niece to me to me. That took us like 48 hours of my life. The first dinner though. Yeah. The dinner of friendship. We call it the dinner of friendship we call it. The dinner of friendship, I will say, I found some chocolates in my fridge before the trip.

Which is just, this is mind blowing. Which is off brand for me. Off brand, completely. I never do shrooms. Completely. Only weekdays. But you showed up with like five different bags of shrooms, all different.

We didn't take any of them on the trip, by the way. Only that first night. Only that first night in Nice before dinner. On like four hours of sleep each. It was the funniest, giggliest dinner. And worst dinner. Like the food was. I don't even remember the dinner because I was giggling so hard.

We were all taking pictures. Like I was tripping so much sack. I took the chocolate, like just like the smallest little corner before. I took a nap. That's crazy. And then I woke up from my nap, guys. I woke up from my slumber. And all I saw, it was like the walls were just moving.

And you could see texture. And they looked furry. And I was like, holy fucking dog shit. Imagine waking up from a peaceful slumber, with moving walls. It was amazing. I loved it, but I was kind of having a panic attack. Yeah.

Because I don't like psychedelics. You walked into my room like nibbling on your thumb. I was like, oh god. Yeah, I was hungry. No, she was like. Like I could tell something was wrong. Because your hair looks fucking crazy on shrooms. I know.

Looks like I could sail like a boat on your hair when I'm on the shroomies. So true. We were in Tahoe and those kids were doing acid. They looked at me and they were like... I was like... Because her hair is so beautiful. You should like do a land comb partnership or something. Trust in me. Yeah. I cannot do shrooms and look at Lauren Prysmeyer. Yeah, and I can be in the video and I'll just be like. No, but it's actually insane, like when people are high and they look at me, they're like, yeah, they brought something is either like I'm really they run from me because like something like there's like snakes coming out of my hair. I'm turning into Medusa.

Yeah, tattoos, lots of gold jewelry. You look like a pirate,. Pirates of the Caribbean. You look like Jack Sparrow. Or like, yeah, Jack Sparrow. But like in a cute, chic Jacks. Yassify Jack Sparrow. Beautiful and gorgeous. Yep, but Halle walks into her room

and like I hadn't known that she had done shrooms. And I was like, what? And then I got a text message. I was like, oh. Yeah. And then we all did it. It was the best, giggliest dinner. But I thought everything was so aesthetic.

Yeah, we were all taking like photos of the walls. Just like the wall. I was like, this will be great for the dump. Yeah, and then we looked at the photo. It's like a, no. It's just like a. Let's clip them. That would actually be.

It's a cliff. We're gonna clip all the pictures of the fucking walls we took. That we thought ate the house down fucking roads. And then we all looked at them and like half of them were blurry. The next day we're like, what was in those chocolates?

Yeah. And we were all like, we literally all were just sitting there trying to formulate conversation to which nothing was coming out. So we were like, maybe we should play a game. Well, someone suggested at the table of adults, we couldn't come up with a game to play.

So we proceeded to sit in silence and then we just figured it out. Like maybe we should just talk. Well, no, someone suggested we play a game and I was like, I think it was Graydon. I was like, how about we don't do that? Graydon wanted to play a game. Why would we play a game? But then it took us like five minutes to decide on a game, and we couldn't even put that together. Everyone was high.

It was crazy. But it was giggly, and it was fun. And then the worst food ever came out. We need to clip the food. I'm not kidding. It was an eggplant, maybe? I just think it was a little too like, acquired. Foodie.

It was like too like Michelin. Michelin and we were, it was like very curated. A lot of foam. A lot of like, yeah, egg yolk foam. Foam. It was like a foam pit in my mouth. We're caught in tomato and then foam. Yeah. It was really strange.

But the drinks were good. No, I think. The drinks are great. Wait, one thing that I noticed in Europe, all the drinks are just syrup. No, all the, all right, this is something I want to talk about. All the drinks are sugary.

And there's no fucking dirty martini in a 30-mile radius. And it's very upsetting and disappointing to me. And I want to speak to the king. And I'm pretty sure it's an olive region No, you think in my hands will increase you think that there would be like they would just like pluck olives out of their assholes And like the the oceans and the Poseidons and all like the you know, like all of olives olive oil, isn't it found there? Yeah You'd think there'd be an olive near the olive oil Just to put my mark why they don don't know why they don't.

On the last night, our hotel was probably the only place that had a dirty martini. The hotel food was lovely. All right, let's bounce back. OK. Back we go. I'm getting carried away on the fucking dirty martini ran. Now I want one.

Back to knees. And then we went to the airport. The PJ. That was the best three- hour trip of my life. Oh, the boys were yapping in the back, the girls were yapping in the front. It was so much fun. It just like, everyone got along so well.

Like, you would think that on a trip of eight people, someone would be annoying. We kept saying that. Nobody. Nobody was annoying. Everyone was on the same page. I thought that was gonna be the annoying one. Cause sometimes I can't sit still. Yeah, cause you Everyone was on the same page. I thought that was going to be the annoying one. Because sometimes I can't sit still.

Yeah, because you just wouldn't want to go home. But I was able to lounge on that beach last night. Oh, yeah. Wait, actually though, that needs to be studied. Because in our six years of friendship, I have never seen Halle on a beach or sitting still. Like one time at Coachella at Coachella Halle maybe walk 20,000 steps just around I have anxiety OCD ADHD should I continue no I got it

yeah so I can't really sit still but I will say you always say this about the Nantucket beaches because you're like let's go to the beach on Nantucket I'm like you'd like a lug all the stuff to the beach and then I get a UTI because the sand's in the crack. And then the ocean's cold and like I have to go to the porta potty. There's no like nice luxurious bathroom nearby. And there's no one like waiting on you.

There was like servers. Like we could order a drink. We could have lunch that was just like sprawled out for you. There was cabanas, there was shade if you wanted it, no shade if you wanted it. There was, it was quiet. I wanna go back. It was actually, it was so perfect.

Like every single day we had a lunch plan and every single day. Like a lunch day party. Yeah, like we were supposed to go to like a day club situation I think every day except for the first day. and every single day lunch day party yeah like we were supposed to go to like a day club situation i think every day except for the first day and every morning we'd wake up and be like guys should we just hang out by our beach on the beach and there was and i know one one to the one to suggest it and alex would always be like hey guys i have a plan she didn't want to like and i have

an idea and we're like thank god you said something because I literally couldn't imagine going to Skelos or Clilos or wherever the fuck Scorpio script well love Scorpio's but like that was the last night the last night we fucking sent it sent it Yeah, and I drank all trip you did drink and for some reason I don't wake up with a hangover there. I Because there's something about the European Sun that just cares you There are something about hangovers in the summer. I will say I'm less likely to have a debilitating hangover like on Nantucket Or like when it's hot me out if I get outside and walk around I'm like I will die. No, but like if you touch grass literally and like ground yourself in the earth, it

cures you. It cures. Okay, maybe I'll try it. Like some wind, some fresh air. No, fine. That's true. And like a pool, like cold water. Yeah.

Can't really submerge in the middle of winter in New York. We had those three incredible hours together in the PJ. Yeah. Me and Halle made a notes list of all the stories that just were brought up that we had to share with you. This was brought up on the flight, because one, we were worried that we were going to, we didn't want to turn up the music. We didn't want to disturb the captain.

We, all of a sudden the plane is like bouncing up and down, they have to land it for us. So, I mean, when would that have happened? It wouldn't, but you know, we, that's how we kind of, we were joking. No, yeah, we were just kidding. And this is how we got into it was when I was at Bucknell, the juniors and seniors, they would always go to like,

put DeConnor on our cover or some shit like that. And- Let's talk about the Bucknell boys. The Bucknell boys and actually so funny, I think the same Bucknell boys were actually in Meekinose with Chizimo like a week later. And they like called me. I just saw his post.

Yeah, yeah. So those same Bucknell boys, it was this frat at Bucknell, which is Fiji, Fiji frat. Fiji frat at Bucknell, we're looking at you. Yeah, they were always like a little bit of a problem causing something, but they all. Aren't all frat boys a fucking problem? Yeah.

Was it the lacrosse brat? Yeah. So they went to Putucana for spring break. And I think one of them, two of them, something like that were so barred out on this flight that one of them started pe out on this flight that they sort of one of them started peeing on the flight attendant. Yeah, like this is also love the fact that you're bringing up this story. I also like hope that I'm retelling it accurately because I never

got to go on one of those trips. But this is what I heard. And I think I was a Jew senior when they were juniors. So this was happening at junior year. And they were peeing, they like peed on the flight attendant because they were so fucked up. Weren't they like hitting on the flight attendant? They were hitting on her, then they peed on her. How did they go from hitting on her to peeing on her? They progressively got more and more barred out. Did they pee their pants maybe?

I think they were like, I don't know. I think they were like, were trying to pee and then maybe she was walking by. Maybe they peed on her, or maybe she saw them peeing in their seats, something along those lines. But they had to. Pee was involved. Pee was involved, and they had to emergency land

the plane somewhere in Dallas. Did they have to strap them down? I don't know, but maybe. That would be really funny. Like in their seat belt. That would be really fucking funny. I don't know. Maybe I'm just embellishing the story now.

They were straight jacketed to their chairs. No. That would be really fucking funny. I don't know. Maybe I'm just embellishing the story now. They were straight jacketed to their chairs. No. That would make a better story. They had to emergency land this plane. And when you are the reason to an emergency landing, you have to cover all the hotel costs for everyone on board. And then also get new flights. And then I'm also pretty sure that this kid is also banned

from whatever airline it was, which I think it was like Delta. Wasn't it? Oh, that sucks. Love Delta. Like Delta or like jump, something like that. Like it was a nice airline. And I'm pretty sure they're banned. And I think his dad was not happy.

Not happy. Now we can joke about it because it's so far in the past. I'm trying to figure out what vibe I'm on this summer because I feel like a little bit asexual right now. Let's talk about that as well on the trip. Jordan. Oh yeah. Jordan was like shocked. Jordan was shocked by you. He literally looked at me at one point and was like Halle can have any guy she wants. That's so nice of him to say. So kind. And he was like, but look at her. And you're like pretending to give like Graydon head or something like that. And he's like, but look at her. She wants nothing to do with them. And I was like, I know. I want to girls trip with everyone I love.

Everyone I love in the same way. We have Matt, Alex, Lauren. We have Lauren, my Lauren here, Jordan and Graydon, who's really like my boyfriend. He's like, we're in a lavender marriage. I'm like, I don't want anyone penetrating this circle at all. Cause God forbid you miss the after, you know, the post-game. No, God forbid I miss an inside joke

that you guys giggle about on the beach the next day and then we can't all giggle together because I'll feel like I missed out. That is such friendship. That is friendship to its core. But I'm also like, I was just being for the girls on that trip really. Yeah, I thought it was gonna be a make-out.

There was a lot of men. Yeah, I remember the owner of the thing. So hot. So hot. But I remember he was buying me a drink at the bar and I wasn't even making eye contact with him. I was like looking at you guys. Yeah, he was buying me a drink at the bar and all I wasn't even making eye contact with them I was like yeah I was literally looking scant scanning the room yeah how he was looking for us cuz I love you guys and you guys are my friends I don't care about you know Thor knows or whatever his name was yeah no you wanted nothing

to do with it yeah and every night we would just come back we would and we't leave too late, we were like ending our nights at 1230 and then we would go and post game in the hot tub all together. Yeah. And you would fall asleep on the on the concrete. Yeah. And we'd continue chatting and then we'd go to bed, do it all over again. Yeah. Speaking actually of you and your boyfriend Graydon, we were in this private little speakeasy that we found, which everyone should go to if you're in Meek and Hoes. It's called Bolero, I think. I can't say.

Yeah, it was Bolero. It was sick. And I'm looking at me and Halle, we give a little peck to each other. We're so happy to be there. I'm like, love you. And then all of a sudden, I think Graydon felt left out. So he was all back. We're like making out. Yeah. I think we started making out and I don't know. That's what we do. I don't know why. Like we started

making out. Honestly, that's what a girl's trip is about. You can't with your girls. And we it was more of just like a I love you. It's like, love you so much. I love you. I was like, love you so much. I'm so happy to be here with you. I love you. I let my mouth open. And Grayden felt really left out. So all of a sudden I look and Grayden so sensually like grabs Halle's face. Like the nape of my neck. Yeah. Like turns her to the side. Like his whole hand.

Like he dipped me as I'm here. Yeah. It goes in and I was like, oh, he's just going to give her a little peck. This man fully puts his tongue down Hallie's like the road and comes back for air. And I look at Hallie, she had a smile. She was like, and all of a sudden she's like, it was really inappropriate. She's absolutely horrified. And I look at Graydon and he's like, great. And get your fucking tongue out of my mouth and don't ever do that again.

Graydon's like hair tossing and Hallie is absolutely horrified. Graydon wanted everyone to make out. Yeah. Remember when Matt tried to set me up with Phineas and Ferb? Yeah, that was really bad. The private equity guy? Yeah. That lied about having a house on Nantucket?

Yeah. You were like, what's the address? And he was like I Go and then he looked at me as if I like wronged him I was like Normal follow-up question. I said where in Nantucket like that's kind of like what you do Then you just like pull up a map and then he just googled like Nantucket and just like pulled up map and just like clicked on something. He was so weird He was so weird and his fucking teeth were all fucked up. People are so weird.

Like how do you not have any social cues that we experienced this weekend? He started singing opera. Oh my God, he did. No, he started- He's an opera singer. Like it was crazy. And then we were like all going back because like Lauren like fancied his friend,

not this Lauren, Alex's Lauren, fancied his friend. So we all like walked back to the Sprinter and he's like singing opera all the way fucking back to the Sprinter. Alex looks at him and is like, no, stop. You're not going on this van if you keep singing opera. And Matt was like, and the man, the guy was like, look at Matt and was like, is it bothering you?

And he was like, it's not bothering me, like personally, but don't fuck with my wife. Do not fuck with my wife. Yeah. It's so iconic. He pulls his moustache and he's like, bro, that didn't really bother me that much, but don't fuck with my wife.

And he was like, he was like, period. And then he ended up hooking up with one of the girls that was friends with the girl that like, oh, that the other guy brought home. So he ended up getting lucky. up with like one of the girls who was like friends the girl that like oh that the other guy brought home so he ended up getting lucky yeah but like he was weird he was really scary I thought he was a friend of Matt's I didn't realize he was a friend of the guy that Lauren was trying to get away I think Matt found him when like him and Lauren went hunting on hunting yeah I was like Lauren

I'm not I was like I'll come on with you guys. That first place. What's it called? I'm a girl. It looked like it was like all guy groups. It looks like Bonnie Blue's waiting room. Yeah, I have I have a photo of it. We'll we'll cut it. It's just a sea of bald men. It was it was insane. It was actually like a little worrisome. It was like kind of, I might have maybe Bonnie Blue was upstairs. Yeah. Bonnie Blue was on stage.

Yeah. I like talk about her a lot on this show. Like I talk about her a lot, but like. Bonnie Blue follows extra nerdy. I don't know what that is. I like kind of like love that by the way. Like I tell people that often. She might unfollow us now, but like what hurts she'll probably love it, but it was fun like the whole trip. It was so much fun

Gained a whole new love for Alex and Matt. Yeah, and like I feel like I love them before I love them more now Yeah, I'm like obsessed with all them and Lauren is so fucking funny Lauren's my favorite you it's actually underrated how funny she is. No, like that needs to be studied how funny she is. On the last day when they were leaving, we were just like. She's so free. She's like, wow. Yeah, she's so free.

That's a good way to put it. She's very free spirited, which I love. Yeah, and on the last day, we were just, she got so drunk on the last night before they left. And the next day, we were just having our little yap session, talking about the night and she was like she was like um what'd you guys end up doing and she's like oh like max went you to the hot was with you at the hot tub and we were like trying we were like lauren you were

there she was like, what? Yeah. And then she remembered that she fell into the bushes while leaving our villa. And she was like, oh my god, I have some memory of it. I'm like, oh my god, Lauren. I almost like died in that hot tub. You almost killed us. Yeah, I had to go to bed.

And I was like, Jordan, please watch her. She's going to fall asleep in there. You need to. Well, I had my tits that were keeping me afloat, but like I was passing out in the hot tub. And then you almost like threw the charger in there. Oh my God, this was so funny. I was so drunk on that last night

because we went to Scorpio's and it was the fucking best night of my life. Like I actually don't think I stopped jumping up and down for 20 minutes, for I mean four hours, but Jordan has this massive block charger. Sorry. Sorry. He has this massive block charger that has a socket outlet,

like four different, whatever, just this huge, basic, big charger. Like not a little portable, big portable, massive portable. And I had it plugged into my phone And I'm in the hot tub Not realizing my surroundings and I like take my arm and I go and I move it over the water I don't think that would have done anything. I think it would have killed us really Hallie. That was basically a fucking microwave being dropped into And it's literally dangling

off my phone above the water and me and Max lock eyes and we're both like so drunk and we're like, oh shit. Like after like probably 10 seconds of this, I almost killed at least three of us. Me, you and Lauren would have been electrocuted. You almost killed us. I almost killed at least three of us. Me, you, and Lauren. Would have been electrocuted. You know I would have gone first. I would have like just made it. Yeah, I would not sustain. I can barely sustain wind. No, it was- Let alone that. And no one, no one reacted to it. Like other than me and Max, we were like, and he was like, oh shit. No, I don't think I saw. No one, yeah, thank God. That would have been really, guys. I was probably like this.

No, you were. We kept waking up every day and we'd be like, I'm so happy to be here. How depressed was I the last day? Oh my God. I almost like. She was not okay. I've never seen you like that.

It was like I was coming off Molly. I was like, did I do Molly? I felt like that was the come down. I was so sad to separate and like everyone was going in different directions and like I didn't leave my apartment or talk to anyone for three days after. Yeah. I was really damn bad. I didn't know what to do with you on the last day. Again you were like... I was anxious while I've been drinking I was on a fucking bendy Anna. Yeah it's my favorite is when you like look at me

for help. You're like Lauren. Well, I needed help with me Can't say no to that. Well, you like to read When I need help and I'm like put your book down. Oh and you're like I Had like 40 I had literally 40 pages to go and you were like Lauren. I was like, hold on This book is making me mad. I'm having a panic attack The flight back they almost didn't let me back in the US the lady looks at me and goes please renew your passport please work on that like shut the fuck up I was like you know why do

you think I'm leaving anyways mon talk let's talk about it I kissed a boy how I kissed a boy only kissed actually I would have done more if you guys weren't in the fucking room I know I kissed a boy. Halle kissed a boy. Only kissed. I would have done more if you guys weren't in the fucking room. I know. I was so weird. Like I literally screamed at him. Not at him. Who was so weird? Me. I was weird. I screamed at all of us.

Why? I don't know. I was like, let's run it back! Talking about last year Montauk when you brought a guy home and me and Liv went into the shower to let you guys do your thing. And I just screamed in the middle of our group being like, run it back. I can't perform knowing that you guys are hiding in the bathroom.

I know. I would have done it in front of you, like college style. College style? Me and Liv would have just been like. You would have been annoyed. Look at her go. With the noise. He was cute, though.

So cute. Halle. I'm obsessed with him for you. Oh my god. No like I'm actually obsessed. He is so fucking cute. I feel like you guys just want me to like have a boyfriend. No.

Because I'm the only one that doesn't have one. No. And I like don't like that being pushed on me because it means we don't want one. I strongly disagree. This is propaganda. I will not fall for it. I strongly disagree. If it was anyone else, he's just like so perfect for you

in the sense that he has a normal job. Yeah, he's not fucking, he doesn't have an octobuddy, hopefully. He has a normal job. I think he's going to be really successful. I think he comes from a great family. He is friends with Jordan. Sounds like you want to fuck him.

He's friends with Jordan. You want to swing in his direction. He literally looked at me and was like, I know Jordan. Sounds like you wanna fuck him. He's friends with Jordan. You wanna swing in the direction. He literally looked at me and was like, I know Jordan, like we've met before. And I was like, Jordan has no friends here. The stars are aligning. He was like me and Jordan do work together.

I was like, oh my God. I know. And he's so cute. He's cute. And I think he was looking at you with like, there was like hearts spewing out of his eyes. I was aggressively making out with this man all night. Yeah.

And then Halle, this goes back to Halle, like not wanting to like, wanting to be part of the conversations on the way on the post game. Halle is full-thaw on making out with this man in the Uber ride home and every 15 seconds coming up for air to say something. Well, I just, I didn't want to like be left out of their conversation because I missed you guys. Yeah. So she would be in the make out and then be like, well, actually, one more thing. I had things to contribute to the conversation.

Yeah. Okay. He was like, can you come here? And you were like hanging over the back of the seats looking at us being like. I know. There's definitely a video of us making out. A short one. A very short one. Yeah.

That made me think like, because you're recording us making out. Now I've been watching Love Island recently. This is so random that I'm thinking about this. Like I don't know if I could like make out with someone on screen like that. Like I would not be able to watch myself. I mean, they also make out. Like some of them are really awkward.

So weird. So awkward. Why do they? They kind of miss each other. Oh. And then I'm like, and then I'm like putting nails in a chalkboard to me. The ones that lead to a tongue?

Yeah. Like, Olandria? like literally. I'm like, what the fuck? Not you locking all Andrea happening. No, I actually have paused it to look because I'm like, this is ridiculous. Like her tongue is like, I'm like, yeah, I just can't whenever they make out. I look away. Really? Yeah, I like don't, I skip that part when I watch porn. I like, how? What? It's true, do you watch the first six minutes of a porno? I feel like some people do to get them to,

no, I skipped to like six minutes, 30 seconds. I feel like some people start at, watch porn just for the storyline. Sunny. Sunny production gets it. We're getting a knot in the back. But come on, do you watch the part where they're entering the room? Hi, how are you?

Hi, how are you? I am your boss and I am mad at you. Get on the desk. I'm here to fix your TV. I don't want to see them kissing and they undress. I don't even care about him going down on her. Just get to the good parts. Get to them.

But you don't even watch that kind of porn porn that's not the kind of porn I watch you like girl and girl porn like why can you tell me why because I just feel like no I don't I think it's a very relatable thing for I think I'm in the minority here yeah you're like watching like massive I watched very interesting genres. Yeah. You watch what Jordan watches. I watch the crazy. You watch what men watch. Strong men. I just like, yeah.

Yeah. It's dark, but like. I just like. You like the sensual stuff. I like the sensual stuff. And I also like, OK, both people here are winning. And sometimes when I'm watching like a male, the big dick shit, the whatever,

the big BBC and whatever else you want to call it, the girl looks like she's in pain. No. The girl looks like she's in physical pain. I like it when they're like both enjoying themselves. I like to see someone's like get their shit absolutely rocked. Yeah.

Can we talk about the pain story? What pain story? Graydon's friend. Now that we're talking about pain. And people that get off to pain. I get off to light pain, like spanking, choking, all those things I get off to. Graydon was telling me his story about someone he knows that hooked up with someone.

Yeah. Okay. And the guy was like, I can't get hard unless I'm like in dire physical pain. So this is what I want you to do. I want you to put my nuts in between the toilet seat and I want you to just slam down on it repeatedly. And so this girl. She was like, how can I help you get hard? And he was like, here's what you do.

Here's the formula. So this guy puts his fucking nuts in the toilet, and this girl is just fucking going off, slamming as hard as she can, nuts down. He like teabagged the toilet, and she just went in, crushing his fucking nuts. And then he was hard as can be. And then he got hard and they fucked. He like teabagged the toilet and she just went in, crushing his fucking nuts. And then he was hard as can be.

And then he got hard and they fucked. She like said she didn't mind it apparently. I think if someone asked me, I don't know how I would react if someone asked me to do that. I would probably do it. You would do it. I would do it for sure.

I think I would probably be like, I would enjoy doing that, crushing a guy's nuts. Are you kidding me? I would have to be really drunk. It's a dream. I would have to be really drunk. So really I would be like, I would enjoy doing that and crushing guys. That's a kidding me. I would have to be really dream. I would have to be really drunk. So really I would be like, what's the weirdest thing I guys ever asked of you? I wish in my past someone had asked me something

really fucking weird so that I could have reacted to it, but I just, it never cost one of those guys. My ex was really fucking boring. I asked him to pull my hair once and he was like, what, and that was fucking, that was my ex. So nothing ever happened there. And then all the other guys I got with, I was kind of like drunk and I think it was normal. Yeah, that sounds really boring to me.

Yeah. I'm trying to think of, after last episode, I went home to Jordan and I was like, we're gonna role play once. He was like, okay. yeah, I've like never. I mean, have I role played? I'm trying to think. I think I actually want to. I think it would be really funny and fun.

I feel like you're going to do it. I'm going to do it. It's going to be funny. What role do you want to assume? You've thought about it. I'm sure you've already ordered an outfit. She's on fucking Etsy right now. Yeah. I'm gonna like post some Instagram in it. No, literally. You should film it and show me. Oh, I think I want to. I don't know. I haven't. I honestly

haven't thought about it that far, but I want to be like some kind of like Slavic bitch. Like I think you should do like a red wig. Yeah. Yeah. Remember that red wig I did once? Like black lipstick. Like a Russian spy. And like meet at like the Spaniards. Wait. I have an amazing idea. I'm going to be like a Russian spy. I'm going to be a Russian spy.

And we're going to have like all these like code words. Yeah. And he's like an American spy. And like go to Shea Margot. Yeah. And he's like an American spy. And you're going to see me there and you're going to come to me and be like, hey, fish. I'm going to be like, mm- Yeah. And he's like an American. And you're going to see me there, and you're going to go to me and be like, hey, fish.

I'm like, mm-mm. I am Svetlana. Not tonight. Not tonight. This is shit. Oh shit. This is another, we were talking about this last time and everything, my parents, like whenever something's bad,

they go, this is shit. And Graydon loved it so much, all trip he was like, shit. Food, shit. Shit. Drink, shit loved it so much all trip he was like shit. Food. Shit. Shit. Drink. Shit. Stairs.

Shit. Wind. Shit. It was just so funny. So if you see me in a red wig at Shea Margot, don't come up to me. I can't say hi? Mm-mm.

I'm in full character. I can be your accomplice. Yeah, you'll be my little German spy. Sometimes I wanna make a sex sex tape and release it. Hallie. Wait, we actually talked about this. Yeah, I think it'd be good for my first one. But what was your, wait, let's not tell the people now,

because maybe you actually will do it. What? To launch. Hallie was like, I'm going to start a company and launch it with my sex tape. I would do that. Yeah. But like what company am I?

What were we talking about a company? We were talking about it with the vodka. You were like, I'll just be like, I'll be standing over some guy pouring the vodka on his body. I don't remember this. But like, yeah, that would work. Yeah.

And I'm just like fucking myself in the ass with the bottle. Yep, that's exactly what you said. Yep. That would be beautiful. But I think I'll do some brand deals. Mm hmm. You were like, it's going to be like produced like the J. Oliver as one.

I think that was really smart. The shit that we talk about, like, I hope no one overheard us on the plane. We're like screaming it. What were we talking about on the plane? This. I mean, I just like we talk about sex a lot. We talk about cream pies a lot. We talk about on the plane? This. I mean, I just like, we talk about sex a lot. We talk about cream pies a lot.

We talk about cream pies. We really- I love a cream pie. We really are sex in the city. Carrie and Samantha. Yeah, you're a little more wholesome than me, but you still like sex. But like not really, you only had sex once on that trip.

Okay, it's not that I don't like sex. I, when I'm drunk, I don't want to like, That's when I get the most like creative. I know. I know. I, I know. I agree. I'm like, Woo! No, no, no, I completely agree. But me and Jordan like do not like we need our rest. So we've been, and we've been dating for so long now that like we both are going to get drunk. We both know we can't finish. Do we want to not finish or do we want to just like go to bed?

We're going to choose that. But sometimes if it's an earlier night, we'll get creative. But we were going to bed so late there and we were waking up so early We were we were waking up like 8 39 I was like I rather I kind of I value my sleep over how creative we can get in Greece right now You sleep over sex At this point yeah Yeah, see I'm the way it's during the day

I remember when I was going on that bender when I was just having a complete fuck fast with that guy, I wasn't sleeping for days. What guy? The guy. The bender guy. Yeah, but you were also like, it was like fresh and bun. I don't know if you would. I would do it again for a fucking check.

Yeah. Honestly, I'm glad that it ended because I was like going 48 hours with just like fucking and then not sleeping or eating. Yeah. And just like up all night doing God knows what. He was not good for you. And a lot of cardio.

And a lot of cardio. A lot of cardio. Yeah. No wonder your phone was on do not disturb and I didn't hear from you for 48 hours. Yeah, but I was enjoying myself and I was coming. And I had no idea that he was even there. It's funny, cause like when I hook up with someone,

I don't tell you. You don't tell me. I'll be like, do you know Greg? And she'll be like, who are you talking about? She's like, this guy I got with. I was like, huh? The guy I fucked last weekend. She's like, who the fuck are you talking about?

I have so many random side quests no one knows about. And you talk about them so casually. I just, in my head, I told you. Right. We are brains not like this. I was like, you should know about Greg. You should know about Greg. I like want to have like a fling this summer, I think.

I think it should be sexy man. We'll see. Sexy Hamptons man. It has to come naturally. It can't be pushed on me or I will resent him. Well, you saw the text messages. He actually suggested it. Jordan texted him because I texted, I was like, Jordan, we had the most fun with him. You know him. You work with him.

He's going to love this episode. Yeah. Well, we're talking all good things. And I was like, you, oh, Jordan's going to love this episode. No, the kid we're talking about. Yeah. And I was like, can you text him that we had the best time with him? And Jordan texted me, the girls loved hanging out with you,

and he suggested a proper double date. So on this double date, how does payment work? Because usually when I go out with- The boys pay. Oh, is that how it's gonna go? Because Jordan usually Venmo requests me. No, no, no. Very at speed.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm looking into camera one. You, Jordan, Venmo requests me. No, no, no. Very at speed. Oh yeah, yeah. I'm looking into camera one. You Jordan Venmo requesting me. He does do that. At the speed of lightning. But I do that too. But you're a girl. You're a girl.

He would, the boys would cover our meal. Okay. And then Jordan would probably Venmo request. Oh, because Jordan's covering your half. And Jordan is covering my half. And then he would cover your half. He might not like that. We're already assuming he's going to pay for half the meal.

Yeah. Which one? The one that we haven't gone out both of them. The one that doesn't know that he's going on a date. We're already planning how they're going to demo request each other. Yeah. Put the cards in.

Jordan will demo request him. Jordan will put his card down. To get the points. Maybe it'll be maybe he can expense it. Maybe it'll be, maybe he can expense it. Maybe it'll be a work, a work. I mean, it didn't really, can he expense it? Yeah, I'm technically his client. They use the software on at their company, so maybe.

And you're a client. I'm a client. So maybe, that's kind of nice. I'm the only one that's gonna have done that pay. It's a business meal. Yeah, but I really love this idea of a double date. And I think I'm, and I'm actually not pushing him on you.

I think you just, I think he's the kind of guy where like he was watching you and you were being you and he was just smiling. Oh, that's sweet. I was really fucked up. Yeah, and he was like, I remember him just being like, Exactly. And I was like,

You were like, exactly. And he was like, she's so cute. I needed like, I'm trying to like, cut back on drinking this summer. When?

Like, after the holidays. After the fourth. And then there's like a week after that. You're so funny when you're like, I'm not going to drink till Tuesday. I am not going to drink until tomorrow. Until Tuesday. Well, I have events and stuff, but like I don't want to like, I do get a little dependent

on alcohol to be social and like loosen up a little bit because I get anxious. I get that. But that's just me being real. But like I don't want to like be like that. Most people are like that, but I don't know if anxious. I get that. But that's just me being real. But I don't want to be like that. Most people are like that, but I don't know if most people would admit that. And I go to a lot of social events. So I don't want to feel super dependent.

And I think I need to cut back on drinking martinis and maybe just drink white wine or something. Maybe I should do that and then talk it. So I can at least see straight. I think that's what scares off guys a lot. Imagine you see a pretty girl from the back of the head and then just turn around. I'm like.

Holly, the other night was being so fucking funny. We went to dinner with one of our friends. His bit sometimes is just to kind of be like, the bit is like they're going to end up together one day. I don't think it's a bit. He wants to fuck me. He wants to fuck you. But he makes it into a laughing matter and Halle looks at him and she goes, one of these days, it'll happen. But you should pounce when you can't make eye contact with me. Yeah, I said you strike when my eyes are going in different directions. That's when you strike and then you penetrate. Like that was so fucking funny.

Yeah, that's true though. That's so true. It was so funny. It was hilarious. It was so funny the moment we were all dying laughing. I want to be able to also see into the crowd and like hunt. When I'm at a level of like drunkenness, I just literally want to talk to Lauren and whoever is like, with just Lauren actually. I don't want to talk to anyone else.

I know. You start to look at me. That's kind of in the past when, back in the day when we were going out a lot, like you would, I knew you were ready to go home when you only, we would only talk to me. And you were just like me. It's always like that though.

And now it's Jordan. And now it's Jordan and now it's Liv. And like on the trip it was Alex, Matt and Lauren. Like I just wanted to like talk to you guys. And like if another guy tried to like come in and like take time away from me talking to my friends, then I would get sad and annoyed and then he would rue. But I need to be better just being like more open I guess Yeah, cuz one was also I had sex

Am I in a drought? I am in a little bit of a drought. I had sex last month You would have had sex this weekend if we weren't in the room Like if we weren't all staying in one room together You would have had I had a feeling that was gonna happen That that I would be confronted with Dick and I wouldn't be able to conquer it because of the rooming situation. I mean, that's fair.

If you had gone to bed with him while we were outside by the fire, but you didn't wanna miss the friendship time. Yeah, I didn't wanna miss the friendship. Also, I'm not a quick fuck. Oh? It would have been a whole night thing. Period.

A production. You do go until four in the morning. Yeah. She'll text me and be like, I'm just going to bed now. It's like nine a.m. I'm like, what were you doing? She's like, I was fucking all day.

It's nine a.m. What? You're going to work on a random Wednesday. I'll be like, I haven't slept yet. Yeah, no, this is actually true. Hallie, it was 11 a.m. No, yeah, I remember, and I took a meetup with it was 11 a.m. No, yeah, I remember. And I took a meetup with my parents.

Yeah, I was like strung the fuck out. It's like in the office. I had bruises all over my body. My neck was like broken. I was like hanging from the chandeliers, chain smoking cigarettes all night between like having sex on the rug. Because he was afraid of beds. Mike and legs were all like cut up.

Oh, my God. I had low all like caught up. Oh my God. I had low iron too, so I still do, but like, I was really bruised. You having sex is like someone going to war. Like I'm actually, like, it is. It's like me being kidnapped. I'm like low key an animal. Traged across the coast.

I'm like animalistic. Yeah. I don't know. Either that or I'm like a dead fish. Or I'm just like a dainty fucking flower. I don't know. I'm also just like can be thrown around easily. Yeah.

Yeah. You kind of need a lot of muscle behind picking me up. muscle just like can be thrown around easily. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. You kind of need a lot of muscle behind picking me up. I wasn't implying that by the way. What? There needs to be a lot of muscle to pick you up. Oh, I didn't think that you were. I think a really skinny man could pick me up.

I think so too. I think Jordan could throw me the fucking roof. Jordan. And make an imprint. Jordan would throw her literally through like to the roof deck. Wait, can we talk about the lake house? And you'd be like, you're odd. You're so odd.

Oh, when I hit on Liv's boyfriend before they were dating. Before they were dating. Yeah, I was so high and I'm not good high. And I was like, the whole story makes it seem like you get high all the. And I'm not good high. And I was like. This whole story makes it seem like you get high all the time. I know. She does not get high all the time. No, it doesn't smoke weed.

There's very few. And these are reasons why I don't. Exactly. This is one of them. Exactly. We were all playing cards. We were all so stoned. I was trying to fit in with the boys and be so pick me

and smoke with the boys. I got really stoned with the boys and I just like looked at Lauren's friend who is now dating Liv. He's very attractive. And I just like had thought in my mind as I was looking, I was like, you're hot. No, but she like, she's kind of like sitting back

into like a sunken couch and she gets up, just physically stood up. I don't remember this part. I think you're so hot. And then I sat back down and no one reacted because everyone was high too. And Lauren was just like, that was really embarrassing. And I was not.

So I was like taking it all in. Watching it. I was like. It's like maybe later. Yeah. And he was like, he's like scared of me. He might be. No, like he used to be, maybe not anymore now that we know him well.

Right. But like he used to like look at me like, like he's so scared. Like as if I was gonna bite his head off. Ali. Am I a scary person? No, he's just so like, he's so. He's just so sweet.

He's just so sweet. Yeah, and I'm like aggressive, I guess. Yeah, and he's the one I used to it. And he was like- He looks at me like this. Like how you look at strangers on the street. Yeah. Yeah.

Like homeless men that scream at you. And you're like- Yeah. Yep. That was funny. That was funny. We're gonna run that back. Yeah, we're gonna run that back.

So much fun. Okay, Lauren. Hi. That was a. We're going to run that back. Yeah, we're going to run that back. So much fun. OK, Lauren. Hi. That was a beautiful episode. And I just love sharing all these memories. We have to share more together. OK, we will.

I think we will. If a bus doesn't hit me fucking tomorrow. Our problem is that we actually, we in, how do I say this? We always have so much shit to talk about. But then when we actually come and sit down, it's all happening in the moment. And we're like, we need to get better at writing it down. I was so good about writing things down on that trip.

You were writing everything down. I was like, write that down. Skrbbl, skrbbl, skrbbl. Imagine I come out with a pen and a pencil. No, yeah. You should just bring your computer every like, you should have brought your computer to Scorpio's and we should have been building that episode right then and there. But anyways, we're going to make this into two episodes because we didn't realize how much we were yapping for. So come back

next week for the second half. We talked about... There was no stopping us. There was no stopping us this episode. I'm scared for the text I'm gonna receive, but this is fun. As always, you can watch me on YouTube. Like, subscribe, comment. I love you guys and as always, I'll see you next week and this was so much fun. Bye. Lauren, say goodbye. Bye.

Goodbye, Kyle. Love you guys.