Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Nantucket weekend scares us *ft. Graydon!*

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

Gradey-poo is at the bar this week... and we are not doing anything casually!!! 👩‍❤️‍👨 Hallie and Graydon recount the night before that landed them at the bloody-mary-induced podcast episode: asking a man to whip out his d*ck, liking drinks with clam juice, and FINALLY getting Graydon's perspective from the French Billionaire. They review their list of summer ins and outs, why Nantucket weekend for Memorial Day Weekend scares them, TRY to compliment each other, and end with a nasty round of never have I ever. Enjoy babes!! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What's your favorite restaurant in Bucket? There's a lot of places I haven't been. Because, like, obviously we're creatures of habit. Yeah. My parents are creatures of habit. And I'm creatures of going wherever they go because they pay for us. Let's get extra dirty. Guys, we have a really exciting guest today.

He's tall. He's sexy. And he's made me finish many times. Welcome, Graydon. I'm back. He's back. Back at the bar. I haven't been here in so long.

You know, are you happy to be back? Yeah. Did you miss me? I saw you last week. Oh. Do you like coming to New York? No. So why'd you come?

To see you. Aw. Now, I don't like coming here, but once I'm here, it's fun for two nights. And then I get stressed out and I have to leave. We had a big night last night. The thing is with me and Graydon is like neither of us know one to call it a night. We will be at the post game. I don't want to go home.

No, I just don't like when I close my eyes and like the night's over. I know. Like, what's it? What's like, I want to hang out with people. I know, unless I'm tired. Like, I don't like silence. Which is always. You notice that because I sleep with headphones on.

Yeah. When you're with me. Well, usually it's your TV. Well, I was being respectful. But I ain't the one. Yeah, you were just stimming out. It's fine. Grayden thinks I'm like slightly autistic.

Could be. No, like, he thinks I'm slightly autistic. Could I take my glasses off? Yeah, show them your beautiful eyes. They're bloodshot. So we went to dinner last night, and it wasn't casual at all. I had, let me count how many martinis I had. I had 19.

So our martinis. Let me just see how many martinis I had. Go. I think I had seven. How many think I had? I don't think I had seven. No, you switched to wine, and then you went back to liquor, which is diabolical. I actually felt like fine this morning.

I felt worse. I don't feel good. We woke up. You shared a bed with me last night, and you didn't put a... A lesbian border. A lesbian border between us. No, I did. And then I moved it.

Where'd you move it? You take up the whole fucking bed. That's not true. That's true. I woke up and your whole body was in the middle of the thing. Well, I'm a big boy. You have a queen bed, first of all. Who has a queen?

You need to get upgrade. Wait, but like I live in New York. You can't fit king-sized beds everywhere, and I need the space. You could fit it. You just wouldn't have a night stand. I like the nightstands. Where do you think I keep all my dildars? I know I saw them.

Why were you going through my drawers? Wait, last night, Hallie and I were with Hallie's friend, and he was in the middle of us in the bed. Like, it felt like we were about to have a three-way. And Hallie whips out a bottle of lube. And I was like, oh, is this happening? Okay.

It's my favorite lube. It has, it has, it has, like, toys in it. It had toys in it. There was trinkets in the lube. There was, like, a dice roll. Yeah, it was very interesting. And, like, a horseshoe.

Like, little, like, action figures in the lube and like you shake it up and it looks like a snow globe yeah yeah so graden this guy who have blessed before he came over and i don't know what he thought was gonna happen i was like gradient's here like what did you think we were gonna bang like the kitchen or something all of us you asked him to about his dick yeah and he meant it was bored whatever maybe he wanted an icel tower you i would never like want to see your doubt i would never want you to see it and i don't want to see your clam um i'm i can't get over the clam joke so we were just making a bloody mary and i was like i really like i really like my bloody marries

with clam juice like clamato they do it in canada it's called what he french okay i really like my bloody marries with clam juice and how i was like and howley was like and howley and howley Why? Why is that so funny to me? I can't even say it. I was like, I really like my bloody mary's with clam juice. I've never seen him laugh like this. And Hallie was like, okay, I'll just sit on it.

Like, that's so foul and fucking disgusting. But it's so funny. It's so funny. Oh, my God. All right, can we talk? We're the French billionaire. Yeah, I still wanted to laugh, but okay. We'd have ruined the fucking moment.

I'm, like, crying. I'm kidding. We're giggle-matching. Oh, my God. Okay. I want to go over the things that have happened since. I'm picturing you sitting on a jar. You sitting on the cup.

That's what I'm picturing. Like Kim Kardashian with the Springles can. You put it in her buzz? Yeah. Chris Humphreys tweeted that 2011. Okay, journalist. I'm just get myself together. So let's go back in time.

Okay. So when was the last time you came on the show? Don't remember. It was probably like... In the fall? In the fall. You're a bad friend. Fuck you, bitch.

So what's happened since the fall? Who have you blessed and who have I blessed since the fall? Me, a lot of people. Because I'm a very giving person and a people pleaser. Yes. You, you're more selective. I can't really remember, to be honest. Crickets.

This is the problem. I actually could think of a few people, but you probably don't want to talk about them. They'll probably kill me. No, they'd probably kill you. Like, do you hook up with, like, DL people that are like, I'll kill you if you'd tell anyone. No, this was somebody I knew. You don't hook up with strangers? Not always.

Sometimes I hook up with strangers. And that's okay. You think I've been a war lately? You were in Austin. That was, can we talk about it? You guys, Hallie was a hoe in Austin. This was, like, two months ago. I was like, something has gotten into her.

Well, obviously, something was into her. but wait so we are there for the unwell south by southwest which is like a work convention like there's a lot of people walking around with like badges badges they look like policemen and button downs and button downs but i was talking about the jankiest of characters yes one i definitely shouldn't have hooked up with and i've been doing this thing recently where like they'll be inside of me like midway through, I'll decide I'm too drunk or like I'm not into it and I'll just make them get outside of me. And I love to leave.

I go, you will go. I don't do cuddling. And I've also revisited a couple people I've been hooked up with in the past six years. And I'm like starting to answer booty calls now. It's like just down. There's this one guy, this one of the sober guys I used to get with. I love a sober guy. No, I love sober day.

Or someone in recovery is, like, kind of hot. No, like, he used to do, like, hardcore drugs. Yeah. And I just think something about someone that, like, has gone, has seen some shit. There's something about that's hot about that. Yeah. But I also think they switch their bite. Like, they switch their bite.

They replace it with something. With sex, usually. And it's, like, usually hot. Like, what? What, besides sex, what would it be? Like, cigarettes? No. Like, that.

Didn't I just say that? No, I said that. I'm like, what else? What other vice? Well, that's what I was thinking. Okay. Yeah. Well, say your words that you're thinking.

Oh, my God. I need to go to the hospital. I don't feel good. We always do this all over. What the fuck are we talking about? No, what are we fucking, we're talking about South by Southwest, and I was a hoe at the hoe down. I was a hoe at the hoe down.

Yes, you were being a horror. And that's okay. I had a lot of scurries after that trip. It's because I had no female there to babysit me. I had a great time in Austin. You don't, like, pull me away from bad decisions. Oh. I'm not your fucking mom.

I know, but I need... You want me to come into the bed while you're fornicating and fucking take you off? Or, like, if I'm going home with a guy or making out with a random stranger at a bar, and you'd be like, hey. I'm not going to yuck your yum. Oh, my God, you don't yuck my yum. If he was disgusting, yeah, I would be like, this isn't happening. Yeah.

But usually, they're not. Not. Well, they never are. No, they're... Sorry. Do you ever like a beefy guy? Like a husky boy? Like a linebacker? Not really muscular.

Like, there's something to hold on to, like husky. I, like, worried that they would break me. Like, I would... I don't know if I hooked up with... I'm actually surprised you've never been, like, actually had a bone broken. Why am I having sex? Yeah, like your femur or something.

Honestly, same. You know? Very impressive. Yeah, but no, I don't like a husky guy. I usually like, but I don't like a really skinny guy either. I've hooked up with guys that have dad bods. I've hooked up with dads. Yeah.

And then we went to Miami, so me and great I've been doing this thing, like, what are we been talking about right now? Me and we've been doing this thing where we like escape our realities, although we're just an influencer, so like, what are we really escaping? But we like to escape the weather. The weather's been really affecting my serotonin production. This winter almost killed me. and it was really hard.

I've had a really hard winter. And some people say I'm dramatic. I think it's a real thing. No, yeah. It's just been like extra gloomy. And I've been drinking a lot. I'm fine now. Well, I'm not fine at this moment.

I don't feel good. But like, my mood's fine now. No, yeah, because it's 80 degrees outside right now. Yeah, and it's not like the dead of winter. You should go to my rooftop after this and... Oh, my God. I don't know you had a roof. Does it have a pool?

No, but there's a pool in the basement. Okay. Okay, that's a lot different than a pool on a roof. I'm not going in the fucking basement. Do you a sauna? In the basement. Okay, that's fine, but I'm not swimming in a basement. There's a whole office down there.

There's a pool. There's a kid's playroom. Thank God, there's an office. What are we going to do fucking work? It's giving real estate. There's an office. Thank God. You guys, my apartment has an office.

All right, can we go back to Miami? Like, what are we talking about? All right, so we went to Miami this winter, and me and Grady and Jane, just like needed to go on a trip and we were sending her stay after, what was it, heber Mayo, it was a brand trip I was on. Yeah. And I had you come at the end.

Well, I just showed up. I was invited. Yeah, he just showed up to the brand trip. And then we stayed and then flights were getting canceled and it was like food and wine fest and whatever. And then the guy that got me flowers on Valentine's Day, the creepy French billionaire. That's not a French billionaire. He's not French or a billionaire. We were like really fraughted.

We were frauded. We got scammed. Yeah. Honestly, he's going to be on Netflix. It's going to be a Netflix documentary in a couple years. Yeah. Apparently, he tells everyone we dated. Isn't that crazy?

I'm sorry. I know. I'm tainted. Yeah, looking back, that was embarrassing. That was really embarrassing, but you really wanted to go to the Bahamas. And I was about... Someone says, private plane, Bahamas, free. You go.

Yeah, but you're not the one that's, like... He was like, you must share a room with me. He was like, you must suck my dick. Yeah, that's why it's great for me because I don't. Also, you wouldn't do that. Suck his dick? No, you wouldn't just, like, lead him on and we'd get a trip. But, like, I would have gone if, like, he was, like, really, like, tell them the things he was saying to me.

I have a list in my phone, actually. Bring out the list. Hallie sat on Graden's lap, and he got very, very upset. He walked away. Mm-hmm. He said to me, if I saw his dick, I'd be like, whoa. I was like, yeah, referred to gay people as homos all night long. He was just in his accent.

He was like, you are homo. He was like, you are homo? Also, apparently he was fake, right? Repeatedly yelling at Hallie to get off her phone all dinner. He, like, almost cried about that. Telling Hallie, she has to make sweet love to him all night, there's no option. Which is like a threat. I think we call that sexual assault.

No, yeah. You look at him and you go. That's illegal in America. Yeah, you can't do that. Got mad at Hallie for saying she's had more anal than Graden. He was mad. No, he was so mad. He was cutting up Holly's steak, feeding it to her.

Take tea. I hate cutting steak. Okay, that's it. Okay. It was scary. And then we threatened to sue me. And then we left. And then we left.

But honestly, we got really tan on that trip. So tan. I have skin cancer now, but we got really tan. You got scarred. Okay, let's play a game. I'm going to think of a word, and I'll think of a word, and then we're going to try to get the middle. Do you have the word?

Mine's two words, actually. Three, two, one, lip filler. Now what? I'm so confused. I said horse and you said lip filler. How can we possibly think of the same word? That's the point of the game, you fucking idiot. All right, horse and lip filler.

Three, two, one. Oklahoma You're so it's a same word Do you want to try another one? Yeah Okay Three two one

Banana implants Okay Wait hold on I need a second to think Banana implant Okay Three two one

BBL Okay at least We're in the same similar category We're on a body now Tiddy fuck BBL Okay three two one Miami

Bukaki What is Bukaki? You don't know what a Bukaki is No You've done it multiple times Probably What is it

Like a facial Oh okay Facial in Miami Okay Three two Wait hold on Okay now you need time It facial in Miami

That's like my February Three two, one, stripper. Real housewives. Stripper, Real Housewives. Oh, I have one. Three, two, one. Brindley, Glenville.

Larsa Pippin. Okay, Larsa Pippin and Brandy Glantville. We're staying in Miami. Like, why do you want a fucking Beverly Hills. Now we're both in Real Housewives. It'll hear us that way. Wait, hold on. We can do this.

Okay. What are those two have in common? Yeah. Three, two, one, real health wives. My God. Why wouldn't you say housewives? They're both housewives. Why would you say?

What are they have in common? Andy Cohen. They have a lot in common. This game fucking sucks. Okay. Warm up game. Summer ends and outs. In why?

These are hard. No, they're not. Okay. Espresso martini for the summer. I don't, that's an out for me. I'm not a big espresso martini fan. They gave me the craziest fucking hangovers ever. Once I got really, really fucked up,

drank like four espresso martinis, went back to my apartment, and just threw up all over my bed. And I never do that. In your bed? In my bed. Oh yeah. Once that happens,

you can never drink what you did. Yeah. So I was like, absolutely not. I'm never drinking espresso martinis again. They make me feel wired in a bad way. Yeah, I think they're out. Oh, okay.

Pickle ball. Oh. I don't have the hand-eye coordination. I'm very cross-eyed. Working out on vacation. Never. Well, I would never. No.

I don't. I don't think so. I mean, on vacation, I feel like I'm walking along. I'm going to walk. Yeah, outside. Like, remember that time we went to Fort Lauderdale. We were staying in the swamp.

Yeah. Oh, I miss the swamp. We were swamp maxing. Whenever I walked somewhere, I'm like, I can't believe I just did that. No, I know. I'm like really. I go like this. Yeah, it's like, whoa.

It's like a crazy feeling. No, it's like, wow. It's walking somewhere instead of driving somewhere. I know. It's a ride off. Yeah. I don't understand. Fourth of July barbecues.

In. In. The best part. I want to hog on. Wait, you guys, Fagawi is next weekend. By the time you're listening to this, we have already been blacked out at Fagawi. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. What's your favorite part about Fagawi in Nantuck in general? It's just like a feeling in the air. Also, they have a different climate, even though it's like only an hour ferry ride. The climate, like compared to the Cape, it's just like different. It's an island, of course. But the Cape is essentially an island too.

Really? Yeah, well, Peninsula. There's a bridge. What's a peninsula? Like not an island. Okay. What else do you like about Nantuck? What do you like about Fagawi?

It's like, well, it's... Can you explain what Fagawi is? Fagawi is a regatta on Nantucket. It's a regatta. You don't know what a fucking regatta is? What? Who do you think I am? A vergaada?

Is that like... You're like partially from Nantucket. A vergaada is like a big sailboat race. He's sailboat shaming. I am appalled. Continue on your fucking brigada. Sophia Brigada. Like the actress?

Is he okay? Oh my God. You're on a roll. that I am done with you. It's like a sailboat race, but nobody watches the race. You just fucking, you just get buckled for 40th Street. And it's like so fun. Are you excited?

What's your favorite restaurant, Ann Tucket? What's your favorite restaurant, bitch? I don't know. There's a lot of places I haven't been. Man. There's a lot of places I haven't been, too. Because, like, obviously we're creatures of habit. Yeah.

My parents are creatures of habit. And I'm creatures of going wherever they go because they pay for us. Yeah. Sea girls amazing. They have great food. Sea girls, the best food on island. Although I should keep that. Vibe wise.

Crew. Crew. Bybe wise crew. I like galley, sunset, white elephant, clam chowder, Ventuno, pasta, and wine. We don't go to Ventuno a lot. I do like their wine selection. Not to be a fucking snobby cun. But I do love their selection of fine cabernets and kiantes.

And Shubli. And Shibli. Oh, we Shabli Max all summer long. Do you remember which one it is? Or will they remember? I don't know. I just know it was $420. Yeah.

My dad shut down that house account. I know. So maybe we won't be drinking Shibbley the summer. No. Or you might have to suck someone off to do it. Every time you went to crew, there's so many suckable people in there. For you, not for me. Well, I had a crush on the song last summer, but apparently he has a wife.

It's never stopped you before. Oh, yes, it has. If you're married, I'm not going to hook up with you. What if you don't know? Then I don't know, and then I do it. Has that ever happened? Married? No.

I don't think I've ever gotten with the married man. I feel like you have. No offense. What were we talking about? That was fun. Let's keep that going to keep that going. Yeah, we. Okay.

Did you like that game that you said was going to be really hard? Oh, this was in and out. Okay, let's move on then. Chilled red wine. In. Wine is supposed to be at 69 degrees, 62. I don't know, you're like the pro. I don't think it should be super cold.

I was in Napa a couple years ago and I was like, is red wine, how do you feel about chilled red wine? And they were like, love it. Okay. So like I feel like it's fine. In. Okay. Spritz is, which one's lemoncella, apparel, Hugo?

I need to talk about a spritz for a second. Okay. This is my personal opinion. Don't come from me because I know the girls like love a sprit. Spritzes are so fucking out. They're a waste of money. They do not get you drunk. There's club soda in a sprits.

I don't want club soda. I just want champagne and the apprault. You drink mixed drinks all the time. But there's vodka in it. That's what I'm saying. Why are we mixing Prisca with a club soda? Okay, but like sprits is like a gateway drink. It's like a fun.

Like I'm sitting outside. I want to get too fucked up. Like I'm enjoying the one. weather like it's sunny out it's beautiful out like let's have a sprit so i don't get fucking hammered it's a gateway drink it's a drink you drink before you go to the hard no i think it's a waste money my idea of a spritz is basically just like a really strong vodka soda kettle one a really strong kettle one soda just in wine glass with a with a lime that's just a cocktail in a wine glass do you want a fucking fight right now bitch next question

than three minutes. A voice note shouldn't be longer than like 40 seconds. At that point, just call me. Would you rather a long text though or a long voice note? I'd rather a long voice note. Yeah, or just call me. Yeah. Early dinners are in, especially in a weekday.

Especially if you're from Boston, so early dinners are a thing there. I'm not from Boston, you are. You're from fucking Massachusetts. Same liquor laws. Yeah. Do what a fight or fuck? Yeah. So we pretend to fight?

Yeah. Let me grab your hat actually and go like this. Wait, make sure your hair moves around though. There you go. Get up ho. Oh my god. Oh my god. Remember Bad Girls Club?

Is that what it was called? Are we still paying the game? Yes, we're just doing intermission. Okay, we're taking a little intermission. Yeah. I just need a little bit more. This is actually making me feel much better. Is he okay? Okay, is he okay?

I'm not okay. Like I started off this episode being like, we have so much to catch up on, and he can't even string a fucking sentence together. You go, oh my God. Life is just crazy, huh? What? I'll put this on the floor. Did you just use your sunglasses?

Can you do mine? Yeah, did the other one. Look at my skin cancer. It's less like pink. lick I mean suck I just heard that in the back of your throat notice how I didn't gag

okay let's do a slip a sip clip let's do some ASMR okay take a sip ew I don't like that

okay next digital camera picks what digital camera I have beef with like a Canon G7X why you're an influencer no I'm not what are you

just a boy your job is work with brands and they pay you to promote themselves. You influence the masses. Back to the camera. Okay. Group trips. Love if it's the right group. So in if it's not too big of a group. What's the max?

I would say the max is eight total. Okay. Bachelor at parties. Depends what we're doing. Like are you wearing a veil? Are you wearing a sash? The sash is so fucked up. Anyone that I'm looking directly into the camera actually right now. Anyone that wears bride to fucking be with a crown on

wearing all white, prancing around Nashville needs to be sued and should pay for the whole trip. Yeah. I'm sorry, that's just not it. It's all too much. I'm sorry to be a hater, but I have to say it. It's too much. What do you think?

I agree. Baseball cap. I can't wear them, but yeah, love. I look great in a hat. I only look good in like a trucker. I think I look great in a hat because I'm bald. No, you're not. Picnics.

Like cute if you invite me, but like... I've been in a picnic and... Yeah, like, I'm not going to like be like, oh, let me get the ingredients to set up a picnic. Yeah. I mean, would you consider that a beach, like a beach lunch? Like you're at the beach, you have a sandwich, you have some fruit. Is that a picnic? I'm called like Mekanos.

Yeah. Would you consider that a picnic? Yeah. Okay. Then yeah, like Mekinos. Yeah. Large sunglasses. In.

In a big way. Yeah. pun intended Puntended Soft serve ice cream I don't have the biggest sweet tooth But like a dairy queen twist Up my ass immediately

You know Yeah I feel like softserv's always in Yeah 0.5 selfies in 0.5 selfies out You guys the next time you guys see me I might get my neck done I'm not kidding

You are I don't know if you should do that I just want to look like this Bermuda shorts Why are you looking down here Ask if I'm wearing fucking Bermudas. What's a Bermuda short? Amina shorts are like the long.

They go right over your knee and like. Okay, yeah. I think that's more for a girl. In, I don't think you should buy them. Shakura Awards. In! In! I love a coochie board.

A coochie board for like dinner, honestly. No, honestly, a cushy board at the picnic in Mekanos. Yeah. Photo dumps. Always in. In. Hard, but in. Butter yellow.

The bitch just love butter yellow these days. I know, I feel like butter yellow was like asked me last May. I feel like out. I think blue is in. Blue is my favorite color. Yeah, blue or green. I love blue. I love green.

Floral patterns. Out. In what sense? On clothes? Everywhere. I don't even like floral patterns at gardens. They don't like floral patterns. Like visually, aesthetically, I don't like flowers.

Oh, I love flowers. Why? Really? Like a floral. floral print on furniture? Only sunflowers make me happy. What about like an upholstered, florally pillow? Not like a home goods ass pillow, like a nice.

I mean, I think the things that make me happy are different than things that make you happy. And that's okay. Like a great vibrator makes me happy. Does the ocean make you happy? You know how I feel about the ocean. The sound of it's nice. Yeah, but like looking at it,

it doesn't calm you down. It doesn't make you feel like it. No, I do like it, but you know how I am at beaches. Yeah. He's stim. I stim. I like freak out. It's really, really, really, I will be honest.

It's really, really hard having a friend who doesn't like the beach. I don't. I like the idea of it. I don't like no access to bathrooms. It makes me so sad because, like, in the summer I'm at the beach. I like the Mekanos beach. For seven hours straight by myself. The Mekonos Beach was my dream.

Well, yeah, because you had a chair and like a phone charger and like a chair, phone charger. They kept coming to our table being like, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want? that there was a bathroom right there it's really hard for me yeah um we had to go back to mecanose eventually yeah can we stop talking about it because like I'll go back all right let's do a second main questions for besties bar confessions what's something you've never told me that you can confess to me now I'm actually you were like I'm trans you'd love me either way

I love you. And you'd probably like take me to the plastic surgeon and tell me to get like the biggest tip. Yeah. One time I filed my taxes and I wrote that I was deaf and blind. This was years ago when I was crazy. Don't do that, by the way. So I committed tax fraud.

Granted I made like five grand for the whole year. So they gave me money. I got a tax credit. I feel like you're committing to a crime. It was I was like legit 17. Who cares. Okay. I'm trying to think of something I've never told you.

Oh, wait. I have another one. Okay. My priest who baptized me went to prison. Okay. That's really scary. But he didn't do anything to me. My parents said.

What did he do? Use your imagination. It's actually sick. I don't think I want to use my imagination. Yeah. Wrong words. Wrong words to use. It's probably the last thing I want to do right now is to use my imagination.

Okay. Now I'm using. Okay. Did you know that? I feel like you've told me that before. Oh. Once a guy in Miami told me to put a wine stopper in my ass. Did you do it?

And I did it and I sent him a picture. Once I sent a picture of my, once I, yeah, once I sent a picture of my clam for a reservation at Zizi. Oh yeah, the night in Miami we went. Yeah. Yeah. I saw the picture. Actually, I brought you on the reservation. I probably saw you take the picture.

Also, there was nobody there, so, like, we did not need a reservation. I did not need to send that nude. I don't say nudes anymore, though, ever since I got hacked. Which I'm, like, still waiting for those to drop. But. That's really fucked up. Is that Kav? Yeah, would you fuck Klav?

Like, no. No. I'm glad we're aligned on that. I think that... No. He's also really young. Oh. Is it 20?

I don't know. very interesting. Anyway, next. Yeah, sorry, I don't know. What is an item of clothing that I own that you secretly don't like? It's probably just like a sweatshirt I've seen too many times. I've never seen that.

I really haven't. I think this one's cool. It's a bald eagle on it. Reminds me of myself. You think I'm really funny today, don't you? You are. I'm why? You own that I don't like is your airmen slides.

You don't like my chipper. What are they called? I don't know. I don't speak fucking that language. French, Italian. Somewhere in the middle. Well, I got new ones, so great. Which one of us is more late? Like our period?

Like late on arrival? Probably me. We're pretty punctual people. Yeah, I'm like, I care about not wasting other people's time. I was 20 minutes late to this recording today, but I blame the massive truck. The traffic.

And I apologize immediately to my beautiful Nia. Okay. We're punctual. My girl. We are very punctual. It's a sign of respect. It is a sign of respect. And a lot of people don't get that.

Yeah. A lot of people are fucking disrespectful, okay? Disrespectful swine cunts. You're crazy. You like it. What was your first impression of the other? My first impression was, wow, that guy's fucking tall. And I was like, wow, his skin is really good.

Thank you so much. Thank you. My first impression of you was like Damn, she's yossified I had a lot of filler back in the day You did and you were very like But then I couldn't stop getting Lut filler I was addicted to it

Yeah, your lips were like touching your nose I gotta miss it I feel like you should just get like half ML No, Griden looks at me the other day And he goes, I think you should consider getting more lip filler again I go I'm like, do you think you'd ever get like a little bit more lip filler? Is my body not perfect in your eyes?

We're not talking about your body. We're talking about your lips. My lips are part of my body. Your bottom lip is big. I think it's just reminiscent and like nostalgic. Good answer. You know? No, you think it looks like a fucking deflated balloon.

No. I just miss it. You miss my filled lips. Well, I don't miss the six syringes you had in your lips, but I think you could use like half. All right. I'll book the appointment. Should we go to Lexar Axe when we go to Nantucket?

Won't you be swollen all weekend? That's the best part of getting your ups done is being swollen. Oh. That was honestly the best part of getting them taken out. Yeah, let's do it. I'll text her right now. Maybe after the show. But like, if you had to live as me for 24 hours, what is the first thing you would do?

I don't know. I would, like, open my top cabinet as you. Oh, my God, that's a really good one. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I would just, like, reach for something. Yeah. Like above the refrigerator or something?

Yeah. Like you would be perfect in my apartment. Yeah, because it's tall, ceilings, tall cabinets. Very high ceilings, very beautiful, crown molding, yeah. That's actually a great one. I would, if I was you, it's like be in your head. Like to know it goes through your brain.

Honestly, I don't know if you'd want to be in my body for a day. No, I would... That's the correct answer. I would just need a little glimpse, I think, and I'd probably be like, I'm good. Would you ever... like want to know what it feels like to get like fucked. I've always wanted to know like

what it feels like to fuck. Oh yeah. You know? If I were you I would... The key I have the hole. Yeah. It would be nice to know what it feels like to have the key. Yeah. I'd say you could borrow mine but like you can't. Yeah, if I had a strap on like I could be a key to a hole. Yeah, but you wouldn't be able to feel it.

I don't think male orgasms feel as good as female ones. Definitely not. I feel like that's scientific. That's probably why they're harder to get. I think it is scientifically proven and I think women's are longer. Well, you can just keep getting them and they become stronger and stronger and stronger. You like explode. Literally. That's what you feel like.

What are you just, we're talking about it? You just fucking explode. Have you ever had sex on E? Because let me just tell you. Or Molly. I've never known either. Okay, well, I've been both. Back in the day, I've done both.

Don't they say you're not supposed to? Because it's so good. Yeah, and then like anything else. will be not as good, correct? I mean, that's just like, is that a myth? Philosophical, honestly. But, well, yeah, I think that's probably

just warning people not to do drugs. Yeah. But once I was in Miami, we're going to space. We did a bunch of E. What's the difference between ecstasy and Molly? One of them is more pure, but I don't know which one. I think Molly's more pure. I think ecstasy.

Okay, well, 50-50. I actually, like, I actually can. And so I took it and literally every nerve ending I'm not promoting doing drugs by the way like every nerve ending on your body is like you feel just like everything every touch be like everything. Like drinking water like you just feel very hot and sweaty and like in a good way like your body's hot like and you just want up up. So I went with this guy this guy from Amsterdam and he fingering me on the stage or finger me at the table. And then I made a sex tape. Oh. Anyways, that was so...

I'm losing steam, you guys. No, you're not. What if I just slapped you recipes? No. Do you fight again? Oh, sorry. I just needed to get that out of the way. I don't know.

I feel like it just sounded like we were having sex. What is one thing you admire about me? Oh, God, here we go. Did you write that? You snuck that in? You are... What am I? I don't like how long it's...

For you to think of something. You are so... What was the question? One more time. What's my favorite treat? No, what's one thing you admire about me? When you say something, you do it. Like, give me an example.

Like, you don't really... I feel like you just meet you. something up on the spot because you couldn't think of anything else. No, no, no, like you're true to your word. Yeah. Like if you're planned to, you do it. Yes. Unless like...

You're not flaky. You're not flinky. If you say you're going somewhere and then like say a few months later, like you don't want to do it anymore, you still go. What my turn? I admire about you is your ability to stay common neutral in a lot of situations that probably piss you off. Oh my God.

Because I don't have that ability. My fuse is shorter than Kevin Hart. So I used to have a really short fuse. You don't know me in high school, but I used to fucking go out to people in the cafeteria and be like, fuck you, bitch, if they fucked with me. Now it's like...

I've never seen you, like, had conflict or talk shit. Also, that's something I admire about you. Well, I do, like, good energy. Do I not give good... I only like to talk shit if somebody, if, one, it's warranted, and two, like, if they did something to me. But I'm not going to, like, talk.

What if they've done something to someone you love? Yeah, I'll be like, fuck that bitch. You're also extremely loyal and you're extremely handsome. And I also admire the relationship you have with my family. Oh, thanks. You're like my adopted sibling. Yeah. I mean, they love me.

They love you. It's easy when they love you, you know. And I can totally don't like one of my friends. And they do not. They're vocal about people they don't like that are my life. life. Yeah. They love you. Oh, I love them. Anyways, next question. And I love getting compliments. I could give you compliments all day. It took you probably 30 minutes of this episode to think of something to say and you, it was barely anything. Oh my God, do you want me to do another? Yeah. I give you

seven just now. You are, you'll fucking ride. Like you don't like that. Like remember when the guy called when the sky in the street called me Jackson Mojones and I didn't get the joke because like, I don't know who the fuck Mahomes is. And Hallie got the joke. And she like cussed this guy out. And then I was like, Holly, why are you being so mean? I was like, why are you being a bitch?

Like, chill. And you were like, he just roasted you. Well, so he had a friend behind him recording, the interaction being, and some guy came up to green being like, oh my God, Jackson Mahomes. Like. No, he goes, are you Jackson Mahomes?

And I was like, like, this guy was chirping the fuck out of him. And I go, no, are you fucking, like short little fucking twink ass? Like I went in for his neck. That happened in Palm Beach, too. Oh, yeah. Why is everyone coming for me last year?

Yeah. But I defend you immediately. I know. It's just funny that I thought you were, I was like, oh my God, like, why you've been so mean? Meanwhile, you're, like, defending me. I do get, you're like. I do get extremely defensive over, like, people I care about. Yeah.

I mean, anybody would. Actually, some people don't get defensive, but. I just, like, don't believe in being Switzerland and being neutral. Yeah. And a situation. Yeah, like, I would beat someone up for you. Yeah. You would?

Yeah. I think I could looky, like, fuck someone up. I really think so. Show me, like, your best punch. Like, I have good form. I feel like I'm much stronger than I give myself credit for. I'm, like, loki fucking jacked. You've been strong your whole life.

I'm very vascular. Like, I was, like, at Beres yesterday. And I was lifting. Humble brag. Humble brag. that buried. I was just like lifting these 12 pound dumbbells. And I was like, damn, not a job.

Can you throw a punch? Or would you be like, oh. No, my trainer wants me to get into boxing. You should go to everybody fights. My friend Molly's a trainer there. She's really good. Is it public? It is public, but you have to get over.

I really need to get over it. We're not like fucking Leonardo DiCaprio. No, it's not that complex I have. No, I've had anxiety. I have gym anxiety too. I haven't been in classes in a long time. And I'm trying to get over. I have insecurity in the gym because I'm new and I don't know what I'm doing.

That's why I canceled Equinox was because I was like, I need to go to a class where people are telling me what to do. I can't just like go to a gym and like go to like lift something. I can go to the gym and walk on a treadmill. That's it. That's it. And it's so embarrassing. Also, I'm so tall. I also have a tall complex and I, which I guess this is kind of true, I am like a fucking traffic cone everywhere I go.

No, like honestly, going out with you is like... Everyone always... Recognizes you because you're so tall. Everyone always looks at me because they're like, obviously when you see someone tall, you're like trying to see who it is. So everybody's always looking. Let alone what? They are because I'm so fucking big. No, like the funniest part is like when you like try to wear like a hat and like a hoodie and like try to hide and people are like, like, read it.

Yeah. Do you think it makes me look more obvious? It makes you like way more obvious. I should start wearing like a suit. Why? I don't know. Like maybe you'll think I'm like a businessman. I don't think I've ever seen him in a suit.

Yeah, we haven't been to a, no, at the Boston Ball like years ago in a talk. You're so handsome. I look good in a suit. You need like a, I feel like I need to see you in like a double breasted. Like I'm double breasted obviously, but like I'm going to see you in a double breasted situation. Okay, maybe for Fish's wedding. Oh wait, I have to wear with the, I forgot. I'm like in that wedding.

Sorry ASMR Oh my god The bloody What are you gonna do after this? I'm either gonna go back to your apartment And lay down You just lay down in there

Or I'll just wait with you I prefer you do that I feel better but like All right let's New York stresses me out dude Like I'm so stressed out honestly Let's play never have I ever And you go first

Something I haven't done Never have I ever had a threesome with two men or they Eiffel Tower me? You've never done that? I mean, I've done stuff with twins, but I've never gotten an Eiffel Tower, no. Oh, shocking. Never have I ever had a threesome.

Okay. Take that bitch. I drank now? Have you gotten an Eiffel Tower? You drink, too. No, you drink if you've done it. Oh. I know one thing for once.

Okay. Never, however, hooked up with someone And that is 30 years my senior. 30 years my senior? You know what I'm saying? Is that proper grammar? Yeah, it's very proper. Like British?

The way you've just declined every segment of the show all day. I'm trying to learn. Every fucking segment, you break it down and you ask what it's about. 30 years my senior? Think of a senior. Think of older. It's just a proper way of saying it I don't like it

Okay 30 years older Yes older Dumbass I'm 28 38 48 50 I don't think so no That's the oldest guy you've ever gotten with 40 something

Oh That's a good age range to stay into What's yours like 92 Sorry I just came for you You just made yourself laugh 53-ish. Okay.

I saw him the other day at St. Margot, and I said, hi. He goes, who were you? Who's the dad you saw last night? Oh, he's also in that similar friend group. He was cute. Yeah. They don't seem that nice, though. They're just, like, kind of scared.

I'll talk about them on the show, which we're doing right now. We don't sing any names. No, yeah. Never have I ever been. Wait, I have arrested. Have you? Have you been arrested? No, but I've gone to court for things. I've been to court. I'm not kidding, probably 15 times for 15 different things.

That's insane. Yeah, one time I got charged with a hit and run. Do you know that? No. But he was trying to fraud me. He hit me, and then he drove away. And I drove a shitty car, so I was like, okay, whatever. And then he called the cop saying I hit him and drove away. I won. He framed me. Why?

And my dog was in the backseat, and the cop. The cops came to my mom's house and my mom's. I asked like they're divorced, my parents' house. And they were like, was anyone else in the car? And I go, my dog was, if you want to talk to her, I said that to the cop. What'd the cop say? He shook his head at me. And my mom was like, you did not just say that.

Okay, never have I ever had a wet dream about someone that I shouldn't have a wet dream about. It sounds like you have. I've never had a wet dream. I don't know if they're real, are they? Yeah. I think it's probably easier for a girl. Sometimes it's like I wake up to orgasms. That's the thing.

Wait, you wake up orgasming? Yeah, it's a wet dream. Oh, that sounds amazing. No, it's great. It's like, don't wake me up. And then do you go back to that and do it again? Yeah, I'm like, bring me back. Good for you.

Or like sometimes you've never had a dream where you like wake up and you're like, oh my God, like. Well, I had a dream the other night. I slept with a woman. and I woke up in a full sweat, panic attack, fucking going through my phone, making sure it wasn't real. It was really scary. Wait, who was it? I sent a, I need to start doing a dream journal

because I have crazy dreams. Who was the girl? Oh my God, it was Ella Langley, the country singer. I was like, holy shit. Was it good? It was so vivid. And I was like, oh my God. I mean, she's beautiful, so whatever.

Wait, you had a sex room with Ella Langley. I feel like I've seen people like really. going and somebody else said yeah responded to my close friends and was like wait me too but it was a straight boy so like obviously I was like you straight men on our close friends yeah I've straight friends believe it or not men yeah it's like my my friends from home my friends boyfriends fiancee's husband okay great and this has been a wild ride I feel I will be honest with you when I came here I was dizzy, nauseous. I couldn't really talk, as you could tell from the beginning.

I still can't really talk. I feel so much better. Oh, God, I'm so glad I got you there. I feel a little drunk. It's not because of this. It's because of this. But it's been such an honor. I know. I mean, you're welcome. He didn't mean to say that. Okay, we should do this more often. Oh my God, no, I'm like never coming back to New York. I swear.

Like, this has been too much. I didn't even tell them how long it took me to get here. Took me six hours to get here. I'm not crazy. I'm fun, shut up. Okay, guys, as always, I love you all so much. You can watch, I would suggest watching this one on YouTube. And if you can't watch on YouTube, you can listen to me on any other platform. Give me five stars.

Recommend to a friend. Recommend to your dad. Recommend to Great and Small. Send it to your papa. Send it to your Papa. Or Nana. We love you all and I'll see you next Thursday. Bye you guys.

Bye. Thank you.