Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - No cuddles, no kisses, no problem

Episode Date: April 10, 2025

Hallie gives a full State of the Union this week: she’s getting laid, still hates men, and yes... there are poppers in her pocket. She shares a chaotic double-booked date story, reflects on the harsh reality of dating in NYC (it’s not giving Sex and the City), and declares the man game officially DEAD. Hallie explains why dating older makes sense (men are emotionally 7 years behind), what her dream first date looks like, and why she’s not afraid to hold out for the right guy. ALSO she judges your messy dating dilemmas - were you the a**hole? - and gets real about sex: giving 5-star “pick me” head on the first hookup, refusing to train men in bed, and why she avoids aftercare after one-night stands. It's Extra Dirty! Follow @extradirty on socials to follow along with Hallie and if you love what you hear, leave a review and subscribe to keep the chaos coming. Love you cookies!

I'm on my period, so I guess everyone should seek shelter because everyone will rue this day. Okay guys, I'm putting something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Hi sexies, everyone welcome back to Extra Dirty. Before I start this episode, I need to like go over how fucking ugly and beatiana I looked in last week's episode, guys.

This is my first time in this studio, the first time with this lighting, and also this couch has very sharp angles to it so I honestly didn't know what it looked like and I looked back at the footage from last week and oh my god I wish production had stopped me it looked like I had my pants bunched up like this everything was tucked under my sweater I thought I was going for like the cute cozy look like a little salt tree like oh she's very cozy in the couch She's marinating in the couch. No, it looks like I fucking had a 12 inch erect penis

You would have thought I shove one of these unwells under my fucking sweater. That's what it looks like It was absurd. It looked like I had a boner the whole time and I was super excited to be podcasting Which I was but like not that excited you know like what um anyways I'm sick as you can probably tell from my super seductive and like sexy voice that I have going on right now I started off the week with like 102 fever I feel like maybe my lifestyle is finally starting to catch up with me just a touch I literally have like like look what's in my pockets right now if you're watching this on YouTube I'm

gonna vocalize it for people that aren't watching it but I have a thermometer just in case a fever spikes. I have a pack of cigarettes just in case I forget that I have a fever. I think this is a popper. Oh my god are these poppers? I have a lighter for the cigarettes. Wait I'm dead that I have poppers in my pocket. I didn't even know. And then okay so this is probably why I have a fucking cold. It's because all these things combined in my pocket don't make sense to me at all. But wait the poppers really threw me off. I haven't worn this coat in a little bit. But yeah, I'm fucking sick.

What else can I catch you up on? I'm on my period, so I guess everyone should seek shelter because everyone will rue this day. If a gust of wind comes at me strange, I flip it off. That's how I'm feeling today. I'm getting laid regularly right now, but like I still hate men. My opinion on men has not changed. Honestly, if anything, it's been extremely solidified.

Everyone still pisses me off. You know, like all these men want like they just want a fucking blowjob. Like that's all they want. Like what happened to hi, how are you? Or like, let's go out to you or like let's go out to dinner? Or like let's go on a date or let's see you in the light of day. They're just like, oh like give me head again I get it. It's a beautiful a Beautiful sucky McGee, but there's more to me than just my sucky McGee's There's more to me. Okay, let's do a quick little like throwback dating story now that I'm on the topic of dating and how

Much it fucking sucks in New York City. Let's start there it was Probably five years ago when I first moved to New York and when you first moved to New York as a girl you think that You're fucking Carrie Bradshaw and you think that you should just be dating you think you should be dating everyone and just saying yes And oh my god life is so beautiful and mr Big is gonna sweep you off your feet and you're just gonna ride off into the sunset you're gonna experience heartache you're gonna experience breakups you're gonna experience situation ships you're gonna experience chlamydia all is true

but you know it's not as romanticized as you see like in the Sex and the City it's like a lot fucking shittier you know I can barely get a guy to ask me out I like I said in the last episode men fucking are scared they're scared of the city. It's like a lot fucking shittier. You know, I can barely get a guy to ask me out. I like I said in the last episode, men fucking are scared. They're scared of pussy these days. I don't know what's going on. The species is dying in my opinion. But sorry, that was just a random tangent on men. Let's go back to this dating story. So I thought that like you were supposed to just like, say yes to dating and dating as you guys know it's a fucking hobby it's a sport it's like a plant you have to water you have to give it attention like people really fucking put their whole back into dating in my opinion

and I really don't have time for it I just my lifestyle is not conducive with romantic partnerships right now so it was like one night it was like a Friday night, we went to this kid's birthday celebration, he rented out a bar or whatever, and I went with some girlfriends, and like everyone was partying, someone offered me a bump, and like, I don't say no too much, definitely not saying no to a bump, but I did not know the bump was pink,

and I thought that was only a Miami thing. So it ended up being too CB, and everyone's vibing, you know, the house music is going and the vibes are flowing and this fucking random ass kid who I guess hit it off with was giving me attention and one thing about me is I fucking like attention. And he ended up asking me out on a date. We exchanged phone numbers, and he followed up the next day. And when I saw the text the next day, usually my like gut reaction to a guy asking me out would be like, like now in today's age would be absolutely the fuck not. Like I have to like really know you in person. If I'm saying yes to a date, I don't say yes to dates. Like I need to hook up with you a few times before

I say yes to a date. But that's like a whole other issue. We'll get to that later. Um So I was like, you know what? Yeah, you know, I'm fresh in New York City. I should be saying yes to going on dates So we set a time we meet up we meet up at like the fucking Gans of order something and I see this fucking meet up at like the fucking Gans of order or something and I see this fucking troll looking ass man in the lobby of the building and I said there is no way I don't know what lucifer asked potion to CB has and that made me just see rainbows and butterflies and like whatever this man was not in the slightest my type he looked like kind of like asparagus. I don't know. He just like nothing about him was my type. He looked shy and not

outgoing. He wasn't funny. We go up to the top like I was about to like turn around and say goodbye. I don't know like what got into me to say yes but like I would feel so bad standing someone up on a date. That's really not my style. I wish it was but like I have like guilt and shame and anxiety. I would never want someone to do that to me. So I ended up going through with a date and I was like, you know what, maybe he has a good personality. Like maybe we'll just give it a go. No, there was nothing about this date that went smooth. It was like a very tumultuous. It was like that one smoothie was like a very tumultuous, it was like turbulence.

If a date was like a turbulent plane ride, that was the whole thing. Nothing was smooth about this date. We get up to the roof, he orders like a magnum bottle of champagne, and I haven't eaten anything yet. So I got fucking cross-eyed and lit. And like the conversation was horrible.

I'm cross-eyed at this point I'm starving you can barely find my waist and this man always fed me is fucking champagne and I get the gesture he was trying to like look like a baller but this kid was like what 22 probably and like was probably just trying to impress me with a bottle of champagne but like I need to eat something please and then the conversation like we had nothing in common and he wasn't funny and as you guys know being funny is so important to me if you're not funny like

I hate you. Like I would rather you be ugly and funny than the other way around. So then he wanted to like continue the night and I don't know what to say no it's like one of my biggest flaws I do not know what to say no I'm working on it I have worked on it in therapy saying no just doesn't roll off the tongue naturally to me. And so he brings me to like the fucking Spaniard after which if you guys don't know what the Spaniard is it's just like a dive bar in New York. It's like the least romantic place probably in New York City. Like I would rather like like I think giving a girl like a tour of like a graveyard would be more romantic than

bringing me into this Spaniard. And then he leans in for a kiss at the end of the night. And that's always awkward. And also like, as you know, like I can't say no. So like it was an awkward like dodge and I leaned back and then he sprinted down the street and he was never to be heard from again. I think we both knew it was just like a atrocious date and since then I've never romanticized dating again and I've never romanticized New York City and I've never had a real you know Carrie Bradshaw moment after that. I went straight to

Samantha Jones route after that. I went straight Samantha Jones. I'm not really a big dater. It's not really my thing. I travel a lot. And like I said a million times at this point, guys don't ask me on dates because I think they're scared I'm gonna bite their head off, which is usually probably the case. I feel like dating in general is something you really have to, you know, make time for like anything else that you prioritize.

You have to make time for it. It's not really on my top priority list. I also like don't have that much time, I guess, right now. I'm like busier than I've ever been in my life. Like I remember like months and months and months ago I double booked which I feel like is common in New York City. Sometimes you got a double book you have one date and then you have a following date. I think if I the guy like the most would be the second date. For me that was the case. Like I had been talking to this guy for a while and he was planning on staying with

me. But I had really liked this guy and I do this thing when I like someone where I put all my eggs in one basket and I was really trying to fucking fight like putting all my eggs in one basket so I wouldn't get hurt kind of thing. But it turns out that like if I like someone, I'm literally just hooking up with that person. I wish it wasn't the case because I probably would save myself from like getting my feelings hurt when I when it's not necessary but you know it can't change me. But anyways I like this guy and he was planning on staying at my

apartment and I was really excited but I was like fuck I can't like this guy too much because he did have a lot of fucking red flags. So what I did is I double booked and I went on a date with this guy who is the sweetest man ever. He had been begging and begging so persistent on asking me out and I kept like pushing it off, pushing it off. But I was like, wait, this is the perfect opportunity to like spread my eggs a little bit into different baskets, give this guy a shot, maybe we will hit it off so I accepted the date but like this date was at like 6 p.m. it was like a cocktail ish that kind of ran late and then I knew that later that night this guy from fucking wherever was landing and staying at my apartment so I kind of felt bad for the first guy but you know what you know what he doesn't know won't kill him.

You know, ignorance is blessed in this situation. But it did get kind of awkward because I was continuously checking my phone. This man was like, I'm landing. What's your apartment number? Blah, blah, blah. I'm going to be there in 30 minutes. And I was like, oh, fuck. This other guy is trying to order more and more drinks, wants to go do like a final,

final espresso martini liquid dessert situation somewhere else and I had to figure out like an excuse I think I said I had like a job interview the next day and like I don't know that's probably the last thing I should have said to get out this day because one I'm an influencer what What does that even mean? And two, like, it was a Saturday. So nothing made sense. It was like the worst excuse in that given situation. I think the guy was picking up on the fact that maybe I was just not interested, which wasn't the case. I liked the guy and I was kind of interested. I just like wanted to sleep with the other guy more and he was like on his way to bring to my apartment

But I feel like that's not a unique experience I feel like people double book in New York City all the time and It's not just women doing it. I bet men do it a lot more But yeah, like I said dating is just seems to be Not my horizon right now, but I don't like seek out the dating lifestyle. I'm sure if I really got into it, if I had hinge, you know, I put my full fucking pussy into dating, I could probably swing a date. I just think that for right now, you know, I'm like never in the same place for more

than four days at a time, it feels like right now. And I'm just busy, you know, just doing me. But I always feel like men will just come to me. Like they'll just follow my lap and the stars will somehow align and that fate will just be on my side. But as I'm getting older, I feel like I will have to like a make

a conscious effort to take part in dating as a thing. And as like almost like a sport, like an extracurricular activity, like I gotta I gotta give it some attention at some point. I don't think right now is the time. But like, who knows, I can meet the love of my life tomorrow. Or maybe already know it. I don't fucking know. But yeah, that's where I am with dating right now. And that's what dating pretty much looks like in New York, I think, unless you can prove me wrong. I mean, if anyone has a great dating life,

please, please write into the show. And I wanna hear about it. I want you on the show. I wanna hear about your superb dating life. I wanna hear about girls that are going on dates multiple times a week. I wanna, like, girls that are going on dates multiple times a week. I want to like how do you have my ADHD could never also where are you finding these men? I look around I see no talent. There's done I talked about this last week on the pod with Liv. I look around these dive bars which is apparently where you're supposed to find the men that that

like sporting events but there's only so much dribble dribble in swing swing, you know, throw throw that I can fucking fake before I get sick of the shit. OK. Can they come to the members clubs? I thought they would be at the members clubs. You think these rich men would be like flying a muck, but I don't know who's single. Approach me. I like I'm not a fucking mind reader. These men just think we can read their minds and read their boners

I can't do any of that shit. You have to come say hi and stop being a fucking weird freak pussy Sorry got emotional with that one apparently you're supposed to meet like the love your life in your late 20s I don't know what fucking doctor scientists or fucking like the love your life in your late 20s. I don't know what fucking doctor, scientist, or fucking person discovered that. I think that's a bunch of fucking bullshit. And this is why I go after older guys is because I don't think men have the EQ that we have at the same age. They're seven years behind us. So if you're 27 years old and you're hooking up with a 27 year old man, they're 20 years old mentally, emotionally. They're only physically your age. Literally,

they're only physically your age and that's about fucking it. Like you're not going to talk to a guy your age and be like, yeah, you get it. It's very, very fucking rare and that's why a little bit of an age gap will be better for you in more ways than one. Like you'll get treated better, they're better in bed. They check a lot of boxes that guys our age do not check. Okay? I think a lot of people that think they've met the one they're going to marry, the ones in long term relationships right now, the ones that just got married, maybe call me a pessimist. I think I'm a fucking realist. Most of those people will be divorced by the age of 40. And then they're gonna be like,ist, I think I'm a fucking realist. Most of those people will be divorced by the age of 40, and then they're gonna be like, damn,

I wish I was 28 and still hot and didn't settle for some fucking limp dick ass pussy bitch just because I thought I should. But that's just like my thought on that. Also, I'm not like one that's like, oh my God, I'm not like a hopeless romantic. I'm just like fucking hopeless, I guess not like one that's like, oh my god, I'm not like a hopeless romantic. I'm just like fucking hopeless, I guess at this point. I'm I'm I just like see I see a situation and the situation around me and the dating

situation in New York. I see people's dynamics and I just read it at face value. I'm really good at that. That's why I'm trying, I'm not a patient person. This, my romantic life is one aspect of my life that I will, without a doubt, always be patient with because I do not want to look back years and years and be like, damn, I wasted time and energy on a man that like wasn't fucking shit Like I don't want to have any regrets when it comes to like fucking men. Imagine like having a regret over a man That's disgusting. Everyone needs to pull it together

Okay, my last thing on dates is if you were to ask me on a date Which by the way way I'm looking at every camera right here I if you want to ask me out on a date I'm open to it I'm not against it but you have to be hot and funny and not a fucking weird little pussy freak okay maybe a little bit of a freak but not a pussy freak okay and this is what my ideal first date would look like like I don't need the flowers I don't need you to call me an uber I have my dad's credit card for that I don't need any of

that shit this is what I do need though I say ideally a date would be in the evening I don't believe in coffee dates I don't want to see you in the light I need to have a slight buzz going if I need to have a slight buzz going If I don't have a slight buzz going like how do I know if we're gonna like get along? That could be fucked up to say it may be a little alarming that could be a red flag of mine But like I need to like have a like a little bit of a jag going like the vibes need to be like rolling off The tongue, you know, like a little giggle like I need to have a little flush on the skin rolling off the tongue, you know, like a little giggle, like I need to have a little flush on the skin.

And also I need to know if I want to fuck you or not. Like if I don't know that off the first date, then I probably don't want to fuck you and I don't have any interest on going on a second date. I think a perfect first date, you would be getting cocktails. I don't need food. Well, I need food, but I don't wanna eat on a first date.

Especially like anything handhelds. Like maybe do like apps, but like, I don't wanna be fucking ripping, like hunking down like a hamburger or anything like that. And then just like do like a couple drinks, dim lighting, candles, romantic environment, not too romantic, nothing like cheesy or forced, but you know, anything like kind of like a hole in a wall,

like a boutique-y, like not Italian restaurant, because I don't want food, but like, what am I trying to say? Like I want to say a members club, but that's like not relatable at all. Because ideally I would love to just like go to like Zero Bond or Shea Margot and just like sit in the corner and have a couple drinks. But I'm trying to think just like I'm like a hole in the wall place where you can get

drinks and then maybe like share a kiss at the end of the night. I don't really have a strong stance on sleeping with the guy on the first day. I don't think you should have rules around that at all. If it doesn't feel right, I would say don't do it. Like I wouldn't like force it and be like, Oh, like, I don't know if I want to sleep with you, but then like try to make it happen. I wouldn't do that. But if you guys are handsies hot, like handsy hot and heavy, like can't keep your hands off each other the whole night and like the only other option is like fuck at the end of the night, like don't stop yourself just because you're like not supposed to sleep with someone the first date, like I had anal on a

first date once and I don't regret a damn thing about that, I would do it again. It slipped, I don't know. It just happened. And honestly, it was because we were hot and heavy the whole night. Like it just happens sometimes. But I don't believe in like, Oh, you should wait to the third date. Like you should wait to like, you know, the seventh moon of the third date and it has to be like the wind has been like the time that like you have to be a tourist and a Libra. I don't believe in any of that fucking bullshit. You want to fuck fuck if you don't want to fuck go to bed.

That's about it. But yeah that would be my ideal first day. Ideally they would text me when I got home if that's the route I took or they would text me if I got home safely the next morning after they sent me home in an uber from their apartment. Other like if I'm not getting a text the next day after you hook up with a guy, they can go fuck themselves. Like I don't understand that. What am I, a fucking flashlight with a beating heart? I have feelings too. Like hi how are you? Like maybe check if I have a UTI or not because we just had sex 19 million times. What about that? What about that? These men. But yeah, attacks with device and my whole

thought on like, if you don't hit it off on a first date, like, do you ghost or are you just super transparent? I've had it both ways. I've hooked up with a guy I stayed like, I stayed at his place for a full week. And then I landed back in New York City and I was slammed with a hey, I don't think we're meant to be we're not compatible. And I thought we had hit it off. Like I thought we were like in simpatico I thought we had kiki like so fucking hard and this man hit me with like that. Yeah No, this is not gonna work. I never replied to the text, but I will say There was something about like that That just like closed the chapter and it was easier to get over like yes for a week. I was like kind of like

the chapter and it was easier to get over like yes for a week I was like kind of like you know my ego is a bit bruised but you know bruises heal and it was like quick and easy and like I got over it. The ghosting situation kind of you know I get it and I've done it to guys plenty of times but I do think that it kind of like leaves things like open-ended but the thing is like who the fuck cares if you want to leave it open-ended whatever you're eventually gonna get over that too so if you want to ghost, ghost if you don't want to ghost and you want to be a fucking dick for a second yeah you can do that too but yeah that is dating I guess builds character you know sometimes you got to get your ego bruised.

I know I need to be taken down a notch sometimes. It's definitely good for me. I need to be humbled or put in a corner and put in timeout sometimes. It's good for me, but it sucks and I don't like it and stop doing it. I wish men would treat me nicer. Okay guys, speaking of horrible dates and my horrible dating life and this shitty situation you know that is dating in New York, let's talk about you guys for a little bit and let's do Am I the Asshole because some of you guys can be assholes too.

And honestly, thank fucking God because it makes me feel so much better. You know, misery and misery loves a little company sometimes it it's nice to know we're all in the same boat we're all in the same ship we're in this together as a shared experience so let me read a couple of things you guys submitted some situations and I will you know debate whether you guys are the asshole or not and I'll be fucking honest about it, too. Okay this first Person says am I the asshole for dropping a friend who never put any effort into our? friendship No, you're a fucking person with a beating heart. Why would you put any energy into something where you're not getting anything back?

That's a one-way street, babe friendships arehips are a two-way street. Relationships are a two-way street. You should be getting what you're giving, like always in life, or they're all sorts of like no fucking point. This person seems like a bad friend and you're gonna realize as you get older your circle is gonna be gonna get extremely small. You should only have one, my dad always says this, you should only have one to three friends where you could call up at 2 a.m. and say, my car broke down, I'm on the side of the road,

I need you to come pick me up, no questions asked, and they would get in their car and do it for you. There's only gonna be a few people in your life that are gonna do that for you, and you're gonna find those friends as you get older. You know the trash is gonna take itself out. You know we gotta trim the extra fat, okay? We don't need any bad relationships or friendships in 2025 and you should know your worth. You should know what you give as a friend and if you're not getting that back then tell them to go fuck themselves and shove a pole up their ass. Respectfully and kindly and gracefully with lube, okay?

So I think you're not the asshole. I think you're fucking queen for that. I've dropped so many friends I didn't put the effort in. And I'm sure friends have dropped me too. You know, down the road, sometimes you just grow apart. And that's okay too. Sometimes your interest in your lifestyles will just take you in different directions.

And that doesn't always have to be like a bad thing. It doesn't always have to be a harsh breakup split. Sometimes you just go in different directions and that is life. That's what life will do to you. You know, I've definitely experienced that too, but no, I would not say you are the asshole at all. And don't be too hard on yourself about situations like that. Okay, this next person says, Am I the asshole because I told my girlfriend she made a

mistake marrying her man and we were at our wedding? No, this is something I would so do. I would be like, how can I make this wedding about me? Like this is something I would do too. Maybe we're both assholes for doing this, but maybe I would have, you know, in hindsight, hindsight's always 20-20. Maybe I would have had this conversation with her before, but ultimately when it comes to like your girlfriend's relationships, you can give them as much advice that you possibly have, but like they're the ones that are gonna have to live with it. They can take all your advice and probably like do nothing with it.

That's their life, that's their journey. And if there's something wrong with this man, I promise you she's gonna find out herself eventually one day Whether you you know flag that or not So no, I don't think you're the asshole doing it on her wedding day is kind of insane kind of a baller move Definitely something I would do but no, I don't think you're an asshole You're just being an honest you're trying to be a good friend and and she'll appreciate that Maybe not in that moment in her white dress, but I think down the road She'll give you a pat on the back for that. I'm trying to think like

If I've ever disliked one of my friends boyfriends or husbands People that they're in relationships like my close friends like I'm trying to think like my friend Lauren like I love her boyfriend so much I feel like they suit each other so well but I remember in the beginning when he was kind of like being a fuckboy to her I was like oh this guy sucks and also selfishly when my friends get into relationships I'm like oh like who am I gonna have fun with? Like no one wants to go out with me anymore. Everyone's like happy Like can someone be like sad and go out with me and like take tequila shots with me

Like I kind of feel like I'm losing a friend to a man whenever my friends get in relationships But I try to think do I hate this man or do I just want my fun friend? My single friend, but then like if I look at the glass half full I'm like well at least there's like another hot bitch I don't have to worry about she's taken so maybe there's more men for me but you know that's just like being positive trying to look at the situation positively but you know I've definitely hated some of my friends situationships but like in those situations trash has taken itself out

there's not much I had to say, you know, but my friends that have serious boyfriends right now, I gotta say maybe I'm lucky. I like all of them and but I've definitely had friends with situationships where I want to kick them in the fucking balls and shove my fist into their ass and then rip out their guts and then show them their guts and be like look at this beating heart of yours that's in my hand. I never had to do that but I've wanted to, I've thought about it. Anyways next question, this girl goes, am I the asshole because I am not going to a new friend's wedding and going on a reunion trip with my college friends instead? No. They were your friends first. I think weddings, oh my

there's so many fucking weddings right now. And I don't have a boyfriend. I don't want to go to a wedding alone and like celebrate someone else's love. No offense unless they're like a family member or a best friend. I just kind of get like sad at them when I go and I'm like oh damn she looks happy. She looks really happy. I get like kind of like negative at them but no I would probably do the reunion trip with my college friends too. Those are your bitches. Those are the girls you shook shook like were shaking ass with back in the day. Those are the girls you were drinking pink Whitney with

in Cabo circa 2012. Like those are your real fucking bitches. Go on that reunion trip. Shake some ass with your real friends. A new friend they'll understand too. If you say no to that wedding, they should be able to understand why you're saying no to that wedding.

As long as you have like a concrete reason, I would say reunion trip with your friends is a very concrete reason to skip a new friend's wedding. And I will die on that hill, okay? Okay? I feel like there's ways to remedy the situation. I would still send a gift, maybe write a card, maybe get a couple dinners with that new friend

just to like, you know, fluff her up a little bit and then say, you know what, I can't make it to the wedding but like I sent you a really nice gift, you can't be mad at me so as long as you like check all those boxes and do all those things I feel like you're absolutely in the clear and that you shouldn't feel bad about that at all I don't think you're the asshole at all am I the asshole because I tell every person I meet that their ex is gay because

He wouldn't come from sex Yeah, I think all my exes are gay like literally if a guy like rejects me I'm like, oh he's definitely gay like set up the ass It's not a me problem. They're just gay. Is that okay to say? Am I gonna get in trouble for saying that? I don't even fucking care. like i just think everyone's gay if like if they're not coming from sex either they have e.g erectile dysfunction or they're thinking about joe schmoe from the equinox locker room okay? i don't think there's any in between i don't think it's anything you're doing wrong unless you have like a venus flytrap pussy that's biting

it or something but i don't think that's a you problem, babe. Guys should be able to come so easily. If a guy can't come from sex, we gotta go to the doctor. There needs to be a doctor who visits ASAP. Unless they have coke dick. I mean I ran into that problem but they usually when you have coke dick you can't even like it hard. It's like fitting a slinky into a fucking hole. You know, it's not enjoyable for anyone it's like a rubik's cube you cannot solve and it's frustrating but you know that is hooking

up with fat boys in college that was like my whole college experience you just bunch of coke dick left and right actually it's been my post-college experience too you know cocaine is quite the drug, but you know. Okay, this person asks, am I the asshole for ending up with a guy a friend had a situationship with? Yeah, you are an asshole actually. I still love you and thank you for writing in,

but as we all know, situationships and the ending of them for any bitch, they hurt harder and stronger than the ending of even the longest of relationships. The keyword in this is situationships. If you had even said relationship, I would even be like, but like situationship, that is gutting and kind of rude and cruel. I mean, how close are you with this friend? I need more context. How close are you with this friend? How long was the situationship? What is your definition of a situationship? Mine is gaslighting, like the back and forth. Does he like me? Oh my god, he's coming over. Oh my god, he's not replying to me. Oh my god, I'm posting stories from him. back and forth, does he like me? Oh my God, he's coming over. Oh my God, he's not replying to me.

Oh my God, I'm posting stories from, oh my God, is he viewing my story? Oh my God, he's like, I'm only looking to see if he viewed my story. It's like a whole fucking clusterfuck of emotions that go from really high highs to really low lows, and you're just venting about it to all your bitches and all your girlfriends.

And if you were one of those bitches that your friend was venting to about the situationship then I would say yeah you're 110% an asshole. I don't think I would do that. I don't even think I would get into a situationship with my enemies. It's just like one of those things where you just don't do... there's so much dick in the world. I'm looking at all the cameras. There is so much dick everywhere. I promise you there will be another man that will please you, that will make you finish, than your friend's ex situationship. Period. Let's do another one. That one made me upset. Am I the asshole because I left my three and a half year relationship for the guy I told him to not worry about?

I mean like not really. I mean honestly I feel like in situations like that you're doing them a favor. If it wasn't the guy that you told him not to worry about, it was going to be another guy because obviously you would want doing eyes. So I think in the long run you're doing that person a favor. Are you the asshole? He's gonna probably say you are. He's gonna tell all your friends and his mom and his sisters that you are a major asshole. But look at it this way. You did him a favor. And now he can go off and not please other ladies and you can go off with the new man that, you know,

seems to be cutting it. He wasn't cutting it. If he's not cutting it, life is too short. Carpe Diem sees the day, sees the dick. Okay, we're not getting any younger. We're not getting, you know, we're not getting it. We're not going to be this hot in 20 years. We've got to figure it out. Get laid, get that man, get him now and the guy will get over it. You know, he'll be fine. I don't think you're an asshole for that. I think that is a super relatable experience. I feel like it's always the guy they tell like,

you know, it's always the person you tell him not to worry about, but he probably put that idea in your head anyways. He was like, do I have to worry about this guy? And you were like, no, but then you were like, wait, should he though? And then like, so blame him, it's his fault. This person was over the relationship and if you're even

having conversations where like they're like should I be worried about this guy you guys aren't in a good relationship there's something that's already missing should I have to worry about another person would never be a conversation in a healthy and stable relationship that just like wouldn't come up at all you'd be like there that wouldn't that thought would not enter your mind or his mind so i'll say it again like if it wasn't the guy he was like should i worry about it would be a different guy so i i think that relationship was already over in her head at least am I the asshole for crushing on my failed situationships roommate that I have more chemistry with? Situationship is a friend of mine and so is his roommate.

No. It depends how long the situationship with. And honestly, if you're feeling, go off who you have the most chemistry with. I don't think you're the asshole at all. I think you should just like tell the other guy to kick rocks and say, hey, you weren't cutting it. And like, if the guy is kick rocks and say hey you weren't cutting it and like

It is that if the guy is if the roommates also giving you that same attention that same vibe and the chemistry is there then I would explore that because You know the other The other relationship or situationship didn't work out So why stop yourself from exploring something that would maybe it's fate. Maybe the stars were aligned. Maybe you were put in the other situation ships life to meet the roommate and that's how it was just supposed to happen. You can't control these things. You didn't pair them

together as roommates. Things just happen. He can move out. He can move out. I suggest he move out. I think he should move in with you. No, I don't think you're the asshole at all. I think like, you know, chemistry is a strong thing. It's a powerful thing. But I don't think you should deny feelings or exploring something just because of a one month, you know, fling bender. Like it's a blip in the time-space continuum. It doesn't really count. Yeah, in the grand scheme of things. So I say go for it. I would go for the roommate. I've gone for the roommate before. You know, I once was hooking up with two roommates and they didn't know about it. And they were also in the same lacrosse team

And that was bad they found out eventually but That was my freshman year. I feel like oh That was the good old days the fuck I used to love the cross boys so much like I couldn't stop myself from having The fuck I used to love the cross boys so much like I couldn't stop myself from having chemistry with anyone on the cross team I was having chemistry with everyone in Sigma Chi and everyone on the cross team. It was a fucking issue But um, no, I think if you yeah. Yes period go for the roommate period If it doesn't work out We'll find a new building. We'll find a new pair of roommates So some people have been DMing me about sex and I love talking about sex guys. I feel like I need to talk about it more on here.

And they've been just asking me like what do I do if I'm hooking up with someone and the sex just like isn't getting better? And I think about this a lot because I always give guys three times to really like figure out if they're good and better or not. I know when I first hook up with someone I'm not like eating their ass the first time and pulling out my craziest fucking tricks the only thing I make sure I'm extremely good and really really show up for is sucking dick the first time I hook up with someone I make sure that blowjob is Michelin star I make sure I pull it all the stops it's almost like I call it pick me head like you it's the most pick me head ever because I it's like it's full service

five stars Michelin star gorgeous flawless sloppiest no teeth head you'll ever see in your whole entire life. I think that if you do that a guy will always come back because they'll be like wow that bitch was really good ahead. And at the end of the day, guys just want their dick sucked. They really do. That's all they care about is getting a fucking blowjob. I swear, if you can master a good blowjob,

your life will be a tiny bit easier, okay? I know it's a lot of work, and they don't call it a job for nothing, and you might need to stretch your neck, you might get some whiplash, but at the end of the day if you can master a fucking good blowjob he will text you eventually whether it's a booty call or whatever but he's gonna promise you he's gonna hit you up again that's never steered me wrong but yeah I would give it three tries because I feel

like on the third try with someone, you can finally like build the courage to be a bit more communicative. Like you can communicate what you like, they are communicating what they like, you can just tell based off like their body language and the way they're lifting their hips and flipping you up and side down and swinging on the chandelier.

You can just tell like what they're into. And then once you know what they're into and once they know what you're into, you can like lean into that instead of doing like all that extra shit that like no one cares about. Like I know for me like when a guy tries to impress me with like too much like too many moves, I don't feel like really need that many moves. Is that crazy to say? Like, I feel like either I'm starting in missionary or in cowgirl and like I'm having a great time and then I'm finishing in doggie strong and you know, I feel like other than that, like I don't need anything like suit, like sex can be really good in just those three positions. You know, have some good head in between that,

like maybe change the scenery, maybe go on the kitchen counter, maybe go in the shower. But other than that, you don't need to make it too complicated, I feel like the more complicated you make it, the first time you're having sex with someone, like you're gonna like miss important cues, like listen to their body, listen to like,

you know, just like listen to those cues and like those physical cues and see what they like but yeah I'm giving guys three tries if by the third time you still think he's like kind of if in bed and like not matching your freak or he's like too freaky for you not everyone's a fucking crazy freak like me like for me personally like I love like rough sex, talkative, you know, I just like love getting my absolute shit rocked, but like that's like a me problem. Not everyone likes that.

Some people like, you know, the more intimate, romantic, love making stuff. So that like, if you're not like a physical match in that way, then you're gonna know right off the bat. But yeah, I would give them at least three tries. If you think, I mean, for me, I try to give them three tries to see if they're boring in bed.

I typically can tell off the first try if they're like gonna be a little bit of a freak or not. But you never know. I never know how much of a freak they are until like they vocalize it really. To like what they like. Like a guy's not gonna be like eat my ass in the first hookup.

And if they do, I don't know how I'd feel about that. If on the first time they were like, eat my ass bitch. I'd be like, wait, what? Who are you? I really know you. We just had dinner. But yeah, also like, are they giving you head? That says a lot about a person.

Is he going down on you? That shows like philanthropy. Is he a philanthropist? Is he generous as a person? Is he giving back to the commute? Okay, you can tell a lot about a guy if he's going down on you or not. Like, is he a giver? Is he selfish?

Does he just want his nut? Does he want you to finish? You can tell a lot about a person's character based off of these first three times you're having sex with them. So I would say give it three tries. If by the third you're still questioning it, he's not going to fix. I don't believe in like, oh, you really have to train a guy to be good at fucking. I really don't.

I don't have the time And energy to fucking teach a guy how to do fucking shit Like I'm not teaching anyone how to like find my clip at the age of 27. That's fucking insane to me Maybe that's like okay to do when you're like in high school and college Like guys are still learning but I still find out the age of 27 that guys are still learning and I just don't care like it gives me the ick when I have to like tell a guy like this is what you should be doing like I don't want to do that with any man they should know already they should know but like maybe if you like have the time and energy to like train a guy that's your prerogative but for me personally I will

you will not catch me trying to lead a man to my clit. That's like, you know, leading a dog to water. I'm not gonna know. He should know. He should know that at this time in our age. Yeah, that's why I don't go for anyone that's even a month younger than me at this point, because some of them still don't like, they don't know what they're doing. That's why what I was saying earlier I was like older guys they know what they're doing because they've had more experience. Unfortunately, they've had more experience and I'm mad at them for that for getting with people before me, but they still have more experience. They know what they're doing. So it's usually just easier and like better and they like have better sex lives. Oh more things about hooking up with guys.

After hookup, are we cuddling? Are we cuddling after hookups guys? Is that a thing? Because for me, it really depends on a couple things. One, am I hammered? Cause sometimes I can be like a lover when I'm hammered. I'll like get cozy right in like the little nook in like cosplay like a fucking full-blown relationship.

But most of the time, I feel like cuddling is something I try to stay away from just so I can protect my own heart, my own peace. Because if I'm cuddling with a man, you know, I'm like catching feelings. If I'm kissing them goodbye, I probably have caught feelings. If, yeah, like are we kissing like our one-night stands goodbye? Is that a thing? Because I feel like you should not be doing that. And cuddling is, it depends on the guy I

guess, but like I don't really like to cuddle in general. I'm a very physical touch person for play, but like after it's like I don't really like to cuddle in general I'm a very physical touch person for play but like after it's like I get post-nut clarity and I'm like I don't really want to be touched right now at all like you're sweaty and gross I'm sweaty and gross like shower and I'm gonna shower maybe we can shower together and then maybe we can like revisit the cuddling situation but um i mean it depends maybe after the third hookup maybe i'm cuddling if i like the guy if i'm hooking up with someone like after the third time unless like they're just like a blatant booty call i'm probably developing some sort of feelings probably after three times yeah okay guys that is all for this solo episode this week I had so much fun. I always

love doing these solos, I love hearing what you guys have to say, your input, your questions, so DM me if you want me to cover any topics. I promise I will get to every single topic because you're not getting rid of me, you're not getting in this podcast anytime soon. I'm here to stay. Um so anything you like have a question on or want my opinion on anything, just please just write in to extra dirty or DM me personally, I try to look at all my DMS. But other than that, thank you all for tuning in this week. I will be available to watch on YouTube as always. And to listen on every other platform. I fucking love you,

you weird freaksaks and yeah, goodbye