Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Sisters in silicone *Hallie & Liv post-op catch up*

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

One day, archeologists will find the implants from this episode... it's Hallie and Liv time this week, angels, and they're here for a chaotic, post-op catch-up. Yes, both Hallie and Liv are recovering from surgery and no, they’re not exactly following doctor’s orders... Hallie may or may not have bounced her way through Nantucket Wine Fest. They spill on why they got their tits done, how Liv is adjusting to her boyfriend moving in for the summer, and their very different recovery plans. Hallie reflects on being the daughter of her personal Mel Robbins, shares a scandalous bathroom hookup, and has an existential moment about how her podcast is scaring men off. Plus: their summer manifestations and a silly little listener Q&A. Love you! It's Extra Juicy! Follow @extradirty on socials to keep up with Hallie and if you love what you hear, leave a review and subscribe to keep the chaos coming.  

He asked for your number. He said, how do I contact you? And you said, you don't. Halle's like, if the stars align, we'll meet again. I go, if you can guess my number, it was meant to be. We're happy when I'll talk. Okay, guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night.

Okay, hi guys. Welcome back you little motherfucking freaks. You little motherfuckers. Welcome back to Act Sure Dirty. I'm here with Liv today and we're having a very special episode because I am not as high as Akai right now. We're both post-op together. And under the scalpel, we went.

We are sisters in- In scalpel. In silicone, even though I have saline. But we are sisters in- Oh my God, we are silicone sisters. Well, I have saline, but we are sisters. Oh my God, we are silicone sisters. Well, I have saline, but we can say that. One day, archaeologists will find our implants after an ice age, literally the next ice age

in a billion years, they're gonna be like, what are these squishy things? If we were in a house fire, all that would be left would be my fake tits, my fake nails, and filler just everywhere. My lips, lips, my nails, and now my tits. Yeah. Did you get an ID card for your ID? In my IUD. Do those burn? I don't have one of those. You don't have an IUD? No, I probably should. I'm not on birth control, babe. Are you just like a spray and pray kind of bitch? Yeah. Or I'm like a cum dumpster.

Um. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's literally 9 AM. It's 9 AM.

This is the hottest start to the episode we've ever had. So I need to go on birth control. I just don't know what to go on. I tried. Remember I tried the pills in December, and I had my period for a month straight. I had to go on birth control. I just don't know what to go on. Remember I tried the pills in December, and I had my period for a month straight. I had to go off of them. I thought that was Ozempic you were on.

No, baby. I was on both. But I'm both. Yeah. Motherfuck. I'm sorry. I need to stop. We can't be doing that the whole episode.

This is why I think birth control is good.'t be doing that the whole episode. All right, this is why I think brisket and shul is good. So I'm on, why? Because you have a boyfriend and I think it's irresponsible for you to be having sex without any sort, because I know you're not putting on that plastic saran wrap every time you're fucking. Every time you're fucking, mother. Wait, can we talk about how my boyfriend's moving in

with me for the summer today? Yeah, let's talk about our tits first and then I'll talk about that after. Okay. Hallie's like, no, not on my watch. I object. Can we talk about me on my podcast for a second instead of your love? Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry, motherfucker. No one's going to get it. All right. So why we got our tits done, part one. So like, listen, I'm not going to lie to you. I've said this before. I'm a very impulsive person and I love to hop on trends and I love to hop on bandwagons. Summer's coming up and also whenever I'm in a bad mood or a bad like head space, maybe

I'm feeling all down myself, a little scalpel, a little needle, it brings me serotonin. And I'm not saying do what I do. A tattoo? Most of the time, yeah. Most of the time I'm saying don't do what I do and learn by example from this podcast or from my TikToks. Don't act the way I act sometimes because it's not always safe.

That was very responsible of you to say. I act sometimes because it's not always safe. That was very responsible of you to say. I'm just self-aware. You are. I'm aware of all my decisions. I'm aware that most of my decisions are typically not the right ones. You know what I love about you though? You'll make crazy decisions. Not like too crazy. She's not like, you know, she just does, you know, some things maybe some people wouldn't like get their boobs on again in three years. But you stand by your decisions so firmly. And I love that. Like you don't waver because I'm a very indecisive person and every decision I make, I'm texting

you and Lauren, I'm like, do I do this? Do I order this top? Do I like I'm so indecisive. And Halle's just like, yeah, I got a tattoo on Tuesday. It's a huge fucking red snake. And don't say shit about it. I stand by the snake. I know. I love it.

But like, I love it because you love it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you stand by your decisions and that's on period and that's on God. Yeah. I mean, if I didn't stand by them, I would be in a lot of pain mentally. Yeah. So I kind of have to just like die on the hill. Yeah, you do. There's really nothing I could do about like my red snake that's in my arm. I like the red snake, which is an example.

Yeah, I don't even like snakes. Yeah, I'm actually terrified of snakes. Halle showed up to Zero Bond last winter and she's like, I'm like, what is on your arm? She's like, oh yeah, I went on Tuesday at like 2 p.m. It's always a dry Tuesday. I got my tits done on Tuesday too. That's so true. Let's talk about our recovery a little bit. Well, let's talk about why I got my tits done on Tuesday too. That's so true.

Let's talk about our recovery a little bit. Well, let's talk about why we got our tits done. Okay, why we got our tits done. You had that in the books for a while. I did. I got a lift last July. So like 10 months ago, I got a lift, which is all I wanted.

I was like so scared of implants because I'm a hypochondriac as you may know, because I talk about it all the time. And I was like, I can't do implants. Let's just do a lift. And as the year went on, I was like, what the fuck are we doing? Like, where are they?

Yeah, I was like, where did they go? I kind of compare it to like when, because when I got my tits done, I got a 295 high profile CCs, which is a conservative-ish implant. And I was like, I don't want them to look fake. When you think implants, you think they're just gonna look fake

up to your chin, right off the bat. And no, it's almost like getting filler. And you know when they're swollen and the swelling goes down, and then you're like, wait, I miss the swelling. Yeah, 100%. That's what I compare it to. That's what I was doing yesterday

because all my swelling went away from last week. And I was like, are they too small? And my friends were like, babe, they're not too small. I think I have body dysmorphia. Yeah. Because I still think, and they're still swollen and pissed out, I still think that they're not big enough. Remember we were taking pictures in Nantucket?

Yeah, you did say that last week to me that you thought they weren't big enough. And I was dumbfounded. That was a great word. I was like, huh? They look great. I like that size on you. Also, yeah, I can handle these.

Yeah. But can your father? But can your dad? You recovered properly. I mean, we were prescribed a lot of pain medication. Also, Halle went on Tuesday, I went on Friday. Yeah. So I was supposed to go on Monday,

so it was supposed to be me Monday, Halle Tuesday. We went to different doctors, but I booked mine, and then Hallie was like, well, I want to do mine anyway. Why don't we just do the same week? And I was like, please do this, like, perfect. Because then we do a cone. Yeah, Sisters in Silicon. It just works with our schedules.

And I was supposed to go Monday, and then I ended up going Friday. So it went Tuesday, Friday, and then one weekend the next week. So I knew I had to rest up and recover as much as possible because I also got another lift. So I have like these big incisions. They will go away with time, but like I need to be a little more careful

because they haven't fully closed yet. And I took the week to completely rest up, green juice in the morning, protein all day, walking to get my swelling down. My mom stayed with me for a week and Halle cannot relate to that. I went to LA. You're not supposed to fly for two weeks, Halle.

It was like, I'm getting on a plane. Well, I have a compression bra. I don't see the difference between a compression bra and compression socks. I also did yoga. Yeah, like I was in a plank position like four days post-op. I could feel the fucking internal bra scraping and stretching.

That's literally not in the doctor's orders. Also, they said no bouncing for two weeks. Yeah. And let me just say, I was bouncing on that dick on wine weekend, on Nantucket. Yeah, you were. Like I still have like the scar tape. Guys.

As I'm on top of this, man, I totally forgot about this. Like I have scar tape on still. Yeah. Like to cover the stitches. So we can floss on them. Yeah. Never forgot. And I was just like holding them like a fucking.

Like babies. No, like a basket. And I was just like, bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow. I was doing that in the Uber yesterday because it was like, we were on the cobblestones and I was like, oh, oh, oh. Cobblestones, Goc, same thing. Same fucking thing.

Yeah. Also, you're. Same fucking thing. Yeah. Also, you're not really supposed to be drinking. You are like, anesthesia, if anything, takes you out more than a fucking scalpel. No, that shit fucked me up. That shit fucked, you were out for like 19 days. Yeah, my surgery was six hours, because I like bleed a lot.

So it was kind of- Okay, bleeder. Okay, bleeder. It was kind of an issue. So I was out for, I was supposed to be under for three and a half. I was under for six and a lot. So it was kind of- Okay bleeder. Okay bleeder. It was kind of an issue. So I was out for, I was supposed to be under for three and a half. I was under for six and a half. Yeah.

Cause of my bleeding, shout out to Dr. Andrew Wines, seeing you changed my life. And Hallie and Lauren were like freaking out, texting my nurse. They were like, is Liv alive? Like what's happening? I've seen a lot of grace and anatomy.

I just knew how some of these things end poorly. Yeah, everyone was really concerned. But if I, honestly, my health is so bad, as all we we all know, if I can make it off the table. You gave me strength mentally. Thank you. Yeah, I saw Halle woke up from hers. I was like, I'm fine. I'm fucking good. Some people do it awake and just do it in their walkers.

You know that? Tits? Yeah. That's insane. That's like really crazy. That reminds like, I don't know. Wow. I would be fucking traumatized. This motherfucker. I mean, we sound like doctors right now. No, we don't.

Babe, no, we don't. I go motherfucker, you go, we sound like doctors. What does your doctor talk to you like? She held my hand as I like went off to sleep. So did my nurse. I was like, come here. Seriously? Guys, I-

You sound like you're gonna fuck her. Come here. So we go to like these private practices and like we have to, you have to, it's not, you're not in a hospital, right? So you have to walk yourself to the operating table. It's very eerie and weird. They're like, are you ready to come to the table?

You're like, yeah, sure. You walk in. You're like, I will not come. You will not. Do not come. And we walk in. I walk in, in my Johnny. And the table's like tiny.

It's freezing in that room. There's scalpels, knives, suction thingies. It looks like Frankenstein shit. Fucking body bags in the closet, I'm sure. Like crazy shit, OK? Not the body bags in the closet I'm sure like crazy shit okay not the body bags and it's just like sterile it smells like hand sanitizer like it's god it's not of course but it's not like a comforting place to be and you lay down if it's not like chick-fil-a I would be even more concerned that would be insane imagine not my compression rod just being

out it's a bralette and then they you under. And I started having a panic attack. I thought they put you out. I put you down. No, it's under. And I was like, wait, what? Down is like death. An animal? Yes.

Yeah, it's like euthanization. Euthanization of a pet. But luckily, I'm friends with my nurse, Megan. And I was like, hold my hand. And as I was going under, like falling asleep, I felt like I was dying. Like I was like, wait, make sure my mom knows I love her. Like they were like, what?

You're just sleeping. Like relax. You're so dramatic. I'm so dramatic. Like for no reason. I get scared. Sorry. Like just now, her message didn't deliver to her boyfriend.

And her boyfriend's on a plane right now coming here. And she thought the plane went down. That was her first thought. Do you think the plane went down. That was her first thought. Do you think the plane went down? I'm like, do you think the copilot and just to update everyone, he did answer me. So let's talk about how your boyfriend's living with you this summer. Yeah. How is it? How does that? Are you excited for that? I'm excited.

I'm a little nervous. I would hate that more than anything. Not even just saying that as a bitter single person because I know my vibrators keep me alive. But I'm a little nervous. Not. I'm a little nervous. How much closet space? That's what I'm nervous about. Because I'm crazy about messes. Like if there's a mess, I'll be like literally get the fuck out. Is he messy? No, he's very organized, but like just stuff. Like there's so much stuff. Yeah., he's this size 16 shoe, Halle. Like, it's going to take up my entire living room, like, his shoe. Like, it's too much.

But I'm excited because we're long distance, and I haven't seen him in two months. And like, it's only three months. So then he goes back overseas. So it's a means to an end. It's not like we're living together forever. And I'm like, like, it's a means to an end. It's not like we're living together forever. I feel like. Like it's a little trial run.

You get to know a person a lot when you're living with them. It's like, when was the last time you had a roommate? College. Yeah. Yeah. But you get to fuck them. So I guess it's nice. Yeah.

And I have nightmares every night that someone's breaking into my apartment and like killing me. Oh, and I woke up this morning and I was like, you know what? Now I have like a bodyguard in my apartment. That's like my biggest fear. Yeah. Recently. Actually, I'm so used to living alone. And I live in a very secure, secure building.

Like very secure. Yeah. But recently, I realized that my door had just been unlocked for like three months. That's how I lived the first year in my building. Marco just walked in and I was like, how'd you get in here? And I was like,

You're like, wait, when did you get here? I'm like, wait, these doors are unlocked? I didn't know you had to like lock it after. Yeah, I also have fears that like my Uber Eats drivers, like my Uber Eats drivers probably think I am the weirdest fucking person ever. I open the door and I'm like half an inch. I'm like you can just leave it out there and then I shut it and lock it because I'm so scared someone's gonna

lunge at me and like kill me. Yeah I don't where'd you grow up? I need to stop Rhode Island. Did you grow up in like a suburb? Yeah. So I grew up like in a city. Why did I say Rhode Island as if you don't know where I grew up? No, I don't. They don't know. Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. So I grew up in the city of Boston, so I feel like I'm less scared of the city. You grew up around it.

I did not. I grew up in the suburb of all suburbs in Rhode Island. Yeah, and I feel like, yeah, that makes a difference. But maybe I should be a little more, a little less naive. You should be a little less fearful of your surroundings. Because no one's going to attack me. It's more so, honestly. That happens in New York.

I know. Like, hate? Yeah. That shit just happens. That was on the street. That was crazy. That was so crazy. But I feel like we should lock our doors for like our things.

OK, this is like a dumbass fucking conversation. Like, obviously, I should lock my door, like point blank period. Let's go to the next subject. Let's talk about Niantucket. Let's talk about it. And the boy sucked off sideways. Yeah. And I had been in like a little of a mental drought. Oh, actually, I wasn't in a mental drought. I was in a physical drought because I got cut open.

Yeah. Scalpel. Well, yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah. So I was just like in a little bit of a drought, like couldn't really use my vibe-yana. And you know Nantucket, there's really hot guys. Yeah. Okay. And I remember I was on the ferry and I go, I'm going to get laid this weekend. And when I put that into the universe, what happens? It comes back to you tenfold. It comes back. Yeah I also feel like I'm gonna have a slutty I all I'd want to do this summer is work and

be a slut. Yeah. But like not like a sex worker that came out really wrong. No just like be outside. Productive and seductive. Productive and seductive. I want to have a productive and seductive summer. Title. Productive and seductive summer. Title. Productive and seductive summer. I want to be Sakiana on the weekends and hitting the fucking books in the streets. No, not the streets. On the weekdays I want to be in here with a microphone in hand and getting my shit done.

Yeah. We're going to have a great summer. No, it's going to be a great summer. And this Nantucket wine weekend, if you guys don't know, basically it's a weekend where wine connoisseurs flock to the island of Nantucket. It's true. And all the Vino's are out and there's a bunch of different like wine events and like wine tastings and pairings with the restaurants.

I have a lot of like a lot of restaurant openings. Psalms as far as the eye can see. Yeah. But like so much wine. It could take a horse out. Yeah. We did a like a family dinner at Halle's parents house house one night and it was me, Halle, Grayden, Jordan, and her parents. We went through like, I think, six bottles of wine in two hours.

And wine gets me so giggly drunk. But also, wine makes me horny. Red wine. It's tough when you're at your parents' house and you're horny from drinking too much red wine. Yeah. Yeah. So this is what I found out this weekend. I've learned this. One, wine makes me horny as fuck and that I can't be stopped when I'm drinking wine.

Two, that if Liv and Lauren aren't physically by my side, bad things happen. But really good things happen, too, at the same time for them. Do you want me to tell them what happened when you came home? The thing is, I almost stayed in. I know. I was so close to staying in the whole day. I was like, you know, let's just drink wine with my parents

and let's call it an early night. Let's be adults. Me and Lauren were so excited when you said that. We were like, I kind of want to stay in tonight. We were like, you know, let's just drink wine with my parents and let's call it an early night. Let's be adults. We were, me and Lauren were so excited when you said that. We were like, I kinda wanna stay in tonight. We were like, yes! But also I didn't like, I knew Grayden wanted to go out because he was on one. And the thing I don't like about being a mature adult

right now is like, you guys didn't wanna go out and we wanted to go out. There was no like, you have to go out right now. I hate when fucking people do that. Yeah, I do too. Like the more and more of like age into my twenties, I'm like, if someone doesn't wanna go out, It's fine.

Don't fucking force them, you're weird for that. Yeah, I used to do that in college. No, I used to do that in college. My roommates, I'd be like, what the fuck, you're all boring. That's okay to do in college. Yeah, that's true. It's fucking weird to do when you're pushing 30. Facts.

That's weird behavior. Holly and Grayden, so we had a really boozy, wine-heavy dinner. We had steak. We had an amazing meal with her parents. And then Lauren, Jordan, and I were really tired. And Holly and Grayden were on one. We go one way, they go the other. So I dropped you guys off at Crew.

You guys were in good spirits. You were like, let's have a drink. Literally, I heard you in the car say, let's like have a drink and just like have fun. Then we'll go home. We'll be back. So we got to Crew. Crew was closed for a wine event,

which we probably should have thought of. Oh. And as we're getting there, we run into this group of people, the guy that owns the winery. Got it. And they had tickets to the event. Got it.

But they couldn't get us in. Oh. Well, we didn't really try. If I really wanted to get in a crew, I think I could get in. 100%. 100%. But we were with like a lot of people. So like, let's just go to like a dive bar

and like, let's fuck it up. So we went to Gaslight. Oh, fun. And like the drinks are fucking flowing at Gaslight. Gaslight is some lethal drinks that just tastes so good Yeah, like they're watermelon smashy drinks with what's up? I'm tucking in every single cocktail tasting like juice and it gets you in hammer. No, like literally I was blacked the fuck Was probably on other substances too. I don't even know at that point. Yeah, but I was

Rocked I but I was rocked. I was rocking. Wait, what's a good way to say it? I was hammered. I was on one or two. That's what I was saying. Okay. And with this group of people, and the more I drink, and there's this guy,

and I know this guy. Like, is it the guy? The guy I blast. Got it. And the bar this guy. Like is it the guy? The guy I blast. Got it. And the bar closed down. Nantucket Laws are the same as Massachusetts Laws. So early. Bars closed at like one or like midnight.

So fucking early. So early. So there's a lot of post games on Nantucket. And we're with this group and like the guy they were with had us like right off like town. Yeah. So it right off town. So it was walking distance.

Oh, that's nice. And if it's close enough walking distance where I can walk there, because you know I fucking hate walking. I'll over 500 feet. I know. But I feel like you hate walking in New York. Yeah, because it's not safe. Walking on Nantucket is fine.

I know. Walking in Nantucket is cute. It is cute. Cobblestones. But hard to walk in heels on cobblestones. All right, we're losing the point Sorry, so we go this postgame and the more I'm like taking shots and like swigging from the fucking handle of Tito's The more attractive this guy is to me. Oh, and then I was like green was like do you want to go home?

I was like, no, I'm gonna fuck this guy already decided. Yeah, we're like making out in the kitchen I try to suck him off in the kitchen. I Literally try to pull down this guy's pants in the kitchen. And people were like, what are you doing? So we go, let's go to the bathroom. So I go to the bathroom with this guy and we're like aggressively making out. Like he's taking off his shirt.

This man is also very hot. He's very hot. Like, I don't know. Probably will never talk to him again. Well, he asked for your number. He said, how do I contact you? And you said, you don't know probably will never talk to him again right well he asked for your number he said how do I contact you and you said you don't I know you don't you don't you know how he's like if the stars align we'll meet again I go if you can guess my number was me that's Halle's wife saying why don't you fuck off no I was being a fuckboy when I left. I go, this is so fun, but I work in the morning.

Yeah. Like Saturday. Anyways, he gets fully naked in the bathroom. And I'm like, that gave me the heck. Yeah. It reminded me of Naked Billionaire. Yeah. It was giving that vibe.

I'm like, why are you butt ass naked? I'm like, wait, we were just kissing. Why are you fully naked? You look like a baby. No. Like, why are you naked? No, I'm like, why are you ass? Like You look like a baby. No. What are you doing? Why are you naked? No, I'm like, why are you ass? Literally clothes are off.

Socks are off. No, literally. He's ready to mount. Yeah. OK. There's a whole ass party going on in the room next to us. Yeah, like, you could have just slipped your pants down. And I was kind of ect out that he was so assuming

that I would fuck him. Yes, that's a major ect think what do you think you are babe? I was like wait, this isn't a fucking Wendy's drive-thru. Yeah, literally. We're in the bathroom of this cottage Yeah, like I felt like Mary had a little lamb in the cottage Yeah, I was like like I was about to find some like porridge and the kitchen and barrage Yeah, like that walls were probably so like was so thin. Yeah, like no. Absolutely not. And I'm not quite.

Yeah. A moment of silence for that. Yeah, anyways. But like, I was like, no, we're not doing this here. We have to go back to the post game. And also like, I knew like everyone out there. Yeah. It would be like a bad look.

So when did you? Or like an extremely great on brand look. So what happened after that? When did you guys? So then we were like making out in the kitchen after that. I was like put your clothes back on. Okay so it went kitchen, bathroom, kitchen. Yeah back to the kitchen.

Got it. But then it was like more harmless making out in the kitchen. Yes. And then people kept walking by and then I was like ugh. It's just weird. Absolutely. Yeah. Also like in the like it was fun funnier when I had an audience.

Wait, so did you go home with him? No, we went upstairs. Oh, okay. I was wondering where you went. So it was his friend's post game. Got it. Grayden just like Irish accident. Yes.

Grayden, we're like sitting around like a little table like this, Grayden just like stands up, his fucking seven foot ass, and just walks out the front door. He doesn't even say bye. He doesn't say bye to anyone, just walks out the front door, like, where did he go? No, that's a true Irish exit.

No, that's a true. Irish exiting from the bar is fine, because everyone else is talking. When you're at a fucking campfire, and you just get up and leave, that shit's crazy. No, like, say goodbye. There wasn't even music playing. It was so funny.

Singing with silence, and then Graydon's going. Graydon goes, goodbye, say goodbye. There wasn't even music playing. It was so funny. It was silence and then Grayden's going. Grayden goes goodbye motherfuckers. So it was crazy. So the way that this night went for me, so me and Holly were sharing a room on it. No, wait, I'm not done with the story. Oh, okay, sorry. So we go upstairs and it's like a twin bed. Oh, but like smaller. It's almost like not even a twin bed. It's like a twin bed. Oh. But like smaller. It's almost like not even a twin bed. It's like a mini twin. No, yeah. Almost like a, what are they called?

What are babies put in? Wait, a crib? It was the size of a crib with like- I'm scared. Yeah, it was giving crib vibes. Okay. So he's trying to fucking melt me on the crib. I don't like that.

My eye- Melt me on the crib. I don't like that my eye I I can't have sex in any other position besides On top or if like I'm on my back and like holding my chest. Yeah. Yeah Missionary missionary, but like he can't have any of his body weight on me You would need to be doing push-ups. He would literally have to be mounting me in a plank position Yeah, that's that's what which I think was like half of it and then I was like this is no fun for me. Yeah. There's like no friction down there. No, it's giving like starfish. Yeah. Yeah. No one likes starfish. No, no one likes a flounder. Also like why did I fuck this guy after I just got the

ick for him thinking like for me thinking like he wanted to fuck me. Yeah, but it's easy to look back and say you had the ick like in the moment Like, if you're in that headspace, it's like, yeah, let's fucking go. And I just remember, all I could think about was my doctor as I'm hooking up with this guy. Dead. And she was like, no bouncing for two weeks. I'm riding this guy bouncing on his fucking kakiana. And it just wasn't good.

I don't know if it's the anesthesia or the fucking me just being really drunk. I was like, I'm not going to finish. So there's no point of me being here. I mean, honestly, it's tough when you're wearing your bra, right? No. Oh, you weren't? I took the compression bra off. Well, it's hard to feel sexy when you're in pain.

I wasn't in pain. But I just wasn't going to finish. And one thing about me is like there's no point in me being there if I'm not gonna have an orgasm. Yeah I love that. Like I'm not like letting a man finish and you're not here to like serve this man. No like I'm not here like this is not this is charity work. Yeah it was charity work it felt like but like I'm not like about like we're both finishing it. If I'm not gonna finish you're not finishing either. Yeah so did you guys just stop and you know. Yeah I just stopped and I was like about like we're both finishing it. If I'm not gonna finish, you're not finishing either. Yeah, so did you guys just stop and you left?

No, yeah, I just stopped and I was like, oh, like I pretend like it hurt. Yeah. Which is such like a go-to move. Yeah, that's gonna be my go-to. I'm like, oh, let's stop. Then I was like, wait, I should really get going. Yeah, Halle's such a fuckboy.

She's like, I'm not sleeping here. Yeah, I was like, I can't sleep here. My parents will be like, where the fuck are you? Which is honestly real. You don't do sleepovers ever, do you? I barely. I mean, that one guy I was hooking up with a while ago stayed at my apartment a few times.

But that was honestly out of the mere fact that I did not want to go back to his. You really blessed him. You gave him a place to stay. No. Like, let's be real. That was like a hotel. It was like a little go back to him. You really blessed him. You gave him a place to stay. No. Like, let's be real. That was like a hotel. It was like a little getaway for him.

No, literally it was like an Airbnb. Yeah. It was like a five star hotel for him. Let's be real for a second. No, yeah. And if he didn't dog my girl, I wouldn't have just went in on him like that, but just no.

He didn't dog me. Well, anyway, so do you want me to tell my perspective of this night? Well, I was pissed when I got home. Yeah. So how he comes home for him, by the way, I'm sleeping and I'm like a light sleeper. I hear Holly the way she walks. I thought I was attacking you. No, I thought I was scared for half a second.

Then I realized it was you. And then I actually stayed. She was attacking you. No, I thought I was scared for half a second then I realized it was you. And then I actually stayed, she was so entertaining. I was like, B, five, four, five. Wake up, motherfucker. Who just got home? She was so, she was so, guys, it was 4 a.m. She was so entertaining

that I literally propped myself up to watch her. Like I didn't even want to go back to bed. B, five, four, five. She walks in, she's ripping her clothes off. And then I wake up, cause she made like a loud noise. I think like something slammed or something. And you look over at me. Probably my head on like the door.

Probably. And you look over at me and you're just staring to see if I wake up. And I wake up and you go, sorry. And I was like, it's okay. Good morning. And you're like, I'm so fucking pissed. I'm like, it's okay, good morning. And you're like, I'm so fucking pissed. I'm like, why?

She's like, I can't believe I just added a number on that man. I go, I can't believe I just wasted a fucking body on that guy. Yeah, and she was just stomping around like mad. I hate when I wasted body though. But it was like funny, man. Not to sound like fucking slut,

but like I lowkey am slut. Oh. And I will claim that. OK. Claim it, girl. I don't have a small body count. It's not crazy. No, you told me it, and I don't think it's that crazy.

No, it could be scarier. People probably think it's a lot scarier than it is. It's not bad. I'm not wonny blue. I can bring her up on this fucking show. Shout out Bonnie again. No, your body count isn't crazy. Also, even if it was, it's OK.

No, even if it was, I don't fucking care. I literally don't care. What's that? It builds character. Every experience I've had with a guy has taught me something. Yeah, it was on your path. Or a position. It was on my path to greatness.

Yeah, stomping around, slamming shit, trying to get dressed. I literally laid out her pajamas and compression bra for her and made her bed because I knew she was gonna come home a little, you know, crunk. And I needed her to put her compression bra back on because she would go out, take it off. Like we're supposed to wear these bras.

I'm wearing mine right now. For a few weeks. I'm wearing mine right now too. Yeah, we're supposed to wear these bras. I'm wearing mine right now. For a few weeks. I'm wearing mine right now too. Yeah, we're supposed to wear them for a few weeks, but like when we go out, it's tough with some of our clothes. You know, it's a warm out, we want our tits out, whatever. So I laid it out for her, she gets home, she's like, where's my bra?

I'm like, it's on your bed. She's like, oh. She finally gets in bed and she's just like, fuck that guy, like whatever, whatever. And in the morning she was like, he was kind of sweet. No. It was just really funny. You kind of had to be there.

I wish you all could see Halle in that state because it's so funny. I was pissing my pants. Mid-sleep, I wasn't even pissed that she woke me up mid-REM. That's how funny she was being. Stomping around like a little fucking elf on the shelf, like your tiny little legs, you're like, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.

It was so funny. I just like in that moment had so much instant regret. Yeah. Because I didn't finish, I was pissed. Yeah, it's okay. And then you woke up at noon. Like what's the point? Like literally what's the point?

I don't understand. It's okay, as you said, it builds character. But anyways, it's another contact to add to your roll of dice. He owned a winery. That's what I'm saying. So it was only fitting that I fucked a guy with like a winery on wine weekend. Yeah. And if that wine company gets a budget, you know who to hit up. Yeah. Anyways, what else do you want to talk

about today? Let's talk about our friends getting engaged. Let's talk about, oh, our friend's getting engaged. Lauren's getting engaged this weekend. So our best friend Lauren is getting engaged, and by the time this episode comes out, she will know. She will have the rock. Obviously she's going to be like, yeah! She's going to be like, mothafucka! Yeah, this is going to be her this summer, and this is going to be us this summer.

Yeah, that's her thing. It's going to be great. Her thing is her rock. Yeah. And our thing is our rocks our rocks. Yeah. Yeah together. We have five rocks She is like a lot of rocks on her finger though Yeah, she does a beautiful ring and our best friend like they're dating like they're both our best friends Yeah, so he's like coordinating the engagement with us. When I tell you this man, I hope this is the only time he ever does this in his life because he's the worst planner,

the worst executor of the engagement I've ever seen like in my entire life. I'm like, I think he's pranking us. I'm like, we're the cameras because this is not real. Okay. Yeah. It's insane. We're in a group chat.

He does have like a beautiful brunch planned with the families the next days. Like he planned the events out well, but the way that- No, very basic things. But the way that he's trying- You're giving him too much credit. The way I feel bad because we're about to fucking dog him.

He'll forgive me. Love you, Jordan. Love you, Jordan. The way I feel bad because we're about to fucking dog him. He'll forgive me. Love you, Jordan. Love you, Jordan. The way that he is trying to, he's like, okay, this is what I'll say to get her, because he wants to do it on the roof of their apartment. It's beautiful. Like they always go up there.

It's like a special place to them. So he wants to do it up there and he's like, okay, this is how I'm going to lure her up. I'll say Air Force. How should I get her on the roof? The things he said, he's like, oh, there's an alien invasion. We need to go look at it. Air Force. How should I get her on the roof? The things he said, he's like, oh, there's an alien invasion. We need to go look at it.

Air Force One is flying by. Should I just tell her like Air Force One is flying overhead? I'm like, what are you, like, are you like an NYC tour guide or something? Like, what did they talk about on their free time? No, like, just ask her to go upstairs. Yeah.

No, but like, he should have a reason. But like, there's better reasons than being like, oh, if you look to your left, there is the Brooklyn Bridge. Like out of the blue, he's like a fucking NYC tour guide. He's like, into your right, there's a statue of liberty. And at 12 o'clock, we have the Empire State Building. Like babe.

I'm like, we. Lauren's going to be like, what? Also it's going to be raining. And I told him. Which is funny because a month ago he was like, I'm going, wait. Lauren's going to be like, what? Also, it's going to be raining. Yeah. And I told him. Which is funny. Because a month ago, he was like, I'm going to do it on this day on the roof. And Halle goes, what if it rains?

He goes, ha ha, good point. But it won't, though. We were like, what? What if it's literally raining? Are we meteorologists? Yeah. And I'm like, she's going to be pissed. He also wanted to have the engagement party when

I was busy. I'm her best fucking friend. She would have been pissed and said no and revoked it. Yeah. She would've been like what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. Like I have to go to a wedding this weekend? Yeah. And like not like what? I don't think he knew. I told him our schedules don't align. Yeah and then he changed it. Yeah obviously. I I mean, it's just crazy. But like, so happy for her. They've been so happy for them.

Yeah, they're going to be, you know, they've been dating for so long. So long. And so long. And Lauren's just waiting. It's like a bad weekend to be single, Halle. I mean, I'm going to a fucking wedding, and then my best friend's getting engaged,

and then your boyfriend's flying in to live with you for the summer. But you can like just make out with us. Here I am just masturbating in the corner. No, no. Honestly, honestly, yeah. Honestly, yeah. Honestly, yeah.

On Nantucket, it was so funny. Lauren's like, obviously, Lauren doesn't know when, Lauren knows it's soon, because Lauren's like on, like on his ass, and just like on top of everything always. We were on Nantucket last week, obviously, and Jordan one morning really wanted to go dip in the ocean at 8 a.m. before anyone woke up.

It was a quiet, beautiful Saturday morning, and Lauren's like, it's gonna happen. So they go to the beach. She's told me once I got back that she was patting him down like a TSA agent and being like, where's the ring? This would've been perfect, and he's like, what? Like, she has, I will say this, say, Agent, and being like, where's the ring? This would have been perfect. And he's like, what? She has, I will say this, love her to death.

But I don't know if she's letting him make it a special moment for him, too. Because yes, the engagement is like, she's receiving a ring. But it's special for him, too. And he should be able to do it on his timeline and how he wants to do it. Do I think that he should have done it on the beach where it was a private moment, on Nantucket?

That's also a very special place for them too, and we would have all been together afterwards anyways and we could have celebrated with a bunch of wine. At brunch. At brunch. Do I think that would have probably been the most perfect place ever to do it yes you know when you put it that way yeah yeah yeah he maybe dropped the ball on that one yeah but he wants to do it on the roof their apartment complex yeah I think it is special to them, but like I don't go up there much. This weekend, Halle and I were like, Lauren, let him just stop because she's trying to

guess what day it is. We're like, Lauren, stop. And she said the reason that she so needs to know, needs to know, is because she like hates surprises. And then your mom made a great comment to her. And she was like, she literally whipped around. She was like, Lauren, babe, listen to me. This is one of the greatest and few surprises of your entire lifetime.

Too wise. Yeah, I know. She was like, just let him go. Let him do it. Let him do it. You're going to be so happy you did. You don't want to micromanage this. And Lauren was like, honestly, great perspective.

And I feel like since her mom said that, Lauren's been just like, you know what? My hands are off the wheel. I really like want my mom on my podcast. You have to. Because she is like so wise and profound and just like, there's nothing she has ever said that hasn't been like true about relationships, anything, friendships, and just life in general. And we're just bitching and moaning about so many things, like when I was growing up and in college

and about my future. And she's just always a calming force. Like things are going to work out. You should have her on. I know. She'd be great. She would be great. She's great.

I love her. She's like my Mel Robbins. Yeah. She really is. She really is my Mel Robbins. She's great. I love she's like my like Mel Robbins. Yeah, she really is. She really is my Mel Robbins. She's just like such a comforting like mother figure. Obviously, she's mom. Like if my if my dad didn't have my mother in his life, he would be like the fucking Tasmanian devil. Yeah, like devil. Yeah, she she's his rock. Yeah, he would

be a force to be reckoned with and he would honestly be Tasmanian devil. Yeah. Like devil. Yeah. She's his rock. Yeah. He would be a force to be reckoned with, and he would honestly be insufferable. He still is a force to be reckoned with. But he would be so much more insufferable. But she also keeps him grounded, but still lets him be his crazy self, which I love. He'll say the craziest shit, funniest shit, and your mom's just like, okay. They do have the most beautiful marriage.

Yeah. They honestly set the standards extremely high for me. Yeah. And it's one of the reasons why I look at relationships with such patience because I'm like, I'm not putting up with any fucking bullshit. If this is the example that's been set for me in my whole entire life. Yeah. Like they have such a beautiful thing. Like do you see how the way they act at brunch or dinner the first night? My parents aren't very affectionate.

Or if they are, it's like never been in front of me and my brother. And like, love my parents to death. But like, that is something I do wish I had a little more of in my life, was like seeing my parents be affectionate. And your parents do that. They're not like PDA disgusting.

But like, they're they snuggle. Like, yeah, honestly, they like snuggle at dinner and they like kiss and they hug. And like, I think it's just like beautiful. Do you hear what my dad says? He's like, I'm going to toss your mom around like a tornado victim later. Yeah, he does.

He does. She's like, why are you? Or he'll just like randomly grab her tits and be like, these are mine. And we're like, honestly, goals. He's like, they're mine. She's just wearing them. I bought them. Honestly, goals. But I feel like they're She's just wearing them. I bought them.

Honestly, goals. But I feel like they're a good team. They're such a team. Whenever because you need to do everything. They're a lot of siblings. You guys all have very big personalities and we all problems whenever there's chaos in the house. I've never seen your parents go against each other.

It's always them to at least from what I've seen, like they're a team and they like tackle things together, which I love to see. The thing is, maybe it seems like that, but my mom has always taken on like every single one of our battles. Yeah. My dad just kind of like, I don't know what... That's it. Yeah.

He's like, I don't know what your... That's your shtick. That's your shtick. This is my shtick. Yeah. That's your shtick. Like she'll behtick. This is my shtick. Yeah. That's your shtick. Like she'll be like, Chucky,

like we should have this conversation together with them. Like, or she's like, nah, it's on you. Yeah, your dad is very, he's not much of like a hand holder. No. Yeah. To him, he's like, you're so much better at those conversations with them. Like the emotional stuff.

Yeah. Which she is, like my mom, like... At least he's self-aware. Yeah. He's like, you do it, you're better at it mom like he's self-aware. Yeah, he said you do it You're better at I know but I think it's are you better at it or is like this is harder for me. Yeah, you know Yeah, that's a really good point, but they're fun in together and also that's the reason I won't settles because those motherfuckers Those motherfuckers no parents are perfect. No, they're this is their first time living too I know that like I always say that it makes me sad

Why because whenever I just think back to like high school and college when I was so fucking mean to my parents because I was Just like a little bitch. We're gonna have that too. I don't feel bad, but now I feel bad I'm like I true here so well now because I was so awful in college I was like fuck you like I wasn't like I was so scared of my mom. I wasn't scared of my I wasn't scared of my dad Yeah, like if you never like no one ever raised their voice to my mom ever ever ever She like scares the fucking shit. She's the queen of the house. Yeah, she is the matriarch Yeah, she is my dad doesn't even raise her voice his voice to honestly I can kind of relate to that I I'm more scared of my mom than my dad

But I feel like we're like daddy's girls. Like we're like close with our dads, you know? Yeah, well, my dad's the youngest daughter. Yeah. Same. My dad's the youngest daughter. My dad hates to see a daughter coming. That was me.

Yeah. Your dad hates to see you coming. My dad follows me on TikTok. No, your dad fucking loves you. My dad follows me on TikTok. Think about that. I feel like your dad's favorite things about you are your absurdities.

Yeah. He's like, that's my girl, but I don't want to hear about the blah, blah, blah. Yeah. He's like, ah, we can stop the conversation right here. Like I begged them. I begged them not to watch my Call Her Daddy episode. Did they watch it? I don't think so. But my grandmother did. I remember that. And she didn't know how to pause it. Sammy was telling us about that. Yeah, and she was on the phone with like, like I was in the room and like she like didn't know how to turn her iPad, like iPad off and like press pause. And I was like, that ain't even f**k me in the a**. It was like a human centipede situation. And she didn't know how to press pause. Oh my god, she was traumatized.

She was honestly, I'm shocked it didn't put her in a coma dose. Yeah, it might have. Yeah, it still might. It still might. She still hasn't looked me in the eye since then. That's insane. I felt bad, but someone's gotta say it. Someone's gotta say it.

I'm not like the first person ever that's ever had sex. That's the crazy part. No, but you're one of the first people who talks the way you do, which I think is why people love you so much. I'm like, this is, I didn't like, I'm not like the founder of sex.

I just talk about it. And I think people should. Founder of sex. Yeah, sex TM. Sex TM. Sex are us. Sex are us. Yeah, someone this weekend, I forget who said to me like,

oh, where'd you get those new things? Tits are us? Think it might've been your dad. I think it was. He was like, you guys both went to tits are us. We were like, yeah. I didn't tell my parents I had gotten that surgery. And then I was like, mom, I...

Yeah. Oh, and then at the dinner table, your dad found out when we were having family dinner. He goes, wait, I thought she already got those. You were like, I got the same thing last week. He was like, oh. He was like, great. Okay. Like at this point? Okay. I saw someone posted a TikTok the other day and it was like about me or something.

And then the comments were like, don't idolize this girl. Like she talks about getting ran through and her parents let her get her tits done. I'm like, I'm almost 30. Yeah, babe, babe. I'm almost 30 years old. That's insane. Her parents let her get her boobs done. Her parents let her go out.

Her parents let her stay out late at night. Yeah. Like, babe, we're pushing 30. We're pushing 30. I can do whatever the fuck I want, Tiana. Yeah, motherfucker. Okay. Should we do questions?

Yeah, let's do questions. Okay. I'm like covering my pants. I just want everyone to know, these jeans give me like a bulge. You're just fucking happy to be here. Look. Honestly, I've been wanting to suck it this whole time.

Oh my god, that's crazy. I was kidding. Production's scared. Sorry. Yeah, I don't know what to do with this. All right, we're going to answer some questions that you guys wrote or intact or dirty. This is honestly my favorite part of the show. What's your ideal situation ship?

My ideal situation ship is a relationship. That's honestly valid. Yeah. My honest, I don't want a situationship. I kind of do want one that works, they just don't work. I don't think situations work because it's never like, like someone's gonna, it's always a situation for someone. There's no black and white.

Like when you're in a relationship, there's a label that comes with like, okay, now we like really hold yourself to like respecting each other. Don't like, there's certain boundaries you cannot cross because you're in a relationship. Situationship, there's no boundaries. The thing is like, I'm busy. I'm traveling so much right now.

An ideal situationship for me would be just literally that someone that's available for sex. Yeah. And that's what I try to like make happen and then I get caught up or like they think I like them too much. Should they stop having sex with me? Which is so crazy to me. I'm like, I have no one in New York right now

that I can just hit up for just casual sex. Yeah, cause they're all weird. They're all weird and like kind of gay. It all starts off well and then they're like, listen, this is getting too much. It's like, maybe it's getting too much for you, babe. Like no one over here wants to date you. And like, like literally no one said they wanted to date you, babe.

The D word never left my mouth. No. The like word never even left your mouth ever. Like you like seriously, these men are actually they act like women. And like I give great head Yeah, I look at it as like a loss for that. It is a loss and I hope they're mourning me. You're an asset No, I'm an asset with no ass women are the asset men are not Yeah, okay. My ideal situation chip though would just be basically someone I can hit up when I'm in town for casual sex Yeah, and that like doesn't annoy me like don't annoy me and like don't have conversation with me after no pillow talk would just be basically someone I can hit up when I'm in town for casual sex. Yeah.

That doesn't annoy me. Don't annoy me and don't have conversation with me after. No pillow talk. Honestly, I don't even want to see their head hit the fucking pillow. Oh, I'm out. I'm later. Later. So you wouldn't even want to have sleepovers.

No, not even in any position. You wouldn't even want to go on a fun dinner date. When have I gone on a date ever? Well people ask you on dates. You wouldn't even want to go on a fun dinner date. When have I gone on a date ever? Well, people ask you on dates. You just don't want to go. I don't want to go. I do not come. She will not come.

Remember that billionaire daddy? I went on a date with him. Yeah. Where did you guys go? Where did he take you? I have nothing against. I find him super attractive. Yes, he is.

We had so much fun on the date, we were making out the whole time. I had the best time. The thing is, I'm just mentally not like he's older and probably in a place where he'd probably be more keen to go on more dates. Yeah. And also, I've found that this podcast in What I do for a living has a major impact on who I sleep with and who I go on dates with. Oh yeah.

It truly is not for the weak. There has been a shift. Cause yeah, no, they're a hundred percent like, it's not for a weak man. It's not. And I sleep and I tend to sleep with weak men. You tend to sleep with men who have like self-esteem issues. Yeah, that don't want to be talked about, which I respect.

Yeah, but if someone asks you not to talk about them, you don't. Yeah, I don't. You actually don't. You respect it. Until they cross me. Until they, yeah, until they're like fucking weird and then you're out of the picture and it's, you know. Yeah, then I don't really care.

Yeah. But if someone asks me not to talk about them and to respect that boundary, I make it a point not to because I'm not out here trying to ruin people's lives. Absolutely not. And give people anxiety and be a fucking dickhead. Yeah. Like there's plenty, trust me,

there's plenty of people that I've slept with that I've never mentioned on this show. And do you wanna know why? Cause they politely asked not to and she said, of course, I'll respect your wishes. And then they didn't send me a weird fucking task like and then they didn't cross me. Yeah. Yeah.

But once I'm crossed you'll be brought up. So I think the yeah seriously I think the billionaire was not good for you because last time we saw him he was like hey I just like I haven't eaten or drank any sugar in two months. I'm like not drinking I'm sober I'm like okay you're like on a weird path you need to move to LA babe. He also didn't he doesn't like what I do I know that for'm sober. I'm like, okay, you're like on a weird path. You need to move to L.A., babe. He also didn't, he doesn't like what I do. I know that for a fact. Got it. Yeah, which is fine. I'm not for everyone.

But like, I wanna end up with someone that's like okay with what I do here. No, you need someone who like champions you. Yeah. Who's like, get it. Like, you see how Matt is with Alex. Like, he loves what you're doing. Yeah, he's like industry adjacent.

Yes. I need someone that's kind of like industry adjacent. You do. Like that's what I do. You need someone who understands it. But like isn't like in front of the camera heading the fucking renegade being like. You need someone who's not sitting on their phone

watching all your clips all day. Like you need someone who's busy and knows that this is work and like, it's not that serious. Yeah, I don't need anyone with like a link in bio. No, no thank you. Next. Next. How would you know when to let a man go?

That's deep. Next, next. How do you know when to let a man go? That's deep. That's deep. Honestly, if he's just not treating you the way that you think that you deserve to be treated, which takes a while for people to get there because I feel like people give, I feel like women give men the benefit of the doubt until like they're fucking blue in the face

if they really like someone. Yeah. It's tough. It is. We've all been guilty of that. It's so tough. I feel like it's a little easier when you're in a situation versus when you're fully immersed in a relationship. That's really tough.

But I think the second a man has me questioning myself or comparing myself to other people or just if I'm unsure of my man's intentions, you're not my man. And I don't want anything to do with you. But like, some people aren't ready for, you know, intentional men. Yeah, which is so true. Which is like a sign of like,

maybe you're not ready for a serious relationship. I just saw a clip, I think it was on Jake Shane's podcast, where it was like, you always want the guy that you have to chase after. You always want the guy that doesn't give you attention, but God forbid a guy does give you attention, or God forbid a guy doesn't make you taste, then what? It's always the person that isn't giving you

what you want in that moment. And I feel like when you're in that head space, as you said, you're not ready for an actual relationship, so it's just not gonna work. Which is kind of where I feel like when you're in that headspace, as you said, you're not ready for an actual relationship. So it's just not gonna work. Which is kind of where I feel like I'm at because there has been guys that are intentional, ask me out, kind of check all the green flag boxes, but I don't think I'm ready for green flags.

But then it begs the question, then when are you ready? How do you get ready? And I think the answer to that is the right man comes into your life. I think for me, I'm not, you know, fully secure with myself yet and until like I'm in a headspace mentally, physically where I'm like completely feel whole and healthy and like, you know, positive minded in that.

Where like I wouldn't even feel like like even if I was with a healthy guy or like a fully green flag guy if you're not like good yourself you're going to still be like gaslighting and like creating situations totally and maybe not trusting him just because you're feeling insecure to yourself I agree with that to an extent because they're like you can disagree with me babe like you can work on those things with the right person. Like the right person is going to make you feel like it's okay that you're fucking crazy. Let's work on it. Yeah.

Like why are you insecure about that? I'm not going to do that to you. You can trust me. Let's work on it. Not all men are like there for that, you know? So what you said is true. You need to be good with yourself, but you can still have things that bother you or things you're not great at or whatever, and like the right person you can work on those things with together.

I also think that a lot of these people that write in these questions, to my knowledge, or I would guess they're probably early 20s, you know, young girls, college girls, girls right out of college. You guys are so young. Like it's okay to be single and just like, you know, live a little. And the guys you're probably hooking up with, questioning, those guys are so fucking young too, probably. Yeah, they haven't even started.

They haven't even started emotionally maturing yet at all. Like men, like a 23-year-old guy, shoot me in the fucking head with a gawk. Yeah. He's basically 19, babe, mentally. 16. You couldn't hate me. He's mentally seven years younger than you. Always remember that.

A man is always mentally seven years younger. So if I'm like hooking up with a 27 year old guy, he's 21 mentally. What math was? Yes. Let me think, he's 23, he's 22. What, am I okay? So that's why I always am like, age gap is good between nine and 11 years

because then they're on your same fucking wavelength. And also career wise, they've got it figured out. Men should be in, men should be in the fucking books. Yeah. At the age of 23. Not, honestly, no offense. Not focused on... Not in the streets. Becky.

Yeah. Or Susan. Is there an expiration date on a friend's ex? The day they break up, babe. Wait, wait, wait. No, I think they mean, can you, when can they go after the friend's ex? Oh! Never, babe! The day that they drop dead is the expiration date. You cannot go after your friend's ex. And even when they drop dead, do not go to his grave. Funeral. No. No, no, no, no, no. No, yeah. There are billions of people in this world. Your friend's ex is not your man. There

is so much fucking dick in this world. Please. There's literally dick falling out of my ears. Girlfriends, real girlfriendships are so rare. Do not cross that line. How do you guys not get attached to guys? Well, we do. This is what we do.

The thing is, I don't get attached emotionally. I get dickmatized, where I get mesmerized by good ass cock. Yeah. Like even talking about it, I'm like going into it like a that's-over-even hole. I'm like, you're like, you know? Having flashbacks. I'm having flashbacks. Yeah.

How do I not get attached to guys? Like there's guys I've slept with that I'm just like, bye. Bye. Like I did that,'m just like, bye. Like I did that two days ago. I get attached, not even emotionally to men. I just start making up scenarios in my head. And I'm like, I want that.

And he can give me that, even though he probably couldn't, like men in the past. You know me. I ruminate. I make up scenarios. I try to find the ick. I'm not a good person to ask this to. Everyone's like, try to find the good in everyone. Try to find the ick in everyone. Try to find the ick. I'm not a good person to ask this to. Everyone's like, try to find the good in everyone. Try to find the ick in everyone.

Try to find the ick in everyone. Try to find the ick in everyone, okay? That, like, way you can always, like, ration. Also, don't put all your eggs in one basket. You should be having a roster. It is a roster summer. I feel like if this goes hand in hand with what we said before, like, if you're good with yourself, you're not going to get emotionally attached to someone who's not good for you.

Okay, that's a PC answer. I would just say fuck more guys. And like that's how I don't get attached to one singular one. Here. And that's on being a red flag and that's on being a green flag. All right, let's do what's the biggest ick you've ever had

now that we're talking about fucking icks and dicks. Okay, I hate the word ick because like we're pushing 30, but I did have an ick. I love the word ick. OK, I was hooking up with this guy. So cute. This was years ago.

Was he hot? Did he have a big dick? He was hot. He didn't have a big dick. What did he smell like? He smelled like rich Jewish man. Yeah, living in New York on Green Street in Soho. That's what he smelled like. Oh my god, I just got wet. I'm moving rich, Jewish man. Living in New York on Green Street in Soho. That's what he smelled like.

Oh my god, I just got wet. I'm moving to New. So whatever. We have a sleepover. I'm leaving in the morning, and he's like, let's go grab bagels and a coffee. I'm like, cool, let's go. In my offer from the night before, literally disgusting.

Over my dead body would I do that now in Soho. It was insane. That's crazy. And we're walking there and on the way there I happen to glance down at the man's feet. Keep in mind this man was perfect in every other way. I looked down at his feet and he's wearing Alexander McQueen sneakers and he's walking like a duck. And I legitimately never spoke to him again. Because of his sneakers? No, they were disgusting. They were like frat house.

Like it was so crazy and he was walking like, now I'm like shaming him for how he walked, but it was one of those weird things I just like couldn't look past. I was like disgusted. His feet, like his shoes were like ripping apart at the seams. He looked like it was disgusting.

And I said, yeah, no. You look like a recent college graduate and I can't. I get the feeling when a guy asks to go down on me. I'm like, why are you asking? What is this, a Wendy's? Why do I keep saying that? Just do it. Just do it. Just do it.

No, I don't like have like many, everything. You made me feel invalid for Alexander McQueen sneakers being an ick and I just wanna say that's not invalid. Like Alexander McQueen sneakers are crazy. Can we do one more question? Yeah, let's do one more question. I wish we could show our tits. They want us to tell a story of how we became friends.

Okay. This is a beautiful, loving story. And sometimes, especially in your 20s, I feel like it's hard to find real or true new friendships. And I just keep my circle super close. Everyone knows that about me. I have only two or three best friends. Everyone else is at arms like pretty pretty much. Yeah, same. And I don't really talk to anyone else.

Yeah, when we met, I wasn't expecting us to become best friends. Yeah, we met at Zero Bond. We did. No, we met at, we solidified our juices at Zero Bond. Yes, we solidified the juices at Zero, but we met at Cathedral. And we were just chatting for a minute. That was it.

And we have the same sense of humor. Yeah, we do. And we realized that very quickly. We talk, we have the same, like, we just, our humor just flows. But when I met Halle, I was under the impression, I always thought you were fucking hilarious, but I was under the impression that you were like maybe bitchy. Everyone thinks that. And you weren't.

You were like so nice and so warm and like, hey, like come sit here, like let's talk, like let's hang out. And so that was our first time meeting. And then we met up at Zero Bond. You were there with Lauren. That was the night I reached for her mole. And we just chatted for a little bit. And it wasn't until after that we hung out again that we were, I think we just went to dinner or something or a zero bond.

We ate at a drink. You went to Boston. Oh yeah, we went to Blue Ribbon. Yeah. And then we started being like this. Yeah. And we were like, yeah. And we just clicked.

We clicked. You know the girls in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when they're like, let's be friends. Best friends. That was literally up. No, did we just become best friends? Yeah. You legit said that.

You were like, are we best friends? I was like, I think we're best friends. No, Lauren was getting super jealous because at this point in time, I really only had Lauren. I had Emily. I don't have a lot of friends. I consider Emma, Maggie, Paige, those are all really good friends. But they don't live here. Yeah, they don't have a lot of friends. Yeah. Well, I consider like Emma, Maggie, Paige, like those are all really good friends. Yeah, they don't live here. But like in New York. In New York, I mean.

Like then we just like became like a little trio. Yeah, we did. At first Lauren didn't like me. At first Lauren was like, who is this new bitch? Yeah, Lauren was like, I don't know about this. She's very untrusting anyone that like enters the group. Yeah. And the group was just me and her. I had to win over her trust. Yeah.

But we became friends very fast and it wasn't, I feel like I've had that before in the city though, where I meet a girl and we become really close and then like a month later it kind of fizzles out. Do you know what I mean? That happens to me all the time. Yeah, we like hang out and we become really close and then literally a month or two later,

it's like you don't really see that person anymore for whatever reason. Nothing bad happened. It just kind of, you have different lives. But I feel like our lives kind of mesh together. Well, we plan things together. Like our plans are one. Like me, Lauren, and Halle have the same thing

going on every week. We plan everything around each other. And I hadn't had that before. And honestly, it made New York really lonely for me because I had a lot of friends. Like I would go to dinner with Bridget and Danielle. I would go to dinner with whoever, whoever, but then I would get home and it wasn't like

we were texting in group chat 24 seven and like besties. That was hard for me. And like before I met you, I was thinking about moving when my lease was up. I was thinking about moving to LA because I just didn't have like a really solid group here. And I was like, maybe it's just not here. Like maybe I need to go somewhere else. Maybe I need to go to Boston, be with Emma and Maggie because like they're some of my best friends. And I was like, maybe I'll just go be with them. LA.

And then we met and I had like six months left on my lease. And then by the time my lease was up, I had like my own life here because we became so close. And I had a friend group. And like we've just stayed so close since then. What do you think would be like good advice for people making new friends in their 20s? I would say to like give it time and like be patient.

And don't try to be best friends with everyone who wants to get dinner with you. Actually, give yourself time. Obviously, mingle. That's how I met Halle. I was going out. We met out. You need to be social.

You're not going to make best friends by staying home. Trial and error, honestly. Trial and error. I lived here for three years before I met Halle and Lauren. And it was tough. I was kind of depressed. My summers would come, and I also was single. I didn't have that many plans.

It's tough for a while. It's like right when you get to college, trying to find your footing in your group, be patient. Your people will find you. And when they do, you you're gonna be like so happy Yeah, I think that's a great way to end that episode. Yeah All right. I love you so much. I love you more as always like subscribe comment all the good and positive things I love you fucking weirdos

You can watch on YouTube and listen to me on any other Platform as always I love you guys so much and I'll see you next week. Love you. Bye. Motherfuckers. You motherfuckers. Love you motherfuckers.