Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Spilling all of my FIRSTS

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Hallie is back for a sexy, love-filled solo episode!! She recaps a romance-soaked weekend at a recent wedding (yes, she was by far the drunkest guest) and dives into her hottest wedding takes: destination weddings, kids or no kids, cash vs. physical gifts, and the terrifying possibility that she might have to give a speech at Lauren’s wedding... and she’s scared. Then Hallie answers YOUR questions: everything from communication around sex to sex tapes and more. Plus, she spills on all of her firsts: first drink, first hookup, and even her first time clubbing! Enjoy cookie! It's Extra Lovey-Dovey! Follow @extradirty on socials to keep up with Hallie and if you love what you hear, leave a review and subscribe to keep the chaos coming.  

Okay, kids at weddings. This is like, I don't know, this is a toss-up to me. Because, you know, you need the flower girls, although I think I decided I'm gonna have a flower guy. I just want Graydon to like walk down the aisle and just like throw fucking petals at people's heads. Okay guys, I'm doing something really fucking stupid right now. We have an emergency debris situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York Guys I had every intention of staying in last night Welcome back to extra dirty motherfuckers. How is everyone doing? I literally just hopped off a flight from New York It was a 6 a.m.. little bitch ass. I've been awake, I haven't slept in 24 hours, and I feel fucking amazing.

I thought we would start this episode with a little shot of tea doughs just to get the creative juices flowing. And I feel like there's that's the only way I can get through this right now. Not to sound like a fucking alcoholic, but like that's literally the only way I think my creative juices will flow. And also, I know these episodes come out on Thursdays. So like have a shot with me if you're watching like why don't we do that? Let's start Thursday off. Let's have a fucking the weekends right around the corner. Let's have a good time. Hey, whoa, okay. This is a fat fucking shot.

Production's trying to kill me. Tea dose or hand sanitizer. I haven't decided yet. All right. Mm-hmm. Okay, so where should we start? I want to start with talking about love, okay? Let's start this episode. It's brought to you by love and being in love and the fact that it was thrown in my face so much this past weekend needs to be studied. My best friend got engaged. I touched on that a little bit on last week's episode but it officially happened so I want to touch on that a little bit. I also went to a wedding on Saturday. A beautiful influencer wedding. My friend Jazz got married. It was honestly one of the most stunning venues I've ever been at for a wedding. I

haven't been to many weddings but this wedding in particular is beautiful. Apparently it is where Taylor Swift recorded the Blank Space music video or something like that. Something a Swifty would know but she is a Swifty and she was loving that. The weather was supposed to be so bad and she got a what's it called an Etsy witch It was supposed to be raining all weekend So she went on Etsy got this which should perform like a hex or something so wouldn't rain and it fucking works So now all of her tik tok it's like viral about this like Etsy which and I've seen so many videos about being people being like

Oh my god, I was trying to gatekeep this which on Etsy and now like jazz exposed the witch like, oh my god, I was trying to gatekeep this witch on Etsy and now like jazz exposed the witch because it worked it was supposed to be like torrential downpours and she was like no like this Etsy witch is gonna like get me through the weekend it was blue skies and birds fucking tweeting it was gorgeous weather so everyone in Montauk everyone in Nantucket was like thank you jazz for the beautiful weather this weekend because it was due to that fucking Etsy witch. So this wedding, it was full of influencers. We were calling it the Influencer Met Gala. And it was honestly really fun to see influencers

in a setting where they weren't there for work or like any deliverables or like having to be professional in a setting where like you're surrounded by a bunch of people that work with brands and like, where you have to kind of be buttoned up. So it was really nice to see these influencers like let loose a bit, you know, hit the vino and drink the wine and have a shot of tequila

and kind of be like menaces. And it was lovely to see. A lot of people were just getting organic content. I know I've, I saw a lot of comments, people being like, oh my God, everyone's phones were out, blah, blah, blah. And there were so many TikToks. I'm like, influencers are influencers because they enjoy creating content.

That's how they got to where they are. So the fact that there was a bunch of like videos and organic content from that weekend and people were like, oh my God, everyone on their phones. I'm like, that's what they love doing. So like, let them cook. They have a podcast, Jazz and Halle Kate. They have a podcast called Delusional Diaries.

And I remember seeing a clip on my free page and it was like, who's gonna be like the drunkest at the wedding? And they thought it was gonna be like me or this guy named Kian. And trust me guys, I was fucking cross eyed. My glasses had to stay on the whole night. I was running around like,

I just like a chicken that just got her head chopped off I was running around the wedding like the Tasmanian devil I was a force to be reckoned with I couldn't tell you how many cocktails I had and yeah it was a great time and they have such a like cute little love story and they seem so in love with each other and I'm really happy for her. So that was Saturday. The night before Saturday, Friday night, my best friend Lauren got engaged. And the thing is with engagements, I don't know, you know, it's hard to say

because I'm so single, but like, I'm trying to think about what kind of control or input I'm gonna wanna have into my proposal. Because I feel like she, my friend Lauren, took so much creative control and guidance over her own proposal. And I'm like, how much do you wanna leave that up to the guy?

Or do you wanna plan out what weekend you're getting engaged and how you're gonna get engaged and who's gonna be invited to your engagement party like how much does a guy actually have say in that like I know he didn't like have much say in like what the ring even looked like like she even built that herself it's a beautiful ring and I guess she's the one that has to wear it but it was interesting to see because I was like Lauren like stop stressing out about the engagement it's gonna happen at like before the end of May like she knew that and she she's like if it's after May like I'm gonna be

so fucking mad at you she was like giving him shit for the past month but I'm like like let him get down on one knee when he's like ready to get down on one knee you know like if you know it's gonna happen does it really matter how it happens like I'm really wondering like let me know because I feel like for me I would just care about getting the piece of jewelry not like I wouldn't really care about the setting it's in or like when and where it's happening. If I know it's gonna happen then I feel like that would make me happy enough. So anyways we went to a decoy dinner, we brought her out and then he had this little setup on the roof. He didn't even have a photographer or anything like that. It was a very private moment. He even texted me before being like, wait, could you like, um, Uber

package like a tripod to me because like I want to like record it on my own phone. I'm like, get like an Octo buddy, stick it to your phone and like put it in the corner. I don't know what to tell you. But he did a good job and hopefully you only have to do that once because it was stressful for everyone. But she's happy, she's engaged now, so after that Sunday we went, I ubered to Connecticut after getting back from Long Island where my, where the wedding was. I ubered back and then I had to uber back to Connecticut to go to the engagement party which was lovely and again beautiful weather and just like lots of love. And I'm really happy for my friends that are successful in their romantic lives.

But yeah, that like leads to me like another like question I thought of because she's like, oh, obviously you're gonna be a bridesmaid in my wedding. And I was like, huh, like, do I have to give a speech? Like, where's the bachelorette party gonna be like are you doing a destination wedding? These things sound expensive at the end of the day and I love to celebrate my friend's love But I'm like kind of like I don't like love public speaking And I'm wondering if anyone's like ever like obviously I'm gonna do it

And I'm like I was watching Hallie Kate give the maid of honor speech for jazz, and it was so cute, she was so nervous beforehand, but she absolutely ate that fucking shit up. I'm like, what if I do it and I can't deliver? Like I second-guess myself, especially when it's something that's like, sentimental and close to your heart on subjects of love and stuff.

I'm gonna have to be reading it word for word. I even told her maybe we could do that like telepromp thing where I recorded beforehand. Maybe I'll like whip out production and like get podcast equipment and like just do a little segment on my podcast and then we'll just like put it on a teleprompter for everyone at the wedding.

I was like that even would be a better idea but like I'm gonna probably just have to bite the bullet. But I don't know. Like I wonder and this made me like lead to think like I wonder if anyone's been asked to be a bridesmaid not saying I would ever do this like obviously I'm gonna be the maid of honor in a wedding but I'm it made me think like say you're not that close with someone and someone asks will you be a bridesmaid and I feel like sometimes people must do that just to like fill you a bridesmaid? And I feel like sometimes people must do that just to like fill, you know, bridesmaid slots. So I don't like I wonder how close these

people are to some people in these bridal parties. Like, is it ever appropriate to say no? Because like, if someone asked me to be a bridesmaid, it's so different when it's a maid of honor. But if someone asked me to be a bridesmaid in a wedding and I was like not that close to them, I think I would say no. That's like an expense. Not that I'm like cheap or anything, but like it gets expensive. Also, it's a lot of work and planning and I'm a very type B person. And like if you're not that close to someone, like how do you say no? Do you just say you're busy or close to someone, like how do you say no? Do you just say you're busy? Or that you just don't want to spend the money? Like I'm wondering,

is that rude? I don't know, I'm just like asking myself questions out loud right now. But I feel like there must be a way where like you can turn down being a bridesmaid. Or sometimes it's like even inappropriate for a bride to ask you to be a bridesmaid. Or sometimes it's like even inappropriate for a bride to ask you to be a bridesmaid if it doesn't make any sense. I'm trying to think about what else happened at the wedding. There was like a lot of hot guys there, low key. Like I feel like if I wanted to, I probably could have met out with someone

on the dance floor. Also, there was like no adults. Like I didn't see adult in sight. Now that I think about it, it was like everyone was 27. I swear everyone was between the ages of 24 and 30. It was like almost like it like like I'm trying to think now, like obviously there was like the parents were there. But other than that, I feel like there was very limited real adults there.

It was really fun. Like I would go again. I get why people have weddings now. Like I get why people throw the party. Like it was like an open bar, which by the way is my worst enemy because they will always, they will ruin the day because they always conquer me.

I can't like be around an open bar. There was an open buffet. There was like a dessert table. There was cigarettes. I brought those I think, but like, I don't know. But a lot of people were staying. It was at a castle and a lot of people were staying in the rooms of the castle. So a lot of people like just kept like venturing all around. We'd go like to people's rooms and touch up and like, you know, take some shots and yada yada bing bong. And then we'd come back down to the dance

floor. The DJ was really good. But there was definitely some talent at that wedding. There was this one guy that was really cute but you know there was like a lot of pretty girls there obviously it was like all influencers so I don't know. I was also just saying like I feel like everyone right now is getting engaged and married and I was just telling someone that and they're like, just wait, next it's going to be like baby showers. And I said, fuck that. If one of my best friends got pregnant right now,

I would be like mad at them. Is that okay? I would be like, what the fuck? I would be like mourning a death almost because I would be like, we can't go out anymore. Like your life's over. Goodbye. Goodbye to the streets. Like once you have a kid, I feel like

you have to like do kid stuff. Birthday parties. And not the kinds I like to attend. Who's gonna go to gospel with me? Who's gonna go to a little sister with me? You can't bring a baby at a zero bond. Like these are things I think about. I'm also like trying to think now,

like when I get married, cause the day will come, I'm gonna lock down one of these motherfuckers at some point and they're gonna have to deal with me, okay? At least for my first marriage. Cause let's be honest, I'll probably have to. Like, will I be a brideszilla? I try to think about that.

Am I gonna be like that annoying fucking cunt brideszilla? Where I'm gonna be like, I'll probably want most creative control for my own wedding. Because like, men don't have good taste in this shit, and if they do, I don't know if we're batting for the same team, babe. You know? Like weddings are like such like a curated, like acquired like personal touch of personality and style and aesthetic that you all want in one big bunch. Like I know Lauren is already planning our wedding

and she's meeting with venues next week. I'm not even fucking kidding. She's the most type A person. I'm type B, which makes me a little bit nervous. Honestly, Lauren will probably be helping plan my wedding. But honestly, I feel like it depends who you marry. I could get married at Home Depot and probably be happy. Okay, let's do wedding hot takes. The first one is, if you can't afford to pay for your bridal party's dresses, don't make those dresses mandatory. to pay for your bridal parties dresses. Don't make those dresses mandatory.

Yeah, I think I agree with this one. If like you really want a specific dress, I mean, the wedding I was just at, the dress code was black, which I loved, because it's so easy to find a black dress. And it was also like chic. It like was the whole aesthetic. Like the only person wearing a different color was jazz

and everyone else was in black. I feel like for bridesmaids, there should be like a limit to how much you spend if you're making them pay, if that makes any sense. I feel like a color scheme you can choose. You can choose the shade of what dress you want your bridal party to wear, but everyone has different body types too. Not

every dress looks the same on everyone and I feel like people should be shopping for their own body types and not have to like conform to like what the bride wants. Like I feel like if does that make sense? Yeah I feel like that is a bit on the controlling side if you're like dictating what your bridesmaids are wearing. And yeah I also agree I feel like that is a bit on the controlling side. If you're like dictating what your bridesmaids are wearing. And yeah, I also agree. I feel like people should be shopping for themselves and what looks good on their body and not have to all wear the same thing. I feel like everyone's wearing the same thing.

You like kind of look like penguins, you know, like penguins in a row, like little ducks in a line. Like everyone has their own personal style and that's how they should shop for the right. Like, you know, they're paying for it. And if you want them to wear a specific dress, you should be fronting the bill. And that's how they should shop for the right like you know they're paying for it and if you want them to wear specific dress you should be fronting the bill and that's how I feel about it. Okay let's do the next one. Sunday weddings. I don't want to be fucking hungover on a Monday.

People have work. I don't but people do. Other people have work on Mondays. Also there's something about being hungover on a Monday that's just like very dark to me. I feel like Sunday weddings shouldn't be a thing. Saturday weddings are fine. No, Saturday weddings are ideal.

I feel like everyone has weddings on Saturdays. And Friday is like the travel day where people get to the venue or whatever, usually typically. I also am not the biggest fan of people having weddings on holiday weekends. I don't love that, but it usually works out that more people can attend

because they have more time to travel and stuff. So I guess if you are doing a destination wedding, a longer weekend works. But yeah, I would say no for Sunday weddings. Okay, next. The bridesmaid should pay for the bride's portion of the bachelorette trip. I've seen this go both ways where it's like,

the bridesmaid should pay and like the bride shouldn't have to pay that much. I've seen like people do that. But I feel like if you're like picking like Ibiza and you're like making all your bridesmaids like buy their own plane tickets and all that shit and like go out there, you should be at least running like the villa, okay?

Like the stay. Cause you know, I feel like that's a little like out of touch just to be expecting that everyone's in the same budget because we're not you know and you just have to be like a little bit self-aware when it comes to that stuff but then again I've never been married I probably wouldn't make my friends go to Ibiza and if one of my besties couldn't afford to get on a plane and go to Ibiza then I would front their bill or make my husband do it because we're marrying rich out here that's what I front their bill or make my husband do it because we're marrying rich out here

That's what I would do. I would make my husband pay for their the girls. That's what's gonna happen one day I'm gonna be like honey. You're paying for everything. Thank you next one. If you're the maid of honor you have to give a speech I Feel like unfortunately you do although I'm scared too, and I don't want to but like I love my friend scared to and I don't want to but like I love my friend more than it outweighs me being a little scared to give a speech in front of a group of people about love and romance in their story and these are two of my best friends getting married so like I feel like it would be so wrong if I didn't give a speech like I'm gonna give a speech I want to make that very clear like I will be giving a speech but I'm just fucking scared to because then people are like listening to you, and like, it's like from the heart.

Like I know what I talk about like dick and shit, like what if I say the wrong thing in front of like the parents and the grandparents? We all know Memorial Day weekend what happened. That's the couple I'm giving a speech for. So they all know our background story. So, you know, I feel like it depends. No, I feel like it doesn't depend, I feel like it doesn't depend.

I feel like you should give a speech if you're a maid of honor and you're only gonna have to do it once and you should just suck it the fuck up and at the end of the day giving a speech in front of a big crowd of people is a good life skill to have. So you know, you just gotta bite the bullet and take it on the chin. But yeah, I do feel like you have to give a speech. Okay, next one. The groom doesn't have to be involved in the wedding planning if they're about it planning I don't think they should be involved. They should mind their fucking business and just give them like front their credit card

That's how I feel Like what what in what world do men have like anything to do with the wedding? I feel like that's kind of odd to be honest Their only involvement should be passing over their credit card and I'll stand by that. I just think that a wedding, yes it is a celebration of like two people's love, but I feel like it's for the girl at the end of the day.

Like if it were up to the men, I don't even know if they would be, you know, willingly spending that much money on a party. Unless maybe they will, maybe they wanna do that, maybe that's sweet. But I feel like if it means more to the bride, the bride should have more say in what goes on. And I feel like, you know, women just pay attention

more to detail than men do sometimes. It's all in the details. So yeah, I feel like men should just kinda like, you know, have light opinions, but like kinda keep their hands off of it at the end of the day. If you have a gluten-free guest, so your cake should be gluten-free, fuck no.

Nine times out of 10, that's their choice. They can bring their own fucking gluten-free cake from Stop and Shop, I don't give a fuck. But like, I'm not like, what? You can't please everyone all the time, okay? And you're probably gonna have more non-gluten-free guests than gluten-free guests. So please the majority of the time, okay? And you're probably gonna have more non gluten free guests than gluten free guests. So please the majority of the people and not like unless someone has like a severe allergy, maybe get like a baby cake on the side. But you know, at the end of the day, you can't please

everyone. Like everyone's gonna have some sort of like dietary restriction. It's 2025. That's seems to be like the way it goes. Okay, kids at weddings. This is like, I don't know. This is a toss up to me because you know, you need the flower girls. Although I think I decided I'm gonna have a flower guy. I just want Graydon to like walk down the aisle and just like throw fucking petals at people's heads

and like be like downing nips and stuff and just like ripping it and strutting down the aisle. I think for my wedding I would only have kids there if it was like they're related to me like cousins or if my siblings had kids like obviously they can come but I feel like for the welcome party absolutely not there should be a 21 and up situation but for the actual wedding day I feel like you could have kids. Babies?

I don't know. You don't want a fucking baby crying. Like, if you're going to bring a baby, that's your responsibility. And if they start crying during the ceremony, I feel like you should at least be aware of like the nearest exit to handle that. So if you're bringing kids, that's your responsibility. And like make sure like your guest knows to like be handling and surveillancing the situation. I've been a kid at a wedding though and I feel like I was fine but honestly weddings are only fun if you can

like get fucked up. Unless you're putting rum into their like little pacifier in their baby bottle. But like at the end of the day like weddings are fun because it's like everyone's getting drunk and like celebrating love. Like kids won't get that. Okay next. Cash gifts are better than physical gifts. I feel like kind of yeah. I've heard like a lot people just wanting money. Weddings are fucking expensive. I feel like it's also easier just to write a check. No one wants like a new bowl from Williams- Sonoma. You know, unless there's like a, what are they called? Gift registries? Yeah.

I mean, I would just be like, write me a fucking check. Cut me a check. So you can like make some money back from the wedding. I mean, I don't really need gifts. I'm trying to think about my own wedding, my hypothetical wedding. I don't know. I guess it depends on like the specific wedding, but I think cash gifts are better

and they're easier and more convenient. You can just hit the Zell, hit the Vemmo. It's like, you know, less hassle, less thinking. When is it acceptable to ask to bring someone as a wedding date? You know, that's a good question. I feel like it really depends on you know the bride or like whoever's wedding. Like sometimes people are really weird about plus ones.

Sometimes they offer them but like that's another plate of food like people off the front. That's like another cost and you don't want like to like add an extra expense on a fucking random dick that you just slanged last weekend. You know? Like if I was talking about the guy for like probably three plus months, I would want to bring him to a wedding. Like I feel like that's fun. Like in flirty and like would like maybe convince, I don't know. I feel like it could be kind of fun to like bring a situationship as a wedding guest, but then it could get confusing afterwards,

because weddings are really, you're surrounded by so much love and romance. Do you really wanna bring a situationship there unless you're trying to trick them into wanting to date you? That would be the way to do it, honestly. But I feel like it depends on like the bride's tolerance or a plus one. I don't think I even had a plus one at the wedding I was supposed to go to last year. I think they gave me the option but like I'm not gonna

bring like Joe Schmell I fucked last week. That would just be weird and then I have to deal with his bitch ass all night. I'm not doing that. Then I'm babysitting at the end of the day. I don't want to babysit a man when I could be running around a wedding with my favorite gays that's what I was doing me and Brian were just like the drunkest bitches at the party just like running around taking shots drinking wine ripping up the floor it was so much fun I couldn't do that if I had to deal with the fucking man in the corner anyways that's my take on that. Let's go into the next segment.

["Dreams of a New World"] Okay, next let's go through like you guys DM me all the time. Like I said, always feel free to DM me. I screenshot them, send them to my producer. We have a little giggle because you guys are fucking insane. But let's go through a few of these and I'm reading these raw dogging them I haven't read through them in depth yet so I will give my honest and true opinions on these and see like what kind of input I can give. The first one is Hallie I need your help, Anon please. I've been seeing this guy for a while and

everything is great but when we were first hooking up he told me he isn't able to come because of the medication he takes, assuming it's antidepressants. He's still able to get and stay hard and the sex is great. He reassured me that I'm good in bed and that it's just medication, but that he still enjoys the act of it. But how do I A, not feel self-conscious that I can't make him come because I have a need to please people? real and B how do I end sex that making him feel bad and awkward because he'll pound me for like 20 minutes

Which just isn't it for me. No one likes the fucking bunny rabbit treatment, babe. I get it This is a tricky one because I'm sure this guy is into you and this is something he has to like deal with in every situation. I mean it fucking sucks if anyone's on like Prozac, Zoloft, any antidepressant. Yes, you need it for your mental health but it does affect other bodily functions. I've been on Zoloft before and usually I have the easiest time finishing but I remember when I was on that medication, it was extremely hard to finish, which can be not only frustrating for like, you know, the person who can't finish, but it's also frustrating for the other party involved.

And I'm sure he's super self-conscious about not being able to finish. And I bet you're super self-conscious about like, you know, not being able to finish. And I bet you're super self-conscious about like, you know, not being able to like make him finish. I'm the same way. Like I personally love and enjoy like sucking a guy off until completion. And if I can't do that, like I knew when I was actually them to be honest,

cause that's like kind of my thing. And if a guy can't finish for me, like what are we doing here? It's like I get off so them getting off and if they't get off like, like that's like half, you know, half the climb here. But then again, this is a medical issue and I'm not, you know, slandering medical issues. We all have, you know, I probably should hop on antidepressants at the end of the day too. So like I feel for our boy here. But you shouldn't have, you shouldn't feel self-conscious about this now. And I also feel like you shouldn't,

it could be selfish to say, but like I feel like you shouldn't have to tolerate that if you don't want to. Maybe it's not the right guy in the right time. I mean, maybe he won't be on antidepressants forever. Is that bad to say? But like getting pounded from the back for 20 minutes straight,

I'd rather read. And I don't like reading. I would literally rather fucking read a book. I'd rather read like a book. That sounds horrible. That's some frap boy fucking. I don't like I don't like that shit. But if he's a nice guy, I mean, maybe it'll change,

but like probably not. And you got to take things at face value. And I mean, have you suggested maybe he goes down on you or like get really good with his hands Because there's no reason yeah, maybe he can't finish but there's no reason He should be pounding you from behind for 20 minutes Just so like that's selfish on his part because we all know doggy style is a finishing move It's like a finisher like that's how guys finish which is why he's trying to like get himself to finish. He's being selfish.

It's making your sexual experience worse for it. So if he's gonna wanna choose that position for like an allotted amount of time, he should at least be like making you finish before he resorts to that. I would take control of the situation and be like, listen, buddy, listen, buckaroo. I know you can't finish,

but like go down on me for like 20 minutes if you're gonna pound me from the back for 20 minutes or like whip out a vibrator. Don't even tell him. Be like, listen, I'm finishing and I'm not fucking leaving until I do. Stay in business, stay on these bitches next, what? You should be finishing every time

whether he has any involvement in it or not. He might just be a beating heart near you at that point, a warm body right next to you and to sweep out your favorite vibrator and look at him in admiration and pretend like he's doing it. But like take charge and communicate. I always say communicate, communicate, communicate. Like you can't read your mind either. Like a lot of these guys don't know what the fuck they're doing. He could be like really wanting to please you too. Have you ever thought of that?

Like maybe he like really wants you to finish but like doesn't have the tools or doesn't know how. Clearly he doesn't know what he's doing if he's pounding from behind for 20 minutes. I'm gonna say that one more time. Just tell him what you like or at least like push him in the direction. Steer him in the right direction.

But I always say like in this situation we're like you're not finishing he's not finishing without a vibration did she say she's not if she's getting pounded I just know she's not finishing if that's the position they're choosing yeah yeah I just know she's not finishing. I'm assuming under the assumption if you guys are just doing doggy that you're not finishing, but maybe you are. I'm also a people pleaser. Like I want, I get gratification out of like seeing someone else finish. But if he can't finish and he's telling you it's because of his antidepressants and that

really bothers you and makes you feel insecure. Choose yourself, always choose yourself first. You don't wanna feel insecure when you're having sex with someone, that's the worst. Ever. And like, you know, maybe just like, part ways. Okay, next one. Hey Hallie, need your extra dirty advice.

In the past month, three of my sneaky links have asked me to make a sex tape with them, which is kind of baffling. Men love fucking sex tape. These fucking weird freaks. I have crazy amazing sex with each and one of them. Girl fuck you. With each and one of them. So I would honestly be down, but at the same time I'm a bit hesitant because I've only ever been filmed sex

with my long-term high school boyfriend. Never with a casual fuck. Is this a normal thing that people do? Have you ever made a sex take with a casual hookup? Oh my God, I've made sex takes with everyone. It's actually a problem and a king of mine. Like every casual hookup I've ever had, I'm like whip out the camera.

I do have a podcast, like whenever a camera is out, I feel like I perform. I kind of look at sex tapes the same way. It's like almost like I'm on a stage. And I just like love the idea because like these are going to the spank bank. Like these videos are going straight to the spank bank. And there's just something, a thought of a guy,

like, you know, like jerking off or whatever to like a sex tape of you like sucking them off or whatever that just makes, brings me gratification. But that is me. And I feel like I'm probably not in the majority there. I feel like people are very hesitant even with their boyfriends to make sex tapes because these iClouds get hacked all the fucking time.

To me, I think it's hot. Like I think it's so hot to make a sex tape and then watch it back. Like, you know how like sports players, they have like film and then like film meetings after? That's how I treat sex tapes with my casual hookups. While the sex tape will get all the angles, you know, maybe get a light in

there and like I never plan them but like after a fucking tequila's tequila's Blanco I want to be filmed I also like want to see what I look like from like a camera perspective I think it's like fun maybe I'm just like a narcissist and I just want to see myself is that a a thing? I don't know. But I would recommend vetting the guy out because you know hindsight's always 20-20. There's a couple of these guys that have blessed in my past that I should have absolutely not have blessed them with the beautiful image of me getting back shots from behind and me sucking them sideways into fruition. I shouldn't have done that. But would I do it again, absolutely. I would do it again. And yeah, I would just have fun with

it. I wouldn't plan it. Like that's crazy to me. I wouldn't like be texting a guy and be like, I think on Saturday the 14th, we should film a sex tape. Bring out cameras, lighting, get your tripod's ready. Production, X, Y, and Z, we'll have a rider. What snacks should we have in the room? What kind of dim do you want the mood lightings on? And what music do you want playing in the background? No, I think it should be on a whim. Like, this is how I do it.

I'll be like fooling around with a guy in my bed and then I'll just like, oh my God, film me. This is so fun. That's so hot. And they'll always be like, yep. I mean, just be careful because these videos do get around. Trust me, don't Google fun. That's so hot. And they'll always be, yep. I mean, just be careful, because these videos do get around. Trust me, don't Google me.

But like these videos do get around, especially if you're in college, or if you're in high school. Men love trophies, you know? They're gonna be like, look what I have with this fucking Becky ass bitch. You just wanna be careful about that. And you gotta like, think about that

and decide what you're okay with. Because I think when guys, you know, I like to think that I'm an adult and the men I'm getting with are old enough where they're not like showing every guy, but like sometimes I'm like, I wish they would show their friends the amazing work that I've put into them. But then some like, some of these friends

have already gotten with and they already know. I don't know anyways, but I would just be careful. I think it can go both ways. I would say do it. It's fun. It's hot. But at the end of the day, just like be careful. If his name is like Chad, Brad or Thaddeus, and he plays like on the lacrosse team or the hockey team, be careful about making a sex tape with him.

I would say that. Hey, Holly. I just discovered your podcast and I love it. But I wanted to text you because I'm 19 years old and still have not gotten my first kiss or anything and I feel honestly stressed about it because I feel so inexperienced compared to everyone. Your podcast is definitely way too advanced for my level, but I absolutely love every episode. Please let me know if you have any tips about first kisses first everythings and what your experience was for all the firsts This is so sweet and wholesome Honestly, I love you and I love that you're listening and yes a lot of the shit that comes out of my mouth and goes into It honestly is fucking insane. But you know, we've all had our firsts

I don't think a first at 15 is different from a first at 21, really. We all get those butterflies, we all get nervous. We all get nervous to like lean in, like am I gonna be a good kisser, like all this shit. My first kiss was when I was 12 years old, which is so young. And it was with my neighbor on Nantucket and it was on like the tennis courts

in our little like gated clubhouse community of Nantucket and it was on like the tennis courts in our little like gated clubhouse community of Nantucket, Massachusetts. It was honestly romantic as fuck. I remember earlier that day I was like planning out this kiss with this guy. I was kind of a slut at 12 honestly and all I think about it. But like a thing we used to do in Nantucket is we'd go to the candy store, force five shout out and we'd just like you know get a bag of candy like we were young kids like that's what we do and I remember I went to force five in

town that one day I went to the candy shop and there was pop rocks on the shelf and I go oh my god like I need my first kiss to be at pop rocks like that's sick so my first kiss was with pop rocks in my mouth it was insane and I was like insane for it but honestly kind of a savage first kiss move was I nervous apps fucking Lutely You don't know what you're good at at like when you're like doing any firsts but I would say a First kiss don't I feel like don't think too much into it, you know I don't think it matters what age you're at

having a first kiss. They're all just like, like just have fun with it. Be flirty. Don't force it. Let the mood be right. Make sure it's in a setting where you feel comfortable and safe. If you're like over analyzing your first kiss, maybe consider who your first kiss is with. Make sure you feel safe with that person. But if you want it to be like more casual thing, just like don't think too much about it. It's not that deep at the end of the day, unless you want it to be if you want to have a meaningful

first kiss. But I would say I wouldn't even have that perspective. I would say have loose like loose expectations for a first kiss. If you set the bar too high, you're going gonna suck yourself out and maybe even be disappointed. But just have fun with it, you know? But I don't think it's terrible that you haven't had a first kiss yet. Honestly, that's kind of sweet.

My first time I lost, and I wanna, like now that we're talking about first, I wanna talk about like my first, like time I lost my virginity. I've told this story But I was 14 Like at 14 or 15 and it was in the basement of my parents house and they were like upstairs Like it was kind of like crazy that I did Shut up bitch. I haven't heard from Suri in like years

Yeah, she's really quiet no No sir, you fell off. Her engagement's low. So, it was both our firsts. Well, he said he had hooked up with someone before, but I think he was lying to me. He was like two years older than me, and it was definitely our firsts. And I really wanted to like fuck. I remember like really... Mentally, I was like, I'm ready to have sex. Like, I'm ready for it I've always kind of been like a sexual person even at the age of fucking 1450

and I feel like I was ready to fucking go but I was nervous because I remember the first time I gave head I wasn't good at it and he told me he was like you're really bad at this because I was overthinking it. I was over analyzing sucking dick until one day I was like, wait, sucking dick is the equivalent to like going to like, it's like pottery. It's like a craft. Like what shape am I gonna make today? It's like a skill.

It's like poetry with your mouth, you know? Like every time is different almost. I feel like the last I like started over analyzing it and like thinking about rules in my head about sex, kissing, you know, giving head, the better at it I was. Like the more like loose with it I was and more like free spirited I was with it.

But the first time I had sex, sorry, get back to that, I went on a tangent. He was so nervous and he put the condom on in the bathroom because he didn't want to do it in front of me. And he was in the bathroom of the basement for like 30 minutes. Honestly, part of me thinks he probably like jerked off or something, I don't even know.

Like it was, but I remember like the first, he was the first guy I ever fucked or did anything with really. Like the first guy I ever fucked or did anything with really. Like the first guy I went past second base was with him. It was all within a month. So we like, me getting fingered, me like sucking dick, giving a hand job in sex, all happened within four weeks. Which was crazy to me. But also I was thinking, get this shit over with and you start practicing. And this guy had a big dick. So I was like, it was like after him, I was like, Oh, everyone else's dick is small. But I remember it hurt so much the first time and no one loses their virginity.

And it's fucking epic. I can say, I don't believe in that. And I feel like that's a bunch of like bullshit. I think it's very awkward and like uncomfortable. And I remember it being like kind of choppy. You know, like choppy waters no one finished maybe he did he probably did like I don't I don't think I finished from sex until I figured out like how to ride once you figure out how to like be on top you don't need to know anything else once

you like can figure out how to finish on top or how to introduce a vibrator into sex, I feel like you're fine. Let's get into some other first, now that we're on this topic, and production wrote these down. So this guy also, the guy I lost my virginity to, he was super, super paranoid about getting me pregnant, which I feel like everyone should be.

Like in high school, wear a condom and We wore a condom every single time not necessarily because he was worried about STDs because obviously I wasn't fucking anyone else when I was 15 But it was more so like he was he thought any Raw penis going inside of me. Oh baby made the amount of times I took Plan B unwarrantedly Even if the condom would like loosely break, he would be like, Plan B now. I'm like, but I don't want to. It's expensive.

Okay. So I remember I had a pregnancy scare. It wasn't a pregnancy scare. I was on birth control and I was really bad at taking it. So I'd spot a lot in my period to be like, sometimes I would load up. If I was getting my period, but I was gonna see at taking it. So I'd spot a lot in my period to be like, sometimes I would load up. If I was getting my period, but I was gonna see my boyfriend that weekend,

I would take like nine of my pills. I would literally OD on birth control to push it off to Monday. And so I remember like it really fucked up my period once and he thought I was pregnant and it was like a whole thing and he was like crying, it was like a whole fucking thing. But I know I wasn't pregnant. First drink of alcohol, also a Nantucket. I remember it was like a whole thing and he was like crying. It was like a whole fucking thing. But I know I wasn't pregnant. First drink of alcohol, also a Nantucket.

I remember it was like the summer where like everyone started drinking and like we'd get in the woods and like just like for some reason we thought like the only way we could get away with drinking would be like in the woods. I'm like, why are we always in the woods? I feel like that's a universal experience though. Like drinking in high school,

like why am I in the fucking woods? I was like 14 though when I had my first drink of alcohol and I also was like trying to get away with it. So I'd go into my parents liquor cabinet, steal every clear liquid of alcohol and then put it in a water bottle and then I would go out and I'm good like take two shots of whatever concoction I made and then come home and just lie on my back and just have the fucking spins. But I didn't get too fucked up the first time I ever drank. I remember being really scary and I thought it was so cool.

I was like the first one to ever drink at my friend group. I was the youngest, but I also went to the, like an all girls Catholic school. So people like were a lot more buttoned up. Also my older sister was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to like the social scene in middle school and high school. She didn't start drinking until like 17, 18. So like I was like my parents first experience with like a kid that was getting fucked up. They grounded me for nine months and sent me to karate as my punishment when I got alcohol

poisoning because I did get alcohol poisoning before Sweet 16 one time. It was traumatic for everyone, but it was kind of iconic. First time clubbing. I mean, I wouldn't consider the chicken box really clubbing. It's like the like big dive bar in Nantucket. All my fucking alcohol related experiences were on Nantucket. Cause the weather is warm.

You want to have all a sip of alcohol. Or Aruba. I think the drinking age in Aruba, where've time-trapped that like it's like the age is 12 where you can start drinking there But it was definitely either like chicken box when I was 15 and when I'd like sneak into the chicken box But like my first real club was probably marquee in New York City Which is a Canada event for every New York bitch first STI scare I mean I've gotten chlamydia once.

And honestly it was rude. This older gentleman gave me chlamydia. He wasn't even that old, he was like 36. He gave me chlamydia and I would be like, Oh my god, he gave me chlamydia! And I would tell him, I'm like, Oh my god, you gave me fucking chlamydia? And he's like, Oh my god, I only get my favorite girls chlamydia.

I was like, You're a fucking asshole, but I fell for it. My first threesome was was in college with my roommate. And I think I've told this story where it was on Nantucket. It was also on Nantucket, it was the 4th of July. And it was the first time a guy had showed like sexual interest in me after my breakup with my ex-boyfriend.

And I was scared to have sex with someone else alone. So I was like, Margot, like you think this guy's hot? She's like, yeah. I was like, wait, let's just have a threesome with him. So we had a threesome with him. We blasted his life. He was so excited. I remember like he didn't even have his clothes on yet

and he was like calling all of his friends. I think he called his like dad even. He was like, guess what just happened? He's like running out of there. It was really funny. But yeah, that was my first threesome. First sex toy was a massive fucking dildo, I think. I was crazy though. My first sex toy, I remember I would shop for them in bunches. I have every sex toy in the book probably at this point. A lot of brands gift me them too but the first one I bought myself and I feel bad because I bought it on my mom's credit card but like whatever. I was

probably 15 it was when I was like watching massage room porn and I was like you know what I need a vibrator because my hand like can't do what it's supposed to do like that's when I realized like what vibrators were is when like I couldn't like use my I was getting like carpal tunnel my fucking wrists were about to break off. But it was probably just like one of those like wands or a dildo. I think I got them both together. First time experimenting with a kink, probably in college again.

I was tied up to a bed with like this under, there was like restraints on like both my arms and legs. I feel like all my kinks came in one big batch though like slap spitting choking like I really liked choking for a while like until I was literally blue in the face. I loved getting choked out but now it's kind of annoys me I don't know light choking's fine but I don't want to like pass out that's insane. First time finding porn on the desktop in the kitchen. I remember I saw like a 50 cent music video and I was like, Oh my

God, and the club and I like felt like things like butterflies. Yeah, that was my first. Let's go for one more DM. Halle, this Memorial Day weekend, my friend wanted to bring me on a double date with her man she's been seeing recently. Who's French Canadian. He's super loaded. Love that drives a Rolls Royce truck, sick property near the beach in Fort Lauderdale. More of the very long story ends up taking forever to respond, but we had planned to come to his house at nine and we ended up showing face at 11 p.m.

We walk in on these three men, circle jerking each other the fuck off while these three Russian escorts watch them doing so in the hot tub. Yeah, insane thought would I thought you get a kick out of the story. I would get a kick out of the story. I think I responded to this girl and I never reply to these. I would just screenshot and send it to you. I replied this girl's like this is iconic. And you are iconic. I don't know why my jaw would be detached from my body if I walked into men fucking jerking each other off.

That's a kind of humiliation ritual, right? But also kind of gay. I have so many questions, okay? Did these Russian escorts force them to do it? Why are they there? Do they need the Russian escorts there to do this? I mean, if you're a man jerking any man off, you're a little gay.

Even if there's a gun to your head. I don't know. Also, like, why are there escorts there if this is someone's boyfriend? And you're supposed to be going on a double date. They're gay, babe. This is insane. This is like one of the most insane DMs I've ever gotten. So you showed up two hours late, so they're like, okay, this is what we're gonna do. Call the escorts and have the escorts just like stand by while we jerk each other off.

I would run in the other direction, babe. But yeah, that would turn me off, I think. I don't think I would like that. Do you guys do that? Like when girls aren't in the room, when their girlfriends aren't there, they just like jerk each other off. That's what Graydon thinks.

He thinks everyone's always just jerking each other off and that all men are gay, on the spectrum, gay. That's what like guys think girls do at sleepovers is jerk each other off. That doesn't men are gay. On the spectrum, gay. That's what like guys think girls do at sleepovers is jerk each other off. That doesn't happen, we don't have pillow fights. I mean, I get really cuddly and touchy with my friends, but like, no, I don't finger blast them into fruition. We don't have fingering circles.

That would be crazy. Imagine if we had a pie off and we're all just like fucking fingering each other's pies in a circle with male escorts around. No, that's not a thing. But anyways, these are crazy. Please send me more DMs like this. Like please, the more DMs the better.

I will always read them. And do I know, I'm always a woman of my word. But anyways, let's close out the episode there. As always, you guys can watch me on YouTube, listen to me on any other platform, like, comment, subscribe, all the beautiful good things. As always, I fucking love you guys.

You're a bunch of little weird freaks in the best way possible. And I'll see you next week. Bye. Besos miami.