Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - The threesome rule book & should you cheat back?

Episode Date: March 13, 2025

It's an Extra Dirty Throwback Thursday this week as Hallie recounts how she found out her college boyfriend was cheating, how she got her revenge, and how the aftermath of that event manifested in her relationships. Then Hallie unpacks YOUR submissions of whether you're being the asshole - including being uncomfortable after bringing in a third person, not communicating plans to end a relationship, dealing with a partner with low self-esteem and navigating a hand-me-down engagement ring. And of course some life updates: Hallie’s family is in town, her mom is offended at her lack of replying, and NYC nightlife burnout is hitting hard. And to top it off Hallie spills on her recent 8am hookup.... because why not! It's Extra Fun! Follow @extradirty on socials to follow along with Hallie and if you love what you hear, leave a review and subscribe to keep the chaos coming. Love you freak!!

He would literally like pick out girls and be like, wait, we should have a threesome with her, we should have a threesome with her. And I'd be like, wait, what the actual fuck? Am I not good enough? We're happy when I'm talking. Okay guys, I'm putting something really fucking stupid right now.

We have an emergency debris situation. Hi, this is Halle from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay guys, welcome back to Extra Dirty. Happy Thursday. How is everyone doing? I thought it'd be fun today to start out this episode with like a little throwback Thursday moment like a little like let's go back into time.

Let's strap up Let's tell a little story and let's get cozy and just like enjoy this crazy little Cheating story how I found out my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me as I was going into college I've talked about this a little bit before I never think it's smart to enter college in a relationship And that's mainly because of this story this experience how I found out this guy was cheating on me, my boyfriend of two years, blah blah blah blah. Anyways, it was week one of my freshman year of college. I was so excited but a little bit nervous.

It was also my first time at a co-ed school since I was eight years old, so I didn't know how I was going to be able like go to class with other guys. I was such a good girl coming like fresh out of Catholic school, didn't know what to expect and was really excited though you know but I had a boyfriend at the time and he was you know we had run into some things prior like he and I were kind of on the rocks. I think he wanted to dump me, honestly, and I wouldn't let him. I think that was the biggest point takeaway. I think that I was just like,

I wouldn't let go of this man. Mainly because I feel like boyfriends, especially when you're going into new territory, I don't like the fear of the unknown. So I feel like going into college with someone that like you're familiar with, someone that you can talk to. I had no friends really that I knew at this school.

I knew a couple of other girls that might be potential friends, but no one that was a certain lock. So it's nice to have someone that you can text and call, kind of have a safe spot at home, like a little piece of home with you when you're navigating these new areas. Anyways, it was fucking syllabus week and I hadn't even opened a fucking textbook yet like this is where

the sus behavior began on his end. He went to a school that was probably five hours from me and same time zone same everything so we were on the same like going out schedule pretty much. He played a sport there which I thought would be a safe bet like I feel like they like have like workouts planned and they have you know obligations and shit like I went in as a NARP like a non-athletic regular person so I kind of like like I had free range to do over the fuck I wanted and he was kind of on a schedule so I thought that was a safe bet but like in hindsight, you know, hindsight's always 20-20. I feel like a man on a sports team in college is probably like

the least safe bet ever. That brings a lot of attention from girls, understandably. But I was naive and I was optimistic. I believed in loyalty at the time and felt like men could do no harm at that point. All these schools we went to were like basically feeder schools from the private school area that I was from from Boston. So like Boston's very small. So people that went to private schools in the surrounding area kind of all went to the same kind of colleges in other surrounding areas. So everyone kind of there was like not six degrees of separation, there was like two degrees of separation. So I kind of knew people that went to a school,

he kind of knew people that went to my school. So like, I felt like that was an extra layer of safety that I had in my back pocket. But no, it was just how the message got relayed to me even quicker. So we went out, it was a Saturday night, I think it was the first fucking Saturday night of the year. I was being such a good girl,

wouldn't even make eye contact with any man. I was a Saint because I was like such a loyal bitch back then any red flag this man would serve me in my direction I would just like look the other way and just like See the best in him which was in like not the best idea like never see the best in any man because They'll always prove you wrong. So this man he went out it was a Saturday night he went ghost on me really quickly if he goes ghost on you that's a red flag right off the bat like it's a little sketchy I was okay maybe it's

just like making friends it is the first week like whatever. Anyways I get a text at like 4am after the cheating had happened and he never sent me a good night text which I felt like was really fucking suspect. I was like, okay, this man better fucking wish me a good night text. We were big texters back then. I feel like when you're 16, 17, 18, like everyone's like, you're texting.

Like you don't, I don't believe like, you know, as someone who's almost 28, nearly 30, whatever, check-ins are fine but like back then, like you're texting me every hour on the hour and I need to know like what your outfit looks like, who's almost 28, nearly 30, whatever. Check-ins are fine, but back then, you're texting me every hour on the hour, and I need to know what your outfit looks like, like X, Y, and Z. Anyways, he had cheated on me with this girl,

who coincidentally was in the same room when I gave him his first blowjob, which coincidentally I found out later. Anyways, this girl went to middle school with my best friend's sister. And within two hours, the girl was like, oh my god, guess who I hooked up with? That text got sent to my best friend's sister. And then the sister texted the sister.

And then I got the text by the morning. By the time I opened my eyes, the first fucking text I see on my phone is, this man had betrayed me. And I was like, holy fucking shit. my eyes the first fucking text I see on my phone is this man had betrayed me and I was like holy fucking shit and I like texted him obviously and I said you need to call me you need to call me right now because if you talk on the phone he has less time to come up with like a very well thought-out text which was an issue we had run into prior he calls me up had his tail between, I could tell by his tone, he knew exactly what I was gonna ask him and I said listen did you cheat

on me and he like admitted it right off the bat. He was like there's no way. I think it was like his out. He was like you know what yeah I actually did cheat on you and I would do it again. I was like fuck. He felt bad but I was like I could tell that he wanted out of the relationship and I feel like, fuck. He felt bad, but I was like, I could tell that he wanted out of the relationship. And I feel like that was his only way at that point because my claws were just delved in. I would not let go of this relationship. I needed it.

I felt like I needed it to get me through at least the first trimester of college. Anyways, after that, he did the whole, he barely apologized. Like he knew at that point, he knew me so well, like he knew I was gonna come back. He knew I was going to probably forgive him and deal with it. However, I was fucking pissed. And again, may I remind you, this is the first time I was at college with other guys there. So I went out pissed that same night, probably had a few too many tequilas, and I made out with this senior. I was a freshman obviously. I made

out with this senior who was like really flirty, fun, and cool. Didn't sleep with him like he did with the other girl, like my ex did with the other girl. I just made out with him. I felt so guilty and before I even went to bed that night, after I made out with a fucking senior, I texted my ex and was like I made out with him, I felt so guilty, and before I even went to bed that night, after I made out with a fucking senior, I texted my ex and was like, I made out with a guy. Just like, get at him. And he used this, he goes, you cheated on me. I was like, wait, no, I vindictively cheated on you back,

but like, this doesn't count, I just fucking basically had a fancy ass handshake with my tongue with this man. I did not cheat on you, I didn't fuck anyone. There was no penetration There was no sucky McGee. There was no none of that. So after that he goes, okay, we're done Like we're breaking up he broke up with me after fucking kiss after I basically said, you know What maybe we'll figure it out after you fuck this random bitch And that was the first time I heard of him fucking some random ass girl

Anyways, we continue to talk, you know, we did the whole like little ex boyfriend game where like we'd check in and then we'd go through phases where like we like we're really into each other and then we go through phases where we like weren't so into each other we were like fighting a lot like fighting was entertaining and interesting because I felt like there was no guys I was really interested like you always want to compare to like the guys you're meeting especially your first year out into college you're always comparing it to that safe first big relationship that you had in high school and nothing compared like I was like oh like I can't finish with these other

random guys like I don't feel like that like I don't feel safe with these new men like like I can't like be myself in front of these other guys you always revert back to the ex that you feel comfortable with. So I found myself visiting him at college. I found myself continuing to see him. And I remember the first time I visited him up at his college, I saw the girl that he cheated on me with. And she kind of gave me a look.

And then he kind of gave me a look. And I fucking backhanded him in front of like all of his like little friends. And everyone was like audibly gasped and I was like, I probably shouldn't have done. Violence is not the answer, but he did wrong me. But anyways, I feel like after that first experience getting cheated on and getting like really just embarrassed and humiliated and just feeling so disrespected by a man. I feel like that's where I kind of turned into like an evil little you know ho my freshman year. I was just bouncing around from man to man trying to like fill a void figuratively and literally and um

I feel like it kind of turned me into like a little bit of an asshole. But you know what? It built character, it built lore. Speaking of assholes, I wanted to go through a couple of your guys's am I the asshole submissions. Okay, so let's get into this little segment. Am I the asshole? These are your guys's submissions and we're gonna read through them.

And let's like, let's make myself feel a little bit better here and see when you guys were the asshole instead of just me being a big one. Um okay let's go to the first one. My boyfriend and I had been discussing a threesome and while he was against involving another man I was open to another woman. I set boundaries, no kissing, and he had to use a condom. One night after drinks, I met a girl who seemed perfect. She was a lesbian and interested in me. I introduced her to my boyfriend and we all agreed to go for it. Things escalated in the bathroom, wow, things escalated in the bathroom, but I felt uneasy when he

kissed her and didn't have a condom. I went along with it since he was enjoying it, but as it progressed, I grew increasingly uncomfortable watching him with her. He finished in me, we kissed her goodbye, and I felt distant the rest of the night. Later he asked for her number to do it again, but I admitted I felt uncomfortable. He accused me of ruining the experience out of jealousy saying it was stupid since she wasn't even into him. Now I regret it ever happening. Am I wrong for feeling this way? This guy seems like a complete asshole in my opinion. Like you set clear boundaries, the no kissing and he had to use a condom. It's an interesting factor that she's a lesbian so she probably has wants nothing to do with him anyways but that she shouldn't be kissing him if that's the case. You know I feel like he's in the wrong

because he I mean he ignored every single boundary set and if you're gonna have a threesome boundaries are so important. You know I've had a couple of my day we've spoken about this before know, I've had a couple in my day, we've spoken about this before, and, but I've never had one with a boyfriend. I feel like this is a big differential because I've always done them like, with a situationship and like another person

and a lot of like tequila was involved. But of, and like, you know, with the situationship, obviously we had discussed it a little bit but like I honestly didn't give as much of a fuck. There's a difference between that and then being in a relationship and maybe feeling like that spark is like you know kind of dimming. You want to like add something to your relationship to give it a little bit of spice. I feel like there's a massive gap between the two.

For boundaries I mean let me talk about like a little bit the boundaries me and the situationship talked about. I mean, like, he really wanted a fucking three-way. This man, I've talked about him before, this man was fucking obsessed with like three ways and cream pies and I was okay with giving him one of them but like I was a little like about giving him the other thing because I felt like if I just gave this man everything he wanted then I would feel like absolutely completely powerless. This man wanted a threesome so bad he was like I've talked about this before he would put it on the surround sound speaker in his house like porn so it

sounded like 30 people were in the room and we're having one massive orgy. This man was obsessed with threesomes. He talked to me a little bit about boundaries that would go into having a threesome because we'd literally go out, we'd go out in Miami and have like a night and he would literally like pick out girls and be like, wait, we should have a threesome with her, we should have a threesome with her and I'd be like, wait, what the actual fuck? Am I not good enough? That was kind of the questions I would be asking myself. But the boundaries he laid out for me essentially were like no kissing between them two. You know, he would have to finish in me and not her.

The third person would not have either of our numbers saved. You couldn't follow them on Instagram. They couldn't follow you back on Instagram. Like nothing like that. There would be like no contact. It would be a one-time thing. It would not be a recurring event because then that just turns into like a threeple. There was like one thing about like eye contact that I found to be very interesting like he couldn't have like eye contact with her or something.

Yeah, like no fuck me eyes were allowed and also like 70% of it would have to like be me and the other girl. It couldn't be like a 50-50 split up like you know like I would have to like be me and the other girl it couldn't be like a 50-50 split of like you know like I would have to get the most attention from the guy and then like me and the girl would have to have the most attention on each other and then he could finish whenever he finished but it would have to be in me those were the rules I believe if I'm missing anything I'm sure he will text me about it but I do think the only thing wrong here

There's a couple things that kind of gave me a red fly with this submission The first being and I don't think this person was like super comfortable with adding a third person It seemed like kind of like a last measure stretch to add a little bit of spice and intimacy in the relationship And if you think a threesome is gonna solve your problems You're completely wrong. I feel like threesomes are for people that are extremely open-minded and like enter a relationship already being down to have a threesome. I also don't think that the third person necessarily has to be a lesbian you know? I mean unless that's a rule you have I mean that's that wasn't

one of my rules. I don't think it was. I mean like that's a rule you have I mean that's that wasn't one of my rules I don't think it was I mean like a little by curious maybe but like straight-up lesbian I don't know about that but you know to each their own the third also being that you wanted to have another guy and like a threesome and like he completely shut that down but you're willing to work with him on the other girl being in the threesome so I feel like if you're willing to work with him he should be willing to work with you on the other girl being in the threesome. So I feel like if you're willing to work with him, he should be willing to work with you. You know, I've done both.

Like two guys is a little overwhelming. So I don't think you're really missing much, but you know, I don't know, he kind of seems like a dick. That was the main like premise of all I got from this is that he doesn't respect your boundaries and he's kind of a dick and he just like wants more pussy. That sounds like what this guy is like and he sounds like he should be dumped I mean you tried it it didn't go well he didn't respect like the you gave him

like two things and he disrespected both of them the biggest thing I'm taking away this is that you set boundaries and he did not respect that and now it's a respect issue and now I feel like you need to get out of the relationship because he clearly doesn't respect, you know, your input and your opinions on like big matters. A lot of people probably, when you think of threesome, it's like, okay, I don't wanna share my man with another girl.

You can either see it like as yes, from the jealous standpoint, or you could be like, oh, that's hot. You know, like it depends on your mindset or whatever in like how secure you are in your relationship with your man but also are you the jealous type like a lot of people don't know this about me but like I am the jealous type every threesome I've had has been not with someone I'm in a relationship with and I'm trying to like put it put myself in the shoes of like okay if I was in a relationship with them would I feel trying to like put it, put myself in the shoes of like, okay, if I was in a relationship with them,

would I feel differently about this? Would I feel like, get the fuck off my man? Because every relationship I've been in, I feel like that's, if a girl even like breathed the same air too closely and made like weird ass eye contact with my significant other, he would be hearing about it or they would be hearing about it. There's been only a couple times where like you know a girl got too touchy or something like maybe like touches arm or something and I had

no problem saying back the fuck up off my man. This happened a lot in college because I was a senior and I was dating someone who is a year below me and you know new classes come in of people of girls. So like, I remember we were seniors and he was a junior and there was like a new freshman class of girls coming in that obviously don't know who's in a relationship with who. So like there was a couple like freshman girls like hitting on like my boyfriend and I like had

to unfortunately set those people on their place and him. And I'm also like, you can't, you cross your arms or something, like do something, like wear a shirt with my face on it or something, like that was the type of girlfriend I was in college, but I was also extremely insecure and I feel like my problems in my relationship were a complete and utter mirror reflection of that.

So I was like, maybe if I was like a little more like confident and like self-assured and I also feel like he did a bad job about reassuring me of my own peace. Even if you know you're being fucking insane in a relationship, having your significant other, your boyfriend, reassure you constantly, it could be a pain in the ass for them. But sometimes a girl needs it. And we're just girls out here. We just want compliments and loves and hugs. And that's the kind of person I like sometimes a girl needs it and like we're just girls out here we just like want compliments and loves and hugs and that's the kind

of person I was in relationships so I don't know like it I'm trying to think if I was in college and my boyfriend at the time was like let's add a third I probably would have kicked him in the fucking balls but we tried other stuff we did like bondage and fun things like that like there was obviously still spice to our relationship but like my last resort would be like, okay, let's have a threesome If anything I used to like make out with like girls in front of him and like be like was that hot? Like I feel like everyone needs to do that. Like was that hot? And they'd be like, yeah, that was so hot But no, I feel like too much of the jealous type. I don't know. I haven't been in relationship in like six years

So it's hard to say how I would be now, but like I feel like I don't know. I haven't been in a relationship in like six years, so it's hard to say how I would be now. But like, I feel like, I don't know, I'm a little more self-assured, a little more confident. Maybe if like the tequila was flowing right, I would do it now and like wouldn't care. Like I said, I will beat this point over the head. The third person does have to be a random ass bitch. Or else it won't work. Cause then it'll be like three friends and then it'll get awkward.

Like you might like ruin a friendship there. Like that episode of Gossip Girl, you know that episode of Gossip Girl where Dan is dating Vanessa and then they, no, Dan is dating Hilary Duff. And then like they have the threesome with Vanessa. And then it's like super awkward because they're like all like oh fuck like we

All like hooked up with each other and like then like blah blah blah I just got complex like you don't want the complications of the post-snut clarity, okay? Because then I'll just get interesting Okay, am I the asshole for applying to jobs in different cities and planning to move even if I live with my boyfriend? I've let them know I'm applying to the jobs in other cities, but I plan on ending things after.

Oh, yeah, I would say that's an oop. This is what it looks like to me. I mean, I feel like for girls, they emotionally and mentally break up with someone months and months before they actually have a conversation with their significant other. Like they've already mourned the loss of their relationship before they even have a conversation with it and by the time they are able to eventually build the courage up to actually talk and say you know what I'm done they've already thought everything through and you know grieved everything that and I feel like

for men it's like the complete opposite they kind of just do it and then they like go out and have fun and party and then they grieve it like three months later I think that okay you told them that you're applying for other jobs I feel like that should be a red flag to your boyfriend just because why would you be applying to jobs if you're not gonna potentially take one of those? Unless he thinks that there's a chance that you guys are going to do long distance.

I don't personally believe in long distance. I think it's kind of like, what's the point? Unless the love is, I mean, maybe I've just never been in love like that before but like what there's so much stick out there why would I do long distance with someone that lives in like you know hours and hours away from me when I could just you know text someone that lives in like the east village um but you know am I the asshole I mean I don't I wouldn't say you're an asshole I would say you're just a girl living in this world

You know, it's your first time living just like it's my first time living. We're just trying to navigate our way through life I would Advise you and I'm not the relationship expert here I would advise you just to sit down with this man and say listen if I get a job My dream job and I have to move, I don't see us making it work long distance. And I think if you already know it's not gonna work long distance,

you already have it in you somewhere that you don't think the relationship's gonna work out in general. So I would just sit down with this man and say, this is how I feel. This is what's gonna happen if X, Y, and Z happens and I think we should cut ties or at least take some space. You know maybe the heart space makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe you move and you miss this man and maybe you guys come back together and rejoice and

embrace but probably not. You're probably going to find new dick and wherever you're moving to and wherever your new job is and wherever you're like starting your new fresh chapter of your life. Which is fine. You're allowed to do that and he can move on too. Let's do another one. Am I the asshole for telling him that I don't want to see him anymore because he has low self-esteem? Not at all. You're not a mother. You're not a therapist. I mean maybe you are a mother. I don't know your situation exactly but you're you're not his mother, you're not a therapist. I mean maybe you are a mother, I don't know your situation exactly, but you're you're not his mother, you're not his therapist, you're not a psychiatrist. It is not your job to pull him out of whatever rut he is in. You know,

I've been in a relationship where like I'm the one with a low self-esteem and even if you are a good person, even if this person is guilt-tripping you and like kind of trying to trauma bond with you and feels like if you don't stay with them, then they're gonna like self-implode. I mean, that's, it's just not your responsibility. I feel bad for people that are in these situations because there's a lot of like duality that goes into it. Like you feel like pulled in two different directions. One part of you feels like you want to be there for this person. You want to cater to this person. You love and care about this person as a human being. But on the other hand, it's fucking draining to be in a situation like that. It sucks the life out of you and you don't deserve that either. And you should not be a supplement to someone's happiness. You should be in a good place.

That's why I always say, entering relationship, you should feel like a whole person. And that person, whoever you choose to be in your life, they should add to it. They should not fill a void or fill a gap to make you feel like a whole person. So I feel like you're doing this person a favor by letting them go, figuring out their shit, letting

them grow individually on their own, on their own two feet so they don't feel super you know reliant on the self assurance, on the assurance of other people. Like it's not your job. I don't think you're an asshole at all. I think you would be making a smart and respectable Decision to cut him loose and his own mother can mother him and maybe he'll go to therapy Maybe he'll grow and then he'll come back to you. Maybe better. It's not your job and Don't make him feel like it is your job because I'm telling you it's not okay. Let's do another one. Um like it is your job because I'm telling you it's not. Okay let's do another one. Um, am I the asshole not wanting my boyfriend's mom engagement ring from his

dad? Parentheses they are divorced. I feel like the they are divorced in parentheses makes me feel like you think the ring is maybe a little cursed, maybe it's bad juju. Also maybe you don't like the ring, maybe you just want a fresh beautiful new ring. I don't think this is a bad thing. Also maybe you don't like the ring, maybe you just want a fresh beautiful new ring. I don't think this is a bad thing. I don't think you're the asshole at all. It's your fucking hand that you have to wear it every day. It's your jewelry at the end of the day and if he's really the one he's going to get you the ring of your dreams. I get the factor that maybe it's important to maybe him that you have his mother's ring or maybe it's important to his mother therefore

important to him that you have the ring. But at the end of the day what are you happy like what are you happy with it's your ring like it's a gift to you so you should have a say and I think you should have a say in the ring. I would first figure out how important this ring is to your man or to his mother or to whoever wants you to have said ring before telling him that having the ring is not an option that you need a new ring. So figure that out first and then we can have the next conversation because if it's super really important to him like obviously you don't want to hurt his feelings but also like your

opinion does matter in this it is your ring so no I don't think you're the asshole but I do think that it will be a careful and like you know very gentle conversation I wouldn't like yell at him for the ring but like you know it's kind of like feel out like the importance of it and then take it from there I would say that I mean if it was me I would want my own ring I don't want you know but like I'm like kind of like paranoid like that. Like I would think about the fact that they're divorced. I would be like okay I don't want that juju near my ring. That's what I would think but I'm also like super cishus in a lot of ways. But like I have a right to be. That's

fine. That's just me. Maybe there's a world where you live in, I mean I don't know how deep your man's pockets are, but there's maybe a world where you accept this sentimental ring as a gift, but he also gets you your own beautiful fresh start, fresh chapter, your own ring that you love. Maybe there's a world where they both can live in the same place because that would be honestly the biggest lie. I mean more diamonds that's perfect. That's what I would I would try to go for that. Okay guys, am I the asshole? That was a fun little segment. Thank you guys for submitting those. I feel like that'll be fun to do again and I feel like I love hearing about other

people's assholey moments but it's also like this is what I'm here for. I make you guys feel better about being an asshole. Maybe you're an asshole, maybe you're not, but like you know what? We can all be assholes together at the end of the day. Okay, there's other things I want to fill you in on. As you guys know or maybe saw on social media, whether that be Instagram or TikTok, my parents came into town along with my younger brother Sammy. They came for a little family shopping weekend spree filled with lots of dirty martinis and, you know, good times. Lots of laughs too. I hadn't seen my parents in a few months, which is fucking crazy to me. I'm extremely close with them, especially in my adult years.

I feel like I just love hanging out with my parents. I mean, they were always like the cool parents in high school. They always like kind of had like a long leash sort of parenting. We could stay out, we could have pre-games, post-prom, I talked about that last week. They were fucking cool ass parents

and I feel like it like very much created this like rapport where we're just like very open and just like love hanging out with each other now that we're like real adults in the real world. So they came in last week and you know my mom was a little upset because I am really bad at like calling her which I is important to some people I get it it, but like, I am not someone, I'm in the worst texture ever. Everyone that knows me well knows this, but they're like, I don't get it.

Like your whole life is on your phone. Like all you do is like post TikToks and Instagram, blah, blah, blah. How could you not like answer a phone call? I'm like, well, like that's kind of the point. Like I just want to get off my fucking phone. And I also have bad ADHD. So if I'm not replying to you, it's to,

don't take it personally, but it probably just means that I forgot to reply or was busy doing something. Or I was probably sleeping or napping. I've been doing that a lot lately too. So anyways, they came into town and kind of the program when they're in town, it's the same fucking thing every time.

They are creatures of habit. They stay at the same hotel. They love staying high to all the people that work there on a first-name basis. They have the same exact workout class they go to every morning at the same time and then we meet at the same brunch place. They get the same order and then we go uptown and we shop around and bop around. It's the most predictable weekend ever but there's a little bit of like it's there's a lot of safety that goes into a predictable weekend. I know that we're gonna have hangovers. I know we're gonna get good shopping done. I know

that we're gonna laugh a lot and we're gonna stay out late. So my parents they came in on a Friday. They went straight from the Amtrak. They love taking the Amtrak because we're they're from in the city of Boston. It's a four and a half hour, very beautiful scenic train that takes you right into the heart of Manhattan. They got in around 8.30 and I meet them at this restaurant. My mom clearly has a little bit of a buzz going and she was like, Hallie, like, cause I could tell cause the first thing she says to me

was like, you don't call me anymore. And I'm like, mom, hi, like I haven't seen you in so long. She's like, you don't pick up the phone. And I'm like, okay, like let me order a drink before we get into this. And my dad's like, you need to put Uber on your own credit card. Like I was like, okay, what is happening?

I literally just sat down and Sam's like, oh boy. And he's not drinking right now because he's doing this like summer cut thing. I guess guys do, I don't even fucking know what's going on with that. But anyways, my mom's like, oh boy, and he's not drinking right now because he's doing this like summer cut thing I guess guys do I don't even fucking know what's going on with that But anyways, my mom was like we ordered these like bottled like these Pre-bottled drinks in on the amtrak and I like I don't know if you slip me something like I can't really She was like a little wobbly, but I was like, did you eat anything all day? Are we blaming like the amtrak already and my dad's, well, I did slip him like a $50 tip.

So maybe you like put something in there extra. I'm like, okay, no, he wouldn't drug you as a thank you for tipping them for like what? That doesn't make any sense. So anyways, we went out, we had a great Italian meal. And then after every single meal, we always have the same dinners, we have what we call a final final and we never need the final final but we always do a final final and

they call it liquid dessert so that's usually my mom will get chamomile tea and put a little bourbon in it or she'll get an espresso martini and we'll kind of like interchange between those like liquid desserts and we usually just have them like in the lobby of their hotel and we end up like meeting like there's always like super cool people at their hotel so we end up meeting like people from different walks of life and like they just like love the aspect of like meeting people in New York it's great people watching you know just because my parents are in town doesn't mean that like I can't go out after because a final final to them is a final final end to their night.

A final final to me is okay, this is one more drink before I go to the next function, which is exactly what I did. I went to a members club I just joined right after, met up with some friends, met up with some daddies, and I feel like just because my parents are in town this is usually the case doesn't mean that you can't go out after and have your own fun it never gets in the way with any man and never interferes with anything I remember not too long ago probably maybe like the last time my parents were in town I went out the night after I ended up at gospel and then I ended up

hooking up with someone at like 8 a.m. which is like three hours before I have to meet up with my parents so I'm like in the twilight zone hours like the Sun is fucking up and so is this penis in my face and like all I'm thinking in the back of my head is holy shit I have to like have brunch with my parents in a few hours my point to the story is even if parents or family or guests or whatever what if they're in town it it's never going to interfere with me finding a man and bringing him home because you know, I still make it work. There is a final final and then there's the final final after the final final, which is my final final.

And speaking of finals, one final thing, I've talked about this a little bit, but I just feel like nightlife in general. I can't tell if it's like the bleakness of winter that is maybe just really starting to kick in for me mentally. Like I just have no interest in like staying out until like the Sun comes up anymore. Maybe that's my frontal lobe developing or maybe that's just like me aging really But like like for instance the other night like people want to go to Solomon like the they're like, oh, let's just go like 2 a.m We'll do like a little toosie and we'll like go to the Brooklyn Mirage and like have a night and I was like that sounds like a Literally my worst fucking nightmare that sounds like a sleep paralysis

Demon has entered the chat because I like I know interested interest in doing that but I was like wait am I not being fun or am I just like I just like can't tell right now because I have no interest I just hit a fucking wall around like 130 and I'm like okay maybe I'm not pacing myself correctly with alcohol so I tried to do that the following night and I was like, wait, has nothing to do with alcohol. I just like, there's no point. Like if sometimes you just gotta call it a night. And I'm one of those people that like, I hate calling it a night. I hate letting go of the night.

You know when like everyone's like, all right, it's time to go to bed. I am that person that like, I get sad when that hour is approaching because I don't wanna say goodbye. I want the party to continue. And then I just like kinda, I don't want to say goodbye. I want the party to continue and then I just like kind of I don't want there to be a goodbye that was fun so you guys whatever I just would rather go out to like the peak and then like snap them in bed. I don't want the

goodbyes to the night that's just like not the type of person I am but recently I've just been like I'm fucking cold it's cold outside like everyone's dick shriveled up no one's outside I don't know where all the hot men are hiding they're like underground in the tunnels I don't even know where these men are hiding out I've tried switching up bars locations members clubs blah blah no they're all either taken or gay I don't at this point I don't have no fucking idea or they're in Miami or in Aspen which is why I'm fucking done with this month fucking idea. Or they're in Miami or in Aspen which is why I'm fucking done with this month. I'm done with winter. And then honestly I don't want spring either. Spring's like wet. Spring's like one big wet ass pussy. Like I don't want spring

either. It's like kind of cold too but it's damp and like you know it's not conducive with any hairstyle. It's kind of just a fucking shit show I just need hot summer I want it to be a UV 10 I want a spicy margarita or a rose in my hand or both in each hand and I want a hot man with a 10-pack right next to me or a daddy that is paying for our boat day one or the other or all the above. Nothing in between. Sorry to get that out. That felt good.

That's what I'm looking forward to Miami, which is like coming up in a few weeks, the Miami unwell spring break trip, which if you guys know unwell, they can fucking throw a good ass fucking party. I've probably been to like all of them at this point. If there's been a tally who's gone to the most unwell events, I would like to raise my hand and say that I've probably been at every fucking one, maybe missed one. Even if like someone from unwell lets me know like three days prior about an unwell event, I'm like okay where am I booking my flights? I will be there. I will be

there with bells on. Let me plan my outfits. They I mean they know how to throw a fucking party. They always go so great. This party in particular, it's Miami. I think it's a three day fucking fuckfest of a banger and it's going to be amazing and I am looking forward to it. It's going to bring me back into my Miami days, which I've touched on very briefly, but there's so much lore to my Miami days, which I've touched on very briefly, but there's so much lore to my Miami

days. I was a fucking, it was, you know, I mean, I'll get into it and like probably the next episode right before we head to Miami, but I was a force to be reckoned with in my mind. I lived there for three months. And you know, Miami's not for the the faint-hearted it's not for the weak and I learned that pretty quickly but it's gonna be a lot of fun I'm very excited to get some sun to bathe, Craydon will be there all the usual suspects and it's gonna be like a fucking blast so I have that to look forward to as long as I have something in my schedule to look forward to I can sleep at night I can hit REM. I can

like cross off the days on my calendar and be giddy about something because for a while I was like I have nothing to be giddy for like I need a trip planned. But now I have the unwavering break. It's gonna be a fucking blast. Okay guys that was fun. It's always fun going down memory lane with you guys. That was a fun little episode. I love doing these little solos and like you guys have the best submissions. That was a fun little episode. I love doing these little solos and like you guys have the best submissions. That was a fun little segment as well. Keep sending me those because I want to hear your dirtiest and craziest shit. Ask me questions. Tell me anything fucking crazy. I want to hear it. It honestly makes me feel better about my life decisions as well because,

you know, we're not all that different. We're all pretty pretty much the same we're all cut from the same cloth which is why I fucking love you guys anyways to close out this episode you know you can watch the episode on YouTube listen on every other platform Spotify Apple music etc etc leave five stars comment all the good things but yeah I love you guys thank you bye see you in Miami