Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Truth or drink, brand deal money, & her relationship status *ft. Delaney Rowe*

Episode Date: April 16, 2026

Delaney Rowe is here!!!!.... BOTTLE OF (NATURAL) WINE IN HAND! 🍷 In one of our favorite episodes YET, Delaney and Hal talk about the isolation of NYC, matching your party level with friends, being an afters-oholic, Hallie's accidental billboard on a toilet, and Delaney clears up her relationship status! She shares how she faked going to culinary school for a job, how creators have party vices, the parasocial relationship that is social media, and the types of guys she attracts. Hallie and Delaney wrap up with a game of "He's a 10 but..." and a SURPRISE drinking game. Delaney, we love you!! And love YOU too, muah! 💋 Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oh, I'm Virga on September 8th. What does that mean? I don't know. I don't know anything about psychology. Wait, astrology. There we go! Let's get Extra Dirty. Okay, guys, welcome back to Extra Dirty.

We have Delaney Rowe here, the most beautiful, the most talented comedian, actress, gorgeous, my friend. How much. Did you like that intro? I love that intro. Wait, that was like a great intro. It was natural, felt loose. I felt like we've known each other for years. We have known each other, but he is.

We've known each other for a year. For one year. For one year. But we hit it off. And we hit it off and we've hung out twice. Three. Maybe three times. Wait, remember the first time we hung out?

Oh, yeah. Sure. Can we go over that? Like, we got dinner. I think I like crashed a date you were on. We got dinner. Well, what was really funny about that is we had met at what was a very kind of prestigious event, which was like Time 100 creators.

Yeah. I feel very gracious for having been on that list. I don't even know why I wasn't even on the list. I don't know why I was there, honestly. Which you told, but you're like, I don't know why I'm here. No, some girl comes up to me that worked out like an agency and was like, why are you here if you're not on list? And I was like, all right, I'm going to go.

Bye. Well, you looked so good. And I came up to you and I said, hi, we've been talking online for a while, but I'm a huge fan. And I think we would be friends. Yeah. And then you were like floating around and you're kind of like, I don't know why I'm here.

I'm like, do you want to get dinner? And then you said, yes. And then I said, oh, just hold on one sec. I got a, I got a plan B. You go, you went, you went, what? Like, what? You're going to ditch me? Like, if you're going to ditch me, like, I thought I was, you know, like, plan A. I was like, no, I got to, I got to go I hate plan B. I got to go buy plan B. And then, like, I think you went. Yeah. And then I went and then, and then took it. And then, and then we had dinner. And it was great. So we had a great time. Sort of like way to start the night. Yeah. But no, the juxtaposition between being at that, like, prestigious of an event to having to run to CVS to take a plan B was...

I think we were smoking cigarettes at one point. Always. Were we? Always? I mean, if I'm drinking, I'm smoking a cigarette. No, yeah. I feel like they kind of go with each other. You were the first person that's brought me alcohol here, which I'm like... So that's crazy to me. I don't think it's appropriate to ever show up to something like this where someone's put in so much work.

and then they come on and they don't thank you for it? I mean, this is like, it's like a housewarming gift, honestly. Exactly. Like, don't show up to someone's dinner party and not bring a bottle of natural wine. Honestly, it's natural. Can you explain to me? The reason why I brought you this was because, like,

I know that this isn't your bag, but it's mine, and I thought that it would be funny to ingratiate you into the world of natural wine. No, like, I'm, I feel like I want to take a page out of your book. I'm a cocktail girl, but I'm like an alcohol person. Well, you said that hottails get you there quicker, but I, and I said, you know, I don't know. I think all cats look the same in the dark. In the dark, which is true.

Is you're drinking enough? At the end of the day. This one looks to me more like a light red, but we're going to see. Let's see. Put it in the light. It could be, I don't know. Let's find out. I did not buy this.

My sweet assistant bought this for me. As we were wrapping up today, I said, I'm bringing Hallie something. Can we run across the street and get something? They're so sweet. Let me do the honors. I tried to open a bottle of wine under pressure the other day and I cracked the cork. No, like, shameful. I'm shocked.

I haven't like, it's like a swing and a mess for me. Yeah, there you go. And this is high, high table. No, we're like very, but beneath this table. No, it's good, though, because then you can kind of sit and not worry about whatever your top is doing. Exactly. Oh. Oh, you know, you're hedging it.

Oh, almost. Wait. There it is. Oh, yeah. There it is. And then do one more. Yep. And then this one?

Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that's why it's two tears. I know. It's like a ladder. Okay. It wants you to, it wants you to succeed. This thing's like in my face, yo. So that looks like.

It looks like sangria. Yeah. That's like a red. Oh, thank you. You would say this is red wine. Gentlemen. This is a red wine. It's just a natural red wine.

And people are going to... What makes it natural? Is it made out of potatoes? So natural, the definition. The definition of natural wine is that it's a wine where there's nothing added to it and nothing taken away. So like when you get to the bottom of this bottle, it's going to have all this like weird, hairy gross shit. Oh, you're really selling me on this. Thanks.

Yeah. No. Ah. Oh, it's hairy wine. It tastes good. Why don't we try it? Okay. And then we'll see what happens.

All right. Cheers. Eye contact. That's really good to me. Actually, it's pretty good. It tastes like a gatorade. No, it tastes like an unwell hydration. Sorry, it tastes like a...

Got that. No, you are, cut that. It tastes like an unwell. How are you? I'm doing really well. I had a good day. And I have been traveling a lot. I've been gone for like a month.

Yeah. And I just got back to New York. I'm realizing it is hard to make plans in New York. What do you mean? I find it so easy to isolate New York. I have this problem too. Like, I don't leave my apartment unless I am obligated to or it's for like, you know, going out plans. But like, I'm a vampire.

No, that's it. Same. Absolutely. But hold on. Miss Afters five nights a week. I do. Where'd that go? Are you coffee?

No, I do that. But, like, I don't like enjoy the city in ways that other people do. Like, I don't like go for walks, you know. No, me neither. People, like, enjoy, like, exercising and stuff like that. I enjoy exercising. However, I am going to try and do a couple things that I want to do. Like, I want to, like, bring, like, a bottle of wine like this. Yeah. To central work. To set your park.

Like, it's like, you pulled it from my brain. Wait, yeah, we're finishing. Yeah, we should go together. Finish each other's exposure therapy. Sentences. Did you have any New Year's resolutions? No. Are you, like, uh, like, you're not a New Year's resolution type of person? No, are you? Do you like a skincare routine? No.

So what is your... Do you have a hobby? Do you have hobbies? A hop? No! I have a job. No, I don't have a hobby. I would love to create some mental space for all of those things.

But every day is like a disaster. What does your day-to-day look like? Oh, wait, I really wanted to ask you this. We can... Can you go first? Yeah, okay. Because I was so curious about you because you were telling the people in the last episode, it's kind of new.

You're waking up at 8. But usually you wake up at 3. I go through faces. Okay. So tell me, like now, like, what did today look like? Like, today was a work day. I woke up really early. I had to be in hair and makeup at, like, actually, it was not early, like noon.

I had to be in hair and makeup. And then I was doing, you know, confessional stuff for this TV show. I'm filming, this reality TV show. Did they know about it? No, they don't know about it. And they do. I don't, like, it's not going to see the light of day. Like, we filmed a pilot.

It might see the light of day. I don't know. Oh my God. So like last night, did you drink last night? Did you go out last night? So last night was my best friend Dylan's birthday. So I went to nobu with him, Avi, to celebrate. I always celebrate a birth.

Of course. It's an emotional write-off for me. Yeah, so I've been on quite a little bender. I'm not going to lie. But I'm a functional drinker. Same. I mean, who knows how long that will last, though. I feel like Charlie Sheen probably said that at one point.

Yeah, I feel like Charlie Sheen sometimes. I do too. Oh, my God. I went to Tokyo for New Year's. I had gone with someone who was sort of a different travel match than me and a different party match. But I didn't really know that before going. Like a party more or less? Way less. You like to fucking party.

Yeah, I do. Yeah. It was like if Dora the Explorer and Charlie Sheen went to Tokyo. That was kind of... I've never been to Tokyo, but it's fun. I was like, well, I... I also heard it's fun. So, you know, I do like to party.

And it's a funny thing where people like you, meaning people who are more open about that on the internet, like you're a front-facing camera girl. Like you talk about your life all the time. And I'm not that at all. Sometimes people are like, you meet me. Yeah. They're like, whoa, you like to party.

Like you like to rip it. Like just like me. And I love that. Yes. Yes. I see a lot of myself in you. No, yeah. That's where we bonded. When I was younger.

I was, how old are you? Wait, I'm 28. When I was 28. How old are you? 47. I can't with you. I might as well be. I feel.

No, like, my liver is probably 48. Serosis. I definitely am turning green. Turning green at some point. Right, the whites of your eyes. Yeah. Check those. Yeah, yeah.

No, but I do love that about you. I love that about your father. You were father. What else do you like about me and my family? Come on, I like compliment. I like your hot brother, Sammy. Okay. You're like, call me.

Yep. What is he, like, 11? No, he's 24. Ah! Just one year younger than my ex. Do you like younger guys or older guys? What's your, like, most consistent type? Or if you put all your exes?

Hold on. We have like 12 tabs open right now. I know. We're getting back to your daily routine. We're getting back to that. I will quick the answer. I need out of all. I'm holding this on my finger right here.

Okay. About getting back to your routine. Okay. But quickly, my type is tall, brunette, funny-ish, but smart, more important. Okay. Yeah. Same industry?

Or like... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or peripheral. Or perjointed. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Back to your... Okay. So a typical day of my life, I would ideally wake up between 10 to 11. I Uber eats Starbucks, and it's always a shaken,

a brown sugar, shaken oat milk, espresso with a strawberry cold foam. Okay. And why aren't you just... get in your ass to the Starbucks. Because I don't want to walk. I know where you live. You live right near me. And I know how many Starbucks are by us.

I know. So why am I paying $18 on Uber Eats for a coffee? Because to me it's almost worse, the effort of like checking the phone, waiting for it to arrive, having to go like buzz and then go down and blah blah, then just going. It's putting shoes on and putting clothes on.

I don't like to do that. Oh, I just go out in pajamas. I typically do that too, but I just like, I get up and I'm dizzy and I just like to lay down. Because you had the afters. Yeah, because I had the after. I'm like an aftersaholic. I've been to one. You have been to one.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, you came to that one. And I was like, can I smoke six cigarettes inside? No, we were smoking cigarettes in there. And like, everyone was smoking six in there and like everyone was like having the best time ever. It was a great night. But like I accidentally, I think I should put my phone down the afters. Why?

Because you be posting. Yeah. Finger happy. What's it called? Finger happy. Like post, post, post. No, but that's what is your brand. So that makes sense to me.

Yeah, but I just think the last thing I posted, it ended up on Reddit. There was like... Oh, everything I do ends up on Reddit. Do you have, do you have haters? Yeah. Why? How could they ever hate you? I think you're funny, smart.

I think there's just some criticism available to anyone who puts himself out there. Is part of the job. Yeah. Which is fine with me. I don't care. Anything that I've ever been criticized about doesn't really hurt my feelings because it's not something that I've already held as an insecurity. If somebody goes after something that I've previously like a story in my head that's already reeling, then it hurts my feelings. But usually it's not that. It's usually something like her eyes are shockingly close together. And I'm like, oh, I never thought about that. They are. But it doesn't bother me.

People used to call me handsome squid word. Oh, good. Yeah. God. Good, yeah. Good God, yeah. And they would post that picture. When they started being able to post pictures in the comment section of TikTok, like, honestly, it ruined my...

Oh, I don't even look at that. You don't read comments? No. Nothing. I need to take a page out of your book. Nothing. I'm really not online except for my own thing. And then if I have to do something like, if I'm doing this, I'm going to do a deep dive on you for about a week.

and make sure I'm up to date. You're working. Yeah, but I don't like to scroll. You did a deep dive on me? Yeah, of course. What do you know? Oh, fuck. I know the famous stories.

I know the... Do you know all my cancellations? I know all your cancellations. I'm also obsessed with the ad of you that runs across New York City. Is it still up? What is it called? Good wipes.

Good wipes. And what is that for? Your ass? It's for your vagina. Yeah, but like, I mean... Or both. I mean, they're all in the general area. Anything's a good wife if you're brave enough.

No, yeah. But like my grandma goes, thank God I don't share a last name with you because this is so embarrassing for our family. Not embarrassing. It's money. You made money and it's fucking funny. And like, you were ballsy enough to do that.

I think it's also... I also... I saw it and I went, hell yeah. No, like, I also, full transparency, didn't redline like the contract. I didn't know it was going to be on a billboard. You don't have lawyers? No, I have lawyers.

Like, I just looked at the fee, how much they were paying me, and I was like, this is sick. Yeah. I understand that. But I didn't read that. I was going to be on a billboard sitting on a toilet. And I'm sorry, nobody broke that down to you because we got to talk about that. I think they probably did. You know that show?

I love L.A. I've not seen it. But, like, I had a moment where I was like, oh, my God, I'm on a billboard, like, sitting on a toilet. It was like that kind of moment. Well, what did you think it was going to be just some social media? Just so, yeah, I would be holding a wipe, like holding a wipe, talking about like, yeah.

They smell good. Well, look, I loved it. And I think probably everyone, like, all of your friends loved it and probably just sent you it all the time and thought it was really funny and great. Well, like, it kind of worked because, like, it was like extra dirty, like my podcast and keep your ass extra clean. Like the way they like pitch it to me, I was like, this is like perfect. You keep your ass extra clean?

Do you use them? It's the cleanest. Yeah, I do. Great. I also use them to, like, clean my services, my apartment. After you've cleaned your ass. Yeah, exactly. After the afters, yeah.

Wait, so we were talking about this before we started recording, but, like, you're not chronically online at all. What is your free page? Do you, like, scroll? I don't, I wouldn't even know what my free of pages. I don't scroll. I know that sounds crazy and, like, I'm lying, but I really don't. And it was because not for the reason that you would think. It was not because I was, like, feeling jealous or whatever the hell.

or comparative. I had gone through a horrible breakup. I was like so sad. And looking at social media, it was me trying to manufacture dopamine and serotonin. And I was like, there's nothing that will work. This can't get me that high anymore. This can't do it.

It is broken. Yeah. Fuck it. Yeah. I can't do it. It is broken. And it's just compounding the fact that I can't be happy in this moment. Yeah.

And so I was off. for a really long time as I healed through that breakup and then it just kind of stuck. Yeah. I kind of like, I feel like that's probably like a healthy approach. It wasn't a choice. I had to. I was like every time I would go on there like see some advice about dating or something or God forbid see something about me on there, it would just break me.

Like like that first week of the breakup I had gotten like ripped to shreds or was it like a public breakup or like a private one. No, no, it was a private breakup. But I had just gotten like ripped to shreds for like. something I was wearing at some of that. And I was like, I'm actually good on this. Yeah, you're like, I'm good on scrolling. Ah, yeah.

Yeah. Have you ever gotten canceled for anything? Mm-hmm. And like, and then you just kind of get, like, it feels like the world is ending. And then I don't know, it's something Alex Cooper said, or I guess Matt said to Alex, which was like two weeks, two weeks, and then everyone forget. He does say that all the time because she does a lot and get some shit online and I'd definitely get shit online too.

People have the attention span of mice. Yeah. Like, and there's always me something new in the news cycle. Your shit online is really funny. I love to be on your close friends. Yeah. That made me feel special. You're on it, right?

Yeah. No, Mike, I post more my close friends. All of it. All of it. It's so funny. Like, I process on my close friends. It's like there. Me too.

Me too. I love that. But, like, when I, like, the last thing I got canceled for was, like, a common. The condoms? The condom thing. Yeah. Which I double down. Like, it probably wasn't like the best.

Can you remind me the thesis of your opposers? So I said, yes. So I made the statement on a podcast that like conoms kind of ruined the vibe. And that like when people whip them out, like I got a golden ticket. It kind of just like, I said it ruins the vibe. But I also people didn't clip this part. But like I also said that these guys that ask you to wear condoms, it's always like the guy that like is like an athlete. or something like they are like thinking

them trying to like lock them into like a pregnancy or something. Oh, interesting. It's like the semi-famous people like that it kind of rubs me the wrong way. Okay. No pun intended. I mean, hey, look, that's a take from a person who's at a very specific relationship to sex and dating. Yes. So like, yeah, I guess it's not relatable to a lot of the world.

And I also said I don't know a lot of people that use condoms. Like, I don't. And like, maybe that's, I mean, I don't even know if I'm going to keep this part in. But like, I don't even. I think you're being. diplomatic right now. No, but like I shouldn't have said it. I shouldn't have doubled down on it because it created a bigger conversation about like getting tested. I never, I always get tested, but like. Sure you do. Yeah. Often.

So we all. Let's go to the next topic. Who are you dating? I'm single. You're single? Yeah. Are you single? I am single, but there would be like maybe a couple people who'd be like, I think we're dating. That's like literally that that's the vibe I want for this bring. I don't know about it. It's not my fault. Guys that see this that are like, wait, I thought we were exclusive. Yeah.

So no, no, I'm single. Yeah. And having fun. Totally. I love dating. I feel like the last where I saw you were like definitely making out with someone. But maybe not. Well, they, well, I don't know.

I don't know. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to. Give any descriptive? No, no, I'm single. Yeah. Do you like being single? I love it.

Like, I'm, I've been single for like seven years, yeah. Every time I see you, I feel like you're making out of someone. No, that's true. I make out with everyone. Make out with everyone have sex with no one. That's what I think. I'm learning the second half of that part. I think I give a lot of me to a lot of people.

Wow, actually say more about that. I love where we're going with this. Yes. What meaning do you ascribe to sex. I think through the years, I've kind of gotten so used to, like, not being, like, valued in a romantic way, but, like, still, like, wanting and needing sex. And it just kind of has lost value to me in a probably a negative way. Yeah. Because, like, it should be special. And it's not, honestly, it's not that good when it's, you know, it's probably better with some, I've learned a way

to, like, make it fun for me when it's, like, not with someone I can. care about, but I think that it should, like, I don't know. I've just like, I think it's, the meaning's been lost for me, but. Look, in general, I actually do think sex is a little overrated. It is, right? I do think sex is a little overrated. I think we put a premium on it that is unnecessary. But I also think it's like alcohol. If you take breaks from it and you drink on, like, a night that is like really fun, you get drunker and you have a better time. So it's like It's like if you go on a bender of drinking, every night's like, Jesus Christ, I'm just trying to get like back to zero and blah, blah.

So it's, I think, similar to sex in that way. Yeah, I mean, I go through phases where I don't sleep with anyone for months, like seven months. And then I'll like also go through phases where like I can look with like five guys in like a month. A night. Yeah. A night would be crazy. But I've had some really sketchy months recently. Oh, really?

Wait. Tell me the craziest thing that you've done in this sort of like bender that you're coming off of that you spoke of earlier. I wasn't awesome. This is my podcast now. Yeah. I honestly kind of love it. No one ever asked me questions on here. You know what?

Fuck them and they never bring you wine. No. They also never bring me fucking wine. All right. I'm out with it. I was in Austin, Texas a couple weeks ago. And I hooked up with someone each night. I was there.

South by? Yeah. And they were all like industry people. Hell yeah. Yeah. Oh, were you happy about it? No, because, like, I realized in the middle of each that I was too drunk and I just kicked them out. Because if I can't finish, there's no point of me having sex.

I think that's, uh, feminist. That's feminist. There's, like, why would I want to, like, please you if I can't please me? I understand that. I have a sort of different take on that. I don't think that an orgasm, like my orgasm is necessary for me to enjoy the experience. Really? No.

No, I think that's like, you. Because personally, like, to kind of have that, I have to be very comfortable with somebody for months or go to such a private place in my own mind. That's what I do. That I'd actually rather just kind of be there and then, like, sort of jettison the orgasm. Yeah, like kind of like the foreplay of it all. Sure. You know, great. And then I have like this fun connection and great story and blah, blah, blah.

So I'm not focusing on that as much. I don't know. So like justice for not having an order. Yeah, justice for the ones that can't finish. Yeah, that's great. And we're just as feminist. I think, yes. I'm feminist 2.0.

I think I just like, like you said, I go to this like really private place in my head. And I block them out almost. Yeah. And find the finish line. And so I'm not always wanting to do that. I'm kind of like, let's see what's up here. Yeah. Let's go on view.

What's going on view? Wait, I kind of like love that. I would love. I feel like this is sex head for me. Check it out. Check it out. Wait, so what does your day-to-day look like? Okay, my day to day.

Or what's it? Give me a day in your life. The day in my life is, I wake up at like seven or eight and I, this is so nerdy, but I try to like, whatever book I'm in the middle of, I'll try to like read a little bit, maybe for 30 minutes. And then it's, well, look, it's because I'm in the middle of finishing a book right now. So in order to write, I get encouraged to do it. it by reading something good because then I go like, oh, shit, maybe I could make something like that. So you're really fucking smart?

I don't know. That's up to you to decide. I think you are. It's a pretty wall to decide. Well, I don't read. Well. Reading. Reading's high base.

What if, what about an audio book? I need visuals. Okay. Well, you can read my book. You'll like that. It's about, you know, sex and drugs and rock and roll. Wait, yeah. Can you send me your book?

It's not done yet, but I will. When's it done? What's it about? It's a book of, It's a book of nonfiction comedy essays about my life, about men, about sex, about love, about food, about partying. Wait, that's the funny book. You should make it a series, a movie. That is the plan.

Oh, you definitely were going there with that. I feel like that sounds like a good book, though. I'm really excited. I feel like you have so many moving parts and you're so successful in different aspects of your life. You're a comedian, you're good on social media. You like to party. like you do everything. Like that's something like the party the most.

I'm like, we are definitely a party match. So, okay, hold on. I'm holding us on my finger here. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm right there. But I'm just going to finish my day. I'm going to finish my day real quick.

Finish your day. Just because I want to see if it matches with yours at all. Okay. I didn't even finish my day. Oh, fuck. 17 different tabs. Someone get us a goddamn Adderall. Okay.

So after I read, I write then for a while. and then I work out. So I'll either do Pilates will go for a run. What are the timestamps on this? Time stamps are, so I'm trying to get out for a workout at 9.45 to 10 because then my assistant comes at 11. When she comes in, it's just like, I have no choice but to lock in. And she's something that's given my life a lot of structure.

And for what you understand, we don't have very structured lives. Yeah. It's kind of hard to find that. Yeah. So she comes in and then we'll do some sort of admin for a while. And then we shoot personal content. If I have it that day, if the creative gods descend, which it doesn't always happen. I tell you.

And then we'll shoot like a brand deal. With whatever time in the day is left, we just like putter around and like move a mason jar from there to there. What does your evening look like? Evening looks like if I'm being a good girl, I go to Whole Foods and I buy something exciting to cook and I'll cook something. And like instead of... Because it's a hobby. Okay, great. Yes, but it was my job at one point.

So I used to be a private chef. Well, yeah, wait, I heard that was in my notes. You, like, fake got into culinary school. Yeah, oh, I didn't fake it. I did not get it. I was not in culinary school. I just pretended that I was on my resume when I was applying for a job. And you got the job?

Yeah. Are you good to cook? Really good. You have to come to a dinner party. I'm going to throw one in, like, three weeks when I get back from it. Coachella. Are you going to Coachella? Are you going to Coachella?

Are you going to Weekend 1. I'm going Weekend 1. I'll see you there, Hall. Can we go the afters together? Yes, let's get crazy. Let's, like, lose her fucking minds. No, I want to like. Let's have a threesome.

I don't want to have a foursome. Oh, my God, we should have a foursum. That'd be so fun. I'd be like, let her cook. Let her. I'd be like, I don't come. Let her cook. Let her cook.

I'll cook. And then you'd be like, I'm too drunk. I'm leading. Yeah. I can't come. Honey, it's not about that. It's not about that. Come back.

Come back. Let's all just talk. You know what? Let's all talk. That's what I have for some. I'm doing. Yeah, a for some. Oh, God, a for some.

No. No. No. definitively, no. But like, gosh, when I was like, you think it's a forsome when you're like a kiddo and nobody's like really having sex, but you're all in the same room and you're all like kissing and you're like, that was a four son. Yeah, we just had more.

I definitely have not. Yeah. But it is not off the table. I definitely want to do that. I've always wanted a three, so, two guys. I've had three sums with two girls, but not two guys. Yeah, well, it's in your future. In fact, I could call two men right now who would come over, and I swear to God, 45 minutes.

No, I said, 45. So you could do it right here. You could do right on air. What the, yeah. And I could sit in the cut chair. Do we have a chair? We have a chair. We have a chair.

We have a chair. I would sit in the cut chair. Okay, perfect. And I'd be like DJing it. Do you listen to music when you have sex? I hate that. No, that's very college. It to go to the beat.

Yeah. Then I'd be like... I'm like, passion fruit. Nna, na, na, nah. I'm not doing that. I'd rather... I'd rather die. Did you go to college?

Yeah, I did. I went to USC. Did you go? Yeah. Where'd you go? I went to Union College. Where's that? Upstate New York.

Great. I was a Classics major. I like to talk to people about. What is... Classics. What? So Classics is like Greek art, architecture.

I was really good at Lacket. I was like translating Latin poetry at one point. Okay, hobbies, we've got Latin. We've got taekwondo or no, karate. Yeah. Round belt. Yeah. Did you see those pictures?

Yeah. Yeah, they were bad. That's why I'm funny. We're having so much. I haven't even looked at one thing once. We don't need to. No, I don't think we need to either. That one is like this.

This is gonna be the, what's a thumbnail? Yeah. The opener. Hey. Okay. I finished my day. If I'm being a good girl by, looking at home and then I will watch TV or a movie and then read and then take a sleeping pill.

Oh, that's right. I'm prescribed to tracetone. It doesn't fucking work. I need seven, yeah. No, I take two and they don't work. The dreams are just, you're supposed to take half of one. The dreams that you have on tracetone are like really scary to me. Oh, terrible.

Like I have nightmares. No, me too. And then, but in the morning I wake up with what feels like a sort of balm over my brain. Yeah. And that kind of is nice for a second. And then you're like, wait, I can't think. I can't think I have no thoughts. And I didn't sleep well.

Amazing. So maybe I'll stop taking that. But if I'm being a bad girl, it's kind of like cocktail hour, like, if I'm lucky, 5 p.m. Oh, we're hitting a 445 sometimes. Yeah. Three. Yeah. Three.

Yeah. Morning. One. Blast off. Yeah. I will have, like, open a bottle of wine. Yeah. And, you know, seeing where the girls are at. Like, I'm like a downtown rat.

I'm like a Lower East Side East Village girl. Oh, well, yes. Yes. And so. But you like a members club, too. No. I mean, well, Soho. SVB. Yeah, wait.

Yeah, SVB. I'm not Soho House. I'm not Chateau Margot. I know you're all about that. Chateau Margot. Is that right? I think you're combining Chateau Margot. Wait, Shea Margot.

Shea, see, you know what I mean. Yeah. But I will go to, like, you know, Um, nine orchard, like the bar there. I love, like, swan room or I'll go to La Dive or annoying. I know it. I just know that I know that I'm sounding annoying. Yeah. And I will kind of go have a few drinks with girlfriends and then we'll get a dinner. And I love to go to dinner. I love to go to like the Odeon or Odeon's my next to me. Well, same, right? Oh, yeah. You've literally been in my apartment. You know. We're like actually our neighbors. Yeah. I forget that's

sometimes. And then, you know, what I think was going to be an innocent dinner ends up with like 2 a.m. crying in the back of an Uber, listening to Gracie Abrams. Yeah, what's your music taste? I like Gracie Abrams. That was kind of random pull, but mostly I'm listening to oldies. Like I like like Marvin Gay and like Fiona Apple. I kind of love that. You kind of give that. It's very like cool girl. Okay. Now let's go back to the parting of all. Okay. So I actually really was interest in talking to you about this because it's kind of a phenomenon and not a phenomenon at all, actually a predictable outcome of people in our industry. Because of this lack of structure in our lives, right?

And so it is so easy to say yes to something crazy on a Tuesday night because we don't necessarily always have to get up for something on the Wednesday morning. I never usually do. I usually don't either. And it's more of like I, you know, am technically. leave the boss and I dictate my own schedule, but I also need to be responsible and get deadlines done and things like this. But my God, it is always easy to kick something down the road or whatever. And everyone I know who does this, what we do, make internet content

or is like an actor or something has like a party. Has a party advice. Yes, it's our advice. Absolutely. Like what is your experience with it? Like has it gotten more robust since doing internet stuff? Has it gotten more out of control? It's snowballs? Yeah, has it increased? Yeah, it's, yeah, I guess I should know the definition of robust. I love you. That was an essence of you. I love you so much. Yes, I mean, it has, but also I kind of write it off in a way where like I have this podcast, I have the show. A lot of this show is to talk about the crazy stories I have on my nights out. So sometimes when I say yes to something going out on a Tuesday, having a wild night. It's right off. I'm like working. You're working. That's kind of how I look at it.

working. But I have recently felt like maybe I've been overdoing it a little bit. Overdoing it in if I look at partying and we look at kind of the levels like if it's like on a chart, it's like drinking, staying out too late, drugs, random sex, like where are those levels at? Do you have another hand? Yeah. So like bad decisions, anxiety. Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. Waking up from calls from publicists. Oh. Stories out for 24 hours.

Great. Pushing deadlines. Oh, fantastic. But yeah, there's like, I would like to keep my problems on one hand if I were to use that analogy. But you seem so like it doesn't get to you. I don't care, yo. Like, I'm just young ones. It really doesn't seem like it gets to.

I mean, you feel, I feel like you bounce. back, like, quick. Like, me and Jake are, like, after, like, a big night, like, Jake and I will sometimes be like, are you okay? Like, how bad is your anxiety? Like, how is your mental health? Is he good anxiety? Yeah, like, we're out for days sometimes. I don't, like, catch up with him when he's hungover. So I don't know, like, how is anxiety affecting him. Sorry, Jake mentioned. Yeah. Jake mentioned. Um, love Jake, by the way. Thank you. But, um, my anxiety, I kind of like, I'm like, I didn't murder anyone. Maybe I shot off some fiery texts. Maybe I posted a story that I didn't mean to go on like not my close friends,

but you know, like the world will heal. And the world gets over very quickly. Yeah, of course. I only posted something bad once. What was it? And what was it? Bring it right up. Yeah, I'll bring it right up. Like I posted some, a story of one of my friends. And there was some, like paraphernalia. Like it was just there in my apartment. So people just like like assumed I was that was salt. You were so you were cooking. You guys were cooking. Delaney was over cooking. I was cooking. I was cooking of over-salted caccio Pepe. People like that story. People love to like zoom in but like that night I had hooked up with someone and I was up all night and I wasn't on Instagram or anything. We literally had a full night being up, hooking up. I had the best night ever.

Oh my God. Look at my phone at 4 p.m. the next day. Yeah. And, like, because that's like when you work out. Yeah. Publicist. The story was up for 19 hours. It was about guys being like, delete this now.

Blah, this is really bad. It was on Reddit. It had thousands and thousands of comments. Who gives the shit if you did a little cupcake? I guess brands. But like, I wasn't even in the frame. Like, who's to say? I was doing it.

Like, I wasn't doing it. Interesting. I don't do drugs. I kind of love that for you. I don't do drugs. But you know what? In a way, I kind of hate that for me because I feel like I miss a lot of invites

because I don't do drugs. Hey, I've only been your afters once. Where's my invite? Did you see any drugs? No. I didn't. Exactly. So I get invited to the PG.

Yeah, we were like, Delaney's here. Hide that shit. No, okay. I like that for me. Kind of wholesome. But like, if I'm having an after party at like five, 5 a.m. and I invite 30 people over. If someone brings that shit out, who's to say whose it is,

you know? And that's plausible deniability. Yeah. And I'm trying to like, that she is. That she is. That. She is. That was about it. Yeah. There she goes. There she goes. Yeah, we're really got it. Do you think you're good in bed? Yes, I do. And what imbues you with that confidence? I think I'm, In certain positions, I think I'm great in bed. Which ones? It's like not the ones where it's like from behind. I feel like I don't have...

You have self-consciousness with that, right? You don't like to hit a reverse. You don't like to una reverse it. I don't have much clappable material, I don't think. Oh, honey. But like, no one does. But like, I would rather be like... I don't care.

I feel like men are just happy to be there. I give really good head. Right. Yeah. Great. And how do you know that? I just know that. Asking for a friend.

Me, like, I'm a virgin. Yeah, like you've never had a textbook. I'm literally, you're definitely crazy in bed. Oh, God. Really? You think? Yes. I just can tell.

I love that for me, that you think that. No, like, we'll get to that later. Anyway, back to why you're good with head. Good with head. That gives virgin, but I just, the way I just said that. I'm like, have you ever done weed? Have you ever done weed? You're good with head?

I don't want to help her. You're actually killing me. Yes, I just feel like I'm good with the head. His guys tell you that. Yeah, but like, I just know that I'm good with head. But now I'm saying the same words. You're not going to ever not say it. No, yeah.

I actually enjoy Giving Head, too, though, which is why I think good at. I feel like I get off on Giving Head. Right. Yeah. All right. Which is, like, it sounds extremely pick me. Enthusiasm. Okay.

You know what it sounds extremely pick me is I don't scroll. Yeah. So, hey, we're both in the same camp. No, yeah. I just feel like, I feel like there's something satisfying to me about someone enjoying something I'm giving them. I'm a charity. Yeah.

I'm philanthropist. You're a woman of the people. I'm giving back. You're giving back. Yeah. What was the last guy who got you down bad? I love why you're asking all these questions. No one's asked.

The last guy that got me down bad, like in my feels. Like, genuinely, where you were like, I don't even want to, like, put it online. Like, I'm upset. Yeah. Every guy that I like, I don't talk about him online. If I talk about you online, then it's a tell the tail sign. I don't like you. Oh, yeah.

That's kind of the math. Because I want to protect that part of my life. And I also don't want to piss him off. Yeah. Let me pause before we keep going there. Speaking of protecting that part of your life, have you ever had any thoughts about your social media and this podcast and everything that you've divulged here, potentially, like, getting back to someone that you were dating

and then not liking it? Or are you like, and this is what I think for you, which is that the man who, loves you wouldn't give a shit in the same way like with like Alex. Yeah. Yeah. And that's kind of like where you're at. Where Alex tells me too. She's like, it takes a very specific man to like be able to like put up with like what

you say online and like, you know, like the whole being a public figure of it all. And she found that. But like Matt. Totally. She's such an inspiration to me. I love her so much. No. I die for that bitch.

I love her. Back to the first question you asked though. Like with having this podcast. I'm very open about my sex life. I'm very open about who I'm walking up with and who I'm dating. But I don't ever really say names. But I think the way I talk about sex and stuff online does, like, hinder my dating life. Like, it has to at some point.

Because I'm just like, I think either guys are like, she's too open about it. I don't want to be talked about on the internet. Or the latter of that where it's like, I don't know a guy's intentions because, like, what if they, like, want to be talked about on the podcast? Do you kind of see that? Absolutely. And I mean, but you can think about it in another way, which is, this is your career. This is what you're funny at. This is what you're good at. And you think you're good at it? Yeah, I think you're great at it. And you know, it also hindered your dating life, not having a career.

Because you would be so desperate to find someone with money and now you've made your own thing. Yeah. And you've got it. So like, we pick our own paths in life for whatever reasons. I've certainly taken some serious, I've made some sacrifices to do what I do. 100%. It's different than what you do, but I still make sacrifices, you know? Being public, yeah. Being public, I travel constantly. I've not necessarily made myself available to relationships or vulnerability in the way that I might have if I had not done this.

But my God, like you chose something that was right for you. Yeah, I still think that. And I believe that. Come on. It's working. Yeah. But are you going to give that up so that you can potentially have a boyfriend and it'll probably cheat on you in 10 years? No, yeah.

What am I going to go about for a man? I don't like, I'm not going to do that. And I'm really passionate about this. And I was going through when I graduated college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I was kind of lost in life. And when I, this kind of found me, I didn't really look for it.

And like, I don't think I would, I think the sacrifices are worth it. Absolutely. 100%. Yeah. I think you made the right choice. More wine? More wine.

What was the second thing we were talking about? Oh, no, the tabs. No. The fucking tabs. Like, I should write me down. Okay, no, I wanted to ask you about who got you down bad. And we kind of get, get it. You don't want to talk about them?

No, I'll talk about it. Okay. Actually, I'm not going to name names, but like, I... Please don't. We don't need that. I'm going to ask you to name names. Name for name, bitch. Name for name for name.

But, like, I tend to go after people that are like the influencer type. And that's not what I should be going after. And I feel like... Why did it not work out? Why did it hurt your feelings? I think I just go after emotionally unavailable people. But instead of like recognizing that they're the problem, I kind of, I'm hard on myself. And I think that it's a me problem.

What do you think you go after emotionally unavailable people? Like I actually view you as somebody who has like such an innate self-esteem. Like you're like parented very well. You have a very strong family life. Like you have kind of an innate. and shakeable confidence. Yeah. Which allows you to do what you do.

And usually people like that don't end up going for... You seem like securely attached. Is that accurate or no? So I have a lot of insecurities, though. Like I've, you know, I've dealt with, like, eating stuff. I was like a chubber kid. And I've, like, fluctuated my weight a lot. And I still feel like sometimes I treat myself like a my fat kid, if that makes any sense.

So, like, when I'm in relationships, I feel like, well, now more so. So than ever, I'm in a point where, like, when I'm single and I'm kind of indifferent and I don't have a man that, like, is keeping me up at night. I feel like I'm the best version of myself. But when I like someone, I feel like I get kind of like tunnel vision. And it almost like brings my weaknesses to the surface. And I become like kind of a fucking loser. A loser like you're putting the emphasis on them.

Yeah. You're letting tunnel vision on them. Slide relationships go. Yeah. And people don't expect that from me. me. I think that's, I wouldn't have. Yeah. So, like, until I can get that under wraps, I don't think I want to. Are you trying to? Are you, like, doing therapy? I'm not doing therapy. I'm becoming more open to it. I didn't really believe in therapy for a while.

Are you a therapy? I am technically, but I've been ghosting her for about a month. Yes. That's what. And I actually think I'm going to pause for a while. Yeah. I'm not finding it helpful at the moment. I've been in therapy since I was 16, but I, I'm just, I'm finding it a little bit like a nuisance. Like every time it comes around on Friday morning, I'm like, ah, I actually have to go to the bodega instead of do this. It's like a work call. Weird. I have an appointment at the bodega. That's why I put it on pause because it was becoming something like it felt like a chore and it should feel like a release. And I was feeling like worse after, not better after. And I feel like I had a bad therapist. And therapist is like dating too. Like at the final one like to work and I just like

couldn't do it. But I should get a therapist. A nutritionist. I don't know. Maybe people are just telling you you should do this shit. What do you want to do? I just, I'm raw dogging life. How about that? Fuck yeah, me too. Yeah, not to bring it back to the condom thing, but like, I don't. Bring it back. I do think they're something. How about my sweat change right now? Like, they're feeling crazy. Oh, are you sweating? Look at that. What is that? Now, what is that? I didn't even notice that. No, but what is? New ours. It is hot in here. This is crazy. Look at his video. What the fuck? Look at him. Look at it. I just want you to know, you to know that. I know.

But this is crazy. We're talking about hot topics. Give me a different shirt. Can I have a jacket so I can speak freely with my arms? Can I have your jacket? Yeah, wait, I don't sweat. Wait, you look so good under there. I want that.

I want to sweat in your jacket. Okay. Because this is the first time this happened. No, I love this. Are you going to get even more warm, though? Yeah, but at least you won't see it. But I'm not warm. It's a nervous thing.

Why are you nervous? This has to be the easiest podcast. you've ever been on, ever. No, I mean, everything that I ever do that is public and important to somebody else makes me nervous. Like, I want this to be good because this is important to you. So we switch tops. Yeah, we switch tops.

It had to happen. How's this like? Do I look kind of like cool, like... Well, you look chic. I like this hair length. I'm kind of thinking I want to go blonde. You want to go back? I do like you blonde.

Like a little blonder, like dark root blonder. But I like your length. Do you want your... You want this back? No, I don't. You swear to go? I actually was really warm in that. Right.

But you're probably really warm now, too. No, it's not that I'm warm. It's that I'm sweating whether I'm warm or not. I don't sweat. Not too, that was Pick Me. That was... That was... That was Pick Me.

I'm sorry. It's not Pick Me. It's a fact. See, Pick Me is misdefined. What do you think Pick Me is? I think Pick Me is someone who is doing something that is explicitly in service of being chosen by a man. I think that if someone goes, I don't sweat, who's fortunate.

Yeah. It's not like a man gives a shit if you sweat or not. I'm just bragging. And if you actually thought about it, a girl who's like, I sweat all the time. Like, I don't care. Like, I fucking play football. Sweat.

Wait, that's a pick-me. That's more pick-me. I feel like you've made skits about, like, these types of things. I try not to go for the pick-me thing. I try to go more for bad writing. That's, like, what I'm trying to go out of. I really try to not ever have my contact. coming across as me going after women.

It's about men writing women poorly. Really? Yeah. I did not know that's what you're going after. Wait, I kind of love that. Your skits go so nuts online. Which is crazy and so exciting. And I love that and it never gets old.

My favorite one, because I was doing a deep dive on you as well, just so I hit all the parts of you. Which, by the way, like, all of them have, like, millions and millions of likes, these little skits. What was the one where like it was like the skateboarder? Oh my God, those years ago. That was, yeah, girl in every, no, I am hot. Sorry, girl.

You know, like, should we just live with it? Live with it. I have sweat stains. Pick me. You can just embrace it. Pick me. But also you would dark shirt, so it looks like a shadow. What does it look like to you?

But you do. You're lying. Oh, we hate you. He's fired. Yeah. Okay. I'm just kind of, what if I do my, arms like this. I hope you keep all this in right now.

No, yeah. This is what a real podcast is like. Okay. You want this back now? No, I think I'm, I feel better. You look hot. Yeah. You look really fucking beautiful. Okay, moving on.

That was kind of like my first round of really getting going with social media was girl in every movie who's like good with cars. Yeah. And then, but I've had so many second wins of the ones like success on, on social media, which is so amazing. I feel like insanely lucky about that because holy hell, it's like how long can you keep reinventing the wheel?

Yeah. And what I've realized at this point is it's not really about the concept, it's about the specificity of the writing. And the writing is so detailed and I really have just gotten so much better at it. Like, I just posted a video yesterday that will get a million likes.

And I am reading, like the feedback and it's like the writing is so good. Yeah. And it's not a new concept. I've been doing the same concept for a year. And I'm like, oh my God, if I can just focus on the thing that I think is really funny and really interesting and that and poignant. Yeah.

The poignancy is really what I'm trying to hit. I can sustain this for a little longer. Holy shit. I feel like you can always come up with some new like fun skit that's like she hit the nail in the head. Not always. I mean, think, tell me about your process of your content. You feel you're way more fast and loose.

I post like once a week. There's no structure to my shit. And I feel like if you looks back at all my content, I'm arguably redundant. Same. And people like try to clock you for being redundant. But like, why wouldn't I use what works? I agree. People will clock you for a lot of things on social media.

I have a lot of thoughts about criticism against social. social media figures. I think that there are your thoughts. There is like a real like innate generational desire to criticize people on social media because it is a different type of fame than film and television star down. It's not traditional. Let's say margot rabbi Emma Stone. They had to audition someone big and fancy had to choose them and they worked and worked and then became stars right in this way that is inaccessible for the lay person. Yeah. However, social media is stardom. Yeah. That platform is accessible to the lay person. So I think every time a social media person really makes it big, goes to host the Vanity Fair carpet, whatever, it mocks the

shadow self in every single person that goes, I have the same opportunity right here in my hand. It like pisses them off. It pisses them off. Wait, that is honestly like such a real outlook on it. Yeah. So like you could do if you, like you have an iPhone. You have an iPhone? You have an iPhone? You didn't do it. And you hate me because I did. Yeah. And you think that I don't deserve it because I took an opportunity that you didn't. Also, it's just like social media in general is such a new age, like, rise to stardom, like, in a way.

Yeah. And I think people are uncomfortable with that. Yeah. Which I understand. But there's a lot of undue hate. And I think people are going to realize what it is in them. And, like, I've really thought about it. But no, I think it's that.

It's that people are, it's a reflection on oneself for not taking. the same advantage of modern technology that has gotten us where we are. 100%. And also, I think the parasycialism of it all, like, if you are a social media person and you're giving people access to, like, your life in general, they just feel like you owe them something at some point. And they're like so quick to like, do you know what I mean? Yeah.

I've really shut that down. Yeah. I don't engage with that at all. Engage with that at all. I mean, I was in the grocery store a few weeks ago and a man came up to me and he really He was just like, you, you make those videos. Didn't even know my name, but he's like, but you're dating, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, fuck you.

And this was not like a child. This was like a 30-year-old man who seemed not drunk and completely normal. Yeah. And he said that. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. And then cheer the other man that I was literally with at the time, like coming up with the cart. Like, I was like, no, I'm not. You're like, no, I'm with this guy.

But, um, God. You know, and I wish I didn't even say, no, I'm not. I wish I had said, go fuck yourself. Yeah, I don't know you. Like, this is a really inappropriate thing for you to do. My best friend, Graydon, I think I talked about this before on here, but like, he's a gay man. And he has, like, a lot of girl fans and, like, all this stuff. I see a lot of these girls come up to him when they recognize him in public and they grab him and they touch him.

And they hug him and they just touch him because he's a gay man. I'm like, you can't touch him. He's a stranger to you. But because, like, he talks about, like, everything he does online, like, he's a gay man and he's open about that, whatever. They just think they can just, like, touch out of him. And I say, don't touch him. Good for you for saying that. And, yeah, I mean, it's probably hard for him to say that.

And probably he doesn't always hate it, right? Probably, like, sometimes it's okay. Yeah. But it depends, like, on the time of day or, like, where he's at. Because, like, sometimes people will touch me and it's okay. And I'm like, oh. Yeah, but if you, like, really think about it. Like someone you don't know.

That's like what makes it parisocial. It's like a psychology thing. It's going to be in psychology books one day. I swear to God. Yeah, it will be. And we'll have our own chapters. We get home. Chapter one, Delaney.

Chapter two, Hallie. Okay, where do you? Okay, so you go out like Chateau, wait, Chey Margot. Stop it. I'm a nerd. Chateau Bond. Yeah. Chateau Bond.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, do you think there's any overlap? between the guys who like you and the guys who would like me. Not a lot. That's a great question. I think, yeah, because I think we're both beautiful women.

First of all, well said. Second of all, it just like brings up something in me where like these places, right? The shame argos, the zero bonds. Gospel? Is that? Gospel? Yeah, I frequent. So, like, I don't really go to these places unless I'm brought there by a certain type of man, usually.

And that is a man. who I would describe as more of like a golden retriever, more of like a West Village boy. And these are men that I never seem to make it quite far with in terms of the dating, the relationship. I have like a wound in me that is like from high school and college that like I went to USC, right? So it's like I was not in a frat. Yeah.

Or sorry, a sorority. I was either. And so there was so much of me that would like watch these like, gorgeous girls, like running from their sororities, like, to class together and, you know, the hottest guys ever. And I just never was a part of that. And so, like, there's part of me that kind of wants to recreate that or, like, get that validation in adulthood now.

And so I kind of go for that. Yeah. Or I welcome that when a guy like that likes me. They're a fraudier type. Yeah. But I feel like, like, guys like that like you all the time. Yeah. Well, I don't know.

I have, like, different types of guys. I feel like that I attract. Most of them are, like, older. Mm. But... How old are we talking? Like, late 30s. Early 40s.

I was young. What has all this you guys? Woo! Nothing. Nothing. The oldest guy I've slept with, though, is in his early... Six days. You talking about it?

I was answering real. Have you ever hooked to anyone in their 60s? No. That's like if they're... Not this year. I'm kidding. If they're closer and aged to my dad, like, I can't. I don't put that together.

I try not to put that together. That's how I kind of look at it. I don't put that. I'd rather than be closer in age to me than my father. I think once I turned 30, I was like, all bets are off. I mean, yeah. I mean, well, you're 30. That's right.

I thought you were, like, my age 28. Well, same thing. But, like, is there really that big of a difference? There's this psychological difference. A little bit. Like, you shift. Like, I shifted in certain ways where I was kind of like, if I can split myself, if I can bifurcate myself, it's like me who is the actual Delaney. Yeah. And then the vision of myself as 30-year-old Delaney. How can I make this to kind of touch, right? So I really try to do that like every day with my decision making.

What would the girl who is your hero at 30 years old be doing right now? I should have that out look because I'm too busy at the afters. And I'm too busy not getting invited. You can always come to the office. I always feel like you're like interviewing on a carpet or something. Okay. So that's, okay, I've just come down on Jake and Connor. I was like, you guys never invite me to anything.

And they're like, we think you're busy. I'm like, no. Bullshit. Just invite me. I'm going to invite you even if you say you're busy. Pass the net. I'm going to cast the net from now on. Like, I have to at this point.

But I'm turning 30. next year. But you're 28? I turned 29 this year. When's your birthday? September. Mine too. Are you Virgo? 30th? Libra.

Oh, I'm Virgo. I'm September 8th. What does that mean? Virgo. I don't know. I don't know anything about psychology. That's... Wait. Astrology. There we go!

And there we go. I don't really know much either. I just know that Libras are like, chill. I've always loved a Libra. Yeah, like, we get along with, like, everyone. I don't really know anything about this. and I actually think it's all kind of fake. Yeah, I think it is. I think it's a way to excuse yourself

for bad or weird behavior at some points. Yeah, absolutely. You're like, oh, I'm a gentleman and I, like, I'm fucking psycho. Like, that's kind of how people, like, I don't really know if it makes sense. No, of course not. Okay, what did you do for your birthday last year? I hate birthdays.

I don't like the attention. Really? In like... I beg to differ. That's crazy because there's five cameras up right now. Like we're sitting in my set. But the attention of birthday and like thought of some bringing over birthday cake with like candles and singing happy birthday and everyone's looking and everyone like having to inconvenience themselves for me. I also feel like I kind of internalize birthdays in a way where it's like I'm getting a year older.

They kind of depress me. It's like one year closer to death. Perfect. Anyway. Perfect. Maybe we try to do. Maybe we. We, I need a work.

I need to. Maybe I should get a therapist. Take a page from my buck. Okay. Every year, it doesn't matter how insignificant the birthday is. I do something like really fucking great. What is you on your last birthday? On my 30th, I rented a house in Sagaponic.

Is that invite? I don't know if we... Oh, no, we did. We did. Sorry about that. It's okay. You know what? Next year.

I'm doing something really fun. I've already found. Thank you. Can I come? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And so I rented a house in Sagaponic that was big enough to hold like 15 people. And it was all my friends.

And I just cooked for everyone all weekend. I had games. Every night was themed. Yeah. And we had a basketball court. So I made everybody play a basketball game. I love basketball. It was like heaven on earth.

That sounds like nice. Yeah. I just, I'm like the type of girl that like I feel like if I threw a birthday party, like no one would come. I always feel that way. But I throw parties a lot. And then people come. And then you're like, okay, shit.

You didn't come to my Halloween party, but you came to that one party. I've come to two. Okay, great. You've been to my house? Yeah, I've been a couple times. I came to one after it was in the fall. After the round floor event. You were doing one with Jake, too.

That was the Halloween party. I think I came to that role. Did you? Okay, that was a really fun party. No, they were a role. That was the best party. Really, really fun. Wait, let's do like a little segment thing.

Oh, yeah, let's do a segment. I love a segment. Like, I feel like he would be really good at a segment. I, I am. He's a 10, but I'll read a prompt and you tell me what his new score would be after the prompt. Okay. Okay. He's a 10, but he's in a 6th floor walkup.

10. I feel you don't care about that. My ass gets tighter. You just did a 6th floor a walk up, walking him to this podcast studio. He's a 10, but he has an IMDB account, but no credits. Oh, 6. Six. Okay.

Okay. He's a 10, but he asks you to help him self-tape every Sunday night. Is he good? He's great. Ten. I don't care. I'm going to need him to help me. Yeah, it's giving work ethic, too.

He's a 10, but he wears a car harbini even when it's 80 degrees outside. It's giving bald. I'm like, is he a 10? Kind of dating that guy right now. Um, uh, four. Is that the guy you're dating right now? No, I don't know. Oh, here we go.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean. All right, he's a 10, but he shares a Netflix account with his ex, but they never talk. I don't care too much. Like, it's just, it's more of a function of laziness. Like, almost him being like, no, I won't. I am noble enough to change accounts. It's like, weirdly morpening.

Yeah, what are we doing? They don't care, whatever. We're fucking 10. Nine, nine. Nine. He's a nine and a half. He's a nine. He's a ten, but he is a sneaker head.

What's that? Like, he has a passion for sneakers. Oh, that. That's okay. I think he's a 12. Yeah, I'm going to be a 12. He's a 10, but he's sober. Ben, fuck off.

Like, I shouldn't be drinking so much. Fuck off. Sobermen love me. Great. They shouldn't, but. God, but they love me too. Yeah. I'm like, you don't know.

No, like, it's the recovered sober. No, I think that's like great. And I think an immature version of Delaney would have been like, four. But no. Fuck, no. Great. I think it's awesome.

Yeah. He's a 10, but he's a 10, but. as a podcast. Is it successful? It's very successful. But what if it's like a porn podcast? What's a porn podcast? I know someone with a porn podcast. What is a what is that? Like they just like review porn. I'm sorry. So he's a 10 with a successful porn podcast. That's what it is now. Yeah. Oh, then zero. I'm changing. I'm not okay. He's a 10, but he watches every single one of your Instagram stories within five minutes. Ten.

Twelve. Yeah. He gets bonus points for that one. He's a 10, but he's estranged from his family. 10. Marshall. No, that's, I'm down. I'm down.

Who cares? Poor boy. Come on. Come to my family. We'll have you at the dinner table. He's a 10, but he's an only child. He's a 10, but he has no friends from high school. 10.

Actually, like, yeah, 12. He's a 10, but he hasn't been to the doctor since college. Seven. That's like he might, yeah. We need to go the doctor. Comedia. Chlamydia, yo. That's getting tested.

I mean, we've all got comedia. Except for me. Is that you think? He's a 10. You're saying something. No, I've had comedia, but clear it up, you know. Call me. The chillest.

The chillest. Yeah, you're just taking a TikTok for 10 days near fire. He's the 10, but he makes under 100. Okay. Ben, I feel like you make enough bag for... Oh yeah, I don't give a shit. Never give a shit about that. You don't care much money a guy makes? I do. No, not at all. And I hate that, I do, but I do. Not at all. And I'm... I want a comfortable life.

I want to go back to the game, but I do want to talk about this. I have never felt that way, but every woman in my life does... And I don't fault them for this. I understand why women would put a premium on that. I want to know why you do personally. I don't really care about it. I do fine for myself. But, like, I just, like, want a comfortable life. I'm with Bahamas.

I don't want it to be on my dime. Well, you're very in your feminine. But in so many ways, you're actually so in your masculine. Do you feel like you're in your feminine and you're masculine? Like, as... What do you mean by that? Like, what is feminine versus masculine? So someone in their feminine is really, like, available to a masculine energy contributing

to her happiness, her lifestyle, her hoisting her up, making her a better woman. And then someone in their masculine is more interested in dominating a more feminine energy by giving and constantly providing and comforting and really just putting in more of a biological effort.

like that is the difference. I don't know what I'm in. But I don't know. I think you sitting back and being like, man, I want to go to behind someone. That's pretty feminine. I want to be a,

I want to make my own money. Once I started making money, like at first when I started, like before I even started social media, I was like, I just want to meet a rich husband and just kind of like chill and not work. But after I started making my own money,

I kind of like that feeling. I like having what's mine, having like my own business and brand, And like, totally. And that's fair. I don't want to take care of a man, is what I'm trying to say. Fair enough. Like I, yeah.

Does that make me masculine or feminine? That makes you feminine. Feminine, all right. And that's very sexy to a lot of man. Men, to a lot of men. To a lot of man. That do the wheat. I'm good at, what did we say?

Good at, um, doing head. I'm good at the head. I'm good at the head. I'm good at the head. I'm good at the head. I heard. All right. Let's go back.

He's addicted to Pinterest. Oh, no. Addicted. Lucky's a problem. Four. Four. I once, like, dated a guy who was like, I just got the most amazing rug for my house.

And I was like, I'll never fuck you again. Oh, yeah. Like, don't, just get the rug and put it in the house. Don't tell me that you got the most amazing rug. Yeah. Like, why do you give a fuck about a rug? Stop saying that. And he got on, like, Etsy or something.

Yeah, like, fuck. Cheers. I don't even want to imagine you browsing. For rugs. That's like a new ick. I didn't know I needed. All right. Talks during movies.

How much? Like the whole time. Oh, okay. Actually, near seven. Yeah, that would be annoying as fuck. He also just sounds like he's not socially,

like socially aware or self-horred. Or that he's like trying to check in on how I'm feeling the whole time. Like he's insecure. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, fuck that. It's five. Yeah.

Fuck him. He's zero. He prefers nights in to nights out. Fucking 50. Really? Because you like to go out. Yeah, but I got out with my girls. You can be home waiting. Oh, yeah. I like that.

I don't want a guy who's like, I got boys night ago. That's like one of my biggest egg. Shut the hell up. Like, that's for the girls. Yeah. So you're gay. So you're gay. I've slept with a lot of gay men.

Have you? How do you know that? Did they come out as gay later or you knew that they were gay when you did it? They're like bye. Mm-hmm. and like to me cancel yourself do it right now

fucking do it say where you're gonna fucking say cancel your ass yeah I know where you're going with this yeah cancel her ass you knew exactly

what I was gonna say yeah exactly you're gonna say don't say it don't say it moving on I'm obsessed to you I want you to be my co-host

I'm gonna be my co-host could be yours huh she said it I cut that you fucking said it don't cut it bleep the whole thing.

Yeah, clip that. Yeah. Well, you bleed the whole thing and just, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You being like cancer. I love a prolonged bleep. That's funny. A prolonged bleep.

I'm like getting drunk off your fucking organic wine, yo. I'm fucking, yeah. I'm feeling it. Loving it. Okay. He prefers to subway to Uber. Ten. Of course.

Come on. Man who knows how to fucking rip on the subway. I'm hot. That's hot. A man who takes an Uber, little prissy bitch. Fuck you. No.

Take this fucking. fucking subway. I've never taken the subway. Yes. I'm gonna take you on the subway. I'm gonna take you on the subway. I'm gonna take you on the subway. And it's gonna be like the worst subway ever.

It's gonna be like a shooter on the subway and it's gonna terrify you. Yeah, it's gonna absolutely traumatize you. It's gonna be like the worst subway for some reason and it's gonna not work. But I'm gonna try. I'm gonna take your ass on the subway to shake my girl. Let me tell you, sir,

this guy was coming in from Long Island to come see me. So he goes, hi, my train was delayed. But like when I come downtown to see you, like, can I take the AC or D train to like come meet you? And I was like, you're like ACD, love them. I go wait. I go with ACs broken on the train. Is that why it's delayed? He was like, what?

Yeah. It's okay. Look. If there were to be an attack on the train, they would come from me first. I'm like, I look like I could be pushed into the subway. You've literally never taken the train? I've taken it twice. Okay.

What'd you think? I didn't like it. You didn't like it. That's right. So don't take the train. I also don't understand where it goes. Well, it, it, it'd be going up and down, town. How do you get from east to west?

He used to get off a train to go into the next one? So, like, my biggest issue where I live is trying to go east. That's a little harder. So I just, I kind of fuck it and I walk. You walk? What if you're wearing a house? I've walked sometimes. Right.

When it's one. Twice. I've walked twice. Look, whatever. Fuck everyone. Do what makes you comfortable. Fuck everyone. Do what makes you comfortable.

Yeah. You want to finish the one. Yeah, that's right. I think I could do it. I love you so much. And this has been just like deeply special. No, like honestly, we got in some deep conversations. We got some deep conversations.

We got some deep. We got some laughs. We had some giggles. We got some sexy time. I was a little bit worried that like I wouldn't give you enough sexy time, but I gave you a little sexy time. No, like I've gone a lot less off the sexy time. because I've been told, like, I've been, like, not so brand safe.

So I've been trying to, like, brands need to be less safe. How about that? Like, 10%? And I feel like that, that's what you're seeing. All right, let's chug. And then. Wait, I have more than you, but let's make, like, a game out of this.

Can we do, like, a sipper? Like, a, like, a drink game real quick. Yeah. Do you do one of this? Or, like, a drink or, like, a drink. If you don't want to answer, you drink. Okay, yeah. You ask me first.

Okay. Who's the most famous person who's, like, into your DMs. Why are you looking at your fake publicist? She ain't here? Yeah, I can't say that. Who's the most famous guy you've slept with? Um, Robert Redford. Who's that? He's dead. I'm kidding. It's obviously a joke. I can't say. I'm asking you questions you can answer. You go next. I'm going to try to like make this one that you can answer. I'm going to try to get you. Okay. Okay. What's your most self-care routine.

What's a humiliating self? Like, things I get done to my face? Like, you put like a fucking, you know, you do a colonics. I do, like, think I abuse laxatives heavily. Shit. No pun intended. Shit. Fuck yeah.

All right. So I drink for that one. Thank you for your honesty. No, yeah. The chelder. Not like laxatives, but like natural things that, like, strip all the toxins. Yeah. On your body, yeah.

Sure. Well, actually, it's like a gut cleanse I got on TikTok shop. Great. Perfect. Right. Hit me. What is the most embarrassing night out you've ever had? Oh, easy. I was at a place called San Vicente Bungalow when I was a child, a child meaning about 23 years old.

And I had just joined this members club in Los Angeles. I somehow ended up in this world win of a night where I was with a bunch of famous people and I was such a fucking loser. You know, I did something really embarrassing where I ended up in a car with a person who was in movie musicals. Yeah. And I was up front and I had the ox. And we were all drunk and it was fun. And I thought it would be really funny to play like his hit song that he sings on the movie musical on the ox.

And was it like, Zach Ephraim was a musical? No, I'm not going to tell who it is. I plugged it in and it went and I was just like, this is going to hit. Like you thought it was going to be. And he was pissed. No, no. He was not pissed. He just, like, didn't really acknowledge it.

He just kind of looked out the window. But the other people in the car were like, too, you're not picking up the vibe. And then the guy who was tired was like, you're like unplug the ox and he put it in his own music. And I was like, I'm not one of you. Did you have scariest the next day? For years.

You still have scariest. I'm having them right now. For years. So not. Great. Anyway, so you drink. No, you have to drink. I said it.

Oh, that's how it goes? That's how it goes. That's how it works. Read the last text from a guy who means something to you. I think Zach Bia, his last text was Chala. Like, he's my friend. That's why he means something to me. Me and Zach Bia don't make out yet.

But like, he's my friend. He said chala. Whoa! All right. I'd say I'll dig for. You had the drink. We're going to chela. I'm so excited.

Chala. We're going to tell. The most off-brand thing about me is that I'm going to Coachella. What are you going with? go and I make money and I don't go to any concerts. I go to the parties. I, you know, get laid in a cabana and I go home. That's why I like you.

What's your body count? Oh, goodness. Okay, flash your abs. Oh, I just like, come up. Nice. Okay, I'm ready? What's the most money you've made on a brand? $250,000.

Was it the wipes? No. Wipes is near that, though. It's a clothing adjacent brand for like, I'm not going to say the brand, but garage does pay really well, and I love garage. You look really hot in their clothing. They have great. It's like tank air material. It's great.

Posts were great. The most expensive thing you've ever bought in for yourself, and what was the price tag on it? Oh, well, the house that I went to, hosted my 20, or. or my, like my 23rd birthday. My 30th birthday at, that was an excessive purchase for four days. Okay. And that was a treat for myself for 30.

You got to give yourself a birthday present. Yeah, that was a lot of money. Okay. I took to that. I still have like, no, don't finish it. I have like one more. I just don't want this to end. No, I don't.

I'm like, obsessed with it. We can prolongate this as much as you want. Like, we have to do this again. Name a New York influencer that you've. I can't. I can't, I can't. All right, one more question each. Yeah, one more.

We're right there. We're at the drags. What is your least favorite skincare brand? I don't have, I don't know. Right. What I have to. What the fuck? I'm like, I'm like, how many times do you have a comedian?

And you're like, do you love, um, uh, Nutragina? What's your least favorite? I'm like, what's your least favorite season? No. Right. Who is your celebrity crush? Oh my God. Joe Allen or Sebastian Stan.

That's a two-fer. We got a blonde and we've got to bring that. Hit her up. So that means you drink. What is the, like, not nastiest, but genuinely grossest thing someone has done to you in bed. Like, like, nastiest and freakiest? No, no, no, no.

That's what I'm saying. It's not bad. It is, like, gross. Like, you're like, ew. I don't know, but there is, like, something I would say, ew. Has any... When you farted? Oh, yeah, I'm one in your face.

My ex-boyfriend, like, once he was finishing, and as he was finishing, he exploded farting, and he couldn't stop either. So it was, like, coming out of both ends almost. That's probably the grossest. I still dated him. Sorry, he couldn't stop farting. He was finishing, but he couldn't like clench his up farting.

So it was like, ah, I'm shooting. And then the ass is going. Yeah, and I'm just like, kept farting. Yeah, that was probably the gross. This is the best night of my life. Yeah. How about you? This is literally the best night of my life.

Well, Delaney, I love you. Thank you for coming on here. I love you so much. I'm like tipsy now. I'm like, we drink a bottle of wine. All right, guys. I hope this is like a really fun. No, this is going to be like one of my best episodes.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love her. And I love you and I love this podcast and I think that you're a fucking star. That's my girl.

All right. Anyways, guys, love you. I'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.