Extra Dirty with Hallie Batchelder - Worst s*x advice on Reddit & your juicy confessions

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

This week on Extra Dirty, Hallie serves up a beautiful, gorgeous, and sexy solo episode packed with unhinged stories, tough-love rants, and listener chaos. She shares her giggle attack on magic chocolates, questions why her hips hurt after a wild weekend, and breaks down the key differences (and men) of Nantucket vs. The Hamptons. Hallie reacts to the worst sex advice on Reddit—calling out double standards, defending women making the first move, and unfortunately learning about earwax kinks—before handing out Kindness & Rue to friends, brands, and even her middle school teacher. Then it’s on to your most batshit submissions, from scheduling a boss’s affairs to an NBA footjob, crashing a boyfriend’s car on purpose, and an allergic reaction from kissing. Sprinkle in thoughts on letting a guy miss you, the logistics of fisting, and a whole lot of pookie energy, and you’ve got a Hallie classic. Follow @extradirty on socials and don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review to keep the stories flowing and the siblings oversharing. 💋

When I'm a mom, I wonder what I'm going to be telling my daughters. I'm going to be cursed with, like, four, like, slutty daughters, I already know. And they're going to be like, mom, and I'm like, when I was your age, babe, like, don't even ask. Also, don't. I hope this, like, podcast is, like, unwatchable when they're, like, oh, God, imagine my kids watching the show. Oh, my God. What are you, little freaks? Okay, guys, I'm doing something really stupid right now.

We have an emergency debrief situation. Hi, this is Hallie from the streets of New York. Guys, I had every intention of staying in last night. Okay, what's up, you sexy little muffin? Welcome back to Extra Dirty. It's me, Hallie, just sitting here alone again. But you know what? I like these solos.

I talk about all the time. I could talk to myself for hours. And sometimes after these solos, I'll get home and like literally just be talking to myself for hours. And be like, fuck, this would have been great for the show. But anyways, I am coming off a long weekend in the Hamptons. Let me just tell you, the Hamptons is not for the week. I thought Nantucket wasn't for the week. Montauk and the Hamptons is not for the week.

The debauchery you got up to was unmatched, and I was scared in lots of moments. We went to Surf Lodge, which honestly, like disclosure was playing at a grand old time. I don't typically like that kind of music in the lights flashing make me feel like I might have like a seizure but I was viving and somehow I got my hands on some magic chocolates and I'm not a big magic chocolate type of girl I don't like being out of control of my own body which may shock some people like when you look at me I think you think of this girl fucking parties and does everything under the sun it's not the case I don't like things that kind of alter my brain chemistry for the most part but i accidentally slipped a little chocolate into my system and i thought

it was just like it had salt on it it looked like a beautiful chocolate caramel that was just looking at me in the eye it looked like a little sweet treat so what did i do i got my hands on it and took the whole bar not the whole bar but the whole square all of a sudden i swear like the walls started moving like my phone literally looking at my text I look at my phone I go holy fuck it looks like I could grab into my phone and pull out the words and then dangle them in someone's face that's what like my text thread looks like and then we went out and I was freaking the fuck out internally I couldn't stop laughing I had the giggle attacks and I was dying laughing everyone's looking at me like I was a fucking crackhead I swear there was like ecstasy in it because

Every time someone would brush up against my arm, I felt literally everything. I swear there was ecstasy in it. But it's kind of fun. I like to do it again. I like the tail end of it. I did not like the first hour. Literally, I remember, I think Miles Teller was like at the table next to us. And I just remember being like, I can't get up.

I can't sit up. I didn't even see them because I couldn't see anything. Everyone looked like Legos, shapes. I felt like I was in Roblox. Everyone looked like buildable Legos. And then my brother called me because I was like, I'll get you in, like come join us at the table. Like there's room. And then I go up to the front and he somehow got in some altercation, not altercation, but like he was arguing with one of the bouncers.

There's something that happened when I wasn't there. And I was like, can he come in? It's just him. He's alone. He goes, no. He's on something and he can't come in. I go, well, can I have some, like, what's going on? Are we all on something here?

Like, he was not having it. He's like, you can get the fuck out of here too. Bouncers freak me out, especially the ones in New York, or like the extension of New York being the Hamptons. They all just have this, like, weird, like, chip on their shoulder. It's almost like an ego thing. I'm like, why are you yelling at me? I'm not yelling at you. I didn't even say anything bad.

So Chad was really mad. He had to walk away. But we ended up having a really fun night. But I'm definitely still feeling it today You know when you party so hard And you're like sore And you're like why you're sore Why do my hips hurt

I bruises all over my legs Probably because I have low iron But like I like what was I up to I want to know Like my bruises tell the story Did I fall, did I slip Did I hook up with someone random? Like I need to know

But anyways it was fun I've only been out to Montauk Like two times the summer This trip was more work related You know A brand wanted me to stay out there for Sunday night and I was like I'm not going to go all the way out there for one night that's insane so I ended up staying a full weekend at one of my friends houses and I got to say I was probably

like top three weekends of the summer people always ask me the difference between Montauk and the Hamptons versus Nantucket and I'm like Nantucket the Hamptons it's like almost uncomparable I feel like Nantucket is like, there's only one town center. Nantucket's 12 miles by 14 miles. So there's one town center. You can't like buy tables there. It's like an elevated bar scene, I would say. And I also compare it to like an extended country club.

Like it's very like family oriented. I feel like people don't really go to be seen there. I feel like almost people go to like hide there and be like chill and like go to the beaches and like be like more like lax. The Hamptons, I feel like you go to be seen. And you buy tables, get fucked up, you can get bottle service, it's senior. I would say the party scene is better. The food, I feel like is probably better, too.

I feel like the food on Nantucket, it's like, okay. Like, there's a couple good places, but it's not, I wouldn't like go to Nantucket for the food. They have some good lobster rolls at some spots, but it's not crazy, I would say. The men, Nantucket versus the Hamptons, definitely the Hamptons. I feel like there's a lot more action going on out there. for men and like just having like a variety of men to pick from the fucking men on i talk at our beat it looks like an ad for lulli politzer or sparries and we've talked about this before i do not like sparries man i don't like tucked in shirts with the belt the men there look too clean and

buttoned up like i need some more tattoos like some like jewelry i don't know some like edginess like all those men look just too nice for me like i would like i would eat them a lot of like Jennifer's body style. Like I need a little bit more of like a toxic man. I feel like you can find that in the Hamptons. The men on Antarctica are all, I might, they're secretly gay, I think. I know Grindr pops off there according to Graydon. That's what he's told me.

I just think the man on Antarctica aren't for me. But I'm going on a rant now, which leads me to my next segment. Like, let's go on a rant for a hot second. I thought for this next segment, I would. you know go on rants on things that you should send to your friends they're all going to be different and send them to your friends when they need like a little pep talk or something or they just need a slap in the face via me via these clips so let's get into it send this to your friend who has anxiety right now anxiety is a state of mind and i feel like placebo effect

the only way to think you are not hung over is to convince yourself you're not Get up. Get outside. Get a Diet Coke. Get a dildo. Touch some grass. FaceTime your best friend. Don't text your ex. Put on reality TV. Binge watch Love Island. Binge watch any reality TV. You know, take an edible maybe. I mean, that's not really my thing, but I hear it does wonders. Okay? But do anything besides convince yourself that you're hungover. If you tell yourself and if you're telling other people, people, hi, I'm hungover. Your body is going to think you are. But if you say hi, I'm fine, I don't, I'm not, I'm literally fine. Then you're not going to be hungover. People ask me all the time, Hallie, do you get hungover? I don't understand you always seem so not down bad.

It's because I look in the mirror every time after I drink and I say, you are not the H word. Hungover, you're not it. It's not going to get me today. Hangovers fear me. I don't fear them. They don't want to fuck with me. And that's what I tell me. myself and that's on god also i feel like any favorite cheat meal hungover uber eats meal could cure any symptom for me i have a few that i circulate through one of them for some reason chicken pot pie i don't know why a chicken pot pie in the like in the winter time that cures me soup dumplings with some like noodle situation some chicken terriaki very good

also Chipotle Chipotle always just like hits the spot I feel like hangover meals have to have like a lot of grease in them to like soak up all the alcohol there's like a science behind that

I'm pretty sure and five guys I feel like five guys just always does the trick do like a single patty cheeseburger and those Asian fries fuck me this fuck up

sideways that sounds really good right now honestly and I'm not hungover I'm two days sober so I'm going to Lollapalooze it tomorrow that's not going to last very much longer okay next one send this to your friend who is hung up on a situation ship babe same we're sisters in this okay but like the only way to like get over a situation ship is to like sack the fuck up okay look in the mirror and say you're a bad bitch

and get over it we're not getting hung up over men this day and age they're literally just penises with body parts that are attached to it men are fucking dumb Anytime I hung up on a situation ship, I literally asked my friends to slap me across the face because I just like men are just, ugh, I can't. I can't. Also, I usually am like so damn bad over a situation ship. And then the next day I'm like, was I okay? Like someone like have a pulse check on me because there's no need. The thing about situationships is there's situations because he's making it one probably. Like even if you're locked in on this man and he's giving him a signals. I always say this. You don't want to be telling your future kids down the road like,

oh my God, remember when like daddy was like really fucking shitty to me? The man you're supposed to be with long term, you're never going to have to question. And I always save that standard for a man, which is why situationships, yes, they suck in the moment, but they're going to be easier to get over. Like this is not the man. Like this is not the man of your dreams. This is not a man you want to bring home to your dad or your parents or your brothers. Like, no, this man is gross. So get the fuck over him right now. Okay, next.

Send this to your friend who doesn't want to go out to happy hour on a Friday. Girl, we're like in our 20s and we only live once. And you're hot and like it's summer and you can wear that cute little outfit that you just got. This is our prime. We're in our peak. Our bodies are tight. Our skin is clear. Our skin is glowy.

We want to flaunt that on the streets. Okay? You're not going to find a man sitting inside watching Real Housewives, although that sounds ideal to me. I like the sound of that, but it's impossible unless you're really avid on the dating apps, which I am, but like it's not working for me. Fuck. But anyways, get out there, look cute, put a full beat on, do your hair, and meet a boy at a dive bar, babe. We only live once. Okay, the man of your dream is going to be at the bar tonight.

So go out with your girlfriends and look cute. Okay, send this to your friend who's been itching to text her ex. Itching to text her ex. As long as the ex hasn't been the one making you itch, then I guess I understand this. But, girl, we need to stop texting our exes. Because why haven't our exes texted us? Okay. Don't be the one to send the first text.

Snap the fuck out of it. There's so much dick in the world. What are we doing being hung up over? anyone like literally there's so much dick in the world you go to starbucks dig you go to 7-11 dig you could go to the gym dig you go to the beach dick like there's so much dick okay there's dick you know everywhere marshall liked that one I'm just saying like what are we doing that's why like I don't get that hung up over guys it's just because I'm like I'll find another one to torture me I like I don't know I don't even think about texting my

exes anymore. Both of my exes that I've like dated seriously, I'm like, I wouldn't even look at them sideways. You know, if I were to walk past them on the street right now, I'd be like, oh, next. I don't really think about them that much. It just sucks in the moment, but like you'll get over it. I promise you, you will get over it. Life's going to throw a lot of curve balls at you and a lot of balls in general, actually. Your ex will be the least of your worries at some point in time. Okay? There's, you'll be okay. Babe, I promise you. Send this to your friend who hasn't got laid in months. Babe Seema.

What's going on? There's a pandemic. I don't know what's happening. I don't know where they're hiding. But if you find out where they are and where they're residing in the tunnels and the bushes, I don't know where the fuck they are. But let me know, DM me and I'll come with you and we will like find them together. But no, it's okay.

I've been honestly saying this recently and maybe it's because I haven't gotten late in a few months it's okay to take breaks and it's good to take breaks it's really good I think it's good for the mental to take breaks you don't need dicks coming like out of your ears inside of all the crevices of your body at all times

that's not healthy okay I don't think my health insurance covers that anyways we'll be okay I think a break is good and you're hot and don't worry about it but like also like we need to get back out there okay let's go to the bars staying in is not going to do his justice okay but you'll be fine i also would say like put yourself out there 100% but also like don't stress about the fact that you haven't gotten

late at months and like jump the next guy you like jump his bones like the next random guy you see on the street just because you haven't gotten late in months like we don't need to be adding random tallies to our body count just for the funzies of it so just be patient with yourself when it's supposed to happen it's supposed to happen but also like make sure you're putting yourself out there and not like hiding under a rock in your apartment you know but like do you babe okay next segment

let's get the fuck into it motherfuckas okay I'm gonna read an article worst sex advice from Reddit the R word I'm triggered and I feel like I'm gonna throw up right now never take any advice from Reddit unless it's a fucking recipe I always say that

I don't look on Reddit I have my friends look if I'm getting like weird story views if they're like higher than usual and I get anxiety I'm like can you look and just make sure like there's no nudes on there or if there's something like crazy

that's going down like but if that's not the case I don't look anyways I'll look for this fucking worst sex advice Reddit article because it's my job to yap on this podcast and here we are

okay eight of the worst sex tips from Reddit The first is if you sleep with more than five guys, you're going to wake up one morning when you're 35 and hate yourself. Babe, what? No. Is this even sex advice? Because, no, that's just like a mom being a mom. But when I'm a mom, I wonder what I'm going to be telling my daughters. I'm going to be cursed with like four, like, slutty daughters, I already know.

And they're going to be like, mom, and I'm like, when I was your age, babe, like, don't even fucking ask. Also, don't. I hope this, like, podcast is, like, unwatchable when they're like, oh, God, imagine my kids watching this show. Oh, my God. I'm going to have to put, like, parental control on all their fucking phones. Hopefully you don't get bullied in school. But anyways, if you sleep with more than five guys, you're going to be fine. Once I slept with more than five guys in one weekend, and I live to tell the story,

and I'm okay. I feel like shit happens. And it builds lore, and it also builds community, okay? Sometimes these friend groups be looking good. This is horrible advice, though. I feel like it's crazy this day and age for a body count for a girl to be, like, less than five. And, like, no hate if it is less than five. I feel like that's really respectable.

But, like, if I'm going to respect your low body count, don't disrespect my high body count. Okay? It goes both ways. That's a double fucking standard. I'm not going to call you a prude, but, like, don't call me a fucking slut. And if you do, I'm not going to take offense to it. I'm probably going to say thank you. Next.

I just saw this Love Island thing where they do a body count challenge. I think I've talked about this on here before. And they were talking about it was just funny. And it's just like such a crazy double standard to me because they were just going through the lineup and all these girls were like, my body count six. Like I could never go on that show for this reason because my body count is not six. And all the guys were like, oh, fuck, bro. It's so bad. And I'm like, wait, you're all fucking weird for that.

Like, why do you care? Everyone has a past. That's what I tell myself anyways. But if a guy at a body count that was like 100, I'd be like, okay. whatever maybe that's something wrong with me but i don't know okay next one pee inside the girl after you finish but before you pull out so you don't have to use a condom wait let me reread this this is fucking nuts pee inside the girl after you finish but before you pull out so you don't have to use a condom the ammonia in your urine will neutralize the sperm babe did you go to sex ed

no this is weird and a weird fucking fetish and you're a weird freak for this I've heard of this too with like anal, like pee in their ass. But like don't do that, please. Get your pee away from me. Go to the bathroom, you weirdo. I don't believe that is how biology works. This seems like bad advice. And for any young girl watching this, if a man tells you that peeing inside of them will neutralize it

and that you don't have to use a condom, no, they just don't want to use a condom. And they're being weird freaks. And they just, I mean, like, I get condoms like. don't feel as great, but like if you're not on birth control, it's like the safer way. Anyways, neck. His explanation was that he didn't know it was also frustrating for a woman to have all the buildup without a release. He didn't know sex doesn't end after the man comes.

This is a kid 16? Like, what the fuck? This man essentially thinks that sex is over when he comes. Who wrote that somewhere? Like what in the sex Bible? I don't think that's the case, babe. This is why you should also, I feel like, yes, maybe it's harder to make a girl finish. It takes longer, but there's definitely a lot more build up and a lot more release, in my opinion,

but I'm also not a man with man part. So, like, I don't also know the answer to that. But this is why you should always make it, like, it's a generous thing to make a girl finish first before you finish or after you finish. Even if you have post-out clarity, the gentleman thing is to also make the girl finish. This is a two-way street, babe. Why do you get to only one? Like, what?

Why are you the only one that gets to have fun? That's not how that works. I would never talk to this motherfucker again, and he will root. He's on my rule list. Whoever wrote this in. This is dumbass. This is why I don't trust Reddit. This got me fired up.

I'm like, honestly, like, getting hot in here because looking at that, that pissed me off a little bit. Next one, never make the first move or the second or the third. Guys will think you're desperate. No. Are these, like, teenagers writing these. in like it literally seems like it i think making the first move as a girl in 2025 is fucking hot because these men are fucking lame and they can't make the first move they're a bunch of pussies that are scared of my fake tits so sometimes you have to make the first move like these

men are intimidated which is fine but like i hate this double standard that like a guy should always be making the first move it makes no sense like go up to a guy and say hi i don't think it's the end of the world. I don't think it's desperate either. It's a stupid piece of advice. Is this segment meant to piss me off? Because it is. Had an army buddy tommy test whether girls in STD or not by fingering her with earwax on his finger.

He said if it caused her pain, she had one. I'm speechless for the first time ever. Like, what? Is this a thing? I mean, I don't even know how to react to that. How does he get her earwax? Also, like, if a guy were to be like, I need your earwax to stick it in you to test whether or not you have an STD, I would be like, get the fuck out of my apartment. Like, what?

This seems like also like it would cause an STD or like at least like BV or like this seems it would cause like a yeast infection. If a guy wanted to stick wax in my fucking vagina, I would be like, no, shove an umbrella in your ass, you fucking weirdo. Maybe call me old-fashioned, but I just feel like, get tested, go to an urgent care? That's what I do. When I get with a fucking sketchy guy, I go straight to urgent care. And then I get Starbucks, and then I get like, you know, that's how I start my day after a sketchy guy. But I would never let a man do this, and this is horrible advice. Anyways, next, my friend was telling me about a time she went to a cute guy's place to hook up.

While on his bed with minimal clothing, he looks his hand and says, slaps her badge. It killed the mood for her and she left. I don't know if this is really advice, but this is crazy. This guy sounds like a jokester and maybe he thought that was funny and cute and like a giggle moment. But if I'm like bringing a guy home and he like slaps the fuck out of my puss, he's getting a slap across the face and his dick is not getting wet ever. That kind of pissed me off. Maybe I'm just in a pissy mood today. They're saying they got this from porn. And I always say like porn kind of or desensitizes men, I think, in ways. Because porn, although I love my fair share of porn,

the porn I watch is fucking scary. And, you know, maybe this could probably fit into some of that category, but it's not real life, you know. It's not like what real sex is. It's like glamorized almost and produced. It's like a production. It's like you're putting on an act almost. So I feel like it kind of desensitizes people's, like thoughts and views on what sex should look like. So if They're getting this from porn, they should put down the fucking computer a little bit. I mean, it's just like not real. Also, I feel like if you're hooking up with someone for the first time and they slap you in the pus, that's kind of like a no-go in my books.

Unless, like, kind of like some form of like consent given, like that's not funny or cute and he should be taken off the streets. Okay, pop rocks and blowjob, never again. I've actually, I think I've done this. I've done stuff of pop rocks. Very young. like when I was like my 15 16 17 I think it's fun to spice it up I wouldn't say that's horrible advice the only thing with pop rocks is it's sticky after it pops and melts I think it's more fun for

like a makeout situation but like after you get that shit all of your dick and you're like trying to sit on it no you're gonna get stuck to him and it like might give you yeast infection because of all the sugar that's going on there I just think maybe it's best to avoid unless you're like hopping in the shower after or cleaning off or doing a good job with that but like if you have to like stop after giving a blowjob with pop rocks to get in the shower clean up it could be a bit of a mood killer so I get that maybe that could be bad advice but I think it's kind of hot and certain like it's like me fun like an ice cube ball giving head is fun hot wax I think those are fun elements to introduce when having sex sometimes but like this is not like the biggest no go to me

okay guys that was a fun segment but like honestly don't take any advice from reddit ever it's a bunch of bullshit and i would not be taking my sex tips from reddit like no decline anyways let's go on to our next segment which is going to be kindness and who am i spreading kindness to today and who will fucking rue for eternity and days to come let me just tell you i'm going to start with i'm going to spread kindness my friend Hunter. Hunter, that beautiful, sexy man I stayed with all weekend. He's one of my good friends. He let me stay at his East Hampton home and that was just really nice of him because he didn't have to do that. He didn't have to put up with my bitch ass all weekend. And he's just such a dear friend and I love him and we had such a fucking fun weekend. And I hope to do it again with him sometime,

sometime soon. Maybe not in the summer though because I will be recovering from that Montauk weekend until I'm like 32 but whatever we had a good time and I love him and if you're watching this I love you and you're sexy and I wish you were straight anyways who will rue who I'm fucking roo there's this one brand I'm not going to say who it is they're going to rue because they won't work with me because I'm not brand safe what the fuck about me is not fucking brand safe you motherfuckers dumb pieces of motherfucking shit I didn't even want to work with your brand anyways I'm not bitter anything, unlike your fucking drink, but like, I'm not bitter, but yeah, you're gonna rue and you will fucking eat your words eventually.

Who also rue? My history teacher in seventh grade that caught me plagiarizing and wouldn't let me go on the school whaling trip because she made me rewrite the whole fucking paper. I didn't know at the age of 11 that copy and pasting and changing minimal wording was plagiarism. I was doing the Googling. I did the work. I googled. It was a tough lesson, but you didn't have to lock me inside the classroom and make me miss class activities. So I had to rewrite the whole paper while you watched over me making sure everything was footnoted. It was really a footnoting issue.

Oh, you know Walseru, that teacher from my high school that just got arrested for being a fucking pervert? Like, cut the shit. What's up with these fucking perverts? Lingering at all girls Catholic schools. What are you doing? You're a fucking weird perv. You're going to rue. Who also roo? The passport companies? It's very difficult. I am a smart girl. I like to think. That's what my mom tells me every day. I would like to think that it's easy to get a passport renewed. It's really not. They make it really difficult for you. They really want to work for that. I was like, I don't know how to do these things. Where's the time in the day? I can't go in person. You need a headshot with a blank wall but like why can't I use this like from my Instagram it's very confusing

and I'm just a girl men should have to deal with this I don't know why I have to do it it's rude I could keep going I could have a whole episode of like people and things that will rue I'm gonna stop there but anyways for the next segment we have listener submissions I asked you guys to tell me something bad shit crazy I promise these will remain anonymous and let's go through some of them They were fucking nuts. You guys are nuts. And it makes me feel all sane. So thank you.

I used to schedule my boss's affairs in his calendar, but labeled them as home showings. So his wife who shared that calendar wouldn't know he was out cheating. That's fucking crazy. And you are an accomplice. I'm not judging you. I'm judging the man. It's always the man's fault.

But wow. He probably thought, this poor wife was probably like, damn. Like, my man is making fucking bank. he is bringing home the bacon he's trying he's trying to support us look at all these fucking showings no he's just getting his dick wet what an asshole but like that's kind of tea that would entertain the shit out of me i'm assuming this man is in real estate so i'm like wondering like was he actually doing showings and just like fucking like these people like on the kitchen counter or some shit because that's like kind of hot like i've watched porn like that i watch a lot of porn like

actually. So I like, I get the vision, but like he's a bad man and he will rue. He's on my list. But that's T. Okay, next. If my boyfriend of five years doesn't propose me this year, I'm going to fuck his friends, period. Girl, period. I didn't even hesitate there. Get that rock or just suck off his friends. Like, I would do the same shit. I'm not judging you at all. I support this with my full chest. Get that rock. or he can kick rocks. I mean, I've seen people in relationships, and I feel like six plus years, it gets to be like, okay, what are we doing?

I mean, it depends how old you are, of course. I feel like if you're dating like high school sweethearts or whatever, and maybe you're just like 21 now, like that's pretty young to get engaged for most people. So I get that. But if you're in your 30s and he still hasn't given you a rock after five years, like I would just move on and fuck his friends because his friends might be able to give you what you want a fat rock or his friend's hot too and you set me up with one DM me I gave an NBA player a foot job and he asked me to finger his ass but I had acrylics oh my god guys

I am obsessed with you all I once have done this I once had the press saw nails these are my real nails now but I have fingered a guy's ass with my acrylics and I had really bad job at like biting my nails I would bite them down basically to the so when I would do the stick on glue on nails, they would fall off so easily. So I remember, like, I would lose my nails and, like, this one guy's ass on the regular to the point where, like, I'd just start taking them off before I did it. I would just, like, rip it off and, like, throw it behind me and then, like, fingers ass then. If you, like, saw me in the streets and I had, like, all my hands, like, fingers on,

besides, like, these two, you knew I had a good weekend. Anyways, I think that I didn't even. acknowledge the foot job part. That's interesting. A foot job is something I've never really tapped into. You know, these NBA players can be into some weird shit. How does that even work? Are they obsessed with the foot or do they like the foot feeling on their dick? I've always wondered. And that's like a lot of working out that you have to have very flexible like hip joints for that to really work if I'm picturing it the way it should be picked. I want to finish this off with saying I respect you, I see you, and I'm not judging you, I think that's kind of fun.

And fuck it, whatever. Okay, next. I crashed my boyfriend's car on purpose because he wouldn't shut the fuck up. These men won't shut the fuck up. I get you, honey. Sometimes that's the only way out. I'm hoping it was like just a slight bender bender, and it wasn't something insane with insane damage.

Who's paying for that? These are the questions I have in mind. But like sometimes these fucking men won't shut the fuck up and put a sock in it I would just dump the motherfucker I was getting my nails done once when they tapped the phone and went to a video of me and doggy girl I feel like this has happened to me before too but like not with me I was having sex with this guy and we were having so much morning sex and then we whatever I went to go shower after and while I was showering he must have been watching porn or whatever or something we get in the car like car play goes on to his phone and porn just pops up

and I was like we just had nine rounds like what possible like how does your dick even have anything left in it was probably shooting blanks but that was like kind of reminded me of that story I don't know he was fucking weird own sex addict but it's okay they probably didn't know what was going on anyways. Just say it was like a cinematic masterpiece and that you were like a creative arts major or something. That's what I would have done. I would have never showed face of that nail salon ever again though. Okay, what's next? My boyfriend almost broke up with me the other night because I told them I had a body before him. What is wrong with these men? Your boyfriend would hate me. That's like the first thing that comes to mind. He would hate my guts.

I would break up with him over this to be honest He sounds like a fucking prude loser Like why is he shaming you for that And you should break up with him immediately Starting having an anaplectic reaction While hooking up with the guy Because he had peanuts earlier that day I've actually heard of this happening

Like horror stories of this happening Always have your EpiPen on you Because God forbid A man likes the fucking PAB and J But also these are things If you're highly allergic to peanuts This is a conversation I would have before fucking or making it out or anything like that would be the first thing i tell someone is i will die if i eat

peanuts so like let's not eat peanuts if you want to touch me like these should be conversations you should be having just for your own safety you know we gotta stay safe out there babe okay 69 with a guy queefed on his face uncontrollable he jet launched me off the bed roo he will roo that's kind of funny though i feel like a man wouldn't be really scared of a queef though he sounds like a fucking pussy ass bitch like grow up just a queef they don't hurt they don't bite 69 is also like i feel like a queef is prone to happen he should know better but i would have punched him in the face if he had launched me off the bed like that i would have slapped him backhanded him in the fucking face goodbye never talked to him again he sounds like a weirdo my boyfriend is 22 and his mom

sold his laundry. Well, listen, when I'm home, my mom does my laundry too. She doesn't let me touch it. In my opinion, she doesn't want me to fuck with the laundry. She's a very type A perfectionistic OCD queen, which I don't mind because she does really, really, really good laundry. So maybe this is that situation. If he lives alone and is dropping off this laundry to his mom's house, that's a different story. I don't do that. I can figure it out when I'm in my own apartment. But, You know, 22, he gets a little grace. That's not the craziest thing I've ever heard. Well, on the list of things that we've read off today,

I feel like that's on the, you know, tamer side. But if he's still doing this at 30, then we have a conversation that needs to be had. I still think he's in the clear, though. 22's not that old. Every time I get up with a guy, I let him come in me, and then I bidet the shit out of my cooch. Hashtag no baby.

Period. I don't know what a fucking bidet is. I just had to ask production, which we kind of go, what's a bidet? A bidet? Like, I wouldn't even buy that, like Amazon. Like, fuck. But I feel like that's not good for your pH levels at the end of the day. I would just pee immediately after. We're getting an IUD, babe. It's 2025. Get that IUD. I promise you, it's not terrible pain. It's not fun, but it's better than giving birth. That shit's probably. really painful. But bedang sounds like a lot of work and it'll probably take out the natural pH of your own like vagina and we got to keep that or you're going to get east infections or

be prompt to like UTIs and shit. Like it's a very complex creature we have down there. But I get a cream pie's hot. I'm into cream pies too. He needed space so I vlogged and posted it in our shared album when I wanted to chat. That's so real. That's like the level of crazy I want to be on in my next relationship. It's giving, like, having conversations with people through, like, Vemmo or, like, email or, like, I've had, like, people, I know, like, Chad, like, with one of his ex-girlfriends, they used to, like, contact him through, like, LinkedIn. Like, crazy-ass shit. But I feel like this is fine. I wouldn't do it, though, because if he's asking for space, it's probably because of shit like this that you're doing. You know, like, maybe just take a bee and give him a

moment. Let him miss you. Let's let that heart grow fond, babe. Let him miss you. I feel like that's a very important thing that I wish I knew when I was younger is like allowing a guy to miss you is so important and healthy for a relationship. That's funny though. And I respect the level of crazy. Guys love fucking crazy bitches. We've discussed this.

One time a guy whipped out a carton of milk from his nightstand during backshots. Why? Like, was he thirsty? Or did you want to pour it on you? Do you want to emulate the image of calm all over your body? I have a lot of questions. I feel like that would smell and probably soil his bat. That sounds like a very messy situation.

I don't know how I feel about this, to be honest. I probably wouldn't talk to the span much more. My situation ship didn't hit it good last night when we hooked up. I texted him that it's over. Period. I have nothing to say besides period. If he's not hitting it right, he's not going to learn how to hit it right. And we can't be teaching these men how to fucking hit it in 2025.

I'm so sick of teaching men how to, like, know what to do in bed. Like, I'm too old for this shit. So if he's not hitting it right, even as a situation ship, because sometimes we're so delulu to thinking, like, the sex is better than it is. If you think your situation ship isn't hitting it right, he is not hitting it right. And that's on period. Thank you. Okay, next one.

If this thing is underrated, if you're a size queen, you must try it like you like that much girth Is the girth worth it I mean I don't know I feel like if I can handle anal then I can really handle anything in there but I just like don't think

fissing would just like cross my board like that like it just doesn't sound appealing and a fist is fucking big well my fist isn't I probably could handle my own fist Maybe I'll try fisting myself first and seeing how it feels And then maybe I could ask someone to do it

But that's fucking crazy There's also a lot of knuckles going on You know Like maybe if it was shaped right I'm just trying to look at my fist right now Also like would have to take my rings off That could get interesting But

I mean I'll give it a go I'll give anything a go once I told my situation ship that I was in a car accident And he sent me a dick pick in response He sounds like a fucking image you're a loser but also like he probably thought that was the funniest thing ever but also are you okay that's like so rude to reply that i would never talk to him again that's such like a snapchat thing to do which makes me feel like this guy's really young and immature he needs kick rocks and you deserve better

than that also like get off snapchat if he's snapping you we've talked about this guys if he's snapping you no he's too young and you need a no decline unless you're like 16 to 21 then that's okay Okay, next one. My friend wanted to steal a guy's insulin pump so she could pretend to have it and save him. Oh, my God. That's fucking bad shit crazy. But, like, what if he accidentally died? Is that insulin for diabetes?

Yeah. Yeah, babe. We got to give him back the insulin pump. We got to give him back. If he starts seizing or having, like, an issue on the floor and then, oh, I see what you're doing there. Honestly, he's kind of genius, but, like, evil, but, like, genius. Just like don't forget where you fucking put it And then you could have like a save the day moment

I mean oh my god I think I'm crazy and then I reach it like this And I'm like think Thank God I'm not Or maybe I should get it on another fucking level of crazy Sometimes I think I'm not crazy enough I'm kind of passive sometimes But like I'm crazy in silence

Like no one's gonna ever know like I'm spiraling in my own brain But that's okay Okay last one I was fucking this couple and the boyfriend would lock the girlfriend in the closet while he fucked me oh that's kind of hot

but like I would be really mad if I was the fucking girlfriend also that's not like a threesome that's like getting kidnapped like this girl's like I'm picturing this girl like banged down the door and like all she hears is like that's like a cuckold situation

all she hears is like oh my god her boyfriend railing another girl that would like be my worst nightmare but if you're into that kind of shit maybe she's like in the closet masturbating i don't know this could go two ways either like really hot or really really scary and not and like this guy needs to like be stopped but if this couple i'm assuming is into like taking on a third then it was probably like the latter they probably were like we're into it that was crazy too i love this for her i would do that with a couple once i was at this like I was at like a bar in New York and this couple honed in on me.

They were like so obsessed with bringing me home. But it was almost like in a sketchy kind of way like where they like kind of were like we're scouting out girls and like she was like coming on to me through the guy and she's like we want you to come home with us. And I was like I don't, I'm not into that. She's like well like we really want you like we think it'd be fun. We do this with girls all the time like you're super sexy and hot. Like come home with me.

And the guy wasn't even talking to me It wasn't like a group effort It was like the guy gave her the thumbs up And the girl was the one like trying to sell me on it I think I was like in catchy Shoebe or something And like this very loud like clubby space And I was like oh my god I need to get the fuck

Out of the situation It was kind of sketchy But it was fine I love to tell the story Anyways these were fucking crazy I love these I love the segment We have to do this again

I'm gonna save the rest for like the next week's episode or something um but anyways i love you guys this was such a fun episode as always like subscribe comment tell your friends about this podcast say nice things um as always you can watch me on youtube and you can listen to me on any other platform but for now i love you guys enjoy your week enjoy your weekend love you all bye Thank you.