FACTORALY - E44 SECRETS

Episode Date: June 27, 2024

We almost made it to 30 minutes, but it's a fascinating subject and worth the extra six minutes! Secrets have been around forever, and we barely scratch the surface in this episode. However, as we scratch, we uncover a whole realm of subcutaneous facts that will surprise and delight you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello Simon. Hello Bruce. How are you today? I'm not telling you. Okay then. Keep it to yourself, that's fine. Yeah. Okay. How are you? I could tell you. But then I'd have to kill you. So I'm not gonna. No. Well, hello, everyone. Hello. Before you all adjust your sets and wonder why we're sounding so incredibly quiet. What's this week's subject, Simon? This week's subject, Bruce, is all about secrets. Hence the hushed tones.

Yes. Now, normally we take on this show, which we call Factorally, with me, Bruce Fielding, and... Me, Simon Wells. Just to get that out of the way. Yeah, intros. Yeah, whatever. You all know why you're here. Anyway, so yeah, so normally we take a dull, dry subject and try and make it fascinating for 30 minutes.

This one's going to be the opposite. This one we've taken a subject which is absolutely fascinating. We could talk about it for hours. Yes. And also try and get it into 30 minutes. Yes. This is going to take some reining in there are some it's interesting isn't it you know we we did a our first ever episode was on cucumbers yes sat there scratching our heads saying what on earth can we talk about cucumbers for half an hour turns out there's quite a lot

actually yeah this is the other extreme this i mean we might as well have said, let's talk about breathing. Oh, you went for air. I went for breathing. That's fantastic. Such a big subject. I have no idea how this is going to work, what the format is going to be, but we'll give it a jolly good crack. Let's start off where we always start, shall we? Let's start off with a definition of secrets or an etymology of secrets.

Either or, let's do both okay so secrets um this is this is quite a an interesting long-winded um etymology to this one the first time we see the word secret written down in its current form was in the 14th century and its definition was that which is hidden from human knowledge that eventually got broadened out to that which is hidden from general knowledge. But it's something that not many people know, and it's something which is often purposefully and deliberately hidden from the general masses. The etymology of it, it comes from a Latin word, secerne, S-E-C-E-R-n-e-r-e sicernere sure good pronunciation you should be a voiceover

i should be a classic scholar oh hang on a minute there you are great we'll leave the latin stuff up to bruce um and that word means to sift or to separate. That then evolved into secretus, which means separate from or set apart from. So it's kind of, it's otherly, it's held apart. Yeah. And then it eventually became what it means now. It's a piece of knowledge which is separate from the majority. Got it. Yeah.

Okay. I do have a secret. Oh, do you? What kind of secret? This one involves salt, thyme, basil, oregano, celery salt, black pepper, dried mustard, paprika, garlic salt, ground ginger, and white pepper oh i ah wait no hang on is this the fielding family soup no that's available on on youtube you can find that anyway yes oh fine okay carry on no there were 11 herbs and spices i just mentioned 11 kfc yes brilliant the secret recipe the secret recipe. The secret recipe. Yes. Which most people now know.

Yes. I did a little bit of research on secret recipes. That's sort of one of the many, many avenues that I went down. And there are loads of them. I mean, just, you know, any product that's commercially available available which claims to be in any way unique they have a secret recipe or at least they're alleged to have a secret recipe as you've just said you know a lot of them have been reverse engineered and and people have figured out what's what's in them yes but i had to sort of poke around to see who has secret recipes and this produced campari kendall mint cake hershey's chocolate cabri's chocolate marmite martini pins heinz ketchup kfc etc etc etc all of these people

you've got the big one i'll come to the big one because this one was quite interesting assuming the big one is coca-cola that's right yes oh so into you. So Coca-Cola was first created in 1886 by a fellow called John S. Pemberton, and he had this secret recipe. And it was so secret, you know, it was such a personally guarded secret. He kept this recipe on a piece of paper in a bank. When he feared that the security in that bank might be breached, he moved it to a safety deposit box elsewhere. He moved it elsewhere.

He moved it elsewhere. Apparently, now, this secret recipe is written down and kept in a vault at the World of Coca-Cola. Yes. Which I didn't know existed. And now I really want to go there. Yes. Well, we've mentioned Hershey World on the confection.

Oh, yes, we did. Yes. And Cadbury World. So apart from chocolate worlds, there are also soda worlds. Apparently so, yes. I heard that when you get into the vault, you don't actually find the recipe for Coca-Cola.

Right. You find directions to a place that has directions to a place that has the location of the recipe. Oh, that's great. That's even better than what I read. So this is in Atlanta. You can buy tickets to the world of Coca-Cola.

Yeah. Should we go? To Atlanta? Yeah, why not? I hear there's a voiceover conference going on there as well. Oh, there is. Yes, you're right. Kill two birds with one stone.

Similarly for Dr. Pepper, who first came up with his recipe in 1885. Was he a real doctor? I don't know. I couldn't find any evidence of that. He certainly had connections to a local pharmacy and so on. He himself worked as a pharmacist. So whether he had the title doctor or whether that was just added on at the end, I don't know. A soubriquet. Oh, thank you very much.

That's a great word. Apparently in 2009, an old ledger from this chap's drugstore in Texas was discovered, and allegedly it had the recipe for Dr.'s pepsin bitters written on it which contained mandrake root wahoo bark which i've never heard of and bitter orange peel and a few other things it's never been confirmed as to whether that's authentic or not but um again this chap put it in a safety deposit box and you know guarded it with his life um leon perrin's worcestershire sauce i mentioned briefly earlier all of these things have on the ingredients it says various flavors or yes

several spices or things like this so the majority of the recipe is known the fact that it's secret may just rely on one particular you know i used white pepper instead of black pepper and that's that's the whole secret who has um iron brew the the scottish pop drink but we know what that's made from girders according to the adverts of my childhood if i remember correctly um apparently only two people in the world uh at any one time are allowed to know the recipe for for iron brew um both of those people are members of the bar family so that's quite quite closely kept um so yeah lots of secret recipes wow we talked about the coca-cola vault which isn't really a secret but there are lots of secret places lots of places that keep secrets yes i expect there are i came across quite a few of these there's one in there's a place in ethiopia called the chapel of the tablet okay and it's believed

that in the chapel of the tablet is the ark of the covenant oh okay indiana jones star indiana jones but nobody has actually seen it and lived to tell the tale. Oh, so it may or may not contain the Ark of the Covenant. Well, it's looked after by a very religious woman who has to be a virgin. And she looks after it. She doesn't ever come out of the chapel. Ever. Okay. And she tends to the needs of whatever it is of the Ark of the Covenant. And when she dies, or just before she dies,

she hands over the post to another virgin. Wow. Huh. People make pilgrimage to this chapel, and it's surrounded by a red fence. And that's as close as you can get. You can't go any further than this red fence to get to the Algo government. There are quite a few other secret places in the world.

Go on, what have you found? Well, there's one, I mean, North Korea, obviously, has secret places. The whole country is a secret. But they have a thing in North Korea. Basically, North Korea ostensibly doesn't do any business with the West and has nothing to do with the West. It's a completely self-enclosed society. Apart from Room 39. And Room 39 is a room at the Ministry of the Interior. It's on the third floor.

All the weird stuff happens on the third floor all the all the all the weird stuff happens on the third floor but what they do is they do things like they're in charge of things like counterfeiting american dollars oh um making uh drug production uh basically oh insurance fraud okay they do loads of things to make um money the West to support the North Korean economy. So it's a state-sanctioned room. State-sanctioned crack den, yeah. How interesting. I love the fact that they've given it a number.

I love the fact that everyone knows about it. Presumably security is so tight and everything is so governmentally controlled that there's no fear of anyone ever actually saying, hang on, you can't do this. Well, yeah, of course we can. Yeah. I mean, especially when the head of state is sanctioning it anyway. Yes, exactly. Yeah. But it makes about a billion dollars a year. Oh, crikey, does it? Wow. That's a very productive room. Yeah. They reckon there's another billion dollars from North Koreans sending money home.

Oh. Who kind of, because apparently there's another billion dollars from North Koreans sending money home. Oh. Because apparently there are North Koreans out there. There's like a chain of North Korean restaurants which is supposed to fund some of the state. Oh, really? Very strange place. Very strange place. Interesting. You do a lot of work with the Chinese, don't you? I can't tell you.

Well, I mean, there's a place called, it's actually opened in 2009. There's the Chinese Fying Museum. Oh, brilliant. It's the Jiangsu National Security Museum. Okay. And you and I wouldn't get in there. Oh. Because we aren't Chinese.

We aren't Chinese. The only people that they allow into this museum are Chinese nationals. And you and I wouldn't get in there because we aren't Chinese. We aren't Chinese. The only people that they allow into this museum are Chinese nationals. Right. And where is that? What was the name of that again? It's the Jiangsu National Security Museum. Right.

Okay. And it's interesting because it's got lots of old school spy equipment, like, you know, pens that fire darts and all the James Bond-y stuff in there, as well as sort of old radios and things. Yes. Oh, fantastic. I went to an exhibition on James Bond in London many years ago, and it sort of had all the props from the movies. But it also had a really interesting display of sort of saying how close to the truth some of this stuff was you know here here is an actual spy pen from mi5 here is an actual you know a blueprint of a of a car that sort of fires rockets and things like that um interesting interesting stuff well there was one thing that that came out of that which was great which was the um the the prop guys um came up with a a like a micro breather system that had like two co2 type bottles on the end of it and a breather in the

middle yes i can picture that from from the movie and the military asked um the prop guys how they made it oh really because they thought that's a a really good idea. We should have one of those. And they actually looked at building, for real, one of these props. That's great. That's great. Well done. Times when movies actually influence real life. Yeah.

I didn't dive too far into military intelligence, because, again, as soon as you start poking around spies and secret codes and, you know, I remember our episode on codes, I think we ended with that sort of stereotypical do you have the briefcase, the sun is setting in the west, etc., etc. Absolute rabbit hole, so I didn't even touch on that. I just had a little look at the Official Secrets Act.'ve signed which you have signed yes i remember you saying that tell us about that why can you tell us why no i can't tell you of course you can't tell us why

that's infuriating there's nothing worse than someone who's got a secret um but the official secrets act i mean Secrets Act, every country has one. So specifically, I'm talking about the one in the UK. Yes. Originally started in 1889. And this was created by the then newly formed Secret Service Bureau, which eventually split up into MI5 and MI6 and all of that jazz. So they come up with this with this act and um it's

been sort of superseded the the one that's currently in force is called the official secrets acts plural 1911 to 1989 but with lots and lots of amendments and stipulations and so on and so on and those acts contain the official secrets act the, the Public Records Act, the Security Services Act, the Intelligence Services Act, Public Interest Disclosure and Freedom of Information Act 2000. And it's just right from the start, you know, 1889, the local press was saying, oh, this robs us of our freedom of speech. And this is going to be used by the government to suppress the public's right to information. And it's just a way of controlling the media and all this sort of stuff. I just thought, wow, nothing has changed in the last 150 years.

That's exactly how it was then is exactly how it is now. Did you know that there were different levels of secret? No. So it starts off with restricted. Okay. And then it goes to confidential. Yes. And then it goes to confidential yes and then it goes to secret and then nowadays it goes to top secret which is called also called level seven is it but up until 1942 the uk called it most secret which i think is nice most secret rather than top yes that's

most secret yes yes it doesn't look so good when good when you sort of slam that red ink stamp onto a brown manila envelope saying, top secret. That's quite cool. Most secret. Not quite so cool. Yes, more gentlemanly. But you talked about MI5 and MI6. I wondered about the other M other mis the other military intelligences yes are there ones other than five and six well there were mostly it's first world war stuff

although some of its second world war stuff right so okay here we go uh mi1 was in charge of censorship and code breaking ah mi2 was in charge of geographical intelligence mi3 was in charge of geographical intelligence. MI3 was in charge of geographical intelligence in Europe, specifically. Specifically. MI4 was photographic reconnaissance. And now MI5, obviously we know it's internal affairs. So that's only stuff in the UK. Yes. MI6 is foreign affairs.

Only stuff outside the UK. MI6 is foreign affairs only stuff outside the uk mi7 press and propaganda mi8 the radio security service sort of signals that kind of stuff okay and my favorite mi9 which was the division that helped prisoners to escape capture and downed pilots to come to the UK. Oh, right. They were the people who sent out the monopoly boards that had the, like, compasses hidden. They sent compasses hidden in buttons. They had monopoly boards where the pieces held, like, silk maps and stuff. They basically were, put it this way, the guy who was in charge of coming up with

these things was known as q oh wonderful chap called klutty hutton okay all right brilliant what a great name yeah that's fantastic i discovered on that note i discovered the again it's hard to do these things without referring to james bond isn't it but um the the first person who was disclosed to have one of these letters as a as a name uh was a fella called um i can't remember his name now but um he he was called c mansfield coming c for coming oh is that what it was so i i read it as c for chief because he was the chief of mi5 at the time no he used to sign all of of his memos and stuff with a C for coming. I see. And he used to write all of them in green ink, which is still done today.

Oh, is that right? Yes. Oh, how interesting. I also found, this is controversial, but in theory, it's not really necessary for you to sign the Official Secrets Act. The Official Secrets Act is a law which everyone who abides by the law of this land is under. When you are asked to sign the Official Secrets Act, it's not a contract. You're already under that law.

The signature is kind of just there to remind you of the fact that you're under a law. You're not actually signing it. They make it quite scary when you sign it, I have to say. Oh, I bet they do. Yeah, it must be incredibly intimidating. But hypothetically, you're under the Secrets Act, whether you sign that thing or not. The signing of it is just sort of a gentle reminder of the fact that that's your current state. It's not just government, is it, that has secrets? No. There are secret societies as well.

Oh, have you gone down that route? Goody, goody. So I was looking at all the secrets. I mean, starting off with the Knights Templar and all that stuff. Oh, fantastic. Oh, here we go. But then you get to the Illuminati. No, you can't say that. We're going to be taken off the air, Bruce.

Well, the Illuminati are one of many secret societies. I mean, there was the Skull and Bones, the Knight of the Golden Circle, the Knights of Pythias, the Hermetic Brotherhood of Light, and, of course, the Freemasons. But the Illuminati are quite interesting. They've been around for a long time. Have they? Kind of. Because the Bavarian Illuminati, which are the ones that generally we refer to these days,

that was founded in 1776 on May the 1st by a guy called Professor Adam Weishaupt. And the theory is that he couldn't afford the fees to become a freemason so he decided to start his own secret society oh really oh that's great and the idea of the illuminati was that they cast aside the roman catholic religion and all the members were given classical nicknames they weren't actually known by their own names for example um professor weishaupt was was called spartacus No, I'm Spartacus. But it didn't last very long. So it was founded in 1776.

In 1787, Carl Theodore of Bavaria signed an edict which made membership of the Illuminati punishable by death. Oh, crikey. But, yeah, I mean, the theory was that the French Revolution was an Illuminati, old Illuminati things, and the new Illuminati organised the JFK assassination. So yeah, so these secret societies are still going. Right.

Technically. I mean, the Freemasons is definitely still going. Yes, I mean, that's one of the least secret of the secret societies, isn't it? Yes. They've got a whopping great big headquarters in central London with a sign clearly stating Freemasons. of sort of time-travelling TV series, which sort of go back and forth through time, uncovering this constant thread where the whole of the history of mankind has been controlled and governed

by this small elite secret society for nefarious means. It's ubiquitous, isn't it? It's a very, very sort of popular plot. Do you think it exists? I expect so, in some form or other. Because if you do, then you're in, you know, 28% of Americans, they believe that the Illuminati exists. Only 28? That's a surprisingly small number.

I thought more people than that would have... Nearly a third of all Americans, one in three. Well, considering that 54% of Americans believe that the government is covering up secrets about the fact that we have discovered alien life forms. 54%. Well, that's again, another one of those very secret places, isn't it? Area 51. Previously known as Paradise Ranch. not quite so interesting or intimidating as area 51 um right so area 51 we all know what area 51 is in popular belief according to the conspiracy theorists take me to your leader exactly that yes exactly that so area 51 is where they study aliens

they recover ufos and reverse engineer them to see how they work secretive secretive cover-up cover-up um officially area 51 is a a u.s military flight test station it's where they train pilots um whereabouts is it uh i can't tell you no i can't tell you it's in ne's in Nevada. It's in the north of Nevada. And it's there. It's a spot. You look on Google Maps and there's a mysterious blanked out section that represents Area 51. It was only in 2013 that the US government officially acknowledged its existence.

Everyone knew it's there. The locals certainly know that it's there because you can walk right past it and see it. You know, it's this huge military guarded compound that no one's allowed to go into or fly over. Don't they have like alien burger places in the middle of the town? Yeah, it's all very thematic. Yeah, absolutely. And this all started, this whole relationship between Area 51 and aliens started in the 1980s. There was one particular fella who used to work in Area 51 who left,

and he started telling anyone he could tell all the things that he saw whilst he was working there. And it all sort of centered around alien spaceships and experiments on aliens and UFOs and all this sort of stuff. And that's kind of where it all started um but yes officially in 2013 the the year that they acknowledged its existence uh there was a freedom of information request in which a previously undisclosed cia document was released sort of telling the history of area 51 it was acquired the land was acquired in 1955 by a nearby air base they um started constructing the u2 spy plane not the band the spy plane um and training pilots

to use it and that sort of thing and it's all very very above board and so on but because they were testing new technology and creating the spy plane and it it was all very hush-hush. It sort of generated this aura of secrecy and privacy. Right. Ooh, I wonder what they're hiding in there, which is sort of what's led to all of this. Well, we know what they're hiding in there, don't we? Yes, aliens. There's also a place called Mercury in Nevada,

which is a town where you're not allowed in, unless you're a researcher, because Mercury, Nevada, which is a town where you're not allowed in unless you're a researcher. Because Mercury, Nevada is right next to where they set off some atomic bombs in the 50s to test what the effect of atomic bombs was on people and buildings. Right.

So technically it's a town, but it's only a town that you're allowed into with the permission of the American military. I see. So you pretty much have to work there or or be affiliated to it a bit like a place um slightly west of harrogate not what i was expecting go on so there's a place called men with hill right men with hill raf base which is about sort of five six miles west of harrogate and it is the largest electronic monitoring station in the world. Is it really?

I've never heard of it. They've done a good job of keeping that a secret. Well, they sort of have. I mean, the thing is, it was bought by the government and then kind of given under an agreement to the Americans. So technically, the British aren't allowed onto Menrith Hill RAF base.

And they have a huge amount of people from GCHQ work there. It looks like they've got these giant golf balls. When you look at it, I'll put a link in the show notes at factorily.com. Factorily.com? That's the one in the show notes at factorally.com factorally.com that's the one

in the blog um be warned it's a terrible rabbit hole this place the wonderful rabbit holes my favorite rabbit any any amount of research that we've done to actually produce this stuff yes that you're listening to bruce goes away and finds out 10 times as much and puts links and videos and stuff onto the website well worth a look thank you yeah no it so so men with hill is i mean the locals don't like it because it's very very secretive and actually it's it's a prime uh target you know if you've got a listening station what the first thing you want to do is is get rid of that it's a prime target so the people of harrogate you know i mean they made me very nice with their toffee and their teas and their fish and chips.

They make my favourite brand of coffee. Don't eliminate them, please. Right, so secret bases, MI5, MI6, really, really big, important stuff. None of that comes anywhere near as important to state secret as the imperial napkin fold oh have you heard of this the austrian one yes oh go ahead tell me how it's done i can't um the imperial napkin fold also known as the Habsburg Napkin Fold. And as you say, this is an Austrian thing. It's a particular fold of napkin.

It's beautiful. Again, I'm sure Bruce will kindly put a picture of it on... Are we allowed? Yeah. I don't see why not. We're not giving anything away. Okay. It's this beautifully flourished and curved and folded napkin getup

that the Austrian government use for official dinners. You walk into your elaborate dining hall and you sit down at your named seat and you have this wonderfully beautifully sculpted napkin thing sitting on your dish. Is it a bit like one of those swans you find in the hotel? It's not particularly the shape of anything. It's ornamental. It's got scrolls. It's got folds and overlaps. It's rather beautiful.

But again, it's a closely guarded secret. It's said that only two people in the whole world know precisely how to fold these napkins and at such point that one of those people meets their demise or you know stops being the chief napkin folder of the austrian government um that knowledge is then passed on to someone else they need to have at least two people who who hold this knowledge just in case something bad happens to one of them yeah um but yes it's a very very closely kept secret. There have been lots and lots of videos online that look like they're showing you exactly how to do it. Again, it's one of those things that's been reversed engineered. People have taken these napkins home from events in Austria and sort of tried to unfold them and then refold them, and they've invariably failed and don't exactly know how to do it. But yeah, I just thought how wonderful, how wonderful. Out of all of these wonderfully mysterious things we're talking about, one of Austria's most highly guarded secrets is how to fold a flipping napkin. Very, very strange.

I mean, the Americans, of course, have a whole service which is secret. Do they? The secret service. Would that be the secret service? A dinner service, is that? Which, ironically, was set up by Abraham Lincoln on the day that he was assassinated. No. Yeah.

And he set it up deliberately to look after heads of state. So basically to look after the president and all the government of the US, plus visiting dignitaries. Right. And he set that up on the day he died. Yes. Something doesn't seem quite right about that, does it? Maybe they got in first. I understand that he's thinking of starting this thing up. Yeah. Let's bump him off before it's too late.

Another important thing with secrets is to find out how to wheedle them out of people. But you don't have to do anything terrible. But you can give them drugs if you want to get some secrets out of them. Yes, truth serums and things. Sodium pentothal and scopolamine, which are very effective. They basically just – it's almost the equivalent of just getting somebody drunk.

It's almost the same. Yeah, I was just going to say, it's not a magical potion or anything, is it? It just sort of loosens someone up and makes them relaxed and talkative. Yes, exactly. It's like when you're just starting to drift off to sleep yeah in fact um scopolamine is used as a for travel sickness oh is it really yeah interesting unusual huh and then you can tell whether somebody's lying oh yes um which is kind of more acceptable now than it was when it was first invented by a guy called William Marston.

Okay. He invented the polygraph, the lie detector, which basically measures your heart rate, the amount of moisture on your body, your breathing rate, your eye movements, all these things to see whether you're lying or not. And that's the machine with the little sort of scratchy needle on the paper, isn't it? Yes. That we've all seen in so many spy movies. Yeah.

I mean, quite interestingly, you know Wonder Woman? She's got that lasso. Yes, the lasso of truth. When she's binding somebody with a lasso, they have to tell her the truth. Yes. William Marston invented her as well. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, fantastic. He wasn't a very successful law professor okay but he must he must have been very charismatic because his wives right plural uh seemed to be very keen on him okay and he was an unusual man in in his tastes, which is why when he drew Wonder Woman, she was wearing like sort of thigh-length boots and she had like a lasso and she had… Rather low-cut bodice. Exactly. Basically like a corset trick. Yes, that's right.

And she wore a couple of gold wristbands. Oh, yes. And the gold wristbands were actually things that he gave to his wives to say that, you know, you were both loves of my life. Oh, I see. How interesting. The wholesome world of DC Comics. I discovered the existence of something called Letters of Last Resort. Yes!

Which I personally had never heard of. The fact that you've just grinned and gone, yes, means everyone else knows about it. So again, it's not a terribly well-done secret. I'm not sure anybody who hasn't done, like, hours of research into top secret would. Well, let's find out. So the Letters of Last Resort are four letters which are written by the Prime Minister of England on the day they become Prime Minister. And these are basically very, very specific instructions as to what to do in the case of a nuclear attack.

And these four letters are sent to four separate submarines in the Royal Navy and kept there in a locked safe only to be opened upon the event of a nuclear attack. And then those letters will tell those submariners exactly what to do. Those letters are only valid within the premiership of the prime minister who wrote them. So as soon as there's a new prime minister, those letters are destroyed and new ones come along. So these things are sent specifically to force submarines, which are equipped with Trident missiles so that they know what to do come nuclear war.

Supposing it says, don't fire anything? It'd be interesting, wouldn't it, if that's what it said. Switch it all off. But yes, again, it's the stuff of spy movies, isn't it? Unlock this safe, tap in that code take out this envelope there are instructions inside yes that's actually a real thing which i find quite charming that's amazing yeah nobody knows where genghis khan is buried or sorry jengis we're supposed to call him nowadays aren't we that is not where i was yeah go on so um when jengis khan was buried in his tomb

the whole procession that took him from where he died to his tomb which is quite a long way it takes took several days or even weeks okay nobody survived the journey because it was a particularly harsh journey or because they were all executed? They were all executed. Really? Yeah, every single one of them. So basically his family said nobody's going to find where he's been buried. Oh, wow. So hundreds of people were killed to hide the secret of where Genghis Khan is buried. What about the person doing the executing?

Well, I imagine you had somebody back home who would execute whoever came back. Yes, okay, yes. Welcome back from your journey. Well done for killing all of those people. Sorry about this, but… Yeah. That's excellent. Well, it's not.

Yeah, it's not good for them. Not excellent, really. That's not excellent at all, but still, you know what I mean. Yeah, I'll tell you a bit of a secret. Go on. I've run out of things to say about secrets. Have you? Can I tell you a secret?

Go on. So have I. But don't tell anyone. They'll keep on listening and think we're still going. Well, thank you very much for listening, you have been indeed if you switched off halfway through we don't blame you but thank you for coming back in for the end if you've enjoyed yourself um please tell other people about it so that they can come along and enjoy themselves you've probably already subscribed actually haven't you you have haven't you we know that

you've given us a five-star review already, haven't you? We know where you live. Creepy. So we'll see you next time when we return with another episode of Factorily. Goodbye. Cheerio.