Fairy Tale Fix - 113: WRONG! feat. Chadwick Heiberg

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

Our favorite nomadic gnome and spellbound storyteller is back for the third installment of his Baba Yaga series, we welcome Chadwick Heiberg back to Fairy Tale Fix! Chadwick reads his original fairy tale, The Road to Baba Yaga, and answers some very important questions we’ve had about our favorite witchy grandmother. Then, Kelsey finishes up this Halloween episode with two more stories from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark: Wait Till Martin Comes and Aaron Kelly’s Bones.

and another you don't point so i was re listening to episode 112 uh that came out a couple of weeks ago and i'm re listening and i just ami i don't think you get that point you said her okay we have you have to explain for chadwick otherwise he is not going to know what we're fighting about and then he will not be able to choose who's right which in this case is me i'm sorry normally i want to give you a point, but I just can't do it. I'm so excited to see what everyone else thinks. Okay. So what happened? Abby predicted, so there's a story. It's called the haunted house. And Abby first said, oh, I probably can't predict ghost. And I'm like, that's correct because it's called, it's literally called the haunted house. Right. So instead she predicted a house.

I predict the house is built on a grave. Okay. So, spoiler alert, it wasn't, the house wasn't built on a grave. There was a grave in the house, like there was the house, and then somebody got murdered and was buried in the cellar. So Abby thinks that counts, and I just don't think it counts. And in my, and my argument is two-pronged. Here's why it counts. Okay.

The first reason it counts is because timeline-wise, I did not mean, by that prediction that someone died and then the house was built on the grave. I just meant that there is a grave. That was the sentence I said, but I didn't know you were going to take it so pedantically is that referencing a timeline. Okay. So if I had known you had the house, it's built on a grave. So how is it different?

How is saying that a grave is in a house? How is that different than predicting ghost for the haunted house? Because people die in houses, which causes hauntings all the time, but the grave is not That's how the house is haunted. No, the grave is always in the fucking cemetery down the street. No. The grave is not always in the house in a haunted house. If I had known you were predicting just there's a grave in the house, I wouldn't

have let you predict that. Chadwick, is the grave in the house? Does it have to be in the house for it to be a ghost story? I hate to say it, but I think only because the precedent is that, I mean, precedent could mean a lot of different things for your podcast, but I have heard you guys kind of really use the words to just to like to break the tie there on like the prediction. So I think if the words you said were that it was built on a grave, if that's what you said, then I believe that Kelsey is right here, unfortunately, because I don't need to like, you know.

So, my punishment for having been pedantic in the past. Yes. Sorry. I think that was a question for Chadwick. Yeah, I wasn't asking you. Yeah, well, these are your comeuppance, I guess. Oh, my goodness, that feels so good. I am excited to see what our patrons think we're going to put up a poll.

We're still going to poll the patrons. I might even do an Instagram poll. I have a funny feeling they're going to, they're going to side with chatwick here. I do also think that there might be like a 1% chance that if I hear the story, things could maybe shift, you know? That's true. So for the listeners, this episode has not come out yet.

We are recording this on September 28th. The episode does not actually drop until October 7th. But we recorded this last Sunday. and Kelsey and I have been arguing ever since it's time to drop it. I'm very excited to see what the people say. We need the people to decide

Chadwick is our current spokesman. We will also have polling out at some point this week. And then we'll use the polling data plus Chadwick as the listener's spokesman to decide once and for all. but I don't, I don't think it's going to go in my favor because we have pedantically settled things in the past. You got to be, you have to say it exactly the right way. But if you argue things on the merits, I still think that I have a strong point.

I still disagree. Because if I had known that grave in the house was a prediction for haunted house, the haunted house. Okay. Then we have, you know what, we haven't settled this question because I still firmly disagree. agree with that. Chadwick, as listener's spokesman and the decider of things and someone who was just universally wise, handsome and versed in all things spooky. True. Do you think that for, do you think that for it to be a ghost story, there, the grave of said individual, that for it to be a haunted house story that the, that the grave of said haunting has to be inside the house. Or just on the house, land. You see, now you're taking things out of the context of it. If you had a story called

the haunted house, could Abby make a prediction saying there's a grave in the house? Could she make a prediction saying there's a grave in the house? Yes. See, I wouldn't, because it's called the haunted house. I feel like that's too obvious. But the grave doesn't have to be in the house for it to be a haunting. Well, it also doesn't have to do anything with the haunting. It could potentially just be. a grave that haunting also I don't think

it means only ghosts I think it's too easy I don't think I would have let you predict that it could be a haunted doll it could be a haunted it could be like a poltergeise that was left over

from someone experiencing a really angry emotion or a violent fight inside the house that the then moved on like there are so many different kinds of hauntings that it does not necessarily

have to be a ghost who is buried in the house somewhere okay doesn't make a difference that you saw the picture of the ghost. You didn't show me that picture until after we'd started the start of the story. No, but you had already seen it before. We had talked about it.

It's like the cover art. I barely remember. I barely remembered what it even looked like. And you're just going to keep going round it around and around. That might be true. We should probably get to the actual episode that we invited Chavaconda for because I don't think we're ever going to agree. But I'm excited to hear that episode.

so I could actually get a completely informed decision. It was a very fun when I enjoyed listening to it again. It was delightful. Yeah, it was a great episode. And we are so excited to have you back for our special Halloween episode. Chadwick, everyone. Woo! You're probably me. I'm not

I'm going to be the I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I know Oh my Oh, and I'm

Oh my I'm Back for another, I think this is your third tale that you're going to tell us, right? I'm so excited. But before we get into that, what is new with you? You recently moved. I've relocated. I was last in New England

or some people don't consider Connecticut in New England but I was in the north of Connecticut on the border of Massachusetts and I moved to Belgium I live about 30 minutes from Brussels in a small little village And it's the cutest place in the world to live I have been loving all of

like all of the pictures you've been taking just they look so scenic They look like they're right out of a fairy tale Yeah it does really feel like that It's interesting. I think Belgium is not at all what I expected. I'll say that much. And it has like a lot of darkness, actually.

I mean, it has a very dark history. And then it also involves so much. There's a lot of Illuminati vibes and influence all over the place. And then everything is Gothic. Like there are so many scary looking things. I've never been to a lot of churches here. They call them cathedrals here. and they all are just like with angels

and they're all a beautiful angel you walk up to and they're holding like a bloody skull or something you know there's like paintings of people beheaded all over the place in these in these cathedrals and I'm like... It sounds like you're in the right place yeah I think so it's actually funny because I feel like it's out it's almost creeping me out a little bit

you know it's like which is interesting and hard to do but yeah there's that And then, yeah, there's just like this really beautiful natural element to living here as well. People are very like woodsy, I would say. But in their own like brand of woodsy, which I think is fun. And yeah, there's just so many castles. We've been to so many castles. It's been really nice because we have a car now.

The first some odd months, we didn't have a car. And it was actually people always tout, oh, you could just pop on a train and go anywhere in Europe. I'm like, no, you spend more money doing that than if you were to just drive and have a car. And you end up like what we were going through Germany a few times and the train doesn't actually get you back home. Like three hours will go by and that train never came. And then you're there at like 1 a.m. And then you're getting home at like 3 a.m. or something. I don't know.

It's ridiculous. Okay. Well, way to shatter my illusions about this, about like the magical European public transportation. Yeah. So there's definitely, there's a lot of shattering moments, frankly, living in Europe and now being a European resident. But I think it's still really beautiful. And it's just really funny. I don't know. Like it has a really, have you guys seen like Sean of the Dead? Yeah. Yeah. For whatever reason, I'm constantly reminded of Sean of the Dead when I'm here. Because also, you know, we're not far from England. And I feel like there's a lot of influence in some of the structures here as well. And some of the culture. And some of the culture. And then when I'm just, there's so many neighbors I have that are mysteriously dark, but like won't refer to it. Don't, like, they won't ever admit it. They won't say anything spooky, but they are just like, they seem like there's something

going on, something a little fishy, something a little creepy. And it's everywhere. Like, it's in silly things too. Like my next door neighbor, she has an interesting vibe, but we can't really speak because I don't speak Dutch still. I think it's like just a horrible language. I'm never going to learn it. but um the there they have like a um like the adams family doorbell when you when you ring it

and then then just like a cute little granny comes out with no references to anything and it's like it's like a it's like a old like piano version it's like really kind of creepy uh doorbell and i'm just like that is so weird that they have this like gothic creepy doorbell and they're just this cute little lady coming out and she you know does she has pink on or something but like i don't know there's just like a little it's always a little dark and everyone has a little mystery to them So it's quite interesting. That sounds fun. I definitely love stalking you on the internet.

All of your videos and pictures are so fun and so, like, so beautiful, just unreal. It's almost like you are in a fairy tale world. So everybody makes sure to go follow Chadwick on Instagram and check out all of his amazing photos. And then you should secretly tell us what you learn about your neighbors because I want to know. And also be very careful that you don't end up in like a mid-sum. summer situation. Yeah. I've actually like ended up.

Like a creepy town full of like Belgian elders. Who knows what they may sacrifice the American transverse. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. That's exactly the vibe. Honestly, I'm getting inspired by it, but at the same time I'm getting creeped out by it.

But I ended up putting up a few videos on TikTok that went like relatively big. And so you get a lot of comments. So I'm reading like hundreds of comments about Belgium that I had no clue. And everyone's just like that place. is dark. That place has this history, that history. Go to this castle because this happened there. There's a lot. I mean, the things that we can't even appropriately talk about, I believe, on the air that they told me. And yeah, so I find it just fascinating. I also feel a little stifled by it as well just because, you know, sometimes you just want that fresh air,

sea breeze vibe. And it's not even like that. It really is kind of like an intoxicating energy here, for me at least. So it has a positive and a negative, but yeah, I find that Belton's a very interesting place. Unfortunately, I won't be able to be here that long. I have to move to another country within a year. So because another thing to burst everyone's bubble is the taxes here for artists are unbelievable.

You were saying a little bit. So please do not come here if you are, especially Belgium. It's one of the worst I realized. if you're an artist because you will be, you know, leaving, you'll be coming home with like 20% of what you make in the year or something like that. And after all said and done. Yeah. That's rough stuff.

Yeah. But I will say on the positive side is that I do feel way safer, maybe like a thousand times, to be honest. That's the tradeoff for sure. Yeah. And I feel like well taken care of within the hospital system. something that was really important to us because my husband has a pre-existing condition. And then just in generally, I feel like you could live very comfortably if you kind of allow the Americanness to melt off a little bit, which I have done.

We're going to be okay. Yes. Tell us about something. Tell us about what you've been working on. Tell us about your writing. Okay. So I will say that since we've last did this, I have written a ton because that's honestly all I have to do.

except shopping for antiques. And so I've written a bunch of different stories. And they kind of just come out and I've stopped kind of trying to make them fit. So I end up having a ton of stories that make no sense together. So I was like, maybe this will end up being an anthology and ever. I'm actually finished with this of just random stories. And that's okay too. But the story I'm telling you today is a continuation of our character's journey.

Because I thought that was important. I mean, either would be. be fine, but I do, but I am very excited about like part three. Yeah, definitely. So it will, you know, it's funny because, so I've written a bunch of different stories now. And there are a couple before this, just to give you some context, that don't, don't have as much to do with the storyline, but are still involving the characters. So I wanted to get to the one that actually involve the storyline because for me, this is a pivotal chapter actually, because my whole intention, if you remember, was to kind of weave

Babiaga, Slavic-oriented fairy tale storylines with New England storyline. And this is where it actually shifts from the New England to the Slavic. Okay. That's what I'll say, so I don't give away too much. Okay. All right.

All right. What is your, can you tell us what the story is called? so I have actually just named it and the road to the road to Babayagas that's what I named it I'm probably going to change it

but that is the working title How many predictions do we get? Do we get three? I would say it's as long as the first one which was seven or eight pages so definitely three, yeah. I am so excited so excited to hear

The Road to Baba Yagas. Me too. Kelsey, I'm making you go first on predictions. Okay. This week. I will. I really wish I just realized like this morning, oh, I should have relistened to those just in case. The past episodes evening.

I did last time and this year I just, it's been so busy. Hmm. So I predict. children eating or no like children being eaten to clarify that's very important I love you no matter what though okay

children being eaten I also predict I am still waiting for, like, her horseman of the apocalypse to make an appearance in one of your stories. So I'm going to... Oh, really? Nice. Yeah. Thief.

I used my mind to... Because usually I copy your predictions anyway. I just changed them just a little bit. And my third prediction has... Oh, I'm going to predict talking horse. talking talking cat talking cat

because that's what I want in every fairy tale all the time. I have not been on a roll with my predictions I'm

hmm I feel like I had some good ones but now I'm having to reconfigure some things in my head Chadwick

remind me from the previous two stories remember the one before this one focused on like the eldest sister and what happened to her right so the one before this was about mary yes who is the older eldest sister and um how she was uh with baba yaga and her whole little situation there her whole little deal yeah um and then the one before that was that

like all of the younger siblings and i can't remember do they rescue do they save their mom's life at the end or bring you back to life somehow the first episode first episode first um chapter is about them going on a journey to Babiaga's house, which they come upon, to ask her to save the mother. And in doing so, kind of putting this, starting the chaos of the Salem witch trials.

Yes. Gotcha. And then that was the one in which Baba Yaga, like her price was she kept Mary. Yes. And then the rest of them. Yeah, they popped off.

back home, yeah. And then just so, just to clarify, Mary in the second one rejoins the family after some incidents. Right. Have I even made a prediction yet? I don't think I have. No, this one.

Okay. This is, this story just not focus on any particular member of the family. It's just, it's an ensemble piece. Um, they have trouble finding Baba Yaga's hut again. Okay. Like they can't find it? I don't know if I want to go.

I'm not going to predict the outcome. Just, uh, just that they have trouble finding it. Okay. And then my third prediction is, I don't know my talking skull just. Ooh. is sticking in my brain. Awesome. Would be awesome.

Love a talking skull. Kelsey loves a talking cat. I love a talking skull. A talking cat and a talking school have a little conversation. Cute, funny. Love it. That's all writing my fix for the story is that that's how it ends. They're both looking at each other and they're like, what the fuck was that?

What the fuck happened? Like they're doing like commentary afterwards. Yes. Oh my gosh. Yes. Sassy commentary Okay, hit us. I'm so excited to get part three.

So the road to Baba Yaga. It was the darkest night and the darkest month that weary Salem ever knew. The wind moaned through the trees like a chorus of restless specters. Their cries twisting in the hollow dark. A year had passed and by now hundreds bore the mark of accusation.

Neighbors wore new faces, masks of fear and suspicion. Fathers delivered daughters to the gallows, wives betrayed by trembling hands, sisters sharpened their tongues upon each other, and friends dissolved into foes. Hysteria crept like ivy through every rafter, clawed its way into every dusty corner, turned every stone with a jealous hand, and in its hunger cast countless souls to their graves. You're such a lyrical writer. This is such a strong start.

It's so beautiful. I want kind of like wind and like spooky noises in the background. And then some flames crackling. Oh, yes. You put the light on again. The Meacham family kept to their home as best they could. But the year had gnawed at their spirits, leaving them hollow and afraid. Guild pressed upon them like a heavy midwinter snow that never melted.

In trying to preserve. their mother's life, they had ushered more death, more ruin, and fear upon the village. The girl set out that very evening, as they had on so many nights over the past year, carrying candles and wearing their robes, bound for the gallows, to retrieve the bodies of the newly hanged. Since that faded Sow and Eve, the Meacham sisters had resolved to give the lost souls proper burials. Most victims were otherwise left to rot in the ditch, besides the hanging posts, discarded without care. They walked in a solemn line toward the site, the eldest Mary Meacham, trailing behind with a wheelbarrow. That night's dead included a young girl,

scarcely older than Mary herself, skin pale as snow, hair black as coal, her expression almost peaceful, and a young man condemned for bewitching a married woman into his bed. When her husband discovered the affair, he wasted no time declaring the youth a witch. Boo. Because that's why it happened. The sisters worked together to gather the bodies. As they lifted the boy, they saw the ravens had already been there and eaten his eyes. They wheeled the bodies to the town cemetery and spent the rest of the night digging graves and praying over the lost souls.

As the morning sun began to rise, they walked home. The girls had been very quiet as of late. Their dark chores and melancholic existence became so overwhelming that there wasn't much to speak on that they didn't bring up on tears. As the girls woke later that day, they sat at the breakfast table mulling over porridge. It's been over a year with no end in sight. We have to do something, Alice whimpered. What could we do that we haven't already tried? Little Saramicham asked.

I don't know, but I can't take much more of this, Martha said. As it continued in silence eating their porridge, slowly Mary spoke up. We have to go back into the forest, back to Bobby Yaga's house to ask for help. There was a light thunder of fear in Mary's voice when she spoke the witch's name. The girls all agreed with a tearful nod. There was so much that could be said of the fear going back into the monstrous house, but they kept their words to themselves so they didn't talk themselves out of it. They packed some things, some apples, some rope, and a sharp shear from their mother's

dress making kit for protection and went on their way. Oh, gosh. I'm like, I'm really feeling for Mary especially right now just because like she had to struggle so hard to get out of there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But, but like just the situation is so grim like I can also see like it's just, I don't know, good, good plotting, I think. Yeah, definitely. Make that make sense why they would even want to. Yeah. There's like no other way at this point. There's no change. And they're for such compassionate.

at girls. Yeah. That's what makes some good like characters, I think, yeah. Yeah. The sisters pressed

on into the wicked wood, where the branches twisted like gnarled fingers against the dying light. The wind whispered through them,

and it seemed the trees themselves urged the girls to turn back, their crooked arms pointing back towards their home. Even the eyes of the bird seemed to be

watching them extra close as the sun began to set sitting there dappled by setting sunlight through the leaves. There are adhered a large toad. You must have been three foot tall.

I love a big toad. That's a big toad. That's my favorite. Why didn't I predict that? Shut it on, shut it on talking toad, I presume. Yes. Yes. He was slimy with large yellow eyes. The frog released one loud quote,

raw. That was so good. Excellent. Cleared his throat and began to speak. I'm so excited. Hello, young travelers. I have a riddle for you. One that few have heard and fewer have solved.

If you answer wrong, well, then I'll eat you. Yes. Tired and in shock. Couldn't even answer before he continued. Very good. So. I am born from breath, though I take no life. I can loosen or bind, which is weave me in moonlight.

I am weightless, yet I can move heart and mind. What am I? A broom, Mary Meacham answered, wrong, the frog reply. And suddenly his tongue lashed out and grabbed little Sarah Meacham. Yes, my prediction is coming true. Pulling her in and swallowing her whole. I got the children I didn't point

The girls then began to scream and shriek I mean also oh no Don't pretend to have a heart now I'm not so happy about it One more try children I am born from breath though I take no life, I can loosen or bind, which is weave me in moonlight. I am weightless that I can move heart and mind.

What am I? The girls look puzzled and bewildered. Alice answered. A potion? Don't answer, Alice. Don't. The toad said wrong. Yes.

But before he could stick his tongue out, without hesitation, Mary leaped over to him, saying, give me my sister, lunge towards the frog with the shears in hand, cut open his stomach, and little Sarah Meacham came tumbling out. Classic fairy tale. Excellent. Perfection. As you should. The girls continued on with their perilous journey through the deep woods to Baba Yaga's house.

Wait, do we get to know the answer to the riddle? Oh, I have a guess. I have a guess too. Yeah, let's answer. Or with the, okay. Spell? Spell. that's what I was going to say.

Yes. The spell, yes. Okay, cool. So it was like, words. That's not Halloween enough. Spell. Yes, it was a spell. Too bad the girls couldn't answer that first time.

They're dumb. They're young. Not everybody can be on this level of so good at guessing story things. The girls continue on. Also, I love that. Sorry, Shabwe. Also, I love that as a solution to a riddle-asking monster. her, which is just kill it.

Yeah. Don't answer the stupid riddle. Kill it. Yeah. It was actually really practical. Very practical. I love it. I think she's tired of the nonsense.

Yeah, for it. She's like, oh my God. What is even the point? Yeah, she's like cracked the case. Yeah, the code. The girls continued on their perilous journey through the deep woods to Bobbi Yaga's house. As they went along, they came across natives hiding behind the trees.

They didn't approach, but they whispered, Turn back noun. Nothing kind lies ahead. The girls having made this journey before and resolute in their mission continued on. Yeah, we know. Yeah. Thanks for the warning. They came across a very large, wet, muddy patch and had to continue through it.

The mud was so deep, it rose. to their waist, and it reeked of sulfur. As they struggled their way out, mud-covered hands began clutching at their legs. A dozen heads broke the surface, slick with muck, their milky white eyes blinking at the girls. The sisters rushed forward, scrambling to escape. Everyone made it out except Martha.

The mud creature seized her legs and began to drag her down. Their hands grasping at her neck and face, pulling her deeper and deeper, until she was gone. on. Mary threw their rope. Mary threw their rope, through her rope, oh my gosh,

into the pit. Mary threw her rope into the pit, but nothing. Martha was gone, swallowed whole. They all sat there in sadness, but then a few moments later

something tugged on the rope, nearly ripping it away into the mud. Mary hurled herself onto it before it was gone, clutching tight, while the other girls grabbed hold of her legs. They pulled and pulled until at last Martha broke free of the mud. Together they hauled her out, dragging her back to safety. After cleaning up and getting just a moment of rest, the girls continued on.

It was now the dead middle of the night and the house of horrors they had been walking towards could be seen in the distance. As they reached the house again, the girls began to feel weird. So the twins Martha and Alice sat down for a spell. when a bunch of gnarled branches grabbed them and held them upside down by their feet. The girls were screaming in fear as the long tendril-like branches tightened around their necks.

As they screamed, the house of horrors lit up from the dark. An intense green glow once again from each window lone bright and the door slammed open. It was Baba Yaga. Yes! Awoken by the girls screaming, she craned her head to the girl. laughing sinners to Lee.

Try some apples. They like apples. I love your Baba Yaga's so much. Apples, why would they like apples? Cannibalism? Mary yelled. They're hawthorn trees. That's a weird thing to say.

Baba Yaga mumbled under her breath. Mary threw the apple she had in her bag towards the trees and they dropped the girls. the girls then came running and huddling toward each other. They looked towards Yaga, now directly behind them, towering over them with her large nose casting a shadow on the family. I knew you'd be back. They always come back.

Do come in. And as she clapped, her hands together, they were transported to her hearth. They always come crawling back to her. Yes, your version of Babayaga is my favorite of all the time. She's great. She's so great. The girl sighed with relief as they nestle it again in ornate blankets in cozy soft chairs. The space seemed so familiar with carvings in the wood and magical items in every corner.

For a second, they felt they were in a dream. The sensation of relief was so strong after their journey. They looked towards the fire and Yago was sitting before it. Now she had a slightly different form. No large nose. She had pointed teeth, but they didn't protrude from her mouth. She had her hair up in a bun, and she wore a beautiful brown shawl with light yellow flora motif. She had kind gray eyes and a shapely lip.

She once again reminded Mary of her grandmother, but Mary knew all too well, the horrors of this house. So she stayed alert. The girls all had a cup of tea in their hands. The cups smelled of cardamom and cinnamon and rose. Well, that does sound nice. Sorry about those Those tree girls They are part of my new security system

There has been some new monsters in these woods Even some out of my purview Anywho You girls been through a lot Drink your tea They have healing qualities You should be feeling renewed in no time Are these potions or spells?

Mary asked No, no I bought these at the apothecary in town They were two for one Yaka began to laugh, but in a more demure tone than her usual cackle. The girls nervously sat and drank their teeth. There was a long period of silence, and then Yaga asked, So Mary, you broke your lifetime contract with me, made a mess of my home flying out of here,

and ate some of the best meals I've conjured in centuries without permission. What pray I ask do you want from your Baba now? Our town has been in an even worse. date since we last met, and it's all our fault. Making this deal with you has made our village a living nightmare. People are regularly hanged, families torn apart. We needed to make this right. Hmm. I'm sorry, it clearly states in our contract. Look here, child. Look close. A large parchment appears, and Baba points at a spot on the text. The text was so small, so Mary leaned in. But as Bobbiaga pointed to it, it enlarged. No takebacks.

she giggled as the parchment disappeared in a puff of smoke I warned you that this magic was unreliable and to heed my warnings why do humans always create the problem and then run to someone else to fix it I mean she's she's out here asking the real questions is Babiaga but we need you to help us please the guilt has weighed us down so much we no longer see a reason to go on Hmm. No reason to live, you say. Free souls, you say. I should just bottle you up right now, you say. I didn't say any of that. Listen, please, Mary yelled. Bobbiaga stares at the girls for a moment. And her hair began to rise slowly like an electricity was running through her. Her shapely mouth turned into a sinister grin, more akin to her other form. And her eyes almost looked purple. all right children this was what i'll do i've been fond of your heart and valiant since i've known you mary i've watched you all from afar as you did what was right for your village you four can all come work for me protect my home and tend these lands these will also be the standard lifetime agreement and i'll make them stick this time

In return, I will stop the dark energy that has seeped into your village, and the hysteria will cease. What about our mother? She would be heartbroken, and she will believe we have died. Alice chimed in. Your mother will forget all about you. It'll be as if you never existed. She'll be alone, but I'm sure some lad will come scoop her right up. She still has a tight bosom, if I remember correctly.

In time. Mrs. Beachim, keep her toirt. In time, she could possibly have more children. We couldn't leave her like that. We will always be part of her, and no magic could change that. I don't know, Mary said. Hmm. Well, how about we send back the little one?

She wouldn't be that useful to me anyway. The girls all looked at each other. Some of the girls shed a few tears as the exchange of knowing that this was the only way. Bob, I didn't miss a beat, jumped up with a little bottle, collecting the tears. Don't mind me, dears. I'm running short. Thank you.

She loves a good deal. The girls, they're head in agreement. The girls nod their head in agreement. And Yaga says, excellent, clicks her fingers, and thousands of spiders crawl speedily out of the cauldron

just like last time. Covering every inch of little Sarah Meacham. And in a blink of an eye, she disappeared. Oh. Very cool, though. Then Baba Yaga

stands with a wand in hand. The girls rise from their seats forced by Babiaga's magic and bow their heads. Martha, you will be the protector of the realm by day. You with your fair skin will now be known as bright day. Nice. With powers in tune with morning light and morning dew.

The white blanket with intricate patterns began to form around her into a complex armor of fabric. The folk art designs grew and shifted with the magic and a light shone from the fibers. Alice, with your fiery hair, will be the protector of the realm when the midday sun reaches its highest point. We will call you red sun.

You will protect this land with the ferocious wildness. The blanket she had on also began to form around her with magic, then the turn of Baba Yaga's wand. This time the fabric turned into armor with a large flame on the chest plate and a teardropped, shaped, embroidered shield. And Mary, you better not try to run. run away again, Mary. You with your dark hair

and you have seen so much darkness, but also bravely fight for the light. You will now be known as Black Knight, a herald of dusk and the night sky. You will hold dominion of the darkest, deepest corners of the forest, because I know

you can handle it, Brave Mary. The black blanket she was keeping warm in, blew in a great gust, it wrapped around her many times and became a deep blue armor, with folk art details of black moons and a blue cape of twinkling stars. Cool. Please tell me of artwork for these.

I should try to do something. I really want to see that. I think you might need to draw this. So shall it be. As Babiard clapped her hands, horses could be heard outside. The girls ran outside to see a horse for each of them. One as bright as day. one as red as fire and one as black as night.

The girls quickly jumped onto the horses and rode off into the woods. This is how Baba Yaga came to have her three horsemen. And gloomy salem lived in infamy, but the witch trials did cease. Little Sarah Meacham returned home to live a long healthy life with her mother. Baba Yaga, now with her three protectors, lived wickly ever after. The end. That was so good. Cool.

Oh my gosh. Amazing. Incredible. Perfection, no-notes. That was, except for, you know, the talking school, the talking cat, the very end, just make like a little quip. Yep. Got a got to, got to have a little like, can you believe that shit? Yeah. That was so cool. Oh, my gosh. What an incredible way to bring the horseman to life. Yes. I love the origin story. Oh, so good.

Yeah. So we spent so long in like when we were reading Baselisa the Beautiful going a Like, where the fuck did these things come from? And now we know. Yeah, I actually haven't found anything that specifies where they came from either. Yeah, there's not a lot of information on them. So that's perfect. Yeah. For inventing something.

Where is this HBO miniseries? Seriously. It would be so good. I feel really excited about doing exactly what you were talking about the horsemen when you guessed it. Kelsey earlier. And actually, both of you were going to guess, potentially the horseman. It was like a big part of the story that really like binds the girls and Baba Yaga together for the rest of the books. So yeah, this is like kind of a pivotal point.

So and I think the other thing was- It's season three of the show that's coming. I think like with the story thus far, you know, New England always held this like place in my imagination that's super like, I guess Tim Burton or like dark and gloating. gloomy and creepy vibes. And I think that like that isn't what I think of necessarily when it comes to Slavic mythology. And so what I wanted to do for the first like portion of the book at least was to be like immersed in that gloom. And then when it gets this other place, that it's like another part of my personality, which is like, even though I don't know if this has any accuracy whatsoever. But I just feel like when I look at the art of the art of the Slavic art that has.

has to do with Babiaga stories a lot of time and Vasilysa and everything, where it's so ornate and beautiful and it has those little framings. They seem so cozy. It seems so like, so I wanted to bring the folk arts, the kind of Slavic vibe into the rest of the story. So it's really beautiful in a different way, not necessarily the completely morose, dark descriptions. I think it still has some darkness as Babiaga.

Obviously, it's the dark forest. But it wouldn't have that same element. So yeah, I'm really excited to kind of shift the rest of the. the stories into just a different, I guess, wordage and everything. Yeah, and this is like a perfect, like, I think you absolutely nailed that transition of kind of transitioning out of that older style into like where you want to take it. Yeah. And it's actually kind of representative of myself too, to be honest. I think that like, that's where I was thinking when I was writing it. I was like, well, it's this, I feel like,

I'm like a, like a folk art fanatic. Like, that's one of the things that I actually adored about New England was that I got to experience the colonial folk art. second hand obviously in in vintage form but um i really just really adored that and i have a lot of it in my house and um it just is how i like see the world like i would love us to all be more ornate so i want to like have an excuse to like write all my characters as much as i can in that so yeah this is how the story is developing so i'm excited to then talk about the other ones uh the other stories that come after this yeah so what are some other stories that you're working on in this anthology.

Yeah, so I have, again, I don't want to give too much away, but I have one that's like a siren story, which because you guys have talked about mermaids and stuff recently, I was like, I'm definitely not going to do that again because I feel like that, you know, that's maybe for a different time. But I might have one that's written for that, which I actually really do like.

Maybe for mermaid. Yeah, mermaid. I really do like that one because it is really beautifully visual in a way that I haven't written before because I really haven't written a lot of sea-related things. Despite loving the ocean as much as you do. Yeah, well, I have, I mean, I sing a lot of, especially like Spanish songs that I like that are about the sea or actually all types of songs about the sea. But yeah, in this medium of writing, I haven't done a lot of it.

Actually, I also wrote a screenplay in this time side note, but I wrote a screenplay that actually I think is brilliant. I don't say so myself I believe it It's like fairy tale But it's not It is fairy tale 100% But it's like in a It's almost like a different type of storytelling

For fairy tale It's maybe a little bit more made for film But anyway So I wrote that and that's a sea story About like a someone who gets taken out to sea And then comes back like a different person Different creature Like a sea being

And then helps to bring the And hundreds of years later and then brings the town back to their traditional culture of taking care of the sea and fishing in non-commercial ways and ethical ways and everything like that. I love that. That's so cool. I love that. Yes, that was that.

And so I did that. But then I also wrote this fairy tale for that where one of the girls have an experience with Siren, which is really cool. And then the other one is a less she story. I can never pronounce that word. But it's basically just like this very like forest, like highly forced, a little trippy. Oh,

the Lushy story is always like, it'd be like, woo. Yeah. So those are the two stories that I have that are specific to the storyline, you know. Cool. Well, I look forward to like hearing it, hearing them or reading them in the best-selling book that you eventually put these together in. Yes, you definitely need to publish a book with all these stories. Please.

These are so good. HBO needs to do a mini-series on this Babiaga character. I love it. Because I love her so much. Yeah, but I think like It's funny because like the whole thing we're talking about About me being an American coming out here You know, I had a lot of guilt around not writing fast enough

I guess we're not writing cohesive enough You know, there's even a part like I was saying where I was like Let's drop the storyline I'll just make a bunch of different fairy tales and put in a book, you know But I felt a lot of guilt around all those things And now that I am in here and in the midst of just like being inspired And then creating whenever I feel like it I realized that I could be 80 and post or if I'm allowed by then and publish a book and it can become a bestseller to it.

There's no rush, you know, for that type of thing. So, um, so I'm actually really excited about it. So I'm like, yeah, it doesn't matter when it happens. And when it happens, it's supposed to happen and I'll just like create as best I can instead of like, um, torturing it by thinking I have a deadline. Yeah, definitely. But it has been nice. Take your time. Yeah.

I feel like I get inspired a lot by doing this podcast because I'm like, let me make sure, you know, I'm like, you know, editing as much as they can. And like, you know, sometimes I do just kind of like and then just like I'm done. But then when we have this, I'm like, let me look this over again because I don't even know what I wrote. Well, you have, you can come on the show literally anytime. We love having you. Anytime you feel like you need some of that deadline inspiration. That's so nice.

Thank you so much. Yeah. Just let us know, we will make it happen because we love your stories so much. Yeah, well, you know the other two stories. If you ever want to hear a story like that, just let me know. Definitely. I'm going to keep writing. And I do feel like I said, where I am is really inspiring.

So I am fortunate for that because I do feel like I go to these places. And, you know, I've been touring a lot of castles recently and just being able to, like, be in spaces that actually have history like that. It's just kind of wild. They're just like, there's so much that happened around me. right now, but like in the past, you know. It's a really, a trippy vibe, but yeah.

Well, and then also just being in like a town that you just described as just kind of being so atmospheric and kind of mysterious and a little moody. Yeah. And it's also surrounded by all these ancient castles and stuff. Like, I just, that just, it does sound like a very inspiring place to write. That sounds cool. Like, I'm very excited to see what this era of your life brings out for you.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm really excited too. Yeah, I will definitely keep you up to date via however social media or whatever. but like um with things out here because it is a mystery to unfold i believe okay so to recap we both got two points uh there were children being eaten and the horseman made an appearance although there was no talking cat and then abby yours it did not focus on a particular family family member it was an ensemble piece yeah it was ensemble and that they did have trouble finding baba yagas hut they found a lot of trouble on the way yeah

But that's actually funny because, like, I was thinking it was going to be another situation, like, your little fight in the beginning of this episode. That's why words are very important. Because the word, I'm like, finding, finding, uh, yeah. And here is where I am going to self pedant. Oh, okay. When I made that prediction, what I meant was they were literally going to get lost and have trouble finding it. I did not necessarily mean they were going to run into trouble when I made that prediction. I know that's what you meant.

But I love that it also like happened anyway, just in a different way. I think that's fun. I do think that's fun, but I don't think I get the point, especially if we've decided that the words matter that much. Remember your pop lock and drop? Or he popped it. He pops and he locks it. When I. Because that is what happened.

He did pop lock and drop it. And again, the house. wasn't built on a grave i'm just saying we will let's let's move on um because i we could go another 10 rounds on that all right then you only get one point all right okay so let's see i had i thought i had there it is i since it is the Halloween season i have been reading more Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, aka millennial folklore. By our great friend Alvin Schwartz, who is just a 90s icon.

Did you have this book when you were a kid? I did. Yeah. I remember when I was a kid. Yeah. I actually, again, I don't remember a lot about it. But I remember they maybe like maybe a movie more recently. Oh, they did.

I think I saw some of it. I don't remember thinking it was very good. They did make a lot of call-outs to some of the stories. But it was kind of like for kids, so it wasn't as like scary as I think they should have made it. Yeah, it was absolutely for children. Yeah, but not even in an engaging way because I tend to like things that are audiences for some reason.

But yeah. Yeah, yeah. I definitely think they could have done way better on that one. But the stories are pretty spooky. So I am going to read probably just one. well a lot of these are really short so I'm going to read this first one it's called wait till Martin comes how many predictions do we get I'm going to give you both two because it is only like a page and a half okay you remind me how dark these things get like on a level from

zero to then what if that um gosh I feel like they vary so much I feel like they're definitely more for kids it's like scary stories that you tell kids in a circle at night or whatever. I don't know why I remember something being really dark, but I guess maybe. But some of them are really dark. Like, so like, but it's, it's like that kind, like, you know, in the 90s when like the, the idea of what you could and could not tell children to scare them, I just feel was so different than it is, than it is now. Like, I feel like so much of like 90s kids content was fucked up. Yes.

It definitely was. No, that's really true. Yeah. So maybe it was just like the, the time changes. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's like, oh, it's for kids. So you might want to put it in simpler language. But the, but the base concept is still pretty Don Bluthy and just totally screwed up.

All right. And actually, it's really only like one page, but I'm still going to give you two predictions. Okay. It's very short. Wait until Martin comes. Okay, wait until Martin comes. So do you want me to say my predictions now? Yes.

Guests first, if you, if you would like to go. go first, we're all go first. All right. I'm going to go. I think Martin is going to kill someone. Okay. And that there's a lot of fear about him coming home. I love it.

Perfect. Okay. Abby, give me two. Go, go, go, go, ghost. Perfect. Uh, one more. Martin's actually really nice. Amazing.

Okay. Without further a jeer. Wait till Martin comes. An old man was out for a walk. When a storm came up, he looked for a place to take shelter, and soon he came to an old house. He ran up the porch and knocked on the door, but nobody answered. By now, the rain was pouring. down and thunder was booming and lightning was flashing. So he tried the door. When he found it,

it was unlocked. He went inside. Except for a pile of wooden boxes, the house was empty. He broke up some of the boxes and made a fire with them. Then he sat down in front of the fire and dried himself. It was so warm and cozy that he fell asleep. He woke up to a black cat. He woke up and a black cat was sitting near the fire. Oh my God. It should have said talking cat. This is what you've been dreaming of. Damn it. Sometimes you got to make your dreams come true. You know what I'm saying? You got to manifest it for yourself. It stared at him for a while. Then it purred. That's a nice cat, he thought, and he dozed off again. Is it a nice cat? When he opened his eyes, there was a second cat in the room. But this one was as big as a wolf. It looked.

looked at him very closely, and it asked, Shall we do it now? No, said the other cat. Let's wait till Martin comes. I must be dreaming, thought the old man, and he closed his eyes again. Then he took another look, but now there was a third cat in the room, and this one was as big as a tiger. It looked the old man over and it asked,

Shall we do it now? no said the others let's wait until martin comes oh my god the old man jumped up jumped out the window and started running when martin is so smart you tell him i couldn't wait he called the end i love it oh my god that's perfect no notes absolutely no fixes 100% incredible I agree. I love that one so much. I'm a little bummed. We don't get to meet Martin, but... I know. So we don't know what Martin's going to do, but there is a lot of fear about him coming home.

So, Chadwick, you know, one point. I would say that it's pretty, it's like implied that he was going to kill him. I mean, but Martin could actually be really nice. You have no idea. Yeah, you have no idea what they were going to do that they wanted to wait for Martin for. A bunch of cats aren't surrounding you for tea. It's because they want to snuggle you. Yeah, they just love you. And then there's like, there's a creepy picture of three cats.

Because the illustrator for this book is just the most terrifying has must have the most terrifying brain because all of his drawings are so horrific. Yeah. You know, it's funny. I think when I saw the movie, I was hoping there would be more of that aesthetic, weirdly. enough to be associated that book with that aesthetic so much that I was like, who was the exciting? The illustrator is either Stephen Gamal. It's a pH, so I never know how to pronounce that one.

But this person is terrifying and their drawings are terrifying. I want to send it to you guys, but I don't know if I can send it. I just Googled Wait Till Martin House. Oh, yeah, perfect. And the image search gave me the, yeah, gave me the image. And it's like three cats, but they are terrifying looking. Like there's something wrong with them. Yeah, they look like they're very oddly proportioned.

And the biggest one looks like it's standing up on its hind legs. Yeah, they're cool. Yeah, I love the, when Martin comes, tell them I couldn't wait. Tell them I couldn't wait. I wonder if there's, like, fan theories as to what Martin was. Martin is the Yolokuturen. The giant Christmas cat. That might be, that's probably it.

The biggest cat yet. The cat is as big as a house. Yep. A big cool picture, like a cat that's as big as the interior of the home. Yeah. All right. Do we have time for another one? Oh, let's do one more.

That one was so short. Let's do one more. Okay, I'm going to tell one more story. This one's two pages. So I'm also going to give you again, just two predictions. This one is called Aaron Kelly's Bones. There's a house built over. Aaron Kelly's bones.

Now, when you say... Is that really your prediction? No. Okay. It can be if you want. I love you, I love you, Abby. Yeah, yeah. Aaron Kelly's bones are in the walls.

Okay. And give me a second one. Talking cat. Oh, hell yeah. What if I pick two stories with talking cats? I wouldn't put it past you. Me neither. But this means you didn't.

Then I would have two nickels. It's not a lot, but what are the odds that happened twice? All right. What are your predictions for Aaron Kelly's bones? All right. I think Aaron Kelly's bones animate, like come to life after a good. Love that coffee. Love that.

And or otherwise, maybe there's something wrong with a living person named Aaron Kelly and her bones aren't so good. Aaron Kelly has really, really bad early onset osteoporosis. Oh, no. I'd just say not to get to talk. I'm dealing with like really bad arthritis. Oh, I'm sorry. I relate to the bones if that ends up happening. Yeah, you're like, sounds like.

Aaron Kelly is also struggling with bone stuff. Okay. Aaron Kelly is not dead and has bonitis, is what I typed out. Bonitis, sure. Yeah. Okay. Can I change, can I change Talking Cat to Pirate? Yes, you can.

I will let you. I love that too. Pirate. Excellent. Did I tell you, so I'm reading a really smutty book right now called the Shipwreck of bones and teeth, and they call the Captain Captain Bones. I don't know if Chadwick now. They've been calling him Captain Bones. It's like

a slutty, like Little Mermaid-esque story. It's really bad so far. I need to read more of it, but I love Captain Bones. Captain Bones. He's got a bone for you. It should just be Captain Bone, but whatever. Anyway. All right.

And I love the picture for this. It's right at the beginning. And it's, well, no, I'm going to show you after, actually. Okay. Aaron Kelly's bones. Aaron Kelly was dead. Sorry, Chadwick. Right out the gate.

They bought him a coffin and had a funeral and buried him. But that night, he got out of his coffin and he came home. Good job, Chadwick. Good job, Chadwick. We're sorry and also congratulations. Yes. Right in the first, like, two sentences. His family was sitting around the fire when he walked in.

He sat down next to his widow and he said, what's going on? You all act like somebody died. Who's dead? His widow said, you are. You died. I don't feel dead, he said. I feel fine. you don't look fine

said his widow you look dead you better get back into the grave where you belong I'm not going back to the grave till I feel dead

he said and since Aaron wouldn't go back his widow couldn't collect his life insurance without that she couldn't pay

for the coffin and the undertaker said he would have to take it back Aaron didn't care he just sat by the fire rocking in a chair

and warming his hands and feet Wow, I should have predicted Aaron sucks. Because he's not dead? No, because he doesn't. Well, he's dead, but he is dead. He doesn't feel dead. Go back and die.

He's living his fantasy. I just want to know why his widow doesn't seem happier. Well, he might not be in the best condition. Well, that's true. Now she's broke and he's rotting away in her fireside chairs. If you don't feel dead, you can work. You can go back to work Doesn't sound like he's going back to work

He's kicking his feet up by the fire He's chilling out But his joints were dry And his back was stiff And every time he moved He creaked and cracked One night The best fiddler in town

Came to court the widow Because she's keeping it tight Because she's keeping it toit Since Aaron was dead The fiddler wanted to marry her The two of them sat on one side of the fire and Aaron sat on the other side, creaking and cracking. How long do we have to put up with this dead corpse?

The widow asked. Did she kill him? The fiddler said. She must have. Like, they were fucking before, right? Her and this fiddler? Like, she has been having an affair with this man. Like, he's dead.

And the next day, the fiddler's like, hey. Uh-huh. Something must be done, the fiddler said. This isn't very jolly. Aaron said, let's dance. So the fiddler got out his fiddle and began to play. Aaron stretched himself, shook himself,

got up, took a step or two, and began to dance. With his old bones rattling and his yellow teeth snapping and his bald head wagging and his arms flipping, flopping, around and around, he went. With his long legs clicking and his knee bones knocking, he skipped and

pranced around the room. How that dead man danced. But pretty soon, a bone worked loose and fell to the floor. Look at that, said the fiddler. Play faster, said the widow. The fiddler played faster. Crickety crack, down and back.

The dead man went hopping and his dry bones kept dropping. This way, that way the pieces kept popping. Play man, play, cried the widow. The fiddler fiddled and dead Aaron danced. Then Aaron fell apart, collapsed into a pile of bones, all except his bald headbone. That grinned at the fiddler. cracked its teeth and kept dancing. Oh, my God.

Look at that, Gero and the fiddler. Play louder, cried the widow. Oh, wow. Ho, ho, said the hud bone. Ain't we having fun? The fiddler couldn't stand it. Widow, he said, I'm going home, and he never came back.

The family gathered up Aaron's bones and put them back in the coffin. They mixed them up so they couldn't fit together. After that, Aaron stayed in his grave. but his widow never did get married again. Aaron had seen to that. The end. Oh, yeah, Aaron sucks.

He, like, specifically comes back from the dead so that she can't marry anybody else. Well, if it really did happen so shortly, you might be right about there, something going on, in which case she deserves it, so I don't know. And the picture for this is great. It's basically dead Aaron, like, and his bones are falling off, but he looks so happy. And it says underneath, how that dead man danced. I don't know. I think Aaron's kind of fun.

He's like dead, but he's just like, yeah, let's keep dancing. Aaron sounds obnoxious. Yes, that's dead. I'd have killed him too. No, yeah. I think the fix would be nice to have a little bit of backstory about her getting with the fiddler or whatever. so quickly. Because then maybe we can make our minds up as well. I'm with

Chadwick. I feel like in order to make an official ruling about how I feel about Aaron, I need to have had way more information about how he died. Yeah. Could just be like two sentences more would have probably done that. Aaron like the woman poisoned him. And then he died.

They eventually did like put his bones away and he didn't come back. So I didn't like the fiddler gave up real easy to. He sure did. Yeah. I mean, that's interesting that perspective, because I think if anyone else had to play for a dead bones, and for someone else, they might think that's enough just to begin with, you know. So maybe he actually showed remarkable fortitude in playing until it was just a skull dancing. Because that woman was keeping at toyt of the Trinoligree.

Fiddler just shows up right after Aaron dies. Hey. Hey. Well, again, I'm so sad to say that the. This episode is done because it was such a huntland. This has been a delight. We've been having the best time. It's so nice to see you both. Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you. It's good to see you too. Anytime you want to tell us the story, please let us know you can come. Yay. I'm so excited. Thank you all so much for listening to Fairy Tale Fix. If you enjoyed the show, please subscribe and leave us a review wherever you can leave reviews for podcasts, five stars only, please.

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I want to know about it. Yep. And so, Chabuk's story was obviously flawless, but to comment on the flawlessness of the story, just a little addendum at the end of one of the flaming skull heads that is on the outside of Baba Yaga's house, having a chit chat with a talking cat about the drama. Uh-huh.

Yeah, maybe they narrate that last paragraph where it sums up what's happened. Hell yeah. And we never find out about the Mysterious Martin because that story was perfect. But we do find out how Aaron Kelly died and it was probably a poisoning by his wife. And they all lived happily ever after. Happy Halloween. The end.