Fairy Tale Fix - 114: The Gaslighting Girl Boss of Yore

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

We love an unplanned theme! This week on Fairy Tale Fix, we're keeping busy with Abbie reading an Italian folk tale called The Man Who Only Came Out At Night, a story that's barely about that man at all. Kelsey then reads a Scottish fairy tale entitled A Box of Fairies, where a smitten young lad is given very specific instructions, and do you think he follows them?

Okay. Back at it. Back to it. Have it recorded in basically a month. But October is a crazy time of year. So it has been. We hope you've all been well. So busy. This is the first time Abby and I have actually even like spoken since you visited in person. Since you put me on a plane back to Baltimore. We haven't really spoken outside of like texting. But yeah, yeah. I mean, we text like every day. but actually speaking but you um you had a great time in california right oh my gosh the best time it's the best coast uh every time i go back i'm always like ah this is how air should smell and taste this is how everything should look and feel these are all of the people that i love not that i don't love the people that i've met in baltimore as well but yeah but come it's oh it's just always so lovely to be back with like the people who grew up with me the people who like really know me um oh it was just an it was amazing did you have a good time oh my gosh it was so much fun after shock was incredible

um absolutely so many great bands yep what was your favorite kind of looking back uh looking back i really liked bad omens uh that was really fun but corin really fucking brought it like they were they're so much harder like they went hardcore and yeah i've been listening to way more corn since that concert i think i know and i know i said this like i think i said this like on the drive to the airport uh but like going to after shock really reminded me how much i love rock music and i've been listening to because i've been listening to a lot of like sad girl synth pop which is also good yeah totally but i was just like oh yeah i fucking love corn Like, I, and seeing them live was genuinely, like, such a cool experience.

Like, what's the name of the lead singer? I don't know, I don't know band name, band people. Jonathan, something. That guy, the corn lead singer, playing his bagpipes and, like, wearing his kilt and doing, you know, that like metal scatting that he does, like, live and in person was genuinely like such a cool experience. I'm so glad that we did that. I'm so glad he brought out the bagpipes. That was badass. It was badass. It was cool. It was very fun. Yeah. If you have a chance to go to Aftershock, everyone, definitely do it because it or any, any concert, just live music in general

is the best. It's a different vibe. You can feel the vibrations. And with having like all these people around you that know the words and singing, it's literally like a religious experience. Like that's why people sing in church and it feels so good because like music is just embedded in our spirits, I think. Oh, you know? Well said. Absolutely. There's something so natural about it, something so like magical too. Yeah. And to like have this magical shared experience and I just, I don't know. It was great. Because also like, because we were, also talking about it afterwards and also like everyone at Aftershock was like so like they're like you know because there's like thousands of people crammed into this park right but everybody was so respectful of each other's space and doing their best not to get in each other's way and doing their like everybody it was just like I don't know it was just really it was just a really wonderful day crowded into this park with all of these wonderful people who all like the same like kind of music and I don't know and as Caroline put it like looking around and seeing all these you know like freaks and gots and all hell yeah people you're

like this is where I fucking belong. This is amazing. It felt so good. By the way, this is fairy tale fix. Yes, it is. A fuck fairy tale podcast where we read classic fairy tales and quote unquote fix them for us. Yeah. And it's very fun. I'm Kelsey. I'm Abby. I'm Abby. And I think we forgot how to do the intro. We haven't done this in a long time. It has been so long. I mean, outside of the fact that October is the busiest time of our year, both personally and professionally, is also like, after shock also gave me a souvenir cold that I am still not quite over. I don't know if you can hear it in my voice.

Abby is once again fallen ill. I have the delicate constitution of a Victorian child. Adam called you Jupiter. Did you hear that conversation? No. Adam was talking to Stephen. So Stephen and Adam and AJ and I were all playing this game. Chris was there too.

We had a good group going. And Stephen was talking about- I saw it out of the corner of my eye. And I was like, I was so jealous. I almost bought the game just to play even though I, it doesn't look like a game that I would enjoy. But I was like, I know all of those people. They're all hanging out without me.

I was talking to you on the side a little bit. Yeah, we're playing Planet Crafters for anybody who's interested. I'm actually, do not recommend the game. I didn't like it. But it's like, I'm still playing it a little bit because it is fun to play with other people. Anyway, that's not the point. The point was Adam called you Jupiter. And I, because I guess Jupiter saves Earth from like all these asteroids and things.

Like it. And instead, like, it. It gets the brunt of all this stuff that would harm Earth if Jupiter didn't exist. And I just thought that was like the weirdest, nerdiest thing to say. Okay. But it was so funny. That's an amazing Jupiter fact that I love that I know that now. And thank you to Adam for knowing that fact and passing it along.

Also, that is so funny because I am. I catch all the colds. Yeah. And so Steven's okay. He didn't get sick. Steven's always fine. I attract all the mosquitoes. If I'm there,

no one else gets bit. Yep. That was another thing Stephen was talking about. Yeah, Adam's like, yeah, she's like Jupiter. Oh my God.

I love Adam. Adam is so funny. That is such a fact. That is a fact I appreciate knowing. I'm going to text him later. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And then he had to explain it to me.

And I was just like, you're such a nerd. Oh, love that man. What an excellent repository of great information. that man has in his brain. It was so random. I loved it.

It was great. I have now learned about the oboe and about Jupiter from his big, big, nerdy brain, and I like it. I feel like that's a badge of honor to be like Jupiter. Jupiter's keeping everybody else away. Keep an everybody safe. I guess I'm just attracting all of the bad energy. You're the protector. It's like carmic punishment for something I have done.

a previous life. We'll never know. We'll never know. If this is my atonement, it's, it's fine. Anyway. You had some housekeeping. I did. So I am just always blown away as usual by how wonderful our fans and listeners are.

and how much they, like, want to share with us. I recently, I got a care package from our listener, Tabitha, listener, and patron, I believe. Tabitha is the witch's apprentice. Is it the same Tabitha? I think so. It's Tabitha with two bees, right? Mm-hmm. That's her.

Amazing. Well, thank you. Patron, Tabitha. That's awesome. Yeah. You are an excellent Witches Apprentice. We really appreciate. you. And Tabitha sent a care package with, um, first of all, this book of Italian folk tales that I'm

going to be reading to you from today. The very first story I read in it, automatic, like I was like, damn, bangers. Love it. I can't, so I can't wait to get into like the storytelling portion of the episode today. But so that's one of the things that came in our care package. I'm keeping the book. Thank you. Yeah, that's fine. Tabitha also sent a card. that has a bunch of stickers in it so I'll send you a few as well but like the stickers have like a Eleanor Roosevelt quote

and then just like a bunch of just like really lovely like reading related stickers like there's this reading as my therapy aw that's so sweet and then she also just sent us sent us a little card and also

Tabitha is a freaking an artist with a pair of crochet needles. Oh, I love that. And she has crocheted these little dragon. Those are so cute.

Like, what do you call them a crochet thing? Oh my gosh. Mag magnary. Hold on. Amigurumi? I'm probably saying that wildly wrong.

Amigoo. Amigurumi. Okay, emigurumi. Amazing. Got it. Nailed it. Got it. Nailed it. That's basically what I said the first time. It is basically what you said the first time. The point is Tabitha has crocheted two dragon amigurumi. They are so cute. They are fucking adorable. They're the cutest things I've ever seen in my life.

They're so soft and so like beautifully done. I'm going to ask her if like, She has a store that sells them or something that she wants us to link. Absolutely. We'd love to share that. There's a purple one, the green one, and you were thinking we could do a roll-off for which one of us gets which one, and then I will send it to you. Always let the dice decide. We'll let the dice decide.

Oh, my gosh, but they're so cute and they're so soft, and I love them so much. Oh, that's adorable. Thank you so much, Tabith. that's amazing. Tabitha, like literally I think this might be one of the coolest things I've ever gotten in addition to an incredible book of Italian fairy tales that I cannot wait to read more of. Actually, we're going to use the manipotion dice that you got me. Oh, I love it. Yeah. And let's say like one, like I'm just going to do a roll for which one you get. One through 10, it's the green one. 11 through 20 is the purple. Okay. Okay. It's a three.

You get the green one. Woo-hoo. And then it changed to 19. Oh. It re-rolled. Now it's a three again. Now it's a 16. It's not, it's not.

I think we should probably just go with the first number, unless you want the green one. No, I love them both. So you, yes, you can have, you get the green one. Okay. Oh, he's telling you. You're little dragon. I love it so much. Me too.

So adorable. Okay, I will get this in the mail to you. Thank you. And then I will get to keep this cool little purple. The purple one has wiring in it so you can pose it. Nice. Thank you so much, Tabitha. That's amazing.

Thank you, Tabitha. This is literally one of the coolest things. It's so fucking cute. Okay. That actually reminded me that we do have a listener named, I'm sorry, it's either Tamara or Tamara, but your Instagram handle is Tammy Boreen, which is very cute. You were the winner of our book giveaway a couple months ago, like a month ago, a month and a half ago. You won the Tish Black's amazing book, Ebony Blood and Snow. So please message us back so we can send you your winnings.

We haven't heard from you. So we want to make sure that you get that. And it also came with like stickers, which I got some new stickers by the way. So all patrons, I do have something very exciting coming for you. It's just taking me forever because there are so many of you. We're so lucky.

We feel so loved. It's what a wonderful problem to have. But I do have a gift for all of you that I'm sending. So also patrons, FYI, If you do not have your address updated in Patreon, Patreon, I can never get that right. Please update your address, make sure it's correct. Some of you didn't have your address listed in there. So if you want a present from us, please, it's pretty cool, I think.

I have received my share of the news stickers. They are indeed incredible. Yeah, and it's new stickers plus a little something else, a little surprise. So make sure your address is updated. What's a surprise? I'll cut it out. So write us back. Entered your address.

Bibb! Okay. Are we ready to get into some stories? We absolutely are, yeah. I am so stoked to tell you mine. So this is a book of Italian folktales. It's just called Italian Folktales. and these were all selected and retold by Italo Calvino, I believe, is how, yep, that's a C.

It's got fancy script on the front, so I couldn't tell if that was a C or EG. But Italo Calvino, Italo Calvino published this for the first time in Italian, I believe, in the 1950s. And then it was translated in the 1980s into English. English by George Martin. And in the introduction to this book, like Atalo talks a lot about how he, like the reason why he wrote this book is he wanted there, there wasn't yet existing a like compilation of Italian folktales similar to the Brothers Grimm. And so he wanted to have that.

And it's a really interesting introduction talking about like the ways that he went about sourcing the folk tales, the ways that he went about translating. them because apparently, like, he really tried to find folk tales that were still being told orally in their original, like, Italian dialects. So not just like, you know, Italian as we know it today, but like trying to find like Sicilian folk tales that were still told in like specific Sicilian dialects and still had a lot of that original flavor. He said that he had, it was a really, it was by the 1950s, like a lot of those dialects were already like being less commonly spoken. so it was difficult to find, but he did do his best to preserve the original intonations and flavor of the stories in Italian. I don't know how much of that made it over to English, but.

Yeah, yeah. That's so cool. George Martin is less worth coming. What, like, an admirable quest, you know? Absolutely. To, like, just recognize that it's just kind of like, well, you know, we really want to have all of these sort of preserved written and written. down. Yeah. Love that. Yeah. I think I just understanding the importance of having it from that

area in the dialect. Like that's so cool. Yeah, absolutely. Important work. Important work. So thank you Italo Calvino for doing this work for Italian folktales. Yeah. In the translator's acknowledgments, George Martin says that he's deeply grateful to Italo Calvino for his encouragement. and for all the people that told the stories. Yes, yeah, all of the people that he collected the stories from. I love it. Is there any information about the people that told the story? I love when the books have that.

It's pretty rare, but. It's a pretty long introduction, so there could be. I did not read the entire introduction, but I think that it's like, he sort of did a combination of what the Brothers Grimm did. We're talking to talking to oral stories like just storytellers in various regions of Italy. But he also, there were other smaller collections of Italian folktales that he pulled from as well for this collection. So it's kind of a mixed bag.

There are a couple of Irish folktale books that have like at the very beginning of the story, it'll be like, I heard this from this person at this place. and it's just kind of neat like I know I love it I love it when that's included too me too this book does not have any of those sorts of notes where it's yeah yeah I didn't think so but you never know you never know um but like but yeah I do know the the like because I think you and I have like the same Irish folklore book or folktale book and it'll always have like a little blurb about the providence of this like online I don't think I have oh but I could have sworn I saw

Mine's not like a physical copy I've got like a fair and folk tale book of Ireland that has like those those sorts of collection notes in it but yeah Kelsey give me three predictions for

the man who came out only at night Ooh He's a vampire The, okay, hold on. It's a vampire. That's my first official prediction. I love it.

The man who came out only at night. Sounds like a fuck boy. So I'm going to put that in there. He's a vampire fuck boy. That would be such a fun fairy tale. I would really love to hear that. Ooh, I've also been, okay, so it's still. not quite Halloween when we're recording this. And I've been watching and like taking in a lot of

werewolf media. Ooh, I actually read that Goosebump's book, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp. I love that book. It's so fucking good. So I'm also going to predict, um, where, I'm just going to predict where, we're wolf babe, werewolf baby. Weirwolf, baby That's the title of Rob Zombie's song I've been taking it a lot of Weirwolf media I love it

Oh, as you should Because you also watch Ginger Snaps Did you watch Ginger Snaps back again too? No, not yet I've I had never seen Ginger Snaps I was like, this is a different movie And it was so good

I was so like excited to watch it It's ginger snaps is a great movie It's also like it's classic um but i also hadn't seen it until like a couple months ago so that's so funny i thought for sure i'd seen it and i was like yeah it was okay but i had seen ginger snaps back the like prequel that was the last movie that came out there's actually a second one too um there's three total there's three ginger snaps movies yeah i knew there was ginger snaps and ginger snaps back but yeah i guess there's the ginger snaps too i don't know what it's

But anyhow, I'm going to watch that soon, probably. Do it. And please report back. We'll do. Okay. So vampire, fuck boy. Wherewolf, baby. It's got to be one of those.

Got to have one of those things. It is still fall. Long ago, there lived a poor fisherman with three marriageable daughters, as you have. A certain young man asked for the hand of one of them. but people were wary of him since he only came out at night. Vampire. Vampire. The oldest daughter and then the middle daughter both said no to him, but the third girl said yes.

Oh, he's asking all of them? Uh-huh. Wow. I know. This could be fuck-boy behavior. That is very fuck-boy behavior. The wedding was celebrated at night, and as soon as he was, As soon as the couple was alone, the bridegroom announced to his bride, I must tell you it was secret.

I am under an evil spell and doomed to be a tortoise by day and a man at night. We're a tortoise. Oh, my God. This is way better than anything I could have ever imagined. I know. Incredible. Oh, my fucking God. And I'm going to give it to you because I just, I was like, it's a wear animal.

a fucking weird tortoise That is above and beyond anything I could have ever dreamed Oh my gosh Where a tortoise What a secret What a secret Tell me everything So he's a tortoise by day and a man by night

There's only one way to break the spell I must leave my wife right after the wedding and travel around the world at night as a man and by day as a tortoise. Also sounds very fuckboy behavior. I also leave you to go on a world tour immediately after a life.

Oh, I love it. Good for him. If I come back and find that my wife has remained loyal to me and endured every hardship for my sake, I'll become a man again for good. What? Of course she has like all on her.

her to fix him and his problems. Yeah. And stay loyal. Yeah. I'm actually fine with you being a tortoise by day, babe. Yeah. I think it's great. Tortoises are adorable. Tortoises are adorable. And that way I can pick you up and move you around where I need you to stay out of the, to stay the fuck out of my way. That's my fix for the story. That's what she does. I love that as a fix. I think that's so fun. She's like, no. And she just keeps them. as a tortoise. I think it's a great fix. Unfortunately, that is now what happens.

She says, I am willing. She's the youngest and the nicest, and she does everything for everybody else. Yeah, she's a little people pleaser. The older sisters were too smart for that. Well, they had other responsibilities. She wanted to go have an adventure. Yeah, all right.

The bridegroom slipped a diamond ring under her finger. If you use it to a good end, this ring will help you in whatever situation you find yourself. Love a magic ring. Day had dawned and the bridegroom turned into a tortoise and crawled off to begin his journey around the world. I want to know what. Also, what did he do to earn being turned into a tortoise by day? My fix for the story is we get is what did he do? Because we never find out.

I think we know. he did something to a witch he fucked with a witch somehow obviously but like specifically what because that'll change my opinion about whatever I mean he's already asked like three different women to marry him

I feel like oh I think I think he's not beating the fuck boy allegations no but the thing I like about this story is it's not about him. He's crawled off to begin his journey around the world and there we leave

him. Goodbye. Now it's all about, now it's all about the youngest daughter that he married. Hell yeah. Yeah. And about how much she rules. Yep. Okay. So anyway, he fucks off to begin his journey to become a changed man or whatever.

He's eat prey loving his way around the world as a tortoise, as a wear tortoise. It's so adorable. the bride went about the city in search of work along the way she came across a child crying and said to his mother let me hold him in my arms and calm him you'd be the first person to do that answered the mother he's been crying all day by the power of the diamond whispered the bride made the child laugh and dance and frolic and at that the child started laughing dancing and frolicing what a way to use your powers absolutely Stop crying. This should have been called the girl in her magic ring.

I know. Another excellent fix for the story is because the story's really not about him. Why is it called the man who only came out at night when he's only in the first paragraph? Next, the bride entered a bakery and said to the woman who owned it, you'll have no regrets if you hire me to work for you. The owner hired her and she began making bread, saying under her breath, by the power of the diamond, let the whole town, buy bread at this bakery as long as I work here.

From then on, people poured. I know, but it's great for her and her boss. She's a girl boss. From then on, people poured in and out with no sign of a letup. Among the customers were three young men who saw the bride and fell in love with her, obviously. But what about her tortoise husband? What about him?

If you let me spend a night with you, one of them said to her, I'll give you a thousand francs. I'll give you 2,000, said another, and I'll make it 3,000, said the third. Okay. Interesting. She collected the 3,000 francs from the third man and smuggled him into the bakery that very night. Okay. I love her. Me too.

her. Me too. She's just, she knows how to make her money. She's in her bag. I'll be with you in a minute, she told him, after I've put the yeast into the flour, while you're waiting, would you please knead the dough a little bit for me? The man began kneading and needed and needed and needed. By the power of the diamond, he couldn't for the life of him take his hands out of the dough and therefore went on kneading till daylight. So you finally finish, she said to him, you really took your time, and she sent him packing. I love her.

You too? Love her. She's a sharp business woman. She's like, yeah, I'll take your money. Then she said yes to the man with the 2,000 francs, brought him in as soon as it grew dark and told him to blow on the fire a moment so it wouldn't go out. He blew and blue and blue.

By the power of the diamond, he had to keep right on blowing up until the next morning, with his face bulging like a wine skin. What a way to behave, she said to him in the morning. You come to see me, but spend the whole night blowing on the fire. And she sent him packing. Is this worthy, like, is this where a girl boss gas light girl boss? Yes, absolutely. This is the, this is the gaslighting girl boss of your, of legend.

Sucking queen. Love her. the next night she brought in the man with the thousand francs i have to add the yeast she told him while i'm doing that go shut the door the man shut the door which by the power of the diamond came open again right away all night long he closed it only to see it immediately reopen and in no time the sun was up did you finally close the door well you may now open it again and get out Does it say that or did you ad-lib that? It says that. I love it so much. You may open it again and get out. And get out.

Seathing with rage, the three men denounced her to the authorities. In that day and time, there were, in addition to police men, women officers who were called whenever a woman was to be brought into custody. What? I know. With a job? Oh, my God. goodness. Yeah. But this girl boss also says ACAB. So when the women officers were called and came to apprehend her, she says, by the power of the diamond, said the bride, let these women box one another's ears until

tomorrow morning. Jesus. The four women officers began boxing one another's ears so hard that their heads swelled up like pumpkins, and they still went on striking each other for all they were worth. It's pretty intense. That's amazing. I love this woman. She needs a name. She needs a name. Why are we just calling her the bride?

Yeah. I'll have to think of a good one. She's the boss. She's the boss. What's Italian for Queen? Raina? Is that Spanish? I'll figure out.

You keep reading. Okay. When the women officers failed. to return with the culprit, four male officers were sent out to look for them. The bride saw them coming and said, By the power of the diamond, let those men play leapfrog. One of the male officers dropped down at once on all fours. A second one moved up, put his hands on the officers back,

and leaped over him with the third and fourth following in his tracks. Thus began a game of leaprog. Right at that point, a tortoise came crawling into view. It was the husband returning from his strip around the world. He saw his wife and behold He was again a handsome young man And a handsome young man he remained by his wife's side Up till a ripe old age the end

All right Our protagonist's name is Regina Regina Apparently that's Italian for Queen which is amazing Amazing, okay Regina Regina That's her name

Excellent fix Yeah She is Regina you were not kidding that story slapped that was so good i know it's like and it's the first one that i pulled open precisely because i was also hoping for vampire because i was like the man that only came out at night what uh was hoping for vampire it was not but it was still it was still a fucking great story that was such a great story oh my gosh i love it i loved everything about that except i would fix that she just keeps him a tortoise

she has her ring why does she need him what does she need him for yeah um i i agree he stays aware tortoise or he stays away yeah he goes on a little tortoise adventure and we never see him again and we never hear from him again he did come back i kind of wasn't expecting him to come back to be honest yeah well you know why wouldn't he she's uh wealthy now because she's just ripped all of these men off. This would be a great movie. Yeah. She works for a very successful bakery that the owner is probably just going to give her when she dies.

Like, this would be a great movie. I would love to see this as like a little animated short. Yeah. That's so cute. Oh my gosh. Incredible story. 10 to 10.

Thank you, Tabitha. Yeah. Thank you, Tabitha for sending us that book. I cannot wait to read more stories from it. I think we're going to go ahead and give you two points. Oh, you give you two points. Because he, I agree that he's a bit of a fuck boy. You're being so generous.

I know. But I just think it's crazy. I just think it's great that you said wear something. And I, you know, it's, you couldn't, I don't know if you could have guessed wear tortoise in a million years.

So I'm just going to, I'm just going to give it to you as wear animal. Okay. Yeah, that's very, I see where I'm a generous queen. I'm a generous God. Thank you.

And you also agree he was a fuck boy. And I agree. I don't think he's beating those allegations. I don't know what he did on his year abroad, but he made no promise of faithfulness. He just expected her to be faithful. He was like, I just got to try out this tortoise penis. Exactly. I mean, can you blame him?

No. You got to know what that peen do. What that peat and do. That's so funny. Oh my gosh. I love it. I love the tortoise. The wear tortoise is my favorite.

Wear anything that's not a wolf, the wear whale. Yes, wear whale. Wear anything that's not wolf is so funny to me. God damn. I love it. That was a great story. Thank you. I agree. Okay. I'm also very excited because I have a very fun story for you that I found last night.

It is called A Box of Fairies. And it is from Scotland. A Box of Fairies. I know. That's why I read it because I was like looking through like the titles. Oh, I got this from our fairies, elves, and goblins, the old stories book. Mm. Excellent. compiled by Rosalind Kerven

and it's such a fun book I really like all of the stories in here so far and the artwork is really pretty too my first prediction is captive fairies wishes is prediction number two

there will be wishes involved and the third one is hidden treasure oh yeah love it okay A box of fairies. There once was a Highland Crofter, who I looked up what crofter means, and it's like a farmer who farms on a rented farm, so he doesn't own the farm, but he farms.

Okay. So he's a crofter. You learn something new every day. Crafter. Who fell passionately in love. However, his sweetheart was a thoughtful girl who had many. suitors and wish to be absolutely sure that the man she chose to marry was the one most likely to make her happy.

Aw, I like it. Good for her. She's smart queen. Absolutely. So she insisted upon a long courtship before making up her mind. The Crofter admired her greatly for this and was willing to spend as many months or even years as it took to win her. Aw. We love a consenting king. Yes. I love that. However, there was one aspect of the arrangement that troubled him greatly, and that was the distance he had to travel in order to see her, for although she lived only a couple miles away as the raven flies, their houses lay on opposite shores of a deep firth, which was so full of treacherous, rocks, and dangerous currents that no boat could safely cross it. Thus, although they could wave to each other across the water, the only way he could reach here was to undertake a long

journey, up his side of the firth, and down along her side of it. And at the end of each visit, he had to travel all the way back again. Long distance is hard. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Especially when that sucks that you can, like, see across the water. You just can't boat across the water. Why no boat? Why not build boat, is Abby's question. It says the water's just too, like, dangerous for a boat. Oh, okay. It's like currents and. Yeah. The sea be a harsh mistress. The sea is a harsh mistress. That's very funny.

When he wasn't daydreaming of his sweetheart, the crofter pondered this problem long and hard. The only possible solution was to build a bridge across the water. But, of course, he had neither the means nor the money to undertake such a major work. So he asked around for ideas, and everyone gave him the same advice. Go and consult the old witch of the nuts. yes yes that you weren't expecting witch in a fairy story and i should have been so an excellent advice i like that everyone is like yeah just go see the witch just go see the witch she'll sort you out it's what i do so the crofter set off on a different journey this time over the moors

and under the mountains to a lonely headland where a tiny tumble-down hut was perched on the rocks. On a rickety, rackety bench in front of it sat a deep-eyed crone, gazing at the shifting lights of the sea. She greeted him kindly, beckoning him to sit before her on the grass and describe his problem, which she listened to with great sympathy. I can give you just what you need, she said. But you had better ask the lad to operate. operate it for it needs someone with enough power to keep control of it and a laird the laird I know I have little notes written in here the laird is like a landlord or landowner oh okay which I don't know

why the laird has power but I mean like power in the political sense probably like sure all right No, no, no, no, no. Anyway, Laird's got control. He's got power. She hobbled into her hut, returning with a large box, thickly wrapped in bunches of Heather and tightly bound with plated reed ropes. Make sure you take this straight to the lad, she said, giving it to him. Meanwhile, remember this warning. You must avoid all temptation to open it yourself.

Oh, okay. obviously he's going to open it I mean I hope he does I mean And it's also It's a box It's a box It's a box

Full of fairies What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? The crofter set off for home excitedly carrying the box And wondering what on earth it contained It was not all heavy

But it seemed to be full of loose things moving about. And when he put his ear to it, he heard very strange sounds, like agitated high-pitched voices. Weird. I wonder what could be in there. Of course, he was mindful of the witch's somber warning. But the further he got from her, the less he was inclined to heat it. Yeah, baby, open it. If you tell a man not to do something, they are going to do that thing. The old hag has underrested me because I'm just a crofter, he thought indignantly.

Yeah, damn straight. She insulted you. She doesn't realize that I'm an intelligent, capable man. Of course, I won't be student enough to actually open the box, but there's no harm in taking a quick peep inside before I go crazy wondering about it. Absolutely. I'm on, I'm on his team. I'm on his side. Open the box.

Abby's on board. I'm on board. He sat on a boulder, carefully untied a strand of reed rope, and pushed aside the heather covering. Then he took the knife from his belt and poked at the soft wooden box until he had bored a tiny hole into it. A shrill blast of air came shooting out rapidly, followed by hundreds of thumb-sized fairy men. Yes. They leaped at the crofter, poking his chest and belly with sharp fingers, pulling at his hair and screaming all at once. Master, what do you want of us? Give us work. We are working fairies. Work, work, work. You must keep us busy.

They were like outsized ants crawling all over him. They were buzzing as angry as bees. The Crofter realized he would never be able to catch them all, let alone shut them back in the box again. In desperation, he shouted, all right, yes, I'll give you work. I know, go and strip all the heather off that hill behind this one. At once, the fairies and a humming spiral. Spirile flew off to do his bidding. Ooh, I love this. I love this idea of, like, fairies as, like, kind of, like, a swarming insect of some kind. Mm-hmm. I know. Isn't that, like, great descriptions? That's really cool.

Yeah, I love it. The crofter watched them, and as soon as he saw that they had indeed started their laborers on the far hill, he tossed the box away and then went racing over the moors toward his craft as fast as he could. Oh, honey, they're magic. Oh, honey But within minutes, the fairies were swarming after him, shrieking Master, we've done it, we're finished, the hill is stripped bare, we've piled the heather neatly, see, see, give us more, work, work, we must work. The crofter looked back, sure enough the hillside had sent them to the once, the crofter looked back, sure enough the hillside he had sent them to, once purple with Heather and

full flower was now a desert of bare dark earth and rock oh my god they're just like locusts they're like the plague he thought nice emmy see me me and old crofter whatever his name is we we understand each other we're on the same length i too would probably have poked a hole in the box because i am intelligent and how dare she tell me what to do I can't blame him. He was just going to peek inside. He wasn't going to open it. I know, because he's a smart man.

How can I get rid of them? Then he reminded himself why the witch of the Ness had given him the box. Be still, he shouted. Be silent while I give you your next instructions. To his relief, the fairies obeyed. Fly to my croft, he went on excitedly, describing exactly where it stood on the end. edge of the fir. Opposite, you will see another cottage. Build me a bridge across the water

between them. We'll do it, master. Work, work. We love work. Let's get started. I love all the different voices you're doing. I imagine they're all talking over each other. To be sure. Yeah. The Crofter could see that they would build him the bridge he longed for in no time. But then what would he do with them? He couldn't get them to strip any more hills or the beautiful highlands would turn into barren desert. Luckily, he had a brain wave. Jimmy Neutron brain blast. I love it.

He had a brain smart. He called the fairies to attention and said, Hold on, you mustn't build this bridge out of stones. Instead, use sand. Master, we'll do it, no matter how long it takes. We'll never get tired. Work, work, work. The fairies flew away in a twittering brown whirlwind.

The weary crofter trudged home. By the time he arrived, he found they had already almost finished building a truly extraordinary arched bridge, fashioned entirely from sand. Oh, my God. Very industrious. Because it took him, what, like a couple hours to finish walking home? Yeah, I know these fairies. They work fast.

They really do love to work. Just then, the time. tide began to come in. At first, the waves only lapped gently at the furthest edge of the sandy structure. But then they grew stronger and began to wash right over it. Within

moments, the entire bridge had collapsed. At once, the fairies cried. Broken, broken, we must start again. Over and over. Excellent, splendid, more work. In this way, the ferry's construction project went on, through one tide

after another, day after day. after day with no prospect of ever ending. Each time the sea ebbed, the fairies eagerly fashioned new bricks from the loose sand and piled them up, and each time the sea flowed in, all their work was destroyed. Month after month, this continued year after year after year. Sorry. Yeah, take breath. No one knows what became of the crofter and his sweetheart, but the fairies are definitely

still there on the Firth, beavering away at their never-ending task, for whenever a storm breaks over the Firth, they can be heard moaning and crying through the wind, impatient to resume their labors. The end. Wow. So, I looked this story up because it's from a specific region in Scotland. Okay. So, pull up my notes. Okay, so it's a common story from Scotland, from what I've gathered, of the fairies endlessly trying to build a bridge. And from what I found on the Google, it's usually, this says the Witch of the Ness, so I assumed it was Locke Ness. But from other stories, it's from Tane to Dornick, across a bay called the Kyle of Tong. And another story, it's from Roshire to Sutherland. So I guess it has different origins, but basically, I think the taint to Dornick is the most common one that comes up. And it's in another story, it's one of the McKay chieftains named Angus who's trying to see his sweetheart. Oh, okay.

And it's called The Witch of Ray gives him the box. And I have, I'll put all this in our show notes. So if you want to like read the original tales from, not that. the original tales but you know from museums and stuff that i found yeah it'll be in our show notes um and in the story i was just talking about the witch of ray tells them to give the box to the wise woman of tarbett in the roshire and then she can command the fairies and in that story the fairies are much more displeased with their work being destroyed every night they're a lot sadder about it because in this story it's made it seem like they're like yay more work they're

like oh good like they're happily toiling away forever as they want. Which I do. I love that as a creative choice because it's kind of sad to be like, oh, their work gets destroyed every night. Mm-hmm. But like, but it's like a, but like, but in that it's more like fairies as a force of nature that have to be like diverted somehow.

Yes. And that this is the way you keep them. Keep them busy. Yeah. Or they will just destroy something. Um, I also have a note that from the. the point below Tane, a line of breakers, people call the Grizzan Briggs, marks the line where the ferries are working. So there's actually a picture of it, so where the tide is low and there's

like a little sand bridge that you can see. And I'll send it to you. Oh my gosh, yes, please. We'll post it online. But it's really cool. I love stories that are like, you know, it's from something specific that explains the environment. I know. Like, that's always, that's always so fun. So I just sent it to you, you can kind of see like the little sand line in the distance. Yeah, but there's just like a sandbar, like two sides of a sandbar like kind of reaching for each other. And I bet like, yeah, that the amount of sand there probably does ebb and float depending on

tied. That's so fun. Isn't that cool? That is really cool. I also love this concept in the, in the story and like the very, the very, the very, the variations on it of like that there's all of these regional witches yeah exactly very cool like the witch from this area like and maybe they all just trade the box back and forth depending on when they need something and then this man kind of you know cocked it up mm-hmm you gotta find

somebody who can actually command the fairies I mean I think he did a pretty good job though that was pretty ingenious it was pretty ingenious but he didn't get ultimately what he wanted and if he And, like, I bet the witches know how to command the fairies and then command them back into the box once they've completed a task. I also think it's interesting that there is no information about what happened to him and his sweetheart. Like, I know. It's really not the point of the story. We don't know if they ever actually got to, like, maybe they, maybe they got together and they just moved. Yeah.

Away from the fairies. Away from the fairies in the sandbar situation. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I kind of like that. I kind of like that it ends without knowing. Yeah, open-ended. You kind of make it up. So I really don't have a fix for the story.

I think it's really just like, I love a great folk tale that explains the environment. Yeah, exactly. Like, because like to, to wish that he'd actually completed his task and, like, done what he'd been told would be like, then But then we wouldn't have an explanation for this sandbar. Yeah. Out here. So I like it too. And I like that I also like the open-endedness because then it could fit into so many other legends.

So I do like that it's a, I like the variation that it's like this is actually about like, you know, a chief of the McKay clan and his sweetheart. So maybe, you know, maybe they did get together or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. And just that you can still hear the fairies moan. and screaming out there. Poor fairies, I do feel bad for them.

It makes me wonder what would happen if you had told them, like, I guess they like, in this story, they like to work. So it's like, but I feel like that's a little bit of like a nice twist rather than like they're slaves to whoever's commanding them. And yes. What would happen if you set them free essentially? What would that look like?

would that also cause chaos, that could be a fun follow-up. If they were ever released from their task of building this bridge. Yeah. I don't, yeah, I don't know. Like, I mean, that's why like I, you know, I maybe my only fix is sort of more information about like how they ended up in the box. Like, did the witches trap them there? Specifically, like they were a play, like just basically a plague of locusts on the world.

And they trapped them. this box so that they could be like put to use yeah because that would be cool so fun yeah yeah very all right oh and uh they were captive fairies uh there was no hidden treasure but were there wishes um in the sense that you were thinking i mean i guess he kind of had a wish not in the sense that i meant he they they they They were, he was, he certainly commanded them to do things. But also, he didn't really get his ultimate wish, which was an easy way to see his beloved. Which also I really like about the story is that he didn't want them to strip Scotland bearer of stones.

So he immediately was like build the bridge from sand. Like he didn't get his wish. Mm-hmm. But, um, but because he cared about the environment, which I think is also really neat. I know. I mean, and I love also that like, he cares about this, he cares about like doing this on this woman's timeline, you know, I just, seems like a great guy. Seems like a great guy. I, I like him. I approve. Can't really follow

instructions very well, but I mean, he can't, but you know, it's because he's a thing. He's, he has to know. He got to know. And I, and I, honestly, I got that. I understand it. I get him. I get it too. I probably wouldn't. He had done the same, but I don't blame him. Yeah, do you think you'd have followed instructions? I mean, after all the fairy tales I've read at this point, definitely doing whatever the witch tells me to do. Yes. Yeah.

Whatever the witch or the bird tells us to do is what should be done. Yeah. Maybe ask questions? Sure. Yeah, I mean, what's in the box? Yes, what's in the box? Can you like, hey, the curiosity is going to draw. drive me a little crazy. Can you tell me

what's in the box, just so that I know? Because otherwise I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to open it. Look. Could he also have commanded the fairies to use sustainable resources to create a bridge? Could he have, like, I don't know. I just have,

I feel like he could have used the fairies. Could he have also gotten the Laird while they were creating the sand bridge? to yeah i mean you know exactly like could have been else yeah bring the laird or the other witch around to corral them maybe he gave up a little too easily he possibly did because i mean because like i also because like it's like he's getting that he's having them build it out of sand so that they'll be forever distracted and like working on it um but yeah no i feel like while they're while they're figuring that out he's

could have gone and gotten the other witch or the Laird or whoever. But then again, that doesn't explain the like environment. And that's why the story exists. Exactly. Just fun. You know, that's what the podcast is for. It's perfect.

It's perfect as is. Love it. Excellent. Thank you for telling me that story. I loved it. This is a great episode. I like both of those stories. Quite a bit.

Me too. They both involved keeping somebody busy. Mm-hmm. So I thought that was kind of fun when you were talking about how she He kept him kneading the dough. Absolutely. So it was because, like, you laughed. So you laughed pretty hard at that.

And I was like, I was wondering. Like, because it is funny. But there's a little bit of a theme in our stories. Yeah. This theme is keeping people busy so that they stop bothering you. And you can get your other stuff done. Mm-hmm. Love it.

Okay. I think that's the, that's the end where it's quick and dirty today because, boy, October. is busy. So we release ourselves and we release you back into the wild to go do whatever it is you would like to do. If one of those things that you would like to do happens to be supporting our podcast, first of all, we're already very grateful that you listen.

If you want to do more things, you can go to anywhere you are listening to your podcast and leave us a five-star review. You can also like leave us a rating or if you wanted to put words in your review. What's our word for today? Keep them busy? I love it.

All right. Just write keeping them busy. As your as your review along with five stars, that would be excellent. You can also go to Patreon.com forward slash fairy tale FixPod if you would like to consider donating to our podcast. We have a lot of extra bonus

content up there. We also have some free bonus content up there these days as well, where if we had an extra long conversation that was really fun but doesn't fit the main podcast, we've just been like, for example, I had a rant about Alien Earth a few months ago. Did I post that? I honestly can't remember. If it hasn't been posted, it will be. at some point. We also have extended like Gilmore Girls conversations that

one of us will get around to posting someday. Those are free which is so you can go listen to those at fairy tale at patreon.com forward slash fairy tale fix pod and then you can also sign up for other content for I think like

around $3 a month at this point starting. so please go do that if you're so inclined um yeah thank you i'm trying to remember if i even had a fix for my story um oh yeah was that she kept him the tortoise well that was my yeah oh right exactly um and so uh she said the woman from oh actually no okay like the The fix is, it's not called the man who only comes at night. It's called the woman with the diamond ring. Her name is Regina.

And at the beginning of the story, she says, I actually kind of love that you're aware tortoise. And then they just live together with his magic ring and all of the same stuff happens. But he doesn't have to go on like a year long journey. Amazing. And mine didn't have any fixes. Perfect.

My fix is that we go to Scotland some day. and visit that bank. Because that sounds awesome. Yes. Perfect. And they all lived. Happily ever after the end. The end.