Fairy Tale Fix - 120: Love Dem Kids

Episode Date: March 17, 2026

It's Irish fairy tale month (AKA the best time of the year)! Abbie reads an old Irish folk tale that's sure to bring a happy tear to your eye with The Spinners of Blessings. Then we take a sharp turn with Kelsey's dark Irish folk tale, The Abhartach, thought to be the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Say again, what was that word? You're incatacitated. I'm incatacitated. You have a little, the littlest fluffy baby. The littlest fluffy baby. Look at her little white paw going up in the air. Bree is making air biscuits on Abby's lap right now, and it's the cutest. She's a good girl.

She is. She's so sweet. Oh, my gosh. I want that cat. Give me that cat. She's pretty great. We could put her in that cloning pot from your story over the weekend or in the bonus episode. Oh, yeah, hundreds of Breeze.

Yeah, we'll just get hundreds of Bree kitties. Aw. Because she's pretty good. This is a pretty good cat. She's such a good cat. Yeah, I think, I think as cats go, she's a pretty much, she's a premium example. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Incredible. Well, now she's just grooming herself. She's happy, like, I am holding her on her back, like, and propping her up like a child in my arms. And she is just happily purring and grooming herself away. She is baby. She is baby. She is also desperate for attention. By the time this episode comes out, comes out, Stephen will be back. So nobody get any, nobody get any big ideas.

but Stephen's been gone for a couple weeks. Yeah. He is usually Kitty's friend because doggy is usually attached to me at the hip. So early missed. And Kitty's been so lonely. She's like, who will pet me? You will pet me. Abby, I said earlier, Abby, you're a single mom now.

I'm a single mother. Gotta give your kids equal attention. Absolutely. When, you know, we do play favorites in this family. So I'm having to figure out how to be a good mother to Stephen's favorite child. How they both? We're doing okay. How's Obie been behaving?

He's been a little shit. I can't remember if I told you. He was like testing you. Yes, exactly. Because I'm the permissive parent. Oby, I mean, Stephen is the disciplinarian. And so now that, you know, Stephen, Stephen is gone for a couple weeks and Obie wants to know if the rules are still the rules.

They are. There's still the rules. I'm just usually not the one who has to enforce them. What are one of the rules that he breaks? He's been testing me about like meal times. So like we have him, we have him sit and wait for his food. and he tried to go for it the instant I put it in the bowl a couple of times last week and I'm like, no, no,

you still have to sit and wait. He thinks that I won't care if he sneaks over to kitty's litter boxes and tries to eat kitty's poop. Oh, no. I do care and I don't want him to do that. No. Why does he want to do that? Because dogs are disgusting.

The reason is that dogs are fucking disgusting Um Yeah, I don't know He's just like little little things Like that Um, he is just trying to see If those rules are still in place When Stephen is usually the person who yells at them

If he tries to do those things. Those are still the rules, my boy. Oh, be. I know, he's so stupid. And then also, you know, know, he tries to harass the cat more. Yeah, when I got on, he was trying to get under the bed to get to Brie. Mm-hmm.

And I finally told him to fuck off and he's fucked off somewhere. Yep. Which means that she felt comfortable getting into my lap for a little attention. Aw. She just popped up on the screen. We'll have to post a video. Yeah, we can definitely post it. She's so adorable.

She's so cute. That does remind me that he fucked off somewhere. I don't know where. You should go check on him. I'm going to go check because the other things that he's been testing me on is maybe I can rip stuff up. Uh-huh. Yeah. Better go.

Better go get that dog. What? Don't eat the car. Got the car? Oh, what am I yelling at you for? You're a dog. So where was he? I'm happy to report.

He is lying quietly downstairs on the couch. Aw, good boy. He didn't even rip anything up. He's coming back upstairs now. I can hear him jingling up the stairs. Because I think now he knows he's not in trouble. Oh, yeah, there he is. There he is.

He's also not feeling well. I don't know if I told you this either, but one of the other, his other little rebellions was I left him to go to work yesterday. Yeah. And he pulled a rag out of the laundry basket that was in the basement and he ate it. So he spent most of yesterday throwing up. Aw, poor boy.

Poor boy. And he still doesn't feel quite right today. So he's been very subdued. He's like, oh, he's really at his best when he's sick. At his best. When he's sick or tired is when he's the. best boy. All right.

Bye, Obie. What are your earrings, by the way? Are you wearing pickle earrings? Yeah, they're pickled earrings. They are pickles.

I was like, those look like pickles, but that can't be it, can it? They are pickles. Nice. Quick story time, and then I promise,

we'll talk about something besides me. No, I love it. I want to talk about you forever. Oh, my goodness. I love you so much. I went to the grocery store today.

and I my day was absolutely made absolutely made by the cashier telling like asking me oh are you like an an art or science teacher and I was like no why totally give those vibes I see it she told me she was like yeah you know you just remind me of my middle school art teacher and you kind of give miss frizzle vibes yeah and I was like thank you so much that's the highest compliment you can give someone. That, like, telling me that I remind you of, of your art teacher and or Ms. Frizzle is just the highest of honors. Thank you so much. That was really made my day.

It's definitely the pickle earrings and my tattoos. Yeah. Because it was actually, it's like 70 degrees out today. So I could actually have like my guns out for the first time in months. Yeah. Show off your tats. Yeah. Show up my cool tats out.

And my cool pickle earrings. and I've got my hair in kind of like a loose, messy braid and it's getting really long. So I'm just really glad that I was giving off like hippie art teacher vibes. I feel like art and science teachers are also like the like ultimate safe space. Like I don't know. All of my art and science teachers have been the coolest. Absolutely. My like art and science teachers were always the teachers that I felt like most comfortable with.

Like I could talk to them about anything. Yeah. It's just a vibe. I totally see that. I love it. Yeah, I can't look how long your hair's gotten, too. I know. It looks great.

I love it. I've always liked it really long and in a braid because it looks like it reminds me of like a horse's ponytail. I know. Thank you. Thank you very much. That is also the vibe that I'm going for. Yeah, you look like an Elvin Queen.

Thank you. Oh my goodness. Elvin Queen, Ms. Frizzle. I know. These are incredible titles for me. also like horses like I also like my braid makes you think of like a show horse or a show pony it does it always has ever since uh junior high mm-hmm I love breeding my hair the only thing you need to do for me now is wear more sequin earrings I don't know if we've

ever mentioned this but one of the first things Abby and I ever experienced as friends was Abby would wear like these sequin like blue silver sparkly earrings well they They started blue and then they became silver as the years went by, but I never, I didn't stop wearing them because I knew you liked them so much. I did. And I would always run up and like blow on them because they were like, yeah. I remember. It absolutely delighted me. I felt, I felt so special and I loved having your attention. So I wore those ears for a really long time. We have been. That's kind of wild. I know, but I remember those earrings too. I remember them very fondly.

I should definitely try to get a new pair. You should try to get some pairs too so that I can return the favor. I should. Oh my gosh. Now that I have pierced ears, I wait until it's 29 to pierce my ears. So I'm only now. But now you can have long dangly sequin earrings. Why haven't I thought of that?

I think the memory just came back. Yeah, I definitely need some sequinie. And they're like lightweight, but like big. I love big earrings. But obviously I don't like heavy earrings. No, heavy earrings hurt. But I do like earrings that take up a lot of space. Yeah.

The bigger, the better. I wore these like big hoops the other night. And I love how they look, but they just, they're also like with hoops. I feel like they get caught in your hair. It's very much like I should have worn my hair up kind of situation. Yeah, they do. Like, yeah, hoops are for wearing your hair up, like big ones anyway. I feel like most big earrings you look best with your hair up.

Yeah. I love that look. I love earrings. I am glad I have finally pierced them. I'm glad you did too because you look really cute with earrings. I don't wear them when I'm podcasting, though. It bugs me when it's like under my headphones. Yeah, I can see that.

I think mine, my ears press in flat enough that it doesn't. You've also had your ears purse just way longer. ears are so sensitive. Oh, I got a story. I accidentally repierced my ear. Oh my God. Yes. Tell the people. Tell the people about this. So my right ear, I don't know if any, this is probably the most boring story in the world, but I don't care. It's fine. This is our podcast. You're talking to me and I think every, I think every single one of your stories is fascinating. Oh, thank you. Well, like my right ear is always giving me a little trouble. It's just really sensitive. And I couldn't, some Sometimes I can't get like short earrings or the ones that curve. Like it's a hoop kind of thing.

And I just couldn't get it in. And I've gotten complacent with my ears now that I just like was like, oh, just shove it in. And I felt it snap. And I was like, oh no. So I was like, okay, I won't wear earrings. And it wasn't like, it did start bleeding as I was driving to work. It was like, and it got all puffy.

and it was so, it hurts so bad. I hated it. It gives me the hebi-jeeves, too. That's like one of the main reasons I haven't ever, I took so long to pierce my ears was like just the, like, the idea of like a hole in your ear, like, and like a wound in your ear just kind of freaks me out. I don't know. Yeah.

I mean, you know, that's, that's fair. But it's fine now. It's just, it's a hole in your body that you're keeping their own purpose. It only took like a day to heal, so it's fine. Yeah. But like. Yeah. Like, can you put earrings back in and like without hurting yourself?

Yeah, I put an earring back in like the next day. Okay. I spent like a day and let it sit. And I was like, but you also can't let it heal completely. Like you have to put something in it otherwise. Because like it, the thing with earrings that always does kind of, that is kind of weird and reminds you that like you are a biological machine. Like like it like it's these little things that remind you that you're an animal. Yep.

it is a wound and it will heal. Three hours later. What were we actually talking about? What was the... It's Irish Fairy Tale Month. What was the real topic? Right. Irish Fairy Tale Month.

Wait, what do you mean the real topic? The concert tickets topic? Because we branched off into concert tickets and stuff about families and... Yeah. went all over the place. Bands we'd like to see at some point in our lives and how we feel about moving and are we recording for real now? We're recording for real.

We've been recording for maybe like an hour and a half. We just keep finding new topics. We went off the rails, talked about some personal, personal things. But the most important thing is that it's Irish fairy tale month. And this is fairy tale fix. Oh my God. It is fairy tale fix. And I'm Abby.

I'm Kelsey. And this is the show where we read each other classic folk and fairy tales from around the world and we fix them. Indubidably, definitively, for all time, the real canon ending. Amazing. Perfect intro. I don't remember what we were talking about or we're going to have to cut that out. We're going to have to cut all of that. We went off the rails.

But that's what Irish fairy tale month is for. We had some stories. Oh, we talked for a really long time about ear piercings. I don't know how much of that you want to leave it. I might leave some of that. Yeah, you got to leave in the bit about your pickle earrings and how you look like an art teacher. Absolutely. That will 100% make the edit.

Excellent. Because it's true and awesome and good for me. I'm really excited for the story that I'm about to tell you if we just want to jump right into it. Yes. I hope it's not the story. I'm going to tell you. Maybe we should start messaging each other about what stories we're reading for Irish

fairy tale. We probably should. But this one, so this one is actually from my wise women book. Oh, awesome. Okay. So I'm pretty sure it'll be different than the one you're planning.

But yeah, when we're both reading out of like our, you know, fairy and folk tales of Ireland books, we should probably tell each other ahead of time. Yeah. No, this story is called the Spinners of Blessings. I love that.

And not only is it an Irish fairy tale, but it's specifically an Irish traveler folk tale. So I wanted, so instead of Geography Corner, because the geography is the same as it always is with Irish fairy tales. This time, I guess this is like ethnicity corner or something, subculture corner. specific people corner. So the Irish travelers are a group of people that they're often associated with the Roma people in the sense that the nomadic lifestyle is very similar. But they are two distinct genetically distinct ethnic groups. And there's a couple of different theories behind why the travelers became such a, a large population, most of them having to do with various periods of English coming,

conquering parts of Ireland and displacing people. They're often kind of like iconically featured in various like movies and books and also used as sort of like a fantasy ethnic group a lot of times somewhat problematically in a lot of different books. But you know, these are the people that you would see called like the tinkers who ride around in like brightly painted covered wagons. And they also do a lot of, you know, fixing and mending things. And like a lot of what we think of as Irish folk music, a lot of that does come from traveler traditions, that there's a certain kind of like that sort of lively folk melodies that were used to hearing associated with Irish people.

A lot of that is traveler culture. All I can think of that is the sinners right now. I mean, yeah. I mean, the song that they do in sinners is a more traditional, like, Irish, like settled Irish. So like, so this is the thing is like, the character. The character. I wonder, I wonder if maybe he was a, he was a traveler. Although I think they implied that he was like a more of like a Celtic.

Okay. Somebody. Mm-hmm. I don't know. Who knows how long he's been dead. Spoiler alert. He was the devil. Spoiler.

Big spoiler alert. My baby girl. Oh, my goodness. I wish I had a cat on my lap. Well, you go find your cat. She doesn't jump up on my lap because she's too big. And she's very clumsy. Like, she falls off.

I can put her on my lap. But it has to be a very specific, like, situation for her to stay. Aw. You're being very distracting. It's cute as hell. But you're rubbing on my mic cord now.

Okay. And so the reason why I kind of like picked this story and wanted to do a traveler story was because I just watched a movie called Into the West for the very first time. Uh-huh. Which is I highly recommend it. I think you'd really like it.

It's a movie about a pair of like traveler children who encounter like who like they're kind of they're living with their father. They lost their mother seven years ago. And a beautiful white horse comes out of the Western seas and takes these children on an adventure across Ireland. And it doesn't really sweet movie. Doesn't drive them into the ocean and drown them. I mean, that is the, that is part of the ending is like, it does take one of the children back into the ocean with him. Oh, damn. I love the traditional Irish folklore, though.

Absolutely. And it's kind of, it's, it, because like being saying someone's gone into the West is, you know, an Irish saying for someone's died. I didn't know that. Yeah. They explained this in the movie. I didn't know that either. Amazing. Anyway, great movie, and that also featured travelers in a pretty distinct way.

Travelers, by the way, had not been an acknowledged ethnicity in Ireland until 2017. They had to advocate for it really hard to actually be recognized as an official Irish ethnicity and not just those. annoying people who won't give up, who won't like settle down and live somewhere sedentary. Yeah. So that's a recent, a recent development. Anyway, that's about as much as I know about travelers. I hope I haven't said anything like low-key problematic or stereotypical. I mean, let us know.

But I do think they're really cool people. Yeah. Their history is really interesting. Highly encourage everybody to kind of look into it a little more. Very cool. And yeah. Ethnicity Corner. Fuck yeah.

Ethnicity Corner. So the story's name is, it comes from the Wisdom for the World section of the book. And as a reminder, this is wise women, myths and stories from midlife and beyond by Sharon Black. By Sharon Blackie. Mm-hmm. And the story is called The Spinners of Blessings. Give me three predictions for what you think the Spinners of Blessings is about. Okay. First, first prediction, they are, it's literally they are spinning blessings. So when they're spinning their blessing someone or something.

Okay. Two, hmm, something gets stolen. Ooh. Like, like the thread or the actual spinning wheel or something gets stolen. and that's important. And three, God, I want it. A mean landlord.

Give me a mean landlord. Give it to us. It's been a hot minute. Okay. Long, long ago, a great community of old women traveled and worked in these lands. They wore their gray hair neatly braided down their backs and long black dresses. that were striped at the hem with red, yellow, and white. Sometimes there were other stripes of different colors, too,

one for each of their children. They carried small, beaded pouches at their hip, decorated with metals, tokens, and buttons. Each afternoon, the old women would roam the land, gathering up beets and other roots, herbs, flax, and the fallen bark of crabapple trees, placing them in finely woven willow baskets that they carried on their backs.

What a life. You know? What a life. It sounds awesome. It does sound awesome. And also, so according to Wikipedia, these pouches that the women are wearing in the story are very like traditional, like, traveler,

cultural attire. And that they're kind of famous for that specific kind of beatwork. Nice. Yeah. Every now and again, they would pause next to a thorny thicket or bramble bush to tease away whips and drifts of snuggled fleece. Whips, that's not what it was.

to every now and again they would pause next to a thorny thicket or bramble bush to tease away whips and drifts drifts wow of snagged fleece rips and tips yeah each day at sunset the old women returned together to their camp they would spend the evenings working hard together dyeing the wool they'd gathered that day in an enormous cast iron pot that bubbled over a great roaring fire and into the cauldron it would go. White wool or brown, gray wool or cream, tan wool or black. But the yarn that came out of that pot was always colored a rich blood red. Mm-hmm. All night long, the women would spin the newly dyed fleece, then weave charms and prayers into the woollen cords they were making so that each of the children of the world might receive one and be blessed. Point for Kelsey.

You love that. That's so sweet. Yeah. They sang as they worked. songs of hope and joy. The old women didn't sleep until dawn, and they woke each day as the sun reached at zenith, ready to roam and gather again till sunset. On and on day after day, they continued this necessary work. Years, centuries, and eons passed,

and more and more children began to be born into the world. The old women struggled to keep up. They worked as hard as they could, but there was no way they could possibly create enough red cords for each newborn child. One evening, as they took turns to stir the dipot, the old women agreed, the old women agreed on a solution. Together they would weave one single red cord long enough to encircle the world that no child would be left without a blessing. There you go.

Hell yeah. I mean, you know, works harder, not harder. Yeah, exactly. I love that. It was mighty work, and the old women forgot to take time to eat or rest. Their fingers grew dark from feeding wood, turf, and coal to the great fire that roared beneath the dye pot and from the dust of the ashes. Each day they gathered, died, and spun, weaving their prayers and blessings into the seemingly endless cord. The camp grew ever more silent as they focused all their attention on the work.

It was hot, hard toil, this constant dying and spinning next to the fire. Sweat ran down their faces, dripping onto the wool, rinsing the dye from the dye from the fire. rinsing the dye from the cord, and little by little, the cord began to turn as gray as the old women's braided hair. What does that mean? You're going to love it. And why do they care so much about all these kids? Who cares? I just keep thinking the story is the opposite of fuck them kids.

No, it's love them kids. These kids bless the children. The children are our future. Aw, it's so nice. is so nice. Couldn't be me. Too selfish. I would never do this.

Sorry. That's just the truth. Nope. It's just the truth. Same. I would be very supportive. I might help gather a little bit and then I would go to sleep. All right.

Well, good luck, everyone. Good hustle out there. Why is it turning gray? I gots to know. You gots to know. As time passed, the cord grew ever more silken and gossamer thin, but it was still just as strong as the old women who wove it. And still these old...

I think I just realized what's happening. Do you think you guess what's happening? Something about spiders. Something about spiders. Yay! Spider, origin story. Oh my God, I love it. This is why we have spiders and why you should be nice to them.

Fuck, yeah. I have a spider story to tell you. after. Okay. I love it. Oh my God. I'm so excited. Okay. And still these old women worked on. The women too grew thin and bony, fine in stature. And though their hearts were as strong and warm as ever, they began to shrink. Some of the women worked one or two of their fingers away and the remaining fingers became slender and long as they themselves grew smaller and smaller. Yeah, they did. Others kept their gathering baskets tied tightly to their backs, and they didn't ever take them off at all as they focused all their attention

on gathering, dying, spinning, and weaving the cords. Eventually, they became to fade and became creatures less of this world and more of the other world. I love it. And after a time, they looked like little more than bundles of fine, deft twitching fingers with gathering baskets on their backs, bearing baskets on their backs, bearing the now faded stripes and shadings that had once embellished their dresses and their beaded pouches.

These old spinning women were the first spiders. And still they continue their tireless work every night spinning gossamer thin cords. I know. It's so sweet. That's so sweet. Spinning gossamer thin cords and protective blessings in webs. I like it so much is making me cry a little bit. I know.

It's so like, like to the, day they're still weaving. For the children. For the children. For all of us. So that we can all have nice lives. Aw. Such a nice story.

Makes me so emotional. I cried when I read it earlier and thought I was over it, but I'm not. Oh, that's so good. Anyway, okay, spinning gossamer thin cords and protective blessings and webs that cover so much of our world, bringing protection and healing to all people. amazing. The end. Oh my God.

That's such a great story. I love that so much. I never would have to guess that that's where it was going. Right. I was also surprised because I was like, okay, this is nice, but I might keep looking while I was reading it. And then I'm like, oh, my God, it's spider origin story. Yes, for sure.

And it's so sweet. And it's, I think we can all use some old. spider blessings right now, the whole world. Yeah, and be nice to spiders. Be nice to spiders because they're trying to make life better for you. Or, you know, trying to trap something to liquefy its insides and then suck it out. Everybody's got to eat, Kelsey. This is how they find.

Yeah, they do. Okay. I forgot. I was going to tell you about this. Tell me. Just there was a spider in my bathtub and he only had five legs. And I felt so bad for him because he was trying to get out and he couldn't because, you know, it's like slippery. So he like slides back down.

He only had five legs. So I like picked him up and like I was going to put him outside. But it was so cold outside. I think it literally, I think that was the night it snowed or something. It was just so cold. Oh, yeah. I put him in the fairy tale fix office instead. And Adam kept saying like, you know, like, oh, she's probably thirsty.

So I got like a wet paper towel. and immediately I named him Sinko and he like ran over to the paper towel. Sinko. Yeah. I'm not really talking right. But he like ran over to the wet paper towel

and you could tell that he was thirsty. And then he disappeared and I was like, well, you know, wherever he goes. It's just a wolf, like a wolf spider. Who cares? Spider is going to go spider somewhere. Yeah. But I've been seeing him in the house.

like in different places. Oh, very nice. There's Cinco. And I've been getting all excited. Oh, I love it. You have a little like guardian house spider. Yeah. And I just, I feel so bad for him because he only has five legs.

I'm like, I hope he's getting like, I don't know what they're eating in my house. I'm sure there are bugs, but like, yeah. I just, I just hope he's happy. I don't know. And he keeps getting closer and closer back to the bathtub. So I'm like, you better not fucking end up in the bathtub again. don't go in there buddy like you can't get out there's nothing there for you anyway how did you move him to the fairy tale fix office did you like do that thing where you

slip a piece of paper under a cup yeah like a cup and just i don't even use paper anymore i mean unless they're like really fast he was real slow he's real slow because he's only got five legs i felt so bad for him are they both missing from the same side um He's got like, no, they're all missing from one side. Oh, that sucks for him. I bet that makes it hard to get around. No, he's got three on one side and two on the other. I don't know.

What happened? Might have been one of these cats. Breeze revving up against you and all of a sudden I just saw her butt go like, ugh. Well, just because I just noticed I don't see spiders in here as much as I used to. I know. I'm like, how did you lose those legs? Was it? The cat?

Might have been the cat. Because she's nasty. She's a She's a nasty huntress. Murderers. She's a murderer. Not even murderer. Just torturer.

Like, yeah, she's not trying to kill them. She's batting them around, playing with them. Yep. She's evil. Yeah. But she's so cute. But she's also my baby. So glad she's not bigger than you.

Me too. She'd kill me. Yep. Even just by accident, probably. She already attacks my feet on the regular. Aw. She's bred for it. Well, I love that story so much.

That was really sweet. I thought you might like it. I really liked it. Obviously, I really like it because it made like, it was like, oh, it got a protective web around the world. It just keeps going. It gets smaller and smaller. I know.

Thank you old ladies. Thank you old lady spiders. Everybody be nice to spiders. Yep. You know, obviously don't let go poking black widows or anything. Be careful, but. Yeah, you don't want to poke them or touch them. It's going to piss them off.

Leave them alone. Yeah. Or just... Paper cup. Put them outside. Put them outside. Or if it's cold and you're a bleeding heart for spiders like me, put them in a different room. Why did you wet a paper towel? I wouldn't have thought of that. Oh, that's how... That's like an easy way for them to drink water.

I didn't know that. Yeah. So at the nature center, that's how they like give water to the spiders. Because if you put it like in a dish, like they can drown more easily. Yeah. Because they're so tiny. And they have such tiny mouths. Yeah, they have tiny mouths. So they can actually drink the water from a wet paper towel. Right.

And it's because it's probably like decently sized water droplets to an animal that tiny. And he went right up to it, like straight to it. And I was just like, Adam was right. Thirsty little bit. Also, can I just say like Adam is one of the sweetest men alive? He's okay with the spider. He's also pro spider. Not just so like pro spider.

Because on one hand, it's like, you know, he's indulging you. But he's not indulging you. He also cares about the spider because he wonders if the spider is thirsty. I wonder why it's in the bathtub, right? Yeah. Adam is just such a, he's a very sweet man. Yeah. He's a good match for you.

Yeah, we're still releasing all the mice that end up in our attic. I don't mention them anymore, but it still happens. and we still have the little like trap and we put peanut butter and then we go like release them in the woods. So you're still rescuing the mice in your head. Yeah. I call it Kelsey's friendly catch and release program. Uh-huh. No, Kelsey's friendly relocation program. Friendly relocation program.

Yeah. All right. But I'm glad you liked it. I loved that story to you. Oh, obviously. Do you have a fix? Nope. Okay.

It's, I think that is one of my favorite. spider origin stories I've read so far. Happy. So good. Have like love that as a spider origin story. No fixes. It reminds me a lot of the four dragons where it's like a character just cares about something so much that they sacrifice so much and like that's what they become. Yeah. It's neat. I think that's really neat too. I really, I really like it. I'm trying to think of like. Oh, sorry. No, go on. Oh, we read the. We read the. the Greek spider mythology story, right? Where it's like somebody was like too good at spinning.

I was literally just about to mention that too because I was like the other spider or I don't know if we've read it on the pod. But we've certainly talked about it like the story of arachne. Yes. Where like she was so good at weaving that she pissed off Athena. Yeah. And then they had a weaving contest and then Arachne's weaving was better than Athena's. And so Athena cursed her to become a spider. that was the first fighter and I hate that story.

I know that's so mean. Yeah, I don't know if we read it, but. Well, let's finish up this one because I'm really excited to tell you this story that I'm excited and I hope we haven't talked about it. And if we have, I'm going to be mad. I'm not going to tell you anything except for the name. Okay. And then I've got a lot of stuff to tell you.

This story is called the AverTac. The Avertac. There's multiple names for it, but they give it away too quickly. The Avertac. The Avertack. It's A-B-H-A-R-T-A-C-H. I liked a bad to spell it. That doesn't help.

Don't Google it. Thank you. I'm not like because I was like, well, I mean, I'm tempted, but I'm not going to, but just knowing how it's spelled doesn't really tell me anything. The Avertack. The Avertack. Okay, I'm pretty sure we haven't talked about it. Oh, I will give you a hint.

So because the last episode, this isn't a great hint, though. So maybe, anyway, I'll tell you anyway. So the last episode, we talked about how that guy, like, didn't believe in fairies and worse, ghosts. Worse, ghosts. So instead, I decided to look up Irish ghost stories instead of Irish fairy tales to see if I could find something different. Okay. If that, that's not like a super big hint, but more in that vein. Hmm. Hmm. So and the title is the Avertack or just, okay. The Avertag.

Take your time. See, I'm just, I'm more confused by your hints than anything because you said you looked up ghost stories, but you said it's not a good hint. So I'm trying not to steer too hard down the ghost Yeah, that's smart. Thing. That's what I was hoping you would do. Okay, Avertak. An Avertack is some kind of spirit.

Okay. Oh, yeah, and you get three, the full three. It's kind of a longish story. Thanks. Full named main character. Okay. it's a long one so I think the

abrataq is barely in it okay it's hard to spell oh and also I'm really I really apologize I looked up how to pronounce everything but I'm sorry not everything but like most things and I'm sorry if I slaughter it

that is hardly in it okay all right so I'm going to sit back with my pint and you're going to tell me about all the ways I'm wrong. I'm so excited. You're going to love this. The Avertac.

I found the story from tellstory.net, which is a lot like fairy tales.com. It just has a bunch of different stories in it. I also found like a bunch of articles that I will talk about at the end because I don't want to give anything away just yet. Okay. But they also didn't have an author name. And I also shortened it a little bit for time because it was a little long. Okay.

Okay. And you can find everything that I mention in our show notes. I'm excited. In the remote hills of County Derry where an ancient ring fort's crowned the wind-swept heights and the mist rise from the boglands that have remained unchanged since the dawn of time. There stands a weathered stone that marks one of the darkest chapters in Irish supernatural history. Ooh. Oh, I'm already very intrigued. Here lies or once lay. Avertak the cruel, a chieftain whose evil was so profound that death itself could not contain it,

and who returned from the grave to terrorize the living as Ireland's most feared vampire. Oh, yes! Yes! Okay. Let's fucking go. Oh, God, damn it. I almost said vampire. You should have a close.

I was so close. Ghost, but not ghost. Damn. I was going to say some kind of physical revenant, and then I totally would have been on it. But it's cool. It's cool. I'm so happy.

Please tell me about this vampire. Amazing. So again, this is one of those things where it's more folklore than anything. It was really hard to actually find like a story about it. And I'll tell you more about all the folklore at the end. Incredible. So the tyrant of sloctaverti. So sloctaverti is the name of the town in Derry, I'm pretty sure.

I'm sorry if that's wrong. And I looked up the pronunciation, so I hope that's right. Anyway. Avertak ruled the territory around sloctaverti in the days when petty kings and chieftains carved their domains from the Irish country side through force of arms and strength of will. Unlike many rulers of his time, who at least maintain some pretense for caring for their people's welfare, Avertok was a tyrant of the pure sort, a man who seemed to take genuine pleasure in the suffering of others. Ooh, a bad man. He's a bad, bad man.

He was a small man, they say. And I'm just going to insert in here that in some versions, he's a dwarf. So the actual word Avertac is also means dwarf. It's like a type of dwarf. Interesting. In Irish folklore. He was a small man, they say, hunched and twisted in both body and spirit,

with pale skin that never seemed to see the sunlight, and eyes like chips of black ice that held no warmth or mercy. His hair was thin, colorless, hanging in greasy strands around a face marked by cruelty. When he smiled, which was rare, it revealed teeth that were unnaturally sharp and stained with what might have been wine, though those who saw him up close suspected it was something fine.

are more sinister. Despite his unrepossessing appearance, Avertock possessed a keen intelligence and a talent for manipulation that allowed him to maintain his grip on power. He surrounded himself with men who were almost as cruel as himself, warriors who cared nothing for honor or justice, but only for the gold he paid them. And the license he gave them to terrorize the innocent.

Okay, so he's also just got a bunch of nasty minions. Sound familiar? It does. Does. A small, twisted, ugly, nasty man who surrounds himself with lots of minions who are also small, twisted, nasty people. Mm-hmm.

Who just like hurting people. Sounds real familiar. Yeah, yeah. Under Avatok's rule, the people of his territory lived in constant fear. He imposed crushing taxes that left families destitute, demanded tribute that stripped the land of its wealth and delighted in finding excuses to inflict harsh

punishments for the smallest infractions. Children learned to hide when they heard his retinue approaching and mothers would whisper prayers of protection when his name was spoken aloud. As the years passed, disturbing rumors began to circulate about avatak's increasingly bizarre behavior. Servants in his... Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. servants in his fortress reported that he would often disappear for days at a time, returning in the dark hours before dawn with a flesh in his pale cheeks and a vitality that seemed unnatural for a man of his age and constitution.

The surrounding countryside began to report mysterious incidences. I'm sorry, mysterious incidents. The surrounding countryside began to report mysterious incidents that seemed to follow Avertex nocturnal wandering. Cattle would be found drained of blood with strange puncture wounds in their necks Travelers would disappear from the roads Their belongings scattered but their bodies never found

Children would wake screaming from nightmares about a pale figure with burning eyes Who tried to enter their bedrooms through the windows Creepy as fuck? Oh my God Mm-hmm As Avertak's supernatural transformation progressed His cruelty evolved from mere human sadism into something more monstrous.

He began to demand tributes that went beyond gold or cattle. He required that each family in his territory provide him with what he called the red wine of life, though everyone knew what he truly meant. Right. That's not subtle. Yeah, that means blood. I get it. I definitely think this version is a little bit more like amped up, but I had fun of reading it anyway.

The people were forced to allow their chieftain to feed upon their blood, drawing it from their veins with instruments of silver and iron that he commissioned from terrified craftsmen. Those who refused or resisted faced fates far or worse than simple death. They would disappear in the night only to return days later as pale, lifeless creatures who served their former master with mindless devotion. Ooh. Salvation came in the form of Catane, a warrior chieftain from a neighboring territory

who had heard tales of the horror that had to befallen Slokforti. Unlike many who dismissed such stories as superstitious nonsense, Katain recognized the truth in the terrified whispers of refugees. Of refugees. Catane recognized the truth in terrified whispers of refugees who managed to escape. Avertik's domain. Katain was everything

that Avertak was not. Tall, a power fee built with a noble bearing and a reputation for justice and courage that spread through the northern counties. He was super hot. He sounds great. He was super hot, super tan.

He's basically Superman. And he was a devout Christian who carried blessed weapons. Of course he was. who carried blessed weapons and wore a silver crucifix that had been sanctified by St. Patrick himself. More importantly, he possessed the moral conviction necessary to face supernatural evil without blinching. I'm picturing Dean Winchester. Oh.

That's who I'm casting is Jensen Ackles. Absolutely. I think maybe not so much on the good Christian front. Yeah, you're right. It should have been Jerry Pallelike instead. Honestly, either one will do as the as the handsome paragon of

You know what, let's just pretend Ketting is actually two people. They summoned the Winchester brothers. I'm into this. In some versions, this is a druid instead of a Christian, which is really interesting.

I like that. That's really cool. So like, I think. Like, is it still like a warrior chief from a neighboring, from a neighboring county or? Yes. Yeah. It's still like. But he's like a druid chief.

Yeah. I like that. So there's a druid that comes and saves them instead. Oh. And saves them from like the dwarf instead of like a Christian saving them from the vampire. So there's a few different versions of the story. I thought that was kind of neat. That is neat.

That is interesting. Mm-hmm. When Catane a. arrived in the hills around Slokforti, he found a landscape that seemed drained of life and hope. The very stones of the ring fort appeared to be stained with blood, and the air was filled with the sounds of weeping that seemed to come from the earth itself. This evil cannot be allowed to continue. Katain declared to his companions, if mortal weapons cannot destroy this monster, then we must find other means, for surely God will not permit such wickedness to triumph over

innocence. Surely not. Yeah, fun now. Sam, get the salt gun thing. Get the holy water. How do you think they got baby across the ocean? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Oh. On a boat.

And I imagine Dean hated every second of that because he was probably sit to his stomach. Absolutely. Oh, cute. I would love international supernatural. me too. I mean, this is the universe they were trying to build. Avertak's response was a laugh that echoed across the countryside like the cry of a banshee, filled with such malevolent amusement that it caused livestock to stampede and children to wake screaming from their sleep. But he accepted the challenge, perhaps out of curiosity about this bold mortal who dared to threaten a creature of supernatural power.

battle took place in a stone circle that had been ancient when the first Celts arrived in Ireland. And I'm digging the elements of this story. It's also like a battle with a vampire and a stone circle with a warrior king. It's pretty bad. It's very fun. Yeah. A place where the boundary between the natural and supernatural worlds had always been thin. Katain arrived at sunset, armed with a sword blessed by holy men,

and a shield bearing a sacred symbols of faith. Abertak came within the darkness, moving across the landscape like a shadow given form. Like a shadow given form. In the pale light of the crescent moon, the two warriors faced each other in a confrontation that would determine the fate of an entire region. The fight that followed was unlike any combat

that mortal eyes had ever witnessed. Avertack moved with inhuman speed and strength, his strikes carrying the force of supernatural malice while a supernatural resilience allowed him to shrug off wounds that would have killed any normal man. But Catane was no ordinary warrior. Hell now. His blessed weapons seemed to burn the vampire with holy fire whenever they struck, and his

faith provided him with protection against the worst of AbraTax's supernatural assaults. The cross around his neck glowed with divine light that caused the creature to recoil in pain and theory. Full-on paladin stuff. I was just thinking it was very. very like video gamey. Yeah, very video gamey. Yeah.

I wonder if like this story is like one of the influences for like paladins in D&D because this is a very like, you know, holy holy, holy weapons smiting people. Hell yeah. Yeah. Get the kids to grow up and want to grow up and like be one. Right.

For hours they fought among the ancient stones. Their battle illuminated by flashes of otherworldly energy that lit up surround. hills like lightning. Avertox claws raked across Katain's armor, while the warrior's blessed blade carved deep wounds in the vampire's corrupt flesh. Finally, as dawn approached and the first light of sunrise began to appear on the horizon, Ketain managed to land the decisive blow.

His blessed sword, guided by divine providence and driven by righteous fury, pierced Avertec's heart and pinned the creature to the ancient stone altar at the center of the circle. Fuck yes. With a shriek that shattered windows for miles around, Avertak collapsed and lay still. His supernatural life finally extinguished by the combination of holy steel and divine justice.

Justice. Hell yeah. Katain stood over the vampire's corpse as the sun rose, exhausted but triumphant. The people of Slokvarty emerged from their hiding place, places to celebrate their liberation for the first time of years, laughter and song were heard in the cursed land. Following tradition, Avertok's body was buried in a deep grave on the hill where he had fallen, with stones piled high above the earth to mark the sight and prevent

desecration. Priests performed the rights of exorcism and blessing, sprinkling holy water on the grave and invoking divine protection against the return of evil. And for three days, peace resigned in the territory. The oppressive atmosphere. He's reigned? He's rained in the territory. Yeah. You said, you just said resigned.

I just wanted to do you. Oh, resigned, my bad. Yeah. For three days, peace rained in the territory. The oppressive atmosphere that had hung over the land began to lift. Crop showed signs of recovery

and the people dared to hope that their nightmare was finally over. But the people were wrong, clearly. Dun, done. Dun dun dun dun dun. But on the fourth night, that hope was shattered by a sound that froze the blood in every vein, the screaming of women and children coming from the village nearest to Avertox Grave. The creature that arose from the grave was far more terrible than the one had been buried in it.

Bad ass. Death had not to admit. It's kind of comic book style, huh? It is. I am really enjoying this story. Death had not diminished Avertox evil, but instead concentrated it. Concentrated it. Hold on. Hold on. I need to break.

Yeah, take a sip of your beer. Take a sip of your pint. The creature that arose from the grave was far more terrible than the one that had been buried in it. Death had not diminished Avertox evil, but had instead concentrated it, stripping away the last vestiges of his humanity. And leaving only supernatural malice and insatiable hunger for the blood of living. I mean, he's a bad man and I hate him and I do want him to be vanquished, but he also sounds awesome. Yeah, he does kind of sound awesome, especially if he had like a really good like song.

Yes. Like this is exactly the kind of villain that I would absolutely love to hate. Yep. But I do love a straightforward. I just want to feast on people's blood. Yep. I'm just a bad. I'm just a monster. I'm just a bad, bad. I'm such a bad man. I'm so bad. I'm so bad. He loves to be bad. He does. Bad and loving it. He appeared at the doors of houses like a specter of vengeance, demanding entry in a voice that carried the authority of the grave itself. Those refused him. I know. It's so like.

Bad ass. That's a great phrase, the authority of the grave itself. Damn. He is death. I am death. I am death. Those who refused him found their barriers useless. The undead chieftain would pass through walls like mist and manifest wherever he chose

within his territory. His feeding had become more voracious and cruel than ever before, where once he had been content to take small amounts of blood from his victims, now he drained them completely, leaving behind desiccated corpses that crumbled to the dust or crumbled to dust at the first touch of sunlight. Like cool troll statues, just crumbling. Yeah. The people of Slokford.

That's such a hard word. It is, but you've been doing great so far. Sloctoverte. Sloctoverte. I feel like that's wrong, too. Slocterverty. like it doesn't sound right it doesn't it's too many but also

if that's Irish for you I don't know like okay the people of sloctaverti despaired believing that their tormentor had become truly immortal and that no power on earth could free them from his supernatural tyranny in their darkest hour

the people remembered old Mirren a wise woman who lived deep in the forest and was said to possess knowledge of the ancient ways that predated Christianity Oh, good. I'm glad we're finally appealing to her. Yeah.

Finally someone's asking a woman. Yeah. And asking a woman who's like, no, no, I haven't forgotten everything about our history. Mm-hmm. You know, paladins are all very well, but they don't do the trick every time with these sorts of things. Though many viewed her with suspicion as a practitioner of old pagan magic, desperation drove them to seek her counsel. Muran was ancient beyond reckoning. Her face lined with the wisdom of centuries

and her eyes holding depths that seemed to reflect the very foundations of the world. When the delegation from Sloktoverdi came to her humble cottage, she listened to their tale with the patience of one who had heard many such stories over the long years of her life. The creature you describe is not truly alive, she said finally, her voice carrying the weight of absolute authority.

authority. Yes. Queen! But neither is it truly dead. It exists in the space between life and death and can only be destroyed by weapons and methods that bridge that same divide. She provided them with specific instructions. Katain must forge a sword from iron, taken from the church bell and blessed by nine priests from nine different parishes. the blade must be quenched in holy water

that have been sanctified during the celebration of Easter Mass and most importantly when Avertock was defeated he must be buried face down with a large stone placed upon his grave and a thornbush planted above to keep his spirit trapped below ground

That's cool And in some versions it's a sword made out of yew which is a... Interesting. YEW like a plant Yeah like the wood Yes

I'm trying to remember like the significance that you trees have in like magic. But they have there's something there's something about you that's tickling my brain. You would. You is the pagan's favorite tree. Oh. Immortality, rebirth and the underworld. So it's cool. So that is from the AI summary.

So that might not be right. Hang on. And I think this part also. Miran is the druid that they call upon, actually. I think this version is... In the other version? Yeah, I think this version is blending a couple things together, which is very fun. I like that.

I love it, honestly. Like, I kind of also, like, I'm enjoying the kind of, like, you know, the blending of sort of Christian, Christian magic and pagan magic as far as, like, the solution of how to get rid of him is, like, you know. Because, okay, so, like, reading more about you would. It's connected to the underworld in mythology and across multiple traditions. But it's also you is one of Ireland's five sacred trees and a symbol of transformation and rebirth. So like in druidic magic, you would is really important.

So I like that like, you know, in that older version, it's a sword made of you would. And like you have to have it blessed by like all of this different stuff. I think that's cool. I like this story. Yeah, me too. Armed with this knowledge, Katain prepared for a second confrontation with the supernatural creature that had been his enemy in life

and renamed his nemesis and death. The forging of the blessed sword took weeks as priests from across the county just contributed their prayers and blessings to the creation of this weapon of divine justice. When the blade was complete, when the blade was complete, Katain sought out Avertok

in the ruins of the monster's ancient fortress. The vampire was waiting for him, confident in his supernatural immortality and eager to take revenge upon the mortal who had temporarily inconvenienced him. This beauty mortal. Death is but a temporary inconvenience. The second battle was even more terrible than the first.

Avertox powers had grown since its return from the grave, and he fought with the desperate fury of a creature that had sensed its final destruction approaching. But the blessed sword proved to be the perfect weapon against the supernatural evil, its holy iron burning the vampire's flesh, and its divine blessing disrupting the dark magic that sustained its undead existence.

When Catane's blade pierced Avertox heart for the second time, the vampire's death throes were so violent that they triggered an earthquake that could be felt throughout the county dairy. The creature's final scream shattered every piece of glass within 10 miles and cause pregnant women to give birth prematurely from the show. Damn. That's a big ass scream. That's a big ass scream that like babies like the unborn here at Nero like I got to get

out of here. I like the idea that it's just a really high pitch like this time, Ketain followed Mirren's instructions exactly. Avertock's body was buried face. down in a deep pit with a massive stone rolled over the grave to pin the corpse in place. A black thorn bush was planted in the earth above, its thorny branches serving as both marker and supernatural barrier that would prevent the vampire spirit from rising again. Yes.

The ritual of the burial was overseen by bishops and holy men from across Ireland, who performed elaborate ceremonies of exorcism and blessing that continued for seven days and seven nights. Holy water was poured into the grave until the ground could absorb no more and sacred relics were buried alongside the vampire's corpse to ensure that divine protection would remain in place for all eternity. From that day forward, the terror of Avertok was ended forever, the oppressive atmosphere that had hung over sloctaverti. It's so hard to say.

The oppressive atmosphere that had hung over, Slocdiverty lifted like a morning mist, and the land began to recover its natural fertility and beauty. The people who had survived the vampire's reign slowly rebuilt their lives, though they never forgot the horror they had endured, nor the hero who had delivered them from it. Katain was honored throughout Ireland as a champion of the faith and a protector of the innocent. Songs were composed about his victory over the vampire, and his blessed sword was preserved as a relic for future generations who might face similar supernatural threat. The grave of Avertog became a place of pilgrimage

For those seeking protection from evil The visitors were always warned Never to disturb the stone Or uproot the thorn bush that kept the vampire spirit imprisoned Local tradition held that as long as these Barriers remained in place The monster would never again trouble the living The end

It's a great story It was a little longer one but is that fun? It was great. That was really fun I mean you know I love a vampire story Hell yes. And this is like a really good traditionally like fucking nasty, creepy, you know, evil vampire. I really. So evil.

So I really dig it. Definitely when you look up this story, a lot of the other versions are just like, you know, there was an awful chieftain and he was killed by a neighboring chieftain. But he kept coming back to life. So in a lot of versions, the first time he comes back to life, that's. the only time he's looking for blood. And he's like basically a corpse looking for blood. And he keeps getting killed by this neighboring chieftain. And he keeps trying to bury him and he just keeps coming back like over and over.

So it's not like a crazy battle. But the druid and or the saint tells them that he needs to bury him face down. Got it. Okay. And that's when he stops coming. So very interesting. And I found most of the information I'm telling you from an article by the Irish road trip. Sorry, it's actually by Keith O'Hara on the Irish road trip and like Wikipedia.

The story was first written down by an Irish historian Patrick Weston Joyce, who published a book called The Origin and History of Irish Names and Places in 1870. Oh, okay. A lot short of a story. That person is much more. Avertalk is another word for dwarf. Yeah, like, I feel like that word has actually come up before because I feel like there was another story we read that was about like a short lord of some kind that was terrorized in the

countryside. It wasn't a vampire story, but it was, but like he was also referred to, I think, as an Avertock or something like that. Yeah. And this is such a popular story that apparently I didn't know this. Did you know that Bram Stoker was Irish? Yeah. I didn't know that.

I had no idea. So a lot of people think that this is the real inspiration for Dracula. Absolutely. And I can totally see elements of that in here. And so I think it sounds like Bram Stoker heard this story and then also mashed it together with Vlad the Impaler. With Vlad the Impaler, because Vlad the Impaler is such an interesting figure. and so he kind of smashed the two things together

because I think he also wanted to make it more exotic than Ireland. So he made it like this evil Transylvanian king that he'd heard of. But yeah, no, I can totally see this as an origin. Yeah. Idea. There is a, so Bob Kieran,

it's a lecturer from Celtic history and folklore at the University of Ulster. Mm-hmm. And he actually has like a whole paper in like theory that Bram Stoker actually didn't know like anything about Vladby and Paler and he thinks this is all from the Avertock.

Interesting. Ooh, okay. Yeah, so obviously I didn't like read the whole paper or anything, but he has a whole thing about it. And also says that you can find the real castle Dracula between the towns of Garcog and Dungiven. Oh, my God. All the more reason for us to really take that Irish trip someday soon.

I had no. I don't know why I had. I had no idea Dracula was Irish. So now that I know this, I really want to read Dracula from like the point of an Irish like storyteller. I think that's so interesting. I had no idea. It is.

And like I have the book Dracula and I've just never read it. Go for it and let me and let me know if you like like, like I've tried to read Dracula. Is it? Is it slow? It's slow. And I have a hard time with like not like it's like it's a, God, what do they call this? I think it's called like an epistolary, an epistolary novel where essentially the entire story is built through people writing letters. Oh, interesting.

Like, so it's not like, it's, it's not like a straightforward novel where someone's telling you a story. You're putting together the story based on people's correspondence. Oh, okay, okay. So it can be a bit of a slow read. It's, but it's like, it was good. It's just that like, I didn't make it much farther than, like, like, like Jonathan Harker's stay in Castle Dracula because that was where all the creepy shit was happening. And so he's writing to his fiance back home, but all the creepy shit that's

happening to him. And that was, and that's really cool and it gives you the hebi-jeebies. But, but I didn't make it much past that because after that it gets, it gets a little slow and boring for a while and I gave up. Yeah. Oh, interesting. I didn't know that. Well, I'm excited to check it out. Do it. Yeah. I just, I have the book. I've just never read it. Give it a whirl. I feel like I bought a copy because I was like, this looks cool and like, I mean, obviously, like, I know the story of Dracula. I meant like the actual book, like the cover looked cool. And I was like, ooh, I want this. Ooh, what does your cover look like? I have the boring like Barnes and Noble, Barnes and Noble classics cover, which is just like a black and white photograph of a cross. I'll have to find it. I can't remember. But I remember it was like really graphic and it looked very cool design.

Hell yeah. I want to see that cover. So yeah, saw the story. I thought it was really cool. There's a lot of really interesting articles about the Avertalk. Obviously, this story was very elaborate and like written more like, I think just more detail than most accounts. But I loved it. And I thought it was really fun. I like the ones that give you a little more detail.

Like even if somebody kind of made up some stuff. I mean, but you know, it's all made up. So if you want to make up more stuff, I'm here for it. I don't know if there are any fixes for it, other than now that it's two brothers named Sam and Dean the cone attack. I really want to see the supernatural version of it. Literally, that's it. Like, I want to see Dean and Sam roll in. Probably since this is like, you know, a while ago, I think they accidentally time travel somehow.

I don't know. And they get a big black steed instead of their car. Mm-hmm. And I, and ooh, and now we can have it be like where one of them has a holy sword made of you and one of them has a holy sword made of iron. And they have to like get it blessed in two different versions. Like the iron sword is still blessed by all of like the Catholic priests. But the U sword, you have to go to like a special clearing and a special part of the woods or whatever and like ask the fairies for something. And Rowena is there and also Crowley because they're Irish, right?

No, no, no. I think they're Scottish. I don't know. I don't know about, I don't know if Crowley. I want them there anyway. It's Scottish. Whatever. Who cares?

They can be. They also time traveled. They can be there too. Or it's like a more, it's an older version of Crowley from before. There you go. It's imagination. We can do whatever we want. We can do whatever we want.

I love it. That's the fix for the story. That's the canon of what happened now. Yeah. So neat. I love it. I thought that was so fun. And a vampire story.

We don't get a lot of those. So. I love vampire stories. Thank you for reading me that. That makes me so happy. I'm glad you liked it. And it too. It was fun.

Love Irish Fairy Tale Month. I think that is a fabulous kickoff to Irish Fairy Tale Month. And so we're going to leave it there for the day. Let's see. How does this usually go? You can support us. if you want, by going and following us on all of the social medias, mostly just Instagram, actually. I don't know why I said all the social media is. You can follow us on Instagram.

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And so there are just great old lady spiders out there in the world that are weaving protection spells for all young people in this horrible, horrible world. And there's no fix for that. They just continue doing that until the end of forever. And Catane, aka Sam and Dean, Sam and Dean, get supernatural back in time and have to fight the Avatoc, aka the vampire. And I don't know, we get to hear about that. And it's awesome. And that was really all I had. And they all live happily ever after the end.