Fairy Tale Fix - 126: A Serious Case of Gender

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

The Twelve Huntsmen & The Unicorn (“El Oricuerno”) A very happy Pride to you and yours! This episode is all about gender and kissing the people you want to, with a little vengeance sprinkled on top. Abbie recounts the Brothers’ Grimm tale of The Twelve Huntsman, which is a story about true love, disguise, the supposed gender binary, and a lion that’s either trolling hard or deeply anxious about all of it. Kelsey follows after with a Spanish fairy tale: The Unicorn, a magical story about community gender anxiety, disguise, true love, and more hunting. Make sure to rate, review, and subscribe. You can find us on Instagram @fairytalefixpod, and chat with us on our Discord channel! Join our Patreon at patreon.com/fairytalefixpod and visit us at fairytalefixpod.com. Fairy Tale Fix Podcast is a Fantastic Worlds Production. Fairy Tale Fix is performed and produced by: Abbie Lammel (@bonanzafamine)Kelsey Horne (@monsieurcheval)With tremendous thanks to our good friend, Dustin Alexander In partnership with our Patreon producers: Angel EspinozaGisselle M. InganCynthia LammelWilliam JohnsonElizabeth MasoudDami SchlobohmCaroline DonhamMelissa BuronRabia SadiqTamra DerryLinda Kay PardonnetDana DomkoCait Williams Books and other media mentioned in this episode: Check out all the books from the show here!The Twelve HuntsmenThis Princess Kills MonstersThe Unicorn “El Orinuerno”Patchwork Fairy Tales Podcast by Laura Simons Fairy Tale Fix Podcast is a Fantastic Worlds Production.

Okay. Here we are. Let's do this. Let's do it. We are recording. This is a terrible intro. This is a terrible start. I, let's get the intro out of the way. We're getting the intro out of the way right off the bat because fans, listeners, friends, we're strictly business this episode. We're getting it done. Quick and sweet. Short and sweet. or that. Minimal editing because our podcast, you know, it just, it takes a long time to edit if we go off on tangents, which we do a lot. We do. We edit them out. Don't see my dress out loud. Don't see my dress out. But today, we're very serious and we are going to try to avoid all of that so that we might be released.

after our conversation back into our Pride Month activities, which chiefly involve relaxing and bracing ourselves for work. And I just burped. I'm going to have to edit that out. I don't think you should. I think you should leave it in. Great. Well, this is We're doing it live. This is fairy tale fix. Yes. I'm Abby. I'm Kelsey. And this is the podcast, the what the fuck fairy tale podcast where we read each other, fairy and folk tales from around the world. And then we fix them for a modern audience. And I've got such an exciting one today that truly made me say,

what the fuck, at least a couple times. Abby told you literally messaged me and were like, you're going to scream. So I'm so excited. But before we get into that, we have some very important announcements. We want to thank our new patrons. We actually have three new patrons to thank. We'd like to thank Hills.

Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, Hills. As well as Josie the Mountain Troll, our new Patreon producer level. Thank you, producer. Yes. We are so appreciative. Thank you so much for joining us. Oh, I think Hills mentioned that they would put my handmade envelope in their junk journal.

And I was like, yes. I also have a junk journal. I love that. That's so fun. And Hills, it is a precious relic because Kelsey will not be making more of them. No. I mean, I still haven't bought envelopes yet. I'm going to get on it.

It's going to happen eventually. I believe in you. And then if you don't remember, I started hand-making envelopes because I was annoyed that like it's just folded paper. Why am I buying folded paper? I can just make it myself. But then I realize you'd have to keep doing it. Anyway. Yes.

And we'd also like to thank Roz. Yes, Roz. Thank you so much for joining our Patreon. And for sending us all these amazing stories. I still haven't even read through. Half of them probably. So we appreciate you. We do.

And we do need the inspo. So thank you. So like I already had one teed up for this one. But we do. definitely need to dip back into the well of other stories people think we should do. So thank you, Roz, for being our researcher. In addition to our Patreon person. You're the best.

And you will be getting some stickers in the mail soon. So I'll be on the lookout for that. Probably with a handmade envelope. Because I still haven't bought any, but it's fine. Precious, precious relics. Everybody, you're welcome. What you're drinking? Oh, I got a little diet, cherry.

Coke action going on here. It looks so refreshing. I'm really into that right now. I was drinking a lot of, hashtag not sponsored. I was drinking a lot of Coke Zero, but it's so sweet. I actually think I like the Diet Coke better.

The Coke Zero is sweet? It's supposed to have it has zero sugar, but it's like still sweeter than the Diet Coke, which also has zero sugar. There's both now. I think they use a different kind of fake sugar.

But anyway, that's my my drink of choice. It looks delicious, so refreshing. Nice and crispy. What are you drinking? I'm dual wielding a raspberry lemon topochiko. Ooh. It's delicious,

delicious sparkling water. Yeah, that sounds good. And the raspberry lemon flavor is new, or at least new to me. And it's very nice and refreshing. And then a torpedo. Nice. Beverage goblin.

Mm-hmm. That's me. Where's your third one? Well, I feel like the Topochico kind of counts for both. Well, actually, no, because that would be the energized. One is to energize, one to hydrate, and one just for fun. I literally have coffee on my desk, my water bottle, and my Diet Coke. I am out of coffee in my house, which makes me cry every day.

Yeah, that's not okay. But I was just too lazy to remember to get it. I had tea this morning, which is a perfectly acceptable alternative. Mm-hmm. And it's delicious. It doesn't always hit the same way, though. It doesn't quite give me the same jolt that coffee does, but it was still fine. Yeah.

Yeah. Something else to look out for. Yes, we have another exciting announcement. Did you see it with them in the show notes? I did. And I love it. Kelsey and I were guests recently on the Rowan and Pine podcast, which is another fairy tale podcast where they really sort of do a deep dive on a folklore or fairy tale related topic. And a lot of mythology.

A lot of mythology. And thoroughly discuss and it looks. and look at a particular question or topic from every possible angle. It was really fun. Kelsey and I were on with Neve. And our topic was damsels in distress, which naturally Kelsey and I had a lot of very funny and adorable things to say about it. And then Neve had a lot of very thoughtful and well-researched things to say about it.

And the three of us had a pretty good time. Yeah. It was so much fun. We're so honored that Rowan and Pine would let us on their podcast. And it was a great hang. So be on the lookout for that episode. We'll definitely post about it on our social media when it comes out. When it comes out.

Yeah. So keep an eye on that. And go listen to them anyway. Emily and Neva are so, so charismatic, so adorable. They have such great takes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Very, like, thoughtful, lovely, interesting women.

And you should go listen to their podcast regardless, but especially listen to our episode, which is obviously the best one. Oh, yeah. Show them lots of love. Thank you, Ney for inviting us on. It was so cool. Announcements over. We can get to the important things now. Most importantly, Kelsey is in such a state of bliss.

I really am. I'm so excited. has Evan Nessens released their new album Sanctuary? And I am 13 again. Like, I have been obsessed with them since Fallen came out, you know. As an elder millennial, I was a little goth child in junior high. And I'm just, I mean, I've loved every album they've come out with. But this one is just, I don't know, I'm in so much bliss.

It's so good. The songs kind of are more reminiscent of some of their older stuff. I thought so too When I listened through And then I listened to Fallen again Because I wasn't I listened to Sanctuary through like six times And then flipped over and listened to Fallen

And it was it was really cool How much of a Like how much those two albums sort of live As like companions of each other or bookends Like not that like I think this should like I hope this isn't their last album But but the first one and this most recent one have so much in common,

but Sanctuary is so much more mature in its themes. Yes. But the music is so fucking good. But also like it's rar than the albums that they've come out with previously. Yeah. The lyrics are really vulnerable and powerful. And I love that. They even kind of like pre-fallen like kind of origin style. I'm totally gushing because I am a super fan.

as you should. But like it has like kind of the creepier vibes. Like the cool electronic sounds from like even in death. And I just, I love it. It's so good. And I've been gushing all week. I've actually, so I'm going to go see them in concert in July. And I think, are you going to go see them?

I love sanctuary so much that I also, I bought, I bought tickets for me and Stephen to go see them when they come to D.C. in late June. That's awesome. I'm so fucking excited. Hell yeah. I've started making bracelets. I bought bracelets a while, like, beads and stuff for Aftershock and started making a bunch because it's fun to, like, give to people. And sometimes you can, like, I don't know, give somebody a bracelet and they'll give you

a drag of their, you know, cigarette or whatever. Absolutely. Yes, there's cigarette. There's cigarette. Sure. They're marijuana cigarettes. if you're into that kind of thing. But it's just kind of fun.

And I remember at Aftershock, Evanescence was playing, and some girl in front of me knew all the words, and I got all excited. So I gave her a bracelet. She loved it. We, like, bonded a little. It was really fun.

So I started doing it for this upcoming concert, and I'm just really excited. What's your favorite track on it? On the new album? I really, like, calm down. Yeah. It's got a cool, like, groovy, creepy, sassy vibe that I really like.

What about you? It's a really good one. I think they've all taken turns at being the one that I've got on repeat. But I think Rapture is currently really doing it for me. So good. That one's very old school of Vanessa sounding to be. Yes. And I think it's why I like it so much because I listened to sanctuary all the way through

and then listen to Fallen again all the way through. And then when I listened to Sanctuary all the way through again, I was like, it was just something about rapture that's just like, the perfect blend of like old school evanescence with a new, like, that still has like a new sound and like really like powerful lyrics. I know.

I really wish they had put choir on that one. Oh, man, that is literally the only thing that would make that one better. It would have been so good because it sounds very like, I don't know, like Amy, take me to church. Oh, absolutely. It's so fucking good. Anyway, thank you for letting me talk about it nonstop.

I've been messaging Abby because I've like, you and Maddie are probably the only other people I know that really truly enjoy Evanescence like I do. And I just like, I need to talk about it with somebody. Always, always happy to talk about Evanescence with you. Oh, my favorite. I really do feel like I'm 13 again. I'm just so excited. Just Kelsey's inner teenager is just absolutely freaking out.

Mm-hmm. Like, oh, this is my whole personality again. I need to get the sheet music so I can learn some of the ballads on the piano. You should. Oh, my gosh. I mean, forever without you actually might be my favorite track. That, like, it's so powerful. Mm-hmm.

And, like, the way she's, like, screaming the lyrics. at points and it's just like it feels like such a release or it sounds like a release. And I love that it's arranged kind of like a love ballad or like a broken heart ballad. But I like that the thesis of the song is this is actually really good for me. And you know what? I feel like maybe that's something I needed to hear and have a song for. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, the best.

What a... This is, like, honestly, this is what we needed right now. Mm-hmm. I really do feel like that. Mm-hmm. And, like, for them to come out with, like, this album at this time just feels really special and healing. Mm-hmm. Agreed.

So excited to see them live. You have to tell me everything when you go, because you're going before me. I am, but I'm... You've got way better seats. I've like, because I got on this, I got in this wagon late. So I'm, I'm going to be on the lawn. That's fun too, though. Oh, I love lawn.

I love lawn concerts. For groups that I really care about, I obviously like to be a little closer. Yeah. But I'm still going to have a great time. Like lawn seats are so fun. Like, because then you can like, you can just have a picnic and like enjoy the stars and the music. and I'm really looking forward to it. I will tell you how it goes.

Yes. So anyway, that's all I've been focusing on lately. That and happy Pride Month. Yes. Happy Pride, everybody. I did go to. I went to drag bingo last night. It was so fun.

But you were telling me about this drag show movie? So it's not a drag show. show movie necessarily. But I wanted to talk about it, especially like as a segue in a way into the story that I'm going to tell. So the movie is called Slay.

And it's a to be original. To be original. I don't know they had those. They do. I'm pretty sure it's a tubeby original anyway. Let me fact check myself real quick. Slay. to be.

Yeah, it's a two be. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a true. I know the one you're talking about, but I can't think of the name of it. Drag queen. Two Wong food. Thanks for everything. Julie Newmar.

Just kidding. I did not know the name of that at all. So this movie, Slay is Julie Newmar, is Tuang Fu meets from Dust Till Dawn. Oh, I love that. So it's a bunch of drag queens or like a group of drag queens has booked a venue to go do a show at. But it turns out that it's not the venue they thought they were going to perform at. It's actually a fucking crazy like biker bar in the middle of nowhere. But they're there.

They encounter. Yes. But let me get there. Oh, my God. So they stay, they decide to stay to do their show because they're two adorable baby queers who are the only queer people in town. We're so excited that they booked this venue and we're going to come that they showed up for the show.

And the drag queens are like, oh, my God. Well, we can't, we can't leave the babies without doing their performance. So they start doing their show for all of these. these rough ruff bikers and these two baby gays that sounds I'm definitely watching this tonight

oh my god I'm already so excited but when I and then you know because it's also from dust till dawn the venue is attacked by vampires and shenanigans ensue oh that sounds so fucking good

it's so fucking good I cannot I cannot I cannot hype it enough. I think everyone should see it. It's so gross and funny and wholesome and lovely. And it will, the part of you that felt a little let down will be healed by this movie. I'm so excited. I'm watching it tonight.

That sounds. Perfect. So good. It's excellent Pride Month viewing. It's excellent any month viewing, but it's fantastic. But it's Pride Month. It's Pride Month. I know.

I don't usually do a lot of things for Pride or like, but I have like this little pride pin that I put on my purse, like a little keychain kind of thing. And it totally took me off guard because one of like the cashiers of Trader Joe's was just like, oh, happy Pride. And it was like so exciting. That's so sweet. I was just like, oh my God. Oh my gosh, thank you.

You too. It was very exciting. Oh, I love it. That's amazing. Yeah. Speaking of pride, this is my excellent segue into the, thank you. Into the fairy tale fix part of our thing. I have a little background on this, but I think I'm going to give it to you at the end,

I don't want to muddle your predictions. Okay. But the story that I'm doing today is the 12 Huntsman, which is a Brothers Grimm fairy tale. Oh. It's not in our Jack Zipes book because it's not, I don't think it's one of the original 100. I think that they added this one later to later editions. Mm-hmm. The 12 Huntsman and it's gay.

I wouldn't say it's gay. I would say more that it has a serious case of gender. Okay, okay. A serious case of gender is so good. It's very gender. How many predictions do I get? You can have three. Three.

Okay. Then I am going to predict, I guess, like, gender swapping. Solid. I want to predict there's 12 of them huh that's a lot that's a lot that's quite a few huntsmen it's a whole troop in fact

I want to predict that they are hot hot huntsmen and in my opinion I think that's you know could also be hot in personality in prediction three Ooh, it's a brother's grim. Oh, something I was doing earlier this week.

After we recorded on Rowan and Pine, I started making a fairy tale fix bingo card. Oh, my God. I don't have it yet, but I'm totally going to finish it. And I was like, what do we see a lot? So I was thinking about this a lot yesterday, actually. Okay. What do we see a lot in Grimm's stories?

We could probably do a bingo card, just on grim. I know, right? I needed your help finishing it because there were a couple of spots that I was like. Because I did one for damsels in distress that I'm going to send to Rowan and Pine. And then I wanted to make one for just our podcast. Amazing. Because obviously got to have like the dead horse square.

Yeah, exactly. I needed horse murder to be in one of the squares. And talking animal. I wanted to put talking cat, but. Okay. Gender swap, hot huntsman. And I'm going to predict. I guess a tricky king?

Yeah, I'll do that. Cool. Tricky king. That's in a lot of them. Especially Grims. It's a classic, especially in the Grimm's fairy tales. That's a solid choice. Oh, and if you're listening to this and you have ideas for a fairy tale fix bingo square,

please send it to me. I would love to know. We want to see you. We can do multiple, multiple cards. Yes. I'm going to like make a little design and maybe we can put them on our website and if you want, you could play along.

Yeah, bingo. Okay. This is the 12 huntsman. Once upon a time, there was a king's son who was engaged to a princess whom he dearly loved. one day, as he sat by her side feeling very happy,

he received news that his father was lying at the point of death and decided to see him before his end. So he said to his love, alas, I must go off and leave you, but take this ring and wear it as remembrance of me. And when I am king, I will return and fetch you home. Okay. Something I kind of think is interesting about this story

is that it starts where most fairy tales usually end. Yeah. which is there's a king's son and a princess who are already engaged. Yeah, that's interesting. Their fairy tale already happened theoretically. But oh no, there's a part two. That's usually where all the wild stuff happens. Indeed.

So he makes her this promise and he rides off. And when he reaches his father, he finds him mortally ill and very near death. And the king says, Dearest son, I have desired to see you again before my end. promise me, I beg of you, that you will marry according to my wishes. And then he then named the daughter of a neighboring king who he was anxious should be his son's wife. Okay. The prince was so...

Very strategic. Yes, make this a deathbed request. The prince was so overwhelmed with grief that he could think of nothing but his father and exclaimed, yes, dear father, whatever you desire shall be done. I know. That's sweet. It is sweet. But that really sucks for him and his lady love.

Yeah. Thereupon, the king closed his eyes and died. I mean, he could just not do that. Just not do it, but I don't know. I feel like breaking a deathbed promise is, that is risky business. Yeah, that can't be good. So, after the first thing, And how are you going to say no to your dying dad too?

You can't. What are you supposed to say? Would you call that a tricky king? Is that tricky? I don't know. I feel like we're lacking context in this relationship because I also wonder, like, did he not know that his son was already engaged elsewhere? Does he hate her?

Is there a reason she's a bad match? Like I That's like a possible point It's a possible point It's arguable like I think it's definitely You may make your case for it at the end of the story Because like I just feel like I feel like it has the seeds there of a tricky king

But we lack context for why his son wants to For why he won't make his son marry this prince A different princess Like Funny I like it. I like the idea of it just being a floating point that's like, maybe, but we'll never know. We'll never get enough information to satisfactorily answer that question.

Okay. I'm going to put a question mark. In your notes. Hmm. So after the prince was proclaimed king and the after the prince was proclaimed king and the usual time. And the usual time of mourning had elapsed. He felt that he must keep the promise he made to his father, so he sent to ask for the hand of the king's daughter,

which was granted to him at once. Okay. Now, his first love heard of this, and the thought of her lover's desertion grieved her so sadly that she pined away and nearly died. Aw. Mm-hmm. As they do.

Yeah. But not quite. Not quite. She's not quite dead. She's going to get... She's not... She's going to get him back. Yes. She's like, you know what?

Fuck that. I'm not dying over this man. I'm going to get him back. I love that for her. Me too. Her father said to her, My dearest child, why are you so unhappy?

If there's anything you wish for, say so and you shall have it. And his daughter reflected for a moment and then said, Dear father, I wish for 11 girls as nearly as possible of the same height, age, and appearance as myself. Interesting. Uh-huh.

Okay. The plot begins. I like this. I want 11 girls that look exactly like me. I love this. She's taking agency. She's being like, you know what? I've got a plan.

I'm going to get him back. This plan makes no sense, but she does have it. said the king, If this thing is possible, your wish shall be fulfilled. He had his kingdom searched till he found 11 maidens of the same height, size, and appearance as his daughter. Then the princess desired 12 complete huntsman suits to be made, all exactly alike. And the 11 maidens had to dress themselves in 11 of the suits while she herself put on the 12th. And after this, she took leave of her father and rode off with her girls to the court of her former.

her lover. I don't know. I feel like this could go. I feel like I'm coming up with a fix in my head that you might appreciate. And that she just goes off with these 11 hot girls. Uh-huh. And they're just 11 hot girls who all look alike who go and wreak havoc in other kingdoms. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. In a one big polycule. I know. I'm dying to know what her plan. Like what? Is she, wait. Is she just trying to. you think her plan is.

Yes. I want to have like an extra prediction moment. Mid-story prediction. Is she going to like have them just everywhere so he like never stops thinking about her? Is it just like is she haunting him? That's my prediction. Okay. Haunting him.

Yeah. She's just, she wants him to see her everywhere and he can't stop thinking about her because. Right? I don't know. What else could it be? I guess you said it makes no. sense though, so. It does.

That prediction is already a little too, a little too sensible for what's actually going on. Feel free to keep guessing as the story continues to unfold. I will. Okay. So that she takes off with these girls to the court of her former lover. And here she inquires whether the king did not want some huntsmen. and if he would not take them all into his service. The king saw her but did not recognize her.

And as he thought them very good-looking young people, I know. That's so rude. I know. What the fuck? Okay. She's a man. There's no possible way.

Men are men and women are women. And women don't look like men ever. Ever. gosh. It is impossible to put on a pair of trousers. Anyway, he doesn't recognize her, but he thinks that all of these huntsmen are pretty good-looking young guys. And he said, yes. He literally says he thought them very good-looking young people.

Yeah. It's a little, um, it thinks are pretty hot. It's not fair when people are hot, like, both ways. Like, you're hot, I know. Female presenting and you're hot male presenting. You're just hot. That's not fair. You look good in every single, everything, always.

But also I'm happy for you. I'm not mad. I'm not mad about it. I'm just jealous. I think you'd make a very hot guy. I don't know. I don't know. I remember that app.

That like TikTok filter or whatever that made you look like a man. It was very scary. I was like I would have been terrified of that man if I saw him. He probably just wasn't styled, right? You know, that's fair. The grooming was wrong. That's fair. Okay.

You get a point though, because canonically, they're pretty hot. Yeah. Yeah, hot huntsman. Oh, and gender swap. And gender swap. That's two points for you. Ooh. Wait, two and a question mark.

Two and a question mark. Two? TBD. Two? My official. Okay, anyway. I love this story so far. He hires them.

Yeah, he does. He's like, I want you on my. Yeah. He's like, 12 hot guys taking me into the woods to hunt animals. Absolutely. And so they became the 12 royal huntsmen. Now the king, this is amazing. The king had a most remarkable lion for it knew every hidden or secret thing.

That is pretty remarkable. It's very remarkable. It's a very remarkable lion. Why didn't I guess? Why didn't I predict that? I don't know why. Talking cat was on the table. Now, okay, yeah.

The lion knows everything. And one evening, the lion said to the king, So you think you've got 12 huntsmen, do you? This lion is sassy as fuck. So sassy. So he's just been letting it go on and he's like, just bored. Yeah, and now he's decided to start going, I want to go stir some shit up.

Scares some shit up. Yes, certainly, said the king. They are 12 huntsmen. There, you are mistaken, said the lion. They are 12 maidens. 12 hunts women. Yeah. Or 12 hunts men.

Stop being so binary. Yeah. This lion is problematic. You have no idea. Apparently this lion doesn't know everything. No. This lion knows nothing. actually, as it turns out, and we're about to see just how problematic this lion is going to go.

Oh, no. That cannot possibly be, replied the king. How do you mean to prove that? I'm sorry. We're getting to the part that made me scream. Just have a number of peas strewed over the floor of your antechamber, said the lion, and you will soon see. men have a strong, firm tread, so that if they happen to walk over with peas,

not one will stir, but girls trip, slip, and slide, so the peas all roll about. I don't know, Abby. This plan sounds flawless. Can you read that again? Yes. The king asks,

how do you mean to prove that they're girls? And the lion says, just have a number of peas strewn over the floor of your antechamber. men have a strong, firm tread. So if they happen to walk over the peas, they won't move any of them. But girls will trip and slip and slide.

So all the peas roll about. Amazing. Incredible. I'm so excited to see what happens. Is that true? That's how I'm going to figure stuff out from now on. Absolutely. Now the true test of, are you a girl?

is do you slip, trip and slide all over stuff on the floor? Oh my God. Specifically peas. Mm-hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. So the king was pleased with the lion's advice and ordered the peas to be strewn in his ante room.

Fortunately, one of the king's servants had become very partial to the young huntsman, and hearing of the trial they were to be put to, he went to them and said, the lion wants to persuade the king that you're all girls and then told them the plot. The king's daughter thanked him for the hint, and after he was gone, she said to her maidens, make sure to tread firmly on the peas. We're going to stomp all over those peas. Stomp all over them. Oh my goodness.

Next morning, when the king sent for his 12 huntsmen and they passed through the ante room, which was plentifully strewn with peas, they trod so firmly and walked with such a steady, strong step that not a single pea rolled away or even so much as stirred. After they were gone, the king said to the lion,

there now, you have been telling lies. You see yourself they walk like men. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They're just like stamping. So manly. So manly. It reminds me of

in Moulon when Mushu was trying, to get Mulan to act like a man. He's like, now, spit. And strut, strut, strut, strut, strut. I just rewatch that movie not that long ago. It's so good. It's so funny. Okay.

So, the king says they walk like men. So, you know, you're wrong line. You walk like a man, talk like a man is a man. Like a man. And men have a specific walk. It is definitely the only way that men walk And women only walk in a slippy, Slitty way.

But they knew they were being put to the test, answered the lion. And so they made an effort. But just have a dozen spinning wheels placed in the ante room. When they pass through, you'll see how pleased they will be, quite unlike any man.

They can't be. Women can't help it. They love to spin. They love to spin. They love it so much. They will run to the spinning wheels immediately. Oh, my God. But the good-natured servant went to the huntsman and told them all about this fresh plot.

And then, as soon as the king's daughter was alone with her maidens, she exclaimed, don't even look at him. Ladies, listen up. I know you love spinning. We love spinning. So much. Pray make a great effort and don't even look at the spinning wheels. What would be like the today's version of this? That's such a good question.

Instead of spinning wheels, it's like shoes. What do girls love? Shoes and crafts. Yeah. Shoes, crochet hooks. It's true. I would immediately run up to a crochet hook. Although like in a 1950,

way, it's like it would be vacuum cleaners or like a dishwasher. Yeah, because it has to be like a chore. It has to be chores women are associated with, but we secretly love them. And that's how you can tell that we're women. A bunch of unfolded laundry. Ooh. Well, we can't help herself. She's going to run over to it and just just go run over there and start folding it.

Oh, this is so funny. This story is hilarious. I love it. Okay, so when the king sent for his 12 huntsmen the next morning, they walked through the ante room without even casting a glance at the spinning wheels. Such strong wills. It's very strong wills because they wanted, they wanted them. So bad. Women love chores.

I just want to spin. I love spinning. Don't look at it. Don't even look at it. Don't even look at them. Then the king said once. more of the lion, you have deceived me again. They are men for they never once looked at the spinning wheels. And the lion replied, they knew they were being tried and they did violence to their feelings. They did violence to their feelings. But the king is over this. He declined to believe in the lion any

longer. And so the 12 huntsman. Sorry, we're not going to get a third trial because please tell me there's a third trial. There's not, unfortunately. There's just the two. I know. I really want a million crazy gender tests. That's so funny. Just two. Interesting. I know. Just two. Usually these things come in threes, but just two in this story.

Okay. Fine. So the huntsman continued to follow the king and he grew daily fonder of them. One day, whilst they were all out hunting, it so happened that news was brought that the king's intended bride was on her way and might soon be expected. When the true bride heard of this, she... Oh, right, because they, the true bride, I've got confused in my own head for a second. The true bride means one of the huntsmen. When the true bride heard of this, she felt as though a knife had pierced her heart,

and she fell fainting to the ground. She's got a very delicate constitution. Okay, I know we've moved on from the trials, but I just have to say... No, please, go back, go back. They're the whole reason I wanted to read this story. My fix immediately is that you add a third trial, but then I want three more trials to be like, no, let's prove that they're men. So it's like the opposite.

Oh my God. That's a good idea. They leave out a bunch of like axes or something and they have to go, yeah, directly to the steak. Yeah. Like they leave out a charcoal grill with some like stuff to me. Or like, okay, we're going to leave out like a bottle of wine and an ale of beer and which one are they going to go for? Which are they going to go for? Sorry.

I want that so badly. Me too. That's a great fix. I like that a lot. I'm sad for this. I'm sad for the princess, though. I don't know. I still don't know what her plan is exactly.

Does she just want to be near him? Oh, she's so romantic. She doesn't appear to have had any plan. She just wanted to be around. Aw. It's very sweet and very sad. Yeah. Yeah, but also they spend all this time together and he still doesn't know it's her, apparently.

Feels crazy. Anyway, so she faints. and the king, fearing something had happened to his dear huntsman, ran up to help and began drawing off his gloves. But then he saw the ring which he had given to his first glove. And as he gazed into her face, he knew her again. And his heart was so touched that he kissed her. And she opened her eyes.

And he cried, I am thine and thou art mine. And now power on earth can alter that. Aww. Aww. So cute. He got there. He got there. Well, my theory is that, like, maybe he'd just been falling in love with her all over again.

Ooh, I love that, too. That, like, the disguise was really good, and it just didn't, like, so I don't know, he just was falling in love with his huntsman now. It's very Mulan. Yes. It's very Mulan, yeah. And I really like the worst character is this random lion, like, like, wise lion. No one's really behaving poorly in this. No, everyone's doing pretty okay.

Like, I'm, I'm on everyone's side. Right. And honestly, I, the lion is problematic, but he's still my favorite character. Oh, funny. This, like, strange bio-essentialist lion with very, very interesting gender tests. It's so funny. This lion is bored. This lion's just stirring.

He's just throwing shit up for sure. So he recognizes his true ride. He declares that no power on earth can alter them being together. And to the other princess, he dispatched a messenger to beg her to return to her own kingdom with all speed. He broke up with her via text. Why a text? Well, she was like on her way to their wedding. Oh my goodness.

Like she can't even stay the night in the kingdom. She has to turn around and go home. Sorry, it's just not going to work out. I'm getting back together with my ex. With my ex. Go home. I know. You couldn't even like, I don't, yeah, like, set her up with one of those hot huntsmen.

I mean, my original fix for the story was that the print was that, because like we never meet her. Was that the fiance or. vibes. We have no feelings about her like one way or the other. I want to know more about her like, how is she feeling? Yeah. Does she want a wife too? Because he's got 11 other identical matches.

That would be a sexy story. It would be sexy. Maybe a fix could be that she was like already there while all this was happening and she's slowly falling in love with the huntsmen. All 11 of the other ones. All 11. And she's like, fuck it. I'm going to be a huntsman too.

Absolutely. That's great. That's great. And then their kingdoms can still be collaborative or whatever. Whatever. Like she's still dying where she went. Yeah. And now all three kingdoms are hooked up.

Or they have an understanding. That's great. It's just a political marriage. Absolutely. Anyway, so many options. Pop out a couple kids, you know, for the bloodline or whatever. Yeah, whatever. And then everybody just bangs their hot husband on the side.

Okay, so he tells the other princess to piss off because our dreams don't come true. Four said he, I have got a wife. And he who finds an old key again does not require a new one. Okay. I'm trying to sound like smart. Trying to sound like spending too much time with that lion. For real. The lion wrote that actually.

Yeah. Everybody's like, what are you even talking about? Thereupon the wedding was celebrated with great pomp. And the lion was restored to royal favor. For after all, he had told the truth. The end. That was so good. I'm glad you liked it.

I love the. story. I think it's so funny. It was so funny. See, I'm not even mad at the lion. I like the read of the lion just being a little potter and seeing what's going on here and wanting to mess around

with everybody's days. I think that that's way better than like my original read is that this is a lion who is very anxious about gender roles being maintained. He's very anxious about the gender binary. No, they're women.

That's really important. Everybody. It's very important that women stay women and men stay men. Only men are huntsmen. Only men are huntsmen and men trod this way and women trod that way. And there's no way that anything could be in the middle. That probably is very much the role that was actually given to the lion. or like that probably is the original idea.

Well, and that's probably the moral of the story in the time period this was written. Yeah, yeah. Because she does instruct her ladies, okay, I know it's going to be hard, but don't look at those spinning. Oh, that's so funny. Oh, my goodness.

But I love the read of the lion is just like, he's just stirring the pot. He just, he sees what's going to, going on here and he just thinks it's super funny. And I like the King's kind of reaction is just once he finds out, he's just like, oh, I love you so much. It wasn't like, oh, are you trying, like, you tried to deceive me. Like, he's not mad.

Yeah, I, because I think that's one of my least favorite tropes in romance ever is the, you lied to me. Trope, especially if the person who lied to them had a good reason or, if it was a lie of a mission and it wasn't even like a purposeful lie. It was just they just didn't tell you, but you didn't need to know that. I mean, if anything, he could have seen that as being really creepy and it like, wow, you were like living here and not. Uh-huh.

Like, what was your plan? She didn't have one. She had no plan. There was no reason. And she, like, also mystifying, why did she need? like 12 people who also looked like her to do this? That I think I understand. I think in this case, I feel like she wanted 11 other women who look like her

so that if she had gotten like 11 like men, maybe she would have stood out more. Yeah, but why did there need to be 11 other people at all? Yeah, that was a lot. But I also think I think the original point stands, I think that they she blends in better with all of them if they all look the same. And then that also gives us wiggle room for believing that the prince doesn't recognize her specifically. Yeah. If it's 12 people who all look kind of vaguely like my ex showed up, but they're all, they all say they're men and they dress like men and tell me that they're different people.

So, you know, I think it's just camouflage. I think she'd, and I think that she just wanted to be near him. because she loved him. I think I think my idea of her just haunting him is very funny. Yeah, I love yours. She's just like, you're never going to stop thinking about me because I'm everywhere. Which is petty and delicious. I love that because that gives her a personality.

That's not just I faint when I'm upset. Aw. She sounds fun. She sounds cute. I also love. your fix of three more trials, but this time to prove that they're men. Definitely. The king is like mad at the lion and he's like, no, I need you to know that they are men.

Yeah, they're definitely men. And you can tell because they started grilling the meat immediately. Then they took out the trash and they mowed the lawn. They are really mad when we changed the temperature of the house. Yeah. They got really mad when we touched the thermostat. Yeah. That shit's so funny.

Then they said, what am I made of money? I love that like the old school, the peas and the spinning wheels. So good. I want a hundred more like really old, you know, gender tests. Gender tests. This is how you can tell this is a girl. Slipping all over the peas. You're slipping all over the place.

But wouldn't they be more graceful and like, I think it would make more sense to be like, oh, the men would just stomp on the peas, but the women would like walk around the peas. I agree with you. Slipping and sliding? That's so random. I don't. I love it. I don't know that the lion has like the lion is also a little sexist.

I don't think the lion has a high opinion of women. Clearly. Clearly. Before we move on from this story, I did just want to say that the reason why I chose the story was because Heidi bought me this book for my birthday last year. It's called This Princess Kills Monsters. And this book is the fairy tale fix for this fairy tale. The introduction to this book is the author basically saying, so I read this fairy tale and I had questions. This is a great read to add to your TVRs,

especially if you want to read more queer authors. This book was written by Rye Herman, R-Y-H-E-R-M-A-N. This Princess Kills Monsters. And it's essentially like a queer retelling of this fairy tale in particular, which makes the queer themes much more overt. But it also, it still includes a lot of cross-dressing. It includes a very weird lion who has a lot of strange gender tests. And it's told from the perspective, and Kelsey, like you and Rye are on the same page.

It's told from the perspective of the princess who was supposed to be the one getting married. Ooh, fun. Because she comes early and she's been there the whole time. Yes. I want her story. That's so fun. What a good idea. What was the author's name again?

Rye Herman R-Y is how you spell their first name. And then Herman, H-E-R-M-A-N. Hell yeah. We'll put that link to the book in our show notes. Yeah, if you want it, message us. They'll send you the link. Absolutely. And such a cute read.

It was really fast. And also, if you're a fan of this show, you'll like this one. Because in addition to just this fairy tale, it also is just stuffed to the gill. with fairy tale references. It's its own bingo card. You got to ship it to me so I can read it. I will. I will ship this one to you so that you can read it.

I think you'll really like it. And our book exchange. I have more books I need to send you too, I'm sure of it. We'll just swap them. I'll send you a few and you can send me a few. But I really like this book a lot. Nice. That was so fun.

I'm glad you loved it. Oh my goodness. It's such a cool. It's such a fun story by itself. And then I love that now it has this book that like fairy tale fixes it in a way that I really liked. Fuck yeah. All right. My story is also for Pride Month.

Woohoo. Woohoo. Hello. Which was hard to find. It's very hard to find because I don't want to tell like a retelling of a fairy tale. I want to tell, you know, a more OG folk tale. kind of feel. Well, because that's what we do

on our podcast. Yeah. And like fairy tale retellings, I feel like start edging into other people's original IP. Yes, exactly. Territory. But I did find

a story. I couldn't find it anywhere else other than this blog. And it is called the unicorn. Oh my gosh. Or El Orecuerino.

It's a Spanish folk tale. I found it through Laura Simons. She's really cool. She has a fairy tale podcast called Patchbrook Fairy Tales podcast. So go check that out. She doesn't have a ton of episodes, but she has a very soothing voice. I listen to a couple. She's great.

She also has like a website with a folklore and fantasy blog and webcomic. So Sounds awesome. Yeah. Yeah. And Laura found this story through a book called A Case Study in Folktale Analysis,

The Shift of Sex in Hispanic Societies. Hmm. So it's a folktale collected by Aurelio Espinoza in 1947 from an unidentified informant in Quinza in central Spain. So it's pretty short, so why don't you just give me two predictions for the unicorn? Well, I hate to say it, but horse murder. Horse murder. Excellent.

Or unicorn murder, I guess, in this case. But like equine, equine murder. Equine murder. Okay. Horse murder. And what's your second prediction? I'm taking too long to think about it. Hunting.

It's hard. Okay. Hunting. I love it. I love it. Huntsman on the brain. And honestly, I was so excited to find this because I think we've had unicorns in like two other fairy tales.

We don't see unicorns very often in fairy tales. We don't. Very rare. Yeah. In an actual story. Like, they don't pop up a lot of folklore about unicorns, but they're not usually like in the stories. Like mermaids are or something. So yeah.

Okay. Once upon a time, there was a young maiden who had a sweetheart. And in the town where she lived, there was another boy who was in love with her. And he always was walking around her pursuing her. One time, when she was talking with her sweetheart at the window of her house, the other one approached and killed her sweetheart. Oh, my God. It's fucked up. Okay, so fucking creepy assholes who think that they should be getting your time have existed forever.

And some of them are willing to fucking kill about it. That's crazy. Yep. And as she knew well who the assassin was, she left one night to seek her revenge. Hell yes. Oh, my God. I love this story already. I know, a strong start.

And on coming to a streetcomer, she met him and shot him with the blood. blunderbuss. But instead killing only him, she killed both him and his companion. Okay. She's a badass. She's a badass. With one shot? Out for blood.

Damn. It doesn't say, but maybe, I don't know. Let's say yeah. Flicks with one blow. One shot. And seeing that she could not escape the law, she left that same night from her house. Walking, walking, walking in the woods, she arrived at

a cabin of Shepherds, and she told them what had happened to her and asked if they would do her a favor in giving her shepherd's clothes so that she would not be recognized. And she dressed herself as a man and cut her hair and went out into the world. Fantastic. Okay. Another case of gender. Another case of gender. We're still very gendery. Yeah, yeah. And she arrived at a town and put herself into the service at a house of commerce. She said that her name was Carlos. The daughter of the house fell in love with Carlos And she told her father

She wanted to marry him But her father said But daughter It is he who must declare his love for you Women never speak first Oh, ew, okay So we've also got more women Women are like this, women aren't like this

You have to behave X way Yep I love a I love someone discounting a woman Like, just not like thinking that she can be a murderer or... Absolutely. Like fully just counting her out. Yeah.

Love it. Okay. So she was so insistent that her father went and told Carlos that her daughter was in love with him and she wanted to marry him. The poor girl, Carlos, didn't know what to do. But there was no other solution but to get married. Oh, no. Oh, no. The only thing I can do.

I can't leave town again. Definitely not. That didn't work last time. I definitely have to marry this girl. That's the only solution. And so they went to bed. And the man is always supposed to get in bed first, but Carlos did not get in bed. And finally...

The man is supposed to get in bed first? Uh-huh. That a thing? I guess. In this story it is. Cool. Finally, the girl got in bed first, and Carlos did not want to get into bed. Then the girl, tired of waiting, said, Carlos, aren't you coming to bed?

So Carlos went to bed, and he approached the bed very sadly without saying a word. And the girl said to him, what's wrong, Carlos? Why are you sad? Aren't you happy? And so Carlos told her the truth and told her that she was not. not a man, but a woman. And the girl told her, well, I feel like this is written kind of odd, but it's also translated.

But the girl told her, well, look, don't worry about it. We won't say anything and we'll carry on as if you were a man. And they lived this way for many years. Oh my goodness. And also, we'll carry on right here. I love it. I love it. She's like, I don't care.

I also kind of take that to mean, yeah, I know. I like that better. Why did you think I was like, ooh? I am so in love with him. Mm-hmm. So they carried that way or they lived this way for many years. But as they did not have a family, all started to suspect that Carlos was a woman. And all started to say that Carlos was a woman.

Sorry, so they started suspect her and then they started talking about it. Talking about it. The father of the girl said, We will have a banquet and put high chairs and low chairs. For if Carlos is a woman, he will sit in the low chair. What? I love it.

Oh, my God. So there are more crazy gender tests in this one. That's so great. That's almost as stupid as the peas thing. Yes, it is. Obviously, if Carlos is really woman, they'll sit in the low chair. He'll sit in the low chair. So good.

And so they went to the banquet and Carlos went and sat on the highest chair that there was in this way. No one found out anything. Now, I have no idea if Carlos knew about this ruse, but like I just like the idea that Carlos is like, no, I'm sitting in the highest chair. In the high chair. With my hot wife. Yeah. Also, Carlos has been living as a man for years at this point. Like, I think he knows what Cher to sit in.

I think Carlos is a man. Yeah. I think Carlos is a man. So no one found out anything. And the father said, well, now we will go on a hunt. Ding, ding, ding. Sweet. Wow, you and I were just on a very similar wavelength this week.

We really were. Well, I think it also might be the kind of stories we're looking for. Yeah, they tend to be. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. A little similar. So let's see. Now we will go on a hunt and afterwards to the baths at the river.

For if Garlos is a woman, he will not want to bathe. And they all went on the hunt and they went to eat. And after eating, the father said to the horsemen, Now to the baths to bathe ourselves in the river. Like men. Like men. do all together naked in this river it's very manly very manly stuff and carlo said wait for me a bit i have to go do my business relieve himself it says in parentheses just in case we don't know

what do my business yeah in this way he left i also liked that in this whole story all of the he him pronouns and referring to Carlos are in quotation marks. Mm-hmm. It's eye roll inducing. Absolutely. It's like, no. No, I think Carlos is a man.

I think we can establish that. Anyway. I think murdering someone was just an excuse to live the way Carlos Carlos always wanted to live. Hell yeah. Or just one shot. Anyway, I love that it's called a blunderbust

too. That's very pirity. Very pirity. In this way, he left alone very sad and sat on a stone. And when he saw a creature with very large antlers, and the creature approached him and told him to take off his clothes. So he took off his clothes. And the creature, which was the oriquino or the unicorn,

the unicorn, made the sign of the cross over his groin. and in a moment the maiden became a man. And the Oroquerno disappeared, and Carlos went back to the river where the men were and took off his clothes and went to bathe and all saw that he was a man. Oh my gosh. I know, isn't that exciting?

So, like, these, connolly a trans man in this story. Yeah, magic, gender transforming unicorn. Oh, that's so cool. Like that's the that's so cool I love it Like I mean Carlos was already a man Because Carlos was living as a man

And that is clearly how Carlos wanted wanted it Absolutely But like a gender confirming unicorn Yeah gender affirming unicorn That's fantastic Fuck yeah I love this story so much And then he just dizzed out

Like the unicorn just shows up Like oh Well you seem to have a miss Your Partsy mismatched. Uh-huh. Let me just fix that for you. I can fix that for you.

Well, bye. All right. Bye. In this way, they all saw that he was not a woman and all went back to the house. And when they saw that Carlos came to, the servant entered and told the girl, do you know, mistress, that Carlos is coming to? And she, as she knew that now, all would know that Carlos was not a man, had already said goodbye to him.

So they'd already talked about this before the hunt, I think. Oh, is that they were going to have to, Carlos is going to have to skip town again. Yeah. Or something. Or die. Like, I don't know what the plan was, but they had talked about it. And she had already said goodbye for all eternity. And she was so very surprised and said to the servant, but how was it possible?

Do you know what you were saying? And she went to the balcony and saw them coming. And when Carlos arrived and he told her what had happened. The end. The end. Okay. The end. So obviously that needs a huge fix in that, I don't know, they're obviously in love and like living happily together. So I would love a more like happy ending of her being like super stoked and runs up and kisses him. Absolutely. Like stoked that he's still alive. Yeah. I think also like, you know, I could do without the quotation marks around he and him before the actual like physical transformation. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

definitely. But yeah, I thought that was a really, like, sweet. That's really cool. And I love, I love, I love when we find the occasional story that actually does, like, affirm a sex change. Yeah, totally. And that has happened a couple of times. Well, the only other one that I can, well, no, you're right. It has happened a couple of times.

Yeah, where a character gets, like a protagonist gets gender swap. like for real by some sort of magic. I wonder if this book that their site, that Laura cites on this blog has more information, and I have to look it up. Yeah, please do, because I'd be curious. It is from 1996, but I'm really interested. I'm still really interested.

Yeah, absolutely. Pretty cool. I want to see something I would love to see is because I think that most of the times when we look at these fairy tales where like this happens where like a physical change actually takes place because of magic. It's usually almost always like a girl who has become a boy. And I wonder if there are any stories that like go the opposite way. Yeah.

I bet that's just like the sad thing about finding queer fairy and folk tales is that I'm sure they existed at one point or another. They just weren't written down. or kept because... They weren't preserved. Yeah. Yeah. Or, and then also like, even, even in like, non-Western cultures, which I think have, like,

there are so many cultures out there that have, like, a much more nuanced idea of gender in the first place. Mm-hmm. Or, like, a more, like, special, like, ritualized place for trans people within their cultures. And I'm sure that there's folklore and stories behind all of that. We just don't. know them or talk about them.

Yeah. Well, who knows? Maybe well. Yeah. Rediscover something someday. I don't know. I feel like old texts

are always being like discovered. Yeah, absolutely. This story was so cool, though. I really, I really, really liked it. Carlos is such a badass. Hell yeah. Badass bisexual.

Just getting, his vengeance and running off into the wilderness and stealing, stealing hearts and encountering unicorns. And I, I love that. So much. Yeah, that's so great. It's like, I don't know. I didn't know what to expect when I started reading this.

And I was like, that couldn't have been better. And I also like that it's called a unicorn. And it's just in there like for like literally two sentences. Literally two seconds. That should have been my guess is that like there's no unicorn. Yeah. There's barely unicorn. The unicorn is in there to provide a little magic and then leave.

Yeah. So anyway, happy pride, everybody. We hope you enjoyed these stories. And I hope you're having, you know, the gayest month possible. Yes. I hope you're just really out there enjoying this time, reading the queer books, watching the queer movies, going. to the queer parades. And watching Slay on Tobey.

Oh my gosh. Go watch Slay. Have an amazing time. Yeah. And that's going to do it for us today. You can support the show by leaving us a review on any podcatcher that you happen to be listening to this show on. You can leave us five stars.

You can leave us a word review about how you liked this. episode or what your fixes might be, or if you can't think of anything to say, but you want to leave us a review anyway, I think our word for this episode is just going to be a case of gender, is all you can, you just write that down. If you would like to support us monetarily,

you can go to Fairy Tale FixPod. Actually, no, we don't do that anymore. you can go to patreon.com forward slash fairy tale fixpod and sign up to become a patron. You'll get merch books, extra episodes. If you start right now, maybe a handmade envelope from Kelsey. Maybe. You can also engage with us on Instagram at Fairytail FixPod if you just want to chat or you want to send us. stories that you think that we should be covering that we haven't covered yet,

or you can do the same by writing us at info at fairy talefixpod.com. And how do I want to fix my story? I think I'm going to do it both ways. And so there were a few more delightfully crazy gender tests to be faced by the 12 huntsmen. at least one more to determine if they're girls, but then definitely a few to determine, to prove that they're boys. And I would be equally excited either way.

And the princess that was supposed to get married is also there the whole time quietly falling in love with one of the huntsmen on the side, all coming together and having a delightful, polychulious time. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. And Carlos and his maiden, I don't know, reconciled romantically and we're just so excited.

And actually. Rush into each other's arms and make out furiously. Yeah. And actually just got to live for real. Mm-hmm. Happily ever after. The end.