Fairy Tale Fix - 19: Everyone’s Behaving Badly

Episode Date: June 8, 2021

Abbie tells one of the potentially best fairy tales of all time if only everyone hadn’t behaved so badly, East O’ The Sun and West O’ The Moon. Kelsey retells an existentially traumatic yet beautiful tale from our favorite known bisexual disaster, Hans Christian Andersen, The Teapot.

Abby's waggling her eyebrows at me I'm trying very hard to get her to spill it with her face tell me all your secrets yesterday we were out of the house running some errands and our dog got sad and lonely as he does and so he ate both of the insoles in steven's shoes as one does naturally yeah steven regaled me with the story of how 20 minutes ago he pooped them both out one right after the other still perfectly whole because he had swallowed them like a snake. I am impressed on one hand.

You should be. That's pretty impressive. Good for him. I'm happy. They made it through his intestinal tract with no trouble welcome to being a dog owner oh my god i have stopped worrying so much when he eats things i panicked about it a lot when he first came home and would just eat random things and he has a very strong stomach so good for obi dogs eat eat everything. Everything. Except those baked

cakes from the frog. Yes, except those. Not even the dogs will touch those. But everything else is delicious. The insoles of Stephen's sneakers. He'll eat them because he gets lonely. I mean, I eat when I'm lonely, so I get it. Yeah, I know. It's just other stuff. And we give him snacks before we leave. We leave him one of those no-hide bones. It doesn't matter if we're not hungry. We're nervous eaters. Emotional eaters.

We left him like a full giant Kong stuffed with kibble and peanut butter and one of those not no hide rawhide bones for him to eat he ate both of those and then proceeded to devour the insoles of steven's sneakers at least it wasn't furniture i guess yeah absolutely i guess that's less difficult to replace yeah 100 it's it's fine then like the whole half of your couch or your wall yeah yeah yeah yeah dogs eating through walls always tried before i have i have uh some spots on my stairwell and on the the lintel to the entrance to the dining room of places where he has just chewed on the wall oh obi he hasn't done that in a while that was that was when he was in major puppy phase yeah he'd do that when we were home it wasn't even that we he it wasn't even that he was lonely

it was that we weren't playing with him actively in that moment yeah like oh you're not gonna pay attention to me i'm gonna eat this wall we just hear the telltale scrape, scrape, scrape of his teeth, like. Yeah. Anyway, he's a great dog. I really love him. Good. Yeah.

He's a good boy. I can't wait to meet him. Meet him. I'll show you the places he's tried to eat through the wall. Yeah, I haven't seen your new place either.

Traveling is back on, baby. Yeah, it is. Woo! I am fully vaccinated now and ready to explore the world and although i will be really excited when i don't have to wear a mask on a plane which i'm assuming will be like years from now yeah i i don't know i just have to get over it but i don't know if i'm ever not wearing a mask on a plane ever again just for like your own yes that's safety that's just for me yeah i uh i've gotten i've gotten sick too often

yeah i don't mind the masks i actually really love like people not being able to recognize me when i'm out and about especially especially if you mask sunglasses. I could just pretend like I didn't recognize you behind your mask and you can do the same. Just being on a plane, the idea of having to wear it on a hot plane for eight hours sounds a little. A little rough. A little rough. I could do it. I will. But you know. Absolutely. There's definitely benefits to it. I really have enjoyed not feeling pressure to have a pleasant facial expression. I still I'm that person that smiles behind my mask.

Oh, really? In the eyes. Like you can tell people's facial expressions, I feel like. But no one talks to you about it as much. I don't feel the pressure to smile at strangers. I feel like I can have my my neutral expression neutral expression and not feel like I'm being rude. I don't find it like pressure. I just like smiling at people.

I just like having a friendly disdain in general. Even though I'm usually not thinking friendly things. No, I'm just kidding. I am. Sometimes, I guess. I guess it depends on who it is. You do tend to be friendly to strangers in public. You smile and wave and say hello to people a lot.

Yeah. I've got resting nice face. Yeah, you do. Where people want to come up to me and tell me their life story. And I'm like, well, I don't care at all. I have had a little bit of vodka today, so I'm feeling very extra friendly. That's a whole different thing. I'm so much more friendly and nice when I've had a drink. I made myself a Bloody Mary because that sounded really good. And I'm realizing that's a terrible podcasting drink because it's very spicy. Oh, yeah.

I, yep. Well, you made your choice. You made your choice. It's fine. It's so good. And hitting me in just the right way. So. I've never been a big Bloody Mary fan, but I'm happy for you.

I love them so much. What have you got there? I've got a beer. so much. What have you got there? I've got a beer. It's a good old-fashioned Sierra Nevada pale ale is what I've got right here in this here pint glass. It's also hitting me pretty good in exactly the way I like. I feel relaxed, ready to talk about some fairy tale stuff today. I know. I'm so excited. Abby actually told me what she picked, and I haven't told her what I picked. It's a reversal. A beautiful role reversal.

I'm so excited. I actually haven't read Abby's story, even though I think I probably should have. I think it's pretty popular. It's one that I remember really loving as a child. Okay. But it's also not one of the most popular ones that I've seen. So I think it's a name that most people will recognize but may not have read, which I think is exciting. I'm like, oh, I've always heard that. I've heard that story referenced before. And now I get to know

what the story is. So I got to think about my predictions a little bit beforehand. Yes, which and I have no idea what Kelsey is reading to me. You know, something I did want to bring up, though, because this this episode is releasing in June, which is Pride Month. And I feel like I missed a huge opportunity to tell a Hans Christian Andersen story. Should have done that. Well, that's OK, because I did. Yes! OK.

Someone, someone thought to tell an HCA. You know, I was thinking about what story I was going to do next. And I was like, you know, it's been a while since we've heard from our favorite known bisexual disaster, Hans Christian Anderson.

And I feel bad calling him a disaster. But after reading another story of his, I feel like it's just so accurate. It's a bisexual disaster. It's fine. I love him so much. I just want the best for him. I'm so happy he did so well and is well known and remembered because he deserves it. He does. His stories, his stories are always interesting. And it's actually kind of somewhat

of a common, of a common like Twitter joke. A lot of bisexuals refer to themselves as a disaster. Oh, okay. It's a pretty common joke. That's good's good yeah because he is such a disaster because he's a mess i adore him as many bisexuals are which i don't think i've ever actually said it on the i don't think i've ever actually said this on the podcast over but i i am bisexual that is why it is okay that i am making this joke some bisexuals might disagree with me and that is also their right yell at me about it aren't we all sort of disasters in our own way though and if you say you're not you're a fucking liar like every single human being is a walking mess

yeah we say that with a lot of love about hans Andersen. So much love, so much affection, so much understanding. Nothing but love for him. Absolutely. HCA. Yeah, it's been a while since we've done an HCA story. So good. Okay. Well, I'm glad I'm glad you thought of it in time. I think we're going to be talking about more specific pride stuff coming up in our next episode this month. Yeah, we have something really fun planned. Yeah, we have something really fun planned for our June 22nd episode. So, you know, stay tuned for that for kind of a more I suppose lengthy discussion about fairy and folk tales

and how they relate to queerness in general. But I did just want to let everybody know, tis pride this month. So, you know, get out there. Be proud. Be proud. Do or be proud of other people. Yeah. Do a little research about what this month means, the history of this month, why we needed a pride movement in the first place, why we owe Black trans women everything.

And think about donating to a couple of organizations that support them. We can pop a couple of those organizations in our show notes and next month. You know we'll be donating to them. Absolutely. And we'll be talking about a couple of other podcasts, artists, people that you can follow that speak on this movement and have interesting things to say about it. I do have a podcast recommendation right now for Pride Month. And I know it is a group of LGBTQ people that I absolutely love. And it's a pretty new podcast. I'm not sure if you've heard of it, Abby. It's called Far Beyond the Stars.

Oh, right. I've heard of that show. I hear it's great. I have been. Abby is actually the galactic mistress of Far Beyond the Stars. It is a fantastic girls production podcast. It's actually the first TTRPG podcast that I've ever listened to. I've never played any TTRPG games.

As of this recording, that will change this weekend. That's true. But I am enjoying it so much. I don't think you have to know how the game is played to enjoy it. It's basically, okay, so what it reminds me of is a gayer futurama

and i mean that in the absolute best way that delights me in all possible ways it's it's it reminds me so much of futurama because it is about a like crew of you know blue collar people not people not i guess there's they're people you know they're just not human people yeah yeah exactly there's a there's a sapient crystal and an android and a four-armed uh well starship granny uh-huh i guess dustin's playing a human i was gonna say i think friday's the only dustin plays a character called friday i think he's the only human character and also our token uh white straight guy that's a space cowboy so he's playing a space cowboy but it's still pretty gay it's still

pretty futurama ish which i love futurama that's like my favorite show i'm re-watching it right now which i re-watch it oh my gosh way too much you guys have no idea like it's terrible i have a problem it's my comfort food show if i just need something in the background i'll turn it on and then it makes me belly laugh so much that i just want to keep watching it. Although there are a lot of like, it's funny because you know, when you watch a show that was, I think this came out when I was in sixth grade. So it's an old show. Like it started a long time ago. So there's a lot of problematic themes that like I'm starting to notice, but I feel like they did better in the later seasons which makes me happy

and as with all things fairy tales tv shows movies anything we're all still learning and there's gonna be problems right problems that we can fix yeah exactly uh nothing Nothing is perfect. All media should be enjoyed with a critical eye. Yeah. But anyway, that's why I'm enjoying Carpe on the Stars so much because it has that same kind of feel. I think it's a little bit more dramatic so far. I mean, there's not that many episodes out, but it's really fun. All the characters are hilarious and adorable.

And I just, yeah. So that's the podcast I'm going to plug. Thank you. I legitimately thought you were going to plug someone else's podcast, which is fine. Like that's partially like what we should be doing more of is plugging more like own voices podcasts. But thank you for plugging mine. It is fabulous. It is very queer and it is very space opera.

And it's really fun. I love that you're actually enjoying it because you don't you're not like a TTRPG person, which means that the show actually appeals to people that don't play these games, which is great. Yeah, which is something I never would have really given a try without, you know, a little push, because I have friends and I just love all the people who are in the podcast. So I just love the entire cast. They're so much fun. I've been having so much fun being part of the Fantastic Worlds crew and getting to know people. As guys know we do like our twitch games together and they're just

awesome so yeah if even if you don't play ttrpg uh give it a listen see if you like it it's fun i adore you you are my favorite you're the best person in all the land. Oh, my goodness. Ever. I adore you, you galactic mistress. I am the galactic mistress. Or game master. That's not as dominant as you guys suppose it sounds. It's not nearly as sexy. That's why I wanted to go by galactic mistress instead.

The only other, like, kind of two things that I want to plug before we move into our other story. I, too, am a disaster bisexual. And I did not prep for any of this. And it didn't occur to me that it's like, oh, yeah, this episode is coming out in June. I should try to find something queer until, oh, this morning. And so I tried looking up queer fairy tales on Google and it came up with pretty much nothing for a variety of reasons. on this podcast that are sort of older that come from a more oral tradition. They're out there, but they're much less likely to have been compiled and actually written down. Or so used, you know,

a metaphor. Exactly. Or they used a metaphor or, or, or like that, like, sure, this is,

this is queer, but the queer person is the villain with the deviant behavior. So I've got other things that I want to plug that I want to recommend to anybody listening who's interested in queer reinterpretations, queer retellings of stories. One of them is I'm trying to get my hands on a book called The Dog and the Sailor, which is an actual fairy tale that has kind of disappeared from our cultural zeitgeist, but has recently been retranslated and reprinted. So I'm trying to get my hands on that so I can retell it on the show at some point as soon as I get it. But also there's a book called The Mary Spinster, which I highly recommend, which is... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes. And they changed their name. Danny Ortberg. But I think the book is still printed under Mallory Ortberg. So the book is essentially a trans retelling of a bunch of classic fairy

tales like The Six Swans, Snow White, Cinderella, I think. I'll post a photo of it to our Instagram. It is so good. The stories are told in such a different, unexpected way. Dark and twisted. And oh, they're so fun. A lot of the stuff that you still really enjoy about a fairy tale, but really twisted up gender is really played with a lot and a lot of the core themes of it that I think is really exciting. So that's a book I recommend. There's also a YA novel that has been on my TBR forever that I hear nothing but good things about. So I want to plug that one is too. It's called Cinderella is Dead. And it's a dystopian young adult novel. But the premise is that all of the young ladies in the

kingdom have to attend a ball to get married off to various suitors. Cinderella in this book is a black lesbian teenager who has to go to the ball and wiggle her way out of this nightmare scenario. I'm planning on reading that. We can maybe do a book club or something on it in our Discord if anybody wants to read that with me. I would love to read that. For sure. That sounds amazing. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. But right now, it is time. Yay. I'm so excited. For me to read you East of the Sun, West of the Moon.

I'm so stoked. That's the name of the book. It's the name of the book. And I haven't read that fairy tale yet. Yeah, this is a story that is from our Asbjørnsen and Moe Norwegian fairy tales collection. And it is the title of the collection, East of the Sun, West of the Moon. Also, based on the cover of the book, I'm going to be really upset if there's not a giant in the story. I'm not making that part of my prediction., I'm going to be really upset if there's not a giant in the story. I'm not making that part of my prediction, but I'm going to be really upset if there's not a giant in the story. Trying to keep my face neutral.

I feel like that would be kind of cheating, but I don't know. They do that sometimes. People will publish books and the cover has nothing to do with the story it's referencing i know if there's a giant in this story or not but i'm trying to poker face it out remain neutral i'm remaining neutral but yeah this story is one that i have seen referenced various places many people i found have heard the title before but they don't necessarily know the story yo give me three predictions for what you think happens in east of the sun west of the moon have heard the title before, but they don't necessarily know the story. Yo. Give me three predictions for what you think happens in East of the Sun, West of the Moon. Okay.

I'm probably going to get this wrong. It's really funny because it'd be so easy to cheat at this. It would be because you have this book. But I'm above that. Are you? I am because I'm not that far behind you. We recently tallied up the points and I'm pretty sure you're at nine and I'm at seven. More like I'm only a little bit behind. So you could catch up.

This could be your chance. Not that that would make me cheat and read the story. I am going to predict for this story. And this is actually, this is totally something that I feel like I remember hearing about East of the sun based on like a reference about that story is that there is an important animal in the story. Okay. I'm not going to guess that it's a bear, but I feel like it was a bear, but I'm just going to say an animal, an important animal,

an important animal. Is that okay? That's fine. I'll take it. I want there to be a wizard. You predict that there will be a wizard or a sorcerer. I also am going to predict that there is a long journey for the protagonist. Okay. I will take

that. Okay. There is an important animal, possibly a bear. There is a important animal, possibly a bear. There is a wizard or a sorcerer or a male practitioner of magic of some sort. Correct. And there is a long journey for the protagonist. Correct. Excellent.

Maybe I should have just said helpful old man. You specifically said a practitioner, you said a wizard or a sorcerer. You know who I was thinking? I want the dragon from the Ivanverse to be in this. I wish. That is who I am thinking of when I think of wizard or sorcerer, i.e. just really a helpful man who's probably a wizard. You said wizard. I did. Well, I'll stick with it. Is very similar to Psyche and Eros, which is a Greek myth.

Again, that wouldn't have helped me at all. I don't. I only remember the super, super common Greek myths. Sadly, I really like them. They are full of drama. And Psyche and Eros is a it's very similar to the first half of the story. So I'm excited to to read this to you. It's got a lot of very similar vibes. I've also been refreshing a lot of my memory on Greek mythology lately, because I've become very enamored of this web comic called Lore Olympus, which is sort of modern retelling of Hades and Persephone, but they're all still gods. I've seen that one. Yeah.

I've read a couple of them. I just forgot about it, so I haven't kept on reading it. Oh, you should. It's delightful. Okay. Are you ready to hear East of the Sun, West of the Moon? I'm ready. Great. Settle in. It's a long one. Once upon a time, there was a poor husbandman who had so many children that he hadn't much of either food or clothing to give them. Pretty children they all were, but the prettiest was the youngest daughter, who was so lovely, there was no end to

her loveliness. Oh, I know. They're all equally beautiful. All children are. Well, that's not true. So one day, on a Thursday, during the fall of the year, the weather was so wild and rough outside and it was so cruelly dark and rain fell and wind blew till the walls of the cottage shook. And the family all sits around the fire busy with their various tasks. And just then, all at once, something gave three taps on the window pane. Was it a bear? I don't know. I mean, I do know, but you're about to know.

The father goes out to see what's the matter, and when he gets out of his house, what should he see but a great big white bear? Yes! Point for Kelsey! Sorry. I remembered

somebody referencing bears at one point in fairy tales, and I'm pretty sure that one came up, so I feel like I really probably shouldn't get that point, but I'm going to take it! No, you know what? You do what you gotta do. I think that's the only way either of us get points, is if we vaguely remember having heard something about this.

So like a great big white bear. Yep. The farmer goes outside and sees a great big white bear. Good evening to you, says the white bear. The same to you, says the man. Will you give me your youngest daughter? If you will, I'll make you as rich as you are now poor said the bear deal deal is what the farmer says pretty much uh well the man would not be at all sorry to be so rich but still he thought he must have a bit of a talk with his daughter first, I guess.

I guess. I mean, and honestly, in terms of fairy tale parenthood, that's actually not so bad. Yeah, that's pretty great. That's pretty great. Most other fairy tale parents, I feel, would have walked in there and said like, hey, you're marrying the bear outside. Bye. Bye. I feel like it's fair to assume at this point that the bear is actually a prince of some kind under a spell you uh might be right you might be right so i feel like if you're a fairy tale parent he probably knows this so if it's a talking enchanted animal that wants

to marry one of your children odds are there's probably just a cursed prince under there probably go on anyway so he goes inside and he tells all of his children how there's a great white bear waiting outside who had given his word to make them so rich if only he could have the youngest daughter so also way to like put pressure on her in front of all of her siblings yeah geez all of her siblings. Yeah. Geez. All of your problems will be solved.

If only your sister wouldn't be such a selfish bitch and would marry this bear. Times is hard. Times is hard. The lassie said no outright. Nothing could get her to say anything else. So the man went out and settled it with the white bear that he should come again next Thursday and ask again. In the intervening week, he talks his daughter over. He keeps telling her of all of the riches they would get and how well

off she would be herself. Although the bear made no such promises, I don't think, about what her fate would be. He just said that he'd make them rich. I don't think about what her fate would be. He just said that he'd make them rich, but maybe, maybe the bear should try talking to her. How old do you think this girl is? Hmm. She's the youngest daughter of a bunch of children that live at home.

Fairytale world. Let's say 16. I'm going to say 16. Cause like they almost usually, usually that's the age. I feel like we're the weird kids that would have been like, I'm interested. A bear wants to marry me. Let's talk to this bear.

A bear wants to marry me. Why? I've got some questions. Can I talk to the bear first? But no, it's all, it's all brokered. It's all brokered through the father.

So I think you can guess like what my fix for this story is. Yeah. Is a, well, maybe she should talk to the bear herself. Maybe, maybe the bear should be courting her directly. Negotiate, negotiate,

you know, directly with this person, but whatever, it's fine. So he talks her over. He tells her how well off she's going to be and how rich the rest of them are going to get. And so at last she says, yeah, okay, I'll marry the bear. And she washes and mends her clothes, makes herself as presentable as possible, and is ready to start off.

And the narrator says here, I can't say her packing gave her much trouble because she doesn't have much she doesn't have anything yeah she's poor yeah so next thursday came the white bear to fetch her and she got up on his back with her bundle and off they went so when they had gone on a bit of the way the white bear says are you afraid and she says no and he says well mind and hold tight by my shaggy coat and then there really is nothing to fear so they ride a long long way till they come to a great steep hill there on the face of it the white bear gave a knock and a door opened and they came into a castle where there were many rooms all lit up rooms gleaming with silver and gold and there too was a table ready laid and it was all as grand as grand could be yep that bear's a prince he's a prince for sure he's a prince bear definitely a

prince bear uh this this story is also often compared to Beauty and the Beast. It's also giving me Devil in the Green Coat vibes. The one where he can't bathe himself for like seven years. But basically, royal people in disguise marry someone really beautiful. That's a lot of stories. You know, my fix is why didn't the bear want the smartest daughter like maybe the prettiest one is the smartest one that's true they're not mutually exclusive it's always the prettiest well i know and clearly the bear doesn't care either way

she could be what about the funniest prettiest one anyway they all should have gone out into the snow and displayed their talents a la the elf one. Anyway. They all should have gone out into the snow and displayed their talents, a la the elf mound. Why didn't he just want to marry all of them? I just have so many questions and we're not that far into the story. We are.

We are one page down. That's because these stories are so good. There's just so much it's rich to take in i feel like every paragraph every sentence is like worthy of dissection worthy of a conversation so the the castle is super great and the white bear gives the girl a silver bell and when she wants anything she has only to ring it and she'll get it at once sounds pretty good so after she had eaten and drank and evening wore on, she got sleepy and

thought she would like to go to bed. So she rang the bell. She had scarce taken hold of it before she came into a chamber where there was a bed made as fair and white as any would wish to sleep in with silken pillows and curtains and gold fringe. And all that was in the room was made of gold and silver. That sounds amazing. It does, right? Like I would like to live here too, please. She gets into bed, she puts out the light. And no sooner had she done so than a man comes in and lays himself alongside her. This is, of course, the white bear who threw off his beast shape at night. But she never saw him for he always came

after she had put out the light and before the day dawned he was up and off again interesting super interesting you think he'd be flaunting that a little bit more to be like i'm a human no i guess he just kind of tells her like hey don't worry about the strange man lying down next to you it's it's just me, your husband. Again, I feel like this bear just has issues communicating with the person he wants to marry and then does marry.

She's pretty easygoing though. She's rolling with these punches. She's getting a pretty sweet deal out of not asking too many questions about it. Yeah. At the moment. So things go on happily for a while but at last she began to get a little sad because she's just there in that palace all day all alone and she really wants to

go home and see her father and mother and brothers and sisters so one day when the white bear asks what is it that she lacked she said that it was so dull and lonely there and she longed to go home and see her family and she that's why she's so sad yeah she makes sense that would be very sad very lonely be really hard even if you have everything you want like if you're close with your family if i had a bear husband i would make him let me ride him around all the time there you go like i mean exactly so that's another question of do you not hang out with the white bear yeah like when he's not bothering to get to know each other during the day like you're not talking what what

else are you doing is he just out fishing all day i have have no idea. That would get lonely. It would. So many questions. So the bear says, perhaps there's a cure for all this, but you must promise me one thing. What do you think he's going to make her promise? Don't go here. Yeah.

I don't know. It is tangentially related, but no, the thing that he makes her promise is not to talk alone with her mother. Oh, that's no good. That's not gonna fly. That's like abusive partner 101. No. That's the biggest of red flags. Don't let your mother get you alone because she's definitely going to have questions for you about your safety and your well-being that's going to make you question a few things. Oh man. Going on around here.

So best, best not to let your mom ask you too many questions. Also, I assumed her mother was dead. The fact that I know they hadn't mentioned her at all. And the father was just like, Hey, marry this bear.

Like he didn't discuss that with his wife first. Nope. Not, not in fairytale Norway. Really? I mean, Kelsey, who a young woman marries, it's really the decision of her father and her father alone. Fair point. What was I thinking? What were you thinking? That's not going to let the women decide. I just want to know

why the bear and her aren't getting to know each other and he only needs her at nighttime so no i hate it so far the story is a zero there's a lot of problems with this story for sure anyway he makes her promise not to talk to her mom and she says yeah okay uh-huh so one sunday the white bear came and said now they could go off and see her father and mother well off they started she's sitting on his back and they went for a long time at last they came to a grand house and there her brothers and sisters were running out of the doors at play and everything was so pretty. It was a joy to see.

This is where your father and mother live now, said the white bear. But don't forget what I told you, else you'll make us both unlucky. No, of course, I won't forget. And when they reached the house, the white bear turned right about and left. Doesn't want to get to know his in-laws, but whatever. This bear is fired. This bear is fired from being this girl's husband. Fired.

Fired. Bad job. It's no good. No good at all. Now I'm getting blue beard vibes. No, I mean. He's sus. This polar bear is sus.

First of all, polar bear in Norway. Second of all. Second of all. else so we everything else about him so she goes inside to see her parents and there was such joy there was no end to it none of them thought they could thank her enough for all she had done for them so i'm glad her family is properly grateful yeah me too they had everything they wished as good as good could be and they and they all wanted to know how she got on where she lived and she said that it was very good to live where she did she had everything she wanted this is the narrator again what she said beside i don't know but i don't think any of them had the right end of the stick or they got much out of her.

That's a cute way to put it. I think so. It's a very cute way of saying she was super vague about the details of her dating life. I mean, also, another fix. If this bird just lives in this big castle alone, why couldn't the whole family come? And then she would be happy all the time, not just some of the time. Again, you ask a great question. It seems like such an easy answer.

Maybe her family can just live there. But wait, there's more. Okay. I hope so. So in the afternoon, after they had eaten dinner, all happened as the white bear had said. Her mother wanted to talk with her alone in her bedroom. Obviously, she wants to check in on, so what's the real story how you actually doing are there any concerns you want to talk to your mom about tell the fireplace instead of me yeah tell the fireplace instead of me yeah yeah she and the old king from um the goose girl have a lot in common don't worry you're not telling me we're not alone but the girl minded what the white bear had said

and wouldn't go upstairs with her mother oh what we have to talk about we'll keep she said and put her mother off but somehow or other her mother got round her at last and she had to tell her the whole story so she said how every night when she had gone to bed a man came and laid down beside her as soon as she had put out the light and how she never saw him because he was always up and away before the morning dawned and how she went about woeful and sorrowing for she thought she should so like to see him and how all day long she walked about there alone and how dull and dreary and lonesome she was and her mother obviously has some concerns

my it may well be a troll you slept with but now I'll teach you a lesson how to get eyes on him. I'll give you a bit of candle, which you can carry home on your bosom. Just light that while he's asleep, but take care not to drop the tallow on him. Fuck yeah. We got this fairytale mom club going on. I like it that we're finding,

we're slowly finding the stories where the mother is good. One of these mothers is in a bonus episode. I can't remember which one it is. It was one of the Russian ones that I told. So there's another good mom who helps her daughter. Yeah. And it's fairy tale mom of the year. A supernatural beau.

There are a few of them. Mm hmm. Yeah, there are a few. Not all. Not all mothers are dead or wicked. Mm hmm. Most of them are. But you can find a few that are good parents.

Anyway, I love this. I love this good fairytale mom club. Mm hmm. Going on. mom club going on so she teaches so she tells her daughter like a strategy to figure out who her nighttime lover is and when it's time to go home she takes the candle she hides it in her bosom and the white bear comes and fetches her away and when they've gone a little while, the white bear asks if all hadn't happened, as he'd said. And she says, well, I can't say it didn't happen exactly as you said. Lawyered.

Lawyered. Now mind, said he, if you have listened to your mother's advice, you have brought bad luck on us both. And then all that has passed between us will be as nothing what has passed between you just money i assume they bang in the dark when he lies down beside her yeah but who cares like maybe it's really good i don't feel like she's got that much to lose but then then again, obviously, we're not getting the entire story here. Yeah, we're not getting the whole story. I mean, also, like, what she has to lose is maybe he'll take her family's mansion away. They'll all go back to being poor and stuff.

Like, I just know for myself, if it were, like, having my sister or being rich, I'd rather just have my sister with me because I love her. I'd rather be poor and have her be safe. Fair enough. Yeah, absolutely. Which I think most families, except for fairytale families. Not fairytale families. That's fair. But anyway, she seems to think that there is something to lose here.

Because I guess the sex is that good. And so she says, no, of course I didn't listen to my mom's advice. And so they go home and it's the same old story. There comes a man in the night, lays down beside her. And then in the dead of night, when she heard heard that he slept she got up and struck a light lit the candle and let the light shine on him and so she saw that he was the loveliest prince

one had ever set eyes on and she fell so deep in love with him on the spot that she thought she couldn't live if she didn't give him a kiss there and then I know. She's making some mistakes.

Is that gonna... Yeah, okay. And so she did. But as she kissed him, she dropped three hot drops of tallow on his shirt and he woke up. What have you done? He cried.

Now you have made us both unlucky for had you held out only this one year, I would have been freed. For I have a stepmother who has bewitched me so that i am a white bear by day and a man by night but now all ties are snapped between us now i must set off from you to her she lives in a castle which stands east of the sun and west of the moon and there too is a princess with a nose three l's long and she is the wife i must have now god damn it maybe

you know now i have to marry somebody ugly yeah no i know this guy is shallow as hell he sucks also she's shallow as hell the fact that she she's so unhappy. And then as soon as she sees that he's beautiful, now she's into it. She's like, oh, OK. Yeah. Anyway, now he has to go marry an ugly girl, which sucks. Poor prince. Poor prince.

She wept and took it ill, but there was no help for it. Go, he must. And she asked if she can go with him and he says no. And she says, okay, tell me how to get there then and I'll search you out. That surely I can do. And he says, yeah, yeah, you could probably do that. But honestly, honestly, babe, there's no way to that place. It's a glass mountain. It's east of the sun and west of the moon, and you'll never find your way there. Unless an old man helps you out. Unless an old man helps you out.

So next morning when she woke up, both Prince and Castle were gone. And she lay on a little green patch in the midst of a gloomy thick wood. And by her side lay the same bundle of rags she had brought with her from her old home. So when she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and wept until she was tired, she set out on her way and walked many, many days till she came to a lofty crag. Under it sat an old hag and who was playing with a golden apple that she was tossing about. And here the lassie asked if she knew the way to the prince

who lived with his stepmother in the castle that lay east of the sun and west of the moon and who was to marry the princess with a nose three L's long. sun and west of the moon and who was to marry the princess with a nose three l's long how did you come to know about him asked the old hag unless you are the lassie who ought to have had him the lassie replies yeah yep you got me that was that. That was super supposed to be me, but I made some mistakes. So, so, it's you, is it? Well, all I know about him is that he lives in the castle that lies east of the sun and west of the moon, and thither you'll come, late or never. But still, you may

have the loan of my horse, and on him you can ride to my next neighbor maybe she'll be able to tell you and when you get there just give the horse a switch under the left ear and beg him to be off home you can also have this gold apple i love this old woman she's a pretty great she's pretty fantastic also i love that horse smart yeah smart horse you know really good really good with commands very the frog vibes on the opposite end of the spectrum like roles are switched it very much is it very it like this story really like reminds me of the frog in the sense that it was a a woman who married a a man who can turn into a different animal. And she didn't burn his bear skin, but she wasn't supposed to look upon his human face.

So now he has to go live with an old hag who lives at the end of the world. And then she has to go on a journey to get him back. And this old lady is like helping her out. The opposite of our dragon old man boss friend yeah exactly but that but you know that old man is in the Ivan expanded universe maybe he's also that old woman could be could be I mean I I think I think that uh there's a different category of like lady protagonists who have an old hag help them i love it me too okay so the lassie gets up on the horse and rides a long long time till she

comes to another crag under which sat another old hag with a gold carding comb and her the lassie asked if she knew the way to the castle that lay east of the sun and west of the moon and she answered like the first old hag that she knew nothing about it except that it was east of the sun and west of the moon and thither you'll come late or never but you shall have the loan of my horse to my next neighbor maybe she'll tell you about it when you get there just switch the horse under the left ear and beg him to be off home and the hag gives the girl the golden carding comb it might be that she'd find some use for it she said so the lassie gets up on the next horse and rides it far far away and for a weary long time and at last she comes to another great

crag under which sits another old hag spinning with a golden spinning wheel. And the same procedure follows. She asks if she knows the way to the castle that lies east of the sun and west of the moon. And the old hag asks her, maybe it's you who ought to have had the prince. She says, yes, it was supposed to be me, but I'm an idiot. Well, I'm not an idiot. I listened to my mother who had very very good advice i'm giving this girl too hard a time yeah i think she she made the right call yeah i think i think trying

to see his face was the right call i'm being i'm being too hard on her but she she says that yes that's me but this old hag too didn't know the way any better than the others she just knows it's east of the sun and west of the moon and thither you'll come later never but I'll lend you my horse and I think you best ride to the east wind and ask him. Maybe he knows those parts and can blow you thither but when you get to him you'll need only to give the horse a switch under the left ear and he'll trot on home himself. The old lady gives the lassie her golden spinning wheel in hopes that she'll also find some use for it. Oh, all these old ladies are

just like so helpful and kind. Yeah, it's a chain of old hags who were just giving her horses and useful magic items and going good best of luck, kiddo. Do you think they're brushing your hair too? I'm sure they are. They must be. That's what old hags sitting under a crag live for. That's what I want to be when I grow up. Or when I get old. I want to be a helpful old hag that helps somebody on their way for their fairy tale. You know, the Seven Falls is also from this book. So maybe one of these ladies is the same old hag that was carving

that was combing yeah maybe they're not helpful to some people but they're helpful to others i think foolish young men they they specifically try to throw off i just love the idea of putting all these tales together that's me too why i love the 10th kingdom i mean that's so obvious like everybody kind of play like has multiple iterations and various uh various stories it's and basically this whole book is an anthology a lot of the same people so she gets the golden spinning wheel and a fresh horse and she rides for many days before she gets to the east wind's house but at last she does reach it and she asks the east wind if he can tell her the way to the prince, who dwelt east of the sun and west of the moon. And yes, the east wind had often heard tell of it, the prince and the castle, but he couldn't tell the way, for he had never blown so far.

But if you will, I'll go with you to my brother, the west wind. Maybe he knows, for he's much stronger. So if you will just get on my back, I'll carry you thither. So she gets on the back of the East Wind, and they went briskly along to the home of the West Wind. And the East Wind said the lassie he had brought was the one who ought to have had the prince who lived in the castle east of the sun and west of the moon. And so he had set out to seek him. And he came with her to ask the West Wind if he knew how to get to the castle. Nay, said the West Wind. So far I've never blown. But if you will, I'll go with you to our brother, the South Wind, for he's much stronger than either of us. And he has flapped his wings far and wide.

Maybe he'll tell you. You get on my back, and I'll carry you to him. And so she gets on his back, and they travel to the home of the South Wind. And when they got there, the West Wind asks the South Wind if he could tell her the way to the castle that lay east of the sun and west of the moon. For it was she who ought to have had the prince who lived there.

You don't say so. That's she, is it? said the south wind. Well, I've blustered about in most places in my time, but so far I never blew there. But if you will, I'll take you to my brother, the north wind. He is the oldest and strongest of the whole lot of us, and if he doesn't know where it is, you'll never find anyone in the world who could tell you. You get on my back and I'll carry you there. I feel like this would just make a great like series. Yeah, it really was really going on an adventure,

like just a grand adventure. You absolutely get that second point because yes, she goes on a long journey over hill and dale to various crags with hags sitting under them. And then she visits each of the winds all trying to essentially get to the end of the world. It is really beautiful. I love it.

It's easily my favorite part of this story. And this is why I liked it so much as a kid is that she travels so far and sees so many wondrous things and is carried on the back of all of the winds. And I just, I don't know. I just thought that was super cool. At this point, the fix for me is just more making their love story more enjoyable or like believable. Yeah. making me care about her finding him yeah would be good because i love this journey that she's going on she's traveling

so far and doing everything she can but it would be so much more meaningful if it wasn't based purely off of oh she saw him that one night and was like, oh, he's pretty. Anyway, yeah, if there was a dramatization of this. Can't have been. Can't have been. As you mentioned. It can't have been this good that you would undertake this journey. It would make an amazing series.

Yeah. With like maybe like one or two episodes at the start to kind of establish their romance a little more. Yeah. And then I'm imagining on her journey, she's meeting other fairy tale characters within the book where the stories, she's just kind of a side character. Yeah.

Like this would be a really fun framework for like an anthology series. Yeah. Just like a mini series. That's like three seasons long. Or perhaps I could write, I could write an adventure based off of it and we could play it. Oh my goodness. Sometime.

Sometime. That's an interesting concept. I could do that. So the South Wind takes her to the home of North Wind. And when they get there, he's so wild and cross, cold pops come from him for a long way off. Blast you both. What do you want? He roars out to them, even so far off that it struck them with an icy shiver.

Well, said the South wind, you needn't be so foul mouthed for here. I am your brother, the South wind. And here is the lassie who ought to have had the prince who dwells in the castle that lies east of the sun and west of the moon. And now she wants to ask you if you ever were there and can tell her the way for,

she would be so glad to find him again. Yes, I know well enough where it is, says the North Wind. Once in my life, I blew an aspen leaf thither, but I was so tired I couldn't blow a puff forever so many days after. But if you really wish to go thither and aren't afraid to come along with me, I'll take you on my back and see if I can blow you there. I love the North. Right. Just so like curmudgeon. Like because he's the oldest one, you know, he's like he's like an old man.

Wind. I have to. But also like you. I kind of have the feeling that like this wind wanted this to happen. He's like, oh, good. People are here. But, oh, I guess if I have to. If I have to.

If you need me this much. He's, like, pretending to hate having guests. Yes, with all her heart, she must and would get thither if it was possible in any way. And as for fear, however madly he went, she wouldn't be afraid at all. Very well, then, said the north wind. But you must sleep here tonight, for we must have the whole day before us if we're to get there at all so she spends the night in the home of a north wind and early in the morning he wakes her puffs himself up and blows himself out makes himself so stout and big twas gruesome to look at him and so off they went high

up through the air as if they would never stop till they got to the world's end. And down below them was such a storm. It threw down long tracks of wood and many houses. And when it swept over the great sea, ships foundered by the hundreds. Wow. Hell yeah. Epic. Epic journey.

It's an epic journey. So they tore on and on no one can believe how far they went and all the while they still went over the sea and the north wind got more and more weary and so out of breath he could scarce bring out a puff and his wings drooped and dropped till at last he sunk so low that the crest of the waves dashed over his heels are you afraid said the north wind no she says but they weren't very far from land and the north wind had so much strength left in him that he managed to throw her up on the shore under the windows of the castle which lay east of the sun and west of the moon but then he was so weak and worn out he had to stay there and rest many days before he could get home again.

But they made it. She's there. Yes. Amazing. Yeah. I know. Isn't it the best journey? Barely.

Just. But it's the best journey to actually get there. So the next morning, the lassie sat down under the castle window and began to play with the golden apple. And the first person she saw was the long-nosed wench who was to have the prince. Ruh-roh.

What do you want for your gold apple, lassie? Says the long nose, throwing up her window. Yeah, I like how she doesn't have any questions. I mean, maybe she's really nice i'm just saying like she might be super nice and like she's probably not but characterizing her just long nose seems um mean to me very rude it's just rude i mean lots of people have long perfectly attractive people of long noses what do you want for your apple? It's not for sale for gold or money, said the lassie.

If it's not for sale for gold or money, what is it that you'll sell it for? You may name your own price, says the princess. Well, if I may get to the prince who lives here and be with him tonight, you shall have it, said the lassie whom the north wind had brought. And the princess says, yeah, okay. Fine with me. Yeah, I don't give a shit. He's kind of a snot, actually. I don't like him very much. He's really shallow. Yeah, he's man. He's really shallow. I'm not a not a huge fan. I'm really smart and funny and beautiful. And beautiful. I'm not his type. With a great nose. He's kind of a dick. Yeah.

He just has really rude stuff about my nose all the time. And, you know, you can have him. So the princess gets the golden apple. But when the lassie comes up to the prince's bedroom, he's already fast asleep. She calls him and shakes him. And between whiles, she weeps. But all she can do can't wake him up. Sounds familiar. There's some skullduggery going on here. Did the princess also drug her?

Don't drug your partner. So maybe she sucks too. Just don't drug your partner. That's – so maybe she sucks too. Just don't drug your partners. Instead of just calling her by her long nose, like, can you just call her, like, the mean one or, like – Yeah, the cruel, the pert hussy. The pert – that makes me like her though. I know. But this – like, if the first half of the story – the first half of the story is major Eros and Psyche vibes.

But the second half of the story is giving me very Iron Stove vibes because she has to make a long journey. And then she bumps into his, to like the prince's fiance who drugs him at night. So she can't talk to him. Beyonce who drugs him at night. So she can't talk to him. I just think if I were retelling this to my niece, it would be the mean one. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Ugly princess, the long nose. Like that's just, I think that's a, that's a great fix for telling the story to children of like, you shouldn't really like, that's a really mean thing to say.

And you don't want to be mean because she's mean the rude princess i kind of get why she's mean because you know also her betrothed is the worst he's kind of the worst everybody's behaving badly again a common trope a common trope in fairy tales. She can't wake him up. And the next morning, as soon as the day breaks, comes the princess with the long nose who drives her out of the bedroom. So in the daytime, she sits down under the castle window and begins to card with her golden carding comb. And the same thing happens. The princess asks what she wants for it.

She says it wasn't for sale for gold, but she might get leave to go up to the prince and be with him that night. And the princess can have the comb. The princess says, sure, you know, absolutely. Good deal. But the same thing happens again. The lassie gets up to the bedroom. She finds him fast asleep again. She calls, she shakes, she weeps. She prays. She can't get life into him. And as soon as the first great peep of dawn comes, the princess comes back in and chases her out.

So on the third day, the lassie sat down under the castle window and began to spin with her golden spinning wheel. And that, too, the princess with the long nose had to have. So she throws open the window, asks what she wants for it. The lassie said, as she had said twice before, that it wasn't for sale for gold or money,

but if she might go up to the prince who was there and be with him alone that night, the princess might have it. Yes, she might do that and welcome. But now you must know that there were some Christian folk who had been carried off thither. And they had sat in their room, which was next to the prince. Yes, I know. It's a random interjection into the story, to be sure. And it's not even just, oh, there were some, you know, captured folk or servants in the palace or whatever. It's that they're Christian folk. It's important for you to know that these are Christian folk who have been stolen and persecuted.

Okay. Yeah. Anyway. Go on. Anyway, so they had been in their room, which was next to the prince's room, and they had heard a woman had been in there and wept and prayed and called to him two nights running. And they told that to the prince. So that evening, when the princess came in with her sleepy drink, the prince made as if he drank, but he threw it over his shoulder so that when the lassie came in, she found the prince wide awake.

And then she told him the whole story of how she had come thither. Yay. I guess. I guess. Ah, said the prince, you've come just in the very nick of time for tomorrow is to be our wedding day. But now I won't have the princess and you are the only woman in the world who can set me free I'll say I want to see what my wife is fit for and beg her to wash the shirt which has the three spots of tallow on it to my laundry woman still like you still haven't taken care of that it's been probably a long time yeah it's been a long time she'll say yes for she doesn't know tis you who put them there but that's a work only for christian folk and not for such a pack of trolls and so i'll say that i won't have any

other for my bride than the woman who can wash them out and ask you to do it from my bride than the woman who can wash them out and ask you to do it all right okay okay so there was great joy and love between them all that night but next day when the wedding was to be the prince said first of all i'd like to see what my bride is fit for yes said said the stepmother that sounds appropriate well said the prince i've got a fine shirt which i'd like for my wedding shirt but somehow or other it's got three spots of tallow on it weird weird it's been there for like years but years at this point uh but i like this shirt a lot so i must have them washed out and i've sworn to never take any other bride than the woman who's able to do that if she can't do my laundry she's not worth having

as we know trolls can't wash clothes they just can't it's physically impossible for them well that was no great thing they said so they agreed and the princess began to wash away as hard as she could but the more she rubbed and scrubbed the bigger the spots grew ah said the old hag her mother you can't wash let me try but she hadn't long taken the shirt in hand before it got worse than ever and with all her rubbing and wringing and scrubbing the spots grew bigger and blacker and darker and uglier oh no well then all of the other trolls in the castle should give it a try but the longer it lasted the blacker and uglier the shirt grew till at last it was all over as if it had been up the chimney ah said the prince you're none of you worth a straw you can't

do laundry why there outside sits a beggar lassie i'll be bound she knows how to wash better than the whole out of you come in lassie he shouts and in she comes and he says can you wash this shirt lassie i don't know she says but i think so and almost before she had taken it and dipped it in the water it was as white as driven snow yes you're the lassie for me said the prince that, the old hag flew into such a rage, she burst on the spot, and the princess with the long nose after her, and the whole pack of trolls after her, and I've never heard a word about them since, says the narrator. As for the prince and princess, they set free all the poor Christian folk who had been carried off and shut up there. Yay! Yay! free all the poor Christian folk who had been carried off and shut up there. Yay. Yay. And they took with them all the silver and gold and flitted away as far as they could

from the castle that lay east of the sun and west of the moon. The end. Wow. Wow. I know. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I want more about what happened to her family yes also i just i just don't care about the prince at all

me neither the thing with this story and and my ultimate i, fix for it is it has an incredibly meh beginning, an incredible middle. Yes. And a terrible ending. My biggest fix for it, aside from just making me believe their love story more, which it's not – it's a tale so i there i get that it's kind of shallow and there really isn't a lot there there's there's not traditionally supposed to be my biggest gripe with this story is that it comes down to who can do his laundry that's oh i hate that a lot That's, oh, I hate that a lot. Yeah, I hate that a lot.

That's why the ending of the iron stove is superior. Because this story is half, it's the second half of the iron stove. Yeah, that whole ending. And also, I need you to know more about his stepmom and why they made him a polar bear in the first place. Yeah. Because apparently he was cursed but he was supposed to marry so why would his stepmother curse him and not just make him marry the person he didn't want to marry like there's just so much that yeah doesn't make any sense no there's so much that doesn't make sense. I'm not really sure what to make of the Christian folk who got kidnapped.

This is one of the reasons why I kind of, I wish it had been common practice to write these stories down before so much of the entire world had been converted to Christianity. Because I feel like a lot of these stories had had different meanings and different implications and and used different conventions beforehand really interesting interjection of that story I I think so too I also I I also like I'm not I'm not sure about this but something about calling the princess long nose and that's the that's her defining ugly trait feels very anti-semitic to me someone email us and tell us the literary analysis so we don't have to look it up you can email us at info at very deluxe spot.com i tried to google it a little bit, but I didn't really find anything specific to this story.

Anyway, so that is East of the Sun, West of the Moon. I loved part of it. I love that middle section where she's on her journey. Mm-hmm. And that's the best part. That's the only part of the story I remembered before I reread it for today. I remember I had an illustrated version of it when I was a kid. I don't know what happened to it. But the only parts of it that I remembered

was the journey. I misremembered it too. I thought that it was about a little girl who's on this incredible journey to save her brother from a witch. So I might have blended it with a different story in my memory. That sounds like the Snow Queen from Hans Christian Andersen. I might have mashed it together with the Snow Queen. Yeah. But because I definitely remembered elements of this story of talking to all of the old hags, getting all of these items and then riding the north wind to the castle yeah that's really cool it was really cool and i remembered all of those details

but i totally forgot the beginning and i forgot the end of this story and i'm and for good reason because it's the beginning is very like and the ending is very i'll marry the woman who can do my laundry the best. And I'm stuck on it and I hate it. I mean, they came up with that plan specifically. So it wasn't like a real laundry contest. I also hated the part with the dad and then he's just like, do you want to marry this bear so we're not poor anymore? No, no. Are you sure? Here's what you should. I'm going to ask you in front of all of your siblings and your ailing mother. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. I'm glad that you know this story now. It's such a mixed bag.

I'm glad too. There's so many good things about it, but so many things that would definitely be a great fix. For sure. Yeah. I would love to watch a mini series of this where they expand more on a lot of the other elements of it. Yeah. Like I said, I feel like it should just be like a girl on an adventure to save someone. And she goes on adventures throughout. She's a side character in all these other fairy tales.

That would be so cool. Yeah. That'd be so much fun. It's for a niche market. Not so niche. And that market is us. And that market is us. And that market is us. Alright, you gonna tell

me a tale? I am. Are you ready for some Hans Christian Andersen? I am. I am very ready for some Hans Christian Andersen. Lay it on me. Which story are you telling me? I am telling you The Teapot. The Teapot. It is from 1863 and that's all i'm gonna give you

it was a one-page story okay but i saw we'll give you i'll just give you three predictions just go for it okay uh you you got two predictions right by the way from my story. Good job. Prediction number one, because this is a Hans Christian Anderson story, this story is going to be another thinly veiled metaphor for his fraught love life. That is a very good prediction. Never mind. This prediction isn't fair because this is literally all Hans Christian Andersen stories. I was going to say it's going to be existentially horrifying in some way.

But that's literally all of his stories. Every single one. So far, yeah. Okay, so I need to settle on a specific type of existential drama. What do you think is like the teapot? Well, I think the teapot talks for one thing because it's – that just sounds right because – and I'm basing it entirely off of the snowman and the fir tree at this point. Not that it talks or is it just anthropomorphized? Trying to give me hints right now no i'm just saying i want you to be specific it's an anthropomorphic teapot and it ends up smashed at the end nice because as i said it's a metaphor for his fraught love life

those are your three predictions i'm going to now tell you the teapot. There once was a proud teapot, proud of being made of porcelain, proud of its long spout and its broad handle. It had something in front of it and behind it. The spout was in its front and the handle behind. And that was what it talked about. But it didn't mention its lid for the lid was cracked and it was riveted and full of defects. And we don't talk about our defects. Oh, it's already really, it's a fraught metaphor for something. I don't know if it's his love life. It might just be him. It's already sad. It's already super sad. So we don't talk about our defects. In fact, the whole tea service thought much more about the defects in the lid and talked more about it than the In fact, the whole tea service thought much more about the defects in

the lid and talked more about it than the sound handle and the distinguished spout. And the teapot knew this. Oh, the other kids are so mean. I think this is an autobiography. I don't know if it's about his love life, but it's definitely an autobiography. It's definitely that he knows many people found him obnoxious and talked a lot of shit about him behind his back. This is really such a good story. I know them, the teapot told itself. And I also know my imperfections. And I realize in that very knowledge is my humility and my modesty. We all have many defects, but then we also have virtues. The cups have a handle.

The sugar bowl has a lid. But of course, I have both. And one thing more, one thing that they can never have. I have a spout. Yeah, you do. And that makes me queen of the tea table. Yes. Yes, this teapot.

I love it. This energy she's giving. She is the queen. About supremacy. No. So the sugar bowl and the cream picture are permitted to be serving maids of delicacies. But I am the one who gives forth. I am the advisor.

This is still the teapot speaking, by the way. Okay. I spread blessings abroad among thirsty mankind. Inside of me, the Chinese leaves give flavor to boiling, tasteless water. Mm-hmm. And this was the way the teapot talked in its fresh, young life. So now the teapot is just Lizzo for me. Hell yeah. Giving off that goddess energy, just like I am amazing.

I have imperfections, but they're still good. Yep. The teapot is out here singing juice. Ah, yes. That's exactly how I'm imagining this teapot. So the teapot stood on the table that was prepared for tea, and it was lifted up by the most delicate hand. But that most delicate hand was very awkward. The teapot was dropped, the spout broke off, and the handle broke off.

And the lid is not worth talking about. Enough has been said about that. Point for Abby. Yeah! Smash it! I mean, don't. I'm sad about it but i feel bad for the the queen of the tea set yeah i think she's pretty sad about it too so the teapot lay in a faint on the floor while the boiling water ran out of her it was a great shock it got but the worst thing of all was that the others laughed at it and not at the awkward hand oh no so this

makes me feel a little bit like it could be some kind of metaphor for like abusive parents or growing up poor like Hans Christian Andersen did maybe so like people are making fun of the child and not you know the abusive parents that made the child that way or like growing up poor, you know? Yeah. I'll never be able to forget that, said the teapot, when later on it talked to itself about its past life. They called me invalid and stood me in a corner and the next day gave me to a woman who was begging for food i fell into poverty and was speechless both outside and inside but as i stood there my better life began one is one thing and then becomes quite another they put earth in me and for a teapot that's the same as being buried

but in that earth they planted a flower bulb who put it there and who gave it to me? I don't know. But it was planted there, a substitution for the Chinese leaves in boiling water, the broken handle and spout. And the bulb lay in the earth inside of me and became my heart, my living heart, a thing I never had before. There was life in me. There was power and might. My pulse beat. The bulb put out sprouts.

Thoughts and feelings sprang up and burst forth into flower. I saw it. I bore it. And I forgot myself in its beauty. It is a blessing to forget oneself in others. That's beautiful. It's really beautiful. And the rest is pretty much like from the teapot's point of view about the flower.

It didn't thank me. It didn't even think of me. Everybody admired it and praised it. It made me very happy. How much more happy it must have made it. One day I heard them say it deserved a better pot. They broke me in two. That really hurt.

And the flower was put into a better pot and they threw me out into the yard where i lie as an old pots herd but i have my memory and that i can never lose the end it's so hans christian anderson right yeah um it's so hans christian anderson in the sense that sense that I'm kind of sitting here like in a strange like wallowing of how you know change and old age comes to us all and we just need to accept it it's tragically beautiful as most HCA stories are as they tend to be most HCA stories are as they tend to be tragically beautiful and very sad. And I'm, I'm being flung into like a crisis of self for having heard it. Existential crisis. When you said that, that was most of the stories. I'm like, yeah, yeah. Yep. I really liked that. I thought it was so wonderful.

And I love that the teapot knows that it has defects. And it's like, that's okay, because I've got virtues. I've got things that other people don't or other, you know. I've got a uniqueness. Glassware doesn't. The perseverance of spirit, you know, even though everybody else makes fun of the teapot. I don't know the metaphor so much for the flower growing. For Hans Christian Andersen, I'm assuming that's more like people like his writing, but that might just be me projecting

my idea. I also thought it kind of sounded like when people have children. That was what I was going to say is it sounds like, especially talking about how it becomes her heart. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So children or – because it also – it's a very – the three stages of human life, youth, adulthood, and old age. All of his stories are always so beautiful. We love Hans Christian Andersen. I would give you two points for that because I don't think that was a metaphor for his love life.

I think it was just for his life in general. You're generous to give me the point because I did specifically say his love life. No, no, no. That was the point you didn't get. You got the other two where the teapot was anthropomorphized. And it got smashed. It got smashed. Okay. Yes. Those are the two points I get. Yes. It was not his love life. And I don't have any fixes for it. I think HCA just has such like a beautiful look on life and it's very existential and just kind of nice. I don't, I can't think of anything I would change about the story. Not about, not about that story. It's a really sweet meditation on accepting yourself, accepting life's ups and downs,

accepting change when it comes, accepting, accepting being something else. Finding beauty in every stage of your life. Yeah. Which does happen. Talking about your virtues and not your defects. Yeah. I love this virtues and not your defects. Yeah. I love this teapot's energy. Just like, yeah, I know I have a messed up lid, but I've got this and I've got this.

You don't even have a spout, so. So I'm the queen of this tea service. So good. I do like that. I like that a lot. And trying not to let it get to you when other people point out your defect. Good story. I like that. That was very beautiful.

I know, wasn't it good? It's very beautiful. That gives you a lot more to think about than east of the sun, west of the moon. I don't know. It gives me a lot of different things to think about, definitely. So that's going to do it for us today today thank you so much for listening to fairy tale fix if you enjoy the show please subscribe and leave us a review on apple or stitcher or anywhere they will allow you to leave a review it really helps people find us if you want to

support us in other ways you can get extra episodes merch books other bonus content at our patreon by signing up at fairyytalefix.cash for about what you'd pay for a latte a month. And you can find us on Twitter and Instagram at fairytalefixpod. And as always, please email us your favorite fairy tales, folklore, nursery rhymes, whatever else comes to mind at info at fairytalefixpod.com. at info at fairytalefixpod.com. And so a lot of different things happened that inspired the Lassie's journey to find the prince who lived at the palace

east of the sun and west of the moon, much larger incentives to actually inspire her to go on that journey. And at the end, she and the prince devised some other method of making it so he didn't have to marry the troll. And the teapot doesn't really have a fix. I just hope everyone who hears that story

takes the idea to focus on your virtues and not your defects. And know that you are the queen of the tea service. Yes! And they all lived happily ever after. The end.