Fairy Tale Fix - 2: Fix the Fairy Tale Education System

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

Kelsey covers the classic Hans Christian Andersen tale The Wild Swans, and how some kingdoms really need to focus on their education systems and vampire infestations rather than kidnapping poor mute maidens. Abbie tells a tale of Toads and Diamonds...and...how exactly does this gift/curse work??

Why shouldn't you celebrate yourself? Self-love. Exactly. so we've started again episode two we have started how are you abby i am angry i've been i've been such an angry person like all day i have been perrumphing like an old man about literally every single thing that's happened to me today so i'm trying to set that negative energy aside because i have been an old bastard you know sometimes you just have those days so it's okay we all deserve those days i like you know i like that idea like it was an indulgent day i really indulged in my crankiness today i let nothing stop me from letting the whole world know just how upsetting and uncomfortable and inconvenient I find it. Are you drinking anything today? Yes, I'm drinking so much today. Thank you for asking.

What are you drinking today, Abby? We bought a giant bottle of Woodbridge Cabernet Sauvignon. The Cabernet Sauvignon sure yes that one excellent good job that one the red one i was mispronouncing it so that you would have a chance to practice thank you you are i need lots of chances to practice my wine bridles uh yeah so we bought that to marinate some steak and i thought it was a damn shame to let the rest of the bottle go to waste so i have been working on it steadily over the past few days i am down to my last two glasses and it's really been a comfort to me during this day where i've been super cranky you know i wasn't going to open i I have a bottle of Pinot Noir, bread and butter Pinot Noir.

It's delicious. I wasn't going to open it because I drink an entire bottle of champagne. Yeah, you did. French 75s by myself last night. But I'm not too hungover. Champagne doesn't give me that bad of a hangover. So I decided just to go for it. And it's your birthday.

So you get to do whatever you want. Birthday wine is a thing. It is. As are birthday French 75s on your birthday eve. Yeah. For me, I celebrate like the entire month. Exactly. Like my birthday is a national holiday or something.

Uh-huh. Oh, goodness. It's Kelsey season. Are you going to do anything fun after we record? No, I'm just, it's chill today.

Just having a chill day. Yeah, yesterday playing games with you guys and having brunch with my family was kind of my celebration. It's like a COVID celebration

so it's not like I can really go out and do anything which is fine. Yeah. I think once you celebrate your 30th birthday the next one that you got to go big for covid celebration so it's not like i can really go out and do anything which is fine yeah i think once you uh celebrate your 30th birthday the next one that you gotta go big for is like 40 so it's every 10 years after your 30th is when you get to make a big deal about it i love people who love

their birthday when people are like mopey around their birthday oh i don't care about my birthday but they do they just have too high of expectations of other people to make it good for them. My birthday motto is, you know, make it good for me. I'm going to remind everyone in my life, tell people exactly what I want. Yeah. Make it happen. That's all completely fair. And I'm never disappointed.

Because you planned it. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm never disappointed. Because you planned it. Yeah. Yeah. No, I also find people who pretend not to like who they want to have their cake and eat it too.

As far as their personal vanity. They don't want to be seen as someone who's super vain or really into themselves. And so they say, oh, I don't care about my birthday. But they actually care a lot. And they get very disappointed if their birthday doesn't go the way they want what was your favorite fairy tale movie as a child which is the one which what just what stands out in your memory as the one that really grabbed you am i allowed to say the 10th kingdom does that count i'll allow it okay so we actually mentioned the 10th kingdom in our last episode so that is an epic mini series

and i usually just go to it as like that's my favorite movie just of all time it's i think about eight hours long but it's so good it's like a bunch of fractured it's not fractured fairy tales but it's kind of like if fairy tales were their history, which I love that. Yeah, it's a hodgepodge of a bunch of different fairy tales that all interact with each other and they all inhabit this dimension that exists, I guess, side by side with our own, but where fairy tale stuff is all history.

So, you know, like Snow White was a very famous queen that lived hundreds and hundreds of years ago in this fairy tale kingdom. And the idea is that probably not just the Brothers Grimm, but that the Brothers Grimm ended up in that dimension and brought those stories, that history back to our dimension. Yeah. Which, I mean, they're so good. It's my absolute favorite. That's an excellent choice. Yeah. It's my absolute favorite. That's an excellent choice.

Yeah. It's very for kids it's really hokey and like a little over the top the acting is so over the top but it's also

that's what gives it its charm. Yeah. It's extremely cheesy. Yeah. But I love it. Other than that I really loved Red Riding Hood.

That was like my first favorite fairy tale of all time. Just the story because I don't think there was ever like a good other than that i really loved red riding hood that was like my first favorite fairy tale of all time just the story because i don't think there was ever like a good not a good there's like there's a there's that one with amanda seyfried oh no did you ever see that one yes we watched it together remember we did yeah that's right why would you say no to your dad and not become a wolf that's so cool spoiler alert for red riding hood or whatever they ended up calling that terrible movie but uh her her dad was a werewolf and it was badass and he's like you should come be a werewolf me and she was she said no like a crazy woman yeah again

villain sympathizers or yeah yes yeah we've got to we've got to have like a detailed psychological uh going into that at some point in the future but that was a great fairy tale the great aunt had a cool doll on one side it was the grandma and if you flipped her dress over on the other side it turned into red riding hood and then she also had like the wolf and if you turned it over it became the axe man so it was kind of cool that is so cool yeah. Yeah, I wish I had it. That's like one of the one things I wish I had from her. Abby, what was your favorite childhood fairy tale movie? I have so many answers.

There are so many fairy tale movies. It's such a loaded question. It's such a loaded question. It would have to be split in between The Swanan princess because it had a great villain the best villain uh no more mr nice guy is the best song that's ever been done for a children's movie that is my hot take and we have to have okay so eventually we're you're gonna have to tell the story of this one princess yes and we have to have a very lengthy discussion about how fucking hot Rutherford, right?

Rutherford. Rothbard. I'm always like, why didn't she just marry him? I would have. And then I remember. I mean, oh yeah,

he killed her dad. Oh yeah. I always forget about that small detail. That just little, that just tiny detail. He killed dad other than that uh marriage material if he just had played it cool and just not killed her dad yeah some if some super hot daddy was like stashed daddy hey i want to i want to get with you and i can turn you into fucking animals i've got magic i want to be turned into a swan if i want where do i sign that kind of goes into my story a little bit today it does but hang on we're not quite segwaying yet

yes so it's split between that and and my favorite childhood fairy tale mashup into the woods which i'm also i am also cheating because it is the it is a film that was recording the original broadway cast doing into the woods not the not the movie with meryl streep that was okay i'm talking about the actual play was so good i still listen to the soundtrack all the time and that's that's much more adult but i highly recommend it if you can find the broadway cast recording it's so funny and so sad and so sweet and all of the fairy tales kind of come together and intermingle in each other's lives in a very fun way i think they do rapunzel cinderella in each other's lives in a very fun way. I think they do Rapunzel, Cinderella,

Jack and the Beanstalk. They make up a couple. Red Riding Hood is in it. Yeah. In fact, Abby and her sister, it means so much to both of them. They have tattoos. Yes, yes. We love it so much that we each have a because we the princes, Cinderella's prince and Rapunzel's prince both both have a song they have a song together because they're brothers in the play and they have a song together and so i have a slipper that represents cinderella's prince because that was the part of the song that i would always sing and then maddie has a ear of corn that represents rapunzel's prince because he compares rapunzel's hair to an ear of corn during his part of the song. It's such a funny song. It's called Agony. If you watch the if you watch the theatrical movie that they shot, I think it's like Chris Pine, and some other equally hot dude that I forget who should have been Neil Patrick Harris and should have been Neil Patrick Harris, but it

wasn't and it was a crime. But they're like flinging themselves sexily all over this waterfall singing about their two princesses that they want to marry. It's great. Anyway, it's a riot. It's so good. It anyway it's a riot it's so good it's it's a riot and it's amazing yeah so those those are the those are the the movies that really stuck with me that i still think about and sometimes we watch all the time so swans i chose my story this week based on the fact that it's by Hans Christian Andersen. So I am very Danish. My family's Danish. My grandma and great aunt were 100% Danish. And one of the greatest fairy tale writers of our time, Hans Christian Andersen.

I have the Complete Works translation by Jean Hirscholt from from canterbury classics uh published in 2014 this story i got my mpr my mpr voice doing that i don't know why very nice very nice but i chose the wild swans and it was written in 1838 and it is just a wild ride. It is so perfect and so beautiful. And the way Hans Christian Andersen writes the descriptions of everything in this book is just beautiful. So if you can read this fairy tale, there are a few different versions I've seen like online. They're usually, they just shorten some things. But I'm going to tell the complete story today. But I'm going to tell the complete story today. And I know Abby knows this one.

So since Abby actually knows this fairy tale pretty well, I'm going to have her predict. Yes. I'm going to have her, instead of predicting the fairy tale itself, I'm going to have her predict what I would fix about it. Because I know she hasn't read it for a while, so she doesn't have all the details. So I want you to predict how I would fix this almost perfect fairy tale i actually had a hard time coming up with some fixes yeah it's a pretty it's so good it's a pretty good one yeah okay so from what i remember about this story it involves a couple of moments that are extremely troublesome, I think, for a modern audience. There's definitely a part where she's not allowed to talk and she just has to endure whatever is going to happen to her. I'm trying to speak vaguely just in case there are some people who don't know the story.

who don't know the story my prediction is that your fix will be her being able to write a note or something so she's not allowed to speak like oh shit maybe she can't read i would like to fix the education system oh shit i mean honestly that could also be a fix that you would in this land in this kingdom i'm gonna fix this educational system well now i'm just coming up with more fixes but she's going okay here's my prediction i predict that she is going to the end that your fix will be her finding some way to assert herself is that too vague no okay and then that she will finish the sleeve on the last shirt no sorry i'm already telling you you're wrong it's not helpful that's what makes it better for me all right well i'm just gonna go ahead and start just tell me just tell

me the story just tell me the story so again this is the wild swans written in 1838 by hans christian anderson far far away where the swallows fly when we have winter there lived a king there lived a king who had 11 sons and one daughter named elisa which imagine having 12 kids i'm already overwhelmed that's way too if you're a king uh okay you know you've got you've got nursemaids, you've got nannies, you've got governesses, you've got tutors. You're not raising these kids is my point. Yeah. You're the king. And she has a name. This is already starting really well.

She's actually the only one who has a name. That's exciting. I think in the version of the story that I've read before, she does not have a name. So I love it. And it's a beautiful name. Elisa. Love it. Well, as these stories go, their mother and the queen dies when they're young.

So the king remarries a wicked queen. And at the wedding, instead of his 12 children getting all the cakes and baked apples they could eat, their stepmother gave them some sand in a teacup and were told to make believe this is a special treat oh my god yeah rude what so because their stepmother obviously isn't a kid person if i may be so wait wait how old so if elisa the youngest yes how old is she you know i'm gonna say she's probably let's say like 11 or 12 at this point okay all right so elisa is sent away to live she's got 11 siblings yes 11 older brothers she's got 11 siblings. Yes. 11 older brothers. She's 11 older brothers.

11 older brothers. No, but also. Okay. So let's see. Let's say their mother popped out like one every 18 months or so. Yeah. Her oldest brother is in his 20s somewhere. Yep.

If we're going by Elise's like 11 or 12 at this point. Yeah. And he just let his stepmother feed him a teacup full of sand. I guess. This is the future King we're talking about. Probably. Yeah. Yeah.

It's super weird. Goddamn. All right, keep going. And this, the King that marries her, their, their father obviously isn't great because he's like,

I said, he's not raising these kids. He lets all this. Okay. Thank you. That's a good reminder. I'm just coming up with more fixes as we talk about it he doesn't sound like he's a very engaged dad um so uh because the stepmother obviously isn't a kid person uh elisa is sent away to live with

peasants while her brothers ended up with a different fate fly away like big birds without a voice says the queen while she meant to do more harm they turned into beautiful eloquent white swans and they fly out of the palace and into the woods huh so elisa lives in the woods with peasants and she doesn't have anything to play with other than this leaf and she would look through the hole in the leaf and she finds the sun and the warm rays remind her of her brothers and all of their kisses so she has just she loves her brothers it's really sweet she constantly thinks about them and how much she misses them and it's just a really beautiful story about siblings and that strange but like really

special closeness you can feel with a sibling especially when you have 11 brothers i mean that's so many siblings so elisa is to return home when she turns 15 reminds me a lot of like sleeping beauty yeah yeah definitely beauty elements in there so it's a few years later when she turns 15. And once she returns, the evil stepmother discovers how beautiful this little princess has become. And she plays with the idea of turning her into a wild swan like her brothers. So maybe she did that with the brothers because they were older. Oh, yeah. Okay, sure.

Sure, sure, sure. Something more of a threat to her, more of an active threat. But the king wants to see his daughter so she doesn't turn her into a wild swan. Instead of turning her into a swan, the queen tries to curse Elisa with three toads that she kisses and bids them to make her torpid,

ugly, and tormented. But young Elisa is too young and too innocent for this kind of evil magic and it doesn't work. This infuriates the queen. And she rubs Elisa with walnut stain and smears her face with a vile ointment and tangles her hair so her father doesn't recognize her.

Aww. So mean. I mean, evil stepmother. I mean, Elisa's not trying to kill her. I could think of worse stepmother. That's no way. That's a pretty low bar. It's very mean.

This is very cruel stuff. Yeah. And she's jealous of a little 15-year-old girl. Yeah. What the hell is wrong with this woman? Gross. So, Lisa is distraught, and she runs far, far into the woods and laments for her brothers. She realizes they, too, have been driven out of the kingdom by their wicked stepmother, So Elisa is distraught and she runs far, far into the woods and laments for her brothers.

She realizes they too have been driven out of the kingdom by their wicked stepmother. And she awakens the next morning in this beautiful forest where she finds a spring and bathes and is transformed again into her beautiful self. So she wanders through the forest for days and comes upon an old woman. She asks the old woman if she has seen her brothers and the old woman replies that she has not but she did see 11 swans wearing gold crowns bathing in a nearby river so elisa follows her direction until she comes upon the sea how does that work they're wearing crowns the swans yeah Swans with tiny crowns. I would also be looking for those swans because that sounds adorable. I don't think Instagram culture had really taken off yet at this point.

I didn't see 11 men, but I did see 11 swans and they were wearing tiny crowns. And somehow I did not try to capture one and take one home as a pet. How cute is that? That sounds pretty cute. Pixar didn't happen, old woman. So Elisa follows her directions to try to find this river and she comes upon the sea. Here, Elisa has a revelation. She sees countless beautiful pebbles in the ocean that have become smooth and soft from the ebb and flow of the waves. Here, she decides she must be like the sea, determined and strong, never unwavering. Yeah, it's a really sweet moment in the book.

I love that. In the tale. So at sunset, Elisa finds 11 white swans with golden crowns flying toward the shore. They swoop down beside her, and as soon as the sun sets beyond the sea, the swans transform golden crowns flying toward the shore. They swoop down beside her and as soon as the sun sets beyond the sea, the swans transform into 11 handsome princes, Elise's brothers. Of course. So although years have gone by and they can hardly recognize each other, they've grown and changed. Yeah, one of them is pushing 30 at this point. They realize who they are and they have a happy and wonderful reunion.

They hug each other and they all say each other's names and it's just a really nice, happy moment. Because they all love each other. Because they're all really close siblings. Yeah. Aww. So they explain to her that while the sun is up, they are cursed and transformed into swans by their wicked stepmother. And as soon as the sun sets, they're transformed back into their human form. So it's dangerous and they must be wary of the sun's placement at all times.

Because if the sun sets while they're still flying, they fall to their death. It's really intense. Wow. You've got to be really good with their timing. Yeah. As soon as the sun's gone, it's like back into human form. Oh. good with their timing yeah as soon as the sun's gone it's like back in uniform they also explain that they're only able to come to their homeland once a year for 11 days the rest of the year they're forced to fly across the sea to a distant land which is beautiful but

it's not their homeland where their father is and where their mother is buried, and where they have found their dear sister again. Aww. So Elisa's brothers tell her that it's two days' journey across the sea where they are outcast for most of the year. There is no island in between when they are forced to turn into their human form again, but there's a small rock in the middle of the ocean that is barely big enough for them to lay on until they can fly again. This sucks! Their brothers must leave their homeland within two days.

So they spend the next two days with Elisa and ask her eventually if she will come with them. And I'm going to read directly from the book. Wait, to the rock? Mm-hmm. Okay, tell me how this happens. So, directly from the book, Tomorrow we must fly away and we dare not return until a whole year has passed.

But we cannot leave you like this. Have you courage enough to come with us? My arm is strong enough to carry you through the forest. So surely the wings of all of us should be strong enough to bear you across the sea. Oh my gosh, I might cry. I know, it's really, really sweet. I'm misting up a little bit, for real. If you cry, I'll die laughing.

I thought I'm going to stop doing it. So Elisa agrees. I mean, also, how does that even work, though? So I'm going to tell you how it works. Okay, tell me. Tell me how it works. So Elisa definitely wants to go with them. She doesn't want to stay where the evil stepmother can find her and probably do worse things to her that's fair and they make a net out of willow bark and brush and the next

morning the swans gather it up with their beaks and they fly elisa across the sea and the youngest brother who she obviously has a very special relationship with has gathered berries and sweet roots for her to eat on the trip over and shields her eyes from the sun as they're flying along and they fly all day for hours until a nightfall slowly creeps up on them so because they're carrying elisa they're flying slower than in previous journeys and this is rapidly falling and the storm is approaching oh my god they can't even see the rock that they're going to to spend the night on in their human form.

So in terror, Elisa watched the sinking sun for the lonely rock was nowhere in sight. It seemed to her that the swans beat their wings in the air more desperately. Alas, it was because of her that they could not fly fast enough. So soon as the sun went down, they would turn into men and all of them would pitch down into the sea and drown.

Okay. Tell me how they make it. So this part of the book gave me like an absolute heart attack. My eyes were wide the whole time. Yeah, I am kind of tense right now. Yeah, it's wild. So Elisa prays to God, all while black clouds are gathering and lightning is striking down around them the sun touches the rim of the sea and the swans start to shoot

downward elisa's heart beats rapidly she sees the rock it's in the middle of the sea it's no larger than the head of a seal jutting out of the water that's a tiny rock how did 11 grown men balance on this rock for like all i i know it's got to be bigger than that i think i think elise is being a little overdramatic yeah no she's definitely being overdramatic she's 15 we have to forgive her being 15 is hard enough being 15 is a very dramatic time. So the sun is sinking, sinking. And as soon as the last ray of light dies out, Elise's foot touches down on solid ground. And there's only enough room for all of them to huddle together for the night. They all hold each other and sing psalms to comfort and give them courage

while the storm around them rages. Wow. Honestly, the visual on that is so cool and the tale the actual tale is just so beautiful um Hans Christian Andersen really like creates a very picturesque scene I mean he just he has a great way with words that just it's really really beautiful yeah his writing is surprisingly gorgeous you know in all of the other versions of this that i've read they skip over this part completely they're just like and then she and her brothers move to a land very very far away anyway yeah no this is my favorite part of this is great yeah i have not heard this part before

i am on tenderhooks okay tell me the rest. So much happens in this tale. It's insane. So at dawn, the air is still and calm, and her brothers waste no time before swooping her up and flying off again across the sea. While they're flying, they pass a beautiful and mysterious land that is half floating in the air with castles and palm trees and brilliant flowers that bloom as big as windmills but they're

big flowers they're beautiful so she asks if that's the land they're going to but her brothers explain that the that is actually the ever-changing palace of fada morgana and no mortal can ever enter oh morgana isn't the witch uh you know fada, so Fada Morgana means mirage. It's a complex form of superior mirage that is seen in a narrow band right above the horizon. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so you can actually Google search like Fada Morgana and it will show you. It looks like things are half out of the water, like a ship that's far away. But this is a palace it's very mysterious

okay that sounds really cool it seems really random but it will come back into play okay all right all right all right i was just about to say like i hope so so they end their journey long before sunset on a mountainside in front of a large cave where lisa is to sleep she wishes she wishes so badly to set her brothers free and she prays all night so earnestly that she is even still praying in her sleep. She dreams of flying over Fata Morgana, and a fairy comes out of the palace to greet her. The fairy resembles the old woman she met in the woods that helped her find her brothers. She tells her that she can set her brothers free, but it will be painful and make her suffer greatly. She can set her brothers free, but it will be painful and make her suffer greatly.

She tells her she must gather stinging nettles from the church graveyard and crush them with her feet, turning them into flax so she can spin and weed them into 11 shirts with long sleeves. Once she places the shirts over her 11 brothers, the spell will be broken and they will remain men. Okay. By the way, I actually didn't know this before i read this nettles i guess are a plant so it's like a common plant in the uk where you know if you touch them it they're really painful yeah yeah that's part of the price of freeing her brothers is is withstanding this this pain um so it's a so the old woman was a fairy well i mean it's a dream but yeah definitely yeah she's definitely a fairy absolutely definitely a fairy also interesting

that she because because hans christian anderson stories are very christian yes in nature so i just find it i mean as they've as they've like has already been demonstrated in this story where they sang each other psalms to comfort them and you know uh so i just find it interesting that a fairy answers her prayers there's a lot more christian elements in this book than i wrote down in my notes personally uh but yeah that is interesting that's a good point just just an interesting note but yeah but continue okay so she has to she has to use stinging nettles to weave a shirt for her brothers yes and now we'll turn them back into men so of course the fairy tells her there's a stipulation

once she begins this task although it will be painful and take years to accomplish she must not speak. For the first word she says will strike like a knife into her brother's hearts and kill them all. Oh, my God. Yeah, she says their lives are at the mercy of your tongue. So and she touches Elisa's hand with a nettle that burns like fire and wakes her up from her dream. But all she can do is thank god and she's off to start her task wow okay as i mean as if having to weave a bunch of shirts out of stinging out of plants

that sting you wasn't bad enough but that's fine yep yeah and she doesn't waste any time she is just grateful that there's something she can do and she gets right to work so she is just the sweetest 15 year old i know absolutely no 15 year olds that nice yeah i know right so at first her brothers are alarmed that elisa is no longer speaking when they see her next and they're worried that the evil stepmother has done something to her has cursed her again but they see her blistered hands and understand that she she's actually laboring to save them so i guess they understand it almost right away and her youngest brother weeps for her and his tears heal her blisters and cures her pain oh they don't so sweet that is so sweet well a little while down the road elisa hears hunting rifles and barking hounds nearby she's frightened so she goes to hide in her

cave and a handsome king and his huntsman find elisa and immediately sees how beautiful she is and of course why not very very handsome kingly of them handsome kings and princes ride by all the time and see cute girls either in huts when they can't talk or in a glass coffin he kidnaps her sure yep that's about right wait so how long has it been you know i'm assuming at this point probably like a few months okay she's been she's been working on the net uh the shirts she's been weaving and she has you know i think she has one or two finished okay so She's been she's been working on the the shirts. She's been weaving and she has, you know, I think she has one or two finished. Okay. So it's been so it's been a few months since she got her vision. Yeah. Okay. And it doesn't really I don't have like a super great timeline on this. But that's my guess. Fairy tales, man. They're super vague. Right? Yeah, the fairy did say it would take years, but she's also finishing it very quickly because she is so motivated. What else does she have to do? And again, it goes back to her revelation.

She needs to be like the sea. Oh, yes. Firm. She's very, very motivated. Yes. Okay, great. So handsome king, he kidnaps her because that's what handsome kings do when they see pretty girls in the woods. Especially ones that can't speak. perfect woman for me so fucked up please continue he promises to dress her in silk and velvet and adorn her

with a gold crown and give her his finest palace to live in she cries and dares not speak as he lifts her up on his horse and promises her someday she will thank him for doing this okay well i changed my mind about what i think your fixes are going to be well the king decides to marry elisa sure because of how beautiful she is but the king's archbishop calls her a witch that blinded them and has stolen the king's heart the king doesn't believe the archbishop and intends to marry her anyway and elisa is just she's terribly sad and nothing the king does to try to make her happy works until because you kidnapped her well he makes her very happy he creates a room that looks like her cave that she lived in and brings all of her work, all of the shirts and all of the nettles

and material that she had used. This makes her so happy that she's overcome with joy. She weeps and her lips are trembling and she's smiling. She's so happy because now her hope has been restored that she can save her brothers. And she's so grateful to the king for this gesture. She kisses his hand and she starts to just become

very fond of him he does his best to please her she becomes so fond of him that she wishes she could confide in him and tell him everything oh okay this is getting better i'm a little less upset me too i wanted to be more upset but i mean at least you know making the best of a bad situation i suppose i i do still incredibly dislike the themes of... Kidnapping a woman because she's pretty. Yeah. And like kind of not really being that bothered that she can't speak to you or communicate in any way. But she's crying a lot.

But you're still going to marry her because she's pretty. Yeah, it cracks me up. There's actually a line that... This mute woman from the woods will become queen and it's like that seems like a good choice but she's so happy about this so she works at night to finish the shirts but she runs out of flax and that's this means she must go to the churchyard to gather more nettles. So during the night, she sneaks into the churchyard and sees a group of vampires. Oh my god, are you fucking kidding me?

That was not in the version I read. I wrote this in my notes. Side note, this is where the story gets me because it's like a totally normal fairy tale and then all of a sudden there's vampires. There's vampires here? Like what? What the damn hell? I'm actually going to read you this paragraph because- fairy tale and then all of a sudden there's a vampire there's vampires here like what what the damn hell i'm actually gonna read you this paragraph because please she saw a group of vampires sitting in a circle on one of the large gravestones like they do exactly the hideous ghouls

took off their ragged clothes as if they were about to bathe. With skinny fingers, they clawed open the new graves. Greedily, they snatched out of the bodies and ate the flesh from them. Elisa had to pass close to them, and they fixed their vile eyes upon her. But she said a prayer and picked up the stinging nettles and carried them back to the palace. And that's it? That's it? That's it? That's all you hear from the vampires? What?

What? Is this like a crossover episode with a different fairy tale where somebody's actually dealing with the vampire problem in this town? Because it's not the sexy vampire problem. It's not the Anne Rice problem it's not it's not the anne rice list dot vampire problem it's ugly nosferatu cool vampire problem who's dealing with this i love how short the paragraph is too it's like oh and there were vampires and that's it what and then she grabs and goes back to the palace and anyway her fiance

is a bad king he is not dealing with the vampire problems in his constituency so close to home how can he be trusted to run an entire country i love that part of the story and it's so random it's a wonderful okay wow i'm happy that you're happy but i am dying continue please it's wonderful thank you hans christian well it's so creepy too like they're eating the flesh from new grapes like what the fuck and it's so random but not necessary isn't that zombies this is also written in 1838, but it's just like... What a great addition to an otherwise completely normal fairy tale. Yeah. I love it.

Awesome. I would change nothing about that. Ignores the vampires, gets her nettles, kind of glares at them. She gives them the hairy eyeball and then goes back to the palace. Yep. And, but, who is waiting at the palace that sees her? The archbishop. The archbishop, correct.

He sees her coming from the churchyard with the nettles. And for him, this confirms his suspicion that at least there's a witch. She's a witch. Burn her. Yep. And that's exactly what he tells the king. And the king doesn't believe the archbishop right away. But he notices that Elisa is sneaking into their room at night, doing things with nettles that are stinging.

And he becomes really suspicious of her and starts to, like, follow her, and he's watching her. And once Elisa runs out of flax again, she has to go back to the churchyard. And this time the archbishop and king follow her, so they see her. So this confirms it for the king, and Elisa is quickly sentenced to die by fire.

What the fuck? Because she's a witch. Because she's a witch. But I also like... Okay, but why isn't he taking care of the vampire problem? I know, but the vampire's not there. Don't you have bigger problems to worry about? Oh, jeez.

Then your wife has like an odd habit that you already knew about because you built her a cave and brought all of her work over maybe you shouldn't you already knew she did this maybe you shouldn't marry random women you find in the woods just because they're cute and they don't talk and they're obviously not that into you i mean she was crying a bunch she was crying so she's taken from her room and thrown into the dank, dark dungeon. And as like a cruel joke, given her nettles to sleep on.

Joke is on them. Joke is on them. Because nothing could make Elisa happier. She works quickly in the basement, weaving shirts as fast as she can in hopes to save her brothers before dying. Okay, how many does she have completed at this point? Nine, ten. Nine, okay. All right, so she's made a lot of progress.

Had like a couple years passed, do you think? See, this is where I just don't know. It doesn't, I mean, it does say like night after night she's working and then she goes to get more nettles. So maybe, maybe it's been like, you know, maybe it's been like like you know maybe it's been like a year maybe she's 16 now sure but i really like this part um so her youngest brother finds her in the dungeon so there's like a a window and she sees a swan and it she it makes her so happy it's just sparks joy for elisa um and convinces her to work even harder to finish the shirts while she's down in the basement because she knows her brothers are near.

So now they know where she is. Yeah. So she'll actually be able to fling the shirts on them. Mm-hmm. And little – I love this. Little mice begin helping Elisa with her task, bringing nettles to her feet. Of course. And a little wood thrush, which is a bird, perches near the dungeon window to sing to her to keep up her courage.

Classic princess. Classic. And also, if you've never heard a wood thrush sing, you should listen to it. Search it because it's a really beautiful sound. Really? Yeah, they've got a great song. It's gorgeous. And they're so cute.

So I love the idea that birds and mice are all helping her. Very Cinderella. It's gorgeous. And they're so cute. So I love the idea that like birds and mice are all helping her. Very Cinderella. It's so cute. So her brothers know where she is now. And this is great news. So an hour before sunrise, Elisa's brothers show up at the palace as princes. And they're demanding to see the king. And they're told that they can't see the king because he's still asleep.

But they make such a fuss and work really hard that they're trying to get the king to come out so they can explain everything that's going on. But lo and behold, just before the king reaches them, the sun rises and the princes were turned back into swans. Damn it. So they did try. Yeah, they tried. They tried to communicate about it. Elisa was destined to be burned at the stake today. And even as the horse pulling the cart is taking her to her death, she's weaving shirts in the cart.

So 10 shirts lay at her feet as she works away on the 11th. Oh, no. I know. The archbishop is watching her do this, and he's claiming sorcery. And she's,'s like saying a prayer but it's a silent prayer so her lips are just moving he's trying working as fast as he can and the archbishop is like this is an incantation she's evil and he's all the townspeople that have come to watch her die the archbishop yells and is telling them to take away her nettles and

to tear her work to pieces but before the townspeople can do that, the white swans swoop in and they form a protective circle around her. Oh my God, thank God. And the townspeople take this as a sign from heaven that she must be innocent. As the executioner seizes Elise's arm, she quickly throws the eleven shirts over the swans, who instantly become handsome princes. the 11 shirts over the swans who instantly become handsome princes except for the youngest brother who still had a swan's wing in place of an arm where a sleeve was missing from his shirt because

elisa had not been able to finish it i love that ending i wouldn't change a thing i think that's so like but he's still got one wing like she tried so hard it just shows how how down to the wire this was yeah it really was shit as soon as she throws all the shirts over her brother she says now i may speak i am innocent and she's so overcome with anguish and pain that she falls into her brother's arms she just passes the fuck out and then do they take her the fuck out of there because fuck all of these people well the brothers explain that she's innocent and tells the townspeople and the king everything of their wicked stepmother that had cursed them the treacherous journey and elisa's determination to save them from this curse oh and all of the wood that was laid where she was to be burned takes root and grows beautiful flowers like beautiful red roses and one pure white flower that the king plucks and puts on Elisa's breast.

She awakens and they head back to the palace for a bridal procession. No king has ever enjoyed before. The end. Wow. Oh, so they weren't even married yet. Nope, I guess not. I guess not. OK i guess not okay wow oh my gosh what a cool that was hair raising it's wild there's so much to that story you totally did that story justice you told it beautifully it's one of my favorites it's so beautiful i almost didn't want to say much because you were so you're doing a your job there's so much to it there's fairies and vampires and swans and yeah vampires for like two seconds

like get on your husband to do his job for one paragraph there's vampires i think that's like the funniest thing i've ever heard oh that's great though but witches and curses and yeah and dedication and loyalty and family and duty and it's just so it's just it just hits all of the right spots it's a wild ride yeah so the so the way that i originally heard this story um i'm i was realizing as you were talking about it there were a lot of gaps in what you were reading me but also my brain had a lot of extra information so but but that's because i think i i read a novelization of this when i was 16 or so i found it at the library i can't remember what it was called it was a novel length version of this story where they go into all of the nitty-gritty details oh i would actually love to read something like that they

remove pretty much all of the magic except for the shirts okay i don't like that so much now what are your affixes i guess it's just weird that he's like wanting to marry her like what if he just got her some help yeah i just took her like and also offered to like oh no grab your things like come with me or i don don't know. He's just. Yeah. A woman, especially a mute woman in the woods. That just. And like making her marry you when she can't really consent to do so.

Also, yeah. As you mentioned before, fix the education system, because obviously if she's a princess, she has to know how to write. Like, why couldn't she have explained things with a piece of paper or something, or maybe interpretive dance. She could have. Yeah. Point at the nettles,

pointed herself, my making the shirts, mine, flinging them over. I mean, also like she could have drawn him a picture. I'm cursed. I don't know how you would do that. I'm, I don't know she could have drawn him a picture. I'm cursed. I don't know how you would do that.

I'm, I don't know. There's got to be a way. There's got to be a way. Like, I mean, that would ruin the conceit of the story, which is she can't communicate. And maybe the curse is that she can't communicate in any way. No, it says like her. About it? It says with her voice.

So she should have been able to draw a picture or write it down or something and like why did it take her why did it take her brother so long to find her also okay so my other fix is why i i want to know i guess it's not so much a fix as it's like the rest of the story i kind of want the new king to take her and her brothers and kick the evil witch's ass she didn't get any kind of like oh yeah no comeuppance she fed them sand at her wedding and then cursed them and then yeah that's the evil queen is still like just probably happy as can be living it up with their deadbeat dad i guess yeah totally deadbeat dad obviously he didn't care that she outcast them and no

and then also like he said like oh I want to see her which is why she didn't get turned into a swan but then he still didn't see her and was apparently fine yeah fuck that guy whatever maybe that's why they didn't even go back they were like you know what why bother you know because that's just the thing

like if you if your family sucks you don't have to talk to them that's just the thing like if you if your family sucks you don't have to talk to them that's true that's true that is the moral of this story that's the moral of the story it is a it is a-okay to only speak to the members of your family who affirm your personhood. No, but I love that her... Or swanhood. I love that one of her brothers still has a swan arm because she couldn't finish it. That is a cool fairytale element of it. And I kind of want to see that. I think there is a movie, but I would like a newer version with cool CGI.

And also, little swans, or I guess swans are actually kind of huge, but swans with fucking little crowns, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard in my life. Swans with little crowns. I know that's so adorable. Who doesn't want to see that? But yeah, 11 brothers. That's so many brothers. That's way too many siblings. Don't get me

wrong. I love my sister so, so much, and she loves me so, so much, but i cannot imagine having 10 more siblings yeah because man like that's a lot that's a lot and that's a good point that they're so much older than her yeah no wonder she's closest with her youngest brother you're having like one kid a year yeah they're all irish twins they were they were prolific but it's it's a very sweet story and there's not a lot about it i would fix honestly because it's really just it's really beautiful definitely just the like maybe she could have found some way to communicate and then also the maybe instead of marrying her the king should have been like damn do you need help yeah wow you seem a little nuts

you're living out uh in the woods all by yourself yeah didn't he have questions like how did you get here he obviously are you okay can i help you where are you going and why are you touching these nettles constantly i mean my only other fix for it would be that the king cleans up his vampire problem yeah he's obviously got an infestation of vampires that are just hanging out by the grave in the churchyard that nobody seems concerned about and it's just so random i love that it's insane the first time I read that, I was just like, what is happening in this story? Literally in my notes, it says, what the damn hell? What the damn hell?

Oh, man. Okay. That was great. Thank you for that. Thank you. That was a fun one. I'm excited for you to tell me a tale. I'm excited to tell you this tale.

It's very short uh it is very silly and i was going to say it is the first actual fairy tale uh on the pod but there was a fairy in yours so never mind yeah thanks oh man just that means i got the first yeah you got the first actual fairy the first fairy and the first one yeah it was a wild one you managed to score both of those that was crazy okay so the one that i am about to read you is called diamonds and toads or it can be called toads and diamonds um it's another french fairy tale i got it out of the same book that i got the blue beard story out of it's the blue fairy book by andrew lang who as i recall was a scotsman who traveled around europe and and learned a bunch of different fairy tales and wrote them down and put them in

various books but the original story was uh by charles perrault and was just called the fairies okay kind of circa the same time as cinderella is what i'm getting give me your predictions what do you think happens in toads and diamonds again it is a french fairy tale kind of told around the same time it's a it's a contemporary of cinderella as far as origin and it. And you know that it was originally called the fairies. So what do you think happens in Toads and Diamonds? Well, I know for a fact that there are fairies in it. I'm not going to give you that one. Okay.

So Toads in fairy tales usually are a cursed kind of thing. Toads in fairy tales usually are a cursed kind of thing. So I am going to guess that the toads referenced in the title are either used to curse someone or they are cursed themselves. Is that fair? Yeah, that's fair. I'll take that one. Okay. I guess that's kind of two in one.

So, I mean, so we could, to make it one, it could say the toads are part of a curse. Yes. Okay, perfect. The toads are part of a curse. I'm going to guess there's a princess. Okay. I'm going to guess. I'm like not looking at you to like look at your face.

Toads are part of a curse. I guess that there's a princess and I guess that the curse will be because of diamonds. Okay, go. Cool. All right. So this is Toads and Diamonds or The Fairies, depending on which version you're reading. So first paragraph. There was once upon a time a widow who had two daughters, the eldest was so much like her in the face and humor,

that whoever looked upon the daughter saw the mother. They were both so disagreeable, and so proud that there was no living with them. But the youngest resembles their father the most. She resembles him in her courtesy and her sweetness of temper and was just one of the most naturally beautiful girls that anyone in their village had ever seen ever. As is the way with fairy tales. This is the only time the father is ever mentioned. I'm not sure if he's alive or dead or just super passive said it was a widow a widow yes sorry then thank you there was yes you said widow the book said widow you remembered you remembered this better than i do yes widow father is dead maybe that's why the widow doesn't like the girl that reminds her

of the father very much but but actually the book gives a different explanation. The book says, as people naturally love their own likeness, this mother even doted on her eldest daughter, and at that same time had a horrible aversion to the youngest. So basically, they treat her a lot like Cinderella, they make her eat in the kitchen and work all the time. She's basically their servant. Rude. Yeah, seriously. And I don't like that's so similar to Cinderella in so many ways she likes the kid that looks like her and hates the pretty one such is life so this kid she's forced to draw water twice a day from the well that's about a mile and a half away from the

house and bring home pictures and pictures full of it this is one of her daily tasks so she has to keep going to this well over and over again to actually get water for the family. And one day as she's at the well, there comes upon her a poor woman who begs to let her have a drink. Do you think this woman is just a regular person, Kelsey? No,

I think it's her grandmother. it's a wolf in disguise run oh my god i wish but no that's not that's not good at all no i think it might it might be a fairy uh fairies like to look like old women and give good advice yeah give good advice play tricks etc fairy godmother maybe we'll see so she begs the young woman who in the original story by the way they're not named in the andrew lang version but in the original story the younger daughter is called rose and the older daughter is called fanny okay i know fanny was a real name at one point but it just oh yeah Oh, yeah. Yeah. There are still people named Fanny. Yeah, but it's just Fanny.

It's funny because it was Rose and Fanny. I wasn't expecting. But they just don't go together at all. It doesn't. I was expecting like Rose and Daisy or Rose and Tulip. That's probably one thing I would change is give Fanny a different name. But anyway, or I mean, but the original story had the names and this story does not, which makes me think that maybe Andrew Lang is just deleting names because maybe Bluebeard's wife did have a name at one point. Anyway, okay, so back to the story, the old woman asks Rose if she can have a drink and naturally Rose is kind hearted, good spirited, beautiful inside and out and naturally says, you know, absolutely. good spirited, beautiful inside and out and naturally says, you know, absolutely. And she takes up some water from the clearest place of the fountain and gives it to the old woman and lets her have as much as she wants. She's super generous with it. And the old woman when

she's finished says to her, you are so very pretty, my dear, So good and so mannerly that I cannot help giving you a gift. I love the voice. Thank you. Because this woman is obviously a fairy who had taken the form of a poor country woman to see how far the civility and good manners of this pretty

girl would go. Because that's what fairies like to do with their time, and I'm not even being sarcastic. I think that's also whatreek gods and goddesses like to do all the time like their their chief job is to go out and disguise among their people and test their manners oh man god i wish i were a fairy no it just seems like such a cool thing anyway so she wants to give rose a gift because rose was so polite to her and gave her as much water as she wanted. But this gift, I will let you decide whether or not this sucks or not. I will give you a gift that at every word you speak, there shall come out of your mouth,

either a flower or a jewel. That doesn't sound like, like, yeah, you got jewels, but then you can't speak without dropping flowers and money out of your mouth. She's like, hey, what's going on? And like, there's all this stuff falling into your mouth.

I mean, that would make you mute. Yeah, that would be a little embarrassing. And also, how would you, like at dinner, you just... Yeah, you just can't speak at mealtimes. And then also, so my question is like physically how does this happen does she have to barf it up every time exactly is she coughing them up or do they

just like but at this does she have to spit them out as she's talking did she argue with the fairy was she like wait no nope wait give me something i mean what do you say to that damn you old woman can't it just be that you just give me a sack of gemstones instead or something anyway um so she goes home after encountering this fairy and her mom yells at her for being at the well so long and the poor girl is apologizing to her because this is just in a class flowers are falling out of her mouth it's a classic abusive situation so she's

apologizing to her and as she's apologizing there comes out of her mouth two roses two pearls and two diamonds and her mother I mean freaks out she just says I think I see pearls and diamonds come out of the girl's mouth. How happens this child?

And apparently this is the first time she's ever used like child in reference to her daughter. I'm guessing that means that like as a term of endearment that she's not just calling her rude names or just calling her girl or whatever. She actually calls her child and it startles rose so much that she actually um answers her very honestly and tells her the entire story and drops out infinite numbers of diamonds as she's telling the story that does not sound naturally in the way of fairy tales where there's a where there's a favored sibling and a sibling who is not so much the widow says, Oh, my God, if the fairy gave this to you, my crap child that I think is so awful. She'll give a much better gift to Fanny. Fanny, you got to go to the well. And if any old women ask you for water, give it to them nicely.

This is a very common theme in fairy tales. Yes, it really is. Very common where they're like, ah, I want to send my ugly kid. No, I'm just kidding. I'm going to send my favorite child. Send my favorite kid. Fanny says it would be a very fine sight indeed to see me go draw water.

She's being all sassy about it. The book even says that she's an ill-bred minx. This book is really mean to Fanny. When, you know what? Fanny is just a product of her upbringing and we should just all be nicer to Fanny. Also Fanny.

But Fanny should be nicer to Rose. Fanny is kind of a bitch and kind of a really fun way later. So her mother says you shall go hussy and this minute so fanny leaves she takes the best silver tankard in the house with her she goes back to the well and as and as she gets to the well she sees coming out of the woods a very fancy lady a noble woman who comes up to her and asks for a drink of water the book immediately tells you this is of course also the fairy but she's taken a different guise to test this person's manners because she yeah kind of kind

of already gets the sense that this person's pretty rude and so she's gonna see just how rude she can be to someone that she's not expecting because you know she's expecting the old woman and fairies are wise yeah so she like oh this isn't the old one yeah exactly fanny is once again referred to as the proud saucy one but i kind of love what she says just just on principle. Am I come hither to serve you with water, pray? I suppose the silver tankard was brought purely for your ladyship, was it? However, you may drink out of it if you have a fancy. I like her too. Me too.

I love Fanny. I think Fanny's the best. I love that Fanny's throwing massive shade here. She's just throwing massive shade at the wrong person. You do not shade fairies. And that's the point of fairy tales is that anyone could be a fairy. So be polite to everyone you meet. So the fairy goes, damn, you're being super rude.

Well, since you have so little breeding and are so disobliging, I give for you a gift that at every word you speak, there shall come out of your mouth a snake or a toad point for kelsey toad's part of the curse but also a snake that's fun yeah but also how does this work so it sounds awful so she goes back home and her mom goes well talk gave more money please money money please um god this book is so funny well mother answered the pert hussy throwing out of her mouth two vipers and two toads oh mercy cried the mother

what is it i see oh is it that wretch her sister who has occasioned all this so she immediately blames rose for the fact that her sister is a pert hussy some fucking people and then she goes and she beats her. She goes and she starts beating her child because the other one was rude to a fairy. So Rose, you know, tries to dip out. She runs away. She tries to hide herself

in the forest. And then, as happened in the previous story, the king's son, then on his return from hunting, met her. And seeing her so very pretty asked yes she's very pretty i shall take her home and marry her i think rose is a lot more into it though because she's in a super abusive situation and she can speak at least she can talk um he he asks her what she's doing out there all alone. And she goes like, oh, my mom, she threw me out.

But now she's talking, you know, five or six pearls and a few diamonds come out of her mouth. Bonus. She's pretty and gives me more money. Yep. This is a steal. Literally. The king's son desired her to tell him how that happened. That, you know, gemstones are dropping out of her mouth.

And she tells him the whole story and i imagine that just like a pile of money is just and like flowers are piling up around her as she's telling this story and so the king's son fell in love with her you know as one imagine that and considering himself that such a gift was worth more than any marriage portion, I'm assuming that means that she kind of comes with her own dowry for life. Conducted her to the palace of the king, his father, and there married her. Imagining his eyes in that cartoon where the money symbols go up and everyone's like, Yes! Yes, it's exactly that and um as for the sister she made herself so much hated that her own mother turned her off

which you created her you know her mom kicks her out of the house and fanny uh having wandered about a good while without finding anybody to take her in went to a corner of the wood and I love that ending, actually. She died then. She died the end. Do I get a point? Because the rose becomes a princess? No, she just becomes a queen, huh? No, because it's the king's son, so it doesn't

play, like, you know, he marries her, which means she does become a princess. I think I get the point. So I think you get the point, because she does become a princess. There was a toad curse? Yep, so that's two points for Kelsey. What was my last prediction? Your last prediction.

Oh, that the diamonds fixed the curse. Yes, but which did not happen okay we're tied i've got two and you've got two good predictions that was great okay so yeah that is toads and diamonds honestly no edits well wait what is the moral of that story i guess just be nice be polite to every single stranger you meet because you you don't know who will hurt or hinder you yeah be polite yeah be polite to old women but also be polite to rich yeah just be polite in general i've actually i've actually found that to be very good advice anyway because you you genuinely never know who in your life might end up being helpful to you so it's it's generally best best to try to be nice to everybody

unless they're a Nazi, in which case you don't have to be nice to them. Go ahead and punch them. Yeah, they have forfeited all their rights to niceness. And so they should be punched. So yeah, so I don't know, like what would your edits be for this? Like if you, do you have any fixes for Toads and Diamonds?

You know, I think based on both of our stories, your edits be for this like if you do you have any fixes for toads and diamonds you know i think based on both of our stories one of my fixes would be just about how it's always like an evil mom yes because being a mom is hard enough but hearing all these stories about moms being or especially stepmoms they get a bad rap i think that's just a general fairy tale fix theme i'd like to see is we'd like to see some of these moms turned into like not horrible people you should also respect your your parents your kid and that i don't feel like those kinds of stories really help with that i just know know growing up watching fairy tales, you see all these fairy tales that are like the mom's always evil or absent. And well, because that's how kids have adventures, I guess, if there's no if their mother isn't there to protect them from adventures.

That's true. So the evil they either have to be wicked or dead for for children to have adventures i'm excited to come upon some because a lot of them have evil moms um and actually so it's interesting in the original version of this story uh the widow was their evil stepmother we're like we're like Fanny was her biological daughter, but Rose was her father's daughter from a previous marriage. Yeah. Stepmoms get such a bad rap.

And so they changed, they changed the story because it was too similar to Cinderella. That's funny. They made the stepmother, both of their mother, which, which is kind of like is even, it's even sadder

in some ways because that means that that is her daughter not that not that you should like abuse your stepchildren either but i guess that's splitting hairs i mean that's what we're that is what we're here for um my i guess my only other fix for it is kind of again she was really frightened and out in the woods all by herself and the king's son rode by and said like ah she drops money out of her mouth when i talk to her and she's pretty i'm gonna marry you and she's like god yes please i mean yes i'm sure i'm sure she did but also like you know maybe get to know each other but that's that's you know not how medieval times worked i suppose i don't know i feel like that's a's you know not how medieval times worked i suppose i don't know i feel like that's a very generalized fairy tale fix specifically for this story i kind of just want

more sass from fanny from yes oh that's a great one yes i want more fanny than we got also we didn't really get much of okay my other my other fix. Rose has absolutely no personality. Her only personality character trait is that she's kind. I want a little more from Rose. Yeah, and maybe that's not even her just being kind. Maybe she's just polite and she's like, okay, like just a pushover. Fanny was also polite. She did let her drink.

She just had a little sass about it and was like, all right. She was like, I mean, I didn't bring this out here for you, but fine, whatever. I love it i mean also you shouldn't talk to strangers and there's a lot of interesting things about this story that are different in modern times very true there could be a lot of implications that's a good point i mean as much as this book is preaching being being polite to everybody there are lots of people in this world that you should not be polite to like if someone if someone's frightening you or or being super rude to you you don't owe them politeness in return yeah you don't owe them anything so good for fanny for being good for fanny fanny's the true hero of the story i'm sad she's dead that pert hussy and who knows i don't know maybe she went out into the woods by herself but

she had a great life and then she died she was like maybe she was happy i hope so i can i can only she had a lot of friends because her curse made living things come out of her mouth oh my gosh yeah snakes and toads that's a lot yeah poor fanny anyway that's gonna do it for us for this episode of fairy tale fix thank you so much for listening to our second episode we are so excited to finally be doing this and that's uh anybody's listening at all so thank you if you like the show and have some suggestions or you have your own fixes for the fairy tales you've heard if you want us to cover anything in particular if you want to tell us what fairy tale movies really grabbed your imagination and attention as a kid please email us at

fairytalefixpodcast at gmail.com you can also go to twitter or instagram at fairytale fix pod and drop us a line any of that stuff give us a follow if you want to leave us a review on apple podcast or itunes or stitcher or whatever wherever you could leave reviews for podcasts that would really help us out because it helps other people find the show absolutely and just again thank you so much for listening yeah it's very exciting for us this is really fun it is really fun uh so in conclusion fanny gets uncursed somehow and lives happily ever after being the sass queen that she is and elisa and her brothers work together to fix the education system into teaching reading reading, and writing in the curriculum. And then they also take a ship across the seas to their father's kingdom and kill that old evil bitch.

And they lived happily ever after. Perfect.