Fairy Tale Fix - 24: The Three Mermaids

Episode Date: August 17, 2021

Abbie tells an uplifting story that is the fairy tale equivalent of meeting drunk girls in a bar bathroom, The Three Mermaids, as told by our favorite fairy tale goddess Ruth Manning-Sanders. Kelsey then ruins the entire episode and feel-good vibe with a very short and disturbing tale, The Wolves.

I made that gin and tonic very strong. So I'm really glad that I already went because I just finished it and now I'm kind of starting to feel a little bit. Good. Now I will have some excellent commentary for my story. Oh, yeah. I'm feeling loose and I'm ready to be sassy. Hello. Hello and welcome.

To Fairy Tale Fix. To the show. Still doing it. Still here. Still making it happen. Still telling those tales. Well, we just keep finding more and they keep making us go, what the fuck? Yep.

Yes, they do. And they're so good. We're still here. It's great. We absolutely love it, man. Did you guys know that there are a lot of fairy tales? There's a lot. Oh, yeah.

Yep. So many. I don't know if you realize this, but people all over the world really enjoy telling each other wacky stories. Mm-hmm. So, you know. Yeah, they do. We got to go find them all, like Pokemon. Got to collect them all.

Weird, dark Pokemon with a lot of murder. A lot of murder. A lot of capturing poor maidens in the forest. A lot of drugging people. A lot of murder, a lot of capturing poor maidens in the forest. A lot of drugging people. A lot of abuse to horses. Yeah, lots of horse abuse. It's the greatest. We're having fun.

Why wouldn't you listen to this podcast? What's not to love is my question. I love them so much. I have a lot of fun. It's always fun picking out the fairy tales. I was going through one of my books today. Actually, I went through a bunch of books today. I could not like pick one. It's always harder. It's harder for me with the short fairy tales. Whenever I have the short one, it's always like difficult to choose because I'll read through like a bunch of them. There's's so much there's so much happening

in that one to two pages or sometimes not enough i don't know short ones i really sometimes feel like they're just there wasn't enough time to really dig into the meat yeah definitely of this particular story i want this this could have been easily another like two to three pages yeah because they never explain anything. They're like, oh, the fairy cursed, blah, blah. And they don't explain why. She just felt like it. She just felt like it. You know, whatever. That's a fine answer. I just want to know. If the answer was she just felt like it, I want to know if that was why. That is a fine reason. Well, I did want to acknowledge that since this episode comes out on August 17th, that this is Kelsey's birthday episode.

Yay! Happy birthday. How do you feel? Thank you. I'm very excited. 32 feels really great, everybody. You're really going to enjoy it. Or if you're past that, you probably already know that 32 is the year.

It's the best year. The best year. You can say that. Having not experienced that year yet. But you're pretty sure it was the best year. I'm pretty sure it just already, like, it gets better and better. So I'm excited, I guess. That's exciting.

I'm basically, I don't have any plans or anything. I'm just going to, like, probably watch a scary movie with my friends over video. Yeah. And, yeah, drink some champagne because that's my favorite. Sounds like a pretty solid birthday. Yeah. To me. Do a little chill thing.

And Abby was really sweet. I actually had a recommendation for my birthday episode. I wanted her to read a very specific story that I'm really excited about. Yeah, I know. I'm really excited. I'm really excited about. Yeah, I know. I'm really excited. I'm really excited to get to it. Is there any is there any like housekeeping stuff that we need to get out of the way first? You know, I do want to say it's been a while since we've thanked our patrons on a regular episode. I think we've been mostly doing that on Patreon episodes,

which they know who they are on the Patreon, because if you're listening to it, you are a patron and that's how part of how we thank you. But yeah, let's do that. Yeah. I just want to thank all of our patrons. We're getting such a good group of people. So I want to thank Jordan and Jeremy and Lisa and Maddie and Kaylee and Zach and Kelsey and Dami and Chris and Jen and Julie

and Noah and Ricky and Elizabeth and Cynthia and Bill and Angel and Dustin. Thank you all. And Adam, if he ever gets his debit card issue figured out. gets his debit card issue figured out. Yeah, my husband, Adam, is a patron. He's very sweet. I told him that that's where I talk about him. So if he wants to hear what I say about him on the podcast, he has to. He has to give you money. He has to become a patron. And he did, which made me laugh. But then his card was declined. And he didn't notice. So obviously he wasn't listening to them. Which is okay. It's fine.

But it made me laugh. So yeah, thanks so much to all of our patrons. You guys really make this show happen. You have no idea how much it means to us. And if you are interested in becoming a patron yourself, you get one extra bonus episode or a bonusode. A bonusode. Every month.

Yeah, you get that at the $6 tier. And then as you kind of go up in levels, you get merch. Yeah. And honestly, I send stickers to everyone who signs up because I'm just so stoked. Like, we love you guys. Thank you so much for becoming a patron. It's the best. Right.

So that's what you get at the $6 level. And then as you go up, you get stickers, as Kelsey mentioned. We have to adjust these because some of these we're just giving to everybody. Yeah. Like I said, I just send stickers and a thank you note to everyone i wouldn't necessarily put it on there i just like to do it i think it's nice well you get merch you get cool swag cool fairy tale fix swag so you get cool fairy tale fix swag and uh the opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with us if you want. So go ahead and head over to our Patreon and check that out.

You can get there at fairytalefix.cash. You can also actually search for us now. So if you've ever gone to Patreon and gotten into that search bar and tried to search for a fairy tale fix podcast and nothing came up we have fixed that issue so you can now find us and sign up for our patreon if that's something you're interested in also something i just think that i would like to mention about our patreon you should just go at least look at the tiers because abby came up with all of them and she wrote basically like a little fairy tale story for each tier. I did.

It's really cute. You start off as a beautiful peasant. And make your way up to a witch's apprentice. And then a cat's familiar. And then a job creating dragon. And at our highest level, a fairy overlord. So far, Ricky is our fairy overlord, and he's doing a great job. Yes.

Oh, we love you, Ricky. But yeah, you essentially, you go through this little fairy tale. It's really a choose your own adventure of what feels right to you. Where on your journey you want to stop. Even if you're not that interested, you should just go read and appreciate Abby's creativity. Because it was really cute. I'm very funny. I just want everybody to know.

I really enjoyed that. And give us that gold, baby. We need that gold. For reasons. We owe so many wizards. We do. God, we have made a lot of bargains with wizards. It was unwise.

We are struggling to get out from under this wizard-induced debt. Please be a job- bargains with wizards. It was unwise. We are struggling to get out from under of this wizard-induced debt. Please be a job creating dragon for us. I think that'll do it. As I recall, the story that I'm reading is a longish one. It looks like you have two books there. I do. I'm going to be reading a story today called The Three Mermaids. And it's a story from Italy, according to the attribution in the book. Couldn't find any background information about it because every time I tried to Google it, I just got a lot of links to The Little Mermaid. And this is such a good story. It's absolutely one of my favorites.

And I am so excited to hear Abby tell it. Yeah. And it's definitely a more obscure one. And I really love it. So this is a story that Kelsey and I both read for the first time in A Choice of Magic by, of course, Ruth Manning Sanders, our favorite. Fairytale goddess. Yes, an absolute fairytale storytelling goddess. And then I also have A Book of Mermaids here, which is the other Ruth Manning Sanders book that this story is featured in. And I'm going to read out of a book of mermaids because my copy of a choice of magic is super old.

And so I want to preserve it and not worry about like bumping it into stuff or cracking the spine any further. But I did just want to like, I did just want to shout out the illustration in here, like right at the top. We will definitely, I'll definitely like take a picture and we can post it to our instagram but and just want to show it to you so you can see it god that's so beautiful yeah i think i have the same illustration in my book

you you almost certainly do because i bought you the same i bought you the same edition okay it looks a little different than yours Or maybe it just doesn't have that front plastic cover. Maybe. Mine's like hard and teal. Yeah, I don't think yours. Yours is like a library copy. The copy I have of A Choice of Magic actually inspired the colors for our logo. It's funny.

It wasn't supposed to be my wedding colors. I swear. I didn't do my wedding colors. That is how it shook out though. Were very, very similar to our logo color. But that was the inspiration was from A Choice of Magic. And I think it looked beautiful. I think it worked out well. It's an attractive set of colors.

That's why you used them for your wedding colors. Like teal, aqua blue goes really well with like a really orange pink. It just looks good. They just go together. Really does. But yeah, it was really inspired by the cover of that book. So anyway. But yeah, but so I know Kelsey and I have both read this one. I will confess I didn't get a chance to read this before we started recording. So I don't remember if I have both read this one. I will confess I didn't get a chance to read this before we started recording. So I don't remember if I have any fixes for it or not. We will find out as we go along. My only prediction is that you will have no fixes. Because I'm pretty sure this was a perfect fairy tale. I remember really, really liking it. I think this is one of the

ones that you and I really, really like. So maybe that's why I don't remember any particular issues that I have with it. So we will read along and we'll see. I will say what's really exciting is it is a really hard to find fairy tale. You can't find information about it. A Choice of Magic is out of print, but A Book of Mermaids is in print. So definitely check our show notes. We'll link it so you can purchase the book. Definitely buy it book all of these stories are just the best they really they really are i'm so excited that map media has been reprinting yeah go all of these incredible books go map media yeah absolutely like some of the best people doing the lord's work reprinting these extremely pagan stories so yeah um without further ado,

I'm just going to go ahead and I'm going to get into it. You sit back, relax, and enjoy your birthday story. Thank you. So the three mermaids from Italy. Once upon a time, there was a rich widower

who had an only daughter called Cecilia. Cecilia was pretty and good. And if the widower had been content to stay as he was, all would have been well, but what must he go do? But marry a widow who also had an only daughter.

We can already see where this is going. And so can the narrator. I love that the narrator is just, but what must he go and do? But marry a widow. Doesn't he, has he not read the book? Does he, has he not read the book? Has he not seen the movie? Does he not watch this show? It's a bad idea every time if you are a single man with an only

daughter. Yep. I mean, in fairy tales, for sure. For sure. I mean, not necessarily like a terrible move in real life, but in fairy tales, that's always a terrible idea. Granizia was the daughter's name, and she was not pretty or good. Neither was the widow. They were both ugly and envious. As soon as he was married, the man knew what a mistake he had made. The new wife made his life a burden. She bullied, she scolded, she must have her own way in everything, right or wrong. Bye. He just leaves.

Bye. He just leaves. Which, what a gormless, spineless man. He just noped out of there. He just leaves. He doesn't, oh, I don't know, like stand up to her, ask her to leave, maybe tell his daughter what the game plan is so they can leave together. He just goes like a spineless loser. She must have been real nice before they got married.

I don't know. I know. There's an interesting story there for sure. And especially because, I mean, if she's not pretty or good, like. What was her? Yeah. What was the appeal like she's she's ugly and mean he had hadn't got laid in a while goggles yeah well i mean and i'm not gonna lie i think we've all been there kelsey literally saved me from like a i haven't gotten laid in a while in a while goggles

moment in college where i was total tangent but i was talking to this guy that was in one of our classes that we had mutually when we were like 21 or something and you know we we went to lunch with him once and I was obviously crushing hard and was like wow like isn't he great Kelsey was like no he's boring and ugly you just haven't gotten laid in a while. No, Abby, don't do it. That guy is he was such a weirdo. Why do what do you see in him? What? That guy? Him? There was nothing. And we're throwing around the word ugly a lot as if that's a word that like means anything. Oh, yeah. I don't actually remember him being particularly like ugly, actually. I just remember him being like really boring with no personality. And, you know, obviously just like not good enough for Abby.

He was just he was very average in every possible way. And Abby was like, isn't he great? And I was like, no. No, he's really not he's not great oh anyway uh it's nice to have a friend like you I'm really glad that we're still friends here on your 32nd birthday me too to tell each other when we're having those moments so Cecilia's father just ups and leaves because he sucks. And Cecilia, he's not slick. Cecilia sees him going and runs after him. Father, father, where are you going?

My poor child, I am going away. I am leaving everything to your stepmother. I will find some work or other and make a new home. And when I have a new home, I will send for you. Don't cry. My little bird soon. We shall be together again.

That happens quite often in fairy tales. Somebody just bounces and they're like, no, I'll totally come back for you. I'll totally come back for you. Yeah. Don't, I will absolutely send word.

Uh, you, why, why can't you come with me? That's a, gosh, that's a good question um uh as he's walking down the street more you know the reason for that is he's slowly backing away yep i'll tell you when you're older and i and i send for you after i have a house built okay bye cecilia waited and waited but her father didn't send for her.

Surprise, surprise. The work he found would barely keep himself. He had no money to make a new home. And the stepmother was furious. Oh, she was glad enough to be rid of her husband, but she had to blame someone for him leaving her and she blamed Cecilia. Of course. Of course.

Clearly. Yeah. Clearly it's the child's fault. Yes. It's always, it's the child's fault. Definitely. I swear there's a reason Kelsey and I really like this story. It just has a rough start. It does. I kind of forgot about that. Me too. I haven't read this one in a while. First, she gave Cecilia a good beating and then she snatched off her pretty clothes and dressed her in rags. And then she gave Cecilia a good beating, and then she snatched off her pretty clothes and dressed her in rags, and then she put her to do all the dirty work. But she dressed her own daughter, Grenizia, in fine clothes and made Cecilia wait on her, and Grenizia gave herself airs and looked down on Cecilia. I would just like to say Grenizia is a fantastic name.

It's a great name. I love that. I've never heard that. No, that's a new one. And I don't remember her having a name, but I love that. Me neither. I thought I couldn't. I didn't remember that she had one. But she has a name, which is great.

And it's a really, really good one. Yep. Ruth Manning Sanders giving people names. Left and right. Willy nilly. She's just the best. I appreciate her. True feminist.

Anyway, so basically they're using Cecilia as a household servant. And the house where they lived was on a cliff above the sea. And one day the stepmother set Cecilia out with a bucket of garbage to empty over the cliff. The bucket was very heavy, and as Cecilia stooped over the cliff edge to shake out the garbage, the bucket slipped from her hands and went rattle, rattle, rattle down the cliff and bump onto the beach below. Oh dear, oh dear, Cecilia knew that if she went back without the bucket, her stepmother would give her a beating. What was she to do? The cliff was very high and steep. She knelt down and peered over it. There was the bucket lying on the sand and lying with his tail curled around the bucket was a sea monster. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Now we're getting to the good stuff.

Yes, please. The sea monster had huge eyes that glittered like green gems and he was staring up at Cecilia. Cecilia felt frightened, but she called down politely good morning to you sir good morning to you pretty one shouted the sea monster so polite i love that she's like sir to the sea monster which i feel like is good advice always be polite to sea monsters. Just always just be polite to monsters in general, because sometimes they rock and they give you stuff. Like now, he asks her, what does she wish? And she says, I wish you many blessings, sir, said Cecilia. I wish you a rich wife and all that your heart can desire. And if you could climb up to me with my bucket, I should be greatly obliged. Oh, she's just the best. I love Cecilia.

She is the best. And the monster totally agrees. The monster says, my good girl, if you want your bucket, you must come and fetch it. And he got up, twitched his tail and waddled off into the sea on his flat webbed feet.

So he waddles off into the ocean with her bucket. And Cecilia is a incredibly brave girl in addition to being an incredibly nice one because instead of going like, well, that bucket's lost because a sea monster dragged it into the ocean, she actually starts to scramble down the cliff face. The stones broke loose, the roots came away in her hands, and she all but fell many a time, but she finally gets down. And she was about to pick up her bucket, though how she would get up that cliff again, she didn't know. Oh, he didn't drag her bucket into the ocean. He just told her to stop being lazy and come down and get it herself.

I get it. Does she really only have the one bucket? Maybe? I don't know. Her stepmother sounds cheap. I don't think she bought another bucket. The sea monster just seems like he's being really unhelpful but yes but he has secrets he does all sea monsters have secrets so she picks up her bucket and she's trying to figure out how to get back up the cliff face

when she hears the sound of very sweet singing and there under the cliff she saw a cave and in it were three mermaids singing and combing their hair. Come hither, come hither, you pretty girl, sang the mermaid. So Cecilia went into the cave and the mermaids bade her sit down by them. Now we have a pretty little girl to comb for it, said the first mermaid. And she laid her head in Cecilia's lap and said, comb, comb. Cecilia combed the mermaid's hair and the mermaid said, you look at my hair and what do you see? I see sunbeams in it, said Cecilia. Is it beautiful and gold and shining, said the mermaid. It is beautiful and gold and shining as the sun itself,

said Cecilia. So then the second mermaid lays her head in Cecilia's lap and says, comb, comb. Cecilia combed the second mermaid's hair and the second mermaid said, you look at my hair and what do you see? I see moonbeams in it, said Cecilia. Is it beautiful, silver and shining, said the second mermaid. It is beautiful, silver and shining as the full moon itself, said Cecilia. And then the third mermaid lays her head in Cecilia's lap and says, comb, comb. So Cecilia combed, and the third mermaid said, you look at my hair and what do you see? I see starlight in it, said Cecilia. Is it beautiful and bright and shining, said the

third mermaid. It is beautiful and bright and it shines like the stars in heaven, said Cecilia. I really love the energy of these mermaids. They're like, comb my hair and tell me how beautiful I am. Tell me how beautiful it looks. What do you see in it? We'll get to this later after we do the second half of the story. But yes, I do love the initial vanity of what do you see in my hair? And they're all excited to see Cecilia. They're like, oh, good. Come and comb my hair.

Oh, good. Come brush my hair. You're cute. It's kind of like the old lady that really wants the guys to comb her hair. Yes, yes. Except they're beautiful mermaids. So it's like, it's different. Yeah, the old woman from the Seven Falls.

This is a little different. It's just kind of like chaotic energy. And it's also a little seductive. Oh, I mean, that's mermaids to a tea, though. I know. That's why I love this story. Chaotic and a little seductive. And then sometimes they eat

your face off. So it's a good thing Cecilia is very polite. Yeah, you have to compliment them a lot. It's a lot like me. That's why I like the story so much. You just have to tell me how pretty my hair is or I'll eat your face off. Or I'll eat your face off. But if they tell you how pretty your hair is, you'll make them nice charcuterie boards.

Exactly. I'll do nice things. So Cecilia compliments the hell out of all of their hair and the three mermaids were pleased. They looked at their hair and their mirrors and said, yes, little girl, you have done very well and you have the manners of a princess.

Come, we will show you to our house. And so they take her down under the cave and swam with her through emerald green water into a palace of pearl, very grand and beautiful. They brought her lovely clothes and jewels and said, choose what you will have. But Cecilia said, I'm not used to grand clothes, but I see I have torn and dirtied my apron coming down the cliff. So if you have an apron to spare that is neat and plain, I should be grateful.

Listen to her laugh, the mermaids. An apron neat and plain. Has no one ever told you, child, how beautiful you are? You are beautiful as any queen and queenly shall be your raiment. Oh, yeah. I love them. I love it so much that she's attempting modesty. She's trying to be as demure as possible because she still doesn't have a lot of self-confidence. She's trying not to detract her attention to herself, even though all of this magical stuff is happening

to her. And the mermaids are like, no, you deserve all of this. It's like big sister energy. Huge big sister energy. Absolutely. Big auntie energy too. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Big auntie energy. How old do you think Cecilia is in this? Well, they keep calling her little girl. And she does seem young. I don't think it ever says how old she is. I'm guessing sort of like a preteen. Yeah, maybe like 12.

Yeah, 12, maybe a younger teenager. I'm thinking like anywhere from 12 to 14 because i think that that's about the range at which you can still be called little girl before it starts becoming like kind of insulting they tell her you are beautiful as a queen and queenly shall be your raiment and they brought a gold dress and put it on her then they combed her hair with their golden combs to like glittered like the morning dew and then they set on her head the prettiest little hat, like a basket of flowers, tied it with flowery ribbons under her chin, knotted up some of her hair on top,

and left the rest to hang down in curls on each side. Then they brought her to stand in front of a looking glass. And Cecilia says, can this really be myself? Or is this a princess? And the mermaids cry, both, both. Oh, it's so cute.

I'm literally like misting a little bit, just like the support. Yeah. See, so there is a lot of like women supporting women energy in this story. Because it didn't start that way. you meet people outside of your family who reflect your actual self back to you and not who your family says you are or the things your family blames you for. You can go out and find your real self reflected in other people and the way they see you. I'm also getting just a little bit of drunk girls in a bar bathroom. Oh my God. Yes, that's it. It's not Big Sisters. It's not Auntie Energy. It's drunk girls in a bar bathroom. Oh my God. Yes, that's it. It's not big sisters.

It's not auntie energy. It's drunk girls in the bathroom energy. It's like you came in crying. Your makeup is ruined. And they're just like, they've got their makeup out. They're fixing your makeup. They're telling you a fucking gorgeous you look.

And they're telling you that you shouldn't let anybody talk to you that way. It's the fairy tale version gosh yes this is the fairy tale version of drunk girls in a bathroom i love it she asks like is this a princess and the mermaids cry both both and they laugh and they kiss her cheeks and now you must take your bucket and go home, they told her. Which way will you go, by the front door or the back? There was a big golden door at the front of the palace, and there was a little wooden stable door at the back of the palace. Cecilia says, I'll go out the back way. And the mermaids laugh again. Oh, Cecilia. And push her through the golden door. And as she's going through it, they call,

look up, look up, see what's above you. Cecilia looks up and a golden star falls from the lintel of the door onto her forehead. Oh gosh. I love that. I love that so much.

So magical. I love this story. As soon as she had gone through the door, she found herself on the top of the cliff with a bucket in her hand, which the bucket feels really heavy. She looks down and it's full to the brim with pearls my stepmother will be pleased with me at last she thought and she ran into the house that is such a sad thought but when her stepmother saw her in her golden dress with the flowery hat on her head and her hair and elegant curls and the golden star shining

on her forehead. Well, then the stepmother wasn't pleased at all. She screeched with rage. What have you been up to? Stealing? She screamed. How dare you come into the house dressed like that? And what's that ridiculous thing on your head? Take it off. Take everything off. Poor Cecilia. I know. She's a sweet summer child. She is a sweet summer child. And this lady is super, super cruel. She's a bitch. Yes. She's like a really just really just nightmare parenting. She snatches the hat from Cecilia's head, strips her of the golden dress, and she even tries to pull the star off of Cecilia's forehead, but all she does is burn her fingers.

Good. Which I love. I love that the star actually has like some star fire going on. And that made her angrier than ever. But when she saw the bucket full of pearls, she calmed down and said, well, after all,

I see you haven't been wasting your time. And she emptied the pearls into a chest and locked them up and bade Cecilia tell her where she had got them. So Cecilia tells her and the stepmother says tomorrow, Grenisia shall go. If the mermaids gave riches to a miserable little shrimp like you, they will give my Grenisia twice as much. Boo.

What me go down that dreadful cliff, said Grenizia? I won't do it. You will do as I tell you, said the stepmother. So the next morning, she put two buckets into Grenizia's hands, took her by the arm and hustled her to the edge of the cliff. Then she snatched the buckets and threw them over the cliff. Rattle, rattle, rattle, bump, bump to the shore below. snatched the buckets and threw them over the cliff. Rattle, rattle, rattle, bump, bump to the shore below. And she yells at Grenizia to go down after them. And Grenizia digs her heels into the turf at the top of the cliff and cries, I won't.

I won't do it. I mean, also poor Grenizia. Like what chance did she stand with, you know, an awful mother like that? Yeah. She was not like trained to be kind or humble she was probably rewarded for doing the exact opposite yeah and also she does not want to do this i'm reading the story because the last time i read this i had not read toads and diamonds yet yeah sassy queen fanny vibes yep And this is this is definitely Toads and Diamonds energy. Mm-hmm.

From what I remember I think we're going to sympathize with Garnizia less. Probably. As the story goes on. Unlike Fanny who we just kind of felt worse and worse for.

She was just funny. She was just funny. She was a sassy girl. I mean she was a pert hussy. I feel like we could go on and on about Fanny. We could. Because she was a pert hussy i feel like we could go on and on about fanny we could because she was actually kind of the greatest she was she still like offered water and did stuff

yeah she just also said like i mean you're a rich lady i'm not gonna get it for you which is something I admire that. So Grenizia totally understandably doesn't want to go down the cliff after the buckets, but the stepmother gave her a push and over she went sliding and scrambling and clinging to whatever there was to cling to. And she finally comes to the bottom bruised and angry. So she's already in a pretty bad mood. Yeah. The mermaids were singing in their cave and they call to Grenisia to come in. And in she marches and sits down by them.

So I guess this is just kind of their thing. If they just kind of lurk and they wait to see if there are any nice little girls that they can give riches to. I mean, what else are you going to do if you're a mermaid? It's actually a pretty cool occupation. It's like your main job, just kind of testing people. And then maybe like, you know, if men come in there, you just eat them. Like little girls get like a test of how good they are. And then if men come in there, they're just, you eat them.

Yep. Grenizia marches into the cave, sits down by the mermaids and says, here, give me a golden comb and look sharp about it. She said, it seems I have to comb your hair. I don't see why I should, but I suppose I must. Look sharp about it. I still don't hate her. Oh, my God.

If I have to fucking be here. Like, let's get it over with. I don't want to be here. I am completely unimpressed by the fact that you're actual mermaids. Give me the comb. So the mermaids give her the comb and the first mermaid lays her head in Grenizia's lap and says, comb, comb. And Grenizia drags the comb through the mermaid's hair. And the mermaid says, you comb, you comb. You are rough in your combing. You look on my hair and what do you see? I see bits of seaweed all tangled up,

said Grenizia. Just telling him like it is. Just totally honest. Maybe Cecilia was just flattering them and that was not at all what she saw, but that's, you know, she's been trained to lie to protect her own skin. Maybe the story is Cecilia is just really a fake bitch. Is just really a fake bitch? Cecilia is just really a fake bitch. Is just really a fake bitch? Then the second mermaid lays her head in Grenizia's lap and says, comb, comb.

And Grenizia jerks the comb through the mermaid's hair. And the mermaid says, you comb, you comb. You are not kind in your combing. You look on my hair and what do you see? I see ropes of brown seaweed all stuck together, said Grenizia. Don't blame me if your comb breaks. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm totally hearing this story a little bit

differently now. Yeah, no, a little bit, a little bit now that we're older. The third mermaid lays her head in Grenizia's lap and Grenizia tugs the comb through her shining hair you comb you comb said the third mermaid you are rough and cruel in your combing you look at my hair and what do you see i see rags of cloth washed up by the tide and full of sand said granizia oh geez i mean here's the thing though i think that this is sort of like a you see what you want to see and what your disposition allows you to see yeah um i think it's a test of kind of who you are as a person and then even like because even if she's just telling it like it is like she's not gentle she's not being kind she's not yeah she doesn't want to be there she's she doesn't want to be there um and she's not

making the best of it since she is anyway um she's kind of taking out her frustration on mermaids which is a bad idea terrible idea and also like telling telling them they're they're like that their hair is ugly which is deeply uncool in any circumstance. That's very rude. It's super rude. Don't take it out on the mermaids. But she's going to learn her lesson.

Although all of that was really funny. Like, it's kind of cracking me up now. I haven't read this story in a while. So she insults the final mermaid's hair and then says there that's done now let's have a look at your gems and your fine dresses for that's why i've come to be dressed up smartly and given two buckets full of pearls oh two buckets nice yeah her her enterprising mama sent her down there with two buckets so the mermaids take Grenizia down through the emerald green water

to their palace of pearl and they brought out their lovely dresses and jewels and they said, choose. See, and this is the other thing.

The mermaids did not deserve your sass because even after all that, they were still going to give her pretty dresses and jewels. They were like, okay, you know,

we all have bed days. Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, here, like, do you want a pretty dress? Will that make your day better? Yeah. But Grenizia flung the jewels from her and stamped on the dresses.

Is this the best you can do? She said. You don't get rid of me so easily. I'm not going till I have a much finer dress and far more splendid jewels than you gave to that little kitchen wench, Cecilia. Ugh. What a bitch. So she's going full Karen about it.

Full Karen. Never go full Karen. She wants to speak to their manager. Oh, my God. I love it so much. That is like the perfect analogy, too. Like, that is exactly how she's treating them. That's exactly what this is. Like, you know what, maybe this book is actually maybe the story is actually a metaphor for how you should treat waitstaff and service people. Politely.

Be kind. It's not that hard. Tell them they look nice. give people lots of compliments but like not in a weird way don't don't make it weird the mermaids show her every dress they have and still granizia demands better and finer ones we have no more said the mermaids at last. Then I suppose I must take the best of a bad lot, said Grenizia. And she chose a dress all weighed down with huge rubies. The dress was so stiff that when she put it on, she could hardly move and she didn't look at all nice in it. This would make such a great like movie. I want to see all the dresses and jewels and stuff. I want to see the cartoon of this. So then she searches around for a headdress.

There was a crown of pearls, a tiara of diamonds, and a chaplet of emeralds. Are you Googling what a chaplet is? Because I don't know what that is. I was trying to be sneaky and pour myself another glass of wine while you were talking. But now I'm Googling chaplet. A garland or a wreath for a person's head. Oh, okay. There you go. So there's an emerald chaplet. I'm also seeing a lot of

Catholic prayer beads. Grenizia has decided that a dress isn't enough for her. She also wants a crown of some sort. So there's a crown of pearls, a tiara of diamonds, and a chaplet of emeralds. And she crams all three of them on her head one on top of the other and said i'll take the lot i mean she's awful but she's also just really

funny i mean she's hilarious like this is this is like it's really funny but i'm also just like yeah there's a reason why like i like fanny more as a character if we're comparing the two stories. No, this is more like a character that you love to hate because she's awful, but she's also just really funny and sassy. And you're like, what's wrong with you? Why are you being so rude to these mermaids? They're mermaids. Why are you being so mean to the mermaids? What?

Especially since the mermaids are being so nice to you. Yeah. Anyway, the mermaids are getting close to not wanting to be nice to her anymore so they lead her to stand in front of the looking glass after she jammed all three headdresses on her head and they were laughing like anything what are you laughing at said granizia nothing, they said, and they go on laughing. I should like to box the ears of all three of you, you rude things, said Grenizia. I'm going now, where are my buckets? Here. Have you filled them with pearls, said Grenizia? They are quite full and heavy, said the mermaids. The buckets were so full of pearls that Grenizia could hardly lift them. What with the heavy buckets and the heavy dress and the heavy crowns in her head, she had a job to walk. Open the door for me, she said, staggering along.

The big golden door or the little wooden one, they asked. The golden one, of course, said Grenizia. Am I an ass that I should go out through your stables? Woo. Woo. She is just... She is an ass. Stassy, yeah. She really is.

She's a giant ass. The mermaids open the golden door, and as Grenizia was going through it, they call out, Look up, look up, see what is above you. Oh, I know what's above me, said Grenizia. I was going to look up without you telling me. Did she know what's above me said granizia i was going to look up without you telling me did she know what was above her not she when she looked up a donkey's tail fell from the

lintel of the door and onto her forehead because she is in fact an ass again just visuals would be so great for this in the in the illustration in a choice of magic there is an illustration of her wearing rags with the donkey the donkey tail on her forehead we'll take a picture of that too and uh post it yeah make sure to follow us on instagram the donkey's tail falls in her forehead and then there she is standing at the top of the cliff outside her home. She tried to pull the donkey's tail off her forehead, but it's stuck fast as if it grew there. She put up her hand to the crowns at her head.

They were ropes of Brown seaweed. She looked down at her jewel dress. It was rags of cloth washed up by the tide and full of sand. She appeared into her heavy buckets. They were piled up with beach pebbles she flung the buckets down outside the door and ran in howling granizia howled the stepmother screamed poor little cecilia put her hands over her ears and crept away into a corner but the stepmother dragged her out and shook her this is all you're doing screamed the stepmother

take the pig swill and off to the sties with you. What the pigs leave you to eat and where the pigs lie, you can lie. You'll get nothing more in this house, either food or bed. Just the worst. Don't raise such an awful daughter. And maybe,

you know, this won't happen to her. Cecilia took the pigs of pig's will and went out. The stepmother stripped off Grenizia's rags and dressed her in the clothes the mermaids had given to Cecilia, but she couldn't wrench the donkey's tail from Grenizia's forehead. However much she tugged and twisted. She took a knife to cut it off, but Grenizia howled, no, leave it alone. It hurts. Oh, that sucks. I know.

I think it really is just like a limb that she has now so then the stepmother fetched cecilia's flowery hat tipped it well forward over granizia's brow twisted the tail up under the hat and looped her hair about it now it scarcely shows she said but one of these days i shall kill that cecilia whoa whoa like this is great fairy tale parenting. A plus fairy tale parenting right over here. Cecilia spent the night in the pig's dyes. She felt cold in her rags, but the pigs were friendly. They crowded around her and kept her warm. And in the morning, when she let the pigs out into the fields, she heard the sound of galloping hooves and a horseman came riding along the road on the other side of the hedge.

Cecilia looked up at the horseman. He was indeed worth looking at. He was a prince, none other. The prince looked down at Cecilia. The golden star shone on her brow. And though she was in rags, her beauty was bright as the morning. Where is your home, little beauty? He asked.

In the pigsty, sir, said she. That's so sad. I know. But honestly, the pigs keep her warm. The pigs are nice to her. That almost kind of sounds nicer than trying to sleep inside with her awful, awful, abusive stepmother. Yeah, absolutely. And who owns the pigs? My stepmother, sir, said she. And where does your stepmother live? In yonder house, sir, said she. If I get your stepmother's consent, will you be my wife? That's so forward. I know. But here's the thing. That's why we have no fixes for this

story. He asks. That's true. That's very true. Okay. I guess that's, it's a little fast. It's a little fast, but he does ask if she would do that and she is a little girl and she is a little girl we determined she's probably no older than 14 but different times i guess i guess and honestly that's probably about the age that most most of the young women who get swept off by kings riding through the forest get picked up. So at least he asked. Oh, a pretty girl. I like pretty girls.

And I currently don't have any pretty girls. But I should probably ask her, I guess, if she wants to be my wife. At least there's that. Like bare minimum. Yep. He did the bare minimum. The bar is real low in fairy tales. Yeah.

I mean, he's not even getting to know her. Maybe she's, I just. She's a girl. It was, she's a girl that slept with the pigs last night, but she's real pretty. That's all he knows. That's literally it. That's all you really need to know, right? Just, oh, pretty.

Ooh, pretty. He asks, will you be my wife? And she said, willingly, sir. Because, wow, I hate it here. Please. And like, honestly, how could it get worse? Yeah, classic abused child. Just please take me.

I could do worse than going from a pigsty to a palace. Yeah. I would have said yes to anything to get out of here. Doesn't matter. Whatever you want. I was actually thinking about letting the sea monster eat me. So the prince turns his horse and rides to the house. As anyone within, the stepmother comes out.

She is all smiles and curtsies the prince says i am a prince i want to guess he's 14 too i hope so because he seems really young i'm a prince i am a prince. I am a prince. Will you give me your stepdaughter for wife, the lovely girl with the star on her forehead? The stepmother bobbed and grinned. If you will send for her tonight, your highness, I will get her ready. I will come for her tonight, said the prince and rode away.

And the stepmother called Grenisia. We must do what we can with you, she said. The prince comes tonight to marry you because I'm sure he'll never notice the donkey tail. Yeah. She hurried into town and bought a pot of gold paint. She painted a gold star on the piece of the donkey's tail that showed under the flowery hat. It's very creative. She's really creative.

Working with what she's got. She's resourceful. And, you she's got. She's resourceful. And, you know, a monster, but resourceful. By night, the prince won't know any difference, she said. And once you're married, he'll have to put up with you. Even she doesn't like her daughter. Her daughter really sucks. So in the evening, the prince comes back.

It was a dark night. The moon was not yet risen, and only a star or two showed amongst the clouds. When Grenizia heard the prince calling, she opened the door of the house and stepped out into the darkness. The prince couldn't see her face, but the gold paint gleamed under the brim of the hat and the gold dress that the mermaids had given to Cecilia glittered. Are you ready, my bride? said the prince. I am dressed and ready, said Grenizia. Your voice sounds strangely different, said the prince. Because unlike the prince in Cinderella, for example, he notices other details about the person that he wants to marry. You know, I know I just met you, but I'm pretty sure I saw you just a few hours ago. And you sound different. Is that it though? Is there anything else he notices? No.

I'm a little husky. It's the cold night air, said she. And the prince swung her up onto his horse and galloped away with her. And at dawn, he galloped her back. Nope. Nope. One glance when they got to the palace had shown him he had been deceived. Now he was looking everywhere for Cecilia, but he couldn't find her. The stepmother had gone into the forest to gather sticks. And where was Cecilia?

Shut up in a barrel with the lid nailed firmly down on top of her. God damn. The stepmother was gathering sticks to make a bonfire and burn the barrel. Holy shit. I know. I forgot that part. All I remember was the part with the mermaids and the dresses. There are so many.

Also, just there are so many easier ways to murder someone that's so horrible yeah yikes wow okay so the prince had searched in the fields he had searched in the pig styes and now he was running through the house searching in every room my bride my bride he crawled where are you i don't actually know your name i forgot to ask oh geez okay the barrel stood in the kitchen by the ashes of the hearth lying in the ashes was a tabby cat meow meow said the tabby cat my bride my bride where are you cried the prince meow meow your bride is in the barrel said the tabby cat what the fuck i don't remember that at all it's a random talking cat love it love it love it you love to see it oh my god the prince put his ear against the barrel he heard a soft low moaning he seized a hatchet that's hung by the fire and wrenched up the lid of the barrel and yes

there inside was his lovely little bride the prince took her up in his arms put her on his horse and galloped away with her jeez this is why she agreed to marry you without asking any questions uh-huh yep no fault to cecilia whatsoever get really couldn't be worse up out of there but also one more information on this talking tabby cat i need to know the stepmother comes back with the firewood and what does she see she sees the barrel lying on its side and granizia sitting in a corner with her hat in her hand and the donkey's tail hanging down over her nose meow meow said the tabby cat our little cecilia is stolen away the stepmother further proving why she's just an animal throws the firewood at the cat and this is why the cat didn't want to help you don't kill the messenger

the cat spat at the stepmother grenizia howled the tabby cat marched out of the house with his tail brushed up meow meow i'm going to cecilia's wedding he said oh my god oh my gosh and it was a very grand wedding. The three mermaids were invited. They came riding on the sea monster. Yes. Amazing.

That's what the other illustration is in the book. So we'll put a picture of that up. It's so great. The sea monster needed a much bigger part, but I'm glad he made a comeback. I thought the sea monster was in it more. Anyway, so the three mermaids come and they're riding the sea monster and the sea monster gave a wink with one of his huge green eyes and said to Cecilia, you did right.

My good girl to climb down the cliff after your bucket. And the mermaids give Cecilia three wishes. Ooh. Cecilia being an angel first wishes that they would take the donkey's tail off of Grenizia's forehead. Oh, Cecilia. There is no reason that she would want to do that. The second wish was that her father might be found and brought to live at the palace. Again, he doesn't deserve it, but she's an actual angel.

She is the literal sweet summer child just so innocent and she and john should get married from that other story exactly just the best people really um by the way that is referencing our last bonus episode john and his brothers the fucking ever. He's the best man who's ever lived. And Cecilia is the best lady that's ever lived. So they should just get married. Yep. This prince is going to be disappointed. I ship it.

I ship it. I'll put this in the Ivan expanded universe. Yes, that's headcanon. That's what I want. It's what we deserve. It's what they deserve. So the first wish was that the donkey tail gets removed from Cronizia's forehead. that's headcanon. That's what I want. It's what we deserve. It's what they deserve. So the first wish was that the donkey tail gets removed from

Cronusia's forehead. The second wish is that her father is found and brought to live in the palace. And the third wish was that everyone might be as happy as she was. Because she's the best. The first two wishes, the mermaids granted at once. And if they couldn't

quite grant Cecilia's third wish, they did their best. At any rate, they saw to it that most people were happy. And if there were any people who weren't happy, well, that was not the mermaid's fault. The end. Beautiful ending. I love that ending. Yeah. Beautiful ending.

I love that ending. Yeah. I'm just like, you know, we'll do our best. But some people, a.k.a. like your whole family, are just determined to be miserable. Yeah. That's not on us. They just don't want to be happy. And so they're not.

Oh, that was amazing. You did a fantastic job. Thank you for reading that. You're welcome. Happy birthday. Yeah. No fixes for this story. I don't know. I wish Cecilia stood up for herself a little bit more and was just a little bit more like not just nice, you know, good.

That's fair. Kind. But at the end, I feel like that was just a little too nice yeah uh you know agreed like making making room for the fact that i think like you know being abused the way she is i think definitely leads to that kind of like appeasement yeah for sure strategies but i really do think that instead like that when the prince rolls up and says hey if i get your stepmother's permission do would you marry me because i think he's assuming that her that you know her family I really do think that instead, like that when the prince rolls up and says, Hey, if I get your stepmother's permission, do you,

would you marry me? Cause I think he's assuming that her, that, you know, her family plays by the usual rules for some reason. Yeah. Um, even though she's sleeping in the pigsty. And,

and I think that that should have been the final straw. So maybe my only fix is that she was like, Nope, uh, I'll marry you right now. Uh, pull me up on your horse and let's go. Yep.

For real. I fucking love the cat. I don't remember that part at all. I'm going to Cecilia's wedding. I'm going to her wedding. Bye. I, yes, I forgot about the talking cat. That is so excellent. I love all of the dresses and the mermaids and. Oh, yeah yeah Grenizia is awful but she's so funny such a good story and hopefully I don't know I do I do love Grenizia I hope she learned you know a lesson and oh there's this yeah I love I do I do like that Cecilia asks that the donkey tail be removed yeah oh. Oh yeah. I wouldn't change that for sure.

Yeah. No, it wouldn't change that because, because like, I think that that kind of, that gives, that gives Grenisia an opportunity to learn to be a better person. Yeah.

I don't know. I like the story. It's a good one. Wonderful. I love it. Thank you. You're welcome. And thank you,

Ruth Manning Sanders for bringing that, just doing it again, you know, bringing us the content we love, the stories we deserve. Okay, so this one is called The Wolves. So I will let you make one prediction since it is so short. One prediction for The Wolves. The Wolves are werewolves. Oh, that is such a good prediction. Because, like, I know that you're in a Halloween mood at the moment.

That's probably why I picked the title for sure. Go ahead and tell me about how it's not werewolves. Okay. Here we go. This is the wolves from The Turnip Princess and Other Newly Discovered Fairy Tales. A wealthy prince was married to a beautiful woman. The two had no children and that was a source of great sorrow for the prince. As for the princess, she was consumed with envy whenever anyone in the kingdom gave birth to a child.

One day, the prince and princess were visiting a village and they looked on as a festive group made its way into a local church a farmer was having his triplets baptized and everyone in the village had gathered to celebrate wow his triplets i know dang okay i hope their mother's okay the princess was planning to put a stop to the festivities. Why? Rude. Yeah, because she's just so jealous that she can't have kids and she's a little creep. Oh, sure. Yeah. Okay.

She's just like- One of those. Really upset. Just can't get over it. And, you know, a little, she's a party pooper. Stop the festivities. But her prince made fun of her, mocking the fact that she was aching to have something that a mere peasant possessed

because it's totally up to her. And it literally says it was her own fault that she had no children, according to the prince. Oh, my God. I can see why she's a little bitter and a little extra about this. What a cruel thing to say. Yeah, that's totally fucked up. So the princess flew into a rage right then and there and accused the farmer's wife of infidelity,

claiming that a woman could never have more than one child at a time with her husband. What? Uh-huh, yeah. That doesn't make any sense. She's like a mad queen type. Oh, it gets worse. Oh, my God. Just wait.

When do the wolves come in? When the prince returned home, he held a mirror up to the princess's face so that she could see how ugly she looked. And to her horror, she saw in the mirror the head of a shaggy wolf, red-eyed, baring its teeth. Oh! Ooh! Which is awesome. Okay.

It turned out that the princess, without knowing it, was actually pregnant at the time. She gave birth to seven boys in seven days, one after another. She remembered what she had said earlier to the farmer's wife. She gave birth to seven boys in seven days, one after another. She remembered what she had said earlier to the farmer's wife. The prince was not at home, and she decided to send the midwife out to a wolf's lair with the seven boys wrapped up in an apron. Because she is out of her mind. What the fuck?

What is happening? What is happening right now? Well now well i mean oh my god this is this is some greek tragedy nonsense like this is the kind of thing that happens in a shakespeare play it is a very what the fuck fairy tale that's for sure what in the macbeth is happening right now well it happened that the prince was hunting right in that area and he ran into the midwife. What are you doing here, he asked. With seven children. What are you doing

with seven boys? Seven squalling infants. Well, the midwife immediately owned up to her evil intentions and the prince rewarded her by running her through with a sword. He had the boys raised by a loyal subject. Yay.

No actual baby killing. Okay. That's good. I'm glad. I'm glad. 18 years went by. Oh my God. This is a long game.

18 years went by it's so condensed it's so condensed that like the the twists are just they're coming too fast i can't yeah it needs to be a longer story for sure okay so the kids are 18 now go on and the prince was planning a grand feast. Seven boys with long hair, all equally handsome and dressed alike, appeared at the feast. The princess could feel her heart pounding when she set eyes on the boys and she began to tremble. During the meal, the prince jokingly asked how to punish a mother who throws her sons to the wolves. She should dance to death in red, hot iron shoes was the answer. And so the princess condemned herself to that very punishment. The prince acknowledged the boys as his legitimate children, and they became known as the wolves.

The end. Abby's face is so good. She's like rubbing her temples like she can't believe it. Oh my God. face is so good she's like rubbing her temples like she can't believe oh my god um uh um uh i don't really i don't i don't even know what to say that's a lot there's a lot to unpack there wasn't that good wow um yes no that was also not good and just what that is um so many things yes why is it called the? Outside of the fact that like this woman was so crazed that she felt that she was no longer human or that she seemed to no longer be human because she was so. She was so terrified by her own lie.

Yeah. Kind of crazy like wow like i'm like man i wish that i knew more about sort of the psychology of um i don't even know what that would be of of that of that sort of like wild like narcissistic impulse to to scream at someone because they because they're fertile and you're not yeah and and and say such awful things and then be so freaked out by the thing that you said being afraid that your husband would think that that's true even though he clearly doesn't ever believe a word out of your damn mouth so i don't and she also saw a wolf when she looked in the mirror, like she was like hallucinating. Yeah. Yeah. She's hallucinating. There's so much more to that

story. That woman needed help. Like she needed a lot of help. I'm not, you know, I'm not saying that I'm sympathizing with her over much because she did send her children to be thrown to the wolves um but but also like her husband was a heel like he yeah he mocked her for struggling with with some really intense feelings around not being able to have children he mocked her for it told her it was her own fault. And I mean, honestly, he drove her to it. And then she tries to kill all their children. So I'm not saying that she's blameless in this. I want to know more about just like her seeing herself as a wolf in the mirror. It's just very interesting. It was a very mad queen kind of story. That should have been so much longer.

very mad queen kind of story that should have been so much longer. Yeah. Oh my God. I needed, I need a lot. I need it for details. I need information. I also feel,

I'm sorry. I'm really stuck on how kind of like weirdly sad I feel for her, even though she did something awful because at the very end, she was obviously mentally ill. yes, she obviously was really, she was really struggling. And then, and then especially like that because like sometimes women especially women who are sort of traumatized throughout their

pregnancies or through their birth and then not and then not very well supported often like like postpartum depression is a real thing exactly the vibes i'm getting from the story like that that woman needed help and then at the end when he reveals her sons to her like healthy and alive and he says yeah 18 years later he stays with her for 18 years later eight like oh my god what what happened during those 18 years yeah well he obviously still fucking hates her because at the end of that time he's like the only fitting punishment for you is to dance yourself to death wearing like red hot poker shoes or whatever that's what she said he was like what do you think they should do and she was like oh this so she and we've seen that before too in fairy tales where the character makes their own fate

yeah but then she resigns herself to it like like the the story says like she resigns herself to that fate she's like oh well yeah then i guess like i'll i i do have to do that that is how i need to atone well i don't know it's like that's i mean the story didn't get enough context. You were mentally ill. You were struggling with no support. It was a wild one, right? That was wild. That was insane. In like a page and a quarter.

I am like, I've got whiplash. I'm still processing that story. Wow. I'm still processing that story. Wow. The stories in that book are either wild or nothing. There's no in between. And as a reminder, these books are from Franz Xaver von Schoenworth.

Yeah. Civil servant. From Bavaria. So a little dark, very dark. Oh yeah. Look at this on the back. Violent, dark and full of action. Yes.

I just like also that he waited 18 years instead of so many fixes for this story. So many fixes. Yeah, I don't have a specific fix. Just the whole story needs to be fixed. The whole story is terrible. It's interesting, though. I'm'm not like i feel like it would make a great longer story with more context oh yes oh my god like if they made if they made a drama about this like if they if they did like a if they did this story as a limited series you know in in a medieval dark drama kind of way i would eat it up with a spoon. That's what an interesting, really rich story for various actors to sink their teeth into of this princess clearly struggling with depression surrounding her fertility and

then postpartum depression. I feel like I mentioned this in a recent episode, Snow White, A Tale of Terror with Sigourney Weaver. I think that was like our last episode. Yeah, we talked about that in the last episode because it's great. But that's part of like what's happening to the evil stepmother and why she kind of, you know, goes insane

is she has fertility issues. It makes the story just so much darker and adds so much more context to what the mad queen is going through. Yeah. And her obsession with youth and beauty and yeah. I love that she tells this lie because she's just upset to this farmer's wife. Which, again, she believes it herself.

She immediately puts it on herself and it's just totally wild. And it's only like a page and a quarter. Wow. I'm really glad you read that one. Wow. A little bit of a sharp turn from our last one. I wish she had been a werewolf and that that

was why she saw a wolf in the mirror i really got excited for a second i feel like i was like maybe it could be argued but no but man i would love to see that i would love to see even that sequence in a drama of because you know how you know them you know black swan with natalie portman where she's she's kind of hallucinating all of these visions and kind of envisioning herself transforming into an animal. Yeah, yeah. further into her own madness. She just out of the corner of her eye, she just starts seeing this wolf getting closer and closer. Except at the end of the story, she turns on her husband and said, you hid my kids from me for 18 years and then she kills him. Oh, that would be good. What a twist. What a twist. She still has to die because it's a tragedy and everybody needs to die at the end of a tragedy.

Wow. I also just kind of love, I would love to see a little bit of the seven brothers called the wolves. That's kind of badass. Like, I bet that's pretty cool. And they're all handsome with long hair. Yes. Like, they're all strappingpping long-haired princes and they're all basically twins because they were born seven like each one was born seven days yeah okay

yes yes there's seven days what septuplets also having a kid every day for seven days would also probably have a very strong mental and physical impact on your body. Probably. Probably. Yeah. I love that fairy tale. There's so much to unpack and just so little. That was so dense. That was very dense it was i agree um there was wow there's a lot there well good night kids i want the i want the mini series of the brothers adventures too because i bet they had

some great adventures leading up to their reintroduction to the palace. And how did they feel about their mother? Because obviously they had to find out that that was their mother. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. That was a fun one. That was fun. Wow.

Wow. I'm just... I'm going to be thinking about this one for, I think, a few days. So I keep hearing people say like, oh, you keep believing this fairy tale or you want a fairy tale? And I'm like, have you ever read a fairy tale? Has anyone in the history of ever actually read a fairy tale? Because they are so fucked up and just... What? Like even the one that I read at the beginning of this episode like it's it's nice and like fantastical things happen but it's still pretty it's still a pretty messed up story it's she was abuse and trauma trapped in a barrel and her stepmother was she was abandoned by her father and her stepmother was going to burn her alive. Yeah. And her only way out was to marry a stranger,

a rich, handsome stranger, but still. Oh, wow. Fairy tales are so something. People like to tell each other really messed up stories. Horror has been a thing for a long time.

Yep. Fairy tales are going to be the next true crime. Yes. Oh my God. They really are. It's not true crime. It's fake crime. Highly fictional crime. But like you want murder, you want madness want madness you want pathos read a fairy tale because woof woof okay well happy birthday to you yeah i do love horror so that is gonna do it for us thank you so much for listening to fairy taleale Fix. You're welcome and we're sorry. We are a little sorry. And if for some reason you enjoyed that horror, please make sure to hit the subscribe button and leave us a

review on Apple or Stitcher. It really helps us get the word out. Abix can't handle. My poor Abix. If you love the show and you want to support us you can get extra episodes merch books and other cool bonus content like stickers and a thank you note at our patreon by signing up at fairytale fix.cash and if you can also find us on twitter and Instagram at FairytaleFixPod, definitely email us, DM us, let us know what your favorite fairy tale is, your favorite folklore, nursery rhymes, and other cool stuff. We love hearing from you at info at FairytaleFixPod.com. And, wow, I'm sorry.

Hang on. Give me a second. And they all lift. Woo! It just ends with Abby laughing. Nervous giggling. God, what story did he even do? The three mermaids. Yeah.

Cool. And Cecilia, who was super nice, really wonderful, very kind. eventually through this three mermaids affirming her so hard realize that when the prince offers to take her away from all that she just takes him up on it and says no need to ask my stepmother she's cray let's just go and then he goes awesome and then they just leave and i don't know maybe grenizia spends her whole life with a donkey tail but cecilia never gets locked in a barrel anticipating being burned alive and i think that's important that's a good fix yeah and for the sake of abby's mental health the wolves was never written the wolves never happened That story just didn't happen. And they all lived happily ever after. The end. I hope.

The end.