Fairy Tale Fix - 28: Charlie, You Were Drunk

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

It’s spooky season! Abbie starts us off with an Irish account of The Headless Horseman from A Treasury of Irish Fairy and Folk Tales, and Kelsey (completely coincidentally) follows it up with yet another Irish ghost tale, The Nut Eating Ghost, from Jeremiah Curtain’s incredible ethnography, Tales of the Fairies and of the Ghost World.

I'm trying to write down your predictions so I can remember them. And I accidentally wrote down, gives him ghost nuts. Gives him ghost nuts. Why is that funny? Gives the ghost nuts. The thing is, my arms hurt. Why do your arms hurt? Because I overextended myself working out this morning and we were doing these rope climb things at the gym. Like climbing up rope?

Oh, legitimately like climbing up these big thick ropes. I can't do it yet. I missed that part of assassin training school or whatever it was, but I'm practicing the movements and building up the strength you need to be able to do it because it looks really cool. And I'd really like to be able to scale a rope someday because that just seems incredibly badass. That sounds really hard. It is really hard. That makes me think of gym in the 50s, like when you're watching a show or something. Yes. It's usually like, maybe not, like the 70s, like kids in the 70s had to do like the rope climb. Yeah. Or like, or if they were taking like a gymnastics class.

Yeah. Because I never had to do a rope climb. Neither have I until today. Until recently? Until today when I walked into the gym this morning and I saw these giant ropes hanging from the ceiling. I was just looking at them going like, I wonder what they're going to have us do with that. It didn't actually occur to me that they were going to have us climb it until they were showing us. Did they play that Mulan song in the background? Oh my God, they should. They don't. I feel like that would have definitely been very

inspiring. That would be incredibly inspiring. I should suggest that to them. No, today's playlist because they kind of switch genres every time I go. Today's playlist was very much nostalgia, genres every time I go. Today's playlist was very much nostalgia, early 2000s rap and hip hop. That's kind of fun, though. It was exciting. I had a good time. That was also very motivating. And then there was a random Lizzo song that was also popped in there. Amazing. It was great. I definitely feel like there's a lot of good Disney songs to work out, too.

I definitely feel like there's a lot of good Disney songs to work out to. Make a Man Out of You definitely has to be up in the top five, though, of good Disney workout songs because they are working out in the song. That's got to be the top song, right? It's the top song because it is a montage song of people getting stronger. I wonder, because there's also Hercules. They have a montage song of people getting stronger. I wonder, because there's also Hercules, they have a montage song. Zero to Hero. Isn't that Zero to Hero? It's not the montage I was thinking of, but it is a montage. There's more than one montage. I think Hercules has a lot of different montage songs. Wait, hang on. Is it the one where Phil is teaching Hercules how to do his stuff?

But Zero to Hero is way better than that. Zero to Hero is a way better song. But I think it's something similar to I'll Make a Man Out of You. It's along a similar theme. Yeah, it's Danny DeVito singing. That's great. That's also probably got to be a good one. Oh, One Last Hope.

That's the... Yeah. It's the, so you want to be a hero, kid? Well, whoop-de-doo. Yep. That's the... Yeah. It's the So you wanna be a hero, kid? Well, whoop-dee-doo. Yep. That's so fucking good. Do you know if they're gonna do a live-action Hercules? I don't know if they're... Well,

hang on. No, I can't remember if what I saw on TikTok was fancasting or actual announcement stuff. I think it was or or actual announcement stuff I think it was just fan casting and I think it was actually a fan cast like that of someone was trying to cast Lizzo as the shorter fatter muse yeah and Lizzo was duetting the video but someone else came on and was all like stop doing this to Lizzo that like that part isn't even in her vocal range she'd do much better as one of these characters then points out like like you're typecasting her based

on body shape and come on in 2021 no i would love her as one of the muses though i do see like i think she'd nail it but that's probably because of the rumors video. Yes. Because she looks like she's in Hercules. Like she looks like one of the her and Cardi B. I think she and Cardi B like took imagery directly from that movie. Like I think it was a deliberate reference. Oh, that's cute. I think so anyway. I don't know.

It was a great video though. Liz is amazing. I loved that video. I was also really impressed just with Cardi B like just rocking out with her giant baby belly. Like an absolute goddess. And it just, I don't know, it made everything about that video just made me happy. I absolutely loved it. I remember, anyway, Beyonce can also be one of the muses. I feel like Hercules would be one of the more fun movies to remake as a live action. As long as they kept it pretty silly and fun. Yeah. Yeah.

They'd have to keep it like a similar tone. But I'd much rather see a Hercules live action than pretty much any of the ones that they've actually done. Yeah. Same. Or like Atlantis or something more underrated. That would be fun. Yes. That would be extremely cool.

Cause I think that we finally have like technology that could do it. Like movie magic technology that could do it really well. Oh yeah. They can make a live action jungle book with all the animals. That was, I don't know. I liked that one. That one was,

that one was pretty good. I thought. I liked the original live action jungle book with it's it's like a more grown-up jungle book basically where mogli is like a man i know the one you're talking about i also was traumatized by that movie why were you traumatized by it um i don't know because it was so much more grown up so they were it was so much scarier than the cartoon jungle book was uh that it genuinely i just remember a lot of the imagery really freaking me out and that's also the movie where my sister sorry maddie i'm about to i'm about to out you to all of her patrons uh

developed her fear of quicksand okay there's a horrifying quicksand scene in that movie to be fair what child wasn't traumatized by quicksand in that movie and like the princess bride and anything where there's quicksand yeah there's quicksand in a lot of kids movies it's terrifying it's very upsetting okay it's 1994 the jungle book and this movie was you know i haven't seen it in a really long time but I really loved it when I was a kid it has Jason Scott Lee Carrie Elwes which Carrie Elwes has my heart forever and ever

Lena Headey was in this movie? is that crazy? that's crazy and Sam Neill, John Cleese wow so I'm going to have to go back and watch that. I remember really liking it. And it has real animals in it, which I really liked because, you know, like I grew up with like Homeward Bound and I really love the movies with animals, but they don't make their mouths move like they're human.

They just communicate like. They just communicate like animals do, yeah there's like a voiceover yeah like with just a voiceover and i feel like that doesn't look as cheesy i always hated it when they started making their mouths move i thought that was dumb it's like that's that's not how their mouths move it just it just looks like that's necessary yeah yeah no agreed especially but especially in like live action i don't mind it so much in cartoons but oh my god i forgot carrie ell was this in this i love him so much i cannot help but notice though that jason scott lee is the only southeast asian member of this cast uh i mean

surprise surprise surprise surprise for a for a movie made in 1994. I'm surprised there's even one. Yes. You know what? I actually am, I suppose, pleasantly surprised that they didn't just like get a very tan English guy to do it. But wow. Yeah. That movie was terrifying to me.

I love it. Speaking of people who are really hot. So hot. Just the hottest. So hot. Honestly, the hottest people. I would like to go ahead and take this opportunity to thank you, all of our patrons. Supporting this podcast keeps your skin clear.

And I just believe that all of you are the most beautiful people. And I just believe that all of you are the most beautiful people. Speaking of patrons, I would also like to welcome a new member of the team, Caroline. Caroline, welcome. Thank you so much for signing up to support our silly podcast. We love you. We absolutely love you, you beautiful job creating dragon. You are a gorgeous job creating dragon. It's deeply appreciated.

Thanks also to Jordan, Jeremy, Lisa, Madeline, Kaylee, Zach, Kelsey, Dami, Chris, Jen, Julia, Noah, Ricky, Elizabeth, Cynthia, Bill, Angel, and Dustin. You're all so gorgeous with such beautiful clear skin and really shiny hair. And thank you very much. Too hot to handle. We're gonna move on to today's story. Yay, I'm so excited. Lay it on me. Okay, so first of all, I wanted to put in a quick plug for anyone that has not seen The Green Knight yet. I watched that over this weekend. That was actually partially why I picked this story today. It's currently like you have to rent it on Amazon or on YouTube or whatever for 20 bucks. So feel free to wait on it. It's not something you have to watch right now. But it's a retelling of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, which is a really popular part of the kind of Arthur, King Arthur set of romantic poems.

And it's a, it's a really beautiful, odd, eerie, sad film. And it's also just like gorgeously costumed and edited and shot. And Dev Patel has such, such a great face.

I don't know how else to, to describe it, but he's just like, he has his big eyes and such a somber face. And it was just really fun to watch him sort of mope his way across medieval England where a lot of bad things happened to him. And then there was a very confusing ending and it's a, it's very much opened up interpretation about like own personal honor and what you value and whether or not your word is worth anything.

And I don't know. I really appreciate it. I think everybody should watch it. It was beautiful. I have not seen that. And I have never – I hadn't even heard of it. So it's by the same studio who did The Witch. Oh, I love that one.

Yeah. And it's kind of has a similar slow, eerie burn until you get to the climax. But it's a very similar, it's a very similar sort of like eerily thoughtful vibe well i'm stoked to check it out that's also structured like a medieval romantic poem so i i just i just i really enjoyed it and it got me thinking about and this is this is this isn't a spoiler because you can see this in the trailer for the green knight but it got me thinking about headless horseman oh fuck yeah hell yes yes headless and it's almost spooky season so and it's almost spooky season so it's time you know what it is spooky season i'm just gonna do scary stories

from here on until the end of october maybe even into november thank you i was originally inspired to i wanted to do something out of this book of welsh medieval stories that my sister bought for me and i was reading through them and they're super they're super long we would have like it would have to be a four-parter to get through some of them maybe we'll tackle them one day but they also read like a telenovela soap opera uh because it's all it's all family drama but i would also have to like issue several trigger warnings for various things throughout that story and i just wasn't in the mood today so instead we're gonna do some uh irish folk tales oh okay we're just gonna do one i don't know why i said folk tales but you're going to to do an Irish folk tale. Actually, guess what I picked?

What did you pick? I picked an Irish folk tale as well. Excellent. You and I were on the same page and we were picking our stories. So instead of some Welsh medieval soap opera, I'm going to do an Irish spooky story. And it is called The headless horseman. Oh, fuck.

Yes. Awesome. And it's from the section of the book. It's from the section of my Irish. It's from my, a treasury of Irish fairy and folk tales, the Barnes and Noble edition. And it's from a section of the book called the Banshee and the Dullahan.

Oh, and Dullahan is it's basic. section of the book called The Banshee and the Dullahan. Oh, fun. And Dullahan is, it's basic, like, that basically is sort of the Irish name for this type of evil spirit. Mm-hmm. This headless horseman type thing. Usually depicted as a headless rider on a black horse who carries his own head held high in his hand. Fuck yeah. Awesome. horse who carries his own head held high in his hand fuck yeah awesome he is said to be the embodiment of um a certain like celtic god cool who carries his own head in his hand it is pretty

cool the headless horseman fuck yeah okay i'm so excited give me three predictions for the headless horseman okay well my first prediction i love that it's the headless horseman because i'm predicting that there is no horse violence zero horse violence zero horse violence interesting interesting that is that is my hope for this story because it's really starting to bum me out okay no horse violence yeah because i think her last one was doppelganger and that was just legions and legions of horses just that was dying so many dead horses it was fucking so many dead horses i would also like to predict that there is a murder of a person and lastly i would like to guess i guess i don't i don't anything about the headless horseman other than like the ichabod crane story i know that one but

yep which is like which is an american folktale uh nothing to do nothing to do with the irish version except maybe inspired by but not uh yeah no horse violence there is a murder and lastly i predict there is some sort of mythical creature like a fairy or a ghost no all the heads of swarming probably is a ghost huh over here trying to say nothing man i really want pirates in this story too how dope would that be you're just gonna try to squeeze pirates in somewhere i want pirates in one of our fairy tales so badly i mean you can you can predict that there's a ghost i'm fine with that i want to predict that there is a scene in a graveyard a scene in a graveyard okay no horse murder but people murder and there's a scene in the graveyard yes oh buckle up for the headless horseman uh this is a t crofton croaker story

i'm pretty sure t crofton croaker is the one who basically just had a bunch of his friends go collect stories for him and then he stole all the credit and then he got sued but regardless um uh this is this is the story and it starts off as so many of these like very charming irish folk tales do with uh an introduction to a variety of very jolly irish characters an angry landlord that should have been one of my predictions. No angry landlords in this one. I'm glad I didn't predict that then. I'm not even going to try to do an Irish accent because I feel like that'd be weirdly insulting. So I'm just going to read it in my American one. They definitely sound better with an Irish accent. It fits the writing style better, but I can't do a good enough Irish accent to where it wouldn't sound obnoxious. So

Godspeed you and a safe journey this night to you, Charlie. Ejaculated the master of the little she-bean house at Ballyhoolie after his old friend and good customer, Charlie Cullane, who had at length turned his face homewards with the prospect of a dreary ride on a dark night fell upon the Blackwater along whose banks he was about to journey so anyway so charlie is in ballyhoolie and he's supposed to ride home but it's dark and windy and uh he's about to take off and charlie cool name knew the country well and moreover was as bold a rider as any mllow boy that ever rattled a four-year-old upon drumroo race course amazing he's a really good rider yeah he is he had gone to town in the

morning as for the purpose of purchasing some ingredients required for the christmas dinner his wife was making and to gratify his own vanity by having new reins fitted to his snaffle, which is a type of bridle, which he intended to show off on his beautiful old mare at the approaching St. Stephen's Day hunt. He loves that horse. He's feeling fancy. He does love that horse. I actually really like this story. Anyway. It's a twist for us. I know. Like, oh, he likes this horse. And he's a good rider and he's good to horses. Oh, he likes this horse. And he's a good rider and he's good to horses.

So Charlie was not one of your quote unquote, nasty particular sort of fellows in anything that related to common occurrences in life. But in all things connected with hunting, riding, leaping, or whatever would be connected with his old mare, the saddlers in town said that he was the devil to beat. Nice. So he's a really good horseman. Yeah, he's an excellent horseman. The book continues to detail his fastidiousness with his horsemanship because he went quite a distance to actually get this snaffle bridle made. Whatever the saddlers nearest him were not good enough he needed to get something that was just right uh because this town was a full 12

miles from charlie's farm uh that's a long charlie that's a long way it is a long way uh and but apparently he had argued so much with all of the saddlers that lived closer to his farm that no one actually wanted to work with him anymore because he was so particular about it. So all of this is to say that this delay in the arrangement of getting his new snaffle bridle did not allow Charlie Cullane to pay so long a visit as he had at first intended to his old friend and town gossip, Con Buckley. The town gossip. He's the town gossip. So he came to town for a bridle and, well, you know, he decided he might as well stop by and chit chat with his old friend and the town gossip. Con, however, knew the value of time unlike charlie and insisted upon charlie making good use of what time he had to spare so he says i won't bother you waiting for water charlie because i

think you'll have enough of that same before you get home because it's supposed to be a real as my father would say a real frog strangler of a storm i love love you, dad. So drink off your liquor, man. Why waste time with water? They say some more jokes that I don't understand because I think you'd have to be an old timey Irish countryside person to understand them. So moving right along, they basically get super drunk. Nice. More jokes. basically get super drunk nice more jokes uh to be an old irishman drinking in the store i'm just gonna go ahead and i'm just gonna read the paragraph because i just it is just funny and i don't understand any of it okay let's hear it charlie it must be confessed drank success to con and success to the jolly harp of erin with

its head of beauty and its strings of the hair of gold and to their better acquaintance and so on from the bottom of his soul until the bottom of the bottle reminded him that carrick was at the bottom of the hill on the other side of castletown roach and that he had gotten no further on his journey than his gossips at ballyhoolie close to the big gate of convamore all right catching hold of his oil skin hat therefore whilst con buckley went to the cupboard for another bottle of the real stuff he regularly as it is termed bolted from his friend's hospitality darted to the stable tightened his girths and put the old mare into a canter toward home

all right so he So he's... He's mad drunk, but realized that it was getting really late, and he actually hadn't even started toward home, and home is pretty far away. Don't drink and ride, people. Don't drink and ride. Or do, because... Is that how he loses his head?

You'll see. The road from Ballyhoolie to Carrick follows pretty nearly the course of the Blackwater, occasionally diverging from the river and passing through rather wild scenery when contrasted with the beautiful seats that adorn its banks. Charlie cantered gaily regardless of the rain, which as his friend Khan had anticipated fell in torrents. It says the good woman's currents. I'm assuming that that means like he bought currents from a farmer's wife or whatever. I don't know.

But the good woman's currants and raisins were carefully packed between the folds of his yeomanry cloak, which Charlie, who was proud of showing that he belonged to the royal Mallow Light Horse volunteers, always strapped to the saddle before him and took care never to destroy the military effect of by putting it on. Away he went, singing like a thrush sporting belling dancing drinking breaking windows sinking ever raking never thinking live the rakes of mallow that that hiccup is in the text oh that's adorable spending faster than it comes beating and duns dunhallow's true begotten sons live the rakes of Mal. This guy knows how to party.

I'm into it. Yeah, he's so fucking drunk. of his mind, the drenching of the new snaffle rains began to disturb him and then followed a train of more anxious thoughts than even were occasioned by the dreaded defeat of the pride of his long-anticipated turnout on St. Stephen's Day. In an hour of good fellowship, when his heart was warm and his head not overcooled, Charlie had backed the old mare against Mr. Jepson's bay filly Desdemona for a neat hundred, and he now felt some sore misgivings as to the prudence of that match. In a less gay tone, he continued, living short but merry lives, going where the devil drives, keeping, keeping, can't quite remember the song,

and the old mare had at this point reduced her canter to a trot at the bottom of kill comer hill charlie's eye fell on the old walls that belonged in former times to the templars but the silent gloom of the ruin was broken only by the heavy rain which splashed and pattered on the gravestones so dun dun dun point for kelsey yep i'm gonna say that's a point for kelsey he then looked up at the sky to see if there was among the clouds any hopes for mercy on his new snaffle reins and no sooner were his eyes lowered than his attention was arrested by an object so extraordinary as almost led him to doubt the evidence of his senses the head apparently of a white horse with short cropped ears large open nostrils and immense eyes seemed rapidly to follow

him just the head just the head no connection with body legs or rider could possibly be traced and the head advanced ah that's really terrifying i know it's really scary charlie's old mare too was moved at this unnatural sight and snorting violently increased her trot up the hill the head moved forward and passed on charlie pursuing it with an astonished gaze and wondering by what means and for what purpose this detached head thus proceeded through the air. And because he was so focused on that, he did not perceive the corresponding body until he was suddenly started by finding it close at his side. So there was a body. Yeah, well, there is now. He didn't notice it.

Is it detached from the head, though? Yes. Yeah, the head is racing on ahead of Charlie and the old mare. Okay. Charlie turned to examine what was thus so sociably jogging on with him when a most unexampled apparition presented itself to his view. his view. A figure whose height he computed to be at least eight feet was seated on the body and legs of a white horse of full 18 hands and a half high. For those of you who are not pedantic horse girls, that is a very, very tall horse. Yeah, and a tall person. And a very, very tall person on top of a very, very tall horse. In this measurement, Charlie could not be mistaken for his own mare was exactly 15 hands and the body that thus jogged, Charlie could not be mistaken for his own mare was exactly

15 hands. And the body that thus jogged alongside he could at once determine from his practice in horse flesh was at least three hands and a half higher. He's a pedantic horse man. He is a pedantic horse boy. That's funny. He's like, Oh, I know this. Well, it has to be exactly three and a half hands because my horse is exactly 50. Oh, man. Something I love about this story is that this is genuinely like a very it's a very spooky situation. But Charlie is such a good natured dude. And he's kind of drunk. He's not really thinking about it like that it's just it's not that deep for him that's really not so it ends up being kind of a funnier story than like a scary

one anyway after the first feeling of astonishment which found vent in the exclamation of i'm sold now forever was over the attention of char Charlie being a keen sportsman was naturally directed to this extraordinary body and having examined it with the eye of a connoisseur, which that says something about Charlie to me. He proceeded to gather that the figure so unusually mounted who had hitherto remained perfectly mute. You have to say it in an Irish accent for it to make sense. I think it,

I think it makes sense after his astonishment at looking at the horse was over. He then proceeds to actually eyeball the writer who was so far perfectly silenced at his side, wishing to see whether his companion silence proceeded from bad temper, want of conversational powers or from a distaste to water. And the fear that the opening of his mouth might subject him to having it filled by the rain,

which was then drifting and violent gusts around them. Charlie endeavored to catch a side of his companion's face in order to form an opinion on that point. That's so funny. Charlie's sizing this guy up. Like, well, does he just like is he quiet because he's in a bad mood or doesn't like the rain or like something else on his headless horse yeah oh my goodness his vision failed in carrying him further than the top of the collar of the figure's coat, which was a scarlet single-breasted hunting frock, having a waist of a very old-fashioned cut reaching to the saddle with two huge shining buttons at about a yard distance behind. I ought to see farther than this, thought Charlie, although he is mounted on his high horse, like my cousin Darby, who bade bearony constable last week, unless tis Khan's whiskey that has blinded me entirely.

It's very possible. Just blame it on the drink. Yep. However, see farther he could not, and after straining his eyes for a considerable time to no purpose, he exclaimed with pure vexation, By the bridge of Mallow, it is no head at all that he has. Just like his horse. Just like his horse, what? Look again, Charlie Cullane, said a hoarse voice that seemed to proceed from under the right arm

of the figure. Charlie did look again, and now in the proper place where he had clearly saw, under the aforesaid right arm, that head from which the voice had proceeded and such a head no mortal ever saw before. It looked like a large cream cheese hung round with black puddings. No speck of color enlivened the ashy paleness of the depressed features. The skin lay stretched over the unearthly surface, almost like the parchment head of a drum. Ew. Spooky. Two large, fiery eyes,

with a strange and irregular motion, flashed like meteors upon Charlie, and a mouth that reached from either extremity of two ears, which peeped forth from under a profusion of matted locks and lustrous blackness. This head, which the figure had evidently hitherto concealed from Charlie's eyes, now burst upon his view in all its hideousness. Charlie, although allowed a proverbial courage in the county cork,

yet could not but feel his nerves a little shaken by this unexpected visit from the headless horseman. Just a little. He's just a little uncomfortable with this situation. It's not his usual wheelhouse. But as you will see, Charlie attempts to make it his usual wheelhouse anyway. Charlie seems just like he's just going with the flow. He's really chill. He's just like, you know know i've had some whiskey i'm feeling good whiskey and also maybe just irish maybe just irish people are just better suited to encounters with fairy

creatures they're expecting it maybe just sort of in the back of their mind he was a little shaken by this unexpected visit from the headless horseman whom he considered this figure doubtless must be the cropped eared head of the gigantic horse moves steadily forward always keeping six to eight yards ahead of them and the horseman unaided by whip or spur and disdaining the use of stirrups which dangled uselessly from the saddle followed at a trot by charlie's side his hideous head now lost behind the lapels of his coat now starting forth in all its horror as the motion of the horse caused his arm to move to and fro i really love that it's not just the headless

horseman but it's the headless horse it's the headless horseman on a headless horse but like you can see the head of the horse too like the horse is just it's it's just like scouting a head with just its head. They both have heads. They're just not attached to the body part. Yeah. That's cute. It's like they wanted to match. I know.

It's really charming, I guess. I love that Charlie's just like, oh, this must be the Headless Horseman. Okay, well. Yeah, he's like, oh, this must be the Headless Horseman. Mm-hmm. Yep, know all about that guy so he's the head is swaying to and fro as they gallop along and the ground shakes under the weight of this supernatural creature and the water in the pools beside them were agitated into waves as they trotted by and on they went heads with bodies and bodies without heads.

The deadly silence of night was broken only by the fearful clattering of hooves and the distant sound of thunder, which rumbled along the mystic hill. Charlie, who was naturally a merry-hearted and rather talkative fellow, had hitherto felt tongue-tied by apprehension, but finding his companion

showed no evil disposition toward him and having become somewhat more reconciled to the Patagonian dimensions of the horseman and his headless steed, plucked up his courage and thus addressed the stranger. I love this guy. I know, I love Charlie. Why then, your honor rides mighty well without the stirrups. Hmm, growled the head from under the horseman's right arm. Tis not an over civil answer thought Charlie,

but no matter. He was taught in one of them riding houses maybe, and thinks nothing at all about bumping his leather breeches at this rate of 10 miles an hour. I'll try him on the other tech. Said Charlie, clearing his throat and feeling at the same time rather daunted at the second attempt to establish a conversation. I'm going to keep going for it.

I'm going to keep going for it. It's too awkward to ride along in silence. I have to make this headless man talk to me. I mean, I agree. And who wouldn't want to be friends with the headless horseman? Exactly. Charlie's a wise and merry hearted fellow and i bet he's got some great stories that's a mighty neat coat of your honors although tis a little long in the waist for the present cut growled again the head the second hump was a terrible thump in the face to poor charlie who was fairly bothered to know what subject he could start that would prove more agreeable. "'Tis a sensible head," thought Charlie, although an ugly one, for tis plain enough this man does not like flattery. A third attempt, however, Charlie was determined to make, and having failed in his observations as to the riding and the coat of his fellow traveler, thought he would just drop a trifling allusion to

the wonderful headless horse that was jogging along so sociably beside his old mare. And as Charlie was considered about Carrick to be very knowing in horses, besides being a full private in the Royal Mallet Light Horse Volunteers, which were every one of them mounted like real Hessians, he felt rather sanguine as to the result of his third attempt. This is just so incredibly charming and polite in such an Irish countryside sort of way. I would love to see this as a movie. I'm just imagining Charlie just being like, so. So. You got a headless horse. What's that like? Like just. That like, like just. To be sure, that's a brave horse your honor rides, recommended the persevering Charlie. See you, Charlie. I know.

You may say that with your own ugly mouth, growled the head. Rude. Right? That's fucking rude. Ugly mouth. Charlie, though not much flattered by the compliment, nevertheless chuckled at his success at obtaining an answer and thus continued. He's fine with it. He's like, yes. Yeah, he's talking. Maybe your honor would be so inclined to have a friendly race with me across the country.

Oh. Will you try me, Charlie, said the head with an inexpressible look of ghastly delight. Now you're talking. Yeah, like, now I'm into it. Faith, and that's what I do, responded Charlie. Only I'm afraid of the night being so dark of laming my old mare,

and I have every half penny of a hundred pounds on her heels. That was true enough. Charlie's courage was nothing dashed at the headless horseman's proposal, and there never was a steeplechase nor a foxchase riding or leaping that Charlie Culnane was not the foremost at it. Will you take my word, said the man who carried his head so snugly under his right arm for the safety of your mare done said charlie and away they started helter-skelter over everything ditch and wall pop pop the old mare never went in such style even in broad daylight and charlie had just the start on his companion when the horse voice called out charlie clane charlie man stop for your life stop

the horse charlie pulled up hard hmm wait who said that the horse the horseman the horseman okay charlie pulled up hard i said he you may beat me by the head because it always goes so much before you but if the bet was neck and neck, I'd win it hollow. I feel like that's fair. That makes sense to me. So appears the stranger agrees. It appeared as if the stranger was well aware of what was passing in Charlie's mind for he suddenly broke out quite loquacious. Charlie Cullane says he,

you have a stout soul in you and are every inch of you a good writer. I've tried you and I ought to know that that's the sort of man for my money. A hundred years it is since my horse and I broke our necks at the bottom of Killcomer Hill. And ever since I've been trying to get a man that dared ride with me and never found one before. Keep as you have always done at the Trail of the Hounds. Never balk a ditch nor turn away from a stone wall. And the headless horseman will never desert you nor the old bear charlie in amazement looked toward the stranger's right arm for the purpose of seeing his face whether or not he was in earnest but behold

the head was snugly lodged in the huge pocket of the horseman's scarlet hunting coat the horse's head had ascended perpendicularly above them, and his extraordinary companion, rising quickly after his avant courier, vanished from the astonished gaze of Charlie Culnane. Charlie, as may be supposed, was lost in wonder, delight, and perplexity. The pelting rain hit the wife's pudding, the new snaffle, even the match against Squire Jepson, all were forgotten. Nothing he could think of, nothing he could talk of forevermore, but the headless horseman. He told it directly that he got home to his wife, Judy. He told it the following morning to all the neighbors, and he told it to the entire hunt on St. Stephen's Day. But what provoked him after all the pains he took in describing the head, the horse, and the man was that one and all attributed the creation of the Headless Horseman to his friend Con Buckley's whiskey.

This, however, should be told that Charlie's old mare beat Mr. Jepson's Bay filly Desdemona by diamond and Charlie pocketed his cool hundred. And if he didn't win by means of the Headless Horseman, I'm sure I don't know any other reason for his doing so. The end. Well, of course, he told everyone. That's the greatest story anyone's probably ever heard. Yeah. But none of them believed him because they were like, Charlie, you were drunk. Yep. Even his own wife doesn't believe him. She's like, come on, Judy. I love that she has a name, by the way. Me too. That's what I like about these Irish fairy tales.

They always give everyone a name. Yep. Everyone's got a name because it's always, like, a story that it sounds like. It's like, oh, yeah, I've heard of the Headless Horseman. Why, just the, like, you know, my old friend Charlie Culnane saw him riding down the fucking highway the other day. Oh, I like that we got the backstory, too, that they both, that he fell on his horse and they both broke their necks. Yeah, that you get why the headless horseman is there. But why

are you totally headless if you just broke your neck? Did your head like come clean off? Whatever. I do love that it's like they're twinsies. Him and his horse both lost their heads. I know that they both broke their necks and so therefore like don't have their heads anymore god does that count as horse violence um no because they didn't

it happened prior to the story that's what i went it's also like it wasn't on purpose it wasn't like a violent act against a horse it was an accident it sounds exactly so it's not it's not it's not a horse murder which i think is what you meant by horse violence definitely um yeah no but and then they just take on that particular form of that particular kind of uh fairy creature that's so much fun yeah i'm glad you enjoyed it it's it was kind of a slog to get through and it's a bit goofy to read but i like that it's sort of structured as sort of a funny story. And I also love the character of Charlie. I love him so much that he's just a really merry-hearted, good-natured, talkative sort of guy.

And so even though he has like the scariest writing companion ever, it's still like, that's a nice coat. Yep. Just trying to make some conversation any way. Yep. Just trying to make some conversation any way he can. Just trying to get some small talk in there. Good old Charlie. Yeah. And then he's blessed for it at the end, which I think is really cool. Absolutely. Yay. Yay, Charlie. I hadn't read it aloud before. I read it just reading it. Yes, for sure. When I was picking out the story. So a lot of that stuff, your brain just skips over. Reading it aloud was a trip. So sorry, Dustin. That was a lot of start and stopping. like when it really is easier to read in an Irish accent, like in your head too,

because it just makes more sense. Because the way they say things are not the way English speakers speak at all. The syntax is all different. The grammar is a bit different. It's just no fixes. I don't think either outside of like, I don't know, I find this simultaneously charming and something that I could do without is all of the backstory about why he was in this particular town and why he needed this particular kind of rain. And now he's been arguing with the Saddlers and going shopping for Christmas pudding. Yeah, that's cute. It was very cute, but also I think that was also too much of the story. I'm going to talk about this a little bit because there's... So the book I chose is from someone who lived in Ireland, and he basically did

an ethnography of the Irishman that he was hanging out with, that he was staying with. And it's really interesting because they talk about that a little bit. They talk about how these old Irishmen just know... They have a name for absolutely every location and person. And they just go into these details like a ton. I think that's just a normal kind of storytelling tradition. And then especially like, yeah, like in these Irish stories I've been noticing is that you get a lot of detail on like every hill has a name. Every like section of the path has like has a name. They know everybody's business. They know everybody's neighbors. And then they go and they gossip about it at the pub later. I love it. If you are wanting

more Halloween lore, legends or spooky ghost stories in your life, like the one you're listening to today, then look no further hi everyone my name is kimmy and i'm here with my co-host ryan hey guys we're the host of the podcast alluring and we're currently hosting an alluring halloween so we went ahead and collaborated with some of our favorite podcasts to create a special playlist with a collection of halloween lore legends and ghost stories just for you and throughout the month of october we will be adding episodes to get you all in the spooky season mood. Think of it as your go-to Halloween podcast playlist.

You can listen to it today by going to Spotify and searching Alluring Halloween. That's A-L-O-R-E-I-N-G. Or simply go to our website, Alluring.com, and we'll have a direct link there. So go check it out and enjoy the collection of spooky Halloween lore and legends and ghost stories today. That was really fun. I enjoyed that very much. Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

Happy heading into spooky season. Woohoo! More ghost stories. Mm-hmm. Well, Abby, I'm really excited because we are on the same wavelength. I also chose an Irish ghost story. Yes! Amazing. Okay. We didn't plan this. I promise.

We're just the same person. That's all. We're just in the same mood. It's that same – and it had been a while since we've done an Irish story, I think. Yeah. That is kind of it as I was looking at all of my books and going, which book haven't I cracked open in a minute? Right? It's been a hot minute. I don't have any Irish folktale books. So I actually just went online and found Pittsburgh University had a ton of Irish fairy tale books listed. For free? Yeah, for free.

That's so cool. Yeah, you can just read all these books by clicking on them. Folklore, Folktales, and Fairy Tales from Ireland. And it's a digital library, so there's just a ton of cool stuff on there. So yeah, I will put that in our show notes. And I kind of just chose at random. I chose the book called Tales of the Fairies and of the Ghost World Collected from Oral Tradition in Southwest Munster. Okay.

By Jeremiah Curtin in 1895. And the whole book is really cool. It's almost like a diary. And he basically kind of goes through and talks about how he is, you know, the person that he's staying with in Ireland and the people that he meets that are telling him these stories. And then he'll retell the story and then kind of talk about their conversations in between. Oh, nice. Yeah. So it's really cool. You can actually, these are stories from the area, from the people,

and they're supposedly like first or secondhand accounts. So. I am so excited about this. Okay. Yeah. So a little backstory. So you also get some context on like the stories themselves if you're actually like getting a little bit of their conversations in between. Yeah. So it's like, oh, you know, this place called Drummond Castle that's nearby. Does anyone have any – he like says in the book, like, does anyone have any stories about that? And then someone will speak up and tell him a story and then he'll write it out.

So it's really cool isn't um 1895 so jeremiah curtain is well known for collecting stories of gaelic lore and legends and many of the stories he collected were directly from the people who still believed in fairies and ghosts yes so i am so excited is jeremiah is like who is Jeremiah Curtin like American, like Englishman, Irishman? So Jeremiah Curtin is an American ethnographer, folklorist and translator. Sorry. Sorry. He was employed by the Bureau of American Ethnology as a field researcher documenting the customs and mythologies of various Native American tribes.

Well, I just pulled up his Wikipedia page, by the way. Gotcha. In 1895-ish, he was living in Ireland with a man named Maurice Fitzgerald, who was a farmer. So Maurice Fitzgerald spoke better Gaelic than he did English. And he also owned a country store and kept the road in repair and was just kind of a generally active person in that area. So Jeremiah stayed with him. He had an intimate relationship with some of the oldest inhabitants of the area. So he knew the Gaelic name of every hill, cliff, and mountain for many a mile. So Jeremiah notes that in the Gaelic speaking parts of Ireland, there is a

really complete system of naming every spot that needs to be distinguished from those around it, which you can definitely like tell reading Irish fairy tales. Yes, absolutely. Like the one that I just read was just full of, of names for various places. Yeah. Every hill, every path, everything has a name.

So what's really cool is Jeremiah's host, Maurice Fitzgerald believed in fairies and told him that when he was a young boy, nine and 10 men believed in fairies. And now only one in 10 men believes in fairies, but the one who does believe won't admit it out loud. Uh-huh. Aw. So in this book, it's really cool.

Jeremiah talks about how many people in the area still had like pre-Christian beliefs and how important and valuable he thought it was. Because at the time, it was like really looked down upon, which is why a lot of people don't believe or, you know, wouldn't admit to believing in fairies or ghosts. In fact, one of the people he interviews in this book talks about how some people believe that fairies are like, they start to believe that they're fallen angels. So kind of merging the two beliefs together. Which is definitely what happens in a lot of regions where like a new majority religion comes in. I love this quote from the book. I'm just going to read it. It's straight from Jeremiah. Other nations have preserved large and for science, precious heritages of superstition, but generally they have preserved them in kind of a mechanical way. The resident of beliefs,

which they give us lack that connection with the present, which is so striking in the case of the Irish. So basically, I think he really enjoyed being in Ireland and just kind of seeing how different it was. Of like people who were still actively practicing a different belief system. Yep. That's really cool. So I have one more story before I actually start my story. So this book is so cool. Like I said, I'll put it in the show notes, but it just has like a ton of really interesting stories directly from the people who live in that area. So they believed in fairies so much that in one instance, Jeremiah actually attended the

funeral of a man who had died from a fairy stroke a few days before. So there he met two other men who had been injured by similar strokes. And one was a farmer's son who had fallen asleep while near a fairy fort, like a well-known fairy fort. And he was made a cripple for life just by falling asleep there. And they attributed it to the fairies. And another was a man who had interfered with the fairy fort and injured his hand. And the man was only 33. And after he had meddled with the fort, his hand began to swell and got really painful and doctors couldn't help him. And so they considered that like a fairy stroke and he died from it.

Oh, ooh. Okay. So I just thought that was really interesting. It's just an ethnography. It's really cool. I love those kind of books. And yeah, you should definitely check it out. I definitely want to check out this one. I also really like the title of it.

And I'm so excited because the person who told the story I'm about to tell, he gives a little interview with him, just a short thing. So his name is Diermad Duvein, and he's one of came, that knew the host of Jeremiah and came to tell a story. And he was about 40 years old and he was from the area. And he had actually been in America for a while and had lost his eyesight being blown up by a group of Italian gang members in Massachusetts. What the fuck? Yeah. Okay.

Fucking wildlife. And after that that he moved back home he found a wife and began farming potatoes great just crazy story i love it we kind of have this firsthand account yeah i'm so excited for this like lay it on me tell me and i just i just picked a short one it is called tom daly and the Nut-Eating Ghost. Oh, my God. How many predictions do I get? Three. You can have three for sure.

Tom Daley and the Nut-Eating Ghost? Mm-hmm. I know. Isn't that a great name? It's a fabulous name. Okay. Tom Daley is the local town gossip. Okay.

And he, he invites a haunting upon himself by being a gossip. Okay. Cause I remember, I'm remembering reading somewhere that like the fairies don't like it when you talk about them. He gets haunted because he's being such a gossip and he gets the ghost to go away by giving him nuts. Oh, nice. I like that. These are my predictions.

I've tried to predict the whole story. Gives him ghost nuts. As a peace offering to get him to leave, to get him to go away. Okay. These are my predictions. I love these predictions before we start i also really liked this one quote from the book ghosts in our sense of the word is a rare and unimportant visitor in early gaelic legend which troubles itself very slightly with man after death and has practically nothing to say concerning his influence for good

or evil upon the living so basically the stories are are pre-Christian, but they are historically and culturally significant. Ooh, okay. All right. Fun. Which I agree. Tom Daley and the Nut-Eating Ghost. Tom Daley lived between Kenmar and Sniem. It's like Sniem. I don't know how you say it. Sure. But nearer to Kenmar and had an only son who was also called Tom after his father. And when the son was 18 years old, Tom Daly died, leaving a widow and his son. The wife was paralyzed two years before her husband's death and could rise out of the bed only as she was taken out.

But as the fire was near the bed, she could push a piece of turf into it if the Turk was left at hand. So basically she was bedridden. So she doesn't leave bed a lot. She's not doing well. So Tom Daly, while alive, was employed by a gentleman living at Drummond Castle. His son, young Tom, took his father's place

and looked on his godfather as he would on his own father. For his father and godfather had been great friends, and young Tom's mother was as fond as the godfather had been great friends and young tom's mother was as fond as the godfather as she was her own husband oh all right okay you could love more than one person i love that it's just like introducing all of these people yep so just get the dramatist persona four years after tom daly died the godfather followed him he was very fond of chestnuts and before he died he asked his friends to put a big wooden dish of them in his coffin so he might come

at the nuts in the next world which was a pretty common gaelic belief apparently yeah they carried out the man's wishes and the godfather was buried and the bedridden widow mourned for him as much as she did her own husband young tom continued to work for the gentleman at Drummond Castle in the winter, was often late in the evening before he could come home. There was a shortcut from the gentleman's place through a grove and past the graveyard. Yes. Nice. I'm very excited. Spooky. Spooky. Young Tom was going home one winter night and the moon was shining very brightly. While passing the graveyard, he saw a man on a big tomb that was in it and he was cracking nuts. Young Tom saw that it was on his godfather's tomb.

And when he remembered the nuts that were buried with him, he believed in one minute that it was his godfather who was before him. Oh, hey. Well, that's not that wasn't his reaction. So he was greatly in dread and he ran as fast as his legs could carry him. And when he reached home, he was out of breath and panting. Oh, okay.

For some reason I thought, like, I don't know. I guess that would be scary. But he's just like, it's his godfather chilling and cracking nuts exactly what he said he wanted to be doing after he died. I mean, it really freaked him out, though.

Yeah, fair enough. That's fair. That's fine. What is on you and to be choking for breath, asked his mother. Sure, when I saw my godfather sitting on his tomb, eating the nuts that were buried with him, said young Tom. Bad luck to you, said the mother. Don't be lying the dead, for it is a great sin to tell one lie on the dead as 10

on the living which i've never heard interesting i like that saying okay tom and his mother argue for a little bit and tom promises her that it was his godfather he saw in the graveyard bring me to him for the mercy of god till i asked him about your own father in the other world i'll not do that, said Tom. What a strange thing it would be to bring you to the dead. And basically, Tom's mother is really worried about her late husband's soul and wants to ask the godfather if he's suffering and if they can relieve him with masses. So basically, she wants to see if she can go to church and save his soul. Pray for him. Yeah. Why does she think he might not be in good shape? I don't know.

It doesn't really go into that. She's just really worried about him. Gotcha. Okay. That's fair. So Tom agreed at last. And as the mother was a cripple, all he could do is put a sheet around her

and take her on his back. Then he went toward the graveyard. Unbeknownst to Tom and his mother, there was a great thief living not far from Kenmar and came that night toward the estate over the gentleman where Tom was working. The gentleman had a couple of hundred fat sheep that were grazing, and the thief had made up his mind to steal one. Oh, a sheep thief. A sheep thief. The worst kind of thief. The worst. He sent an apprentice boy to catch one and said that he'd keep watch on top of the tomb.

A thief apprentice. Yeah, I know. A sheep thief's apprentice. I know. Isn't that random? Yeah, I like it. So he's keeping watch on top of the tomb. Mm-hmm. And as the thief had some nuts in his pocket, the thief began to crack them.

And as the thief had some nuts in his pocket, the thief began to crack them. The boy went for the sheep. But before he came back, the thief saw Tom Daly with his mother on his back, thinking that it was the apprentice with the sheep. And he called out, is she fat? Tom Daly, thinking it was the ghost, asking about the mother, dropped her and said, big or then she is and heavy. Away with him then as fast as his legs could carry him, leaving the poor mother behind. So he thinks it's the ghost, fucking books it, ditches his mom, and she, forgetting her husband and thinking of the ghost would kill and eat her,

jumped up and ran home like a deer. And there she was as soon as her son. Okay. home like a deer and there was and there she was as soon as her son okay god spare you mother how could you come cried tom and be here as soon as myself sure i moved like a blast of march wind said the old woman tis the luckiest ride i had in my life for out of the fright the good lord gave me my legs again the end what end. What? That's the whole story. That's the whole story. I love it. What's great is in the book, they all start arguing that there was neither a fairy nor a ghost in that story. Like the people that were telling the story, I'm just like, like oh why'd you tell him that story that story sucks that's great because there was barely a ghost in that story it was like young tom thought he saw his godfather cracking nuts but really the rest of it is like there's

apparently a sheep thief and an apprentice sheep about yep like scared good health back into his mom just a cute little cute little folktale that was very cute i liked that that was so cute oh my gosh that like very charming i love these stories i love the irish folktales they're really great yeah oh yes they're like they are they are perfect little folktales. Yeah. I feel like I had way more like preface to that than I did actual story, but. But I enjoyed the preface. I like the context of the book and I'm excited to kind of, I'm excited to check that book out. You're going to link it in the show notes. Yes. Yes, definitely. Yeah. And definitely read through it. It's really fun. And the stories

are really great. I read through a lot of them, actually, because it was fun. Any fixes for that story? Oh, gosh, I don't think so. I really liked it. I thought it was just kind of it's just a fun little like folksy story. Yeah, it doesn't need to be anything else. It's already pretty perfect. I was cracking up at the man thinking that that was his apprentice carrying the sheep. And I just love that Tom Daley just drops his mom and runs off. Just drops his mom and books it.

That's so funny. Well, I mean, he was even expecting to see the ghost, so I don't know why he like... So cute. It's such a Scooby-Doo moment. Yes, exactly. Especially since his mom beats him home.

Very much ado about nothing. And you got no points. Nope, no points for me. But that was definitely a very different kind of story. But I thought it was funny nonetheless. Yeah, that was so sweet. I like that a lot. So that's going to do it for us today.

Thank you so much for listening to Fairytale Fix. If you enjoy the show, please subscribe and leave us a review on Apple or Stitcher or anywhere they will allow you to leave a review. It really helps people find us. If you want to support us in other ways, you can get extra episodes, merch, books, other bonus content at our Patreon by signing up at fairytalefix.cash for about what you'd pay for a latte a month. You can find us on Twitter and Instagram at

fairytalefixpod. As always, please email us your favorite fairy tales, folklore, nursery rhymes, whatever else comes to mind at info at fairytalefixpod.com. I don't think either of us had a fix for our stories they were just extremely charming folksy uh irish stories with some ghosts in them which what more do you want

there's nothing to fix there and so they all lived happily ever after the end