Fairy Tale Fix - 30: Hells Yes Girl’s Night

Episode Date: November 9, 2021

It’s time for a blind reading! Abbie & Kelsey let the fates decide two randomly chosen fairy tales for some genuine, organic reactions. Abbie reads the terrifying tale of Lu-bo-bo, a hungry beast out for teenage blood (at least we wish), while Kelsey reads the classic Little Brother and Little Sister, and are once again disappointed by creepy old kings preying on young maidens in the forest.

That's my chicken! Because now all I can see is a penis with wings! Dustin, you have to cut all this out! It's a bones day today. It's a bones day, and that's something to feel good about. It's a bones day today. It's a bones day, and that's something to feel good about. That's just something encouraging that we can all know about, and we can treat ourselves to a day of doing work that we love on special projects, treating ourselves to that glass of wine that I wanted. That second pumpkin beer that I'm enjoying. That second pumpkin beer that Gail's been enjoying.

That is 7%. I'm feeling pretty great. And if you don't know what a bones day is, you should definitely go look that up because it's adorable. It is adorable. And sometimes you have a no bones day. And no bones days are also great. They're a day for not getting out of bed and wearing soft pants and just in general, being very gentle with yourself. So those days are also very important. I really love it. I love TikTok so much. It's kind of a problem. I didn't think I would like TikTok and I am obsessed. People are just so creative and so funny and so inspiring.

It's a huge problem. I spend entirely too much time on TikTok as it's designed. Yeah, I didn't think that I was going to like it. I actually judged people that were really into TikTok for a while. I did too. Then I surrendered and... Stupid. It's the best.

How stupid were we? Because TikTok is hilarious. I've actually learned a lot from TikTok. I'm still partly on activist TikTok. Nice. And I just feel like TikTok is where I get all of my hottest takes. And TikTok has thoroughly radicalized me in a way that I hadn't been before. And also, there are cute men with adorable dogs. Oh, yes. And we discover whether or not it's a bones day.

TikTok is a wonderful place. It is. You know, we actually have a TikTok. We do. Yep. We just post some of the highlights from our show. We haven't done any super creative ones yet. I feel like I'm so impressed with TikTok creators

because, you know, I have thought I could do a TikTok. I could do something with this. And I tried once and I was like, this is way too much effort. It's so much work. It's a lot of work. And it's also really, it feels very intense. I've made exactly two TikToks, I think, where my face is showing at all. And it's just really intense to kind of be out there by yourself making little videos. So if you do want to follow us on TikTok, we are at fairytalefixpod. Like most of our other socials, I don't post anything personally. Goodness, what a time to be alive. Anyway, what's new with you? There's a lot new with me that I probably can't talk about yet or ever. Professionally speaking, but you know, as for what's personally new with me,

we are recording this the weekend before Halloween. And you and I talked about this a little bit, but I wanted to, I wanted to bring her, I wanted to bring the listeners in, but I'm doing a watch this week of all of my favorite horror films and all of my favorite Kelsey and I have different taste in horror. I tend to be much more of a monster movie person. I like slashers and just kill all of the teens. Just kill those sexy teens. Every sexy teen.

So if you like slashers, you know, I'm sure Kelsey has some good recs for you. But I'm planning on what I'm going to rewatch the entire Alien series because. Nice. I love it. And I mean, like the classic ones. I liked the prequel films, but I just don't – they just don't give me the same feels. I just don't get the same itch to rewatch Prometheus. Okay.

Okay. It was fine. I liked it fine. It was fine. But it just doesn't give me the same feel goods as watching that alien chestburster. I think you might enjoy it. It's got to be Netflix or Hulu. It's one of those.

But it is like a new retelling of Are You Afraid of the Dark? Did you watch those as a kid? I didn't watch any TV as a kid. Abby missed like the entire like 90s childhood, which is very sad. Culturally, I was born in 1990. But I don't think I was a part of the culture until like 2002 maybe 12 was when my parents started letting me pick my own movies abby was like a theater kid millennial so i feel like ask me about any music yeah any musical at all and i guarantee you i know it very well but are you

afraid of the dark did a like kind of a newer thing where they made it more like a mini series and i really liked it i heard it did really poorly so i hadn't been interested in watching it and i saw it i think on netflix or hulu and I watched it and I really liked it. I thought they did such a good job. They made it like different enough, but it was still kind of the same idea where kids get together as like the midnight society and tell each other scary stories. I thought it was really cute. It was very much like, um, like that goosebumps movie with Jack Black. So I don't know if I saw that either, but I do with Jack Black. I don't know if I saw that either, but I do love Jack Black.

It was cheesy and adorable. I thought the whole idea was really fun. So I would highly recommend watching that. I know this is going to come out after Halloween, but if you're anything like me, at least, Halloween is still on my brain. Absolutely. I think the entire autumn is spooky season it's just it's the right time to be watching stuff that's creepy because it's the nights are getting longer it's getting colder and just there's just a general sense that like the the world is going to sleep and the leaves are rotting on the ground. And there's just a lot of like, there's just a lot of death in the air all around. And it's just the right time.

Does anyone else get that after a holiday like Halloween or even, you know, Christmas? Like the day after or the few days, like maybe like a couple of weeks after the holiday, I'm still kind of like, I've got a Halloween hangover. No, I pace myself. Yeah. I pace myself on the Halloween. I can – I mean, like, it's still Halloween in my brain after Halloween. Oh, because hangover to me means that, like, you indulge too much in a thing and now you're

sick of it. Maybe that was the wrong term, but, like, a holiday, like I miss it and I'm still kind of wanting to be in that season. So I pretend like it's still that season. Yeah. No, I definitely get that feeling with Halloween. I get if we're talking like holiday hangovers, I'm much more I'm much more get that with the winter holidays.

By the time I hit New Year's Eve, I am hung over on winter celebrations. I'm a little sick of it. Over the solstice? Yeah, I'm over the solstice. I'm over the Christmas stuff. I don't even really want to do New Year's Eve, but it's the last one. And so I'm trucking through it. We've talked about this before, but New year's eve is my favorite winter holiday um but but but usually so much else has been packed into the october to december corridor of time that i'm just so tired you know i didn't know that new year's eve was your favorite holiday did you not?

No, you might have mentioned it, but that is not information that I have retained in my brain. That's very interesting. Yeah, New Year's Eve is my favorite holiday. I love it. I love holidays that are about things that are coming to an end and renewals that you're making for the future. Thinking about the time that's passed, but also thinking about the year ahead and what you want. Also, anything with a lot of champagne and glittery outfits and staying up late. And also, I like New Year's Eve because it's one of

the few holidays that isn't family-centric or doesn't have to be. Yeah. I mean, I love my family and I love spending time with them, but I know that many, that many people don't or have very complicated relationships with their families. So I like that New Year's Eve is, is the one, it's the one holiday that I feel really focuses on spending time with all of your loved ones, with your, with your whole community, whatever that community might be. Very cool. I love that. I like it anyway.

I like New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve is a good time. Or at least I feel like I didn't know that. Sorry. I don't know if I've mentioned it before. I honestly can't remember either, but I just love that. We're still learning things about each other after all this time.

We've been friends since we were 13 and we're still learning stuff about each other. Yeah. I like New Year's Eve a little, but at that point I am also a little hungover from partying and socialization. And I do like champagne and glittery outfits, but I do not like the cold. glittery outfits but i don't i do not like the cold and it's always like you have to if you want to wear something like glittery and cute you have to be out in the fucking cold and everybody around you's super drunk and it's a mixed bag for sure oh i almost kind of like that feeling though of you get you get bundled up in like a nice big coat over your

glittery dress with your tights and your tall boots. It only works if the places you're going are either not far from your house or not far from where you've parked or you're getting an Uber there. But I almost kind of like that like rushing through the the cold to get inside where it's warm and people are happy and people are celebrating uh all of the things that are going to be coming up for them or all of the things that passed for them this year and I just I don't know yeah I like it and I like that we all watch that big stupid glittery ball drop and we all count at the exact same time like we're still like tiny children but we're all very drunk adults and i i just it's just oh that's my vibe i like it but you but i agree with you that usually usually it takes me a minute to get into it because i'm so tired like socially and

emotionally from everything else winter holidays there's a lot going on i'm excited for it but also this point it's still very early. Like Abby said, we're recording this before Halloween, even. Before Halloween. But yeah. I am excited, though. I'm very much in a monster mood.

I'm in a monster movie mood. And I'm also in, I'm still in the mood for monster stories. So I know it's November now when this comes out, but I'm doing either a monster story or a witch story today. Yeah. And we are doing something really new for the podcast.

Not super new. We have done a couple of these for our Patreon episodes for our bonus odes, if you will, but we're going to do a blind reading, which is where we randomly pick a fairy tale that we have never read. And we discover it together. And so far, we've done it twice. And it has been our favorite episodes. They've been really fun. And we've discovered some of our favorite stories this way. Uh-huh. Because they're usually a story with a really

boring title that we never would have picked. Like, I think our favorite story so far has been John and His Brothers. So good. Never would have picked it in a million years. Amazing story. Just one of the best.

Such a good story. In that same episode, we also discovered one of the worst fairy tales I've ever heard. Roland. Roland. Whom I hate.

Because why is the story called Roland? He was the worst. He's not even the main character. He doesn't do anything. Have you read Roland? Because it is the worst fairy tale, in my opinion. It has so much potential to be great. It started off so strong and just failed me in every way i'm so mad about it in every possible way honestly i'm just mad at roland why was it even called roland because of the patriarchy it was called roland because of the patriarchy meanwhile the protagonist who does everything is just referred to as the maiden. The maiden. Oh, and she was so cool.

She was a witch's daughter and she was a badass and she deserves so much better than Roland. Anyway. But they named the, they named, but they named the story

after her good for nothing boyfriend who does nothing the entire, anyway. Anyway. We could go on. We,

and we have gone on. This is our, this is our 15th conversation about why Roland is such a terrible story. Never get over it. But anyway, so I'm excited. I'm so excited to do a blind reading today. Me too.

Let's, let's do it. Okay. So I've got two Ruth Manning Sanders books here donated by the wonderful chris otto thank you again chris for just being the best yeah thank you so much and definitely make sure to check out these books we always link them in our show notes uh mab media is now producing some of the old ruth manning sanders books and they are just so great. Could not recommend them more. Nope.

Okay. And I, uh, there are roughly, I was wrong at the, at the top of the episode. There are roughly 20 episodes, 20 stories that I might read.

So I'm going to roll a D 20. Okay. See what we come up with here. Four. So it was going to be one through 10 was going to be the book of monsters and anything after that was going to be the book of witches so we're doing book of monsters ah i'm so excited and the fourth story in book of monsters is lubobo which is a story from west africa i am so excited to read this okay let's i have never read this story before let's do it. I have never read this story before. Let's do it. Wait, wait. So Lubobo,

do you still want to make predictions? Oh yeah. I think both of us should make predictions. Okay. Because I've never read the story either. So I think that'll be really fun. Yeah. You go first and then I will make mine. Okay. Because I've never read the story, but it's Lubobo from West Africa. Lubobo. I have no idea what that's going to be. Or even how to spell it. Okay. Prediction one. The monster isn't bad. Love it.

Okay. Because it's a book of monsters, right? It's a book of monsters. Okay. My prediction is the monster isn't bad. right? It's a book of monsters. Okay. My prediction is the monster isn't bad. My prediction is that the protagonist isn't a monster. Is that okay? Yeah, fine. I mean, what do I know? That's fine with me. I don't know. And then my third prediction is that there is some sort of important magical talisman type thing. An important magical talisman type thing.

An important magical talisman type thing. Okay. That's important to the story. Okay. Okay. So you're predicting the monster is not bad, the protagonist is not a monster, and there's an important talisman. Correct.

Or magic item. Yeah, something important. That's like a necklace or a cane or just something that's like symbolic. Gotcha. I'm going to predict that the monster is a people eater. I love that. I'm going to guess that Lou Bobo is the monster's name.

I'm going to guess that Lou Bobo eats people. I think that there will be a romance subplot. Oh my gosh. I love that. I really want that. I want there to be a romance with a monster. Oh my god, a romance with an evil monster? Monster romance.

I do. I am a sucker for monster romances. So very much. Okay. I'm excited and nervous. Let's let's hear it. I'm already wrong. Just throwing that out there. The monster Gogo was a huge hairy monster and a greedy monster. He was always overeating. Haha. Well, that doesn't say people actually. I'm not getting excited. He didn't say this. He was always overeating and when his stomach was too full and gave him pains, Gogo would grumble and say to his stomach, let me alone, Lubobo. Let me alone, grumble and say to his stomach let me alone lubobo let me alone lubobo so i guess is i guess lubobo refers to his stomach oh okay but he went on eating all the same every living thing on earth was food for greedy gogo and by night he came out of a cave underground and wandered through

the country seeking what people or what animals he might devour point Point for Abby. Yes. Also, how relatable is Gogo? I also want to eat everything in sight. Now, you must know that there was a widow woman who had an only daughter called Ayesa, and these two lived in a lonely cottage among fields with no near neighbors. So in order to defend herself and her daughter against Gogo, the woman kept four great dogs, very strong, very fierce, very clever. And the names of these four dogs were Shato,

Fari, Samanduna, and Samambusa. I love so far that everyone has a name. Right? Except the widow. The widow does not have a name. Yeah.

But everyone else does. And every day the widow cooked for them a big dinner of roast meat and oatmeal porridge. And every evening she said to them, keep good watch, my dogs, through the night, lest monster Gogo come this way. And the four dogs would wag their tails and say, yes, yes, little mother, we'll keep watch. You go to bed and sleep without fear. And they did keep watch. And they did keep watch. When Gogo came wandering that way at night, seeking whom he might devour and talking to his stomach,

the four dogs set up such a fierce growling and such a furious barking that Gogo passed on. As all good predators do when they just realize that someone is too much trouble to be worth it. Good guard dogs. Good guard dogs. And so the widow and Ayesa lived in safety. But one day the widow had to go to town to buy provisions. And it's a long way. So she decided to stay overnight with her cousins there. And before she set out, she said to Ayesa, don't forget the dog's dinner. Roast the meat in good time, cook plenty of porridge and fill their drinking pail with clean, fresh well water. Remember all these things that you might sleep secure. I'm secretly hoping for the romance

subplot to be between Go-Go and Ayasa. We'll see. So far, there seems to be no romance subplot, but we're only one page into an eight-page story, so who knows? So Ayasa answers, yeah, mom, of course I'll'll remember no need to remind me about that the book even has like a sarcastic emphasis on that oh my god mom just go so the widow set off for town and ayesa put the dog's joint of meat in the oven and their porridge to cook on top of the stove and after that she bustled about with a broom and a duster setting the house tidy all at once the four dogs who were lying outside the shadow of the house began to bark not with angry barks but with little welcoming ones aissa aissa girls voices were calling aissa

threw down her broom and ran to the door there were four girlfriends of hers come to visit her and bringing some sweetmeats with them and a bottle of wine. Hell yes, girls night. Hell yeah. Might as well have a girls night while your mom's out. In they all came, skipping and laughing, and sniff, sniff went their pretty little noses. Ooh, Ayasa, what's cooking? It smells good. And aren't we hungry? what's cooking? It smells good. And aren't we hungry? Let's have a taste, Ayasa. Let's have a taste. Well, said Ayasa, I expect you can have just a little taste, but it's really the evening food for the dogs. Food for the dogs? Then we'll be dogs, cried the girls. And then they start pretending to bark. They go, bow, wow, wow. And there they were jumping around the kitchen, pretending to be dogs but outside in

the shadow of the house shato said to fari silly things and fari said to shato well they're young and samanduna said time they grew up then and saman busa said let them play whilst they may as long as they don't eat up all of our dinner. I love that the dogs are gossiping about the girls. They are. Well, because they're also sort of like babysitting in a way. That's so cute. I love this already. Because this very much reminds me of a bunch of teen girls having a sleepover while mom's

out, but the dogs are there to keep an eye on them. It's very cute. But that's just what the girls did they ate all of the meat except for a few frizzled bits of fat and they ate all of the porridge except for the scrapings of the pot they finished off with the sweet meats and the wine they had themselves brought and vowed they had never eaten a better dinner i mean rude but i know super super rude also just just typical teenage, like just not paying attention

to the potential horrible consequences of shirking your responsibilities. So after dinner, it was chit-chat time and plenty of laughter and teasing each other about the village lads and other gay nonsense.

Perfect. That's what the book says. I want to be at that party actually also i'm i'm imagining i i know that i know that ruth manning sanders probably did not intend this but i'm definitely envisioning a double entendres gay nonsense a queer sleepover it's a queer it's a queer sleepover it was just gay nonsense in addition to happy nonsense it was happy and queer nonsense absolutely it was already late in the afternoon when the girls said goodbye to aissa and scampered away to get safe home before dusk lest the prowling go-go catch them unawares and it was only after they had gone that Ayesa remembered that the dogs had not had their dinner. Oh, dip. My bad.

That's exactly what she says, pretty much. Goodness me. Oh, botheration. Well, then, what was left? No porridge, no roast meat, except a few bits of fat and an overdone hard scrap or two that the girls had left on their plates there wasn't any more meat in the house and truly ayesha told herself that she was tired out and couldn't go making more porridge at this time of day so the dogs would just have to be satisfied for once with the bits and pieces she could scrape together those tiresome spoiled creatures those poor dogs.

I know. All they do is protect you from this big, horrible, hairy monster that comes prowling every night. What would you say they do around there? And as to drinking water, botheration again. The water pails were empty. And how could she go out to the well with Twilight coming on and that frightful go-go most likely already on the prowl? That's probably safe.

I feel like that was the smart decision. At this point, when you've made so many bad decisions, she's making the best of the culmination of her bad choices. Chateau Fari, Salmonduna, and Salmondbusa, there they all were now, crowded up in the kitchen, wagging their tails and looking at her with expectant eyes. Here you are, said Ayesa, setting down the tails and looking at her with expectant eyes. Here you are, said Ayesa,

setting down the dish of bits and pieces in front of them. What? said Chateau. They're gonna be mad. Is that our dinner? said Fari.

It's not enough to feed a mouse, said Salmonduna. And where's the porridge? said Salmondusa. Okay, now they sound a little spoiled.

Yeah. That also could be because I'm putting on my best whiny voice. I'm sure they're very impressive sounding dogs. Take it or leave it, said Ayesa. My, I'm tired. And she sat down and she yawned. Well, I guess we're going to have to go out and find our own dinner said shotto maybe farmer salem will have something for us said fari yes yes he's a kind man we'll go and

ask him said samanduna but we'll come back as soon as we can said saman busa and off they all raced out of the house and down the road to the nearest farm and that was some way off. Uh-oh. Left alone. All alone. While the go-go is out. While the go-go is out and on the prowl for pretty girls to eat. Anyway, all quiet in the cottage, Ayesa sat by the fire and yawned. And she thought, yeah, I think I'm going to go to bed. But then she thought she had better wait until the dogs came back. Because that you know that that strikes me as a really smart choice yeah yeah i guess it's not she's not a fool she's

not a fool she's just a little irresponsible a little irresponsible but was that really all her fault that her friends come in and eat her out of house and home? Ate all her food. That sounds about right. Honestly, that sounds, yeah, no, I was like, that sounds about right. Also, I remember being 16 and not being able to stand up to my friends if there was something they wanted to do. So, you know, I get it. So, she

decides to stay up until the dogs come back. Then she smiled to herself and patterned her smooth, shining hair, thinking of something one of the girls had said about a lad in the village who admired her. Oh. Mm-hmm. It is. There's your romance.

No, because the next sentence is, but I don't intend to get married for a long time, so he'll just have to wait, she said to herself. Ah, good lass. I like her. Good for her. She seems like she's a promising young woman. Yeah, I think she's a good kid. She seems like a good kid with a lot of promise. And she's very, you know, she's got dreams for herself.

Yeah, she does. But what was that sound outside? The garden gate creaking, a flump, flump of heavy feet on the garden path, and a voice loudly muttering, Let me alone, Lubobo. Let me alone, Lubobo. Go, go.

Terrified, Ayesa sprang to the house door and bolted it. Terrified, she rushed upstairs into her bedroom and locked the door. But crash, the house door is down. There's a trampling in the kitchen, a loud snuffling, a picking up and flinging down of empty dishes, and a wailing voice. Leave me alone, Lubobo. Let me alone, Lubobo. Footsteps on the stairs, a huge snuffling, a banging at the bedroom door,

and still that wailing voice. Let me alone, Lubobo. Let me alone, Lubobo. Ayasa was standing on the bed now. She was reaching up to a trap door in the ceiling. She had the trap door open. She was clambering through it into the loft. She was crouching down behind some old trunks, but now Gogo had smashed down the bedroom door, and now he was in the bedroom. Now he was clambering onto the bed, and now he was poking his hairy great head through the trap door. And still he was grumbling at his stomach. Let me alone,

Lou Bobo. Let me alone, Lou Bobo. It sounds like Go-Go isn't in control of Lou Bobo. I think that's an interesting thought because it more sounds that he's not in control of himself. Like he just keeps eating until his stomach hurts. Yeah.

Like his stomach is in control which i feel like is very relatable again relatable both of these characters are just relatable af but but he definitely does seem possessed by his own hunger in whatever way that happens to be. So Ayesa is trembling and sobbing at this point, which yes, absolutely, me too. And is scrambling out of the loft window

and down into the yard. In the yard was a great earthenware pot. Ayesa jumped into it it drew down the lid and crouched there with her heart thumping against her ribs she can hear gogo above her climbing out of the loft window and sniffing for her like she can just hear this sniff snuffle sniff snuffle of him walking around the yard until finally he's sniffing at the earthenware pot where she's concealed herself aha my good little supper gogo took up the pot in his great hairy hands he opened his great mouth and now the pot was in his mouth and he had swallowed it down i guess and all oh geez okay

yeah oh my i wasn't expecting that. Right? I was not expecting the girl to get eaten and the story is only about half over. Not sweet baby Ayesa. Sweet baby Ayesa. He swallows the pot down with Ayesa in it. His stomach starts speaking to him. You'll regret this, said Gogo's stomach as the pot came flumping down into it. I'm full to bursting, I tell you. Full to bursting. Gogo and Lubobo are like different characters.

I guess so. Because now Lubobo is speaking. Yeah. Interesting. I love it. Me too. I think that's kind of fun. This is a spooky story. This is a surprisingly scary story. So far, I'm really into it. It's one of the reasons why slasher movies and serial killer movies have never really

done it for me because they always involve some form of home invasion, which home invasion is one of my like legit actual real life worst fears. And so like my dreams do not thank me after watching slasher films. Yeah. Well, I was actually just thinking it sounds like a slasher because- Exactly.

In our Halloween episode, we did horror genres for the stories. And it's funny because this one is totally a slasher so far. Although it's not over. Yeah, it's not over. and i think gogo is supposed to be a literal monster as opposed to a figurative one but still like he is a he is a home invasion murderer i thought all the girls were gonna die that was my original like i know i was kind of

hoping i was hoping it was gonna go in that direction where he was just going to hunt all of the girls through the house like it was a scream movie. That's exactly what was on my mind. So Gogo's stomach is yelling at him saying, I'm full to bursting. And Gogo only answers, let me alone, Lubobo, and walked off across the fields in the gathering twilight, snatching up every living thing he met with, whether man or beast, and swallowing them down, heedless of his protesting stomach. Now up the road from Farmer Salem's, Chateau and Fari and Samaduna and Samanbusa,

tails up, ears pricked, full fed, and joyous, came racing home. But their ears fell flat and their tails were tucked between their legs when they reached home, for in front of the broken house door stood Ayesa's mother with her hands to her head and her eyes wild. Oh, something told me I must come home, but this is worse than anything. The house is in shambles and where is Ayesa? Oh, Gogo must have been here. Gogo must have

swallowed my Ayesa. Oh, you bad, wicked dogs. My daughter, my little daughter, for this, I will kill that go-go. Fuck yes! Yes! An angry mother! Yes! Oh, I'm so excited. It's gonna be a revenge story. I felt really bad for

the dogs for a second. Because it, I mean, it really wasn't their fault they were hungry and i guess it didn't feed them they were good dogs yeah they're good boys i'm stoked that they had another place to go to get food that's really cute they're like we'll go bug this guy about food you know don't worry about it we'll be back yes angry mother i love it we're gonna get revenge adventure vengeance story i'm very excited little mother little mother it is we who will kill that gogo cried shato and fari and summon duna and summon busa and off with them tails up noses to the ground the goodest boys sniff sniff

sniff darting this way. Darting that way. Following the scent of Gogo's footsteps with the widow running behind them, waving a carving knife and sobbing. I fucking love this. So good. This is really setting the scene. It is. And it's getting dark and this grieving woman with her knife and her four huge dogs chasing down this hairy monster i

love it queen yes queen probably say that too much uh i feel like it is warranted here yeah absolutely so now the moon rose round and full far ahead of them they could see the huge dark shape of Gogo ambling across the fields. Gogo was still grumbling at his stomach, but he wasn't looking for anything more to eat. He had such a very bad pain that he thought he would go to his cave and rest for a while. And so he went to his cave and crawled into it, muttering, let me alone, Lubobo. Let me alone alone lubobo let me alone lubobo which by the way there's a fantastic illustration of the widow waving her carving knife and screaming with her four dogs let me see surrounding her i need to see this great look at that oh my gosh look at that look at that shit we're gonna post that on our instagram a thousand percent. You got to send me a pic. Ah, it's so good. Yes, I will send you this picture, but it's so great.

She's just standing there in front of her home, waving her carving knife and screaming to the high heavens while her dogs sniff around her. And it's great. Is it a Robin Jacques illustration? Oh yeah. All of these are illustrated by Robin Jacques. Love it. Such a talented artist.

Even if he does say dragons. Even if he does hate dragons. Even if he always does dragons dirty in the illustration. This illustration looks great. So good. And all at once, Gogo's stomach screamed back at Gogo. I'm too full. I'm too full. I'm going to burst. And burst it did with such a bang that gogo and the cave and all blew up this is such a great story so many twists and turns i want to know if is is gonna burst out of the stomach alive because she's in the pot right yeah she's still in the pot so maybe she's been protected um that's a really good prediction i like that i have that hopes i feel like fairy tale people get eaten a lot but

then they don't actually die yeah it's a pretty common motif in a lot of different fairy tales but sometimes they really do die because also fairy tales are super dark i love it's the best so gogo the cave and everything blows up nothing was left but a huge mound of gray stones and brown earth and a tangle of long hair. Here, then, was the end of the trail. The four great dogs, Shato and Fari and Samanduna and Samambusa, came to the mound. Sniff, sniff, sniff. Now they were scrabbling at the mound with their front feet, burying their noses in the earth, tossing it aside, dragging away the stones. Sniff, sniff, sniff, and scrabble, scrabble, scrabble. And when they had made a deep hole Abbey's grabbing her face and smiling. Hang on a second. I'm sorry.

Abby's grabbing her face and smiling. Hang on a second. I'm sorry. Last time we did a blind reading that happened to me after inevitable horse murder. Does the horse run out and die in this? No. Okay. It's so much more childish. It's just me being about 12 again.

Just because Ruth Manning Sanders is prepping everybody now. Just Ruth Manning Sanders prepping everybody now just Ruth Manning Sanders never calls a rooster a rooster she always calls it a cock just say chicken just say chicken okay sorry I'll see if I can get through it you got this I believe

in you something was coming out it was a cock oh no now it's truly a horror story and i thought it was scary before nothing could possibly be more terrifying than just a cock coming out of a hole in the ground oh goodness i'm just gonna i just going to say rooster. Okay. Because I can't.

I can't with this. Something was coming out. It was a rooster. With a dignified stride, the rooster steps down over the tumbled stones. No, I can't unhear it. It says with a dignified stride. As they do. As is common.

As is common. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm done being a child. I'm done. With a dignified stride, the rooster stepped down over the tumbled stones and heaps of earth, stood for a moment, blinking at the moon, flapped his wings and crowed,

I see the world! Then he flapped his wings again, crowed again, and walked off across the fields. I mean, so random. We're done. That's a wrap on the rooster. Why was that necessary to the story?

Because I imagine that we're going to get a procession of everything that Gogo ate. Oh, I love that. Somebody else is coming out, said Salmonduna. Yes, yes, cried Salmondusa. Someone else is coming out. And out of the mound stepped a man. The man rubbed his eyes, looked this way, looked that way. Ha, said he. I see the world. And off he strode across the field. Nice. Something else is coming out now, cried the four

dogs. And out of the mound scrambled a curly haired dog. Wow, cried the curly haired dog. I see the world. And off he scampered after the man. I love all the dogs in the story me too so many great dogs i love a dog everyone's having a bones day in this story oh absolutely except for i guess gogo and lubobo i think the problem was that gogo was always having a bones day you know gogo was always treating himself even when it should have been a no bones day and he should have just been like chilling at home not eating people this is a no bones day. And he should have just been like chilling at home, not eating people. This is why no bones day are important.

It's important to balance your bones days with your no bones days. Yep. Someone else is coming out, cried Chateau. And out of the mound came a sharp horned bull. Said the bull. I see the world. And he tossed his head, gave a sideways leap and ran off across the fields. Amazing. Someone else is coming out cried fari and after the sharp horned bull stepped out a goat cried the goat

i see the world and off he ran across the fields and after the goat came out a little woolly lamb cried the little woolly lamb. I see the world. A plus goat and sheep voices. Thank you. I needed to differentiate the goat and the sheep noise. That's very important. So I did a good job. You nailed it. And after the little wooly lamb came out a green-eyed cat.

And the cat looked up at the moon and the moon glittered in her green eyes. Meow, said the green-eyed cat. I see the world. And she walked off across the fields. I really hope that's the end of the creatures, because I'm done doing animal noises. I'm not doing them anymore. It just goes on like that for two more pages.

That's actually literally what the book says. The book says, So it went on. The creatures were coming out of the mound one after another there seemed no end to them but where was the widow's little daughter aissa oh where was she hoping despairing now sobbing now laughing the widow stood by the hole in the ground surely surely the next to come out would be aissa but aissa did not come out no i know oh my god i'm actually genuinely getting a little worried because this is the last page.

I guess I guess I cried the widow. Oh, my little daughter. My little daughter. Where are you? Then at last, from deep within the mound, a muffled voice answered. I'm here. Dig deeper, my dogs. Dig deeper.

Tear the mound to pieces, cried the widow. The four great dogs set to with a will working with teeth and paws tossing aside the earth dragging away the stones till all lay scattered and tumbled about them and where the mount had been there stood only the widow's great earthenware pot very black cauldron imagery in my mind for some reason i guess i guess a little daughter where are you and from inside the pot came a stifled answer. I'm here. Then the widow lifted the lid off the pot and I guess a scrambled out.

And there she was clasped in her mother's arms with Chateau and Fari and Samanduna and Samambusa jumping around the two of them, wagging their tails and barking joyously. I'm really glad that this had a happy ending. Me too. I was really worried for a minute. Me too. So they all went home together. The widow gave Ayesa some hot milk and put her to bed. And from her market basket, she took meat and oatmeal and cooked the dogs the biggest and best supper they had ever eaten. And after that, they all lived happily, fearing nothing by day or by night, since Gogo would never come again to trouble them. The end. Amazing. So good. That was a great story. That was such a great story. Oh my gosh. We each got what? Well, I don't know. Your second one,

your second prediction was Lubopo was the monster, which I think is correct. So I think you got two points and I got one. No, because I thought Gogo was the monster, which I think is correct. So I think you got two points and I got one. No, because I thought Go-Go was the monster. They were both kind of the monster. I don't think of his stomach as a separate character, I guess. I mean, I'll take it. I mean, if you don't want the point. If you really want to award me the point.

If you don't want the point. I just don't think I deserve it. Like, I don't want a point I didn't deserve. Okay, we each got one point then. I got one because they said the protagonist wasn't a monster, and I think, for me, I guess it was the protagonist. Yep, I guess it was definitely the protagonist.

Okay. Arguments could be made for the dogs or her mother, but the monster was definitely not the protagonist, so I think that you were right there. Do we have fixes for this? I guess give the widow a name since everyone else has one.

Yeah, give the widow a name because I don't know why the widow is so important to know. You really only have to say she's the widow once for us to understand the situation. I don't know. I kind of wish a few of the girls had been eaten by Go-Go as well because that would have made me laugh. I know, me too. I wish it had followed more of a slasher structure and that iasa was more of a final girl my only real fix and it's not really

like a fix i thought the story was so great and i love that the dogs got like a big meal afterwards afterwards because they're good boys and i love that it had a happy ending. I genuinely was getting a little sad to think that Ayesa might actually be dead. So I'm glad that, you know, her mother, I just, I love a story where like a parent is able to come rescue their child from a perilous situation. Yeah, I love that like the vengeful mother,

just she was big pissed. Waving her knife, wailing at the stars with her giant dogs off to go get her revenge. And her dogs were as equally as mad. And it was just, it was so good. They're like, no, we'll kill him. That would be such a fun movie. Like, because it's like, you know, teens having a party and then they slowly get picked off one by one.

By this like ravenous monster. Yeah, I like that. The book itself just says West Africa, which that's still a lot of different countries and a lot of different people that that could be. Yeah. So I'm just going to try to see if I can find any context on the folktale itself before we move on. Here's Eboo Gogo from Cryptid Wiki.

itself before we move on here's ibu gogo from cryptid wiki ibu gogo humanoid creatures appear in florist mythology ibu means grandmother and gogo means he who eats anything oh okay that might be the origin then this says the nage people floris or floors indonesia described the ibogogo as having been able walkers and fast runners around 1.5 meters tall they reportedly had wide and flat noses broad faces with large mouths and hairy bodies okay so this does sound like it i just really am curious where she got some of these but i know. I'd love more history. If you know more about the go-go, please write in. Let us know. You can email us at info at fairytalefixpod.com. Yeah, interesting.

So the cryptid profile does kind of sound like that. So maybe it's connected. I mean, there are so many creatures and cryptids that they're not in just one region. They are all over the place. Yeah, and there might have been some cultural exchange there. Who knows? I am kind of enjoying the thought that maybe this story might have been based off of, or that like Ibogogos might have been based off of Homo floresiensis,

which is an extinct hominid species that was, I suppose, recently discovered. So maybe that's the basis of that's like where the story comes from. No idea. But that's exciting. That was a great story. I really enjoyed that one. And yes, very, very stoked that it had a happy ending. That was so good.

I love these blind readings. They always crack me up. And I mean, would you have ever chosen Blue Bobo as one of your go-to fairy tales? Probably not. I tend not to gravitate towards stories that have someone's name in it or what seems like someone's name

is never what I want. I always go for stuff that kind of describes what's in it more. So if I can't tell immediately off of a title what's in it, I usually don't go for that one, which is why I really love that we've started doing these because that's usually not what I go for. And the fairy tales, I feel like you can never really tell what you're going to get based off of the name of a fairy tale. You sure can't because usually even if it's

named something like, oh, I don't know know off the top of my head the white snake literally the least interesting part of that story what actually happens in that story i am choosing my story today from the original folk and fairy tales of the brothers graham i'm going to use the jack zipes version um As I've mentioned before, I really do like my Barnes and Nobles classic. I kind of like the storytelling in those a little bit better. They usually add more details. Yeah, they tend to be a little more fleshed out than these first edition ones. The original Folk and Fairy Tales is a little bit more to the point, but it also has a lot of stuff that the newer books don't include.

So I kind of want the whole picture and then I will read, you know, if I find the same story, I'll read it from the next one and I'll talk about it in our next episode of Fairytale Fix. Give you any updates, anything that it might have missed or if they had like a version I liked better. Good plan. If you're interested. I'm interested. And if I'm interested, so was the rest of them. It was really important for the story Roland because in the original Folk and Fairy Tales,

it was called Sweetheart Roland and it had like almost an entirely different mid-story. Anyway, I'm not going to get into it because it's going to make me really upset. But that is my choice for today. So I don't have any dice or anything like that. So I'm going to just put my book up to Abby's video and flip through the pages like I'm a magician and she's going to tell me when to stop. Okay. So. Stop.

What did we get? Little brother and little sister. Okay. So. Stop. What did we get? Little Brother and Little Sister. Oh, okay. Excellent. I have not read that one. Okay. And it's fairly short and I've never read it either.

So why don't you give me three predictions for Little Brother and Little Sister? I predict that they're twins. Okay. I predict that if there is a little brother and a little sister, then there is an older sibling in the story. Okay. And I predict that one of them gets lost. Not both of them? Not both of them. One of them gets lost. Okay. I love it. I am going to predict that they both get lost in the woods. Okay.

I would like to predict that it's a grim story. So I'm going to guess they have an evil stepmother. Solid choice. I bet they do. And I'm also going to predict that... I feel like I predict that there's a talking animal in it too much. But that's what I want to predict. Go for it.

It's a pretty safe bet. I want those points. I don't know why. I don't get in, like, anything for it, but I want those points. You get prestige, recognition. I get glory. Respect. Yeah.

So, without further ado, here is little brother and little sister a little brother took his little sister by the hand and said ever since our mother died we've not had one moment of happiness our stepmother beats us every day and when we come near her she kicks us away with her foot we get nothing but hard crusts of bread and leftovers for food, and the dog under the table is better off. At least he gets a good chunk of meat to eat every now and then. Lord, have mercy on us, if our mother only knew.

Come, let's go off together in the wide world. Aw, okay, well, I like that they're leaving the situation of their own accord, unlike Hansel and Gretel. Correct. You know, that's something.

That was a lot for the first paragraph. That's some rough stuff. Still not sure if they're twins or not. It says a little brother took his little sister. So maybe he's the middle child? He might be the middle child or maybe there is no older child and little brother and little sister are just diminutives that the narrator's using. So they went away and came to a large forest where they were so sad and so tired that they crept into a hollow tree and just wanted to die from hunger.

They both fell asleep. I know, it's very sad. Bees! Fertile children are always getting lost in the woods. That's their thing, man. When they woke the next morning, the sun was already high in the sky and warmed the hollow tree with its rays. Little sister, said the little brother after a while, I'm thirsty. If only I knew where to find a spring, I'd go and have a drink right away.

Listen, I think I hear one trickling. What good will that do? Answered the little sister. Why do you want to drink when we just want to die from hunger? Oh, little sister's a fatalist. She's like, who even cares? Who even cares? Let's just die right now. The little brother kept quiet and climbed out of the hollow tree. And since he always held his little sister's hand tightly, she had to climb out with him. Now, their evil stepmother was a witch. Yes!

Awesome. Of course she was. Awesome. And when she had noticed that the two children had left, she followed them and caused a clear little stream near the tree to trickle from some rocks to form a spring. She's so sneaky. That's crafty. Crafty old witch.

Eat those children. Eat them up. The trickling spring was intended to lure the children and make their mouths water, but whoever drank from the spring would be changed into a little fawn. I love it. it oh devious the little me as a mother not even a stepmother just a regular mom just a regular mother's like okay i think it's time for you to go be animals for a while without without the beating and rudeness. I mean, okay. You just be like Merlin as a parent, like from the sword and the stone, where you just change your children into different animals to teach them life lessons.

Just that part. The little brother soon came to find the spring with his sister. And when he saw the glittering water trickle over the stones into the spring, his thirst became even greater, and he wanted to drink some of the water. However, the little sister was fearful. She thought she heard the spring speak to her as it trickled. Whoever drinks me will be changed into a fawn. Okay, so she's a witch too. Because she can hear the spring.

Me too. That is my fix for the story because I bet that's not the case, but that's what I want. Probably not, but that's what I want. So she begs her little brother not to drink the water. I don't hear anything, said the little brother.

I just hear how lovely the water is trickling. Let me go. Upon saying this, he laid down on the ground, leaned over and drank. And as soon as he felt the first drop of water on his lips, he was changed into a little fawn sitting beside the spring. I mean, that's cute.

Yeah, precious. The little sister wept and wept. However, the witch was angry that she hadn't been able to lure the little sister to drink the water as well. I love this cagey little girl. I know. She's fatalistic. She's like, nah, let's just die right now. But don't drink that water. I mean, becoming a fawn. Is that really the worst thing

in the world? Depends on what the witch plans to do to the fawn. That's true. So after the girl wept for three days, she stood up, gathered some bulrushes, and wove them into a soft rope. Then she attached it to the little fawn and led him with her. She looked for a cave, and when she found one, she carried moss and foliage inside and made a soft bed for him. The next morning, she went out with the fawn to a place with tender grass, and there she gathered the most beautiful grass, and he ate out of her hand. The fawn was delighted and romped about the hills and in the evening when the little sister was tired she laid her head on the back of the fawn it was her pillow and this is how she fell asleep if only her brother could have retained his human form it would have been a wonderful life oh i think it sounds like a wonderful life

that's pretty great already as the fawn he's all He's having a much better life as a faun than he did as a boy. I mean, why would you rather have like a dopey like brother or would you rather have a best friend like little deer? Yeah. Who will become a majestic stag, you know, in a couple of years. Then you can fight it around. Yes. Oh my gosh. Like a witch queen of the forest. Do that. For many years, they lived like this in the forest. Then one day the king went out on a hunt, and when he became lost, he stumbled upon the maiden with a little animal in the forest and was amazed by her beauty. No, no, not a king. Why? Why do the kings got to be riding through the forest? Leave maidens alone leave maidens alone with their fawn brothers but he doesn't he lifted her up onto his horse and did he even ask first

probably not oh i hate this story it was going so well. While the fawn, attached by the rope, ran alongside. I'm sorry, why is the brother still a fawn? It's been years. Oh, yeah. He might actually be a stag. I mean, she went from a girl to a maiden. So I'm picturing like a teenage deer where they're not full

stags, but they've got like the cute little antlers. Fair enough. Like kind of like the halfway point in Bambi before he becomes like a full on buck. They're teenagers now. So she's ready to get married and have babies because she's 13. Absolutely. 13.

You are an adult now. And the King is probably 46. Yep. That tracks. That makes absolute sense. The perfect age to be sweeping up 13-year-olds in the woods. That's not weird or gross or pedophilia at all. That tracks.

That tracks. Sidebar, that is a joke. Oh, yeah. No, I don't know if you- That's disgusting. I don't know if know that's disgusting i don't know if you heard the sarcasm our voice is drooping with sarcasm because just in case you missed the sarcasm because you can't see my face where i look disgusted at the royal court the maiden was treated with honor beautiful young women had to serve, but she herself was more beautiful than any of the other ladies. That's always how it goes.

That's how the world works for women. It's called pretty privilege. It's called pretty privilege. The world ranks you in order of beauty, and then anyone who was less beautiful than you is now your servant. But then you also have to, you know, just go with the 46-year-old king. Yeah, so it's, you know, that's a pretty dubious reward. Anyway, she never let the fawn out of her sight and she tended him with care. Shortly after her arrival, the queen mother died and the king wed the sister and they lived together in great joy. I'm sure she's fine with it, you know, going from being a super awesome forest witch. Yeah, to the child bride of some gross, spoiled old man. She started from the

bottom, now she's here. However, the stepmother had heard about the good fortune of the poor little sister. She had thought that the maiden had long since been torn to pieces by wild beasts, but they had never done anything to her. Indeed, the maiden was now the queen of the realm. The witch was so angry about this that she could only think of some way

she might ruin the queen's happiness. As you do. As stepmothers do. When the queen gave birth to a handsome prince the next year the king went out hunting and the witch appeared in the form of a chambermaid and entered the room where the queen was recovering from the birth the bath has been prepared for you she said it will do you good and strengthen you come before the water becomes too cold the witch led the queen to the bath and locked the door behind her.

Inside, there was a brutally hot fire and the beautiful queen was suffocated to death. What? That's terrible. That's what? What? I've got whiplash. What?

Poor little sister. Okay. Okay. Well, now the witch had a daughter of her own and she endowed her with the outward shape of the queen and laid her in bed in place of the queen in the evening when the king returned home he didn't realize that he had a false wife i just have to say i love a good false wife or false mother false mother it's a good trick but it only works if the king hasn't actually ever spoken to his wife he just thought she was pretty and literally has never actually like

gotten to know her personality which is probably most of them must have been a pretty scrappy young lady to have survived in the woods for years by herself. She's probably got some great stories and would be pretty tough. Like he should know who this person is. Well, we're going to find out anyway. So he didn't realize that he had a false wife, but in the night and the nurse saw this, the real queen appeared in the room.

Like a ghost. She went to the cradle, lifted the child to her breast and suckled him then she plumbed his tiny mattress laid the baby in the cradle again and covered him after this she went into the corner where the fawn slept and stroked his back this was how she came and went every night without saying a word one time, she entered again and said, How's my child? How's my fawn? Twice more I'll come, then I'll be gone.

No! No! Also, I love that her brother is still a fawn. He's a perma-baby. He's a perma-baby! He's still a dear. She told you not to drink it, dude.

He's fine. He loves being a deer, I bet. He's better off. Then she did what she had usually done the other nights. Meanwhile, the nurse woke the king and told him secretly what had occurred. So the next night, the king kept kept watch and he too saw how the queen came and he clearly heard her words. How's my child? How's my fawn? Once more I'll come, then I'll be gone. However, he didn't dare speak to her. The following night he kept watch again

and the queen said, how's my child? How's my fawn? There's no more time. Soon I'll be gone. I'm so sad. Yeah, this is very sad so far. The king could no longer restrain himself. He sprang forth and embraced her. And as soon as he touched her, she was restored to life. Aw. Yay. Rosy red and well. The false queen was led into the forest where the wild beast devoured her. The evil stepmother was burned at the stake, and as the fire consumed her, the fawn was transformed and the brother and sister were

once again together and lived happily until the end of their days. The end. Oh, that story. That story happened. That was a story that story. That story happened. That was a story that happened. I liked it. In spite of myself, I was prepared to be pretty, like, kind of pissy about.

I like that the king rescues her but like quote unquote is able to revive her i think that's that's pretty cool it was it was a nice story it ended a little abruptly yeah i i really feel like there could have been more a little more intrigue there also is her brother still seven? No, I don't think so. I think they're still teenagers because it said she like had a kid the next year. So I'm assuming she's still like really young. Yeah, you're probably right.

So I think we both got one extra point. Well, I don't know. No, I got one point. You got one point. I got no points. That was a no point game for me. no twins no older no older sibling and i don't think they got lost i mean it says they didn't get lost they lived in the woods but they weren't lost yeah they moved in they weren't trying to get anywhere else they moved in so that would be my fixes that the little sister would become like she was also a witch and became

like the witch of the woods and all of the forest animals taught her like woodcraft and various like tips and tricks and various like nature magic what i would want for her i like that and then maybe she still marries the king but at least i feel like there maybe maybe there's some there was some agency there like she bewitched him into pulling her up onto his still marries the king, but at least I feel like there maybe there was some agency there. Like she bewitched him into pulling her up onto his horse. She called the king to her. I like the idea that maybe she seduced him and bewitched him into making her queen. I love that.

That's so good. Whoa, wait a minute. What? What happens? What? Okay. So in this version, the wicked stepmother however was a witch and had remarked the departure of the two children and sneaking after them secretly as is the habit of witches which i love she had bewitched all springs in the forest and then

the little brother is trying to take a drink out of it but the little sister says who drinks of me will become a tiger so the sister exclaimed i pray you brother drink not you will become a tiger and tear me to pieces but the brother did not drink but his thirst was so great so he said i will wait until the next brook that's a fun like that's a cool twist that's a good take yeah okay i like that the next bring the brother tries to drink from she says you'll become a wolf and eat me up so he doesn't drink but then the next one is the fawn and he's like i am so thirsty just deal with it so i feel like out of the three brains that he could have drank from that was the best of the three i think that's so funny and i also so this is what i really love

about this version of the book is like small things like that like as is the habit of witches like that's hilarious witches are stalkers they just do that that's their that's their thing man all right i'm not gonna go through the whole thing i'll let you know that was little brother and little sister so fun yeah let us know if you liked the blind reading it's always really fun for me and abby to kind of discover the fairy tales together. Yeah, I always love having those moments where we're both surprised by something that happens. And I love being able to make predictions together as sort of a team effort. Yeah, it's pretty fun.

It is really fun. We'll probably continue to do more and more of those. And we just find some really like off the wall, out of the way stories that way that we wouldn't have ordinarily been drawn to so yeah fun okay be on the lookout for more of those other than that i think that that's about it for us today thank you so much for listening to fairy tale fix if you enjoy the show please subscribe leave us a review on apple or stitcher or whoever will let you do it. It really does help people not only find the show, but also decide whether or not they're interested in even listening to it. If a bunch of other people give it a thumbs up or five stars or whatever.

So go do that. If you love the show and want to support us, you can also get extra episodes, merch books, and other bonus content at our Patreon by signing up at fairytalefix.cash. And you can go find us on Twitter and Instagram at fairytalefixpod if you want to see cool pictures of various fairy tales that we find. Kelsey's a genius at finding these incredible illustrations for all of the stories that we do, plus these wonderful artists that you

can follow. That's at Fairytale Fixpod for both Twitter and Instagram. And then you can email us your favorite fairy tales, folklore, nursery rhymes, and whatever else comes to mind at info at fairytalefixpod.com. And so the widow who definitely had a name of her own, lived happily ever after with her daughter Ayesa who was the final girl in this scenario and learned valuable lessons about feeding the dogs and the little sister becoming the witch of the forest seduced the king into becoming her lover and sought revenge on her wicked stepmother while saving her little brother from becoming a fawn forever. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.