Fairy Tale Fix - 52: U Mad Bro?

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

STRAP IN FOR THIS ONE. These might be the worst tales we’ve ever told on the podcast, so please heed the trigger warnings. Very special guest and longtime listener Angel from Fantastic Worlds Pod joins us to tell us the ghostly tale of La Llorona, and Abbie tells the worst story we’ve ever heard on the pod–Don’t Get Mad. Spoiler alert, you’re gonna get mad.

beat the shit out of him until he was not a drunk anymore. So sometimes La Llorona is a great, is a great person to encounter if you need to be scared straight. I love that. You just, you know, whatever the agenda is, whatever,

whatever the story needs. 🎵 Hello and welcome back to Fairy Tale Fix. Whatever nonsense you got up to on Halloween and the weeks following. I'm Kelsey. I thought we were ready for this. No, we weren't ready for this. Anytime we get a groove down, you got to change up the introduction. I'm sure our listeners are just like, can you guys get your shit together and just learn how to introduce the show?

I bet they love it. It's silly, wacky fun. Well, that's Abby, the one constantly changing things. And we have a very special, very, very special guest today. We're so excited to introduce Angel. It's me. Oh my gosh. So stoked. And I'm totally starstruck. Oh my goodness. Okay. I need a moment to compose myself. Okay. I'm good. So excited. Hello. Yes, I'm Angel. Hello. Angel, do you want to tell us a little bit about what you do out there in internet land? Oh, absolutely. Yes, I am on a few podcasts. So I'm with the Fantastic Worlds Production. So we've got a couple of really neat podcasts out there. What's nice is that we

kind of cater to all folks. So we've got a fantasy and science fiction focused podcast. So we have our series Far Beyond the Stars. Never heard of it. You never heard of that? No. Well, Abby, let me tell you about Far Beyond the Stars. What an obscure podcast that no one listens to. It's a tabletop role playing. So TTRPG podcast based on the Starfinder kind of Starfinder rule set. So a lot of shenanigans in space, which is always fun. So I play Miss Fanny, the octogenarian ace pilot, which is always fun. I'm also part of the Fantastic Worlds podcast, which is based on Pathfinder, first edition, where I play a druid.

And there's a lot of wintry shenanigans. The common theme is a lot of shenanigans. That's going to be the common theme amongst most of our podcast um and then the greatest show on earth is a pathfinder second edition where we play folks that are part of a circus and it's shenanigans on the high wire we're a very shenanigany shenanigany group, but it's always like angel is such a delight to play with. Like he's always got the most creative characters. Like I feel like your characters always come from such a whimsical place and

you've always got a million pages of backstory and it's all really well thought out. And I actually, I love how like consistent you keep all of your characters, like the internal logic to how each of them operate um like angels angels werewolf character is from the fantastic worlds podcast which is the baba yaga inspired one and you have such a consistent like sense of like when he switches forms and why he switches forms and like uh his own very like interesting sense of self

about it so i just angel is the best is what i'm trying to say thanks it comes from being a whimsical person i think just kind of makes it easier when you're whimsical naturally uh-huh so we're going to ask you a couple of the standard questions that we give our fairy tale fix guests. Okay. Starting with what's your favorite childhood fairy tale? I had to think about this one because so I'm I was a latchkey kid. So, you know, parents all, you know, they both worked, you know, 50 million jobs. So I didn't have a, I had a hard time with the memory of like, okay, what really sticks. But when I was really thinking about it, there was just one was like, oh my gosh, this is my absolute favorite. I would listen to it, read it constantly. And as much as I get my hands on it, it's called bringing the rain to Kapiti plain in non-detail. Um, it is, uh, about, it's a cumulative rhyme, how, uh, key pot brought rain to a drone stricken Kapiti plain. And it's so neat.

The artwork I'll share the, I'll share the, the link and the artwork, but the artwork is so neat. It's written by Verna Aradema. She's a prolific American children author. And it's just, it was my favorite. It had, you know, talking animals, a quest, bringing forth obviously the rain as the main quest line. And I just thought it was really neat that the main character, you know, young kid going out and taking care of business. This is my parents' work ethic instilling in me when I was really little. This kid is getting stuff done.

There's a drought. We'll all go use this magical arrow to pierce the heavens. Now we've got rain. You're welcome. I love it. I have never heard of that fairy tale. So we will have to read that one soon. I don't think that's the tale you're telling today, is it? It is not. No, I didn't think so. Oh, we'll have to read it. That sounds amazing sounds amazing yeah i've never heard of that one no like no surprise that i think i definitely came that that story definitely comes from sort of outside of the the canon of what i was read as a child so i'm i don't know we're gonna have to have you back so you can tell us that one okay cool too although i don't know this quote this next question might spoil might spoil it for us

do you have a fix for it is your fix resisting the work hard uh programming i guess that might be it is maybe the fix okay i respect the kid for taking care of business on their own, but the entire village is suffering from the drought as well. My fix is, you know what? How about the community actually gets together and take care of the problem as a whole? That would be my fix. Instead of letting this poor child just take care of the whole quest line by themselves. That would be very relevant today today kind of moral to the story absolutely i love that i love that as a fix for it like why are we making the children

fix everything on their own do it now it's your problem good luck we gotta drop yeah that sounds a little too real. Honestly, I was about to say what a horrible metaphor for how we're handling things in our current political climate. It's like that sounds like the next generation's problem. Oh, gosh. So, Angel, I know that you are. Angel is actually a longtime listener and patron of Fairy Tale Fix. What inspired your love?

I know you're a big fairy tale fan. And you also have my heart because you're a big Tenth Kingdom fan, and I love that about you. Watch it once a year. We need to have a big watch party sometime. I would love to do that. But, yeah, what inspired your love for fairy tales i think it goes back to again being a latchkey kid it's was i remember getting my hands on anything i could really read uh growing up and you know you know, there's nobody at the house. And I remember sometimes

we'd have the neighbor would watch me when we were living in the patio here in Sacramento. Well, the channel was like all in like Laotian. So I was like, I'm like, I don't know what's on the TV. So it was discovering things. And then I guess finding what I liked and make that, you know, a call back to being whimsical. So I think that's where it also stemmed from. Maybe it was a chicken or the egg thing. Am I whimsical because of the stories I grew up with or because I was whimsical, that's what I gravitated to. So anything I could kind of pick up, and I loved being immersed in kind of these fantastical worlds. There was usually some sort of moral to the story story or just sometimes it was just something, you know, silly. And you don't know.

It's funny. Now looking back, glossing over like the darker aspects where now, you know, with the lenses of an adult going, dang, that's jacked. I was going to say being a latchkey kid makes perfect sense that you would

gravitate toward fairy tales because fairy tale kids have it real hard. So definitely finding something that you can relate to in a story. 100%. And they also have to have adventures by themselves. And they're smart and brave and they're able to overcome all of the problems that face them by themselves. Like, yeah. And I remember as a child having just even mad respect for the folks that wrote them or put them out. These are their little, you know, their little worlds that they're creating and just

putting out there to exist, you know, long, long past their own lifetime. But yeah, I want to say that. And I've just been in love with them ever since. And anything kind of fantasy related always, you know, when 10th Kingdom, when I first saw that as a miniseries, I was like, get out of town, instantly hooked. But I want to, yeah, I want to contribute it to, you know, hey, my hardworking parents, you know, one job wasn't enough, three or four. Poor things. They're retired now and enjoying their retirement, which is very nice. Good.

I'm glad for them. So they didn't quite leave you to the wolves, which sounds like. No. Not like Hansel and Gretel parents, but. Nope. Nope. I nope nope they were shocked to learn I would push a chair against the stove so it could reach the countertop so it could cook eggs

but you know those stories came later they're like oh it was like well you weren't there you could do like well the house didn't burn down so mission accomplished no harm no foul it's always good You could do like, well, the house didn't burn down. So mission accomplished. No harm, no foul. It's always good.

So what made you want to start a Baba Yaga themed podcast? You know, Baba Yaga is such an interesting character. And for me, she's the quintessential witch, the spooky, you know, the spooky lady and all the stories, even if they're not Baba Yaga related. In my mind, even growing up, it was always Baba Yaga. It was like the same person, just in different, whether it's like multiverse, what have you. So when there was a selection of, you know, which adventure path are we going to go with? And there was several, and they all had cool covers. But this one, I was like, oh, heck, I see little chicken legs over there on that little hut. And the first page starts with that story rhyme. Abby, you had read that intro piece to the AP, and it was,

oh, that's a Baba Yaga of my childhood. That's a Baba Yaga of my teens. And it's, okay, there's a witch. She is the quintessential witch. There's no way I was not going to vote for that one. And playing in that world, the people that put together the ap just did such a great job putting that theme together of you know wintry horror with these just creepy elements that scream like to me like a witch adventure you know possessed dolls and you know spooky haunts and it's just yeah that that's uh that that does it and it's it's they did such a good job absolutely uh i i couldn't agree i like because i i remember we we had a we had like you said quite an array of different ones that we could have gone with uh that all that that kind of took us to some more, I think, potentially conventional places in a high fantasy drama.

And I really liked that this one was so, it was so like creepy winter death entropy, witches, ice monsters. There's like centaurs in like one of the places that you go but they're like it's just it's just all it's just all a little different it was just we we fought we fought like a six like a polar bear oh yeah was pretty cool it it's just i'm so glad we went i'm so glad we went with that adventure path like i think i think that was a superior choice and you were a big driver of why we

picked that one. I think, cause I think the rest of us were getting a little distracted by the Chinese from other, other potential storylines. And you were like, nice. You're like gang Baba.

Yaga is where it's at. No regrets. No regrets. Well, speaking of a creepy, spooky things, we're not quite done with spooky season yet. And I know Angel brought a pretty spooky folktale for us, didn't you? I sure did.

Oh, I'm so stoked. You've been telling us about this for a while now, and we are finally here for it. So go ahead and tell us what you are going to read. Okay, so I'm going to read the legend of La Llorona. She's also known as the Weeping Woman, or sometimes the Wailing Woman. Oh, I love it. Now, the challenge on this one is there are literally

tons of iterations of the tale. And these are usually passed via oral tradition. So having them captured is usually a matter of capturing somebody's stories. And it's not the standard, well, you know, this is the grim tale and it's a grim tale. There's no, hey, this is the grim tale and it's a grim tale there's no hey this is the vela cruz llorona tale it just varies from from region to region um and the telling is a little bit like yabayaga yeah yeah that's exactly it so this one um you know this one for the season just really resonates with me because it's a legend that's still alive to this day, you know, where folks are them, you know, they're story creatures. But here there's folks that are, to this day, creating new stories based on this figure.

To me, that's just kind of like a living fairy tale, living legend, living mythos. Where did the story originate? So the story has its origins around maybe four centuries back. And it gets a little wonky because it has similar elements to other cultures, but around about four centuries back. And it's around the Central American, Mexican, even kind of Southern American where where the tale is is known there so as far as like the specific origin uh hard to nail down uh but definitely kind of like a mesoamerican type uh origin if if one was going to be given to it excellent oh my gosh i'm so excited about this because like you hear like you hear la llorona referenced in a bunch of places and there are like a bunch of movies have been made with that title.

But I've never I've never actually heard the full story and I don't really and I don't really know it. I've actually managed to stay pretty far away from like La Llorona centered content. Would that like, do you, have you been able to kind of keep, keep your awareness clean, Kelsey? I literally have never heard of La Llorona.

Like really? It was referenced in Angel Wants to Tell Us This Story. Like I've never heard of her. It is completely, unless there might have been an episode of Grimm that referenced it at one point that I watched, but that was honestly like before the pandemic. That was a long time ago. So I don't remember.

Wasn't there a movie? Oh, yeah. I've got a couple of notes about the movie, too, that I. So I've got stuff to watch after. Yep. I have some behind the scenes stuff that's actually pretty sweet regarding the movie oh yeah I know I know basically nothing um so Abby why don't you give three predictions uh first so I can copy all your ideas I know I know one thing

about it and so I'm going to avoid making any predictions in that general direction so that i don't taint kelsey okay with it um but the rest of it i'm i have no idea um well i don't know i might do i know other do i know other stuff because angel didn't you tell me once that like um your mom used to try to frighten you with telling you that la llorona was in the canal by your house or something oh yeah so this is so uh kelsey don't take this wrong way but i'm not surprised that you've never heard of the lllorona. But amongst mi gente, you'd be hard pressed to find somebody that doesn't have a story.

And oh my gosh, I totally went down a rabbit hole doing some additional research because I was like, okay, I could read it or I could have some background. Wow, there is tons of stories. I actually have a book that I got where it's a collection of the author went

around where they were not really the author. They just compiled all these stories. And when I read them, I hear the voices of, you know, aunts, uncles, cousins, third cousins, twice removed, you know, extended family. When I read them, because usually every generation or every family group has a tale. And yes, mom definitely used the Llorona as kind of your traditional, you know, bookie man, don't do this, or, you know, this is going to happen. I love that so much. I'm honestly glad I didn't like, I'm kind of glad my parents or my family didn't have stories like that when I was a kid because I probably would have taken it way too seriously. Like basically anything anyone told me as a child, I believed immediately and just ran with it to like the point of obsession. Oh, so it's a good thing your parents weren't actually trying to frighten you with monsters.

Like I remember every single kind of creepy thing that my parents tried to scare me with. Do you want me to make predictions first, Abby, since you think you know a little bit more? No, I still want to go first. Okay. And then this might either help or throw you off track. Let's hear it. La Llorona was murdered.

Murdered. I love it. Prediction one. Prediction two. This is so hard. It is. I'm trying to decide what did I make up

without hearing the story and what did I, what did I make up without hearing the story? And what did I actually hear somewhere? It's always fun, Angel. This is always the hardest part of our podcast is coming up with predictions. I swear Dustin cuts out like at least four minutes of us going. Thank you, Dustin. Now that's part of the Yorona lore is you know what have you heard what did you think you made up so that you might want to burn one of your predictions just based on that

because it's very in theme with uh how the how the lore it continues to propagate. Okay. Something I think I made up is that she died very young. So I think she was murdered. And I think she was murdered when she was still quite young. And by young, I guess I'm going to quantify that as like under 25. And I think she died by drowning. Drowning. All your predictions are based on her dying yeah i'm pretty sure she dies it's just kind of like how how why and when i guess is sort of my who done it who done it was there a candlestick involved exactly exactly it's the clue the clue of la llorona is sort of that would be a great addition you know they have like the disney monopoly you know adventures yahtzee la llorona clue

i'm actually really excited to hear about la llorona and then like watch the things that you tell me she's in so i can enjoy it i love i love watching movies while knowing the folklore about a creature it's spectacular because it makes it way better i like guessing the end of movies like that's part of what i love about horror is like figuring out what's gonna happen or you're so guessing it too. I don't know. Not always, but it's fun. Okay. So my predictions have nothing to do with about how she died. It is how she is ruining people's lives, how she's entering their nightmares.

So my prediction one, she eats children because I mean, how else are you like, what else is she going going to do that your parents are scaring you with? She's got to be eating children. As one does. Like one does. Like most good witches. Wailing, weeping women.

That's what I want to do in my afterlife. Is try to eat children? Yes, eating children. We talked about this before we started recording i'm not a kid person okay kelsey after her death takes on the mantle of la llorona okay goals squad goals we'll see if that's my dream job um uh prediction two i think she's a shapeshifter. I think, uh, I don't think she has one form. And three, based on what you said, I think she controls memories. Ooh. That is my third prediction.

Gosh, your predictions are so much more fun than mine. Okay. Wow. Okay. I'm so excited. All right. So because this is oral tradition, I've selected, it's a shorter one. So this story is documented.

So the teller is Maria Perez. They're the mother of the author Domino Perez, who wrote There Was a Woman, La Llorona from Folklore to Popular Culture. Really great book. I barely scratched the surface on this one. Good stuff there. So this is the story Maria tells her children. Fue una mujer who married a man con tres niños chiquillos. There was a woman who married a man with three kids. Now this man loved his children very much, pero esta vieja fue muy celosa. She was

very jealous. She was jealous of the kids because he showered them with love every day. She told him how she felt but nothing changed. One day, she had enough and told him, So basically, one day you're going to lose that which you care about the most. Oh my god, this is already so much more fucked up than I thought it was.

Also me as a mom. You're going to regret this. Why do you love our kids more than me? Kelsey, your resume is looking pretty good so far. Well, one day he was working late or something, but he was late getting home. So she took those kids down to the rio or the river and drowned them. Oh my God. Thinking with them out of the way, she would be able to get more of his attention.

she would be able to get more of his attention. Después, later, cuando el señor regresó, when the man returned a la casa, he found those kids gone and knew immediately what had happened. La Roca had killed them. He was heartbroken. Pues, he left her and she died of loneliness. She drowned the kids?

I knew someone drowned. I thought it was her. Nope. Close. She drowned the kids? Yep. Not quite me as a mom. Wow.

That's hard to hear. Wow. He comes home and he instantly knows like that, like the fine hairs on the back of my neck are standing up like I'm smiling and laughing but it's very nervous giggling so just picture kids hear this

very little growing up I know we don't get the mother goose we get this or some variant of it and being scared of your mother is like that that's horrifying as fuck. That's like. And there's more.

Oh, yeah. Y cuando ella murió, so when she died, y fue al cielo, so she went to heaven, God told her, you cannot enter the kingdom until you find the lost souls of the children. cannot enter the kingdom until you find the lost souls of the children because she didn't know where they were she wanders the earth to this day looking for them oh my god she's just looking for like kids oh so what does she do with them i feel like that's not how it can end like now oh so that's the end of that specific telling but there is so many variants so some of them are um some of them change depending on the region and the time so during the early colonial times she was a native woman and the man was a rich spaniard and uh she bore his children but because they were different classes he he's like oh i'm not gonna marry you

sorry and because of that our anguish she it always the there's always an infanticide infanticide what did i just say that infanticide yeah she kills the babies all the time and this is a very common theme in those stories. And so she drowns them. And what she does afterward is she goes looking for her kids. So she's known to, you know, be good or the Yorona will take you because she's looking for her kids. So either you look like them or you remind her of them. So she snatches you. And maybe you're just gone forever into the ether.

Maybe you're found drowned. but she kidnaps kids as a big part of the mythos so folks stay away from her i know mission accomplished when uh i grew up on a ranch and there was this canal nearby and the bridge across it was you know it wasn't very wide it was enough for a big rig to pass through and maybe a little bit of clearance on either side but as little kids like oh that's a lot of running water you can make boats well because it was a water there was always that on the back of the head is like oh i don't know if i want to play by myself near the water because whatever the yorona is going to get me and drag me into its depths so mission accomplished for mom retelling the tale is um hers always ended with you know being the kidnapped uh um or or drowned but that's what results of these encounters

with uh yorona but again it's it's interesting that it just sometimes the kids are hers. Sometimes it's from the husbands. Sometimes it's the she finds him cheating. So in a jealous rage, she drowns the kids. And then sometimes also like kills herself. But they vary. The stories vary, which makes it very interesting when you're reading the tales.

It sounds like a great way to get kids not to accidentally drown by going near the lake, like stay away from the lake and these small bodies of water because now you're on a nap. Don't go too close to the well. I also just fucking love that we didn't record this part

of our conversation but we were all talking about our relationship with children right before this uh i don't know why i think her eating children is less horrible than her just drowning kids because she's jealous they're both awful but i don't know eating kids is like funnier to me somehow well it's funnier and it's also more like no because i kind of get that because it's it's almost more primal it's more like your it's more hunger related like oh that's just what witches eat that's drowning drowning children is just seems colder and like horrible it seems weirdly less loving there's a variant in which the husband's abusive uh there's always like a spin again who's telling it uh the husband's abusive so um she makes up her mind to protect her kids so she leaves them

under a bridge near it's always usually water she leaves them under a bridge near, it's always usually water related, you know, under a bridge near the water, a river. Goes back to like collect items that they need to, you know, survive. They didn't leave with them to begin with, whatever. Anywho, but she gets held up for some reason or other. So by the time she gets back, the kid's already frozen under the bridge. But it's always the same where she laments. So the thing that makes her so known is the wailing, you know, the llorona. She's the weeping woman.

So you always hear or the, oh, hijos you know my kids and that's like the spooky part when you're growing up because this is like is that in the wind um who knows you hear a weird noise sometimes in some tales she is a shapeshifter um where she can turn into uh an owl and i know um oh yeah because of like the the hooey oh yeah and if you if you hear or see the owl that means it's it's kind of like the banshee cry where you're gonna die pretty soon so it's like an omen of death um gosh which owls had always freaked me out as a little kid because of that my mom was like oh there's an owl that's the spirit of some dead witch or you know the yorona i'm like what no that's an owl you know national geographic the owls that's a barn owl lady um

but it wasn't dark so they'd come out. So we lived in the ranch. It was the main house and where the equipment was a good ways off. So when it was time to call my dad for dinner, my mom would sometimes send me to go get him. It's like, oh, go get your pa. I'm like, well, there's a phone in his office. Why don't we just use that? just use that um so um the walk there was just so brutal because between the house and the next kind of like where it's sheltered from like a wind is was this like little gravel road and it's just like it's super exposed at least with one side you have like a building on one side and i i would

run or i'd have like the dog with me and i'd get him by the collar. It's like, okay, Penny, you're coming with me. Let's go. And it was just like getting there really quick, banging on the doors, like Papa, uh, uh, yeah, you know, dinner's ready. And then just like run back like, Nope. And heavens forbid you see an owl. Cause then it's like, Oh crap. I saw an owl. I saw an owl. Oh yeah. Oh man. It was yeah. Game over. I saw an owl. Oh, yeah.

Oh, man. It was, yeah, game over. But I do love the idea of a little angel or probably like pre-teen angel being like, it's just an owl, mom. Like, you know, when you start getting over the ghost stories and you're like. But it still does sort of like low-key creep you out. Yeah. One time we were driving somewhere. It was dark and we were driving somewhere. I don't, it was like night, night, night. So there was no lights, just the car headlights.

And there was an owl like on the side. And my mom's like, oh no, there's the owl. I was like, oh my God, mom's like, okay, well I'll do a little Lord's prayer. And the owl like flies away the minute she starts like praying. I'm like, huh, that's kind of of creepy i'm sure it was just gonna fly off anyway yep that's that's what happened your coincidence finally someone who doesn't romanticize owls i mean don't get me wrong owls are fine but they are also basically evil they are like the meanest wildlife creatures ever i love the idea

of owls being um like a bad omen they were a bad omen and the last story that we read on our halloween episode as well like the evil sorcerer turns into an owl spoilers angel you know what um the first the first story in this collected tales the very first one one's called The Owl at the Cemetery. So when I picked up the book, so the listeners can't see, but I'll post it. But here's the collected work, The Weeping Woman. The very first, so I open it. I'm like, oh, I'm super excited. The Owl at the Cemetery.

I'm like, ah, okay. I'll just skip that one for now and let's see what else is in there. But I was like, holy crap, the first one right out of the bag. But again, when I'm reading these, I hear the voice of either my mom or relatives, and they all have that very similar familial vibe. I just, again, grew up with the tales. And when I was doing some of the research again it's just like four centuries back and it corresponds or it has variants with uh what's it uh media the greek in the greek where jason like left her and she like killed her kids um like the white woman in slavic tales uh lorelei um it's interesting that uh it really picks up around the um time of the conquest

of the aztecs uh cortez so this the cortez had an interpreter la la malinche she was a native um nawa um a tribes person whose father passed away and how fairy tale is this gangsta after the dad the chief dies so maybe she's a princess the mom sells her into slavery so true story and um cortez like basically like buys her gives her to one of the lieutenants like oh here's you know here's your woman um that guy leaves uh back to sp. So Cortez takes her on as a mistress and she translates. So she facilitated his conquest of the Aztecs. So she used, so she was her interpreter. She strategized for him. She would get the inside info, you know, speaking the language and he was able to circumvent, you know, traps, you know speaking the language and he was able to circumvent you know um traps you know and it

kind of furthered his bikes to this entire story right but but to to credit an angel's credit that is fairy tale as fuck when someone uses fairy tale as an adjective that is what i am imagining not a nice like fucking wedding or happy ending that happy ending. That is fairytale as fuck. That's fairytale as fuck. Sorry, Angel, I cut you off. Oh, no. But that's – Added to his mystique.

Because they already thought, you know, he was – he had divine – he was either divine or had some divine guidance. It's – he had some insight and track. So you could play that up because she was a cultural translator. Yeah. And so she facilitated that. So she became known. It was this kind of dichotomy where the Aztecs weren't super popular with a lot of the tribes in the area. So she was seen as this awesome person. You know, she was basically a slave with power. slave with power. And, you know, she was afforded speech when, you know, most of the time the women weren't allowed to speak. And also as she seemed kind of like as the mother of the mestiza, she originally, you know, had Cortez's son. So the first, you know, Spaniard, indigenous, you know, mestizos. So there's this aspect of you're the mother, you know, now, or you're this, you know, badass woman. But enter the Catholics. Always a rival.

Damn it. So I guess there was this friar. Let me see. So I guess there was this friar, let me see, Franciscan friar Bernardino Sagun, who wrote the Florentine Codex, which was like a really detailed manuscript of the illustrations, but it's the most remarkable accounts of non-Western culture ever composed. So in the Florentine Codex, he's documenting everything. And what's interesting is 10 years even before Cortes arrived, there was these omens that would herald the fall of, you know, the empire. And one of them was the sixth omen was that a woman was heard weeping and shouting. She cried out loudly at the night saying, oh, my children, where are we about to go? Or, oh, children, where shall I take you? And the Malinche and kind of La Tayorona kind of like merged as the stories foretold.

And there's aspects where the Malinche, you know, killed her child because it was Cortez's and Cortez left and left her after the conquest was over. And the stories kind of took off from there. and the stories kind of took off from there. So around kind of this expansion or kind of the Catholic influences is where you see this hero woman, this badass woman, she's an interpreter, great with languages, a strategist. She's basically a slave to kind of like a Eve figure

where it's like, how dare you betray your people and help these invaders? And, you know, some portions of Mexico, it's like, you know, you're a malinche, you're a traitor, a betrayer. And it's interesting that it shifts that perspective to you are a villain. Yeah, that is so fascinating. Bad PR. Right? Completely, completely turns people in a different direction on you. But I do I do love learning about how like different fairy tales come together or different stories or different historical figures get merged with the local with the local folk legend about a about a place like i feel like you you get that a lot with a like just you know speaking of catholicism of catholic saints where this this happens all the time where like a local a local folk legend gets merged with like an actual person who was there and they become sort of larger than life but i i had totally forgotten about the la llorona component until you brought it back

until you brought it back around i'm like oh full circle yeah she became um she kind of became or the the legend kind of merged with her and she kind of became um for some people, you know, she's the Llorona, that Malinche. But it was pretty interesting. And I know we were talking about the movie. So this one we definitely have to watch. So this was, they did The Curse of the Llorona, which I watched leading up to this because I was like, I'm going to do my homework. Let me watch it. Axel, my husband, loves horror. He watches it all the time. October is definitely his jam. And it's like nonstop, you know, horror movie. I do like the Hocus Pocus and like some of those other ones like Silver Bullet, but he goes on like the full on The Conjuring. And I guess this takes place in the Conjuring world. The stories

are interconnected. So I watch it and I'm like, oh, hey, that's that lady that was in Scooby-Doo. So it stars, what's her name? Linda Cardellini? Oh, her! I love her. Raymond Cruz,

who is from, I guess, The Closer, and Patricia Velasquez, who I know the best as Aksuna Moon from The Mummy. Mummy Moons. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. So she plays the mom. So I was researching this, and The Curse of the Llorona came up. I was like, oh, yeah, I watched that recently.

They talk about behind the scenes where Raymond Cruz basically did his research and brought like this protection bracelet with him. And in one of the scenes it breaks and it like the bead is like in half perfectly. And then they tried to recreate it by, you know, breaking the beads and it wouldn't happen. One of the actresses, Patricia Valquez, I guess as an actor, they write down on a piece of paper to say, dear innerquez, I guess as an actor,

they write down on a piece of paper to say, dear inner self, if it is your will, please allow me to see in a dream tonight, the struggle of the character. So they can get close. They had like a horrible, like dream,

I guess, scream that named it for daughter. And it was just like spooky for her. And then the Lindainda cardellini who's like oh well you know i don't believe in a lot of this stuff but she had a lot of spooky stuff happening in the hotel where like the door would slide open or she'd hear noises and i was reading through it's like man that's it's so interesting that at least you know for the um raymond cruz he came in prepared you know he

came in with his protection charms but he was ready for it the cast now has their own you know your own story now from you know just filming filming the movie the movie's cursed as fuck i'm gonna watch that tonight probably was it a fun watch angel oh yeah i mean it's dark obviously it's it's very tell as fuck but uh no it is a good watch it i'm not i'm okay with horror i get in trouble with the axle because i crack up more of like oh this is kind of more like comedy he's like no i was like this is hilarious please come on i feel like that's what i do it's good it's or i'll like you i'll predict it was like you know what'll write itself of these four events happen yeah that's that figures it's kind of a movie uh movie dynamic then it happens like

you're analyzing the movie it's like no you know movie people don't like few things everything is basically the same thing recycled over so everything has a formula it's like i can't help if i pick up on it but he hates that I do that. But yes, I recommend The Curse of the Llorona. It is a good film to watch. I definitely want my sisters to watch it. I don't think they've watched it. I want to watch it

with my mom. I don't think she does not like scary movies. Well, then she shouldn't have inflicted tales of horror upon you as a child. This is her punishment. One hundred percent. Oh, goodness.

But what I tell you, I went down the rabbit hole. I just there was just so much stuff, so much stuff to read on. So I'll provide you links to all of this stuff. Yeah, I want to link to that book because it sounds like that book's got a bunch of other amazing stories in it. Oh, yeah. There's one where it's like they're in a wagon, and they see this horse come by, and they just get the woman on it. They get the heebie-jeebies, so they all huddle inside of their—I'm picturing Oregon Trail wagons. so they all huddle inside of their you know i'm picturing orient trail wagons and the woman gets off the horse and circles the wagon and they're like oh my god oh my god it's probably that so they leave so there's footprints for the woman but no horse footprints and it's like one of the

stories like documented from somebody from like from texas and i'm like dang but a lot of variations so sorry if i absorbed a lot of the episode time but um oh good stuff no this was never at all yeah never apologize that was amazing and like such good history sorry go on kelsey oh i did want to ask just uh points wise since there are so many tales or versions, how did Abby rate with was murdered, died very young and she drowned? There are versions of all three exist. Again, one of them, some variations are cautionary tale of abusive, you know, abusive spouse is where, um, the husband does kill her. Um, and more of the kind of popular one again, where it's, uh, a young native woman where it's, you know, the rich Spaniard, um,

um, you know, dally's with her, but, you know, can't stay with her because the class stations or loses interest in her, um, also exist. So that's the interest when you folks were were were doing your your predictions like oh the specific tale from again that just one person you know wasn't gonna have all those elements but as you were saying i'm like yeah that yeah i'm like that variant exists yeah that variant exists yes that variant exists. Yeah, that variant exists. Yes, that variant exists. Sometimes she's a ball of fire, by the way. And then, yeah, Kelsey, sometimes she's a shapeshifter.

Yeah, so I think Abby got three points. I think I got one because I don't think she eats the children. I haven't seen a variant that eats the children. What about controls memories I think I just got one point maybe scars your memories yeah it fucks with your memories you're never the same

well damn it that's okay I mean you know we don't have to give me points for every variant we can just give me the points from one uh from the one that angel that angel read but uh you know when you kind of go back over it it does like it it's even more it's even more interesting to me to know to know that her story was merged with uh the malinche because you could because you just you can just hear that in every in every variation that you just mentioned of like oh yeah i can see that um of how of how those two stories would have sounded similar i'm so glad that i know that now thank you angel for the history lesson oh yeah. No. I had so many tabs open. I'm like, oh my gosh. And it was just the next click and the next click. And then some of them for me,

I wasn't familiar. So like the Weissfrauenweiber, I can't, I don't know, whatever. It's a Germanic folk. That one, I'm like, I don't know what that one is i was like oh what okay they're part of elves that lived in alfheim okay it's a white woman they're like curse was like okay i was like like ripoff artist but i wasn't familiar with that one same thing about the lore of lives like i'm like i don't know about that one and i know jason and the argonauts but i wasn't familiar with that other aspect so i was reading through there are tales that intersect um oh where's one where it's an african tale um uh yeah folk a folk tale which originated um in dahami in togoland in africa and it was

introduced to the united States by African-Americans who were brought to America as slaves. But yeah, lots of, there's a French one, French folklore, and it was just so interesting going outside of what I'm used to and seeing that common element. Absolutely. And it makes sense that there's so many different forms of these stories from all over the world because I think the fear that your mother will decide you're not worth it anymore and kill you is such a deep, it's such a primal, like deeply human fear, I think.

Yeah. And, you know, probably a human truth. I feel like that's not totally, I mean,ide is not unheard of yeah it's kind of a cultural norm it's it's it's like when you hear you know um just it's it's taboo in general across cultures yeah so yeah definitely taboo but not like but not as rare as people think. People love to talk about how a mother's love is unlike anything else in the world. And every mother loves her children with the same amount of intensity and every mother loves her children with the same amount of unconditional love. love uh when that's that's not that's not true um that's certainly not true across the board to to varying degrees but uh yeah i don't know the the the lots and lots of fairy tales about the fear that your mother's love is in fact conditional upon something else is deeply terrifying i'm conflicted on the fix because obviously a good way to fix the tale is like okay you don't kill your kids there's a fix but

then you wouldn't have the creepiest story ever right and then you wouldn't have that um you know definitely kept me away from the canal growing up so it's like oh it's almost like it's like the necessary evil i don't know maybe the other fix is that the children um are being pricks and they're hiding on purpose and keeping her from going into heaven by hiding like oh you can't find us and they have their own ghost adventures and their own mythos. That would have been a nice, I think I would do a fix where they have their spinoff series, I suppose, about the, you know, kids of the Yorona and their shenanigans and them hiding, you know, hiding from the Yorona on purpose to punish her and keep her away from, from heaven. I think that would be my fix. That's excellent.

I would love like a mini series on that. I mean, that would just, that'd be amazing. I would like, yes, that would be incredible. I want that so bad.

Now I'm kind of imagining like what that, what that would be like. And I want that really badly. You know, I actually just recently watched the haunting of bligh manor and it reminds me a little bit of that where she it's the lady of the lake i don't know if either of you have seen it it's excellent yeah it's a one season horror drama oh my gosh um if either of you watch it you will probably ugly cry at the end because it's really more of a drama than it is like a horror. There are some scary parts. But it's like this lady of the lake and she's forgotten who she is because she's been dead for so long and just kind of walking the grounds at night. And she just basically will accidentally kill a child because she thinks it's hers and she's like yes this is what i've been looking for and she takes it into the lake with her and it drowns oh my god they they drown anyone really not just kids but like literally anyone that she comes across um and it's so eerie and i so that's what i want i want the person who directs and writes the haunting of

bly manor and of hill house if you haven't watched that oh my gosh in both incredible series the first one's much more of a horror the second one is more of a drama i'd say but beautiful absolutely beautiful okay it's directed by the same person yes um hold on real fast okay okay add that to the october list make axel happy i'm like look what i found it's supposed to be really after it is oh my gosh mike but it's uh created by mike flagan, and he hasn't done any The Haunting of since. So that's your next one, Mike. Okay. Mike, good old buddy.

But I don't know. The Haunting series is just so beautiful. It's tragically beautiful. Anyway. Thank you. Well, if it made you cry, it's gonna make me cry absolutely god i'm gonna cry i'm a crier abby you will absolutely lose your mind the second season because it like each season is a kind of like its own thing um so yeah openly weeping oh no it's very gay oh i'm in yes yeah oh the podcast i'm in super gay also oh my god i forgot

like the most important oh my god the most important thing about our podcast geez it's really freaking gay yep yep there are fruits everywhere. Lots of them. And it's magnificent. It is magnificent. It's magnificent gayness. Today, I am going to be reading to the two of you from my favorite book to go to when we need something short to finish an episode. The Turnip Princess and Other Newly Discovered Fairy Tales by Franz Xaver von Schoenworth. Excellent.

Because they're often very short and sometimes extremely nothing. So I am going to give the two of you a choice of which one you would like to hear. Ooh. Choose your own adventure. I love it. You may hear either The Turnip Princess, which is the titular story

of this book. I'm already sold. Or you may hear a story that I found just randomly flipping through it that is somehow both

very nothing and also very what the fuck that's the one i want immediately see i was sold on the turn up but now i'm like oh wait what i want nothing plus what the fuck okay well here you go i sorry. Do you want us to make predictions? I do want you to make predictions. This story is called Don't Get Mad. Don't Get Mad. What do you think Don't Get Mad is about, kids? Somebody getting mad. Kelsey, you want to do your predictions first, and then we'll do Angel's?

Yeah. Do I need three or how many? You need... I i'm gonna say three the story's about two and a half pages okay somebody gets real mad it's my first prediction excellent uh second prediction i really don't know so i'm gonna say there's a toad okay excellent stuff those are always the best thirdly i predict that it ends with somebody like saying that and we're still waiting to see what happens today and i'm sitting here on the stove like you know that's perfect i love that that's excellent that what the fuck ending that's the best endings in any fairy tale

all right angel what do you think happens in it don't get mad okay i think there's a crime involved i won't say what crime but some sort of crime happens some kind of crime could be misdemeanor it could be felony know, one of those. Points of clarification on that. Yeah. When you say crime, do you mean it would be considered a crime by our standards today? Or is it a crime according to medieval peasants in Austria? Oh, man. You're making it way too specific i was like oh i was just

like you know don't steal a horse don't bang a horse you know you're common maybe that's too specific and probing a question i withdraw harassing our guest all right i'm sorry i'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll stop. I'm like, wherever they overlap, I guess. The ones that are the worst crimes. Maybe a curse is invoked. Okay. There's a curse.

There's a crime. And? Curse, a crime, and a witch. A curse, a crime, and a witch. I love it. Excellent. It could be a story of its own. I want all of our predictions to come true into one story.

That's what I really want. Okay. Here we go. A farmer had three sons. The eldest said to him, Father, I'd like to have my inheritance now so I can travel. The father gave his son the inheritance, which was 100 guilders in all,

and the son left home. A priest gave him a job as a farmhand. When the priest noticed that the boy had lots of money on him, he said, let's have a contest, and I'll stake as much money as you now have. Whoever loses his temper first also loses the bet. Nice. Well, you can imagine how this went as there are three sons. The first son agrees to the wager. He was supposed to go out and plow the priest's field and the priest gave him two oxen

to do the job. The oxen were so stupid and useless that he wasn't able to plow a single straight furrow. And so the boy began to swear up a blue streak. And the priest came running up and asked, have you lost your temper? And the boy says, yes, of course I have.

Who wouldn't be furious? Well done, says the priest. Hand over your money. I love Abby said that with so much excitement. Like, use your temper? Are you mad? You got them in the act. You mad, bro?

You mad, bro? You mad, bro? That's a good title right there. You mad, bro? So the boy surrenders the money and he goes home to his father empty handed and he tells his dad all about how he lost his inheritance. So now the second son also wants his inheritance in advance. His father gives him 100 guilders. He goes out. He works with the very same priest.

He falls into the exact same trap. He turns his money over to the crafty priest and comes home. Now, as you might imagine, there is the third son. The third and the youngest and the best son. The youngest, best, clever son. This one's name is Hans.

Oh, I love a Hans. Love a Hans. Love a Hans. Love an Ivan. Good stuff. So Hans also wants his inheritance and his father's like, you're not any smarter than either of your brothers. Hans, love and Ivan. Good stuff. So Hans also wants his inheritance. And his father's like, you're not any smarter than either of your brothers.

Like, just stay here. That's rude. That's love. That's some love. It's tough love. It's the tough love. Sounds like my mom. I don't think you're going to do any better, Han.

Thanks, mom, for the support. Yeah, exactly. Hans does not care for his father's lack of support and is now even more determined to leave home. So he begs his father to give him the inheritance. His father surrenders, gives him 100 guilders, hans goes out into the world wouldn't you know it he encounters the exact same priest and was hired as a farmhand and then the priest makes him the exact same offer he had made the other two and hans asks if the priest is interested in quadrupling the wager after all he has to win back what his brothers had lost. And so the two agree to the

contest with higher stakes. So the next day, Hans is given the same stupid oxen that his brothers were, but he lets the oxen do as they please and just kind of whistles cheerfully, walks behind the plow, zigzags all over the field. And when the priest goes outside and sees what's going on, he says, well, my my boy how do you feel about your team oh these oxen have no idea what they're doing so i'm just letting them do whatever they want does that make you mad yeah he's flipping it i love that not at all the priest lied you can take their harnesses off now i don't know it's fine the next day hans had to tend the cows it was hot outside and the animals were running in circles to avoid bee stings a cattle dealer came along hans sold him all the cows except for the very weakest

one which he herded between two trees right next to each other in the woods. The weak cow got caught between the trees and couldn't move. Hans decided to lie down in the grass and he began whistling a jaunty tune. The priest comes by and asks about his cows. Oh, they're all lost, Hans answered, except for that skinny one over there, which is stuck between the trees. Any chance you're annoyed? Wow. I know. I already lost.

Wow. Are you already annoyed? How dare you, Hans? Angel, my guy, it gets so much worse. At first, there was some respect I used to have to mow the lawn as a kid as a chore but here's the thing my parents would use it as a punishment so we do it incorrectly on purpose

because my dad would get pissed off that's not how you do it and he'd do like the majority of it I'm like I'm such a genius so mad respect for Hans at the beginning but I was was like, dang, that's killing all the cows. That's kind of jacked. Okay. Yeah, it's a little fucked up.

Also, as we enter the next part of the story, I am just going to give a light trigger warning for animal cruelty in the rest of this story. So this is where the part that's really just genuinely Hans starts doing some fucked up shit. God damn it, Hans. If that's not something that you can listen to, gentle listeners, I would skip to the end

of the episode. All right. Moving on. Okay. So the cows are all lost quote unquote uh and hans asked the priest are you annoyed and the priest said not at all i can always buy others the priest was pretty sure that cows were not worth 400 guilders on the third day hans was supposed to tend the pigs he herded them over to a swampy spot a hog dealer happened to be passing by and hans told him that the pigs were for sale and a deal was struck all he wanted was the tail of one of the animals so the tail was duly struck off one of the animals

and he stuck it into a spot on the meadow and took a little nap. The fog. I know. Here we go. When the priest came by to see how the pigs were faring and he really honestly should have figured by now that something was going to happen to his animals.

He found the farmhand fast asleep and the pigs had vanished. He demanded to know what had happened to his livestock. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Hans told him that the pigs had sunk down into the meadow and all that was left was the one tail sticking up in the air. He went over to the tail as if he was going to pull the pig up by it, but the tail stayed in his hand. Look, he said,

the tail's already come off. The pigs must all be dead. Are you by any chance angry? Hans is a little sociopath. Not at all, the priest replied, and he scratched himself behind the ears. He had no idea what to do with Hans. He was doing his best to make him lose all his worldly goods. I'm going to add a further addendum because I forgot about this part to my

trigger warning. In addition to animal abuse, there is person abuse. Specifically, like someone's about to get beat up real bad. I hope it's Hans. Oh, God. I mean, probably not, but... In the evening, the priest called the farm handover.

Hans, I'm going to have to put a watchman in the garden because some thieves have been sneaking into it at night. Can you stay in there tonight and make sure that nothing is taken? Here's a nice heavy stick. If the intruder doesn't speak up after three warnings, you can go ahead and beat him as hard as you can. If anything is stolen, you lose our contest. That wasn't part of the deal, but. Yeah, amending the parts of the deal. At the same time, Hans has been selling all of his livestock.

That's true. I think selling them is funny. I don't, obviously not like. Maming them. Milling the poor pigs. Yeah. But selling them is pretty funny. not like maybe pigs yeah but selling them is pretty

funny I I feel like there's a very clear fix for this story because Hans is obviously supposed

to be the protagonist he's just not you know it's it's a dark it's a dark

fair deal yeah we're supposed to be rooting for him Austria damn Austria It's a dark fair deal. Yeah. We're supposed to be rooting for him. Austria. Damn Austria.

So Hans is guarding the garden. The clever priest sent his cook into the garden to fetch something for him. She tiptoed in, but Hans heard her anyway. He shouted, who's there three times in a row so quickly that the cook didn't have a chance to answer the boy jumped up and beat her so badly she couldn't move an inch i know okay wow first of all the priest sent her in there like knowing okay both of these guys are bullshit. Like. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. That's dang. Although let me chime in and say that's assault and battery. What a crime. I'm just saying. Oh, there have been several crimes so far. I think the curse is the story itself. The story is cursed.

Yeah. And it's not over and it is getting worse. Oh my God. Okay. So the boy jumps up, beats her so badly she couldn't move an inch. The priest heard the screaming and asked what was going on. I was just following your orders, Han said. The cook was about to steal something and I beat her up

so badly she's half dead. Are you upset with me? The priest did not reply and just walked the cook back to the house. Well, also being concerned isn't like being concerned and like, yeah, you gotta go. That's not

necessarily like losing your shit and getting upset or getting mad. That's just like common fucking sense. Exactly. Like there's a difference between losing your temper over something inconvenient and like getting mad at someone for legitimate reasons. Yeah. Although, I mean, the priest fucking did that on purpose and like knew what he was doing. No, he sucks too. A lot.

I hate this story. Yeah. I told you that this story was both like very nothing and also what the fuck. You know, somebody gets real mad and it's me. It's me. Don't get mad, Kelsey. These people need to run into the la llorona and then they'd be straight out quick she needs to get in there and like fucking oh my god she needs to get in

here and fuck some guys up okay it's not over it's close. But in my opinion, the worst is still to come. Oh, God. This is much more the trigger warning bit for the dog stuff. Animal stuff. Oh. Dogs? There's a dog. Oh, God.

Doesthedogdie.com? Do I need to go? Do I need to log in and check the website? This story would not be favorably rated on the does the dog die.com so just just brace yourselves okay the next day was a holiday and many guests were expected at the priest's home the cook was in bed recovering from her injuries and a new cook was not so easy to find the priest told hans to make a fire at the hearth and to cook up some kind of stew and he mustn't forget to include potatoes and to throw parsley on top

hans followed every order to the letter and while the meat was cooking up in the pot he took the priest's dog whose name was Parsley. Okay, that pretty knew what was going on. Come on. And put them both in the concoction. That was so fucked up. What the fuck? We were not kidding.

The priest kind of easily wanted like a shrimp, I don't know, bisque, anything. Really, those are the two i those are the two ingredients they selected come on something i don't know rabbit stew why would why would you name your cat and dog potatoes and parsley and then tell a sociopath don't forget to clearly a violent man they're both like serial killers i'm pretty sure of it and also the pork who's almost dead i just yeah wow please finish this story that they kill each other um i'm going please finish this story i'm almost done i swear the priest returned from church looked around the kitchen and then asked hans whether he had been sure to include potatoes and parsley wink hans replied oh yes for sure but I had trouble catching Parsley. The priest nearly fainted.

He lifted the lid off the pot, and his faithful cat was right in there, baring its teeth at him. All that remained of his dog was a bushy tail. Oh, potatoes. He didn't bother to prep them? Parsley was all the spice he needed. I suppose. So he

saved the cat at least? Well, because he was just supposed to sprinkle parsley on top. Oh my god. Fuck you, Hans. He cooked the potatoes and then put parsley on top. Fuck you, Hans. He cooked the potatoes and then put parsley on top. Fuck you, Hans. What the fuck?

The priest could no longer keep quiet and he called Hans an idiot. That's it? That's it. That's it? An idiot? An idiot? Oh, wait. It gets worse. Are you angry by any chance?

Hans asked calmly. How can I not be angry? I have nothing to serve my guests, the priest shouted. Priorities? What a good host. Fuck everyone in this story, except for the cook and Parsley.

And Parsley! How is this worse than La Llorona? Like, these are two of the worst tales we've ever told on the same episode. Oh my god, I know, like, legitimately, I know that she drowned

her children, but I feel like this is worse. There's no variant where she drowns them in stew, though. I'm pretty sure that variant does not exist. Oh my god. Anyway, so Hans won his bet. He took the priest's money and left him high and dry. No livestock, no money, no supper, no cook, and no pets. No supper. He raced back home and told everyone the story of his cleverness. The end. Oh, man.

Yeah, that's why I don't read from that book very often. This book is so nothing and so like fucking crazy. I hated that. Yeah. Somebody does get real mad. It's me.

Hmm. Um, I think the easy and easy fix for that one is just hans and the priest right around the time that like hans sells the pigs um get into a fist fight oh yeah and they murder each other and then because the priest doesn't have anybody to leave his little farm to the cook inherits it along with potatoes and parsley and they all live happily ever after that or the dog like bites like fucking kicks the shit out of hans and oh i like that too and then the cook is all that's left i don't know i just hate it i like that too angel got two points

for a crime and a curse that stole the whole story oh my goodness great wow um yeah okay i i wasn't expecting that level of crime um oh my god um i'm so sorry yeah trigger warnings were needed i'm glad you said that just to brace yourself for it like i like how the appetite the moose boosh was like a mother that drowns yeah right like oh don't worry. It gets worse. Welcome to Fairytale Fix. Horror story. Oh, my God. I just, I knew I had to read that one at some point. And I wanted to give you the option. But, like, I had to read that one at some point because while I was reading it, I just kept saying, what the fuck?

What the fuck? What the fuck? That is exactly why we are here. I am so glad you read it i mean i hated it yeah but geez wow yeah okay well i needed the two of you to know i needed the two of you to be cursed with that story the way i was cursed with that story that's our podcast yeah angel do you do you want to tell the tell the folks where they can find you on the internet not thinking about this story attempting to scrub your brain oh my gosh i oh goodness uh well you can find our podcast under fantasticworldspod.com. I'm on the social media.

Espinoza916 will usually find me, whether it's on Instagram or Twitter. And you know what? If you have some more Llorona stories and variants, absolutely send them my way. If like Kelsey, you're like, ¿Qué es esto, what is this? Those stories are also,

uh, are welcome as well. Excellent. Well, thank you so much for listening to fairy tale fix. If you enjoyed this awful, awful story, both of them, of them you can subscribe

and leave us a review on Apple or you can leave us a rating on Spotify please tell us if you hated both of them like leave us a review referencing how much you hated that story just be honest

that's all we ask and give us a little bit of a let us know a little engagement um you can also follow us on instagram facebook twitter at fairy tale fix pod and you can also find us on patreon where you get an episode a bonus episode every other month the bonus episodes are always wacky. Angel knows he's a Patreon, or a patron of Patreon. I've got stickers like on everything. My little fairy tale thing stickers is like, boop, boop, boop, boop.

I love it. And also please email us all of your favorite fairy tales, your favorite folklore, favorite nursery rhymes, and other such things. All your La Llorona tales at info at fairytalefixpod.com. I think for my fix of the Llorona, you know, the tale of the weeping woman who, in a fit of jealousy, drowned her kids. My fix would be to have the kids have their own lore as well and kind of play keep away

because the Yorona cannot enter heaven until she finds the souls of her children. But they're hiding on purpose as a final F you, you drowned us. That's my fix. Yes. I love it. Excellent. And in the extremely cursed story of Don't Get Mad, both the priest and Hans get so mad so much more quickly with each other that they beat each other to death, leaving the cook and potatoes and parsley to inherit the entire farm.

And they all lived. Oh my God. I'm sorry, Kelsey. And then none of them lived happily ever after. The end.