Fairy Tale Fix - 55: Thumbelina: Not Like Other Girls (ft. Sequoia Simone)

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

We are joined by a very special guest, Sequoia Simone of podcasts But Make It Scary and Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them! Sequoia keeps our “wintertime is for Hans Christian Andersen” theme going with the very cute story of Thumbelina, which surprises us by how NOT sad it is, and Abbie tells the Chinese story of Li Chi Slays The Serpent.

I feel like we're not as in sync as we usually are. No, I don't think so either. It's probably my fault because I'm so hungover. I'm sorry. We are. We are gonna make it work. Hello, listeners, and welcome back to Fairytale Fix. I'm Abby. I'm Kelsey. And this is the podcast where we can never get a correct intro down ever. Not once. Not to save our lives.

Yeah. This is the fairytale podcast where we read fairytales to each other and fix them for a modern audience. And we have a very, very special guest today. Right. We have been joined by Sequoia Simone from But Make It Scary. Welcome, Sequoia. Hello. I'm so excited to be here. We are so excited to have you here. I love your show. I have listened to every episode. So I feel a little bit like we got a celebrity on our show. It makes me feel so special. Oh, well, thank you for listening to the show. I'm so excited that you listened to it. Sequoia, tell us a my show, But Make It Scary, is a romance horror podcast. It is a show where I bring on a guest, we take a romantic movie, and we rewrite it as a horror film. And it's just like a really silly fun. Sometimes it's really scary. Sometimes it's really silly.

We sort of run the whole gamut. So it's a ton of fun. And you two have been on it before. We sure have. We did it ever after. Which was great. It was very fun. Yeah, we turned it into a,

a witch story. Gotta love a creepy witch. And I mean, we just absolutely love witches, um, fairy tale witches. We are villain sympathizers, a 100%.

Uh, so we had to basically ruin that movie that everyone loves so much. I feel like everybody loves ever after, which has never been my favorite. We talked about that a little bit. We actually had a listener yell at us for coming after Ever After so hard. We did. We did. I actually, that's how I felt listening.

So I was talking, we were talking earlier and Sequoia did an episode on Shakespeare in Love, which is one of my favorite romantic movies, ripped it to shreds. I really did. I feel like I really got a taste of my own medicine for coming forever after so hard on our show. Yeah, and we did we recorded for like two hours. We talked about just about the movie for like a solid hour. And then we were like, Oh, I guess we have to do what the podcast is. No, that was so much fun talking to the two of you about Ever After and sort of like all of our all of our problems with it. But also why? I don't know. It is.

It's still a classic. It's a classic fairy tale movie. I love it. I love it. It's a fun movie. Yeah, it's fine. I liked our version better. I absolutely want to see our version come to life on the screen. I think that would be so much fun, especially I think think Drew Barrymore makes a great, like, scary queen.

Yeah. She deserves to. Oh, yeah. She deserves to. Drew Barrymore deserves her villain era. Yeah, let's give it to her. So we definitely fixed that story. Sequoia, would you say that, like, when you are with the romantic movies you do the most often, would you? This is not like a scripted question, but I just I just thought of it. Would you say that you are fixing most of the romantic movies that you do by turning them into a horror story?

with the ones that like really don't age very well um some of those romantic movies from like the late 90s early 2000s are just so problematic um and making them into scary movies really does really does fix them i agree it's so fun i wanted to ask what is your favorite childhood fairy tale this is real this one was really hard for me because i well there's well two things first i don't think that i had a ton of fairy tale exposure outside of the general like disneyfied you know experience um i was like a greek mythology child nice that's very cool i i was doing something i had some kind of a vibe um and then so so when i when i when i really had to think about it i came down to little red riding hood and that's because um when i was like five or six years old, my little sister was like two. For Mother's Day, we made a Little Red Riding Hood short film for my mom with my dad. So my little two-year-old sister played the wolf.

Oh, so cute. And she also played my mother. I was Little Red, clearly, because I had to be the star. Absolutely. Have to be the center of attention. At all times. And my dad played Grandma and the Hunter. I love it.

And it's just like, it's one of those things that has gone down in like, you know, we recorded I love it. onto dvds a few years ago i think that now it it's now on youtube like like unlisted for my family um but like it's it's it's within the family lore uh and a lot of the things that uh you know the cute silly stuff that my little sister at two years old playing the wolf said is just like things that my family says all the time i like um is how she uh what did she say she was always like all the better in family we're like you deal um so cute it's it's the most adorable thing so that that is my favorite fairy tale because it has that very special you know memory for me absolutely that is the cutest story i have ever heard oh my my gosh. That's a flawless answer. That is so cute. Oh my God. Red Riding Hood is also my favorite childhood fairy tale. It's also just really good. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fun one. And it's fun too, because I don't know, when you grow up,

like Red Riding Hood just has so many like layers. It's like cute when you're a kid and then it can be really sexy as an adult or like, or can be really scary i don't know i just or it's oh yeah yes i have so many reasons i think red riding hood is the sexiest fairy tale which might be problematic but i don't care i was in um a little red riding shame on this podcast growing up and my crush was the wolf so I feel like that just set the tone for the rest of my life oh yep that's it that would be it such a good story

I'm excited to do that one that does always remind me though of I know that Kelsey has seen it I don't know if you've seen it Sequoia but it's the original Broadway cast recording of Into the Woods. Yes. Okay. Yes. Excellent. I'm so glad we're all on the same page. So that song, it's Red Riding Hood and the Wolf Song. It's a hello little girl for those of you who have not seen the musical. And so I always associate that story as being kind of sexy because the,

the Wolfman costume has like abs. Yeah. And he's dressed in like a cute little coat and he has a giant cod piece attached to the costume. Like true. Cause they're definitely trying to say something about yes growing up and like sexual awakenings and also predators exactly one song in this musical so like i my mother tells me that uh my sibling and i used to rewind that scene a lot because it gave you feelings it made it we were feeling things and she would always and we'd

be we were like yeah we just really like the song mom and she'd be like uh-huh sure yeah i know yeah you do you kids you weird little girls that's funny um Do you have a fix for how Little Red Riding Hood should end? Or do you remember how the original ends? I don't think I do remember how they... Well, no, the original, original ends that, like, the wolf eats everybody and then it's just kind of, like, over. Right? Is that... I mean, this is a fairy tale that dates back like it's i think one of the absolute oldest yeah i think there's

multiple endings to it yeah and when i remember the most is where they end up um you know the hunter comes and saves grandma and little red and fills the wolf up with rocks. And then, yeah, the wolf like falls in a well or the wolf just like dies because it can't move. Yeah. Yeah. Throw him into a river or something like that.

So I don't know. Do you have a fix for it or a scary fix? Okay. So here's the thing about this fairy tale is like, don't send your kid into the woods by herself like like the most obvious fix is to be like mom what what is it what is it what's so important that you have to do today that you couldn't possibly go with little red through the woods to take some stuff to your mom. Like, like, what is?

Okay, this is also I feel like it's always important to remember this is an old story. Like remember, like in this, I don't know, obviously, we weren't around in the 70s. But like kids in the 70s did like, their own thing. Parents were like, Okay, you're five years old, go outside and play for five hours bye i'll see you for dinner exactly i'll come back till the sun goes down i do not want to see you i mean yeah definitely like different time different time but like there is actively wolves in the forest so like at minimum send little red with something that she can protect herself with also has little red never seen a wolf or like a drawing of a wolf like why the fuck doesn't

she know what a wolf looks like somehow incredibly sheltered but also very like yeah sent into danger there's a great meme that is going around that's like i strive to be the kind of grandmother that like you can wreck like you can distinguish between a wolf that your granddaughter can distinguish between a wolf i think that's so funny it's the the fairy tale is like wild you know um but I but I think like mom comes with you through the woods. Mom knows what a wolf is. And mom is like. I don't know, brings like a machete.

Mom kills the wolf in the woods. We're done. We're done with that scenario. End of story. end of story but i think if there was like oh if i was trying to find a way because this is already really scary but if i was trying to find a way to like make this scarier um i think that i would have the wolf eat little red just like immediately in the woods and then go eat grandma. And then mom comes to investigate the scenario. And the biggest chunk of the story is like mom dealing with the wolf

situation. That sounds fun. I love that. Yeah. I like that. I like that. It's because my original, my,

my, like the thing that Kelsey and I keep bumping into is a lot of the time, we read these stories, that the premise itself is so awful that it's tempting to make the fix. Well, that she just didn't have to do that. Just don't do that. Yeah. Just don't do that. Yeah. Right. yeah um right but then but then you wouldn't have the story at all so you so it's it's it's the challenge is often to pick a different point rather than just the premise to to fix but i like

what you i like what you did uh with your fix for a little for a little red where it's like it just we just change protagonist exactly like maybe it's not about this wolf like like creeping on this child anymore maybe we switch that up a little bit and be like you get something really scary up front and then um introduce afterwards more of the like uh anticipation and like suspense yeah which i think is a fun way to sort of structure a scary story absolutely i like that a lot that sounds like a great feature-length film hollywood get on it hollywood i've got 60 more riddles. I mean, that actually like kind of segued nicely or maybe even answered my answered like our next question we were going to ask you, which is how how would you make Little Red Riding Hood scarier? But I think, yeah, that's that's how I would do it. Yep. That is how that

is how it would go. Yep. Make it more overtly horrifying, which seems very on brand for you. Oh, she can't be stopped. Going back to your podcast briefly before we get into the actual tale that you're going to tell us, what inspired you to start a horror fan fiction podcast? a horror fan fiction podcast? I was thinking a lot about format and what I wanted a format of a podcast to look like for me. And at that point in time,

my favorite show was called Punch Up the Jam. Okay. And they listen to a song, dissect the song, and then rewrite the song. And I was like, I really like that format of the podcast. How could I do something similar but with movies? And at the time, I have been sort of like my whole life a connoisseur of romance. a connoisseur of romance. And I was just starting to become a horror person. Like I was not a not a scary movie person at all for the majority of my life. And then in the last few years, I really started to like it and get into it. And so you know, that kind of like history with romance, getting started into horror and thinking about those things in the context of the kind of format that I wanted for a show because I knew I also you know I already had a show with me and a and

a second host we have a co-host scenario I knew I wanted to go into a second show with the idea that there was a different guest every time so it was know, not as like, not as much of like a fun, I had this, you know, a crazy idea while I was in the shower sort of a scenario and more of my producer brain clicked on and I was trying to make a lot of different things fit together as to what I wanted the podcast to accomplish. That is such a professional answer. Yeah, it's a blessing and a curse. No, I love that so much. And now I kind of want to check out Pump Up the Jam because that sounds

really cool. Very good. That does sound fun. so much um and now i kind of want to check out pump up the jam because that sounds that sounds really cool very good that does sound fun um yeah absolutely go listen to but make it scary if you haven't already um it is so much fun and sequoia has amazing guests like uh the villain was right yes pod and prejudice one of our favorites uh mike schubert we love shubes from potterless he's great so many great christmas i do i do oh my god i can't wait that's right um i so so that came out for halloween um because i do the dumb thing where on halloween we take a horror movie and make it into a christmas movie because that's what I want to do for Halloween. It's amazing.

It's so good. But make it Christmas. But make it Christmas. And we did Carrie. So go listen to a very Carrie Christmas. It's, it's, it's good.

I'm very excited to listen to that. Yeah, he's great. Yeah. Your show. Absolutely amazing. Everybody should listen to it. And now we're going to put you through a different kind of storytelling experience.

Sequoia, what story are you telling us today? Today, I'm going to tell you the tale of Thumbelina or Little Thumb or Little Tiny? Incredible. Oh, no, I didn't know it had all of those names. Thumbelina is just like an English translation of what the Dutch. Danish. Danish. Yep.

It's a Hans Christian Anders. It's Hans Christian Anders. Danish. Danish. Right? Yeah. Yep. Danish. It's a Hans Christian Anders. Yeah. Whatever the Danish word is, which I cannot say, I do not know how to say it, but it has had several iterations of English translation. And Thumbelina is actually one of the more recent ones. I mean, it's still many, many years ago translation, but one of the more recent translations that stuck. Nice. Yeah, I actually have this really old Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale book, which has Thumbelina on the cover. I think if you can see it, it has amazing artwork. So obviously I'll post it to our Instagram. But I noticed in this book, Thumbelina was called Little Toddy.

Little Toddy. That's a good one too. Which I thought was really cute. Okay. I think Thumbelina makes more sense though, because it's like she's the size of a thumb. But she's not the size of a thumb. She's smaller than a thumb. Oh, okay. Well, maybe before we go into more stuff, we should make predictions. Yeah. Did you have any more like background on Thumbelina that you wanted to give or do you want to give any background afterwards? This one is mostly an invention of Hans Christian Andersen.

It's not actually based upon other folklore for the most part. A little bit Tom Thumb, but Tom Thumb is doing a very different thing. He's just also tiny. So I thought that that was interesting. And so there's actually not like a lot of history or anything surrounding the story because it is an invention of his. a tradition surrounding Hans Christian Andersen in particular. So it's perfect that this episode is going to be coming out in early January. We usually do a Hans Christian Andersen story for wintertime. Yeah.

Or sad boy Christmas. We have sad Victorian bisexual boy Christmas. Oh my God. Incredible. An Oscar Wilde. Yeah, we will do like an Oscar Wilde story or a Hans Christian Andersen story or something of that nature. And we've discovered as we've been looking more into Hans Christian Andersen's life and the stories that he wrote that so many of them are absolutely loaded with romantic pining after someone that he was interested in in real life who did not want him back. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So just wondering if there was anything like that for Thumbelina. I know. I have not. So we just did The Little Mermaid. And I had this idea to make a timeline of Hans Christian Andersen's like love life and the fairy tales that correlate. So I haven't done it yet. And I wish I had.

I wish I had already because then I don't know. Thumbelina just sounds I think that one was written like in 1830. It was pre Little Mermaid, I believe. Yeah. It was one of his first, I think. But yeah, I'm super stoked. By the time this comes out, we'll post it again on the Instagram. You will see the HCA love line.

Yeah, we want to see. I want the love line. Amazing. I just want a series of Hans Christian Andersian anderson's life it sounds so interesting and i don't know i just love him so much i feel for i feel for him right yeah what a sad man he was okay well then so it's time for kelsey and I to make predictions about the story. Do you want to go first? Yes, I will go first. Since I have seen the animated movie, so I feel like I know too much about the story to make straight up predictions about what I think happens.

So Kelsey and I will be making predictions about how we think the original story differs from the animated film. Because I bet they made some stuff up definitely they had to up um i also did not watch the film so i'm also pretty i'm pretty fuzzy but i do is it too is is it would it be fair to predict no i don't think it would be I'm already crossing it off of my mind because like there I do remember that there was some like shockingly like stunningly racist things in the actual animated movie that

I'm guessing we're not like we're not present in the original fairy tale that's prediction number one. Okay. Thinking particularly of like the frogs. Oh, the frogs. So like no shocking racist themes.

Yeah, no, no stunningly. Oh my God. Oh my God. What am I watching right now? Like racism was in this story originally i don't think thumbelina and the fairy prince meet at all before the end i think it's one of those things where a prince stumbles upon her at the end and is like she's cute a classic i think they made up their first meeting for the movie so that it wouldn't seem quite so strange. Or the voice actor playing the prince would have something to do.

My third prediction on the changes, I don't think there's a beetle ball. All right. A beetle ball? A beetle ball. All right. A beetle wall. A beetle ball. Beetle ball. It's another one of those scenes that I remember being very questionable because I did. I did watch it recently enough as an adult for me to go like, what am I watching? It's something.

It's something. Did you watch the movie as prep for this or has it been a while since you've seen it too sequoia it's been a while since i've seen it but i uh it was one of my my favorites when i was a kid so i've seen it many many many times i haven't seen it in the last couple of years but what i can remember of it uh doesn't necessarily hold up to put it super mildly i do not remember the beetle ball i so i remember specifically not liking this movie as a kid i think it was because i didn't like the prince like i thought he was annoying um and i think it's think it was the same animators that

did Anastasia. And I also felt the same way about that guy. You didn't like Dimitri's face? No, I hated him. I hated Dimitri and his personality. Wow, that is so hot take.

That is spicy. I rewatched Anastasia recently and I loved it. I absolutely loved it. So I don't know why like child Kelsey was being so like precious about it, but I just thought he was like super annoying. I wasn't into it. And that's all I remember really about the movie. And, you know, kind of the basic storyline.

But I don't remember a beetle ball. I'm excited to watch this now afterwards. Didn't like that guy. Now I'm curious, was it the same voice actor too? I don't know. I don't think so. Okay. I was looking at the voice actors because I was like, who the heck was in this movie?

And like, Charo played the mom frog and they made the mom frog sort of look like her now that i know that that was charo that was really interesting but gilbert godfried was the one i was thinking about gilbert godfried played the the beetle oh so good i love gilbert godfried i don't remember the beetles at all in this they were so scary i can't believe you watched this as a kid and don't remember the beetles i don't think i watched it very much because i didn't i i thought they were annoying i don't know i was a weird kid though yeah we've already established your hot takes, so. Yeah. Super strange, because the fairy prince, I thought he was super sexy. I loved him.

That floppy hair, the jawline, the wings, the tights. It's all about the floppy hair. Yeah. The tights. Absolutely loved it. Yeah, I don't know. I thought thought demetri was pretty hot too yeah what can i say i've always i've always liked um i don't know i like i like beards and old old dudes a lot so yeah you do i mean i was like obsessed with red riding hood and like the wolf i found the wolf very sexy so i just think i just have a different type anyway moving on i'm gonna make predictions now um because it's a hans Andersen story. I'm going to guess that there is actually an unhappy ending.

I really don't remember the cartoon, but I'm assuming like, come on, it has a happy ending, right? I'm going to say this one does not. The cartoon Thumbelina and the prince get married and fly off in like a fairy carriage together or something like that. So fairy carriage. Yep. Cute. I also want to predict that there So, fairy carriage. Yep. Cute. I also want to predict that there are some helpful mice. I feel like I've made this prediction before. It keeps coming up, but I really, I love fairy tale mice. They're my favorite.

They're almost always really helpful and sweet and not evil. So, that's my guess. And for a third prediction, I also want to predict that there's no love interest i think it's something to go with there's no love interest that's probably no because it's hold on hold on this is the hardest this is the hardest part of our podcast and i blame abby for wanting to do predictions and i likewise blame sequ Sequoia for making that sound really fun.

I'm pretty sure it's my fault. You were the original reason that this is so hard. It sounded really fun when Sequoia and Kim do it. Yeah, turns out that's a lot of editing on my part. Yep. There has to be a love interest. It's an unrequited love. I know that's probably too.

It's very Hans Christian Andersen-y, though. I feel like I'm going with some safe stuff. So yeah, unhappy ending, helpful mice, and an unrequited love. Okay, let's do it. This is Little Tiny by Hans Christian Andersen. Minorly edited down for lots of looking at flowers and being sad.

So on brand. So on brand. I love him so much. there once was a woman who wished very much to have a little child but she could not obtain her wish this is classic fairy tale stuff as also what happened with a little child yeah tom tom thumb also was the product of we want to have a child and we have to go to a witch. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is she going to go to a witch?

Well, it depends on the translation, whether it's a witch or a fairy. It's one of those things. She went to a witch or a fairy and said, I should so very much like to have a little child. Can you tell me where I can find one? What do you mean? Are you going to go take one? Take one from another family? Is there an unattended child somewhere?

Do you know of any orphans? Yeah. You got any extra yeah do you have any orphans i could just can i have one oh that can be easily managed said the fairy or witch you just go to the mall go to see if any kids are wandering around by themselves. It's the 70s. Go find some lashy kid. Go find a rogue child. Here is a barley corn of a different kind to those which grow in the farmer's fields and which the chickens eat.

Put it into a flower pot and see what will happen. At this point, you're like, is it going to grow a child from the ground? Weird. This person's in. Thank you, said the woman. Then she went home and planted it. And immediately there grew up a large, handsome flower, something like a tulip in appearance. Okay.

Aww. A tiny girl and a flower. Tiny girl and a flower. That's very cute. Yeah. Very delicate. I don't know if this is what she meant by a little child, but... It's like, how small can you make the child? And what if it wasn't a child?

What if it was just a maiden? Just actively like an adult woman, but really small. She was scarcely half as long as a thumb oh my gosh folks well it's misleading that is that's that's so tiny like she's even smaller than you think that she's gonna be she's really little i feel like that would actually be really i'm like i'm looking at my thumb and i'm trying to imagine a person like half as high and then trying to imagine being able to accurately distinguish their features. How close would I have to hold this tiny person? I don't know. How good is your eyesight?

I mean, it's getting worse. It's not 2020. I would have to hold her pretty close to my eyeball to distinguish and like how much sound can literally come out of that tiny of a person right now she's got the highest pitch voice yeah and you're like can you hear it can you even hear it do you have to get that get her really close to your ear in order to hear it yeah sonically i don't know that that works i don't it's magic tiny little jack and they gave her the name of thumbelina or tiny because she was so small spoiler spoiler alert the story is going to refer to her as tiny for the rest of the thing.

Thumbelina, we're throwing that out. I wish I'd made that one of my predictions so badly. A walnut shell, elegantly polished, served for her a cradle. A bed was formed of blue-violet leaves and a rose leaf for a counterpane. I was going to assume her little comforter. Her little comforter, rose leaf comforter. Okay. a large, ugly, wet toad crept through a broken pane of glass in the window and leaped right upon the table where Tiny lay sleeping under her rose leaf quilt.

What a pretty little wife this would make for my son, said the toad. Gross. Gross. I love toad bride groups. Like the most. Famously. Just incredible. Every time. She took up the walnut shell, which little tiny lay asleep in, and jumped through the window with it into the garden in the swampy margin of a broad stream in the garden lived the toad with her son he was uglier even than his mother oh that's like kind of rude yeah a little bit rude i'm sure that's objective attraction exactly attraction is relative yeah i'm sure he's a very handsome toad.

We will place her on one of the water lily leaves out in the stream, said the old toad. It will be like an island to her. She is so light and small. And then she cannot escape. She cannot escape. I'm like, I don't know. I think like that's not exactly how buoyancy works. Like, I think she can. I think she could probably float away away. You know, you probably swim. She's that small. Like, she's really tiny.

But that doesn't mean she can't swim. Right. I don't know. I don't know anything about physics. This is like her first night on Earth. Right. Like, she just appeared. And this must all be very confusing for her i think there's there's an implication of passage of time that maybe i cut um but okay yeah but i mean she she emerged from the flower like it like a fully an

adult tiny woman so yeah she really hasn't had a lot to to to acquaint her with the world other than like this tiny walnut bed yeah and how would you learn how would you teach the tiny woman to swim you know that's true that's true a bowl put some water in it because falling into uh butter like melted, is probably a real concern for these tiny fairy tale people. That would be so bad. That has happened in one of our previous fairy tales. Oh, okay. Okay.

I was like, that's a really weird thing to come up with right off the top of your head. You got to have them actually learn to swim. I feel like that's important. Right. Right, right, right, right. It's a hazard of being so small. Yeah, so apparently she can't get off this water lily leaf. The tiny little creature woke very early in the morning and began to cry bitterly when she found where she was, for she could see nothing but water on every side of the large green leaf

and no way of reaching the land. The old toad swam out with her ugly son to the leaf. Calm down. Here is my son. He will be your husband and you will live happily in the marsh by the stream. Rude. You will. You will. Live happily. Here's my son. You're going to be happy. Deal with it.

The little fishies who swam around in the water beneath had seen the toad and heard what she said. So they lifted their heads above the water to look at the little maiden. she said so they lifted their heads above the water to look at the little maiden as soon as they caught sight of her they saw that she was very pretty and it made them very sorry that she must go live with the ugly toads what does hca got against toads and this is really driving this home and also implying that were she not pretty it it would be totally fine that she's being forced to marry a toad against her will. Exactly. They're like, oh, she's totally out of his league, though. We need to help.

That's the problem. That's the problem. So they assembled together in the water round the green stalk which held the leaf on which the little maiden stood and nodded away at the root with their teeth. Then the leaf floated down the stream carrying Tiny far away out of the reach of land. Tiny sailed past many towns. She's just like really. How long has she been on the leaf? Wow.

When was the last time she ate oh like when like the duration here is wild oh my god okay how long are we talking like she's many towns how big are the towns i have a lot of questions. She's very tiny. She's very small. The towns are probably also pretty small. She sailed past many towns, and the little birds in the bushes saw her and sang, What a lovely little creature! So the leaf swam away with her further and further until it brought her to other lands. Presently, a large cockchafer flew by that is the name of a beetle that's a kind of beetle that's a kind of beetle it's a kind of

beetle cockchafer cockchafer cool um there are beetles there is gonna be a beetle ball oh my god i don't i don't oh it's a cute beetle too i don't like it there is not no such thing as a cute beetle i'm really struggling with your it's so cute it has little oh my that is it's so fucking cute it's got little you have to google a picture of it right now because it's adorable if you were the size of half of a thumb and floating down a stream would you marry that beetle is my question i might oh it's so cute he's got like little flappy ear things it looks like kind of like a moth yeah he has some moth characteristics it it does have little antlers i guess that are kind of that are kind of neat i i don't know kelsey i'm not

kelsey kelsey likes bugs though like kelsey is the person who, like, she went to a nature center the other week and held a stick bug and was like, oh my god, it was the best day ever. Filled up my whole soul. Stick bugs are the coolest. Here's the thing is, like, this might be a cute cockchafer, but is it a nice one? Is it a nice one? That's the question we're about to we're about to answer. The moment he caught sight of her he seized her around her delicate waist with his claws and flew her into a tree.

He seated himself by her side on a large green leaf gave her some honey from the flowers to eat and told her she was very pretty though not in the least like a cockchafer. I can't with this word. I can't. It's going to keep happening. Sorry. He seems nice so far. He's given her food.

I don't know. I think he's negging her. He like, he's like, he like came up to her at the bar and bought her a drink and he's like yeah you're really hot like not like the girls i'd usually go for oh oh my gosh and we hate to see it after a time all the cock chafers turned up their feelers and said, she only has two legs. How ugly that looks. I mean, that's fair if you're used to six legs.

Then it's a little weird. It's a little weird. Although Tiny was very pretty. Then the cockchafer who had run away with her believed all the others when they said she was ugly and would have nothing more to say to her and told her she might go where she liked. Then he flew down with her from the tree and placed her on a daisy. And she wept at the thought that she was so ugly. Oh, my gosh. This is so sad.

Hans Christian Andersen. This is it's very ugly duckling. It's very like I think he felt very ugly. I don't know. It's interesting. It's interesting that like she was, she was so, she was too pretty for the, for the frogs, for the toads. But then she went over. According to those fish.

According to the fish. And then, and then she went over to the beetles and the beetles were like you're not hot there's just like a lot of mixed messages happening here it's interesting i just feel like every character in this story needs to learn that attraction is relative exactly everybody yeah everyone needs to calm down during the whole summer poor little tiny lived quite alone in the wide forest like a long passage of time it's like months that she's just like roughing it in the forest and then came the winter the long cold winter she felt dreadfully cold for her clothes were torn and she was herself so frail and delicate that poor little tiny nearly froze to death yeah she's so small she could drown in a raindrop like yeah exactly like the elements not for her

not for her near the wood in which she had been living lay a cornfield it was like her struggling through a large wood. She came at last to the door of a field mouse. Was helpful. Who had a little den under the corn stubble. Poor little tiny stood before the door just like a little beggar girl and begged for a small piece of barley corn. For she had been without a morsel to eat for two days. Please, sir. I'm so hungry.

You poor little creature, said the field mouse. Come into my warm room and dine with me. She was very pleased with Tiny. Yeah, I'm glad that she got something to eat eat it was touch and go there for a second i was worried about her yeah the elements no food she was very pleased with tiny so she said you are quite welcome to stay with me all the winter if you like but you must keep my rooms clean and neat and tell me stories, for I shall like to hear them very much. Fair.

That seems like a fair trade. Fair trade. Very fair trade. Very helpful mouse. Yay! I'm excited. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Oh, the best.

And Tiny did all the field mouse asked of her and found herself very comfortable. We shall have a visitor soon, said the field mouse one day. My neighbor pays me a visit once a week. He is very rich and learned. And if you could only have him for a husband, you would be well provided for indeed. But he is blind, so you must tell him some of your prettiest stories so now we've gone from the toads are ugly and she's pretty she's ugly because the

beetles don't like her this guy's blind so you have to tell him pretty stories so there's just like a lot going on with like yeah her her looks finally her personality gets a chance to shine which is nice tiny was obligated to sing to him and the mole fell in love with her because she had such a sweet voice but he he said nothing yet, for he was very cautious. A short time before, the mole had dug a long passage under the earth, which led from the dwelling of the field mouse to his own, and here she had permission to walk with Tiny whenever she liked.

But he warned them not to be alarmed at the sight of a dead bird, which lay in the passage i forgot about this part of the movie it's all coming back lean forgot about the bird bird there is a mole in the there's a mole the movie is really close okay to the fairy tale really close i'm so excited to re-watch it i'm so because like it's a rich mole right yeah that's so rich mole marry the mole it was a perfect bird with a beak and feathers and could not have been dead long and was lying just where the mole had made his passage. It made little tiny very sad to see it. She did so love the little birds all the summer they had sung and twittered for her so beautifully. I'm honestly a little shocked another bird's tried to eat her.

I've been thinking that the whole time when you were talking about birds like watching her pass on the river. I was like they would eat her. They would 100 that the whole time when you were talking about birds like watching her pass on the river i was like they would eat her they would 100 like swoop down she's too pretty she's too pretty to be to be eaten by the birds the birds were just so enamored by her beauty they could only sing about it and then she was like too far away. And they were like, oh, wait a second. We could have eaten her. I hope she's, you know, tastes as good as she's pretty. But the mole pushed the bird aside with his crooked legs and said, he will sing no more now. How miserable it must be to be bored a little bird i am thankful that none of my children will ever be birds stellar stellar mole voice i love it thank you for they can do nothing but cry

tweet tweet and always die of hunger in the winter it's not very nice it's not very nice you are very much imbuing him with like exactly that sort of like callous rich person energy that i would expect he's like it's poor people's fault now i have to look at it. Exactly. But during the night, Tiny could not sleep. So she got out of bed and wove a large, beautiful carpet of hay. Then she carried it to the dead bird and spread it over him. She made really quick work of that. Yeah. She's so talented.

She's like half of the size of your thumb. And she wove like a full bird sized quilt in like yeah 20 minutes just like casually super magical farewell you pretty little bird then she laid her head on the bird's breast but but she was alarmed immediately, for it seemed as if something inside the bird went thump, thump. It was the bird's heart. He was not really dead, only benumbed with the cold. The next morning, she again stole out to see him. He was alive, but very weak. Thank you, pretty little maiden, said the sick swallow. I have been so nicely warmed that I shall soon regain my strength and be able to fly about

again in the warm sunshine. Oh, said she, it is cold out of doors now. Not good idea it snows and freezes stay in your warm bed and i will take care of you the whole winter the swallow remained underground and tiny nursed him with care and love neither the more mole nor the field mouse knew anything about it, for they did not like swallows. Not very nice. Prejudice. Yeah, exactly. Very soon the springtime came and the sun warmed the earth. Then the swallow bade farewell to Tiny and asked her if she would go with him.

She could sit on his back, he said, and he would fly away with her into the green woods. But Tiny knew it would make the field mouse very grieved if she left her in that manner. So she said, no, I cannot. Farewell, then. Farewell, you good, pretty little maiden, said the swallow, and he flew out into the sunshine. Aw. This is a very cute story.

Like, just adorable. It is very cute. It is very cute. You are going to be married, Tiny, said the field mouse. I love all the people telling her that she is going to be married. Nobody asks. Nope. My neighbor has asked for you. What good

fortune for a poor little child like you. Now we will prepare your wedding clothes. Calm down, lady. Does Thumbelina want to marry a mole? Marry the mole. calm down lady does thumbelino want to marry a mole he is a rich mole but tiny was not at all pleased for she did not like the tiresome mole every morning yes i love that it's a personality thing for her yes i love that it's a personality thing for her yeah he just kind of sucks yeah i thought it was going to be something because like the entire like the story is cute but it's very but you

know it's very shallow and it's kind of all about attractiveness and like things that are pretty so i thought it was going to be a more shallow reason of like i don't want to marry an old blind blind mole. Nope. She's just like, yeah, this guy kind of sucks. Yes, I love this. Every morning when the sun rose and every evening when it went down, she would creep out at the door and as the wing blew aside the ears of corn so that she could see the blue sky, she thought, how beautiful and bright it seemed out there and wished so much to see her deer swallow again when autumn arrived tiny had her outfit quite ready and the field mouse said to her in four weeks the wedding must take place then tiny wept and she said she would not marry the disagreeable mole. Yeah. You stick up for yourself. Set boundaries. People stop telling me who to marry.

I don't think you can tell me who to marry. Yeah. You know, it's been a few months, but it did just occur to me that maybe maybe this is my decision. no field mouse is not having this nonsense replied the field mouse now don't be obstinate or i shall bite you with my white teeth whoa oh okay so now we have to now we have to really get into it is the mouse helpful to now we have to really get into it is the mouse helpful at some point the mouse she probably would you know have died in the winter that's true yeah and i think that like so this and this is actually like a common it's a common fairy tale trope where animals like to do a good turn for people that they like and it usually is like the animal does something to fix up the person that they like.

So she is being helpful in the way animals often are in these sorts of stories. And she did help her not die over the winter. That's true. I would probably think setting her up with a rich mole is being helpful, is being very die. That's true. She also probably thinks setting her up with a rich mole is being helpful. Is being very helpful. That's true. She does think that.

She intends to be helpful. At the very least. At the very least. Yeah. He is a very handsome mole. His kitchen and cellars are quite full. You ought to be very thankful for such good fortune. So the wedding day was fixed,

on which the mole was to fetch Tiny away to live with him, deep under the earth, and never again to see the warm sun, because he did not like it. The poor child was very unhappy at the thought of saying farewell to the beautiful sun, and as the field mouse had given her permission to stand at the door she went to look at it once more farewell bright sun she cried stretching her arm out

towards it greet the little swallow for me if you should see him again oh tweet tweet sounded over her head suddenly she looked up and there was the swallow himself flying close by as soon as he spied tiny he was delighted and then she told him how unwilling she felt to marry the ugly mole. Oh, now he's ugly again. Oops. And to live always beneath the earth. And as she told him, she wept. Cold winter is coming,

said the swallow, and I am to fly away into warmer countries. Will you go with me? Hell yes, I will. Yes, I will go with you, said Tiny, and she seated herself on the bird's back. Then the swallow rose in the air and flew over the forest and over the sea, high above the highest mountains covered with eternal snow.

At length, they reached the warm countries, where the sun shines brightly and the sky seems so much higher above the earth and as the swallow flew further and further every place appeared still more lovely does she miss her mother at all no she hasn't said a single thing about like missing her home or nope not a single thing and i didn't cut anything about it yeah interesting that is one like big change from the movie over to the over to the fairy tale because i feel like they had a bit more about thumbelina and her mom yep her mom who wanted a child so badly and went to a witch or a fairy and got this thing and she's just like, you know what? Your kids don't owe you anything. They want to take if they want to take a swallow to the warmer countries

and never think on you again. They can do that. They can do that. They fully can do that. Take a swallow to the warmer countries. That's that's something I'm going to that I'm going to use that now. Now in the winter, I'm going to be like, oh, I wish I could just take a swallow to the warmer countries. Perfect. At last they came to a blue lake and by the side of it, shaded by trees of the deepest green, stood a palace of dazzling white marble built in the olden times. a palace of dazzling white marble built in the olden times. Vines clustered around its lofty pillars and at the top were many swallows' nests, and one of those was the home of the swallow who carried Tiny. This is my house, said the swallow, but it would not do for you to live there. You would not be comfortable. You must choose for yourself one of those lovely flowers and I will put you down upon it.

Oh, the swallow is so sensitive to like her particular needs to swallow. The swallow is not going to make her live in a place that's not suited for her. Never. The swallow would never do that to her. That will be delightful, she said and clapped her little hands for joy. A large pillar lay on the ground, which, in falling, had been broken into three pieces. Between these pieces grew the most beautiful, large white flowers, so the swallow flew down with Tiny and placed her on one of the broad leaves. But how surprised was she to see in the middle of the flower

a tiny little man. Yay! A tiny little hot guy. He had a gold crown on his head and delicate wings at his shoulders. and he was not much larger than tiny herself he was the angel of the flower for a tiny man and a tiny woman dwell in every flower and this was the king of them all oh my gosh i'm just having a flashback of being in preschool and this kid opening every single flower on a bush to try to find little people in them. I'm one – that just – memory just flashed back in my mind.

Wow. Okay. So that kid definitely read Thumbelina. Yeah. Yeah. Big Thumbelina fan, that kid, famously famously so there's a tiny man and a tiny woman in every flower why wasn't there one in the daisy she got dropped on in every i think in every flower in this column scenario okay the broken column scenario as it were, how beautiful is he, whispered Tiny to the swallow.

The little prince was at first quite frightened by the bird, who was like a giant compared to such a delicate little creature as himself. But when he saw Tiny, he was delighted and thought her the prettiest little maiden he had ever seen he took the gold crown from his head and placed it on hers and asked her name and if she would be his wife oh yeah he didn't just tell her exactly and you will be my wife yeah she's like god you were so cute i was so it's okay it's okay if he's hot this certainly was a very different sort of husband to the son of a toad or the mole so she said yes to the handsome prince then all of the flowers opened and out of each came a little lady or a tiny lord. Each of them brought Tiny a present.

But the best gift was a pair of beautiful wings, which had belonged to a large white fly. And they fastened them to Tiny's shoulders so that she might fly from flower to flower. Then there was much rejoicing, and the little swallow who sat above them in his nest was asked to sing a wedding song, which he did as well as he could, but in his heart he felt sad, for he was very fond of Tiny and would have liked to never part from her again. You must not be called Tiny anymore, said the spirit of the flowers to her. It is an ugly name. Jesus. Rude.

Damn. You're a judge. Keep those kinds of thoughts to yourself. And you are so very pretty. We will call you Maya. Farewell, farewell, said the swallow with a heavy heart as he left the warm countries to fly back into Denmark. There he had a nest over the window of a house in which dwelt the writer of fairy tales. The swallow sang tweet tweet and from his song came the whole

story. The end. That was cute! And a little weird. Honestly, it fits really well into the animated film. It's really well into like like the animated film is really close.

Mm hmm. But the animated film introduces the fairy prince at the beginning of the story. Yeah. Like there's a whole subplot about him trying to find Thumbelina again. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. like there's a whole subplot about him trying to find thumbelina again yeah exactly um yeah and uh he didn't come until the end so i feel i feel good yeah i think you got three points abby three for three baby stunningly racist themes i think there were like some prejudice themes but nothing's stunningly racist yeah it can't be it can't be argued that many of these

species seem very prejudiced against each other yeah that's true that's true yeah i don't i don't think i think there is a line to be drawn if you want to draw it but it is not inherent in the text um and i got two points for a helpful mice and an unrequited love because there were many. There were many. The toad, the mole, and the bird. And of course, it definitely had like a happy ending. But the sad swallow landing on Hans Christian Andersen's windowsill is just so, that's so beautifully Hans. I love it.

The man loved a bittersweet ending. like i'm glad it wasn't just a happy ending i would have been a little disappointed right right yeah i loved that that was a wonderful story thank you so much for telling it and you did it beautifully too i loved all of the voices oh thank you excellent storytelling do you have a fix for it? I think there's like what I want out of this story is for Thumbelina to be like a little bit more adventurous. Right. Like I want I want instead of the toads kidnapping Thumbelina at the beginning of the story. I want Thumbelina to be like, mother, I know there must be people like me out there. I'm tiny, tiny, tiny little adults out there and I want to fall in love or whatever. Right. And then, you know, her mom be like, no, you're too delicate and fragile for the big wide world. And then for her to be like, sneak out in the night to go on an adventure.

Because then, yeah, because then like the story is her story as opposed to just like things happening to her. And then you can still have her like encounter the toads or whatever um yeah um but maybe it's a little bit more about her like exploring the world and figuring out like i don't know has she ever seen a toad before? Yeah. Yeah. So so like her acquainting herself with all these different like kinds of animals and stuff and like learning how to survive out in the wilderness. And then maybe it gets scary when she almost dies in the winter. And the and the you know the mouse still saves her and that like that situation breaks her down a little bit where she's like i'm never gonna find you know um some little fairies or whatever uh i and i can't survive out in the elements by myself in the winter and so then maybe

she's gonna marry the mole because she just has gotten to a point where she's like, I can't do this this way. And I don't know how to get home. And I do like that. I do like in the movie how much she like misses her mom and wants to go home. Yeah. So maybe like introducing that back into the story of like her being like, wow, I wish I'd never left home. But then like them. But then she does leave that she does find this little fairy prince and she makes this swallow friend and it's like yes you should leave home and you should figure out

like what the world looks like and and meet all of these different people um uh and you know even if it gets really hard to do so the risk is worth the reward yeah and then she goes home at the end because i really would like to be with her mom and yeah exactly yeah that was definitely a really weird part of the story how she just it never mentions her mother again right just right she disappears and that's it and she's like well this is my life now she doesn't even think about going home right because she doesn't have any agency in the story yeah things are just happening to her like the first thing the first way that she displays any agency at all is like the swallow asks if,

do you want to come with me to the warmer countries? And she says, you know what? Yes. Exactly. But she wouldn't have extricated herself from the scenario without the swallow. Yeah, she wouldn't have run away. She would have just married the mole. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. So I think this is a really good fairy tale and if you just give her make the story about her and about her like uh being adventurous and learning stuff and as opposed to just like her wandering around seeing who thinks she's pretty and who thinks she's not pretty like this the bones are there the structure is there you just have to change the intention yeah because it is like a really cute story in a super magical little world but i do like i do

like changing the change of the story is is tiny is on a journey of self-actualization right exactly figuring out where she belongs in the world. Yeah, the only the only thing that I would add to that is that you keep all of the stuff but people talking about like how she's pretty or not pretty. And one of the lessons she learns is that your self worth can't be based on how other people perceive right? Exactly. No, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have any caveats? Kelsey? No, I think that's perfect. I love that so much. That was delightful. I'm so glad you told that story. I had no I had never heard the original. I don't think I had not encountered the original only the film.

So I was glad to go on this journey. on this journey oh all right so for my story i'm very excited this is the one that i'm going to do because i i did have a slightly longer one prepared if we needed one to be a little longer but it was a houndstooth and anderson story so i figured um odds were good that i'd be able to tell this like shorter one that i think that i think is really fun um and sort of like i wanted i wanted to pick one that was just to give you a little clue i wanted to pick one that had sort of a dark theme because you know sequoia is a horror a horror person yeah horror podcast so the story i'm going to be reading you to today is from favorite folk tales from around the world, which is just a collection of stories curated by Jane Yolen for this edition of just some of her favorites. And this story is called Li Qi Slays the Serpent and it's from China.

It's about a page and a half. So I want each of you to give me two predictions for what you think happens in lychee slays the serpent for an additional clue the section of the book that it's from is the section called heroes likely and unlikely i will go first. I'm going to predict that Lichi is an unlikely hero. Okay, I like it. And I'm going to predict that Lichi is trying to save someone. And that's why he has to slay the serpent. Okay. I'm going to.

I'm notoriously bad at predictions. So let's see. Let's see how this goes. I am going to guess that Leachie is like a child, a young, young kid. And I am going to guess that i'm gonna guess that the serpent has multiple heads can i guess that yes i love that prediction that's so fun okay here we go lychee slays the serpent i did look up some pronunciation guides online, so I feel like I will be able to do fairly well for someone that does not speak Mandarin. But, you know, please correct me, anybody, if I get it egregiously wrong. Okay. okay in fukien in the ancient state of you stands the yang mountain range whose peaks sometimes reach a height of many miles to the northwest there is a cleft in the mountains once inhabited by a giant serpent 70 or 80 feet long and wider than the span of 10 hands wow that's a big boy yeah

big boy it kept the local people in a state of constant terror and had already killed many commandants commandants commandant commandants i'm assuming like like it literally literally is like it's it's spelled like commander but a yeah a nts i i'm assuming it just means like sort of person who is commanded knights or uh military officers or some some sort of like official capacity, like warrior person. Right. So had already killed many commandants from the capital city and many magistrates and officers of nearby towns. By entering-

Are these people going to the serpent? It sounds like they're like, okay, we're going to get the serpent and they go and they're like, guess we're not going to get the serpent. Absolutely go and they're like, guess we're not going to get the serpent. Absolutely. It's definitely like a bunch of knights and various other people are going to this mountain to try to slay this monster. I think it would also be funny, though,

if the serpent was coming down into towns and just eating specifically those guys. Nobody else. It's just like a really anti-authoritarian who's in charge around here yeah show me show me your law enforcement officials i'm gonna kill i'm gonna eat that guy yeah i love it i oh man that's a fun fix for this story that it's just, it's a, it's an anarchist serpent. It had a goal.

So it has killed a lot of people from the surrounding area. Either because it decided to go hunting people or because they were coming to coming to him. Offerings of oxen and sheep did not appease the monster by entering men's dreams and making its wishes known through mediums. What? Yeah. It's got magic powers. It enters men's dreams and can also be it can possess mediums so that the mediums can tell people what it wants.

Wow. Cool. What it wants. Wow. Cool. What it wants next is not cool. It is deeply uncool. It demanded young girls of 12 or 13 to feast on. This is what shoots your anarchist snake right in the scales. I had such, I said such hope. Yeah.

Like this snake is not a champion of the people. This snake wants to eat nubile young girls. We hate that. We don't like this. We do not stand. Helpless, the commandant and the magistrates selected daughters of bondmaids or criminals and kept them until the appointed dates one day in the eighth month of every year they would deliver a girl to the mouth of the monster's cave and the serpent would come out and swallow the

victim this continued for nine years until nine girls had been devoured. Dang. Yeah. Is Leachie going to be one of those girls? What? How could you possibly predict that? In the 10th year, the officials had begun again to look for a girl to hold in readiness for the appointed time. done again to look for a girl to hold in readiness for the appointed time. A man of Chang Lo County,

Lee Tan had raised six daughters and no sons. Chi, his youngest girl responded to the search for a victim by volunteering. Oh, so we're getting like a hunger games vibe now. Yeah. I volunteer as tribute. Yeah. Yeah. Here's Games vibe now. Yeah. I volunteer as tribute. Yeah.

Here's that kind of. Right. The one. Like a like a Scheherazade kind of. Yes. Also a little bit of a Scheherazade situation since like it's specifically other women and girls who are being sacrificed. Right. I love it. So she volunteers. Her parents refused to allow it but she said

dear parents you have no one to depend on for having brought forth six daughters and not a single son it is as if you were childless damn wow yeah she's like you've got enough kids i'm not doing anything hanging around yeah i could never compare with ti jung of the han dynasty who offered herself as a bond made to the emperor in exchange for her father's life i cannot take care of you in your old age i only waste your food and clothes this is like a like a 12 year old child yeah yeah she's like 13 my god yeah since i'm no use to you alive oh my god why shouldn't i give up my life a little sooner what could be wrong in selling me to gain a bit of money for yourselves sad this is a this is a this is a in exchange for money scenario yeah yeah the families of the victims uh get a little compensated yeah gotcha gotcha it's just a girl so

yeah just gotta get money for those oh my god it's very messed up but the father and mother loved her too much to consent so she went in secret we love it we do we do like i do love that even though like like this is a very problematic little speech right i i don't i also don't know a lot about um medieval chinese culture or or like how accurate any of this is um and i'm also you know i don't want to be like i understand like culture is relative etc etc but but definitely by sort of like western modern western standards it's just like oh i hate it right but you know she's she's gonna sacrifice herself no matter what anybody says exactly she is determined to help her family in in this way right so lychee then asked the authorities for a sharp sword and a snake hunting dog has nobody ever asked them for a sharp sword and a snake hunting dog before

i think she's the first person to think of it like oh wow oh i should have asked for one of those before the snake ate me when the appointed day of the eighth month arrived, she seated herself in the temple, clutching the sword and leading the dog. First, she took several packs of rice balls, moistened with malt sugar, and placed them at the mouth of the serpent's cave. The serpent appeared.

Its head was as large as a rice barrel. Its eyes were like mirrors two feet across. Smelling the fragrance of the rice balls, it opened its mouth to eat them. Then Liqi unleashed the snake-hunting dog, which bit hard into the serpent. Liqi herself came up from behind

and scored the serpent with several deep cuts. The wounds hurt so terribly that the monster leaped into the open and died. Dang! That wasn't too hard no yeah she's like has no one else even tried to i mean i guess all those guys yeah all of those like full like full military dudes. Like, full-on warriors have tried before and failed. You just had to bring it.

It's really easy. Yeah. Bring a little home cooking to distract it. Yeah. Then you get your snake hunting dog. Get your snake hunting dog. And then poke it a couple times. And it will just jump off of the cliff

yeah like there's no oh damn lychee then went into the serpent's cave and recovered the skulls of the nine victims she sighed as she brought them out saying for your timidity you were devoured

how pitiful oh damn that's savage yeah this girl's like whatever these girls couldn't hack it couldn't hack it she is not like other girls. Oh, damn. The king of Yu learned of these events and made Li Qi his queen. He appointed her father magistrate of Changlo County, and her mother and elder sisters were given riches.

From that time forth, the district was free of monsters. Ballads celebrating Li Qi survived to this day. The end. Incredible. Amazing. Amazing. That was a great story. It was very fast. I was expecting it to be

a little bit harder to kill the serpent. Nope. It really did most of the work itself. It was kind of a cinch. You just can't charge at it head on like an idiot you have to think of some distraction techniques yeah that would be my fix for this story is just i need a like awesome epic battle scene because it was a little

a little a little a little quick and you're just like wow okay so just leagues of men were killed but okay i kind of love that part i love that so many people have died trying and this 13 year old girl was like she brought some rice balls and a dog and like oh gosh i just like that she asked for them she was like hey can i get some tools with with which to fight this serpent if i'm gonna go like be the sacrifice and they're like oh man no one's ever asked for those before that's so weird that's wild oh we didn't think about arming the sacrifice my my main fix for the story honestly is i wanted it to have more of a shahrazad energy i wanted i wanted her to be doing it to avenge uh her fallen peers yeah a little more

she's so dismissive she's like pathetic. Pathetic. I don't. I wanted it to have less of a not like other girls. Right. Energy to it. Right. But everything else I loved. Yeah.

It just got very victim. I feel like that's the best fix. Yeah. Yeah. It really did. If you didn't have the bit where she was just like, whatever, these girls. Then you're good. then you're good. Then you're good. Although I do think that's kind of funny, too.

It was pretty funny. It's also kind of funny. It's why I decided to read this story. Yeah. Because I was reading and I was like, oh, this is pretty fun. Like, it's pretty fun. But like what sold me on it, like the clincher, what made it like a what the fuck story for me was that girl going like pathetic what did she say again will you read it again yes for your timidity you were

devoured how pitiful oh my god like she literally says pathetic what a bitch drags them absolutely dragging these dead preteens how dare you they're all like girls she didn't like she knew all of them she had like a personal thing personal oh man only popular girls get to be a you know sacrifice to the serpent that's never gonna happen to you each of your parents love you too much uh-huh like yeah all those preppy posers didn't ask for a sword first exactly like she is wearing combat boots like i know when this takes place but like doesn't matter it doesn't matter combat boots she asked for a set of armor too yeah for sure wow and now she's fucking queen i mean and now she's the queen i the thing is there's a lot to

like about this story she's cool yeah if she wasn't if she wasn't being so if she wasn't dragging fellow dead teens then like she would be way. She would be impeccable. Yeah. But at the same time. Who among us was perfect at 13? Yeah. Definitely not me. I also had a not like other girls.

Yeah. When I was 13. I was also not like other girls. So. On that note. That is the end of. This episode of Fair Tale Fix. Yes.

Sequoia, can you remind listeners where they can find But Make It Scary and Fantastical Fix and any other podcasts, you know, you want to shout out? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So But Make It Scary is the show that we've been talking about most here. And that show is wherever pods are cast. But Make It Scary, at But Make It Scary on social media or ButMakeItScary.com. And then my other show is Fanatical Fix and Where to Find Them. That is a Harry Potter fan fiction podcast where me and my co-host find and read the wildest fan fiction that was published before Julyuly 2008 it is a great time we do predictions in every episode um so yeah you can find that fanatical fix and where to find them anywhere

where pods are cast at fanatical fix on social media or fanatical fix.com that was such a wild era to be alive and online oh my god incredible highly recommend fanatical fix if you were if you were if you read any fan fiction uh as a teenager it's fantastic not just harry potter not just harry potter because you read any fan fiction it all had the same flavor oh it did yeah And those flavors were weird and juicy. And they were not like other girls. They were not. Okay.

Well, thank you all for listening to Fairytale Fix. If you enjoyed the show, please subscribe and leave us a review on Apple or wherever they will let you leave a review. You can leave us five stars on Spotify. Five stars only, please. If you love the show and you want to support us, you can get extra episodes, merch, books, other bonus content at our Patreon by signing up at fairytalefix.cash for about what you'd pay for a latte a month. And I think we've got 17 bonus episodes on our Patreon at this moment. So you get all of that for $6. If you don't have dollars or don't want to give us dollars, we love you anyway.

Totally understand. There are other ways that you can support us, leaving us in a aforementioned review or joining our discord community or finding us on Twitter. If it's still around in January. Or Instagram at fairytaleFixPod for both platforms. And please email us your favorite fairy tales, folklore, nursery rhymes, and other such things at info at FairytaleFixPod.com.

And Thumbelina decided to go out into the world and figure out who she is and how she fits inside of it. And that so happened to be as a fairy princess. And Liqi went and fought the serpent, not only on behalf of her family, but also to avenge the nine previous victims, because they were all the unfair victims, not only of the serpent, but of the patriarchy. And they all lived happily ever after.

The end.