Fairy Tale Fix - 61: You Know Your 7-Year-Olds

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

It's the end of Irish fairy tale month, and we've got some good ones! Abbie reads a short story just for Kelsey called The Talking Cat, then follows it up with another story just for Kelsey, The Giant’s Stairs. Kelsey gets spooky and reads a tale from the banshee section called Hanlon’s Mill.

Cheers. Cheers. To the fairies. To the fairies. And to the banshees. Please don't hurt us. Please don't hurt us. Oh, hello there.

Hi. Hello and welcome to Fairy Tale Fix. I'm Kelsey. And I'm Abby. And this is the Fairy Tale Podcast, a what the fuck fairy tale podcast where we read fairy tales to each other and then fix them for a modern audience. Indeed we do. What the fuck indeed. Yeah, what the fuck? These are crazy. Like, have you ever read a classic fairy tale? Has anyone ever read

The End of Sleeping Beauty? We have. Because I had not actually before we started this podcast. And it did not disappoint. So if this is your first episode, get ready. Buckle the F up. It's also March,

which means we are doing Irish fairy tales only. Yep. That is it. It is the month of Ireland. Of Ireland. So fairies, changelings, banshees,

kookas. Giants? Oh, is that a hint? Maybe. Well, you know how I feel about giants. I know.

That's why I might've picked something that I knew you would enjoy. I'm also very glad that I'm going first today because I have already finished my whiskey. Yeah, you have. Now I'm going to move on to my Guinness. Cheers. Cheers. I also have a Guinness. Cheers. Cheers. I also have a Guinness. I did pour myself some Jameson's, but I ended up not drinking it because I wasn't feeling it.

But I did pour myself some water into this beautiful glass that whoever was the winner of our giveaway is now the owner of. This gorgeous fairy wine goblet. So just think that your lips have touched the glass that Kelsey's lips have touched. Don't worry, I washed it, but you should also probably wash it. You should wash it too. Fun fact, if you are listening and you did win this,

the goblets are also technically sherbert dishes like a like really yeah that's what that is it's a noratake or norataki i don't know how to say that it looks like norataki spotlight olive green sherbert glasses okay it looked very much like a wine goblet that a fairy would be drinking out of like if i saw this absolutely does you see this in the forest just filled with wine you're abby's gonna drink it abby's gonna drink it yeah um to to her inevitable demise probably yeah but uh but i drink out of it for sure i i thought it looked kind of like a crown that got made into a cup. I know.

Isn't this cool? It's very cool. It's very beautiful. I know. I brought it home and I almost felt like maybe I should go buy some more. I did feel kind of bad breaking up the set, but I wasn't about to buy like eight glasses. Yeah. No.

No, no, no. But they're very cool. So congratulations to our giveaway winner. We yet to be determined. We are enjoying them. You can enjoy fairy wine, regular wine,

whiskey, water, or sherbet. Or sherbet. Yes, indeed. It's so cute. I wanted to thank our new patrons oh yeah this is a little bit late uh but thank you so much to amanda and benjamin and rabia who joined our patreon um we love you we love you. By the time this comes out. Last month, last month.

Yeah. So thank you so much. We appreciate you. We hope you are loving the bonus episodes. I know they're usually like the most fun. So. I know. I know I tend to love them the most.

I love these two. I love, I love all of them, but we find some wild stuff for those bonus episodes. I think we just feel so comfortable because we're like, everyone here gets us, gets the show. They like us enough to pay us for this, which means they want more of whatever this energy is. Which we are blown away by, so thank you. Absolutely. Rabia also joins us as a, our,

our newest patron level or sorry, newest, uh, producer level. Yeah. Yeah. Which woot woot. Thank you.

Thank you so much. We really, really appreciate it. So you can find, uh, you can find her name in the credits on every episode going forward. Cause she's a VIP. She's a VIP.

Making it happen. Literally. It does actually, I know it's weird. It does cost money to have a podcast. Places like Apple and Spotify and such. Yep. There are,

there are significant production fees. So we really appreciate having some of that burden taken off of us. If you would also like to alleviate some of that burden, we usually save this for the closing credits, but I like talking about it sometimes up top because I know some of you skip it. I know some of you cut away, which is fine.

That's a morally neutral activity, but I do want to mention that you can go to fairytalefix.cash and sign up to support the show and alleviate some of our production costs. We surely very appreciate it. And you get bonus episodes and merch and books and a lot of other really cool stuff. So fairytalefix.cash if you've got cash to spare. Woohoo! Woohoo. Anyway.

So anyway, what have you been up to? This month? This month it's mostly work-related, to be honest. I don't want to give too many details on what I do as my day job or anything. But I have been stressed out to the max all month long. I'm finally done with it. But we went to a con. Oh, yeah.

As a company, we tabled at the expo. a company we tabled at the expo. And so I have spent most of this month in a sort of like delirious, panicky state where I suddenly think of things that I should have done weeks ago that now need to be done now, right now. I mean, this is me speaking from the past. So by the time you listen to this, all will be well. The con will be over. And theoretically, I will have done a bang up job and will have learned a lot about what I need to do for next year. But yeah, at the moment, mostly just stressing out. I'm sorry. I completely understand.

I know you do. And the thing is, I have known we were doing this since the summer. Yeah. And I thought I was understand. I know you do. And the thing is, I have known we were doing this since the summer. Yeah. And I thought I was ready. I had a checklist. I checked a lot of things off of my checklist. Uh-huh. And then more stuff needed to happen that I hadn't actually considered until about, oh, we're about two weeks out at the time of recording.

So I'm having panic moments. Also, one of my least favorite things happens because I'm the only marketing person at my company. And so occasionally, we'll have little check-in meetings with the entire team because I need some help deciding what to do for things. And then instead of giving me their take on what I have already decided to do and how to best go about that, they gave me their take on what they think I should have done instead. And we talk about that for many minutes before moving on to what I actually did do and how best to execute that. And I hate it.

It's my least favorite thing. I don't think any of them listen to this podcast, but if you do, you know who you are. Oh, that's too funny. Yeah. And that's not always super helpful. I mean, it's good to get feedback on things that have, that are like in the past so you can improve them for the future, but kind of also dwelling on it isn Isn't super helpful. No. And it's for little things too. Like if it was for a big,

if it was for a big thing, you know, that would be different. This was, um, you know, I got, I got a fucking prize wheel, you know?

Yeah. So that you can spin the wheel at the show and get a prize. Right. Super fun. And they spent like 10 minutes telling me that i should have ordered like a prize wheel with our brand colors on it somehow or should have had like a like should have had a plan for redesigning it myself to have our brand colors on it and i'm like we have two weeks before this con happens. Don't have time to make everything.

No. We want you to hand paint it. Yes. With details, fine details and all of our logos and fonts. Yeah. Make a stencil so that you can put every letter of our logo on it in in our brand font and like oh my god i mean that does sound pretty dope it does it doesn't not sound like a cool idea

it's just that there are two weeks left and i already have a mountain of other shit to do it's just it's going to be a basic bitch prize wheel. And that's fine. The least important part of everything that's going on. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. So like, so, cause I don't mind the feedback. So this, but this is just a tip to all of you, all of you out there who work, who work with marketing people or event planners,

especially if you work with event planners. Any helpful ideas you have about what they should have done should be saved for the post-event debrief. Yes, absolutely. Not before the event is happening. Not two weeks before the event. That is the wrong time to bring anything that you think should have happened up. Man, I used to do event planning and I like to ask people

this in interviews is like, what's something you're really good at that you would never, ever want to do again? And my answer is event planning. Like I was at it and I did it and I hated it. I would never want to do event planning ever again. I have, I work with a, an event planner and I admire them so much. Like it is not a job I want. It is so stressful. It's just too much. It's also, I feel like a young person's game because when you're an event planner, you are like running around and you're moving stuff and you got to have a good back. And the day of the event, it's a 16 hour day. Yeah. Like, you know, you have to have stamina. It's a young it's absolutely a young person's game.

Yeah. So if you're an event planner or know an event planner, like if you are an event planner and you love your job, good for you. If you don't love it, I get it. If you know an event planner, be nice to them. Please be nice to them. Oh God, be nice to them. They are so stressed out.

Yeah. Helpful tips like after the event They are so stressed out. Yeah. Helpful tips. Like after the event, after it's over. Exactly. Yeah. The feedback. Super welcome.

Afterwards. Yes. Oh man. Anyway. Um, so that's how, that's how I'm doing doing it's literally consuming every waking thought that isn't devoted to like sleeping eating and this podcast but you still like dream about it too oh yes wake up in a panic like oh they're that last oh you know i do uh last

yesterday i woke up um i woke up uh in a cold sweat because I dreamed that I got fired. Oh, no. Because I fucked it up so bad that my incompetence was finally fully revealed to everyone around me. And I could no longer keep my job. That's the worst. It's okay. I'm going to have a dream like that a night until this conference is over i remember event dreams i would wake up with like the guest list in my head and go like

wait i need to see this person and i wake up and i'm like yeah and and all i'm doing is planning a table you, we're an exhibitor at a massive expo with many other exhibitors. You're going to be fine. It's going to be fine. It's not that deep. Yeah, I know. I have to remind myself constantly. It's not that deep.

It's not that deep. But anyway, yes. So anxiety dreams about the prize wheel will probably haunt my nightmares until i'm so excited to see the prize wheel i wish i could spin it i want to go i love that. Anyway, so that's what's up with me. How are you? What's up with you? What have you been up to? Honestly, I've been pretty good. Pretty good. I've been also very stressed out. Also work related. Like not like I've got a ton going on or anything. I don't know. You know the deal. I know the deal. You know the deal.

But I finally got to a good place. Like I was so stressed out. I was only I was like only watching How I Met Your Mother again for like the millionth time. Uh-huh, comfort food. Those are two shows that I can fall asleep to on my couch very easily. There's shows I like better, but they capture my attention too much, and I end up wanting to watch them. But those are two shows that I've seen enough. It's like I can just fall asleep and it's very comforting.

I finally got to a place where I could start a new show and I'm doing it and I'm watching The Last of Us. Yes. Oh God. I'm so excited. I love that show. I was avoiding it so hard because I was like, I don't want to cry. I'm not in a place where I want to get emotional about stuff. So I actually ended up reading all like a bunch of spoilers and asking my sister to tell me like what happens because I just couldn't. I was like, it sounds so great. And I really wanted to watch it. And I was like, I just I'm not in an emotional place. And The Last of Us is super emotional. Yeah.

And it's anxiety inducing because it's like, you know, the apocalypse. You're like, who's going to die? Like I've mentioned on this podcast before that Game of Thrones pretty much ruined me for. Oh, and Squid Game. Oh, my God. That was another one where it was. Oh, my God. Talk about like.

So intense. And so I just let myself read spoilers and get told spoilers. And I just got to enjoy the show. And it was still so good. And I didn't cry. Well, it is more relaxing because they're following the plot of the game pretty closely. And I loved the game. So I'm watching it and I'm just kind of like, okay, yeah, this is really, really well done. But you can just relax and enjoy it because you already know what happens. I went to go buy the game. I was like,

this, okay, first of all, the show's just so great. I am obsessed with Bella Ramsey. They are a phenomenal actor. Just so good. So sassy. I absolutely love like kick-ass like snotty teenager kind of thing perfect they're perfect and um on obviously pedro pascal is like daddy he's daddy he's your slutty daddy he's your slutty daddy he's all our slutty daddy. I am also obsessed with him. They are perfect together. They're so cute. So I went to go buy the game. I was like, I'm just going to go buy it, whatever. And it's not even on Steam yet.

This is why I haven't never played it. And I remember when I think you were playing it and I was interested, but it's only on PlayStation. Yeah, it's a PlayStation exclusive. Oh, you have an Xbox. You're an xbox person i was that and like pc i preferred a game on pc so yeah so that's why i never had it and steam is gonna release it but it's not out yet gosh genius and also i realized that like it's gonna be it's like an old game that's gonna be super expensive yeah but or not super expensive i think it was like 60 bucks which is kind of normal for that game but it's funny because it's like old well it's so old usually by the time a game is

that is like as old as the last of us is like the price has dropped to like 30 bucks i was like ah 60 and then it wasn't even available. I got it. I got to tell you that when it is available, the game it's, it's worth it. It's a really fun game. Like the gameplay is really good.

Um, the gameplay is also a little anxiety inducing. I remember when I was playing it, that, um, our friend Chris had to play the Mentos commercial song for me to keep me in like a, a okay headspace. Cause what? Cause it's, it's for, it's a zombie game.

Right. So you're like, you're creeping around and like, and you, and it's, it's really fun because you find it cause you want to conserve ammo. Right. So you find stuff on the ground to hit the zombies. Oh, I love it. Nice. So you're like, you pick up a brick and you and you take them to brick town like you you smash that's what that's what chris i'm calling it i'm just kidding yeah take them to brick town and like like so so i would just grab these bricks and smash on zombies. Well, fresh goes better. Fresh goes better.

I don't know why it helped me so much, but it was so, it was so chipper. That's funny. I'm excited. Cause the main zombie games I played are like, um, left for dead.

And that one's just, it's, it's almost supposed, it's supposed to be kind of a comedy and it's very silly. And the last of us just seems more dramatic, more cinematic, more like a storyline. Well, I don't know. Left 4 Dead has a really good storyline, too. I'm so mad at Valve for not being able to count past two.

And none of their games ever get a third ever get a third one release i also actually uh replayed half dead half dead oh my god half life half life half dead uh half life too it was so good and it made me mad all over again that they're making a last of us show but they're not making a Half-Life show. Half-Life would be so cool. I know. That would be such a cool show. So I am manifesting this. Please. Just Half-Life is so good.

Actually, you know what? No, it'd be so good. And it deserves to have the story finish. I want to know what happens. They'll do it eventually, maybe. Those bastards. When they're not so busy making Steam Deck stuff. You bastard.

I feel very strongly about Half-Life. It was such a fun game. Anyway, so yeah. The Last of Us, amazing. How far are you in the show? Like, are you caught up? I'm caught up. But as of right now, that means I've watched up to episode six.

So I think there's only like two more coming out. So by the time this comes out, it'll be over. Yep. And they seem like they're on pace to do the entire first game in a season. Because, you know, when you cut out all of

the zombie fighting... That's something I was going to say. It's so funny because I keep watching it, and there's these perfect opportunities for it to be a cut scene into like the zombies are coming to attack now and you have to shoot them but there's only been like

one moment where they're actually fighting zombies and I'm a little disappointed. I know it's a video game and I'm just like waiting for the horde to come. Uh-huh. Yeah, you're waiting for like the wave survival portion of it to start. Yes, and it doesn't come and I'm like, aw. I mean, it's fine, but...

I think they're saving... Because you don't want to do that too much in a TV show, otherwise people get too used to it. And there is one specific fight that I'm thinking of toward the end of the game that I think they're saving. Ooh, okay. I'm thinking of toward the end of the game that I think they're saving. I think they're saving the big zombie fight for this specific bit or at least that's what I'm hoping. Cause I remember it was the most stressful part of the entire game. Amazing. I can't wait.

I'm so excited. I got over the anxiety of it and also stopped reading spoilers because I'm just in a better headspace now. I'm so glad. So you don't know the end of the plot line yet, right? Uh-uh. No, I don't know anything. I am so excited to hear what you think. Should I read spoilers? No. I think I genuinely, if you're in a place where're in a, if you're in a place where you can accept uncertainty, then I think it is, I think the ending pays off so much better if you aren't

expecting it. Okay, cool. I was also going to mention, I am put, I put a little recipe in the giveaway. Um, I decided to do irish soda bread so you can have like an offering to the fairies if you're going to be drinking out of their wine goblets that's a good call right and irish soda bread is perfect and it's delicious and it's super super easy to make um and i was going to ask you what your favorite Irish dish was or if you're planning on making anything special this year. Probably not. Honestly, I can't think of any dish that's specifically Irish off of the top of my head. I usually make a Guinness beef stew for St. Patrick's Day because I really like beef stew.

Hell yeah. So that's, if I do anything, it'll probably be that. But St. Patrick's Day this year is the day before I head to the conference to set up our booth. Oh, that's a bummer. So I don't think I'm going to be doing anything. I think I'm going to be doing anything. I think I'm going to be like going to bed early, stressed out, last minute crying and putting together what needs to happen.

This is just, just, I know me. Yeah. Celebrate after. Yeah, exactly. Um,

so at some point this month I'll treat myself to a nice, uh, to a nice Guinness beef stew. Hell yeah. I feel like you should do that just more often throughout the winter because that sounds amazing I have been making this is a total tangent but I have been making like a Dutch

oven a Dutch oven beef stew that I really like I know it is fancy you should send me the recipe you're such a great cook I will your food is amazing oh Oh, thank you. Oh, my gosh. I appreciate that. I work really hard.

You should definitely send me the recipe. And I'll send you the recipe for the Irish soda bread and you can eat it with your ears. Yes. Technically, it's my mom's Irish soda bread. I don't like – Whatever. It's your recipe now. She usually makes it.

It's a family recipe. It's really good. You soak the raisins in rum and it makes them all plump and delicious. So like it's like a dry bread. Not like super dry but like a dry bread and

you get these like pops of like raisins that just like I don't know. It's so good. That sounds amazing. Yes. We will trade recipes. And it'll be fun. Why don't you tell me an Irish tale? I would be delighted to do so. That whiskey is sitting real nice. So hopefully I don't slur my words too badly. I could not believe because last year, last year, we had three regular feed episodes in March because that's just how it shook out.

And our bonus episode was in March. So I feel like last year we did so many Irish fairy tales. And this year we're already done. This is our last episode of March. So it's already over. I was like, man, it feels like we'd usually do a lot more Irish fairy tales, but yeah. Well, last year, I, last year was just special. Just the way, just the way all of the timing shook out. So I'm a little bummed. So

that's why I'm actually, I'm going to do two. Ooh, okay. One, this first one is a little, it's a little aperitif, a little amuse-bouche of Irish folktales. And I wanted to pick things specifically for you. Thank you. So I found this on a website called askaboutireland.ie. And it's a website that is actually run by the Irish public library system. Nice. Yeah. And they just have a couple of folktales that are just on it. Amazing. We'll put those in our show notes for sure.

Kelsey, you're going to get one prediction because the story is two paragraphs long. Okay. One prediction. It is called The Talking Cat. Fuck yes. Oh my God. You love me. I do. Okay.

My prediction is that The Talking Cat is sassy. Okay. There was a farmer driving home to Timahoe from the fair in Port Alicia.

When he came to the crossroads at money, his cart was violently tilted up and he looked back to see that a black cat had jumped over the tailboard. As the horse could not draw the cart with the shafts up in the air, the farmer said to the cat, either get out, please, or come here beside me. The cat moved up and sat beside the farmer upon

the far side of the slat. As they came to the next crossroads, the cat said to the farmer, tell Booman that pretty man is dead, and thereupon jumped out of the cart and disappeared. I love it. That's my dream. Why doesn't this happen to me? You don't live in Ireland. Oh man. I was born in the wrong era and the wrong country.

You were. You're not a folksy farmer driving a horse drawn cart down an Irish country lane. And that's why this doesn't happen to you. The farmer went home, and while he was having a meal, he told his experience to his wife. When he came to repeat what the cat had said, their own cat, who was sitting at the hearth, rose up and gave three loud cries.

She rushed out of the house and was never seen again. The end. That was a perfect fairy tale. It was so good. Wasn't that amazing? So good. Except I'd be really mad if my cat just like left. Yeah. I never saw her again. But I love the implication so much that there is a secret world of cats. There is. There is. Yeah. That this cat has her own name that the humans don't know.

Yep. And that she's listening to them when they talk. And so this was a way of cats passing messages to each other. That's so good. I love it. I don't think the cat was sassy. So I don't know. The cat was pretty informative,

but I love that. And I also love that. He was like that. He was like, well, pass or get up here. That'd be. Yeah.

Come here. Come here. Puss, puss. I do. I said every single cat I see ever. That's my superpower, by the way. I don't know if I've ever told you this.

My superpower is being able to like, every time I see, like, every time there's a cat around me, I can see it. And I point it out. Usually to Adam and I go, cat. Cat. Cat. It's like, and how I met your mother with the zitch dog thing. Yes. I also want to note that the original story,

it said that it originally said when he came to repeat what the cat had said, their own pussy who was sitting at the hearth but i changed it in the reading because i am a child and i don't think i could have read that without laughing a little bit just say cat just say cat new t-shirt idea i can't i can't handle all these cocks and pussies in all these old-timey folksy stories oh just the best that was perfect do you have any fixes

nope yeah how could you that's so good how could i that was perfect it was it was it was excellent i do i want to know more i want to know where she's off to and what happened Could you? That's so good. How could I? That was perfect. It was excellent. I do. I want to know more. I want to know where she's off to and what happened. I kind of like that it's very ambiguous because it's not for humans to know. Yeah, that's fair. So that's. So you're welcome for that. Thank you. you love me i do love you and i have a second story that's quite a bit longer that i think you will also love this one is called the giant's stairs

giant's stairs i love giants um and i'm reading this one from Fairy and Folk Tales of Ireland, edited by W.B. Yeats. And the story is from T. Crofton Croker. Do I get three predictions for this one? Or just two? Yes. Yeah, you get three. It's long enough for a three is warranted okay the giant stairs uh my first prediction is someone's gonna climb those stairs who is not a giant so okay a medium-sized person yeah okay a smaller person than a giant will climb those stairs. Fair enough. Okay. I like it.

And my second prediction is I'm going to predict that it's a mean giant. I feel like that's really safe, but I'm going to go crazy on this third one. Okay. Okay. I love it. Go on. My third prediction is that there's magic food. Okay. Magic food, mean giant, someone climbs the stairs. That's not a giant. Yes.

Smaller person than the giant will climb the stairs. Okay. Okay. I love that. I love that very much. While you're making your predictions, I was also looking up another very Irish word that I forgot how to pronounce in between sessions. So hopefully, hopefully, hopefully I've got any of these right. But I wouldn't know anyway.. I wouldn't know anyway, so. You wouldn't know anyway.

That's true. You're telling me the story, so it's fine. It's fine. Oh, okay. So the giant's stairs is from the giant's section of the book. Surprise, surprise. the giants section of the book surprise surprise um and i just wanted to read a quick little note that uh the editor put in between put at the beginning of this section so when the pagan gods of ireland robbed of worship and offerings grew smaller and smaller in the popular imagination

until they turned into fairies the pagan heroes grew bigger and bigger until they turned into giants. I love that. Yeah. So with that said, here is the giant's stairs. On the road between passage and cork, there is an old mansion called Renne's court it may be easily known from the stack of chimneys and the gable ends which are to be seen look at it which way

you will this is it's one of those irish stories where like i swear i read this ahead of time yeah no mine's gonna be the same way don't worry say saying it out loud is just like there's a difference between reading it and saying it out loud. There is. Just get a little bit of an Irish accent in there and then it'll help you along. Look at it which way you will. Just imagine you're an old Irish man with a cane and like you got a hat and you're telling the greatest story you've ever heard. Hang on, let me take a big gulp of my Guinness. I think it'll help.

Yes, it absolutely will help. I think it'll help. Yes, it absolutely will help. It may be easily known from the stack of chimneys and the gable ends, which are to be seen, look at it which way you will. Here it was that Maurice Renan and his wife, Margaret Gould, kept house, as may be learned to this day from the great old chimney piece on which is carved their arms. Awesome.

So like their sigil. Mm-hmm. which is carved their arms. Awesome. So like their sigil. They were a mighty worthy couple and had but one son who was called Philip after no less a person than the king of Spain. These people also have pretensions. Yeah.

I don't think they know the king of Spain. Probably not. But it does sound like they're like a couple that people admire. Yeah. Based on the story. For sure. Yeah.

Immediately on his smelling the cold air of this world, the child sneezed, which was naturally taken to be a good sign of his having a clear head. And the subsequent rapidity of his learning was truly amazing. For on the first day, a primer was put into his hands. He tore out the ABC page and destroyed it as a thing quite beneath his notice.

No wonder then that both father and mother were proud of their air who gave such indisputable proof of genius or as they called it in that part of the world, genus. Nice. Genius. Everybody thinks that about their kids absolutely every everybody thinks their kid is a fucking genius unless they think their kid is a fucking idiot and there's really no there's really no middle no in between there's no in between. There's no in between. No one's realistic about their children is what I'm trying to say.

This is Abby's hot takes and you can direct your angry emails nowhere. I don't want to hear them. Just tweet at her. Do not. That's what that exists for, right? Sure. Yeah. Hot takes. Hot takes are for Twitter. That's what that exists for, right? Sure. Yeah.

Hot takes hot takes her for Twitter. That's that's for damn sure. One morning, however, master Phil, who was then just seven years old was missing and no one could tell what had become of him. Servants were sent in all directions to seek him on horseback and on foot, but they returned without any tidings

of the boy, whose disappearance altogether was most unaccountable. A large reward was offered, but it produced them no intelligence and years rolled away without Mr. and Mrs. Renain having obtained any satisfactory account of the fate

of their lost child oh seven that's really sad i know it's a long time the giants adopt him what i'm making additional predictions as the story goes there lived at this time near caragoline one robert kelly a blacksmith by trade he was what is termed a handyman and his abilities were held in much estimation by the lads and lasses of the neighborhood for independence of shooing horses which he did to great perfection and making plow irons he interpreted dreams for the young women sung arthur o'bradley at their weddings and was so good nature to fellow at a christening that he was gossip to half the country around. I love this old man telling this story, just being like, yeah, he was the best. And it was the best family. And just he knew this old ass song and he could interpret dreams. He was cool.

He could interpret dreams. He was cool. Now it happened that Robin had a dream himself and young Philip Renan appeared to him in it at the dead hour of the night. Robin thought he saw the boy mounted upon a beautiful white horse and that he told him how he was made a page to the great giant.

Oh, a page. A page. My pretty little pet. I will adopt you. What a sweet little pet you are. Just a tiny little thing. Uh-huh. Philip Rene appears to Robin upon a beautiful white horse, and he tells him how he was made

a page to the giant Mahan McMahon, who had carried him off and who held his court in the hard heart of the rock. The seven years, my time of service are clean out, Robin, said he. And if you release me this night, I will be the making of you forever after. And how will I know, said Robin, cunning enough, even in his sleep, that this isn't a dream. Take that, said the boy, for a token. And not the word, the white horse struck out with one of his hind legs and gave poor Robin such a kick in the forehead

that, thinking he was a dead man, he roared as loud as he could after his brains and woke up calling a thousand murders. With a giant horseshoe print on his face. That's literally exactly what happens. He wakes up in bed and he's got a horseshoe print on his forehead. Red as blood.

And Robin Kelly, who never before found himself puzzled at the dream of any other person, didn't know what to do with his own. Yeah, I mean, that'd be quite shocking. He probably has a concussion. Yeah. That explains a lot of what happens in the rest of this story just it's either magic or robin kelly has a concussion oh i know how i'm imagining this story. That's for sure. Poor man got kicked in the face by a horse. By a dream horse, though. So.

I don't know. It's as red as blood. It probably is blood. Yeah. I imagine that it's blood filling the bruise on this man's forehead. Give me a headache just thinking about it. Well, and I love that it calls out that it's like, if a horse kicks you in the head, you're dead.

You're dead. You're done. It's over for you. Or you're in a coma, I guess, at best. Okay, so dream horse, a little softer, just concussion. Yeah, it taps him in the forehead and he just gets

a concussion. That's rude. Also, you're asking this man to come save you and you like have your horse kick him in the face. Right? You want to know if this is real? Whap! Whap! It's fucking rude. I wouldn't go get that kid. He's, you know, he's a kid, okay? Fuck them kids. Fuck those kids. It's been seven years, right? He's like 14.

Yeah, fuck that kid. Shitty teenager. Robin's staying home. He's not gonna. Aw. Yeah, he's the best person that I am. We'd have no story. So Robin was well acquainted with the giant stairs, as indeed who was not that knows the harbor?

They consist of great masses of rock, which piled one above another, rise like a flight of steps from very deep water against the bold cliff of Karagmeyan. cliff of Karagmeyan. Nor are they badly suited for stairs to those who have legs of sufficient length to climb over a moderate-sized house. I should have predicted that the giant stairs was a real place.

You should have. Oh, man! I'm so mad at myself! That would have been a really good prediction. Fuck! It's an Irish fairy tale. If they reference a location, it's the origin story of the location. This is why I suck at predictions. I'm just, ugh, anyway. I don't think, I mean, when I was reading the story, I didn't think that it was a real place either.

Yeah, but that's so obvious when you get to it. Anyway. When you get to it, yeah, absolutely. that's so like obvious when you, when you get to it anyway, when you get to it. Yeah, absolutely.

They are not badly suited for stairs to those who have legs of sufficient length to stride over a moderate sized house or to enable them to clear the space of a mile and a hop step and a jump. Both of these feats, the giant McMahon was said to have performed in the days of Finian glory and the common tradition of the country placed his dwelling within the cliff upon whose side the stairs led. Such was the impression which the dream made on Robin that he determined to put the truth to the test. It occurred to him, however, before setting out on this adventure, that a plow iron may be no bad companion,

as from experience he knew it was an excellent knockdown argument having on more occasions than one settled a disagreement very quietly so he's hit a lot of people with this plow with this plow iron and so putting one on his shoulder off he marched in the cool of the evening through the hawks glen to monkstown here an old gossip of his tom clancy by name lived clancy sounds familiar well there is a um there's an author whose last name is clancy i feel like we need to start writing these names down because they're all like around the same area. I bet we overlap with some stories.

That's, oh my gosh, you're probably right. That's actually really funny because it's also like Tom Clancy is an old gossip, you know? So Tom, Tom Clancy is the drunk guy at the bar telling all of these stories. Tom Clancy is the man.

Tom Clancy is the man. Anyway, Tom Clancy lives in Monkstown. And when Robin tells him his dream, he tells him that he will take him to the giant stairs on his skiff. After a supper, which was of the best, the story is careful to note. Yeah, it's a real good supper. Guinness beef stew. Oh, hell yeah. I you know, if I do say so myself, that shit is delicious. So after a good supper, they go on Tom Clancy's skiff. So it's a beautiful still night and the little boat glides swiftly along the regular dip of the oars, the distant song of the sailor. And sometimes the voice of a belated traveler at the ferry of carigolo

alone broke the quietness of the land and sea and sky the tide was in their favor and in a few minutes robin and his gossip rested upon their oars under the dark shadow of the giant stairs very beautiful imagery too oh yeah this like This like, especially like as he like, you'll see, it gets really gorgeous and also creepy. Ooh. Robin looked anxiously for the entrance to the giant's palace, which it was said may be found by anyone seeking it at midnight,

but no such entrance could he see. His impatience had hurried him there before that time, and after waiting a considerable space in a state of suspense not to be described, Robin, with pure vexation, could not but help exclaiming to his companion, "'Tis a pair of fools we are, Tom Clancy, for coming here at all on the strength of a dream." "'And whose doing is it?' said Tom tom but your own right right yeah tom is tom is spot on at the moment he spoke they perceived a faint glimmering of light to proceed from the cliff which gradually increased until a porch big enough for a king's palace

unfolded itself almost on a level with the water they pulled the skiff directly toward the opening and robin kelly seizing his plow iron boldly entered with a strong hand and a stout heart and a plow iron and a plow iron ready to hit somebody with it ready to hit that horse in the face. Absolutely. You know what? This is not a rescue mission. It's a vendetta against a specific horse. And that kid. Cause I bet it was. Piece of shit.

That's how I'm going to fix this. I've come to beat up the piece of shit. 14 year old. Fuck you kid. Wow. Kick me. Will you? In my dreams? Come on, kid. Whap. Kick me, will you? In my dreams?

Come on, man. You couldn't have just pinched me or something or, I don't know, gave me some gold? Yeah, man. Give me some whiskey. I don't know. Slash me with water and kick me in the face with your horse. Jesus. That's my fix for the whole story.

I fucking love it wild and strange was that entrance the whole of which appeared formed of grim and grotesque faces blending so strangely with the other that it was impossible to define any the chin of one formed the nose of another what appeared to be a fixed and stern eye, if dwelt upon, changed to a gaping mouth, and the lines of the lofty forehead grew into a majestic and flowing beard. Ooh, I love that.

Yeah, it's fucking creepy. That's what you get for drinking the fairy wine. I'm not kidding. That's what you get. That's what happens. You end up at the entrance to a giant's mountain lair, and the entrance is made of a million faces. Then again, I don't know.

Giant or giants. Do they do giant? Do Irish giants have fairy powers? They usually do. And other. You'll see. Oh, I love it. You'll see. You will see.

The more Robin allowed himself to contemplate the forms around him, the more terrific they became. And the stony expression of this crowd of faces assumed a savage ferocity as his imagination converted feature after feature into a different shape and character. Losing the twilight in which these indefinite forms were visible, he advanced through a dark and devious passage, whilst a deep and rumbling noise sounded as if the rock was about to close upon him and swallow him alive forever. Mahahaha!

I know. It's fucking awesome! So now indeed, poor Robin felt afraid, which yeah, Robin, Robin said, he, if you were a fool for coming here,

what in the name of fortune are you now? But as before he had scarcely spoken when he saw a small light twinkling through the darkness of the distance like a star in the midnight sky. To retreat was out of the question, for so many turnings and windings were in the passage that he considered he had but little chance of making his way back. He therefore proceeded toward the bit of light and came at last into a spacious chamber from the roof of which hung the solitary lamp that had guided him emerging from such profound gloom the single lamp afforded robin abundant light to discover several gigantic figures seated round a massive stone table as if in serious deliberation but no word disturbed the breathless silence which prevailed okay first of all that the lamp thing is totally giving me like haunted like disney

haunted mansion vibes i'm imagining like a candelabra floating down the hallway oh my god yes absolutely which i love how scary would that be to like come upon a bunch of giants having a meeting but like no one's talking like it's just figures in sort of illuminated by a single lamp and none of them are moving but they're huge is it like they're stones they're huge. Is it like they're stones? They're stone giants? Tell me more! At the head of this table sat Mahan MacMahon himself whose majestic beard

had taken root and in the course of ages grown into the stone slab. A giant with a majestic beard? Yes, please. Yes, please. Yes, please. I'm in love. What was his name again?

Mahan McMahon. Mahan McMahon. That's the coolest name ever. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Tell me more about him. You got it. So his beard has grown into the stone table that he's sitting at.

That's super hot. He was the first who perceived Robin and instantly starting up, drew his long beard from out the huge piece of rock in such haste. And with so sudden a jerk that it was shattered into a thousand pieces. Fuck yeah. Of course it would. Yeah, absolutely.

It's like the mountain itself moving. Uh-huh. It's cool. It's like, I wonder if like, he's just been there so long and then he's like, what are you doing here? Yeah,

exactly. What seek you? He demanded in a voice of thunder. I come, answered Robin with as much boldness as he could put on for his heart was almost fainting within him i was a little like laughing i'll get you don't come any closer sorry i'm gonna stop. This is so good. I love this so much. Okay.

I'm glad you're enjoying it. I thought this story was so fucking cool when I read it earlier. It's so good. I come, said he, to claim Philip Renain, whose time of service is out this night. And who sent you here, said the giant. Twas of my own accord i came said robin then you must single him out from among my pages said the giant and if you fix on the wrong one your life is forfeit follow me and he led robin into a hall of vast extent and filled with lights along either side

of which were rows of beautiful children, all apparently seven years old, and none beyond that age. Oh, so Philip is still seven. He's still seven. He's frozen in age. Neat. He's frozen in time. None beyond that age, dressed in green, and everyone dressed exactly alike here said mahan you are

free to take philip rene if you will but remember i give but one choice robin was sadly perplexed for there were hundreds upon hundreds of children and he had no very clear recollection of the boy he sought it's a dream you know yeah's fuzzy. He's got a concussion. And he has a fucking concussion because a horse kicked him in the head. Most of the kids look the same. That's so sad. I know. It's genuinely very creepy.

I'm less in love with. I already forgot his name. Mayan McMahon? Mayan. Less in love. Why do you need all those seven-year-olds? What a question. What an interesting question that is.

What do you need with all the seven-year-olds? Robin walked along the hall by the side of Mayan as if nothing was the matter, although his great iron dress clanked fearfully at every step, sounding louder than Robin's own sledge battering on his anvil they had nearly reached the end without speaking when robin seeing that the only means he had was to make friends with the giant determined to try what effect a few soft words might have. I love it. Go on. Tis a fine, wholesome appearance.

The poor children carry remarked Robin, although they have been here so long shut out from the fresh air and the blessed light of heaven. Tis tenderly. Your honor must have reared them. Nice looking, uh, herd of sheep. You got here.

Yeah. You must have been real gentle with their upbringing for them to still look so good i said the giant that is true for you so give me your hand for you are i believe a very honest fellow for a blacksmith he's he's easily fl. Easily flattered. Just like, yes, well, thank you. You must have good taste. Oh my gosh, thank you. You must know your seven-year-olds. You know your stuff. You know your seven-year-olds. Robin, at the first look, did not much like the huge size of the hand and therefore presented his plow iron, which the giant seized and twisted in his grasp around and around again as if it had been a potato stalk.

midst of their mirth, Robin thought he heard his name called. And all ear and eye, he put his hand on the boy who he fancied had spoken, crying out at the same time, let me live or die for it, but this is young Phil Rene. It is Philip Rene, happy Philip Rene,ne said his young companions and in an instant the hall became dark crashing noises were heard and all was in strange confusion but robin held fast his prize and found himself lying in the gray dawn of the morning at the head of the giant stairs with the boy clasped in his arms oh i know oh Oh, I know. Robin had plenty of gossips to spread the story of his wonderful adventure. Passage, Monkstown, Kerrigalene, the whole barony rung with it.

Especially Tom Clancy, who gave him the ride. Hell yeah, Tom Clancy was the first one to go gossiping about it. He made many a person buy him a fucking beer before he'd tell them the story. Are you quite sure, Robin, that it's young Phil Rene and you have brought back with you, was the regular question, for although the boy had been

seven years away, his appearance now was just the same as on the day he was missed. He had neither grown taller nor older and look, and he spoke of things which had happened before he was carried off as one awakened from sleep or as if they had occurred yesterday. Very magic. Yep. Very magic. Pretty typical.

Kind of the same as with Ethna and her, and her year of fairy parties. Before her many years of non-fairy parties with her husband. Yeah, that woman's life is a non-stop party. Am I sure? Well, that's a queer question, was Robin's reply. Seeing the boy has the blue eyes of the mother with the foxy hair of the father to say nothing of the pretty wart on the blue eyes of the mother with the foxy hair of the father, to say

nothing of the purty wart on the right side of his little nose. However Robin Kelly may have been questioned, the worthy couple of Renain's court doubted not that he was the deliverer of their child from the power of the giant McMahon, and the reward they bestowed on him equaled their gratitude. Philip Renan lived to be an old man and he was remarkable to the day of his death for his skill and working brass and iron, which it was believed he had learned during his seven years apprenticeship to the giant man McMahon. Cool. That's so cool.

That's a cute little tidbit at the very end. Yeah. I do like that that you get like a little history of like and then philip was fine and he was a fantastic fucking blacksmith because of his seven-year apprenticeship to a giant so i like that idea that he's not holding these children hostage forever he's just giving them an apprenticeship. He's teaching them. I don't know. I think the implication is that if no one comes to rescue them, they are there forever. Yeah.

Cause there are hundreds of children. Yeah. That's crazy. In his, in his fortress. Like, yeah. I'm sad.

I'm sad. Robin didn't get revenge and see the white horse and kick him in the face or whatever but you know that's a good fix for the story i didn't really have one um because i because i like i liked it a lot i thought that was really creepy oh yeah so good yeah and it has a happy ending oh my gosh can you imagine like not having your child for like your child's been missing for seven years and they come back and they're exactly the same age as when they left or yeah that's wild and like and they they don't appear to have really aged at all like even in even in spirit like that he remembers everything as it was yesterday like he he's been sleeping for seven years essentially spooky yeah and it's like i love i love the sort of creepy descent into the

giant's fortress and the giant's beard growing into the imagining is a giant stone conference table yeah oh my gosh yes like they're having a board meeting that Rob and Kelly has interrupted. Oh man. I love that. I love that. I also love how the giant's like just part of the mountain. Like maybe he hasn't moved for so long. Mm-hmm.

Amazing. Very cool. Very beautiful, picturesque writing and as always using real places and real names and stuff it's just the best I love it heck yeah I love like oh Irish fairy tales are so much fun 10 out of 10 um so I wrote a smaller person will climb those stairs did he climb the stairs or was he just there unclear i think he i think i think he climbs the stairs because like that's the whole point yeah right but i think the entrance the entrance helps him do it. Yeah. I don't know.

Do I get a point for that one? I'm inclined to give it to you. Okay. Would you say he was a mean giant? He's keeping hundreds of children prisoner. So, yes. Okay, I got two points. There was no magic food, sadly.

So I'm going to say that's two points for you. I think kidnapping hundreds of children and holding them hostage is pretty mean. That's mean. Or is it just they're like, I mean, if you're a fey creature, that's just what you do. Is it more? No, that's pretty mean. It's still pretty mean. You know, even if it's in your nature to be mean, I think that's still mean.

Okay, cool. I got two points. Thank you. That was amazing. Both of them. You're welcome. I know you love a giant tail. Okay. I've had my half shot of Jameson's. Cool. I'm ready to tell you a story called Hanlon's Mill.

So Hanlon's Mill is in the section of the fairy tale Bible. What is it called? Irish fairy and folk tales. It is in the section of Banshees. Banshees. Banshees? Oh, I'm so excited. Okay. Hmm.

How many predictions do I get? The three. All three. All right. For the first one, it's a family Banshee. Family Banshee. Okay. She's haunting someone specific with a premonition of their death.

Isn't that all Banshees? Is it? You know what? I actually don't. Like, I've read the Wikipedia page on Banshees. Oh, it's so funny because I did Banshees when we talked to um when we did uh you know our crossover episode yes and i can't remember i can't remember if they always do if they're all premonition like death premonitions we're you know i'm not sure

but they're female so a banshee is a a female spirit in Irish folklore who heralds the death of a family member, usually by screaming, wailing, shrieking, or keening. Her name is connected to the mythologically important tumuli or mounds that dot the Irish countryside, which are known as a side or seed in old Irish. That was from Wikipedia, by the way. Full credit. or seed seed in old Irish. Um, that was from Wikipedia, by the way, full credit. I don't know that stuff on my own. Uh huh. So yeah.

Okay. Okay. So we're all in my predictions, just basic Banshee shit then. And I should start over. Wait, what did you predict? Let me see.

Uh, that it's a family Banshee she's haunting someone specific and it's a premonition of their death i would say i wouldn't bank all of my predictions on the banshee but those are fine i'll allow all those i'll switch i'll switch my third one then. Okay. Midnight is important in this story. Midnight is important. Okay. And without further ado, Hanlon's Mill.

I also did find it on libraryireland.com, which is really helpful. Because it's kind of helpful having it on the computer versus having the book in my hand. Absolutely. But yeah, it is in the book. That's where I found it. One fine summer's evening,

Michael Noonan went over to Jack Bryan's, the shoemaker at Ballyduff, for the pair of brogues which Jack was mending for him. So he's fixing. Okay. And this is one of those stories that tells you like every name and every place of every single person. I love it.

I'm so excited. I love Irish stories. Me too. It was a pretty walk by the way he took, but very lonesome all along the Riverside down by the Oak, till he came to Hanlon's mill, that used to be anyway, but that had long gone to ruin many long years ago. Ooh, okay. Melancholy enough, the walls of that same mill looked. The great old wheel black with age, all covered over with moss and ferns, and the bushes all hanging down about it.

it over with moss and ferns and the bushes all hanging down about it there it stood silent and motionless and a sad contrast it was to its former busy clack with the stream which once gave it use rippling idly along oh okay i love that i love that it's a it's a ruin yeah i was thinking something a little different the old creepy haunted mill for sure heck yeah okay old hanlon no we're getting a little sidetracked but old hanlon still lives there no we just get a little history about what he was like which is fun so old hanlon was a man that had great knowledge of all sorts. There was not an herb that grew in the field that he couldn't tell the name of it and its use out of a big book that he had written himself. Every word of it in the real Irish character.

Nerd. Total botanist nerd. A fucking nerd. Marie's going to be really offended that you just said that. Well, I mean, Maria knows I love her. Our very own botanist nerd. I mean, nerd incredibly affectionately. That's true.

I am also often called a nerd. You've called me a nerd many times. I know. Every single time I call Adam a nerd, I laugh and then go, I have a fairy tale podcast. I'm allowed to use that word. I am also a nerd. Exactly. Nerds can use the word. He even kept a school once and could teach Latin. That surely is a blessed tongue all over the wide world. And I hear tell us how the great Burke went to school to him. I don't know.

This is not dissuading me that he is a fucking nerd because he also teaches Latin, which is a dead language. And I don't know who the great Burke is, but he sounds pretty great. He does. And Master Edmund lived up at the old house there, which was then in the family. And it was the Nagels that got it afterwards, but they sold it. But it was Michael Noonan's walk I was speaking of. So back to the story. It was fairly between lights.

The day was clean gone and the moon was not yet up. When Mick, or Michael Noonan, who's now going to be known as Mick, was walking smartly across the inch. Well, he heard coming down out of the wood, such blowing of horns and hollowing, and the cry of all the hounds in the world. And he thought they were coming after him, and the galloping of horses, and the voice of the whisperin, and he's shouting, just like the fine old song, hallow Piper Lily Agus Finder. Sure.

I think hallow Piper Lily Agus Finder is a song, but I don't know it, so. Okay, cool. A little content. But that sounds right. It's also like, I don't know the song okay cool a little but that that sounds right it's also like I don't know I don't know the song

referenced in my story either yeah but you sing it at weddings apparently so like all of a sudden

he's at this creepy fucking haunted mill and he just hears all of this crazy screaming I am so excited

is it the wild hunt i mean maybe what's the wild hunt uh i'm too drunk to answer this question um it's it's kind of fuzzy but there are many different cultures that have stories about the wild hunt in them when like hellhounds or whatever are coming to take you away yes that's definitely one aspect of it

it's something that happens on like especially mystical nights so Halloween for example where the wild hunt will ride across the sky oh I love that let's say yes and they usually have like for example, uh, where the wild hunt will ride across the sky. Oh, I love that. Let's say yes to that.

And they usually have like a bunch of different like fairy creatures, famous heroes. Um, and then also people who have been abducted and pressed into service who ride with them. I don't know. I mean, I just assume it was the Banshee okay that's also probably

i'm getting excited okay and the echo from over the gray rock across the river giving back every word as plainly as it was spoken but nothing could mix see and the shouting and hallowing followed him every step of the way till he got up to jack brian's door and he was certain too he heard the clack of the old henlund's mill going through all the clutter to be sure he ran as fast as fear and his legs could carry him and never once looked behind him well knowing that the do the do hollow hounds were out in quite another quarter that nothing good could come of that noise from Hanlon's mill.

I love that. Also, I love the phrase like ran as fast as fear. That's a really good turn of phrase. That's pretty fast. Well, Michael Noonan got his brogues and well healed. They were and well pleased.

He was with them when who should be seated at Jack Bryan's before him, but a gossip of his one Darby Haynes, a mighty decent man that had a horse and a cart of his own. And that used to be traveling with it, taking loads like the Royal mail coach between Cork and Limerick. And when he was at home, Darby was a near neighbor of Michael Noonan's. I love that. Both of our stories have like an explicit person who says this is the gossip this is the town gossip

this is the man and he's a well-liked man yeah story who doesn't love the town gossip it's where you get all of the good shit from. Is it home you're going with the brogues this blessed night? Said Darby to Mick. Where else would it be? But by my word, tis not across the inch and back again I'm going. After all I heard coming here, tis

no good that old Henlin's mill is busy again. Again. So this has happened before. Oh, yes. I love it. True for you, said Darby. And maybe you'd like to take the horse and car for me. Mick, by way of company, as tis along the road you go.

I'm waiting here to see a sister's son of mine that I expect from Kil Coleman. son of mine that I expect from Kill Coleman. And of course, after being offered to take a horse and cart, Mick says, hell yeah, with a thousand welcomes. 100%. Yeah. Anything that will convey me faster. Absolutely. So Mick drove the car fair and easy, knowing that the poor beast had come off a long journey.

And Mick, God reward him for it, was always tenderhearted and good to the dumb creatures. Oh my God. Which is so rude. Why is everybody so sassy to horses? So rude. But also, I do like that they're pointing out that he's really gentle with animals. Yeah, we love mick we stan a man who likes animals yeah likes animals and his good shoes yeah the night was a beautiful one

the moon was better than a quarter old and mick looking up at her could not help bestowing a blessing on her beautiful face shining down so sweetly upon the gentle Abag, which is the name of the river. He had now got out of the open road and had come to where the trees grew on each side of it. He proceeded for some space in the half and half light which the moon gave through them. At one time, when a big old tree got between him and the moon,

it was so dark that he could hardly see the horse's head. Then, as he passed on, the moonbeams would stream through the open boughs and variegate the road with lights and shades. Mick was lying down in the car at his ease, having got clear of the plantation, and was watching the bright piece of moon in a little pool at the roadside.

When he saw it disappear all of a sudden, as if a great cloud came over the sky. Ooh. He turned around on his elbow to see if it was so. But Halmik was astonished at finding

close alongside of the car a great high black coach drawn by six black horses with long black tails reaching almost down to the ground. Oh. Hmm.

And a coachman dressed all in black sitting upon the box. But what surprised Mick the most was that he could see no sign of a head either on the coachman or horses. That is so creepy. Yes, I love a headless horseman. I know, me too. And six headless horses. Yes. Oh, my God.

That's so freaky. It swept rapidly by him and he could perceive the horses raising their feet as if they were in a flying, slinging trot. Coachman touching them up with his long whip and the wheels spinning around like hottie-dotties. Which I looked up and I don't know what hottie-dotties, which I looked up and I don't know what hottie dotties are. Was looking it up. Not,

not, uh, helpful. No, it was not. I could not figure out what hottie dotties was. Okay. When I looked it up, it was like,

like hot hotties. And that's not helpful. And like, um, a hen packed, a hen packed man. Oh, so like a short stocky dude.

So I guess. Okay. i don't know maybe i just got a bunch of like results for a hop dotty burger bar oh that sounds good i wonder if that's a restaurant in the area i don't know i'm not sure i think it might be in in Alabama. I don't know why it showed up in my search results. Anyway. Anyway. So, still he could hear no noise, only the regular step of his gossip Darby's horse and the squeaking of the gudgeons of the car

that were as good as lost entirely for want of a little grease. of the car that were as good as lost entirely for want of a little grease so not only is he seeing this like huge like six black headless horses and a headless coachman but he doesn't hear them at all my god i love that that's so creepy i'm legitimately getting like like my um like the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up a little bit it's so creepy. After all the wailing. This poor guy. Yeah.

And apparently like Mick's not even drunk in this story. He's just like trying to get his shoes and go home. He's just haunted. He's just trying to get his shoes. Poor Mick's heart almost died within him, but he said nothing. Only looked on and the black coach swept away and was soon lost among some distant trees mix on nothing more of it or indeed of anything else he got home just as the moon so not anything else but like he just doesn't see anything

interesting afterwards oh my god when i first read that i was like, did he die? He saw nothing more. Right? Because he died. Yeah, that makes sense. So yeah, no, he just doesn't see anything like scary anymore. That's good. I think he's seen more than enough. Me too. He got home just as the moon was going down behind Mount Hillary,

took the tackling off the horse, turned the beast out in the field for the night and got to his bed. Next morning, early, he was standing at the roadside thinking of all that had happened the night before, and he saw Dan Madden, that was Mr. Rickson's huntsman, coming on the master's best horse down the hill, as hard as he ever went with the tail of the hounds. Mick's mind instantly misgave him that all was not right, so he stood out in the very middle of the road and caught hold of Dan's bridle when he came up. Mick, dear, for the love of God, don't stop me, cried Dan.

Why, what's the hurry, said Mick. Oh, the master, he's off, he's off. He'll never cross the horse again till the day of judgment. What? Why, what would ail his honor said mick sure it is no later than yesterday morning i was talking to him and he's stout and hardy and he says to me mick says he and he's interrupted stout and hardy was he answered madden and then he was and was he not

out with me in the kennel last night when i was feeding the dogs and didn't he come out to the stable and give a ball to peg Poloway with his own hand and tell me he'd ride the old general today? And sure, said Dan, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his coat. Who'd have thought that the first thing I'd see this morning was the mistress standing at my bedside

and bidding me get up and ride off like fire for the Dr. Johnson the master had got a fit. And poor Dan's grief choked his voice. Oh, Mick, if you have heart and you run over for yourself or send the gassoon for Kate Finnegan, the midwife, she's a cruel, skillful woman, and she might be able to save the master if I get the doctor. Oh, my God. Oh, is he possessed or something? Dan struck his spurs into the hunter, and Michael Noonan flung off his newly mended brogues and cut across the fields to Kate Finnegan's.

But neither the doctor nor Katie was to any avail. And the next night's moon saw Bally Giblin, which I don't really know what that means, and more is the pity, a house of mourning. The end. Oh my God. What? What?

What? So, my fix for the story is that, so if you didn't get that, basically somebody died. Uh-huh. We didn't really get to know them in the beginning. And that's my main like, fix for the story was that we didn't get that basically somebody died uh-huh we didn't really get to know them in the beginning and that's my main like fix for the story was that we didn't personally know um

well but like we met them briefly no we never met um mr rickson in the whole story wait what so wait who did who did um mick get the the horse in the cart from that was the gossip darby haynes darby haynes okay so yeah it's still okay good i'm glad the town how else are we gonna know the story if darby haynes isn't alive to tell it. Exactly. Oh my gosh. I didn't realize we don't actually know. So like all of this haunting stuff isn't even related to Mick. Mick just is on the periphery experiencing some of the like. Yeah.

Like effects of the haunting. But like. Basically he saw death and his six horses ride past him after he heard the banshee like wailing and predicting his death. That's wild. So I love the story. I think it's written very beautifully or told very beautifully. But yeah, I was a little confused. I was like, wait, who died?

Yeah, I think it's from the wrong person's perspective yeah this should have been a story told from the perspective of mrs rickson dealing with her husband's haunting and then subsequent death yep so points wise i know it was fun i was a little sad it didn't have more Banshee in it, but I did love that there was Banshee and Headless Horseman and horses. I love that there's Headless, like the coachman and the horses. That was really fun. That was a really fun mashup of a couple of different things.

And it was creepy as fuck like that. I'm glad Mick's me too poor mick just had to like deal with it i guess what a day i just want to double check because i i had to read this like a few times to understand i was like wait who died because i also thought they were in the story but i i think you're right because I don't remember hearing the name. Yeah, no. We talked about old Hanlon from the Hanlon's Mill. And then Master Edmund ended up getting the house and the Nagels got it after. So they don't ever talk about. So that was just like a little Irish tangent about this stupid mill. Like that's not actually important to the story.

I don't know why it's even called hanlon's mill like i know it should be called like something about mick the haunting of mick whatever like michael noonan trying to get his brogues just trying to get his shoes just trying to live his life man that was fun i really enjoyed that i think i should get a point for the banshee is haunting someone specific oh yeah 100 you definitely got that point and it might have been a family banshee but i have no idea that's not that was not um made clear no it was not but he did hear the banshees and saw like the death. I don't know. So creepy.

I thought that was fun. That was a really fun story. I enjoyed that very much. I'm glad you liked it. I thought it was good. That was extremely Irish. Oh, yeah. All the names,

all the places. Oh, my God. Very specific. I don't know. i am a little bit sad that um march is now over and we're done with irish fairy tales but you know we could do irish fairy tales when it's not march too so it's true i was already thinking maybe our April bonus episode, we can do more Irish fairy tales. Right? Because I love them. They're so much fun. They're so fun and I'm not ready to let them go yet. We did so many last year. I know. It feels like, I don't know, it feels like Irish fairy month just whipped by. So it did. Agreed.

So we're definitely going to be doing more Irish fairy tales at some point, but this does bring our March to a close. Thank you so much for listening to fairy tale fix. If you enjoyed the show, please subscribe and leave us a review on Apple or anywhere else that will allow you to do so. You can leave us five stars on apple or anywhere else that will allow you to do so you can leave us five stars on spotify if you love the show and want to support us in other ways i.e uh monetarily you can get

extra episodes merch books and other bonus content at our patreon by signing up at fairytalefix.cash and you can also find us on twitter and instagram at fairytalefixpod and you can also find us on twitter and instagram at fairy tale fix pod and you can also email us your favorite fairy tales folklore nursery rhymes and other such things at info at fairy tale fix pod.com and so in the middle of rescuing the seven-year-old phil from the giant mcmahon he also our protagonist also found the dumb white horse who kicked him in the forehead and got his revenge upon him somehow i don't want to be advocating for horse murder here because i feel like that happens enough you. Maybe the best revenge is just leaving the horse. Maybe he,

well, the, the, the plow hammer got twisted by the giant. Oh, that's right. Nevermind. So that wouldn't also not have been possible,

but he somehow gets revenge upon the horse. And the boy, it was also the boy's fault. Really? The boy was only seven. Leave him alone. Or fourteen. Technically fourteen, but in actuality seven.

And in my story, we got to learn about Mr. Rickson and why we should care about him at all at the very beginning of the story. It's a really good fix. Yeah. And they all lived. Except for Mr. Rickson. And the horse. And the horse. Happily ever after.

The end.