Fairy Tale Fix - 70: Smoosh Machine ft. Not My Fantasy

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

The Fixtresses are joined this episode by Cullen and Hannah from Not My Fantasy Podcast! Settle in for two Irish Fairy Tales about - you guessed it - evil landlords, fairy trickery, and the town drunk with the round butt getting up to no good.

but a woman without any lips to kiss by reason of her having no head. Just as good the second time. Just as good the second time. It's amazing. Hi there, Fairytale Fix listeners. Welcome back to the show. This is Abby. And I'm Kelsey.

And this is Fairytale Fix, as I previously mentioned two seconds ago, where we take fairy tales and fix them for a modern audience. And we're very lucky that we are joined by two wonderful guests today. We're so excited to have on Colin and Hannah from Not My Fantasy Podcast. Woohoo! Welcome! Hello! Hello! Hey guys! Oh my goodness, how are you? Welcome to Fairy Tale Fix. We're so excited for the stories you have for us today. Thank you for having us. It's been, it feels like forever since we talked to you guys on our podcast about the little mermaid yes if you haven't checked that out yet definitely go uh check it out it's on all the podcast platforms it's even on youtube i think uh-huh yeah yeah you can see a video of our faces i know it's crazy and we had the best time talking to you two about the little mermaid like i think we

talked for four hours about that movie whenever we do the disney movies they're so long because there's like you have to talk about the stories that inspired it the movie and then like all the cultural baggage that each one of these has like the little mermaid in particular has so much like cultural baggage yeah we want to tell us just a little bit about your podcast what inspired it how you got started it was cullen's idea so we had a podcast called glee boot where um with our friend alissa we watched all six seasons of glee talked about it it was a thing um so if you want to listen to that you can glee boot um but so sort of toward the end of that cullen's like i want to do another one but i want to do something about fantasy and folk tales and lore and because that's very much in his wheelhouse

and i was like i love giving my opinions on movies. Let's combine that and make Not My Fantasy podcast. So we basically talk about the lore, fairy tales, folklore, mythology. We're doing some mythology. At this point, I think when it comes out, we will have already done some mythology. We do Disney. Like we said, we did The Little Mermaid. So we kind of do a lot of that. We talk about what inspired the movies, and then we break down the movies, the themes, how it looks and sort of the tie ins to the original, quote unquote, source material.

So, yeah. Amazing. Yeah. And they've had some really great guests. I think the fairy tellers were on. What other guests have you had on? We just by, it'll be out. We will have had overly sarcastic

productions. Nice. We just, John from Life's About a Song. We had the Silly Marillion when we talked about Lord of the Rings. Oh, yeah. They were great. I'm sorry. The Silly Marillion? Isn't that such a great name?

Wasn't I just saying that I want them on our podcast were you saying that you wanted the silly Marillion on our podcast and I totally missed the pun and the name you know I don't think I mentioned the name of the podcast I don't think you did because I was just like the Lord of the Rings TikTok guy is he the silly Marillion

he's in silly Marillion on that show oh my god i love him even more i didn't think that was possible yeah they're great um yeah and

then we've also had like our friend t has a podcast obscure obsessions they talk about really obscure movies that people may or may

not have seen um yeah so yeah i mean we we get some we get some good guests including the fairy tale fix no big well good yeah everyone go check out not my fantasy pod uh where can they find you what are

your socials and all that stuff yeah we are at not my fantasy pod on instagram and tiktok and then um we're on YouTube, Not My Fantasy Podcast. Amazing. Hells yeah. Go check them out right now after this episode, actually. Don't go check them out yet. All right. So we do have a couple of questions that we'd like to ask our guests before we get started. What is your favorite childhood fairy tale and how would you fix it? I think for me, it is always a competition between Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. I think there's things I like about both of them. And, you know, I've written two long musicals about both those stories.

So I've thought about how I would fix them. You've written two musicals about them? Yes. In high school. Are you surprised at this point, Abby? No. yes in in high school are you surprised at this point i mean no the first thing i ever wrote in high school and i had that high school confidence of yes we need to put this on everyone i know needs to see it and be involved you know we i did a musical

of sleeping beauty called briar's awakens and something that i even recently rewrote it as a screenplay and the main point is focusing her sleeping beauty herself as the main character in her own story. Cause it's usually fairies or even Maleficent. Like she cannot catch a break. So it's like, let's give her her story, which I did.

I was 16. So I did that imperfectly, but I improved it as I did rewrites. And then I wrote for my senior thesis. I in college, I did this was like four hours it was way too long but this musical called as dreamers do that was a brothers grim cinderella adaptation with a lot of lore there were pirates in it fuck yes yes so and the i'm in the main thing was again making her the hero of her own story and also channeling the Brothers Grimm Cinderella

does a lot of very unexplained things and kind of being like, how does she have these abilities? Why can she grow trees and talk to birds? And so there's kind of a backstory where she had hidden magical powers. And Frozen came out while we were making it. I was like, ugh. It was a lot of fun. I recently rewrote that one too.

There's a lot going on, but there's some great music. I don't write the music itself. I write lyrics, but I had some talented composers that I worked with. That's so cool. Amazing. I really want to see both of them with. Wow. That's so cool. Amazing. I really want to see both of them now. You can listen to the soundtrack. We can send you a copy.

On Spotify? I have physical CDs. And then the musical I did in high school is on YouTube. I think the one I did in college is on Google Drive. You should absolutely send me the soundtrack i want it i will i'll instagram you'd be like what address hell yeah please just know that i think it's in the lyric book but you know we were working in like a small studio and with high school age singers so at one point it's supposed to be who kick chopped a horde like he chopped a horde of people

but it sounds like he's saying who kick chopped a whore and i'm like the prince did not do a domestic violence that's not what we're trying to say that's a good good caveat love that bad diction good caveat amazing hannah what about you what's your favorite childhood fairy tale and how would you fix it um so mine is a little bit it's different because I didn't actually read fairy tales growing up I basically only saw Disney movies um and I would say my top most watched favorite was Aladdin and even to this day I haven't read any of of like any of the quote unquote source material for the story. So I'm excited to do that episode on our podcast, Cullen. But I mean, yeah, Aladdin was the movie I went to constantly.

And I was actually thinking about it today. Cullen loves a lot of movies with princesses. And I just never really got into princess movies. Cause I mean, Jasmine isn't the main character. Aladdin was, I love the lion King. Little mermaid is like the only exception. Um,

so I would say Aladdin little mermaid were my top two growing up, just constantly rewatched. So. Hell yeah. And those are two absolute classics. Yeah. Good pick. So I'm learning a lot from Cullen and also from your guys's podcast

of just like all the tales that are out there that i didn't even know because i just never got into it i don't know i was very much a sit down and watch movie kid well i think that's a lot of people and that's us honestly like when we read these fairy tales it's the first time we're really reading them and they surprise us so much and it's so much fun kind of discovering them like like colin when you're talking about cinderella i actually haven't read a lot of the earlier versions of cinderella so when i think of it i imagine the disney movie so i'm yeah it's exciting to go back and like discover that stuff yeah we definitely need to get around actually doing Cinderella on our podcast

because we haven't done it yet. I don't think I've ever actually read the original version. It's a behemoth of a story. It is literally almost in every culture, it is the most universal story. You can't even trace its origin. Even the top linguistic people who do

that shit, they... I'm sorry. Wait, we can swear, right? Yeah, absolutely. I'm like, I've listened to your podcast but i'm like wait uh but like the like cinderella is just this ancient like thing it is such a and so we're probably will not tackle it all in this but when this episode comes out of fairy tale fix we'll be in the middle of our cinderella series and we'll be doing five different cinderella movies oh that's gonna be so fun 8 000 i know that thing is like we're not even scratching the surface and we're already not gonna just probably ever really include like the cinderella story franchise with like you have hillary duff and selena gomez and sofia carson

and laura moreno and that other girl who was on Once Upon a Time and in that Bible Camp musical. Yeah, Bailey Adams. But like, it's just there's so many Cinderella movies. We could never have watched them all. It would be impossible. Yeah, you have to pick just a few.

And there's so many variants of Cinderella in the world. The thing is like 95 percent or 98 of every cinderella movie is just based on the french charles ferro cinderella so i can't wait to find out like to see which ones you pick too that'll be really cool we'll definitely be listening to that episode i'm so curious oh yeah um you never said how you'd fix them though hannah oh yeah i mean we already kind of talked about little mermaid and some of the ways that we would uh sort of modernize it and

we also talked about the new little mermaid movie and actually that's kind of what i'll talk about is one of the things i came away with from the live action remake was that we actually got to see eric and ariel develop as a couple we got to see them actually have stuff in common sorry if i'm spoiling it for anyone but um i don't think i'm spoiling anything this kind of you know basically they're like we actually get to see them develop as a couple and we see that they have curiosity in common and it's not just like boy meets girl and they're in love you know so i think that it makes it more palatable for modern audiences and i think it just makes it more rich of a story like you can fall right into it you can fall in love along with them you know so yeah totally agreed yeah

i think i would like that for aladdin too actually and i have not seen the live action remake and i won't kelsey does not like that one as i recall i also have not seen it partially because kelsey hated it so much yeah i did i hated it i i yeah i think it i feel i'm sad that i i thought it was like more adequate compared to like the beauty and the beast remake but still i would never choose to watch it over the aladdin animated movie because comparatively like that movie has so much energy and so you watch yeah watching them in comparison to live action. It's like so sleepy. Yes. Yeah.

That's honestly a lot of the issues with live action remakes. It's like, it's hard to go from a cartoon where everybody's overacting and then watch it on like, as it would happen in like, you know, the real world. And it's like,

Oh, this is really kind of boring. Or make the animal sidekicks not look weird yeah yeah that's hard oh no did like did abu look weird or something i think he was just a monkey right i don't even remember abu i think my brain is refilling the monkey from parts of the caribbean that was a good monkey like it a lot of personality they nailed that monkey that monkey was perfect top tier Hollywood monkey

what a great casting choice I don't know if we said on air but we're doing Irish fairy tales Cullen and I and we all kind of go together we love Irish fairy tales here i'm sorry which is like when when you sent me the like when you sent me the message saying you were doing irish fairy

tales i was just like yes yeah i mean cullen callahan what an irish name yeah middle name patrick yeah my name not so irish but i am pretty irish Nice. Yeah. So do you want me to start with background? Yes. Go ahead and tell us the title. Okay. Oh, yeah. And then as much background as you want to give us before our predictions. It depends on how hard you want to make it for us. Yeah. Okay. So it's called The Farmer Punished. And essentially, what was actually helpful about the online version of this is that it came with sort of a little paragraph before, which I'll read, but kind of quickly summarize. Basically, fairies don't like capitalism. You know, amazing, you know, they don't like the sort of concepts of thrift and economy. They're all about sharing

the wealth, you know, the ultimate socialist comrades. So I'll kind of read the sort of excerpt here. The fairies with their free, joyous temperament and love of beauty and luxury hold in great contempt the minor virtues of thrift and economy. And above all things abhor the close, hard, penny-pinching nature that spends grudgingly and never gives freely. They seem to hold it as their peculiar mission to punish such people and make them suffer for the sins of their hard heart and penny-pinching hand.

And we'll see that in the following tale. Excellent. I love it. It's my favorite thing about Irish fairy tales in particular. That like it's it is super like fuck landlords. Fuck misers. Especially fuck the British. And like I love it.

Like let's go. Let's like let's hear it for the old ways and hedonism. I know I had so much fun looking through the stories and seeing all that and like I'm like oh there's so many good little tidbits and this one was recorded by Oscar Wilde's mother Lady Wilde oh cool she was

a famous fairy tale collector oh that's so funny I've always seen Lady Wilde in the book and I never like connected that it was Oscar Wilde's mother I feel you talked about it was Oscar Wilde's mother. I feel you've talked about it. Have we? Yeah, I remember I read a Lady Wilde story and I was like, I wonder if she's any relation to Oscar

and then I looked it up. Just all applesauce. Maybe I didn't mention it. Maybe I didn't mention it on air. I was going to say, I've been there. There's so many times where I'm like, we never talked about this and Cone's like, we talked about it two episodes ago. I was like to say, I've been there. There's so many times where I'm like, we never talked about this in Cones. We talked about it two episodes ago.

I was like, did we? Because I was at the episode and I edited it. That's weird. And I edited it. That's the best. Oh, God. You heard it twice and it still doesn't stick. No, it sticks.

Yeah, same. It's a good thing we're so pretty and funny. You know what? That's all you need to be is pretty and funny. And then Colin and I will handle everything else, I guess. Perfect. Okay.

I will go first if that's okay, Abby. Yes, have at it. Otherwise, I will copy yours i know it abby makes really good predictions i feel like they're always wrong but they're good yeah they're like my predictions are always too detailed kelsey's like absolutely winning our points game because she goes with general one boring yeah i'm like genuinely trying to win even though there are no stakes okay first prediction i know it says the farmer punished but i still want to guess that there's a bad landlord fuck yeah i just irish the irish hate landlords

so much and i feel like push them off a cliff. That's going to be in there. My second prediction is that someone dies at the hands of the fae. Not just curse. I want to predict that somebody dies. Murder. And then thirdly, I predict that there are going to be talking farm animals.

Interesting. Alright. Because that's a pretty... I feel like that's a pretty common trope in these irish tales they should like say something sassy at the end little button line okay my predictions um the protagonist encounters a strange man at the crossroads there's a test of some sort that someone fails someone drinks the fairy wine that's what i want oh yeah if i don't get satisfaction in this story i'm gonna roll that one over to colin yeah right it's like i'm saving that one i'm saving meg copying that one

for the next one um and then colin is actually not going to be making any predictions because they picked their stories out together. So if anyone's wondering. He already knows. Which is fine. That's okay. There are no rules. I was like, we could hide it and just play up. And then I was like, now knowing that there's points involved.

That would have been so cheaty. Dishonest. Who do you think you are? Who do you think we are? Someone bringing a case to the Supreme Court? Oh, spicy. Too soon. I wouldn't lie under perjury. That's my hot take.

Or lie under oath and commit perjury. That is a super spicy, mega hot take. I'm so surprised. And for all of us. All right. All right. Lay it on us.

Please tell. Okay. The Farmer Punished. A farmer once lived near the Boyne, close to an old churchyard. He was very rich and had crops and cattle, but was so hard and avaricious that the people hated him. For his habit was to get up very early in the morning and go out to the fields to watch that no one took a cabbage or a turnip or got a cup of milk when the cows were being milked for the love of God and the saints. One morning.

So this guy hates mutual aid. Yeah. I would hate this guy too. He gets up every morning just to watch just to make sure people don't like eat the worst literally the worst um one morning as he was out as usual by sunrise spying about the place he heard a child crying bitterly. Oh, mother, mother, I'm hungry. Give me something, or I'll die. Hush, darling, said the mother, though the hunger is on you, wait, for the farmer's cow will be

milked presently, and I'll knock down the pail so the milk will be spilled upon the ground, and you can drink your fill. When the farmer heard this, he sent a stout man to watch the girl that milked and to tie the cow's feet so she should not kick so that no milk was spilled upon the ground. The next morning, he went out again by sunrise and he heard the child crying more bitterly than before. Mother, mother, I'm hungry.

Give me something to eat. Wait, my child, said the mother. The farmer's maid bakes cakes today and I'll make the dish fall just as she's carrying them from the griddle, so we shall have plenty to eat this time. Oh, I'm just going to scoop garbage food up off the floor to feed you because that's literally all we can get. That's poverty. By trickery.

That fucking sucks. Yeah. Then the farmer went home and locked up the meal and said no cake shall be baked today not till the night but the cry of the child was in his ears and he could not rest so early in the morning early in the morning he was out again and bitter was the cry of the child mother mother it said i've had no milk i've had no cake Let me lay down my head upon your breast and die. Wait, said the mother. Someone will die before you, my darling.

Yeah. Let the old man look to his son, for he will be killed in battle before many days are over. And then the curse will be lifted from the poor and we shall have our food in plenty. Eat the rich, just eat him. But the farmer laughed. There's no war in Ireland now, he said to himself. How then can my son be killed in battle? And he went home to his own house.

And there in the courtyard was a son cleaning his spear and sharpening his arrows. He was a comely youth, tall and slender as a young oak tree, and his brown hair fell in long curls over his shoulders. Father, he said, I'm summoned by the king, for he is at war with the other kings. So give me the swiftest horse you have, for I must be off tonight to join the king's men. And see, I have my spears and arrows ready. Now at the time in Ireland, there were four great Kings. Each of them had two deputies and the King of Leinster made a great feast for the deputies.

And to seven of them, he gave a brooch of gold each, but to the eighth, only a brooch of silver for, he said, the man is a rot, a Prince like the others. Then the eighth deputy was angry and he struck the king's page full in the face

for handing him the brooch of silver. On this, all the knights sprang up and drew their swords and some took one part and some another. And there was a great fight in the hall. And afterwards, the four kings quarreled. The king of Leinster sent out messengers to bid all his people to come help him. So the farmer's son got the message as well as the others. And he made ready at once to join the battle with a proud heart for the sake of the king and a young man's love of adventure. Wait, hang on. I'm just going to go ahead and I need to sort through that paragraph. So Ireland has four kings. There's four. And the king of Leinster. the king of leinster the king of leinster invited his own like it seemed like he invited the deputies of all the kings of all the kings okay yeah and then he gave

most of them gold and he gave one of them silver and why did he give that one because the man is rot a prince like the others is not like the other not a prince yeah i was like there's a typo here i think not a prince like not a prince like the others he only got silver again the rich fucking suck um like they're not even nice to each other no and they're just they're weird and classist silver petty. Because you just suck more. Yeah, you're not a prince like the rest of us, which means you're just, you are on a lower tier. You're trash. Because you're trash.

Okay. And so they all fought each other. And so now all the kings are at war and the king of Leinster needs people to fight the other kings. All right. Thank you. I'm caught up up now i understand what's happening yeah when i was a petty bitch now i need your sons to come fight the other kings for me because exactly yeah he's like help help me uh so then the farmer was filled with rage this is the wicked work of the witch woman he said but as because i would not give her the milk to spill nor the cakes when baked so i will not give her the life of my only son it's definitely the woman's fault and not the petty yeah not being

petty assholes to each other i mean how did she know though she did predict i would also be a little suspicious he's only hearing this person. So it is kind of suspicious. But he took the large stones and built up great walls the height of a man, round as a hut, and set a great stone at the top to close it, only leaving places for a vessel of food to be handed down.

And he placed the lad, his son, within the hut. Okay. He was the most. Now, he said, the king shall not have him nor the king's men he is safe from battle in the spears of warriors but the next morning i feel like i feel like it's not even so much that he's doing this for his son but like to prove that lady wrong oh yeah yep it's his own pride yeah uh so the next morning he rose up quite content and was at sunrise as usual. As he walked by the churchyard, he heard the child laughing.

And the mother said, child, you laugh by a grave. For the farmer's son will be laid in that ground before three days are over. And then the curse will be lifted from the poor. He would not let the milk be spilled nor the cakes be baked, but he cannot keep his son from death. The spell is on him for evil. And then a voice said, but his father has walled him round in a hut with strong walls.

High as a man. How then can he die in battle? And then the woman answered, I climbed the hut last night and gave him nine stones and bade him to throw throw them one by one over his left shoulder and each time a stone of the wall would fall down till free space was left for him to escape and this he did and before sunrise this morning he fled away and joined the king's army but his grave is ready and in three days he will be in this ground for his doom is spoken. That's cold.

So my fix is that the child's laughing because of what his mom said, because he's like, yeah, this kid is like, he's ready to eat. So when the farmer heard these words, he rushed like mad to the hut, called his son by name,

but no answer came. Then he climbed up and looked through the hole at the top, but no sign of his son was there. And he went out to meet them. And there lay the corpse of the young man on the, on the buyer, pale and beautiful, struck through and through by a spear, even as he had died in battle. And they laid him in the churchyard, just as the witch woman had foretold, while all the people wept, for the young man was noble to look upon and of a good and upright spirit. But the father neither spoke nor wept. His mind was gone and his heart was broken. And soon he laid down and died unpitied by all. For he was hard and cruel in his life and no man wept for him. And all the riches he had gathered by grinding down the poor melted away.

And his race perished from the land and his name was heard of no more. And no blessing rested on his memory the end oh that was a happy ending bye bitch no one mourned you no one marked your grave your assets were dissolved and everybody was delighted that you were dead. You were forgotten very quickly. At least your son was hot. We liked him, but not you. He was nice to look at. And he seemed like a good person.

They said that he was good and upright. It did seem sad that he was dead. He died because of his father's pride and billionaireism. Billionarism. I love that the story doesn't even explain that he became rich off of grinding down the poor. It says he won't let them take anything. Let's just assume that he's rich because he's oppressed people. I love that.

Like you could assume that like I love it in Irish fairy tales. Most of the time that's assumed about anyone that's, like, accumulated enough wealth. It was like, he's, oh, he's rich. We can assume that he didn't come by that in a nice way. Yeah. Yeah. The rule of capitalism is kind of, like, you can't get to, like, billionaire status or even millionaire status without stepping on people and like taking away someone's rights or happiness or general well-being and ireland experience i don't want to get too much into the history here but essentially like being a colony but in europe

and so like capitalism was kind of invented on top of them and that like they were the only peasants that had landlords that had to pay rent like if feudalism you like lived on the landlord's land and you know like worked it but it wasn't like you were paying for it yeah they had to pay for it and give them the crops it's like they just invented all this terrible shit to go to put those people through and that's shit that now we all go through but they experienced it first so they made up fairy tales yeah oh wow um do we have any fixes for that story um my main one was that i kind of wanted to see him get punished throughout the story instead of just at the end not so much in like big ways but in

smaller ways to kind of see the effects of his choices on his own wealth like how it's ruining it so like he had to stop baking cakes i kind of wanted his family to like complain to him be like why don't we have anything good to eat you know like annoying him making him just unhappy and then like he had to make that guy go and watch the milkmaid what if that guy was like the the shepherd herding the sheep and then like the sheep got attacked and so he lost like a big chunk of his wealth that way that's really like i kind of wanted a little bit more of that so that like it kind of snowballs and then finally like he has this big loss and then it's just like fuck so yeah that's kind of my big one i kind of wanted him to suffer more throughout the story and i wrote my notes is that bad no that's an excellent fix i think yeah i think that's perfect

like yeah that's a perfect one because i think that then it snowballs more into like um like there's a couple of losses that he gets through his greed, but he's so wealthy that like, there's other ways that he can compensate for those losses. But then there's finally this one big loss that no amount of money can protect you from. Yeah. That,

that really is sort of like delivers sort of the final blow. I like that. That's a great fix, Hannah. Yeah yeah my other one was that like i didn't mind that the fairy was like yeah i gave him some stone so he could free himself and he'd go get killed in the war but i kind of wanted the son to just die because he was put in the hut and that like he died yeah that would have hands. Agreed. Like that would be more fulfilling for me as the reader. Yeah.

Cause it'll, I guess it's not bad. No, I think that's like, that's more, that's more like poetic of like in your, in your attempt to preserve the, to preserve this,

like this person, like you inadvertently caused their fate like i always i always i love i love shit like that where it's like yeah that's excellent very very good fixes very good story that was really fun oh irish fairy tales the best yeah my i don't have a fix for it my only thought would be you could use this as a backstory for a great like smutty fairy ya novel where like between like one of the fey boy girl both whatever and like the farmer's son and like there's this curse on him because of the what his father has done so you could like use that as like a foundation for like some big epic but i i just i think it's as it is i read it and i was like wow

i just this is perfect yeah colin was like i've got some eat the rich stories it's like yes please huh perfection yeah um absolute perfection no i think you got one point that there was well i don't know that he failed a test i i also think this is up for debate uh-huh i would give that to you yeah i would like if he just let the kid have if he just let the fairies have some milk like yeah yeah like because i mean do fairies really need this milk and cake? Our background says, no, they just want to fuck with rich people. And so it's like, yeah, I think this is a test for him. And he fails miserably.

Well, because he's also not following the fairy rules. Because the fairy rules are that you leave out a bit of milk and a little, and a little food on purpose to appease. Yes. And the reason this, the reason this fairy child is starving is he's not observing the rules. True. Yeah. Like he is not leaving out milk and bread. Yeah.

Which goes to my points. Someone dies at the hands of the Faye. Does that, I mean, she frees him so that he can go and die she knows he's gonna die yeah she's causing him to do that so does she curse you hannah are you gonna give me that point i'm gonna give you that point but also it makes me wonder if the fairies also had something to do with the war the war like starting that fight and it was just to punish this one guy

that's so great though if that's true that is such a fairy thing to do yeah so that's kind of interesting so yeah i think you both get a point because thank you thank you you are very generous at first i put zero on my thing and then i was like wait a minute yeah as soon as you said that i was like oh and then i heard like the test i was like there are arguments to be made for both of these sorry no talking animals and no drinking fairy wine it's too bad yeah that's okay we have another story yeah all right colin what are you telling us today my story is called the good woman and i there's some twists so i don't want to spoil anything by giving context into the kind

of creature this story will be referring to we can talk about that when it's done but i think i don't want to ruin the twist just the title is the good woman and uh there's a lot of irony and like the narrator is like saying one thing but i think you're meant to be like to like read between the lines and see like what the narrator is actually saying about these people. Interesting. All right. I love it. Okay. I'll go first this time on my predictions. I think good woman does it. I think it's,

I think that's actually like slang for witch. That's my prediction. All right. Cause I've seen that in a couple of other fairy tales where like, you know the village good woman or good or wise wise one or something like that so i'm thinking good woman is actually she's actually a magic user um a magic user i love that she's a spellcasting she's she does magic somehow yes she's yeah she's a spellcasting class of some sort.

Yeah. I'm rolling over. Someone drinks the fairy wine because I want it. Desperate. And you actually see a fairy in this one. Because I also want that. All right. I am going to predict that the good woman is not so good at all.

It's not really going off of Abby's. I just think it's funny when it's like kind of a play on words it's not like I don't know the titles never really match the rest of the story very rarely uh my second prediction is gonna be that I don't know I'm gonna say that there is an innocent child because we don't know what if what or if there's any type of fake creature in this story yeah I went very heavy on the magic predictions and mine I'm realizing

and not on the anti-capitalist predictions I'll give you the hint it's a little more anti-patriarchy than anti-capitalist predictions. I'll give you the hint. It's a little more anti-patriarchy than anti-capitalist. Oh, I love that. All of that's great. My third prediction. I want to predict that it's based off of... Hold on.

I want to predict that it's based off of... Hold on. I'm going to predict that there is a really specific name of a person in the story. All right. Are we ready to go? Let's do it. I'm so excited. We're doing The Good Woman by T. Crofton Crocker. I don't think any relation to Betty.

That's good. In a pleasant and not unpicturesque valley of the White Knights country at the foot of the Galti Mountains lived Larry Dodd and his wife Nancy. I should have predicted everyone's got names.

Oh, I love that. Nancy. They rented a cabin and a few acres of land, which they cultivated with great care. And its crops rewarded their industry. They were independent and respected by their neighbors. They loved each other in a marriageable sort of way.

And few couples had altogether more the appearance of comfort about them. That is such a cute way to say that they had a good marriage. They loved each other in a marriageable sort of way. Let's not overstate it. Let's not go crazy or anything, but it was fine.

They were great. They were okay. Larry was a hard-working and occasionally a hard-drinking Dutch-built little man with a hardworking and occasionally a hard drinking, Dutch-built little man with a fiddle head and a round stern. A steady-going, straightforward fellow, barring when he carried

too much whiskey, which it must be confessed, might occasionally prevent his walking the chalked line with perfect philomathical accuracy. Wow! This story is so long. He's not going to pass that test when he gets home. No, he does not.

In his carriage. He had a most ready countenance, rather inclined to an expression of gravity, and particularly so in the morning. But taken altogether, he generally looked upon as a marvelously proper person, notwithstanding he had every day in the morning, but taken altogether, he generally looked upon as a marvelously proper person, notwithstanding he had every day in the year a sort of unholy dew upon his face, even in the coldest weather, which gave rise to a supposition, among centrist persons of course,

that Larry was apt to indulge in strong and frequent potations however all men of talents have their faults indeed who is without them and it is and as larry setting aside his domestic virtues and skill and farming was decidedly the most distinguished breaker of horses for 40 miles around he must in some degree be excused considering the inducements of the stirrup cup and the fox hunting society in which he mixed if you had also sorry this is like jane austen levels of like shade like very polite shade sweaty motherfucker he's a drunk bitch like he's a drunk bitch with a great ass written too is so like oral storytelling yeah like this is the old man telling a story about someone he actually knew or his grandfather actually knew in the pub like we get a lot of details about this guy uh i love like and some people sense censorious people you know not me

not me but they do say he had an unholy do about him but they also said a round stern which makes me wonder is like is it that important to note that he has a great ass oh interesting i thought it was like he was like very rotund but maybe it is well a stern a stern is in the back oh oh i get it around stern i don't know i sternum and so he's fat he's got a fat thick boy i think he's thick i think he's thick no i had like larry dodd has a he's a fucking drunk he's good at breaking horses and he's got a great ass that's what everyone says about larry dodd and he kept fucks in society in which he mixed uh and if he had also been the greatest drunkard in the county but in truth that wasn't

the case like he wasn't the drunkest guy he He's not the drunkest guy. He was a man of mixed habits, as well in his mode of life and his drink as in his costume. His dress accorded well with his character, a sort of half and half between farmer and horse jockey. He wore a blue coat of coarse cloth with short skirts and a stand-up collar. His waistcoat was red and his lower habiliments were made of leather, which in course of time had shrunk so much

that they fitted like a second skin. And Long Use had... Show off that ass. To show off that great ass. And Long Use had absorbed their moisture to such a degree that they made a strange sort of crackling noise as he walked along. This is like wild.

They make him like so gross, but also like just funny. He's just hilarious to look at. He had a hat covered with oil skin, a cutting whip, all worn and jagged at the end. a cutting whip all worn and jagged at the end a pair of second hand or to speak more correctly second footed greasy top boots that seem never to have imbibed a refreshing draught of warren's blacking of matchless luster he did not take care of his boots didn't shine his shoes yes one taking care of anything one spur without a rowel completed the every dress of day dress of larry todd oh so even his spurs are just like one spur is actually missing like the spur bit yeah yeah uh thus equipped was larry returning from cashel

mounted on a rough coated and well wall-eyed nag though notwithstanding these and a few other trifling blemishes a well-built animal having just purchased the said nag with a fancy that he could make his own money again of his bargain and maybe turn an odd penny more of it at the ensuing kildaree fair well well pleased with himself he trotted fair and easy along the road in the delicious and lingering twilight of a lovely june evening thinking of nothing at all only whistling and wondering would horses always be so low? If they go at this rate, he said to himself, for half nothing, and that paid in butter buyer's notes,

who would be the fool to walk? So it means like he bought it with IOUs, because they start saying that later. And so, because I was like, butter, okay. This very thought indeed was passing in his mind when his attention was roused by a woman pacing quickly by the side of his horse and hurrying on as if endeavoring to reach her destination before the night closed in her figure considering the long strides she took appeared to be under the common size rather of the dumpy order. But further as to whether the damsel was young or old,

fair or Brown, pretty or ugly, Larry could form no precise notion from her wearing a large cloak, the usual garb of the female Irish peasant, the hood of which was turned up and completely concealed every feature. So honestly, up until this point too, I completely forgot that this was called the

good woman i was so like invested in the stock leonard's biography yeah exactly yeah uh more make more mean observations about because how much you want to bet this man's gonna leave this woman alone um no no i have no money actually actually i'm a little worried for larry at this point like i feel like when you're usually a drunkard and you come across like somebody in the road it's not gonna be good for you no not at all enveloped in this mass of dark and concealing drapery, the strange woman, without much exertion, contrived to keep up with Larry Dodd's steed for some time,

when his master very civilly offered her a lift behind him as far as he was going her way. Civility begets civility, they say. However, he received no answer, and thinking that the lady's silence proceeded only from bashfulness, like a man of two-gallon tree. Oh, dear. Oh, God.

Not a word more said Larry, until he pulled up by the side of a gap, and then, says he, Ma Colleen Begg, my pretty girl, just jump up behind me without a word more, though never a one have you spoke, and I'll take you safe and sound through the lonesome bit of road that is before us.

She jumped at the offer, sure enough, and up with her on the back of the horse as light as a feather. In an instant, there she was, seated up behind Larry, with her hand and arm buckled around his waist, holding on. Okay, I have a question. So she just, like, leapt up. Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

So was she, like, walking as fast as this horse or was he just like lightly trotting or was he going at a quip and she was keeping up? I don't think he was full galloping, but she's keeping up with him on horse. Yeah. I mean, that's a fast walker. I'm a fast walker. Yeah. It really depends on how fast that horse was going how much

i judge larry for not noticing that this is probably a supernatural person like thank you well at least at least he's being polite like he's he's following the rules he's doing everything that he should be civility begets civility especially when it comes to fairies oh gosh i hope you're comfortable there my dear said larry in his own good humored way Oh, gosh. except the moaning of a distant stream. They kept up a continued cronane, a drowsy humming noise, like a nurse hushing. Larry, who had a keen ear, did not, however, require so profound a silence to detect the click of one of the shoes.

It is only a loose shoe, that is, said he to his companion, as they were just entering on the lonesome bit of road of which he had before spoken. Some old trees with huge trunks all covered and irregular branches festooned with ivy grew over a dark pool of water, which had been formed as a drinking place for cattle.

And in the distance was seen the majestic head of Galtimore. Here the horse, as if in grateful recognition, made a dead halt. And Larry, not knowing what vicious tricks his new purchase might have, and unwilling that through any odd chance the young woman might get spilt in the water, dismounted, thinking to lead the horse quietly by the pool. By the piper's luck that always found what he wanted, said Larry, recollecting himself, I have a nail in my pocket. Tis not the first time I've put on a shoe, and it won't be the last,

but here is no one of paving stones to make hammers in plenty. No sooner was Larry off than off the spring came the young woman just at his side. Her feet touched the ground without making the least noise in life, and away she bounded like an ill-mannered wench,

as she was. That's me. ill-mannered wench as she was uh by your leave uh as she was without saying by your leave or no matter what else she seemed to glide rather than run not along the road but across a field up towards the old ivy covered walls of kiln the slattery, and a pretty church it was. Not so fast, if you please, young woman, not so fast, cried Larry. And then Larry recognized that this was a supernatural thing and

re-shot his horse and went on his way. Right? He's calling after her. But away she ran, and Larry followed, his leathern garment, already described described crackling every step he took. Oh, jeez. Have that ass.

Where's my wages, said Larry. Throw them pog, my clean og. Give me a kiss, my young girl. Oh, gross. We're all rooting for you. We're all rooting for you, Larry. all rooting for you larry i know come on buddy oh sure i've earned a kiss from your pair of pretty lips and i'll have it too but she went on faster and faster so much cringe oh my god regardless of these and other flattering

speeches from her pursuer at last she came to the churchyard wall and then went over it with her in an instant. Well, she's a mighty smart creature, anyhow, to be sure. How neat she steps upon her pastures. Did anyone ever see the like of that before? But I'll not be barked by any woman that ever wore a head or any ditch either, exclaimed Larry. Wow, Larry. Some foreshadowing. Go home, Larry. You're drunk. You're drunk. Larry

kind of reminds me of my grandpa a little bit. Oh, no. Oh, gosh. As with a desperate bound, Larry vaulted, scrambled, and tumbled over the wall into the churchyard. Up he got from the elastic sod of a newly made grave in which Ted Leary that morning was buried.

Rest his soul. And on went Leary, stumbling over headstones and footstones, over old graves and new graves, pieces of coffins and the skulls and bones of dead men. The Lord save us. Oh, man. Men, straight men will really go to any length to harass ladies seriously uh they were scattered about there as plenty as paving stones floundering amidst great

overgrown dock leaves and brambles as with their long prickly arms tangled around his limbs and held him back with a fearful grasp meantime Meantime, the merry wench in the cloak moved through all these obstructions as evenly and as gaily as if the churchyard, crowded up as it was with graves and gravestones, for people came to be buried there from far and near, had been the floor for a dancing room. Round and round the walls of the old church she went. I'll just wait, said Larry, seeing this, and thinking it all nothing but a trick to frighten him when she comes around again if i don't take a kiss i won't that's all and here she is larry larry dodd sprung forward with open arms and clasped in them a woman it is true but a woman without any lips to kiss by reason of her having no head. Ah! Yes!

Amazing! Because he said no woman with a head is going to get him. No head. Murder, cried he. Well, that accounts for her not speaking. Take it in stride, Larry. Having uttered these words, Larry himself became dumb with fear and astonishment

his blood seemed to turn to ice and a dizziness came over him staggering like a drunken man he rolled against the broken window of the ruin horrified of the conviction that he had actually held a doula hand in his embrace what's a it's a doula hand like a hot like a like a head like it's like it's like the headless ghost right like yeah it's like a headless horseman variant it kind of also just means like hobgoblin malevolent spirit but they were often like headless beings associated associated with death i found this in the banshee section of the book. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, cool. When he recovered

to something like a feeling of consciousness, he slowly opened his eyes, and then indeed, a scene of wonder burst upon him. In the midst of the ruins stood an old wheel of torture, ornamented with heads. Get him! Like Cork Gale

when the heads of Mertie Sullivan and other gentlemen were stuck upon it. Specific people. I love that it's got specific like more people with names. Do you remember Mertie? Remember when she got stuck up in that jail? Yeah.

This was plainly visible in the strange light which spread itself around. It was fearful to behold, but Larry could not choose but look, for his limbs were powerless through the wonder and fear. Useless as it was, he would have called for help, but his tongue cleaved to the roof of his mouth, and not one word could he say. In short, there was Larry gazing through a shattered window of the old church,

with eyes bleared and almost startling from their sockets. His breasts rested on the thickness of the wall, over which, on one side, his head and outstretched neck projected. On the other, although one toe touched the ground, it derived no support from sense. Terror, as it were, kept him balanced. Strange noises assailed his ears, until at last they tingled painfully to the sharp clatter of little bells, which kept up a continued ding, ding, ding. Merriless bones rattled and clanked

and the deep and solemn sound of a great bell came booming on the night wind. This is giving... It's giving the Haunted Mansion the last scene when you're in the graveyard. And like that, it has a song. Twas a specter rung the bell when it swung, swing, swang, and the chain it creaked

and the pulley creaked, squeaked, swing, swang, and with every roll of the deep chest told, ding, dong, and the hall vault rang and the clapper went bang, ding, dong. Yeah. Incredible. It was a strange music to dance by but nevertheless moving to it round and round the wheel set with skulls were well-dressed ladies and gentlemen and soldiers and sailors and priests

and publicans and jockeys and jennies but all without their heads good excellent some poor skeletons whose bleached bones were ill covered by moth-eaten paws and who are not admitted to the ring amuse themselves by bowling their brainless noodles at one another they seem to enjoy the sport beyond measure that's amazing larry did not know what to think his brains were all in a mist and losing the balance which he had so long maintained, he fell head foremost into the midst of the company of Dullahans. Undone for and lost forever, roared

Larry, with his heels turned toward the stars. And thus down he came. Welcome, Larry Dodd, welcome, cried every head, bobbing up and down in the air. A drink for Larry Dodd, shouted they, as with one voice,

they quavered like a shake on the bagpipes. No sooner said than done for a player at heads, catching his own as it was bold to him, so he caught his own head. For fear of it going astray, jumped up, put the head without a word under his left arm, and with the right stretched out, presented a brimming cup to Larry,

who, to show off his manners, drank it like a man yes yes drink it like a man larry drink it tis capital stuff he would have said which surely it was but he got no further than cap when decapitated was he and his head began dancing over his shoulders like those of the rest of the party larry however was not the first man who lost his head through the temptation of looking at the bottom of a brimming cup nothing more did he remember clearly for it seems body and head being parted is not very favorable to thought but a great hurry scurry with the noise of carriages and the cracking of whips when his senses returned his first act was to put up his hand to where his head formerly grew and to his great joy there he found it still okay he then shook it gently but his head remained

firm enough and somewhat assured at this he proceeded to open his eyes and look around him. It was broad daylight, and in the old church of Kilnus Slattery, he found himself lying with that head, the loss of which he had anticipated, quietly resting, poor youth, upon the lap of the earth. Could it have been an ugly dream? Oh no, said Larry, a dream could never have brought me here, stretched on the flat of my back, with that death's head and cross-marrow bones fomenting me on my fine old tombstone that there was faced by pat kearney of kilkeria but where is the horse I went to the pool of water, but no horse was there. Tis home I must go, said Larry with a rueful countenance. But how will I face Nancy? What will I tell her about the horse and the seven IOUs he cost me? Tis them doulahans have made their own of him from me, the horse-stealing robbers of the world,

that have no fear of the gallows. But what's gone is gone, that's a clear case. So saying, he turned his step homewards and arrived at his cabin about noon without encountering any further adventures there he found nancy who as he expected looked as black as the thundercloud for him for being out all night she listened to the marvelous relation which he gave with exclamations of astonishment and when he had concluded of grief at the loss of the horse that he had paid for like an honest man and IOUs

three of which she knew to be good as gold so she's like she knew three of his IOUs yeah but what took you up to the old church at all out of the road and at that time of night Larry inquired his wife uh-huh

fair question larry looked like a criminal for whom there was no reprieve he scratched his head for an excuse but none could he muster up so he knew not what to say oh larry larry muttered nancy after waiting some time for his answer her jealous fears during the pause rising with a barb she's the very same way with you as with any other man you're all alike for that matter i have no pity for you but confess the truth larry shuddered at the tempest which she perceived was about to break upon his devoted head nancy said he i do confess it was a young woman without any head that his wife heard no more. A woman I knew it was, cried she, but a woman without a head. Larry, it is long before Nancy Gallagher ever thought she would come to that with her, that she would be left dissolute and alone here with her baste of a husband for a woman without a head.

Oh, father, father, and oh, husband, for a woman without a head. Oh, father, father, and oh, mother, mother, it is well you are low today, that you don't see this affliction and the disgrace to your daughter that you rear decent and tender. Oh, Larry. Oh, no. Oh, Larry, you villain, you'll be the death of your lawful wife after growing such. Oh, oh, oh. Well, says Larry, putting his hands in his coat pockets least said is soonest mended of the young woman i know no more than i do of mall flanders but this i know

that a woman without a head may well be called a good woman for she has no tongue wow how this Wow, Larry. Wow, Larry. But they love each other in a marriageable sort of way. In a marriageable sort of way. Now, speaking of butt lines, though, how this remark operated on the matrimonial dispute, history does not inform us. It is, however, reported

that the lady had the last word. Yes, she did. Is that the end? That is the end the end god damn it that was so good that was incredible that was so good you're right it is a lot like the haunted mansion i never had yeah it's but i just love it's like here's this goofy ass drunk guy and he's tries to be nice but he's really a creep and then the she knows that the ghosts rip him a new one he freak him out he comes home tries to be always mean his wife is like you fucking idiot yeah and he tries to be like ahead are you kidding me i don so. For good thing my parents are dead

so they can't see this. And him saying, oh, well, she doesn't have a tongue. He gets on his podcast for a moment. It informed us that that did not go well for him. Yeah. Which, all to the good.

Oh my god, I wonder what she did to him. Maybe that's the fix for the story yeah oh yeah he still lost his head and everyone's like we get it he was being weird he was such a creep shame about that ass though yeah and those leather pants that go in those leather pants what a great detail though such a great detail all the details in the story were top tier yeah absolutely and only the way that an irishman could tell i love what a full picture we got of the main character. Yeah.

It's just a fun time. And you read it so well. I feel like that's one of those stories that are hard to read because it has the dialect of the way that the person speaks and that you did such a great job with that. Yeah. I was nervous about that. So thank you. I tend to avoid the Teacraft and Croker stories in there

almost because I'm not feeling up to that today. Yeah. I tend to avoid the tea crafting croaker stories in there almost be like, because like, like I'm not feeling up to that today. Yeah. Like, like that guy capped has like such a voice and almost all of his stories are like that. I noticed lady wild,

I think is usually easier to easier to get through because it was told in a more like fairy tale style. But the, the tea crofter ones are always told from like a first person of some some old man got drunk in a tavern and is telling you this crazy story i have a question so does that mean kelsey do you get points for every single person who had a specific name no i just get the point i just get the one point for that there was a really specific name which okay i was gonna say there's like seven of them my goodness yeah that was a good prediction kelsey

abby i think abby got good woman is slaying for a magic using person so she i think she got that point yeah uh well she's a magic user for sure yeah the character the is a magic user that they're referring to but like i don't know if i get the point because like he used the it's called the good woman because of the joke at the end which is like um so it wasn't that he wasn't referring to her being a witch she was referring to her her being quiet. Yeah. But she was the good woman. That's true. She was a magic user. She was a magic user. That's true. I do get that point. And you get the drinking point. The fairy wine. And he drank the fairy wine.

Yeah. And we actually saw a fairy. I'm three for three. Yeah. I think you for three. Yep. I think you got all of those. I definitely, I said the good woman is not so good at all. That's, I would, I mean, depending on your definition of good, but she's an undead spirit. I give it to you, yeah.

The dual hand is not so good. No innocent children, but the really specific names. I got two points. Yes. Oh, man. We really scored on that one. I'm excited. Irish Fairy Tales are always so good.

They're always so, like, I don't know. There's just so many great tropes that transcend all of them. Yeah. Maybe it's the way they're recorded they just they don't seem very like oh we're in like a french salon telling this story it's like you know we're at a bar yeah talking talking shit about old larry dodd yeah well i mean i'm not but other other yeah i don't know how what nancy did but let's just say she had the last word she got the last word that's so amazing i love it so much

those are there any other fixes for it i have some perfect i mean i think it's hilarious. I mean, my fix is that, so I have a couple, like either one, like, so Larry does, has like harassed a few women on the road. And so his wife hears about it and she summons a fairy, essentially, like she calls the Dullahan to be like, get my no good husband. And then maybe her and the Dullahan lady are best friends, maybe eventually lovers. Oh. You know, like we kind of get an alliance between her and that.

Or like she, I think the other one was like that she like leaves him at the end. You know. Yeah. Because he's being a creep. He's being a creep. Yeah. Yeah. I love the, I like the first one a lot about them like being getting close and then uh-huh then she leaves nancy leaves him yeah regardless to be with the dual hand yeah i think the other one was just that he

dies he did that yeah that's that's my fix for it, honestly. It's like, yeah, fuck around and find out. Yeah, literally lose your head. Yep. Be a creep. Literally lose your head. He wasn't... I feel like... And he was doing so well at first. I was like, good. He's offering her a ride. He's being...

Yeah. I don't know. Prettiest. Literally stomping over skeleton bones to sexually assault her i know because i had i had like oh he's like a nice guy and then i was like oh he's he's that kind of nice guy he's a nice guy yeah i gave you a ride obviously i deserve something now like i put nice action in, sex out now. Where is that? Yeah, transaction.

This is a transaction. Yeah. Because he was like, where's my wages? Like, you are a machine. You are a machine. I put ride, get kiss. I haven't seen your kiss. You could literally be dying of leprosy right now.

I wouldn't know. It's so weird, too. He's just like, yep, get on my horse. And that he doesn't notice any of these little supernatural details at all. He's kind of got this coming to him.

Absolutely. He deserved to die die. He has no supernatural radar. If it's one of those stories that he tells because he was so drunk. Yeah. You know, fabricated all of it to kind of have like a, you know, big fish story. I don't know.

Yeah. Trying to explain to his wife how he lost. Yeah. A horse. How he lost a horse. And I was like, well, I only remember part of it. And it was following a woman following the woman i wonder what happened to all those uh ious

what was it the butter buyers butter buyers the other buyers coupons or something like that yeah yeah i owe you so he probably got someone came collecting poor too yeah probably maybe like she got the last word by i i think kelsey's right that she got the last word by leaving him she got some some money left over from her parents i hope so i think because irish culture you could leave money to your daughter i think so i think i think it's France where like, sorry, no. I think they found ways, but it was a little easier for women to have something. Like, yeah, your daughters could

directly inherit something from their parents. I think that was actually a major point of Oh, I started listening. This is totally a tangent, but I started listening to a podcast called Royal Blood. Oh, I love that podcast. The's so good yeah he produces it is that different from noble blood or noble blood thank you noble blood such a good show i love that he produces it the guy who does

the lore he produces it he produces it okay um because like it's definitely a different it's definitely like it's a woman who does the actual dish warts love danish warts yeah and i listened to her episode on like this irish pirate queen that was alive during queen elizabeth the first time um and i think that like she became queen because she actually she did inherit like she inherited her like family's land and property and or her husband's or something but inheritance rules are such that like yeah irish women could inherit things from their parents yeah it's i not to not get too detailed it's basically like in celtic and germanic cultures there is a concept of like women as just people so they could inherit things and the classical tradition the roman tradition

did not uh believe that so there was like a clash and you actually see it in like different structures in the church of these two concepts at odds and like it's a big thing in the middle ages and the renaissance of like these two cultures having different values when it came to that and like in the renaissance that latin culture becomes so dominant that that kind of overtakes yeah yep i have to listen to that episode i haven't heard that one yet oh i know i just saved that on my spotify i'm like oh i'm listening to that later yep it's so it's such a great podcast i really enjoy it speaking of excellent podcasts um colin and hannah thank you so much for coming on Fairytale Fix.

Remind everyone where they can find you at Not My Fantasy Podcast. Yeah, you can find us on Instagram and TikTok at Not My Fantasy Pod. And we are on all the platforms. So Not My Fantasy Podcast, you just give us a search. And then yeah, on YouTube,

you can see our wonderful faces every other week talking about fairy tale folklore mythology movies and the lore that inspired them awesome yay go check them out and we'll also post it like in our socials and stuff links to with all their stuff and uh with that that's going to do it for this episode. Thank you so much for listening to Fairytale Fix. If you enjoy the show, please subscribe and leave us a review on Apple or leave us five stars on Spotify or wherever else they'll let you do rating and reviews. If you want to support us in other ways, you can get extra episodes, merch, books, other bonus content at our Patreon by signing up at fairytalefix.cash and you can

also find us on twitter and instagram at fairytalefixpod we also uh will take your emails with joy about fairy tales folklore nursery rhymes anything you want to talk about um i've been getting fan fiction recommendations lately from someone uh it's fantastic and you can send all of those to info at fairytalefixpod.com hannah what's your fix so my fixes were that i wanted to make sure that this story punished the farmer even more i wanted to make sure that he got punished at every stage and i really kind of would have liked his son to die at his own hands instead of the fairy sneaking in there again. I think that would have been more fulfilling and more punishment.

So good. So good. Scathing. And I guess my fixes for both stories is just add a human fae romance. So the wrong family member, the wrong family member gets to one up their evil or shitty relative. Flawless. And they all lived happily ever after.

The end.