Fairy Tale Fix - 73: You In Danger, Girl ft. Chadwick Heiberg

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

Join us for a chilling episode as we're joined by visual storyteller and brilliant artist Chadwick Heiberg for spooky season! Chadwick unveils his original fairy tale, The Three Witches, following young sisters fleeing from their Salem home–a New England classic not for the faint-hearted. Kelsey shares two dark and twisted robber bridegroom tales; Greenbeard from Lithuania, and The Cannibal Innkeeper from Romania. Get ready ‘cause this one’s a doozy.

And I feel like she's always like, she can be scary and she can help you or she can hurt you, but she's always like a little whimsical. It's always a little, it has to be a little whimsical. Yeah, exactly. Love my chaotic neutrals. Yeah. She's like, whatever I'm feeling today, you know? Yeah. She's just in a silly, goofy mood. Hello, Fairytale Fix listeners.

Hello. Welcome to Fairytale Fix. I'm Abby. I'm Kelsey. Sorry, I wanted to throw you off. And you succeeded. You did a great job. And as I... Wow, I really am thrown off.

This is Fairy Tale Fix. It's a what-the-fuck fairy tale podcast. And today, it's not even just the two of us. We have a very special guest. Say hello. Hello. We have Chadwick is joining us. Chadwick is one of our very favorite fairytale artists,

photographers. He does a ton of amazing whimsical stuff that you should definitely check out. Chadwick, tell everybody what you do and where people can find you. Yes. So my name is Chadwick tree. Hi buddy.

I currently reside in California California but I'm from New England and I'll be moving back there shortly I am a photographer who works in um the dark arts and a lot of it's inspired by pagan folklore and I also am a tattooer at mossy fable on instagram and i create fairy tale tattoos and you might actually remember chadwick did a gorgeous piece of art for us when we did uh the story the old troll of big mountain um he had that amazing uh artwork illustration of ollie the little the little boy like after he threw the bread into the troll's mouth and just the bravest little boy the sweetest most delusional little kid yeah it was definitely so fun to work on that and then i love all the fairy tales you guys tell

it's so fun to hear things i would have never heard before and then also hear them from you yeah so definitely make sure to go to chadwick's um art uh instagram pages we'll post everything like on our social media and on our show notes but definitely check it out he's amazing all of it looks so incredible um like so like so whimsical but also like really really just like also dark and creepy and magical and i just i love i love your style thank you so much yeah i try to root all my illustrations in um in some sort of like cultural context as well so a lot of times i use um some of my background um i guess some slavic background and uh sometimes norwegian as i'm married to a norwegian so yeah yeah that

makes perfect like that actually really squares with why you were like so inspired to draw ollie because that's a norwegian a norwegian story yeah norwegian folktales are amazing you gotta love they are love the trolls we don't love how often Norwegians like to kill horses. Actually, could you ask your husband why his people hate horses so much? You know what I did? And he said, screw horses. Now we're getting into it. I know it is.

Oh, no. It's one of them. It wouldn't shock me at this point if that if that truly was the north standpoint on horses i know they just lose lose their heads constantly constantly you know it's funny i like i've seen many um you know uh images and videos of norway um all the time and i actually don't see many horses so I wonder if they all end in that way like a quick death Chadwick revealed to us earlier that

he was moving to Norway eventually so you'll have to get all the details ask every single person you meet you'll have to report back and I'm excited to hear tales that you maybe couldn't otherwise I'm definitely going to ask a bunch of older Norwegian people to tell me a story.

Absolutely. That's the dream. That's exactly what that's exactly what you should do. That's, you know, that should be we were talking about what you should occupy yourself when you move to Norway and it should be like uh you should be a traveling storyteller like we're folklorist and collect everybody's like amazing yeah yeah oh and then you can illustrate the books oh that'd be so cool yeah it's funny too because i'm gonna be so inspired by um by everything that goes on there yeah anyway so i'm really excited about learning all their stories and yeah i would love to draw for them I'm glad we can help you figure out what your career is going to be so quickly.

It's funny because my more recent tarot card reading was saying that someone was going to tell me exactly what I need to do next. And so I'm going to use that. Amazing. Well, that's what we do with this podcast. I feel like we've done good work. Well, I feel like we've done good work. This podcast is all about fixing things and giving our opinions, our very un-fellicited, unprofessional opinions.

You can let me know after I tell my tale. Oh, I'm so excited. But first, so it is spooky season. I think we both picked some spooky tales, right? Yeah. I actually wrote my tale. Oh, you did? Oh my gosh. You're telling us an original one?

Yes, I'm telling you an original tale today. Yes, that is so exciting. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's funny because I think you may know that with Mossy Fable, I was intending to write a fairy tale book. So I ended up starting to write, but it's really funny. Every single tale i

started writing i couldn't finish um so this today having this deadline really helped me actually just um finish a fairy tale so i'm really excited about it that is oh my god i'm so stoked are you gonna send us some illustrations to post along with it too. Yes, we can do that. Yes. Amazing. I literally cannot wait, but we do have to ask you just a couple of our stock questions first before we get into your story. Very important. I'm moving straight there because I want to hear your story very badly. So, you know, the questions we ask everybody who comes on our show is, what is your favorite childhood fairy tale or folktale, and how would you fix it? All right. I thought about it.

It was actually really confusing for me because there was a few that I really loved, and I didn't want to get into all of them and take up so much time. Also, I kept forgetting that it says childhood so anyway so um getting back to childhood fairy tales i think the one that i um that really stuck out the most was little red riding hood when i was a kid nice classic great choice yeah and amazing choice actually i think it was because it was it actually something that to this day i'll um i'll think of with my art i feel like my art um is very inspired by little red riding hood i think I love the color red in general, but I also love just the aesthetic of the dark forest and kind of like all the twists and turns that her,

her journey takes. And then just like how dark, like my grandma is my favorite person in the world. So that whole scenario with the grandma, I'm like, whoa, whoa. Do you have any fixes for that story?

Yeah. So the only fix that I had, and I think it's funny, I see this in myself a lot with a lot of different stories. And I don't know what this means about me psychologically, but I wanted Little Red to wanted um little red to end up being like the hero in the sense but also her being like some sort of um like demonic creature herself yes okay so you're pro werewolf red riding hood yeah that's what i'm hearing yes and that she like she could take care of the wolf herself you know like in a in a sense so yeah amazing hell yeah i mean that's a perfect fix yeah i do have we do have some uh fairy tale friends who we love dearly but they are

um anti-werewolf red riding hood people i love you uh cassie from the spindles slippers and spindles the key would be wrong gonna couldn't be revealed until the end you know it would have to it would have to be a real the truth the the key would be that it um couldn't be revealed till the end it would have to be a true twist i think yeah yeah absolutely as with all good horror movies yeah but the other one i was going to mention was um three little pigs oh you know nice yeah really yeah i thought that was just three little pigs um well i just i think that was the first time i ever heard like a true fairy tale structure in writing i guess oh okay yeah and um and it was something also um when i was uh, I was in a school play called BB Wolf, and I was the big bad wolf. Nice.

Amazing. And so it was just a lot of things from my childhood. But also, I just remember there was some sort of illustrated book that I had with the three little pigs growing up, and I also enjoyed the art a lot. It also gave me that forest, fairytale, fantasy art vibe. So it also gave me that like forest fairy tale fantasy art vibe so it's another thing that just inspired me so very cool have you ever read the stories yeah yeah have you ever read the um what is it three three little wolves and the big bad pig uh no actually haven't i had a book called that growing up and it was really funny. It's just like the opposite. I mean, it's the exact same story except like this big angry pig. Doing all the same stuff like blowing the houses down.

Yes, but he was blowing them down with like hair dryers and shit, I think. It was just – that's incredible. It was just like a silly twisted fairy tale kid's book and I was obsessed with it because I don't know. I loved the wolves. I thought they were so cute i love wolves too yeah that might be why i like the two stories with the wolves for sure i think people have actually said i'm very wolf like in some ways i can see it i mean you literally have a like forest behind you right now. Definitely give off wolf vibes. I have one more question

for you, which I just thought of it as you were answering your, like the standard questions, but you mentioned that like, you know,

you used the word childhood to kind of narrow down what story was your favorite when you were a kid. Were there any stories that have like become favorites of yours that after you became an adult that you have like a fix for yeah so actually it's really funny um as then i as i became an adult i think um there's so many things i love that i

thought were fairy tales and i had to google them to find out that they weren't fairy tales indeed but um as far as a fairy tale one of my favorite ones is um carrie stave girl i think it's called carrie stave girl it's another norwegian one yeah okay and um and actually it's funny before i met my husband i was obsessed with all everything nordic um not in the same not in the same way because i think like i didn't 100 have the coziness of it but i love like a lot of nordic musicians and um they always reminded me of like that kind of like steely ice and i don't know they just had like this very cool um vibe to it but um but my husband is very much like the cozy elf vibe like i was talking about um cute but uh carrie stave girl

is a mix of i i want to say that it's an original tale that actually inspired sleeping beauty i believe uh no i'm sorry i'm sorry i lied cinderella um the one with the the shoe right yeah cinderella yeah yeah um so it actually inspired cinderella um and it's actually a really beautiful tale like it's it follows some things that you've there's stories that i've heard you guys talk about where they go through a forest full of gold leaves and silver leaves and stuff. Do you remember that? Yeah. I think it was the Brazilian version of the 12 Dancing Princesses or something.

Yeah. And I think that this story, this Dave girl one, they have that same thing happen throughout. And she's riding an ox and the ox is like please don't touch any of the leaves because then i'll have to fight a troll and every single time she she pulls a leaf off and i'm like what are you doing but it's the funniest thing in the world to me because i'm like this it's like they describe a gorgeous scene like this like the dreams are made out of and then she just pulls a leaf and makes it bite a troll like numerous times i think it's so funny is this like a little girl or like like a like a teenager yeah yeah she's probably a very young teenager or something to that effect okay i'm like

come on just be cool she definitely knows better and the ox is definitely like saving her life and doing her a solid and she's still like yeah i want to see you fight a troll oh my god actually i get that i want to see that the troll becomes uh more progressively like it has like 20 heads or something like every time it's like it's more like of a boss to be it's so funny very cool oh hilarious yeah that sounds amazing i'm gonna look at that one it's definitely um that famous duo uh what's their name that makes fairy tales um oh abby and moe yeah yeah did i say abby anson as beyonce i don't remember it's actually been a long time since we've done one out of out of that book you know that's true we've got it we should do we should do another one soon maybe maybe in november we'll try to find something something i think you're right i think it's asbjonson

asbjonson oh my gosh i am very jealous you're eventually moving to norway that sounds amazing maybe i'll have to come visit you do it yeah actually um you know we it's funny because um norway presents a few problems uh i actually like don't drive and um it also is so mountainous and i i love to get on top of the mountains but getting on the top of the mountain is like death for me for some reason like i love to hike but i can't go that high i have like you know i don't know what it is um so like the air pressure. Yeah. So we've considered Denmark too.

So who knows? Maybe you'll see a stable, but we'll see. Cause you're like a, like nice and flat and stuff. So I'll come visit you in the summer when it's not snowing and dark and cold. Yeah. Either way.

Yeah, please do. All right. Well, should we get into it i am so excited to hear your story i must hear it i want to know okay like remember i love original stories um tell us the title and then we'll make predictions okay so the title of my story is three little witches amazing do you want to go first kelsey no but you go first So the title of my story is Three Little Witches. Amazing. Do you want to go first, Kelsey?

No, Abby, you go first. Okay. Prediction number one, I think the little witches are little in the sense that they are children. Little children witches. That's so cute. My second prediction is that despite the fact that they are kids the story is not cute something uh something dark it's going to be dark that's my second prediction um and the my third prediction uh there's a talking animal okay i love a talking animal and i just want them all the time i mean i love i love all three of those i think those are good

oh okay my first prediction is i'm gonna i'm gonna base some of my predictions on the artwork i've seen from you so i'm going to predict that there is a troll or gnome in the story. Nice. I am also, I kind of wanted to do talking animal, but I'm going to be more specific. I want to predict fairy tale mice. Fairy tale mice. Also, because that's just what I want. I feel like that's too many things, maybe witches and gnomes and mice.

But you know what? They don't all have to be true. Yeah. More too many things, maybe. Witches and gnomes and mice. But you know what? They don't all have to be true. Yeah. More the merrier, though. That's true. And my third prediction is that the little witches are sisters. Cute.

Yeah. Very good. Okay. All right. Yay, I'm so excited. Very good. Okay. All right. Yay. Lay it on us. All right. So three little witches.

Once upon a foggy autumn day before the last leaf had fallen, ravens were croaking loudly upon a house on a hill. The children of the medium family had awoken to another morning of chores, but that was not as much of a piece as a piece of bread to look forward to. Mary the oldest, the twins Alice and Martha, and the youngest little Sarah Meacham. It had been a very difficult time as of late, and early frost had laid the town's own once fertile land bare. Creeping over crops like a ghostly apparition in the night,

it left nothing but skeletons in its wake. A blanket of melancholy now envelops the town. The children walk with less purpose these days. Moving to the new world once held such promise, but alas, now the sun hardly shone on gloomy Salem.

Ooh, so spooky. Oh, yeah, set in Salem. I love it. And so October, I love. Yeah, so good. Flawless October vibes. The Meacham family had become a coven of women, for their father had died of smallpox while away on work some ten months ago.

Their stepmother was caring and doting, not at all like the evil stepmothers the girls would read about in their books. Yeah. However, she had run out of ways to keep them fed and well-clothed. The family had even began skipping church because of their dreadful appearance.

Their mother had begun to look like she was withering away in her rags. The children had all lost their rosy complexions, just ghosts of who they once were. So yeah, very dark. Yeah. Oh man, this is so sad so far. Yeah.

I never said I was going to make you happier, Kelsey. Sorry. That's okay. It's spooky season. I, yeah. Yeah. You're good. It totally works that it's a sadder story.

Yeah. I think I realized as I was writing this, I'm like, you know, I'm pretty messed up, but it's okay. You know what? I depressed? This is like my base level though, because I was feeling happiness throughout uh-huh no it's so it's definitely giving like wintry autumn spooky vibes i i think it's beautiful like gorgeous imagery love it love it i also want you both to know that it has started thunderstorming outside of my house which you know the my reason for telling you is twofold i'm really enjoying the ambience that's number that's number one while thunder's rolling around

and number two if i oh that's why i also mentioned it my internet may cut in and out but yeah you are lucky i miss thunderstorms so much. Oh, they're so great. The eldest daughter, Mary, had come of working age and decided to venture into the village in hopes of finding some work. But the condition of the settlement had become so poor that the only offer she received were for her flesh. Most of the villagers she met seemed like shadows of themselves with claws for hands, fangs for teeth, and hungry eyes ready to pull her into their homes and devour her whole. As Mary was leaving town center, she noticed many people staring blankly from their windows. Soulless and damning, she hurried back home with a feeling in her bones that something was not right. As she approached her home, she noticed a mob around the

entryway. They held weapons and crosses and flame screaming for her mother to come to the door mary pushed through the crowd quickly and made it through a window there sat her three little sisters huddled together screaming and crying their mother had just then opened the door confronting the villagers outside she would be condemned on making a deal with the devil to rid the family of their father and on planning to slowly kill the children. Ah! Scandal! The villagers

claimed there was evidence in the fact that she had stopped going to church. They all gasped upon looking at her and saying she was transforming into Satan's minion with a hollowed face and pointy fingers. Mother screamed for us to run. Assiluated hands and flames reached to the doorway and pulled their mother out of the house.

They ran through the back window into the nearby wood and never looked back. Oh, my God. That's. Oh, no, I'm wishing I predicted revenge. Yeah. Revenge. Revenge is good. This is also reminding me of the beginning of hocus pocus too all the three sisters except that was that was actually you know goofy and funny yeah

yeah yeah i promise there'll be like a moment or two of goofy and funny levity this is this yeah oh no this is it's october when this comes out anyways it's spooky season yes they ran all night without stopping and fear the town's people would be searching for them at times they thought they could see glowing eyes stalking them through the leaves and shadowy figures behind the trees. They walked hand in hand, further and further, until they had lost all sense of direction. After some time, the youngest Sarah was sobbing and spoke of seeing a tunnel of light surrounded by darkness and of feeling dizzy. They hadn't eaten for days, and they were exhausted beyond measure.

In the distance, the girl saw a large house and began to walk toward it. It was large and unlike any in their village. Extremely big with a thatched roof, it seemed to have an emerald glow coming from it. Maybe you'll know who we're talking about here. There had been a talk of a foreigner that traveled to the New World with the Puritans who lived in these woods. An elder woman who, when they arrived, chose to build her hut so far away that she no longer would be part of the village itself.

She was said to have had to be a powerful witch, but the townspeople were too scared to condemn her. The few who have tried to bring her a summons were never seen again, often thought to have been eaten by wolves or lost. Abby and I are grinning like idiots over here. Oh my god, I can't believe I didn't predict Baba.

I feel so dumb. I'm so dumb. I'm so excited. As the girls walked towards the house, they wondered if it would be safe, but didn't feel like they had a choice. Surely the townspeople were wrongfully accusing the foreign woman of being wicked, just like their mother. As they walked closer, Mary placed her hand on the fence surrounding the house. It was dark. There was a cloud that was like a black ink in the air surrounding them. A green light from the house illuminated the fence. Mary gasped, realizing she was holding onto a skull that was still sticky with flesh.

The home was surrounded by decaying skulls and bones. Her first instinct was to grab the sisters and run, but young Sarah had passed out behind her. Mary dropped to the ground and gathered her in her arms as the front door to the house slammed open. Standing there amongst an eerie green light and smoke was the tenant of this house of horrors, a wrinkled woman with a large nose and teeth poking out from her mouth, which could be seen clearly even from the distance.

How now? Do come in. The figure's head spun around and her legs and arms seemed to break and she steadily crawled towards them. Oh, that's so good. Oh my god. That is some primo horror movie shit. Uh-huh. That's terrible. Also, I love that you incorporated Bobby O's big ass teeth. I kind of forgot about that part.

Everything went black as Mary fell to the ground and saw her siblings doing the same as her eyes shut. The Meacham girls awoke covered in woolen blankets next to a fire, each one with a different color and ornate pattern to them. Mary had seen these patterns before once, when a Polish family came to live in a town back in England. They all were drinking some sort of mulled wine, as if they had come to between sips. They marveled at many carved symbols into the wooden mantle, and now there was a red glow coming off the hearth instead of green it seemed it smelled of rosemary and thyme the girls couldn't make sense of any of it as their eyes focused better they realized there was a messy haired woman dressed in ornate finery sitting amongst them just in front of the hearth who are you where's the beast where are we mary said the mysterious woman at first just sat still for what seemed like hours, and then spoke quiet and assured.

You're in my home, of course. What beast do you speak of? The woman stood up. She was so tall that she almost touched the ceiling. As she hit her head on a beam, she began to shrink down to a normal state. The girls sat lips pressed in fear they obviously had found themselves in the home of a witch. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Sure did, Gens.

It seems you are running from a beast, not towards one. I found you little creatures lying right beyond my fence, seeming you had fainted and were in need of some help. You're lucky a wolf didn't come and pick you up. My name is Baba Yaga. I

will not harm you. Pray tell me, what are you doing in these woods? One of the middle sisters spoke up, feeling more comfortable. We are running from the village. The townspeople took our mother. Mary said, cutting her off. These are my sisters. Our mother was taken, accused of consorting from the village. The townspeople took our mother. Mary said, cutting her off.

These are my sisters. Our mother was taken accused of consorting with the devil. We have been running all night. Hmm. Does she Baba Yaga asked, does she want consort with the devil? He and I have an interesting past. That's all.

Wouldn't want to interfere with whatever they have going on god damn it i love that pray pardon of course not she's just starving people in town are dying or getting desperate pain and death is all they can see sariel we would do anything to get back home and see that our mother finds no harm oh shame shame shame baba yaga walks towards her hearth to retrieve stew from a bubbling cauldron and passes it to the girls hard times bring our demons to the surface and if you aren't careful are your demons become you seems the village is plagued with them she sits down next to the younger sarah i i could, but I would need something in turn, little ones. Mm-hmm.

What could we possibly offer you, Sarah asked. One of you will stay here with me as my maid. Be work to the bone, of course. Standard lifetime agreement. I grow lonely in this new world. See, I actually like the Indians of the forest here, but they keep

their distance, so I don't get many visitors. In exchange, I will give each of the remaining girls a magical gift, and I will return you to the moment the townspeople came to your house. You can use those gifts to save your mother. However, you must hide your gifts from everyone

if even one person catches on well there's no telling what would happen really magic is a bit unreliable in the new world baba yaga nervously laughs i will stay and be your maid mary stood in conviction i would cut off my own arm to save my mother and my family and i was looking for work anyway i will not give my family to this dread ah very well so it shall be i suppose i'll take your arm as well wait what mary said so it shall be huzzah baba yaga rose and whistled so loud baba yaga rose and whistled so loud that it put the youngest Meacham girls in a state.

Their eyes rolled back in their heads and out of the cauldron came hundreds of black spiders. They crawled toward the girls and filled their mouths and scurried back out of their eyes and into their ears again. Everything went...

Everything! Everything! Did you have to put into the ears again? They're very thorough spiders. Right. Everything went white,

and a sharp ringing could be heard as the three youngest Meacham girls awoke back in their home. Sitting in a circle, eyes still white, staring at the ceiling. The now three Meacham girls, Alice, Martha, and Sarah, sat in their room staring at one another with completely blank expressions. They began to regain feeling, and their senses as footsteps of the villagers were heard approaching.

They all stood up and walked towards the door in unison, as compelled by magic. Their mother was still sitting near the hearth, trying to keep warm. The villagers were all wailing about as the children approached them. Alice whispered to them, We the three ask you to leave. Don't come bothering our family bereaved. Immediately the villagers rushed off and were confused as to why they even were there. Immediately, the villagers rushed off and were confused as to why they even were there.

Alice was given the gift of gab, the ability to talk to anyone into anything with just a whisper. The gift of gab. Perfect. Brilliant. Good for her. The following day, the Meacham girls were compelled to go to the nearby farmlands that had sat there in decay, abandoned by the farmers. Martha touched the ground with her thumb and said, We, we the three ask you to grow. Let this pasture overflow. And pumpkins and gourds and other vegetables sprung from the ground. The village would no longer perish. Blessed with a never-ending bounty, Martha was given the gift of a green thumb, the ability to grow whatever

plant she wanted in a blink of an eye. Later that day, the Meacham girls went into town center. There had always been a festival on this hollow's eve day, but the condition of the village had people shut in and not in a celebrating mood. Sarah, the youngest Meacham, began hugging everyone she met, and a joy like no other spread through the town. The sun began to shine and the villagers began to dance in the streets and set up for festivities. Sarah was given the gift of eternal sunshine, the ability to warm the coldest of souls.

Aww, that's so cute. I love that. Those are all great powers. Come evening time, they arrived to their homes to prepare for the Samhain night festivities. Their mother had been home baking soul cakes, delighted saying that their grain had miraculously sprung back. The girls had carved jack-o'-lanterns and made masks to hide their faces from spirits that may have been out in the

shadows that night. As the girls skipped back into town, feeling a bliss that had been hiding from them for all these months, Martha noticed a patch of dead flowers in front of a nearby cottage. Without thinking, Martha sticks her thumb in the ground and the flowers grow to their fullest beauty. At the same time, the family residing in that home had been coming out.

They screamed witch and pointed at the girls after observing her magic deed. Many villagers... Even if it's nice, people hate it. Yeah. Many villagers that were passing by stopped and stared. The girls didn't know what to do.

So Alice walked over to the family and whispered, We the three ask you to see that your mother is the witch. It is not thee. The son of the home screamed, I've seen my mother dance with the devil. The villagers all begin to turn on the mother of the home and carry her down to the town in ropes are you writing like is this like an alternate history of like how the witch trials

got started oh yes i'm digging it this is good you've done this before. The town folk began to become ravenous. The demons inside of them had taken over once again as quickly as they had left. Little Sarah hugged person after person with no effect. There began a large fire in the middle of town and had planned to make quick work of burning the witch. The villagers all circled around the mother as she pleaded for her life. She was tied to the stake. It was as if town center had become hell itself with villagers in masks and shadows and flames and a dark energy that was overflowing,

almost suffocating the girls. The three little witches stood there in the same hollowed state as they arrived back home and said in unison, We the three were mistaken. One life spared, but another is taken. As they watched the flames consume the poor mother and the villagers all howled and screamed in ecstasy. Oh, damn. Damn.

That's dark. That's dark as fuck. What the fuck? I love it. That autumn in Salem, in 1691, the Meacham witches started a curse that resulted in 200 more towns people being accused and 19 being killed as witches. In the end end it seemed that the demons that had risen were there to stay the three little witches lived wickedly ever after the end wickedly i love it that was so good

oh my gosh also a no a plus baba yaga like personality in general i love how you wrote her just like like that was very grandmother baba yaga yeah but like a little wry and also like still kind of mean but like playful it's so good i love that yeah i always think of her as pretty quirky yeah 100 and i like i think i think my%. I think my favorite line in the entire thing was like, you know, they think our mother's been sorting with the devil. Is she? Cool. Tell them I said hi. I don't want to get in between.

Oh, yeah, I know him. So funny. Oh, Chadwick, I thought that was getting cute there for a second i was like oh this is nice the salem witch trials were averted no it's funny um i you know um i think there's a movie called life is beautiful uh have you heard of it i think it's called our life is beautiful it's like uh i think it's uh not to get even darker a holocaust story but basically the beginning starts really sweet and then it's like a dreadful movie towards the end i think that's what it's called life is

beautiful either way i mean if it's covering the holocaust like that exactly but it's but it's like so smart in the way that it's like half the movie is so joyful it's unbelievably joyful so sweet so adorable and then it's like the darkest thing you can imagine the last half. And I thought about that when writing this. I was like, I really want to have it be like, oh, is this going to be sweet? And then it's like, go straight down to hell again. You nailed it. Well done.

You told like, I was like, oh, this is so nice. And then, damn. The best kind of twist yeah that was really good thank you so it's my first completed fairy tale for you guys thank you for listening amazing job uh beautiful i love the way you read it it was very beautiful thank you yeah good reading voice like like i thought you used like i think like your imagery was really beautiful like you i but you also had like a really good sense of humor i just great story that was amazing if you want to write that book and illustrate it we definitely buy that book in that book i need a sequel um or like a companion story where we find

out how the eldest sister does is baba yaga yes yes yeah i mean i found it also interesting when i was um because originally i believe i was trying to write or find a baba yaga story for today and um when she's mentioned she's mentioned pretty like quickly as well which is like i try to do that in my story as well just to keep it similar where it was like um she's a tool you know in these stories of other people a lot of times um yeah yeah and also so i find that very interesting so i try to play that into it as well yeah but anyway i had like a lot of fun writing it amazing um i would say abby got two points yes two points for me which is where children and the story was not cute it was not cute i mean it had cute parts but overall it's pretty dark yeah that was fucked and i got the one. Sisters. Bam.

That was awesome. I loved it though. Well done. Halloween is for fucked up fairy tales. You know? Absolutely. But I do think it like really, you know, it's for me too. I think like the darkness is pretty comforting.

So I feel like it still gave me for me when as i wrote it like the comforting fairy tale vibes i feel like fairy tales usually make me feel regardless of how fucked up they are that they feel like they're a little bit of a blanket you know it just feels like cute and i'm like i'm really like into dark and cozy like we were talking about i'm just like really into being comfy and feeling good and all that warm and toasty but also like you know bones being all around me and such so yeah i think that um uh yeah as someone who watches horror movies is like a comfort thing same i totally get it yeah actually i usually have nightmares if i don't watch a horror movie uh during the day't i don't personally get that because i guess but uh but i i feel i feel like i do know so like there are just so many people in my life who like

that is exactly what like it's like no no i need to get the scary thoughts on the outside of me like they're externally playing out over here and that means they don't have to be in my brain yeah you know even like um preparing for this i had last night i took this mic out and i woke up this morning i looked at the mic and i was like imagine if while i was sleeping i like opened the laptop and there was a recording of people talking while i was asleep in the other room like just strangers in the house or something and i was like oh i'm so weird why do i always think of the creepiest things honestly horrifying isn't there isn't there like some woman that was sleeping and she woke up and found a video of herself like on her cell phone like someone grabbed her phone video of her while she was sleeping and then put her

phone back yeah that's actually the scariest stuff when it's just like someone's in your house watching you sleep or something yeah creepy pasta yeah home and home invasion is the is the worst yeah the worst scary thing like but but i but i really love i loved like the entire like aesthetic of your story and i also really love like um because i really enjoy stories like that that sort of like subvert what you thought happened if it's sort of a well-known like a well-known historical yeah story and but also i love the idea that it's like it's just these three it's these three creepy evil little girls like

yeah i know something like in our world too so it's a perfect folk tale yeah yeah and i'm really uh and i've definitely obviously was very inspired by um my new england background so i feel like it was very like a new england tale in a sense very new england yeah when i went uh i did i did like i went to salem last fall and did uh like did like a like a midnight ghost tour and the the tour guide took us around to sort of all of the sort of like to like they're like they're like there's like a prison that's been converted into an apartment building in salem where like really nasty shit happened and then like you know and then like the like the the the salem witch trials memorial and he told and then like you know and then like the like the the

the salem witch trials memorial and he told us was like some of the stories about like how fucked up that was um what so just really added just sort of like layers to like it just yeah you told a very new england a very new england story. I really enjoyed that. I can't imagine living in an old prison. Interesting. Yeah, I know. They're like, oh, this is an apartment building now. I'm like, I wouldn't live there.

Yeah, that's cursed. That place is cursed. Whether you believe in ghosts or not, that's haunted. I mean, I guess depending like rent and how cute it was yeah you guys should be like yeah it was it was cute on the outside like they they completely redone the facade like big windows it looks it it looks nice it's just cursed is all like that's the problem like our tour guide even told us like like oh we've actually had some recent sightings there's definitely a lot of people out there that would pay big money to live in a haunted

apartment you know a haunted apartment is one thing but like but like you know if it's like oh a rich widow like you know poisoned herself in here for love or whatever it's it's different if it's like this used to be a prison like exactly yeah there's just a lot of like dark energy within a prison different types yeah yeah so dark yeah i would draw the line there that's not that's not fun and mysterious that's just awful yeah that's super dreadful for sure yeah yeah yeah a perfect story no fixes for me anyway oh no much fun i especially loved baba yaga's like bones breaking and she's like walking toward them like that's just so and her hitting her head like on the roof

shrinking down a normal size like just kind of wishy shit is that's so cool yeah i love that yeah it's really i could actually see that when i wrote that i could really see the scene of her like how she like her bones break and she becomes like this upside down insect kind of vibe running to them and they all faint in fear i love them 10 out of 10 would watch my movie all right are you ready to get back into it yeah let's do it i'm i'm i'm primed i'm ready to go i want to know because you said that you found you found a couple of like yeah i have two short things spooky season tales that i'm gonna tell you um both of them i found in the robber bridegroom section of um the pittsburgh

oh what is it called hold on it doesn't say the sites.pit.edu the uh big collection of folk and fairy tales for free online i will thank you pit yeah yeah exactly i will post the link in the show notes um i am really excited to tell you a couple of stories so they are very short uh The first one is called Green Beard. How many predictions do we get? For this one, I'm going to give you two. Alright, Chadwick, you are our guest. Would you like to go first with your predictions?

Yes. That's fine. Thank you. I would say that someone has a green beard. Um, I would say that, uh, someone has a green beard. No, I'm not going to give you that. I know you're a guest,

but come on. I went too far. I went too far. Um, uh, like, uh, the main character is a pirate. Okay.

Okay. That's what reminds me of Greenbeard. And that there's a ghost involved. Ghost involved. Yeah, ghost is there too. Ghost and pirate. Okay. What about you?

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. It's from Lithuania. I don't know if that changes any predictions or not and lithuania is um yes please geography corner me because i have no idea where that is geography corner so lithuania is nestled in between poland and latvia and russia and belarus cool all right so it's probably belarus is it yeah yeah belarus thank you belarus sounds cool though yeah i like i like i think belarus sounds like a really cool country that sounds magical yeah i mean also geography is also not my strong suit so uh i will keep um

i will keep them, but I'm less enthused about there being a pirate. That's fine. Okay. Up there by Poland does make it sound a little less pirate-y. There is a coast.

It does have a coastline. Okay. Okay. There's still hope for pirates i will say that uh predicting pirates has not really worked out for most of us but it's too late to change it's my turn um i uh think the devil is in it okay the devil is in it okay the devil is in it what's your second prediction that the green beard isn't

hair green beard isn't hair okay that's a good one like that's a spicy take thank you I made myself giggle without further ado green beard Like, that's a spicy take. Thank you. I made myself giggle. Without further ado, green beard. In a city, there lived a very wealthy merchant who had a very beautiful daughter.

And she said that she would marry only a man who had a green beard. Wow. Like her style. Kinky. She has a very specific fetish. Yeah, definitely. Great forests surrounded the city and 24 robbers lived together in these woods.

The captain of these robbers had heard about the girl who would marry only a man with a green beard. So he asked his people if they did not know of a substance that would color a beard green and they immediately procured such a substance that would color a beard green and they immediately procured such a dye for him he's making it happen he dyed his beard green otherwise he was a handsome man which i think is a rude note yeah um green beards are very fashionable come on i bet he

looked great with a green beard i bet he did And rode into the city to the merchant to court his daughter. The girl liked him, so he spent the night there. The next day, they made arrangements for the girl to pay him a visit. He said that he possessed a large mansion in the woods, and he told the girl to ride along the main road until she came to a bridge. The other side of the bridge, she should turn left onto a path, then continue riding until she came to his mansion. Then Greenbeard departed. The merchant's daughter now made preparations for

the journey. She had a good cake baked for her bridegroom, then mounted her horse and rode on her way. Arriving at the bridge, she found the side of the path that Greenbeard had told her about. She rode along this path into the woods. The deeper she went into the woods, the narrower the path became until it was only a narrow footpath. What should she do now? She could not ride any further, so she

dismounted, tied up her horse, and continued on foot. Duh! Okay. Why is this giving me the cabin vibes from you is a little you and danger where's buppy when you need her at the end of the pathway she saw a small house with two lions chained near the door approaching them she thought should I go any

further or not? No, you should not. Two lions outside a door. That's pretty cool. Yes, cool. I don't want any guests ever. The lions did nothing, so she went inside. In the first

room, there were beds and a number of flintlocks hanging on the wall. She went into another room where there was a table, a bird's cage with a little bird hung from a rafter. The bird said to her, how did you get here? This is a robber's house. You cannot get away right now, for if you go outside, the lions will rip you apart. I will tell you what to do. Lie down under the bed. When the robbers come home, they will get drunk

and fall asleep. Then you can escape. When you go outside, throw a piece of cake to each of the lions. Then you can run away. She did just that and crawled under the bed. I really wish that I predicted that this is a don't ask questions and do what the bird says story.

Every time. Just do what the bird says questions and do what the bird says story. Every time. Just do what the bird says. Just do what the bird says. One after the other, the robbers came home saying, it smells here like human flesh. Just a super weird thing to say. Are these normal human robbers?

Right? The bird made excuses as best it could, and they stopped asking questions. Nobody asks birds questions. Even when they should. Don't do it. The robbers had brought a girl with them. After eating their supper, they chopped her into pieces, beginning with her little fingers. Oh, come on.

She had a ring on one of her fingers and the finger with the ring rolled under the bed where the merchant's daughter was hiding. So these are cannibal robbers. She picked up the finger and put it into her pocket. Smart.

But also a little creepy. When the robbers had finished their work they began to drink again drinking so much that they knew nothing more of their sins and they fell asleep. When the girl thought that they were all fast asleep she got up gave the little bird a bit of sugar

then took a piece of cake in each hand she threw the cake to the lions as she walked out while they were devouring the cake she made her escape. However they scarcely had threw the cake to the lions as she walked out. While they were devouring the cake, she made her escape. However, they scarcely had finished the cake when they began to roar, bellowing so loudly that the forest shook. The robbers jumped up and they immediately surmised that the girl had been here. They took after her, but she safely reached her house. She rode home as fast as she could, arriving there white as a corpse with fear.

She was so sick she had to lie down immediately. Mm. Mm-hmm. Which is fair. Same. Green Beard cut off his beard, then made plans to capture the girl. He ordered large wagons loaded with large barrels

in which the robbers would hide. So outfitted, he rode to the girl. He ordered large wagons loaded with large barrels in which the robbers would hide. So outfitted, he rode to the merchant. He offered him these wares, claiming to be a wholesale merchant from such and such a city. He's Clark Kenting? Like, if he shaved the beard off, you can't

tell it's the same guy. The only thing anybody saw was his green beard, I guess. Well, you know. So maybe if you're going to do a crime, do something like wild like that. And then if you remove it, no one will know because that's the only thing they were looking for. Yeah. Also, people do really look completely different when they shaved their beard. So that's fair.

That's true. It's not just the color. It's just the beard entirely. He had told his people that he would gain entrance into the merchant's house and then he would give them a sign when they should break their way

out of the barrels, steal everything the merchant had and then take away the girl as well. However, one of the merchant's servants was walking out in the courtyard when he heard a voice from one of the barrels. What is happening out in the courtyard when he heard a voice from one

of the barrels. What is happening? It's taking a long time. He went inside and reported to his master. Sir, what's happening? There are people inside the barrels. Then the merchant called up a number of strong men to capture the robbers. He forced the robber captain to stay seated inside with two strong men beside him. Then the girl came in and showed him the chopped off finger with the ring and asked him if he remembered it. Now he knew that he had been exposed and he looked around for an escape route, but the merchant gave the man a sign and they held him fast and bound him hand and foot in one of his boots.

He had hidden a long knife. Oh, after tying him securely, they went into the courtyard and captured the rest of them one after the other. Oh. They burned the house down and the merchant kept the lions. The robbers all died in prison. Thus, everything was finished. And the girl no longer showed any desire for green beards. The end. Whoa.

Okay. I thought it was very spooky. I love the idea that there's a green beard. That it very much mirrors blue beard like the idea that he's like kind of capturing this girl and then people are getting killed and she freaks out yeah yeah absolutely like definitely from the dismemberment angle i already know what my fix is for that yeah yeah it was definitely one of those stories that's quick and dirty uh but i thought it was very cute i love fairy tale birds

yeah i do love fairy tale birds i also i like hearing stories in like this particular i i like i like bluebeard style stories i don't know like i i thought that i thought that was fun i think i think my fix is what it all almost always is which is like what more detail please like yep yeah definitely more detail i want to know more about the girl who lost her fingers yeah yeah i want to know more about her i want to know like i want you to build the mythology of these robbers a little bit more for me like what are they doing out here and why are they murdering girls like just for fun i guess they can yeah because they can and it's funny i guess but like spooky yeah my fix um would be that she still loves a green beard

she finds another man with a green beard yeah it's like well that wasn't the problem or she doesn't oh they don't destroy the mansion i mean what the mansion do to anyone? They're just getting rid of all of it. It's cursed now. It's all haunted and stuff. I love that she keeps the bird for herself. I thought that was really cute. And the merchant kept the lions. I thought that was a very fun tidbit.

Everybody got a pet at the end of the story. That is always a good thing. Neither have you got any points sorry no no um and get ready to completely forget about this story because this one's my favorite okay and this one's called the cannibal innkeeper it is from romania i don't know so much happens in it it's very's very short, but a lot happens. So I'm going to give you two predictions just for fun. So give me two predictions for the cannibal innkeeper. I would say that the guests

disappear. Is that okay? Yeah. All right. And the meat in question is fed to the guests. Is fed to the guests. Okay.

Okay. My prediction for the cannibal innkeeper. I'm going to flip Chadwick's prediction and say the innkeeper keeps all of the meat to himself. Okay. Or themself. Because I'm... Could be a non-man. That's just the innkeeper.

Mm-hmm. And the second prediction is he is specifically making sausages. Ooh. Sausages in fairy tales is never good. Okay. No. It's always bad.

Okay. This is the cannibal innkeeper. It's always bad. Okay. This is the cannibal innkeeper. It's horrible. Trigger warning for animal violence. Without further ado, this is the animal innkeeper. Wait, the animal innkeeper or the cannibal? I'm just thinking about animals. Because I was like, my predictions would have been very different.

I'm still, now I'm just thinking about animals. Because I was like, my predictions would have been very different. Yeah, totally. Now I'm all nervous they ruined it. Okay. The Cannibal Innkeeper. Once there was a poor orphan girl who worked as a servant at the house of a rich man. Her dearest companion was a little dog that her parents had given her before they died. One day, the chieftain of a robber band, disguised as an ordinary servant, came to the rich man's

house and asked the girl to marry him. Sensing something sinister about him, the girl rejected the suitor's advances. So, with assistance from his fellow robbers, he carried her away by force. Rude. Now, a prisoner in the robber's house, the girl still refused to marry him in spite of his friendly words, his threats, and his abuse. Finally, he gave up his attempts to win her love and sold her to a wild and cruel innkeeper. So much is happening in this story. Like, that is so much plot.

Oh, just wait. Now, this innkeeper would rob travelers, kill them, cut them into pieces, and serve their cook flesh to his other guests. Points for Chadwick. He terrorized the poor girl by showing her the valuables he had stolen from his victims, the room where he had murdered them, and the weapons he used for his wicked deeds. Then he locked her and her little dog in an adjoining room. Soon afterward, he brought in a little boy whom he had captured in the woods gathering berries. He cut off the boy's head and cut him into pieces. Then he forced the girl to cook the boy's flesh and serve it to the innkeeper's guests.

Sometime later, the innkeeper brought in a very old woman, ugly and wrinkled and nothing but skin and bones. Perhaps waiting to fatten her up for later, he locked her in the room with the girl and her dog. After their captor had left, the old woman told the girl that the cannibal innkeeper was her own son and that she, disguised so well that he could not recognize her, had come to punish him for his

wickedness. Skilled in witchcraft, the old woman told the girl how she could escape. Fuck yes. She would first have to kill her little dog and eat a piece of his heart. The girl did this, and then the old woman rubbed some ointment all over the girl's body, which transformed her into a duck. A little later, the wild man opened the door, and the duck flew over his head escaping into the open

the innkeeper ran from the room to look for the girl and his mother uttered a magic curse that caused the whole house to collapse upon him killing him at once the girl turned around and saw the heap of ruins but as the old woman had not told her how she could again become human she has remained a duck to this very day the end it's also from a book romanian bird and beast stories and it has another name called why does the duck feed on refuse and it has like an ending that says like and that's why the duck is so fat and eats among dead bodies and dirty places i don't know it's super weird i don't see how those i don't see how that follows but okay we don't normally see that happening with ducks yeah i don't get why this experience makes and does that make her the progenitor of all ducks

or something and so that's why like like she's duck eve and so that's why, like, she's Duck Eve. And so that's what she teaches all of her children to do. Yeah, I didn't really get that either. But I thought that was a very fun story. I love that the witch doesn't tell her how to turn back into a human. Me too. I love that as like sort of like a trifling witch shows up. And she's like, she's got a mission.

She's got her own thing going on she tells the girl to do something horrible and then doesn't tell her how to turn it back there had to be like another way like to sacrifice your dog and to also i know it was really i was really fucked up at that part it was very sad there's so much that happens in that story yeah yeah so fast right fun though my my my fix for it though um is that she turns into a dog instead of a duck uh because she had to eat a bit of her dog's heart. So I just figured like that, like as, as a spell that makes more sense to me. I had the same thought too. I was like, yeah,

why a duck? That seems very out of place. Yeah. That's really random considering that in order to do that, you had to eat a piece of your dog. Like, wouldn't you turn into a dog? Yeah.

The original book that it comes from is very interesting and asks all the important questions. I'll post the link in our show notes, but asks all the important questions like how did the be out with the devil? Why did the eyes of the wolf glow and his hair bristle? Okay. Why the goat's knees are bare just questions like that literally there's a million like why is it right to kill a sparrow that's the whole book so it's an entire

book of like my kid asked me a really random question that I don't actually know the answer to. So I'm going to make up a story. Like. The very important questions. I love it. That's great. Do you have a fix for that story? Chadwick? Yeah,

I think now it's like playing off what you said before a little more detail on the mother would be interesting. Like what happened prior? What is the, you know, I mean, obviously this is horrible what he's doing but also what else is there to this story yeah i feel like the story

really skipped over one of the most interesting parts yeah she could have even just said something you know like it didn't have to it didn't have to be like this it didn't have to expand the story that much but just to like give us a little bit more yeah yeah i know all these like um kind of baltic stories tend to like just be quick and dirty and they kind of leave us wanting with a little more detail but i do love all the twists i feel like there was so much packed in such a small story uh chadwick you got one point and abby you got zero points yeah that makes sense it's what I deserve

so happy almost Halloween we hope you enjoyed this very spooky episode very special episode of fairy tale fix Chadwick thank you so much for telling us your original fairy tale that was oh so great thank you so really enjoyed it was such a pleasure to be with you both and see you thank you so much for having me thanks yeah i can't wait for your your illustrated book to come

out seriously we're expecting it like you must you must do it you're such like you're such a talented writer like that was really enjoyable thank you so much all right and remind everyone where they can find you on like instagram or so if you um want to follow the dark side of chadwick you could go to dark chadwick on instagram and my website dark chadwick.com and if you want to see a little bit lighter fairy tales but still some dark forest vibes i'm a tattooer and my Instagram is at mossy fable on Instagram all right thanks for being on the show thank you for having me

and they all lived wickedly ever after the end