Fairy Tale Fix - 85: Awwww ft. Caroline Donham

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

This week we're joined by our longtime friend Caroline Donham! Caroline tells us her Red Riding Hood fix that she rewrote when she was little, and it's just as cute as you'd imagine. Then she tells us some effed up nursery rhymes, and Abbie reads an even more effed up Brother's Grimm tale, The Heavenly Wedding.

I mean, they CGI'd Keira Knightley's boobs in the Pirates of the Caribbean movie, right? Yes. But those looked very convincing. Yeah, I was about to say, I remember them looking really good. I was watching very closely and it looked great. It did look great. In a totally, in the straightest possible way, I was sure at the time. I could not not look at her boobs. Hello, and welcome to Fairytale Fix.

This is the podcast... What? Why are you trying to interrupt my intro? That's very rude. This is the podcast where we read each other classic fairy tales from around the world and then fix them for a modern audience or for ourselves and for you, dear listeners. I'm Kelsey. I'm Abby. Sorry, Kelsey.

That's okay. I'm Abby. Sorry, Kelsey. That's okay. And today we have an extremely special guest, one of our best friends of all time, Caroline. Hello, hello. It's me. I'm Caroline. It's you. If you're a patron, you'll actually recognize Caroline's beautiful voice. She was a guest on one of our bonus bonus episodes. Hopefully, it's a little better sounding this time than it was last time. Yeah, looks like you got like a much more professional looking setup.

Sort of kind of. That's a more, that's a, it's, hey, I mean, it's not a headset mic, which automatically makes it a more professional setup. That is true. It's a pretty cool mic that my techie husband was able to provide to me. Nice. And are you in a closet? I am in the closet. It's the best setup for me. It's the quietest part of my whole house. During that minute of silence, it was just like thundering rain. Like all I could hear was just the rain pounding on my roof.

It's kind of nice. Giving it a little, a little ambiance. It's lovely. It's a lovely day to read a book and fix the fairy tale. Absolutely. We're so, we're so fucking excited to have you back and excited to hear your fairy tales. But

first we want to ask where, like, tell us about yourself and where people can find you and what, what your whole thing is. So Caroline, what's your whole thing? What's my whole thing? I have no idea. It's like what you're into or what you're about. Right? You don't even know who I am. So I'm Caroline, and I am a language nerd. I'm a nerd of lots of different kinds. I am a speech-language pathologist, and I particularly work with a lot of individuals who are not able to use their mouth to speak. So they are considered non-speaking or partially speaking, and they use what's called AAC or augmentative or alternative communication forms. And then I run a social group or like a group for

people to practice AAC if they want. And it's called Out and About. It is Greater Sacramento area Out and About AAC group. And we meet three times a year virtually and just kind of hang out and use AAC to communicate with each other. It's pretty cool. And you can find out more about that at carecommunicates.gmailmail.com what you do never sounds less impressive anytime you say it legitimately no legitimately you are so cool uh whenever you talk about what you do and the kind of work you do i'm just always like wow caroline's so smart caroline's cool awesome caroline caroline is so good at taking care of people. And the passion behind it, too.

I feel like I've known you since, what, we were 15 or 16, something like that? Yeah, we've known each other for 19 years now, Kelsey. Oh, my God. That's like almost two decades. I know. Oh, my God. We're getting so old. Mm-hmm. But, yeah, I feel like you've always had that.

You've always been very inclusive and caring and I mean, that's just like the perfect handle for you. Oh, thanks. I appreciate that. I mean, that's the point of communication is to connect and care about each other. So yeah, but that's why I like your guys' podcast too, That's the point of communication is to connect and care about each other. So, yeah. But that's why I like your guys' podcast, too, because that's what fairy tales do. You know, the fairy tales, like, share culture. They connect and communicate something important about that culture and connect generations and teach lessons.

And it's pretty awesome. Hell, yeah. Well, you just made us sound smart. I appreciate that. I know. Like, you know what? it's pretty awesome hell yeah well you just made us sound smart i appreciate i know like you know what it is pretty awesome i was like i was thinking about it i was thinking about it the other day and i was like this is literally the perfect utilization of your degrees for cultural anthropology this is very applicable to that you know know? Yeah. Very. Yeah. We really did choose anthropology for fun, for funsies. Yeah, for sure. For sure. But that's what I love about it too, you know? So I'm glad that you guys were able to make something out of it, which is awesome. You know, you actually might be able to settle a question that we had on our bonus episode,

which it hasn't come out yet as of this recording. So I know you haven't been able to listen to it yet. But there is a character in the story that Kelsey read me that is referred to as like deaf and dumb. And we were wondering if if calling someone dumb is like offensive to people who can't speak. Yes. And it, that particular term was used not to, it was originally meant as mute. Like when you were saying deaf and dumb, it was technically meaning deaf and mute, not necessarily deaf and less intelligent but because right yeah but because they had such a like a um pervasive ableism has really perpetuated and culture has morphed the word dumb to be less intelligent and so yeah yeah that's definitely offensive in today's so that would be definitely something to fix in a, in a fairy tale,

you know? I know we kept, um, the book kept saying deaf and dumb and I was like, I don't, I don't love that. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know what else to say. That's the point of this podcast, right? Is to identify those, those problematic terminology and, and help our modern audience know about those kinds of things. So they don't per continue to, don't continue to perpetuate them. So would mute be the appropriate word?

If you had to replace it, but most people who are not able to use their mouths to speak prefer the term right now, non-speaking. It's even more so than the term non-verbal. The thought behind that is non-verbal means that you don't have something to say, that you don't have words. Being verbal is using words. So non-verbal means you don't have words to say, which is not necessarily the case. There's lots of different ways that you can still use words specifically to communicate, but it's not necessarily moving your mouth in a way to make those words. Using something assistive technology like an AAC device. Fun fact, that's actually one of the reasons we stopped using the term blind reading i don't know if anyone has noticed but we used to like read a book that we are a story that we hadn't read before we

would call it a blind reading and i was like that's i feel like that sounds a little ableist and off so we started calling them random readings yeah i'd be curious to see what um a visually impaired person would have to do about that too. Because I know there's a lot of different camps in that. Like some are like, well, you can't police all language. Language developed for a reason. But at the same time, being sensitive to those populations is important too. So, I'd be, I can't, you know, get my two cents one way or the other. I like to usually get the perspectives of that community firsthand. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't, I can't figure out what I would call it if it's like, for example, like if I had a story that I had already picked, then I'm like, I haven't read

it though, but it's not, so it's not random. Right. Or like going on a blind date. Like, you don't know who you're going to, you know what I mean? that's so i i don't think i i don't think um we have the uh firsthand perspective to be able to give a definite judgment on it one way or the other you know what i mean but it'd be it'd be very interesting to ask somebody a part of that community what they think about it. I'm going to accost the next non-seeing person. There you go. And be like, I need you to figure this out. There you go.

I need you to make a definitive ruling on behalf of all people. Everyone, yeah. Yeah, that's another thing is, you know, even people within that community are going to disagree. Yeah. Just like any other, you know, body diverse community too. Is that language interesting? Yeah. No wonder I'm such a nerd about it.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Yes. You made that your whole life, don't you think? Yeah, it pretty much is. It's literally your whole life, don't you think? Yeah, it pretty much is. It's literally my whole life. Is it communication and the different ways that we go about doing that just so horribly, terribly fascinating? I mean, I could literally talk about it for the rest of my life.

And I mean that literally, not figuratively. And you probably will. A little break in between. You probably will. A little break in between. You definitely will. Absolutely. Well, moving on to a couple of our more standard questions. So thank you. Thank you for fielding that one, Caroline.

It literally just came to me that are like, oh, how cool that we're having Caroline on this episode when. That just happened. Yeah. That just happened. that just happened. Yeah, that just happened. What is your favorite childhood fairy tale? And how would you fix it?

Well, have I got a treat for you guys today? Because very much like Kelsey, my favorite childhood fairy tale is Little Red Riding Hood. Heck yeah. And I fairytale is little red riding hood heck yeah um and i i have a lot of fixes for it so much so that i just rewrote it i love that um and that is the story that i will be telling you you guys today. And it kind of follows, it's kind of like a blended, well, I have ADHD. So I would catch bits and pieces of stories and then blend them in my head. And that's totally what I did with Little Red Riding Hood and Robin Hood. And- Is that how you fixed it? Did you smush Red Riding Hood together with Robin Hood. And is that how you fixed it? Did you did you smush Red Riding Hood together with

Robin Hood? I kind of did a little bit. I am so hyped for that. That sounds awesome. I'm, I'm ready. Let's do it. I'm so glad you're excited. And it's more so because my name as a child was Robin. So Kelsey knows that very well. And I know Abby knows that too, but to the rest of the world who doesn't know. Yeah. So I didn't actually know my name was Caroline until I was six years old. So all of my like early childhood fairy tales, if they had Robin in them and I will tell you, there's a lot of Robins in fairy tales and nursery rhymes. They are all over the place. So I like conflated them and I was like,

you know, little red riding hood has to have a name, like an actual name. So her name's Robin. That would be a perfect name for a little red riding hood too. Right. I love that. Totally.

All right. So I'm not going to give you guys any spoilers. Are we getting right into it or did you want to tell us your thoughts on Damsel too? Because I think both of you had follow-up thoughts. Real quick, I have a really interesting fix. So this is just to people who listened to our bonus episode we uh had like a conversation about damsel um so if you want and we're still thinking about it so yeah if you want to listen to our conversation on that one uh you will have to sign up for our Patreon. But hey, give us $6.

$6. You get a whole month. Or $20 like I do. Yes. Caroline, you're such a good friend. And then you get a T-shirt and stuff. I love your sweater,

by the way, Caroline. I know. She's wearing a sweater that says, just say chicken. Just say chicken. But anyway, so yeah,

if you want to listen to that conversation, just head on over to our Patreon. It is fairytalefix.cash or patreon.com forward slash fairytalefixpod. Anywho, so really interesting. I have not heard this conversation yet, by the way. Oh, yeah.

No spoilers. No spoilers about Damsel whatsoever. Loads of spoilers over on our bonus out. Okay. But this was really interesting was we were talking about if there was like what book it was based on. And we found a book, but it said like based on the screenplay. And we were like, okay, it's just a screenplay adapted into a book, which we were like, man, now we don't want to read it. We were wrong.

Our wonderful patron, Rabia, sent me a message. And she actually contacted the author. She's amazing. And asked her about it. And she was like, no. That's really cool. I know. I can't believe y'all got some sort of connect.

Rabia doing our research for it. That's amazing. That's exactly what I was thinking. Rabia was doing her research. So she messaged the author and the author said that's actually the correct book that Evelyn, I'm sorry, her name's Evelyn. Evelyn Skye. Yeah, Evelyn Skye.

So she wrote it and she said, it says based on a screenplay because that's a Hollywood requirement, even if the movie and book stories are somewhat different. sky so she wrote and she said it says based on a screenplay because that's a hollywood requirement even if the movie and book stories are somewhat different and then she also goes on to say so if you're interested in the book we'll put a link in our show notes because i'm probably going to buy it and listen to it now i hope you enjoyed the movie and will now enjoy the book it has some significant differences including the ending oh i'm cute well the thing is i love the ending i know you so how different is it how different are we talking evelyn very interesting so i think huge shout out thank you to rabia for checking on that because we just assumed it was like a screenplay

made into a book and we were like, meh. Yeah. Wouldn't have bought that. I was like, well, then I know the story. Like, because like, if this is just the novelization of the film, then like,

yeah, you know, I guess that's some weird requirement. So yeah, I'm definitely going to check out the book now. Yeah. That's awesome. Cause I want to know the differences too.

Yeah. That's always so cool. Oh my gosh. I love it. Love it. Love it. Yeah. Caroline, do you have some

spoiler light thoughts um or would you like to share your spoiler heavy thoughts with us some other some other time in some other place oh goodness i mean i'm trying to i'm trying to think about how i can word things that will not be spoilery. That thing that happened? Yeah, that thing that happened. With that one person? Yeah. And those things, you know, and then that other thing, and then that guy,

and then that chick, and then, you know, just all of it. That's such a good point, Caroline. That was the whole movie, okay? that's such good point that was the whole movie okay um this is not really spoilery whatsoever but why in the world did they have to cg her lips so hardcore oh do you know what i'm talking about okay not not millie bobby brown's lips the of course the speech therapist would notice yeah you were you were watching everyone's mouths that makes perfect sense oh my gosh um okay what's the queen's name oh robin wright? I don't know what the character's name is, but Robin Wright plays.

Let me look it up really, really fast. Yes, Robin Wright. It's Robin Wright's character. They CGI'd her mouth so hardcore and it drove me nutso. Nutso. Do we watch it now? Was it because they changed what she said, maybe? No, I think it's just-

Oh, did they ADR a different line in? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure they were trying to de-age her or make her look artificially de-aged, maybe. Like, I almost got the sense that there was like subplot that was giving that direction. But hey, I don't know. I could be completely wrong. I'm looking. No, it's too CGI not to notice, though. You have to look at it when it's in motion. No, you can't tell when it's in still.

But when it's in motion you can tell it's it's intense and that's not a spoiler that's just a nitpicky spoiler that's gonna ruin the movie for people it will ruin the movie for some of us neurodivergent people that are gonna be like oh no okay let's get your laid on us. Okay. Do you guys want to make prediction for fixes? For what your mashup of Red Riding Hood and Robin Hood is going to be? Absolutely. I would like to make some predictions, please.

Yes. Are one of y'all going to write them down or do I need to? Kelsey's going to write them down. Sweet. You know what, Kelsey? Every time I listen to the episode, I literally picture your hands writing them down. Because I know how your hands look when you're handwriting stuff. I know.

My weird, the way it holds my phone. I love it. It's so elegant looking to me. I love it. Kelsey's classy. Well, thank you. I have a lot of people be like, that's weird. No, she's got those piano hands.

Yes. Very intentional. Very got those piano hands. Yes. Very intentional. Very graceful. Mm-hmm. Okay. Abby, you go first. What are your predictions? Okay.

Hmm. Okay. Okay. The wolf has been replaced with the merry men that's a really awesome prediction that's a solid prediction right it really is actually um wait real fast is this fairy tale What's this fairy tale mashup fix rating? Like, what percentage is it mashed up? No, no, no.

What's its rating? Is it PG? Is it R? Oh, it's G. It's G. Okay. Okay. Maybe PG-13, but G for the most part.

So, like, Lola could watch the movie. Yeah. I've changed one of my predictions. I know. So this version is like the childhood like little Robin inside of me rewrote this.

Okay. Aw, that's so cute. That's so cute. Okay, sorry, Abby. go on second place with the merry man red riding hood uh is their leader or becomes their leader she's there and the overarching major enemy of the story is very much still the tax collectors i like that too enemy of the story is very much still the tax collectors. Oh. I like that too. Okay. I was immediately thinking it was going to be so much

dirtier. We're having a hard time. My prediction is Red Riding Hood is like Robin Hood and she's the one stealing. It's a good prediction too. Yeah. I mean, Red Riding Hood, Robin Hood,

they both got the hood. They both got the hood. They both got the hood. Now that you mentioned it, that is, that is such a, that is such a good prediction. I'm a little embarrassed I didn't think of it. Little Caroline.

Oh, little Robin. I think Red Riding Hood tames the wolf. I like that prediction too. Like a pet. Is that three predictions or two predictions? Is that all? That's two. I've got one more.

Okay. So my third prediction is, oh my gosh, I don't know. Red Riding Hood is a Robin Hood Hood Red Riding Hood tames the wolf I'm gonna predict you inserted a witch that's so good I'm really trying to think of what little Carolyn might do I bet she did oh my goodness oh land oh my gosh okay

all right i love those predictions those are the best predictions ever oh my gosh okay all right so um without further ado it is little red robin hood so cute okay so Little Red Robin Hood. Yay! So cute. Okay. So. I'm so excited. There once was a little girl named Robin who lived in a town with her parents and her little brother, Beau. Aw. Aw.

Jimmy! Sorry. Caroline has an actual little brother and we we actually did call him Bo like Jimbo

aww oh yep nice aww aww I should have predicted she had a brother

god damn it her grandparents all lived out of town but the closest grandparent was her dear grandmother

Mary uh Robin called her grandma and grandma called her a couple of different names including robbie or little red or little robin hood or any combination thereof um and that was because robin loved to wear her bright red writing cloak that had a hood and pockets that were accessible from the inside and the outside. Yes, the dream. And that was because Robin loved to wear her bright red writing cloak that had a hood and pockets that were accessible from the inside and the outside. Hell yes. Hell yeah.

Pockets, pockets, pockets. I know, right? A cloak is nothing without pockets. Robin's parents liked her to wear it when she was outside on her own so that she could easily be spotted amongst the trees and bushes that was their backyard. One afternoon, Robin's mom got a call from grandma explaining that she couldn't attend the tea party that they had planned for that day because she was feeling under the weather. Robin's mom, whose name was Sue, had the idea.

Was her name Sue? Of course it was. This is little kid Robin. This is coming from experience. And everybody has a name. Everybody has a name. That's right. It's very important in fairy tales. It really is. Sue had the idea to send her daughter with a care basket that included like soup and tea and lemons and honey and apples and dried meats and cheeses and all that good, good stuff.

Robin was thrilled to go. She felt honored that she could be trusted to go on her own. And Robin's father told her to make sure that she kept her cloak on and not to talk to anyone and not to walk in the dark. Her mother added to call when she got to grandma's and not to forget the basket on the way back. Robin donned her cloak and took the basket that Sue had packed with the care packages and pat Bo on the head as she said farewell. She started to take the familiar route down the street by the library, turning at the gas station past the cemetery until you reach the tree line. There's a neighborhood of fancy but small houses and then the neighborhood becomes sparse with acres of forest between the properties that run along a windy river. I love this. Oh, great descriptions, Caroline. You like my imagery there? Yeah,

you're really printing a beautiful picture here. I love the details. Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go. I do. Along the way near the gas station, Red Robin Hood felt something watching her. She passed the station hearing a dog, one that she thought kind of looked like a wolf with its mangy hair, his gaunt but big figure, and yellow eyes and snarling teeth. Robin slowly walked by, non-threatening, as she passed the creature, but still kept feeling that watched sensation. At the stoplight before entering the tree line past the cemetery, she heard a gruff voice ask her where she was going.

Where are you going, little girl? That's such a good voice. I really like to do voices in stories. Oh, um, to my grandma's house. Oh, is all that yummy smelling food for her? He said hungrily. Yeah, she's sick and this can feed her for a while. Robin blabbered.

Little blabber mouth. Shut up, Robin. Yeah, for real. She needs to not give so many details. Ranger danger. Uh-huh. Robin. Yeah, for real. She needs to not give so many details. Ranger danger. Well, she's lucky to have such a good little granddaughter. Have a safe

trip. Thank you. I know. Gross, right? Nothing more red flaggy than like take care no you take care thank you she said to the towering man in all black with a ratty oversized hat and a long beard he also had strange yellow eyes, just like the wolves.

Oh my God. Kelsey, neither of us guessed there was going to be a werewolf in this story. We're so dumb. Yeah. God, you're right. Well, she said it was rated G. Sorry. We're not so dumb. We're very not intelligent. Oh, my goodness. Okay, so Robin kept walking, and while the stranger walked on the other side of the street, she never lost that sense of being watched. She decided that she might quicken her pace to Grandma's house. Smart girl. She got there and knocked on her grandma's door. Who is it? Grandma yelled from deep in the house it's me little red robbie hood i'm here with the basket mom packed for you come on in child little red robin hood solid old lady voice oh yeah I love my old lady voice. Come get comfy. So Robin went in, she took off her cloak

and put it over the chair. She put the basket on the table and started to unpack all of the good foods from the care package. She put away the fruits, meats, and cheeses and then started to warm up two bowls of soup and served two cups of tea. Oh, Robbie, what good food this is. All the better to take care of you, Grandma. Aw. Aw. Daw. Aw.

We get our first classic line. And after sharing some stories and laughs and Grandma getting tired, it was quickly approaching dark and Robin had to go. So she grabbed her cloak and then gave her grandma a kiss and rushed out of the house yelling, see you tomorrow, grandma. Love you. As her grandma fell asleep. And Robin was in a hurry. She ran through the forest and the fancy neighborhood, passed the cemetery, and got to the stoplight. The light turned on to walk and Robin started

to run. She only got pulled back against her efforts by her red cloak that was held by none other than the wolf from earlier in the day. Oh no! Oh no! wolf from earlier in the day. Robin unclasped her cloak as she screamed and ran as fast as she could, turning at the gas station, running down the street past the library until she got to her

home where she slammed the door, panting and crying. Her mother, father, and little brother were stunned. Then they were worried. Then they started bombarding her with questions about what happened. Is grandma okay? Where's your cloak? Where's the basket? All good questions. My family was really intense.

A family that loves you in a fairy tale? Exactly. Caroline, this was supposed to be believable. Well, it was my dream, okay? Uh-huh. Okay. So Robin was overwhelmed and crying until she processed the last question about the basket. She had forgotten it at Grandma last question about the basket. She had forgotten

it at grandma's and in the rush. Then the wolf and dog had ripped off her cloak. And then on the way home, and she explained it all to her family. And they hugged her and they told her it was going to be okay. And her parents told her that they will all go and get everything tomorrow. Maybe they could find the cloak along the way, that maybe it was dropped by the dog. So they all settled and rested for the night. Meanwhile, a knock, knock, knock pounded on Grandma's door. Who is it?

Because she fell asleep. It was a snort effect. That's so good. That was the perfect snore awake. It's me. You're. A squeaky voice tried to say. Your granddaughter.

Oh, it must be morning already. I felt like I barely slept, said Grandma as she opened her eyes. She saw the tip of the red cloak through the little peephole of her door, the little window of her door. So she thought it was Little Red Robin Hood. And she saw the basket that Robin had left on the table. So she looked to the door and strange, it still seemed to be dark, but maybe it was just cloudy. So she could see the little tip of Robin Hood's hood and waddled slowly to the door. When she opened it, her eyes felt like they were bulging out of their skull and playing tricks on her. Robin's cloak was on a scrawny looking man dressed in dark clothes

he was covered with hair and he lunged at grandma knocking her out cold from her head hitting the ground the wolf slash man so ding ding ding for werewolf that nobody guessed. I know. God damn it. I feel very foolish. I know. I really thought Kelsey was going to guess werewolf too. Yeah. Kelsey, you really usually try to put... Wow.

She usually tries to put werewolf in Red Riding Hood however she can. You know what? I answered it a witch. That's true. I predicted a witch. She usually tries to put werewolves in Red Riding Hood however she can. So I'm surprised she didn't put in this one. I feel like I answered in a witch. That's true. I predicted a witch. Oh, my goodness. Okay.

So the wolf man had stuffed grandma into a wardrobe and also took a set of matching clothing that she was wearing. So like a long white nightgown and a puffy white cap. Grandma's phone was ringing, but the wolf dare not pick it up. The answering machine turned it on. See, modern twist. The answering machine turned on and it was Robin's mom explaining that Robin and her father would be returning the next day to get the basket and to look for her cloak as it got lost on the way home. The wolfman got nervous and he had to figure out a way to stay to be able to get everything that he wanted. So he wanted to eat all of that yummy food from the basket. He also wanted to eat that old lady.

That could keep him fed for a week. Absolutely. Because he wasn't really partial to old meat, though. He liked young and strong meat. So he came up with a plan. Aging bones. Yep. You know, young chicken and old chicken taste a little different, you know.

So he came up with a plan. Robin and her father were coming and he could play the long game and get some delicious meat, stay in this cozy home and be fed for a couple of months, he was sure. So he grabbed a matching nightgown and cap from the wardrobe, as I'd said before before and snacked on some of the dried meat before um he spoiled his appetite and he laid in grandma's bed and fell asleep grandma faded in and out of consciousness while she was stuck in the wardrobe so we're sad for grandma but at least she's not eaten quite yet she's not in his belly yeah no yeah we haven't gotten there i used to i i'll talk about that after actually okay um the next morning robin and her father and i decided to name him hunter because it's always the hunter that is like the protector very nice okay of little red robinhood

little red riding hood whatever um so her father hunter walked to grandma's house as they approached Oh, very nice. Okay. Of Little Red Robin Hood. Little Red Riding Hood. Whatever. So her father, Hunter, walked to grandma's house. As they approached, they noticed that the door was just barely ajar. Robin's father said that he was going to check out the outside after he took a quick peek in to see that grandma's nightcap and gown were moving rhythmically with loud snores echoing through the house. So Hunter thought that grandma's fine. He's going to check out the outside. And Hunter instructed Robin to go in and check on her grandma while he looked around. Robin entered the house and was struck with fear when she spotted her cloak and heard the unfamiliar breathing noises. She slowly approached the sleeping, snoring pajamas, and all of the sudden, the snores turned into a choking and clearing of throat. Okay.

A strange, gravelly voice emerged from the figure, mimicking Grandma. The imposter turned sleepily to address Robin. Oh, my grandchild. You startled me. Yes, do it again. Oh, my grandchild, you startled me. Grandma, you are sick. Pretty much.

Pretty much. Oh, my goodness. Okay. Forgive my appearance and voice. I'm feeling a bit sick. Sensing something strange and similar to the cautious feeling that she had from the wolf from yesterday um she didn't want to get eaten right away she decided to play along with the plan smart smart super smart yep so first she decided to heat up the soup over the stove in a To play along with the plan. Smart. Smart. Super smart. Yep. So first, she decided to heat up the soup over the stove in a big pot, just like she had done the day before.

Oh, Grandma, what big ears you have, referring to the large hairy ears that the figure had. All the better to hear you with, my dear. Oh, Grandma, what big eyes you have, she said loudly enough for anyone who might be in the next room or right outside the window could hear. All the better to see you with, my dear. Oh, Grandma, what big hands you have. All the better to hug you with my dear and he grabbed her and held her in an awkward hug and she started to get scared but kept kept fighting hoping her father would hear her and come help while he's like grabbing a hold of her he's like yeah no i know but it would make me less uncomfortable if you tried

to eat her right away. Yeah. The awkward head point. Please, no. Just eat me. Just eat me. So she kept trying to wiggle out, but then she still

said, oh, granny, what big teeth you have. Robin yelled with terror in her voice all the better to eat you with my dear the wolf in disguise exclaimed as he opened his mouth adjusted his grip on robin and then felt hot scalding liquid pour all over his head, his back, and his shoulders. He shrieked. We like this. Yes, we do. Sorry, I'm getting excited now. I'm getting louder.

He shrieked and let go of Robin as Hunter proceeded to hit him in the head with a pot of soup repeatedly until the wolf was no longer at risk of consciousness at risk of consciousness is a great line worthy of james finn gardner oh yeah i'm glad you liked it go on your dad hell yeah robin scooted backwards along the floor away from the bed until she bumped into the armoire.

She heard a distinct groan come from inside and startling Robin's attention to the groaning furniture. Robin opened the twin doors and found her real grandmother crumpled at the bottom. Grandma, she called robbie grandma replied robin's father rushed over to check the scene he found robin crying and kneeling by the large wooden furniture that held mary like a cradle and she was trying to catch her breath. He checked her, found the nearest blanket, and wrapped it around her. He scooped her up and took Grandma to the car parked in her garage

while hollering to Robin to follow him and get in. Robin's dad took them directly to the ER where Grandma got seen by the doctor, and Robin's dad called his wife and gave a police report to the officers and told them about the wolf that should still be unconscious in the house. Grandma slowly recovered, but decided to move in with Robin, Bo, Sue and Hunter. And they lived happily ever after. The end. That was so cute it wasn't so much a blend of like robin hood storyline caroline that had nothing to do with nothing to do with robin hood other little red riding hood robin yes i feel duped i feel misled you told me that was a great prediction and it was in fact not

a great prediction. But Robin saves the day. And that is the other concept that connects it to Robin Hood is that Robin saves the day. Okay. So I get that point. Red Riding Hood is Robin Hood.

Yes. Technicality. I leaned way too Red Riding Hood is Robin Hood. Yes. Oh, no. Technicality. Yeah. I leaned way too hard into thinking that this had anything to do with Robin Hood. I almost told you at the beginning that it's not really storyline. It's more nomenclature. It was me. No, it's better this way.

It's funnier. It's really a Little Red Robin, Little Red Riding Hood fix. I really called it Little Red Robin Hood when I was little. Of course you did. That's super cute. Little Red Robin Hood.

I catch myself on it all the time. Yeah, I can't believe none of us guessed werewolf i feel like that's just too old like that may have been almost too predictable maybe or too like but that's how i used to see it when i was like i knew it was like a like a predatory dude and then it was also a wolf you know so i blended it nice i like it neurodivergent little brain but hey that's how modern twist yeah and like that's how that's how fairy tales happen you know like it's little twists and turns and retellings that that make them perpetuate through time i mean i'm gonna start i'm gonna start telling it as little red robin hood from now on nice you know we can get enough energy going

behind this in a couple hundred years we will have changed the name of this story hell yeah let's do it it's a pet my favorite fix though is kelsey's fix which is um that little red little red riding hood gets turned into a werewolf also oh yeah yeah i love that one it's good stuff it's the classic yeah we went way off the rails on that one. Mm-hmm. Wasn't it like, yeah, it was like Red Riding Hood's a werewolf and also Grandma's a werewolf. Yes, and Grandma's a werewolf, too. And now they're both fighting crime. And they're basically just Baba Yaga in the future. We decided that they were basically going to form a werewolf pack together.

Yes. Yep. I loved it. And create more werewolves. Yep, that was my favorite. My absolute favorite fix. Me too. I love that fix. But I also, I do, I like your version of the story where like Red

Riding Hood gets out of the situation by using her own cleverness. And then also by like getting help. Yes, signaling for help out how to summon help. Yeah. Without alerting her attacker. Right.

Right. Exactly. That was a good rewrite, Caroline. I liked that. Thank you. Good imagery. Thank you.

I appreciate it. Yeah. Great imagery. Honestly, no fixes. Oh, nice. My fix is that it had something to do with Robin Hood.

I know. Actually, when you were making your predictions, I was like, damn, that would have been a really good one. Make him a robber? Like, make the wolf a robber? Like, that's a really good one. I could still totally rewrite and re-edit it to make him a robber. I think you should. And then you should tell it to me again with the robin hood element yeah also i don't know this is like

a total like weird random thought about just the name robin hood i literally this morning was like oh he's robin people that's why he's named robin he's robin he sure is he's robin the hood he's robbing people that's why he's named robin he's robbing people he sure is he's robbing the hood he's a robbing people he's he's robbing this hood let's see it if you do rewrite it again make sure to insert a witch i will actually i thought about i thought about making the grandma witch i thought making the grandma which would be totally appropriate. It is not too much. You should do all of these things. I am. I think I'm gonna further rewrite.

And then the popular children's book that you absolutely could sell to some publisher. We could also put it in our book. That's going to be a choose your own adventure. Yes. We put it in our book. Oh yeah. There we go. That's the way to do it yeah there we go that's the way to do it

oh yeah way to do it we have some edits but have so many different alternative endings dude i know right oh i love it i love it love it all right so share share the mother goose stuff oh yes okay so my other thing that I wanted to share with everybody today was some classic Mother Goose. What? Because these are classic AF and they are some fucked up limericks, man. Talk about fucked up fairy tales. There are a lot of little just two line fairy tales, you know, like two line,

two sentence horror stories. These are like two line, two line horror story fairy tales. I think I've mentioned on the podcast how like, I thought this book was cursed when I was a kid. Like mom was telling me all the horrible like things behind some of the nursery rhymes. And I was like,

this book is cursed. And I was freaked out. Like The ring around the rosy shit. Yeah, that's crazy. Well, this is our first example. Are you guys ready? Oh, yes. Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home. Your house is on fire and your children will burn.

That's just the first one. Why? That was the picture i don't see any children on fire that's a nice no it's the ladybugs children oh wait but her pick for her pick they're not on fire though well you can't see any fire i don't know but there's the ladybird. I don't know. The child is just putting bad stuff, bad juju into the world. Because there's a kid with a magnifying glass doing that thing.

Do you know what the history is? I don't know. Are you ready? There's some sexy ones in here too. Are you ready? I like little pussy. Her coat is so warm. Yeah, you do.

And if I don't hurt her, she'll do me no harm. So I'll not pull her tail nor drive her away. But pussy and I will very gently play. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

And of course, it's a cute little toddler with petting a kitty cat. It's a cute little pussy. Cat. What a pretty little pussy. That's good advice. It is good advice, especially if you are a coyote in that one story.

You play real gentle or it will bite you literally but he likes it if it bites him a little just a little just a little little nip little nip this one was pretty sexy too about the bush willie about the beehive about the bush willie i'll meet thee alive that's it that's the whole one. All right. We also have some classics that have obviously been rewritten to be more positive than their original intent. Are you ready for this one? Yes. Baa Baa Black Sheep.

Have you any wool? Yes, Mary, have I three bags full. One for my master, one for my dame, but none for the little boy who cries in the lane. Oh. I know. Sad twist, right? And this little boy is crying. Oh, well.

Wow. You know what? He's expressing how he feels. He's expressing his emotions, and that's okay. No, it's not okay, because then he's not going to get any wool from the sheep. Boys shouldn't cry. Don't cry. Boys don't cry. That's right.

People are allowed to express their emotions. That's right. But they're not allowed to go on adventures, as this one shows. Three children sliding on the ice upon a summer's day as it fell out they all fell in the rest they ran away oh have these children been at school or sliding on dry ground ten thousand pounds to one penny they had not when they'd been drowned ye parents who have children dear and ye too who have none. If you would keep them safe abroad, pray keep them safe

at home. Jesus. PSA. How morbid. It's just the PSA for thin eyes. Yeah, this is like the 1800s version of like the 80s commercial of like, it's nine o'clock.

Do you know where your children are? Exactly what it is. I like Mother Goose like fulfilling that function. Did you let your children outside to play on thin ice? This one was a warning. He's already dead. Totally. This one was a warning about not taking too small a boat to go somewhere.

Three wise men of Gotham went to sea in a bowl. And if the bowl had been stronger, my song had been longer. Wow. Oh, I love that art. That sounds like some stand-up comedy my song have been longer that's my dad that's cold i love that one okay oh this one's for you kelsey okay yay there was an old woman tossed in a blanket 17 times as high as the moon.

But where she was going, no mortal could tell, for under her arm she carried a broom. Old woman, old woman, old woman, said I, wither, ah, wither, ah, wither so high to sweep the cobwebs from the sky and I'll be with you bye and bye this art's very pretty i like this isn't it so cute we'll have to get some pictures up on the instagram oh yeah i'll definitely i'll definitely send you some okay and maybe a link to the book

if it's still sold i think it is i think i think so all right are you ready now we get some some um some lgbt representation in this one oh i love it please yeah me too gotta gotta share my peeps all right robin and richard were two pretty men they stayed in bed till the clock struck 10. And up starts Robert and looks at the sky. Oh, brother Richard, the sun's very high. You go before with the bottle and bag,

and I will come after on little jack-nag. I don't know what the little jack-nag necessarily means, but it's like, oh shit, we gotta leave separately, okay? It's a walk of shame like oh no and i like how like they put oh brother richard oh brother yeah because like oh no we're sleeping in the same bed because we're brothers right okay they were roommates

it's clearly not about two lovers right Right. It says brother right there. Nope. And I love that one of them's named Robin. Love it. This is going to be the theme of all of my stories today is Robin. Speaking of which, Twas once upon a time when Jenny Wren was young, so daintily she danced and so prettily she sung.

Robin Redbreast lost his heart, for he was a gallant bird. So he offed his hat to Jenny Wren, requesting to be heard. Oh dearest Jenny Wren, if you will but be mine, you shall feed on cherry pie and drink new current wine. I'll dress you like a goldfinch or any peacock gay. So dearest Jen, if you'll be mine, let us appoint the day. Jenny blushed behind her fan and thus declared her mind. Since dearest Bob, I love you so well. I'll take your offer kind. Cherry pie is very nice and so is current wine, but I must wear my plain brown gown and never go too fine because girl birds are not quite as pretty as the boy birds i just thought that was so cute oh that

is really cute that one is not one of the fucked up ones but it was so cute and it had robin red breast in it i love it okay now everybody i am wearing just a chicken shirt, and I picked this particular one to go with it. Abby, this one's for you. This one is for you, Abby. I can tell. Keeping it together. It's good. Go on.

I'm ready. Are you ready? First four words. Cock, cock, cock, cock. I've laid an egg. How else are you going to start a nursery rhyme? Exactly. Exactly. How else are you going to start a nursery rhyme?

Exactly. If nobody has listened before this episode, this is why we have the Just Say Chicken. Oh, goodness. Okay. Cock, cock, cock, cock. I'm laughing so hard. You can see the V vein in my forehead. My cheeks hurt. I know.

Oh, my goodness. Okay. Let me try this again. You know, I've been able to hold it together better and better on stories where they just use the word once and where, like, it's in a sentence, you know? But someone just screaming for cock is so funny. Especially at children's nursery right cock cock cock cock i have laid an egg am i to gang the air foot yeah it says it like that hen hen hen hen i've been up and down to every shop in town and cannot find a shoe to fit your

foot if i'd crown my heart out i think it's supposed to be like how they talk heart out and like am i going to gang barefoot and i also don't know where she is going to wear these shoes. Is she going to a gangbang in these shoes? I am going. Am I to gang barefoot? I don't know, Miss Hen. Ask your cock. Oh, boy.

Okay. I'm destroyed. I'm dead. You ready for this one? No. We got robins and pussies in this one. Okay. I'm destroyed. I'm dead. You ready for this one? No. We got robins and pussies in this one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Sorry. I keep covering my thing.

Little Robin Redbreast sat upon a tree. Up went the pussycat and down went he. Down came pussycat. Away Robin ran. Says little Robin Redbreast, catch me if you can. Little Robin Redbreast jumped upon a spade. Pussycat jumped after him and then he was afraid. Little Robin chirped and sang. And what did Pussy say? Pussycat said,

mew, mew, mew. And Robin flew away. I thought that one was cute too. That is cute. Oh yeah, I love the artwork in this book there's a bunch of dead rats around that cat no that is um pots

terracotta pots ah I see okay okay yes I see it now for a second I was like oh my god that Robin should not have gotten even close oh are you ready for this okay do you guys remember that just scream cock again

we'll let you decide um you know that you know that song i think it's You know that song, I think it's Ingrid Michaelson or somebody similar that had the coin operated toy. Dressed in dolls. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This one reminds me. I was like, this is the poem that inspired that.

Oh, interesting. Sitting on a shelf when I turn him on. Yeah. When I turn him on, then he makes me happy okay i had a little husband no bigger than my thumb i put him in a pint pot and there i bid him drum hell yeah well not little they're not that well i have an array i'll stop there i put him in a pint pot and there i bid him drum i bought a little handkerchief to wipe his little nose and a pair of little garters to tie his little hose wow i love that one that one just has so much subtle sexual innuendo. It's so great.

Because it's so much sexual innuendo if you're taking it as a metaphor. If you're taking it literally, why are you wiping your husband's nose? It's like you're cleaning your toy off. Do you mean a little child? Right, yeah. No, no, I get it as a metaphor. I'm saying if you take it literally. Yeah, but like if it's a person, yeah. Right.

Right. Okay. All right. One. Right. Right. Okay. All right. One last one. This is just a what the fuck. Okay. There was a man in our town and he was wondrous wise. He jumped into a bramble bush and scratched out both his eyes.

And when he saw his eyes were out with all his might and main, he jumped into another bush and scratched them in again. Yeah. I don't love that. That was very like, what the fuck? Scratch them in. I don't.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what that means. How? What? No, I don't know. I don't think that at all works. I don't know what that means. How? What that? No, I don't know. I don't like this. Well, kids, goodnight. Yep, goodnight. Yeah, that's literally the last one.

That's literally the last one in that book. Sweet dreams. Sweet dreams. Nutso, begutso. And that's all I got for you thank you Caroline that was a delight that was a rollercoaster

I felt lots of feelings all over the place I'm glad I could make you feel alive I Mother's Day continues to be the most horrifying thing in children's literature it has a exalted place for a good reason yeah absolutely i keep this on the adult bookshelf for a good reason we do not want lola asking certain questions i mean i'm down to answer

questions but cop cop cop cop can be busting out laughing i can't really explain why i'm laughing so hard no no the problem is other if she does it in public other adults will totally understand and then she'll start wondering why are all of the adults laughing so hard yeah exactly exactly so well ladies do we have Yeah. So hard. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So, so funny. Well, ladies, do we have a little more stamina for me to do a random read? I am down. So fucking lootly. I'm so excited.

All right, my lovelies. You know the drill. I'm going to flip through the pages of the complete first edition of the original folk and fairy tales of The Brothers Grimm, translated and edited by Jack Zipes. Woo! Y'all tell me when to stop. Wait until it's at the very end.

Caroline, you do it. And... Stop. I feel like all the weird ones are near the back. Agreed. Like all the weird short ones. Or the weird...

They're either in the front or in the back the heavenly wedding oh how lovely none of us have ever read this story before so we all get to make predictions sorry caroline what have you just watched oh i just watched love is blind and so i have weddings on the brain oh indeed, we need to talk about this season offline. Love it. I'm sure we both have thoughts and feelings. It was a wild one. The Heavenly Wedding.

How many predictions do we get to make? It's about a page, so I'm going to let you each make two. And I'll make two because I haven't read it either. Okay. The Heavenly Wedding. I'm going to predict that one

of the wedding party members is an animal. That's fun. Whether it be secret or not like shapeshifty or not, but it's actually an animal. Yeah. My second prediction is that the wedding looks nice, but feels bad.

Ooh, looks nice, feels bad. I'm into it. That's a great prediction. That's a good one. I hope that's right, actually. That's creepy. Okay. I predict that it is literally heavenly like there there is some sort of heaven

like an alternate alternate realm yeah it's literally heavily my second prediction is that it ends in no marriage oh okay that's a fair prediction actually i don't nobody ends up actually married okay inspired by love is blind none of those people should get married ever ever with the possible exception of that one couple season one i was like there's like two couples maybe three couples i can think of it i'm like yeah they're they're good i could think of two um anyway okay my predictions um abby i forgot you get to make predictions yeah i get to i get to make a couple. I haven't read it either. Leaving me off the list.

This is a Jack and Rose from Titanic situation. Ooh. Wait, what does that mean? So like class differences or? No. One of them dies. One of them died when they were young. And so they get married after they die.

Oh, that would be so sweet. Okay. I'm interested to see that. Okay. Yeah. And then what's your second prediction? There's a devil. Ooh.

I thought about that for a second, too. Love a devil. I decided with animal instead. Okay. Are we ready? Hit us. Once there was a peasant boy. Once.

W-H-O-O-N-C. Once. Now age. Once there was a peasant boy who heard a priest talking in church whoever desires to enter the kingdom of heaven must always walk a straight path only straight people straight it is so the boy set upon his way and went straight along always straight ahead without turning over hill and valley he took this very literally oh wow i think he might have been on the spectrum yes oh my god he's. This is absolutely an autistic boy. He's like, I will go straight. I got it. I will go straight.

Straight and narrow. I will not even widen my legs. I will go narrow. I know my home is to the left, but the priest told me I have to go straight. And so straight is what I will go. Finally, his way led into a large city and then into the middle of a church where a holy service is being performed. When he saw all the magnificent pomp, he thought that he had now reached heaven. So he sat down and rejoiced with all his heart. When the holy service is over and the sexton told him to leave, he answered, no, I'm never going to leave. I'm happy now that I finally made it to heaven. Oh, that's so cute.

That is cute. The sexton went to the priest and told him that there was a boy who didn't want to leave the church because he thought he was in heaven. And the priest essentially has the same reaction to us, which is. Oh, if that's what he believes, the priest said, then let him stay. Oh, this is like the most like cute story so far it's kind of adorable it becomes like a little altar boy hopefully he doesn't get diddled i mean yeah we let's not make him an altar boy. Yikes, Caroline. God. Yeah, yikes. Well, I mean, you heard all those nursery rhymes.

Yes, the little fellow answered. He was used to working. Oh, wait, sorry. I've skipped a whole sentence because Caroline's horrifying statement. Yeah. horrifying statement. Yeah. Okay, so the priest goes to the boy and asks him if he would like to

do some work. Yeah, he would. I didn't mean to laugh like a truck. I'm sorry. Like a truck that's having trouble starting. Now it's recorded forever. It is. Y'all can sound clip it. Make it's recorded forever it is y'all can make it my my ringtone so yes the little fellow would like to have a job

a normal job a normal job safe a safe job safe job we're holding it together. He was used to working, but he never wanted to leave heaven again. Caroline, you're horrible. I'm sorry. You've infected me. You may, you may, you took this adorable story and you took it to a place that my brain can't untake it to.

Just like a preacher's daughter would oh goodness i guess she can't help herself okay so he remained in the church and when he observed how the people went up to the image of the virgin mary with the blessed child jesus carved in wood and how they knelt down and prayed. He thought that's our dear Lord. And he said, listen, dear Lord, you're much too thin.

The people are certainly letting you starve. I'll bring you half my food every day. Oh, sweet boy. I feel like this episode is called. Oh, oh, sweet Robin.

This boy's name is now Robin. From then on, he brought the image of mother and child half of his food every day, and the image began to enjoy the meals. That's really creepy. Fucking creepy. That's weird. I like where this is going. Yeah.

After a few weeks, people noticed that the mother and child in the image had put on weight and that they had become fat and strong, and they were quite surprised. The priest couldn't understand it either, so he remained in the church and followed the little boy and saw how he shared his meal with the Virgin Mary and how she also accepted it. Interesting. with the Virgin Mary and how she also accepted it. Interesting. After some time, the boy became sick and couldn't leave his bed for a week. But when he could get out of bed again, the first thing he did was to bring his food to the Blessed Virgin. The priest followed him and heard him say, Dear God, please don't think wrong of me for

not having brought you anything for such a long time, but I was sick and couldn't get up. The image answered him by saying, I've seen your good intentions and that's enough for me next Sunday. I want you to come with me to the wedding. Ooh, the boy was glad about this. I'm honestly kind of wondering,

like, is this going to have a Hans Christian Anderson style? Happy ending is a real creepy. We're like, they died. Hooray. Oh, I was hoping that he got to grow up and sleep with Richard.

No. You shush. So the boy was glad about this and told the priest to ask him to go to the image and inquire whether the priest could also come along. Hmm. No, replied the image. You alone. Oh, my.

No. The priest. Creepy. I think Kelsey is going to get her point. The priest wanted to repair the boy first by giving him Holy Communion. The boy was happy to do this, and on the next Sunday when he partook of the Holy Communion, he fell down

dead, and thus he went to the eternal wedding. What? Is that the end? That's the end. The end. Wait, read that last part again. Next Sunday, when he partook of Holy Communion, he fell down dead and thus he went to the eternal wedding. What?

What the fuck? What the fuck? Yay, I got a point. I got two points. You got two points you you got two points it was literally heavenly and nobody ends up married what how what that's so creepy so he doesn't get to just gets to die oh this is like a little dead oh i'm like imagining like a poor little sick leukemia kid back in the day it was no treatment he's just laying up at a little monastery and like all he wants to do his little last wish is to give his little friends in

the picture their last meal because he couldn't do it for so long. And then he gets communion and goes to heaven. And there was no wedding. How was the wedding? What is the eternal wedding? I don't know. Is he marrying Jesus? I don't know.

Like that's what like monks and Caroline, you can't go to heaven unless you're straight. Oh, he did. He did follow the straight path. He followed it straight to his fucking death. Yeah, I don't know. What that means. That was so creepy. I hated that. Thanks That was so creepy. I hated that.

Thanks, Jack Zipes. Maybe there's like a translation thing or just like it's old. Maybe eternal wedding is just like the marriage of the soul to heaven or to Christianity. Was the priest mad he couldn't come so he murdered the little kid? Did he poison the communion? Oh my god, I hope not. That's dark.

Even darker take. I have so many questions about that. Hmm. I want you to come with me. Was the devil in that story, Abby? There's a parable. There's a parable that Jesus gave to his disciples supposedly about the heavenly wedding banquet. The parable explains that the saints who attend the wedding banquet will receive salvation and enter the eternal kingdom of heaven.

So that might be what it's like referring to. Who's getting married in this parable? We don't know. I don't know. Caroline, I'm giving you a point because the wedding looks nice, but feels bad. Yeah. That's the point for Caroline. And Abby, I'm giving you a point because the devil is in that story for real.

I'm not sure exactly who it is, but I think it's the priest. It's someone. I think it's the priest. I think so, too. I think he spiked that communion and sent that little boy to heaven. The first one that says you have to walk a straight line, and then the second one who murdered that little kid. There were two devils in that story

there were two devils inside this story are two devils wow wow moral of the story is that fairy tales are fucked up fairy tales are fucked up i come from human fucked up experiences yeah yeah i guess like the most generous interpretation of this story like is caroline yours where it's like the kid the child already had like a terminal illness yeah or something and like maybe couldn't keep the food maybe couldn't keep his food down yeah and that's why he like gave half of it to the painting or whatever absolutely um yeah but the painting or statue or whatever it was got, like, thicker. Thicker, yeah.

And people noticed. That's so creepy. I know. That is creepy. Honestly, I'd be down to see, like, a short horror. There are some things natural happening there. I feel like an Easter egg of that would be really cool, you know? Like, not necessarily a whole plot line but like a little

a little side plot and it was so it was so cute and like sweet and wholesome up to a point and then like i think i think around the time that like this the the um the mother and child started getting bigger like is around the time where i was like, oh. That story did not disappoint. I mean, I love it so much. No, that was a great one. Do we have any fixes for it? I don't know. Something supernatural is happening and the priest

is feeding a monster. Ooh. Something like that. I want something more overtly horror movie-esque like having like the painting is sent like actually sentient and like a portal yeah was it was it a painting or a statue i totally spaced on what i think i spaced on that too i thought it was a painting that's because as soon as you started talking about it i was picturing that like weeping angel statue from Dr. Who.

It sounds like a carving. So it was like a wood carving of the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus. Interesting. Yeah. And the fact that it's getting, that makes it, it doesn't make it like more devilly. It's like a demon possessed object

you know yeah yeah and the priest just helped helping feed it under a guise yeah little kids oh my god that was fun creepy that's kind of a fun one like i don't know yeah i don't know i definitely wouldn't call it the heavenly wedding no no it's one of those this is definitely one of those grimm's fairy tales where it's like the the we got we got a little we forgot that they often start with something that will never be actually mentioned more than once yeah or like it ends up there but you didn't think it was going that direction yep yeah um if any of our listeners have like more thoughts about like the heavenly wedding or like know more about what that is like i'm sincerely very curious like i don't yeah i don't know what that i know i tried to look it up but i just got

like a bunch of wedding websites yeah that's pretty much what i that's pretty much what i saw too well good job everyone uh i feel like we have i feel like caroline's um initial story was the most wholesome thing that we heard uh about to be it was going to be eclipsed by the heavenly wedding and then the heavenly wedding took an incredibly dark turn it as dark as mother goose yeah just as dark as mother goose because and also like unintentionally dark i think that's supposed to be a happy ending yeah but as with all those hans christian anderson stories where like the protagonist has to die in order to move on like it's just i don't like it but we like you thank you caroline for coming on with us today we love you so much this is so much fun uh can you remind people where they can find you out and about doing things on the interwebs? Yes. So I am the distracted SLP is my Instagram handle. And I also run the greater Sacramento

out and about AAC group, which if you search Facebook for that, you can find that there or you can email me at care communicates at gmail.com for more information. Caroline is a genius and well worth getting connected with if that's something that you're interested in. And I am hoping to change the world and how we see communication. So yeah, I'm willing to share my knowledge and crazy ways of thinking with pretty much anyone. easy ways of thinking with pretty much anyone. As for the rest of you out there listening in your cars or on your phone, cleaning or working or whatever.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of fairytale fix. If you enjoyed this show, as we hope you do, please subscribe and you can leave us a review on apple or audible or you can leave us five stars on spotify pretty much anywhere that will allow you to give us feedback we request that or amazon music now or amazon music now thank you caroline you can also if you would like to support the show with money you can go to fairytalefixpod.cash and you can get extra episodes and merch and books

and other bonus content like the one we did with Caroline over the winter where we read a children's book that was a choose your own adventure red riding hood. You will get access to that if you go to our Patreon.

That was so much fun. It was super fun. A bonus bonusode, if you will. A bonus bonusode riding hood you will get access to that if you go that was you our patreon so much fun it was bonus bonus owed if you bonus bonus owed if you will and you will will because it is awesome uh you can also find us on social medias of various types at fairy tale fix pod we are mostly active on instagram so i highly recommend you go check us out there. And you can also go to our discord. You can find a link for that on our website. And if you have questions about anything, or you just want to tell us your favorite fairytale folklore nursery rhymes, if you want to be like Rabia and do our homework for us and email us about that,

you may do so at info at fairytalefixpod.com. We love you, Rabia. You are currently our favorite listener. You have supplanted, I believe it was Cougs, that was on top for a brief moment there. But it's Rabia now. Fight her for it. And so in Caroline's rewrite of red robin hood she her rewrite of her rewrite of red robin hood

she will include elements of the robin hood story as is suggested by that title and the werewolf is a robber yes the werewolf is a robber and the grandma is a witch. And that horrible story, the heavenly wedding was renamed something different? Just the heavenly? Ooh. Right? Or maybe like the weird Jesus, weird virgin mary statue yeah and it was actually made into a horror movie where the priest was feeding the statue little kids little little wayward kids

oh my god i'd watch that movie that's it that's it oh okay i didn't watch that movie i would sit next to i would sit next to kelsey and car Caroline on the couch and keep my head buried in their shoulders while we laugh our asses off. And, well, they didn't all live, but some of them lived. Happily ever after. The end.