Fairy Tale Fix - 88: Fish Fitzgerald

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

Mermaids Ahoy! Kelsey kicks off MerMay 2024 with the Irish tale of Fish Fitzgerald…err…the Lady of Gollerus - about an unlucky merrow whose story was definitely written by a weird old man. Abbie follows up with the true Bangladeshi story of a Puri Enchantment, and we hope everyone’s doing ok.

I'm sorry, did I hear left leg of scissors or? Yeah. Like just the left part of the scissors. That is, oh, oh, okay. All right, that makes more sense. What were you thinking? Like if a person's left leg was scissors. No.

Edward Scissorlegs. Hello, listeners, and welcome back to Fairytale Fix, the show where we read classic fairy tales to each other and then fix them for a modern audience and mostly ourselves. I'm Abby. And I'm Kelsey. I am sick. I think Abby and I'm Kelsey. I am sick. I was sick. I don't know if it was the last episode or the one before that. It was the one before last episode. And now you're sick. How are you feeling? I'm feeling mostly fine. Mostly fine. Okay. Hopped up on Dayquil.

Exactly. I am hopped up on Dayquil to kind of get rid of the like last vestiges of viral plague within me. I still have a bit of a cough. So we will see. We will see how well I do. I probably should not talk very much at length. So I am going to turn it over to you. Excellent. To tell me what you've been up to. Because what I've been up to is lying on the couch and binge watching Sex in the City, which is on Netflix at the moment. Oh, Sex in the City. That's a good choice.

It honestly, it really is a great choice. I feel like that's one of those ones that are fun for me. I never got like super into it, but I feel like it's kind of a fun one to hate watch. Oh, absolutely. Like I've been, I know I said I wasn't going to talk a lot, but sex in the city is one of my favorite shows to rewatch. Yeah.

Because like, I am already so familiar with it. So there's a lot of nostalgia involved but also um it is it is kind of a fun re-hate watch uh and a very interesting like cultural artifact from the 90s it really is it's like so much of that is just i don't know old which I love because I feel like you know people are more like accepting and less homophobic less transphobic more like

lifting like women lifting other women up and being good friends and it's not all about your fucking relationship Carrie uh huh not always about you but it is about her. She's the main character.

That's true. And boy, oh boy, does the show know that. Uh-huh. I don't know. I've been seeing clips of Sex and the City on TikTok, which is very fun. Oh, that's fun. And all of them kind of pissed me off because she's such a bad friend. Yes.

Yeah. Carrie is a terrible friend but some of it was really like sex positive like uh totally this character so you know there's something to be said it's it's fun to watch regardless absolutely i mean and this is what i mean by like it's a really interesting cultural artifact because like in some ways like it's really regressive and like old-fashioned and yeah it's kind of conservative in its opinions. But conservative by 2024 standards. Very out there by late 90s standards.

Yep. In heterosexual circles. Yeah. standards yeah in in in heterosexual circles um yeah isn't that a wonderful thing to see like how far we've come in such a short amount of time and just the idea that things are going to continuously get more progressive and better and more i think anyway i i agree i think i think it's trending that way even though we are in a bit of like, we're having, we're having a scary moment in so many other ways. I don't want to dwell on that too much. Cause this is like a happy podcast, but generally,

yes, I do believe that things trend towards a more positive. Yeah. Hopefully social outcome. Hopefully. Yeah. You're right. And also I should,

I should edit sex in the city is an interesting cultural artifact of white heterosexual uh cis normative yep relationships um beautifully put but for that but for what it is it's i really enjoy re-watching it every every single time. I started watching The Mandalorian. Oh, okay. I mean, that's like, that's actually a good show. Yeah. It is good. And while I was watching it, though, I was really excited to tell you this in person. I had a revelation because it took me a really long time to get started. And I was watching it. And I was just thinking like thinking like man like i like star wars is such a rich story it's so good and it's like very and i'm just sitting there watching it honestly the first episode was so boring i had such a hard

time getting through the first half of the first episode it was you know just like setting stuff up oh yeah politics and like they don't like this money because it's forged from the empire or whatever and it's just like oh my god i don't care i mean it's got it's got a lot of um like prequel prequel energy where they were talking about like the trade federation and stuff for like many many hours yes and i was just like, God, I don't care. Pull out the lightsabers, start shooting things. That's what I'm here for. Honestly, I was sold once they showed us the Blurgs. I was like, finally, a weird animal that looks like a deep sea fish creature that you can ride around. We actually started watching it because we're going to Disneyland soon because I guess we're Disney adults and that's just what we do. But embrace it.

I don't care. It's fun. And I was like, man, if I don't get to ride a blurb around like like pony rides at a carnival when I go to Disneyland, I'm going to be pissed because that's all I want. That sounds amazing. I want to That sounds amazing. I want to ride a blurb around in a circle. Like a better pony at the fair. But anyway,

I have this revelation because I was thinking about it a lot. I'm like, why do I like, Oh, and I think one of the things I said to Adam was like, you know, why does this show get three seasons or whatever? And Rings of Power, of course, I mean, I think they're coming out with another one, but I'm just pissed that there's less like fantasy stuff. I mean, there's fantasy stuff, but I feel like less. And when I said that,

I was thinking about like why they're both such rich stories. They're really actually kind of similar. You know what it is, Abby? What is it? Do you know why I don't like sci-fi as much or like space? Uh-oh. Why? Because I don't think it's pretty. There's not enough trees. It's not green.

I'm just a druid and I hate the desert and like vast amounts of nothing. And snow. I hate snow snow that was another thing um when i was playing uh skyrim i was in the snow and i like i went to the magic school or whatever and i was like man i just hate being in the snow and that's why i left and adam's like you don't like the snow in real life and you don't like it in games you don't you won't even like you won't even tough it out in a video game i hate being in the snow in this game this is stupid i'm leaving oh my god i love you i want it to be lush and feel i want to be in a forest i think that's why i love like the ewoks so much in star wars like yeah like there's a lot of planets that have like that lush rainforest you feel, but I think that's why I gravitate toward fantasy more than like sci-fi stuff.

Oh, I think that makes so much sense. Cause you're, you're right. Like a lot of, especially like a lot of like hard sci-fi. Cause I would, I would definitely put star Wars in a sci-fi fantasy category.

Yeah. Cause it's like, it's about space wizards for the most part that's so wizard that's so wizard but you're totally right that like a lot of hard sci-fi um is very stark and usually takes place on spaceships with a lot of metal and there's a lot of like it's it's and a lot of it is sort of like ultra modern and set in like ugly ugly sci-fi like future cities yep um fantasy is prettier generally like yeah everything about it natural like and it just fills my little druid heart with uh joy so i joy. I think that's the reason.

And I thought you would enjoy hearing that. I enjoy knowing that and thinking about it because now if I come across some sci-fi that I think is aesthetically very beautiful, we can test that out. Yeah. And see if that's it. We'll do it.

We'll test it. Yeah. I i mean i do like robots and stuff so it's it just depends it's just i don't know i i think it's very much the like they're in a desert forever i don't know i don't like looking at it i guess and it's easier to film probably which maybe that's why there's more i I don't know if there's more. I don't know. You're not wrong. It tends to be a theme. It tends to be a theme in sci-fi of like desert planets.

I think that's why I'm a fantasy nerd and not a space nerd. Or I also think that we have a very like, you know, a very pessimistic outlook about the future generally. And so we always imagine the future um or or any time period in which we've achieved space flight as sort of like desolation has happened yes absolutely and that just makes me sad yeah i want that okay this is interesting and pretty waterfalls and loads of animals that's why the

blurbs as soon as they came i was like great now and there was a robot and that was fun and now there's like little baby yoda which i didn't really get any of the references before that i had no idea what the mandalorian was about oh but you knew about like the baby yoda yeah i knew baby yoda existed but i didn't know why or what for and i was like all right whatever and now i'm obsessed because it is like the cutest thing so fucking cute right you now know why people kind of lost their minds a little bit now i know i'm just coming to this i like to wait and be excited about things years after it's not popular anymore for some reason i mean i love it because that gives me an excuse to to re-love that thing

and to be like oh yeah that was cool let's enjoy it again oh my gosh it was so he's so cute i love it i've been enjoying it very much i didn't even realize it was pedro pascal was the mandalorian either i just spaced on that whole thing i spaced on the whole thing for some reason so anyway i'm just getting into that and now um because we're watching it together so i can't watch the mandalorian just on my own plus it's a little slower so it's not something that i feel like i want to binge and like obviously i can't fall asleep to it so i've also been watching xena warrior princess yes i love that show it's's so good. Oh my gosh. How are you watching it? Is it streaming somewhere?

Yeah, it's streaming on Amazon Prime. Fuck yeah. I got a Prime membership specifically so I could watch it. Did you watch it when it was coming out? Or is this like, okay. Yeah, I watched it as a kid. I only recently started watching it. Oh, so you don't even have any nostalgia attached to it?

I don't have any nostalgia attached to it, and I'm still like, this is great. That's a testament to how good it is. Yes. Lucy Lawless. I feel bad. I actually don't know Gabrielle, the actress's name, but- I don't know her name either. She's pretty, though.

And she's very funny. So pretty. So funny. The show is so cheesy. I love it. It's so fucking good. It's, um,

it's amazing. I've been enjoying it so much. So, and that's the one I can watch and like kind of fall asleep too. Cause it's like, it doesn't really matter what happens. It doesn't matter. Yeah.

Nothing. Everything resets by the beginning of the next episode. Who cares? Yeah. It's a feel good. Just feel good. yeah nothing everything resets by the beginning of the next episode who cares yeah it's a feel good just feel good fun show lucy lawless uh make that like uh yodeling noise and everybody's so hot oh my god everyone's so fucking sexy on that show at least all the women are really sexy the men do look a little weird some of them but also some of them are really hot yeah yeah oh and then i think aries is my favorite character oh i don't know if aries has come up yet when he does he is such a like mustache twirling asshole and it's so wonderful. Perfect.

With a flair for the dramatic. I'm in love. He's a bad man but I'm in love with him. He's a bad man. Yeah. I haven't watched it in a really long time. Like I watched it when I was a kid and I remember like the basics but I don't remember like specifics

so I'm excited. Oh good. Oh good. I'm excited to hear i'm excited to hear more anyways that's excellent choices so it's mermaid hooray hooray for mermaid happy mermaid so obviously this episode on my end anyway is going to be all about mermaids. Oh, I also picked some mermaid stories. Perfect. Okay. I have two mermaid stories I might read.

It depends on how long the first one goes. But I found it while I was looking for some Irish fairy tales. Ooh, okay. So this story involves the marrowrow, which I think the last time I talked about the Marrow was on a bonus episode. I think it was like for like last mermaids bonus episode. So if you are not familiar, the Marrow is the Irish mermaid and they're very cool. They obviously live in the ocean and they have a special hat that lets them walk around or cap rather. It lets them walk,

walk around on land like they're humans. When it's not specifically like the men, like the men have a special cat. Like there's two kinds of mermaids. Like there's a marrow and then like the kind of more like pretty fish lady. Yes. But I feel like the story kind of more like pretty fish lady yes but i feel like the story kind of trumps that trope a little maybe that was too much of a hint for you i feel like some female versions also have their caps and if a human gets the cap you can go

underwater and like breathe underwater essentially so you could go with the marrow and be underwater and go check out their cool underwater castle and stuff like that. Yeah. So, um, if you want a bigger background, I am sure the fairy tellers have an episode all about the marrow that tell you everything you need to know.

Um, or if you're a patron, uh, you can check out that bonus episode, but that just gives you a little bit of background for the story. And this story is called the lady of galaris by t croft and croker and it's from a treasury of irish and very uh irish fairy and folktales so abby with that amazing hint that i gave you there it's a lady marrow give me a give me a prediction or give me three predictions

prediction number one there's a lady marrow okay a lady marrow i'm gonna give that to you because you're sick thank you uh what's your second prediction i I deserve it. I'm unwell. Mm-hmm. My second prediction is this is an origin story. Origin story? Okay. For like a landmark or something. And my third prediction is the protagonist breaks a very important rule. Always a good oh my gosh that's such a good prediction.

Breaks a rule. Okay. As they do. As they do. Because otherwise we wouldn't have a story. Yeah right. Alright. The Lady of Galaris. On the shore of Smirik Harbor one fine summer's morning just at

daybreak stood Dickzgerald sawing the dudine which may be translated to smoking his pipe oh okay i know i have no idea if i said that right so sawing the dudine yeah i don't know smoking his pipe the sun was gradually rising behind the lofty brandon the dark sea was gradually rising behind the lofty Brandon. The dark sea was getting green in the light and the mist clearing away out of the valleys went rolling and curling like the smoke from the corner of Dick's mouth. Beautiful imagery. Beautiful. Gorgeous.

tis just the pattern of a pretty morning said dick taking the pipe from between his lips and looking toward the distant ocean which lay as still and tranquil as a tomb of polished marble well to be sure it's not nice well to be sure continued he after a pause tis mighty lonesome to be talking to oneself by way of company and not to have another soul to answer one. Nothing but the child of one's own voice. The echo. I know this, that if I had the luck or maybe the misfortune, said Dick with a melancholy smile, to have the woman, it would not be this way with me. And what in the wide world is a man without a wife. He's no more surely than a bottle without a drop of drink in it or dancing without music or a left leg of scissors or a fishing line without a hook or

any other matter that is no ways complete. Is it not so? He's lonely. He's lonely. He's lonely. Casting his eyes toward a rock upon the strand, which though it could not speak, stood up as firm and looked as bold as ever Carrie did witness.

So he's in Carrie. Okay, cool. Good to know. But what is his astonishment at beholding just at the foot of that rock? A beautiful young creature combing her hair. Of course. of course which was of sea green color and now the salt water shining on it appeared in the morning light like melted butter upon cabbage which is so fucking hilarious and seems like it might be a little problematic if it weren't an irish person writing it

exactly like if a non-irish person had written that i would have been a like wow stereotypes for sure i love that so much and it makes me crave cabbage okay dick guessed it once that she was a marrow although he had never seen one before for he spied the kahulin drift or the Little Enchanted Cap, which the sea people use for diving down into the ocean, lying upon the strand near her. And he had heard

that if once he could possess himself the cap, she would lose the power of going in the way into the water. So he seized it with all his speed. Like you do. And she, hearing the noise, turned her head about as natural as any Christian. So I guess she looks like a human. She moves like a human.

Yeah, maybe like taking the cap makes her more human-ish. Oh, yeah. That's kind of what I get from that. Nice. Nice, Oh, yeah. That's kind of what I get from that. Nice. Nice, nice, nice. When the marrow saw that her little diving cap was gone, the salt tears, doubly salt, no doubt, from her

came trickling down her cheeks. She began a low, mournful cry with just the tender voice of a newborn infant. Which is kind of weird. Ew. Dick. Okay, and you want to take her home and make her your wife, I bet, probably. Which is kind of weird. Ew. Dick. Okay, and you want to take her home and make her your wife, I bet.

Probably. What is that? They only want you if you look like a newborn baby. Ew. Dick, although he knew well enough what she was crying for, determined to keep the cap.

Let her cry never so much to see what luck would come of it. Yet he could not help pity love her. most of his countrymen, and mighty tender heart of his own. So, he feels bad. Again, I love him for cat. He feels bad for doing a bad thing. Oh, I'm glad. So, at least he feels bad about it. He's not going to not do it, though. No, he wants that cat. I mean, it's probably pretty valuable and exciting plus this

girl has to follow you home now uh-huh yeah dick is a dick but dick feels bad and he says don't cry my darling little dick and dick fitzgerald but the marrow like any bold child only cried more for that dick sat himself down by her side and took hold of her hand by way of comforting her twas a no particular and ugly hand but there was a small web between the fingers as like on a duck's foot but twas thin and as white as the skin between egg and shell. Oh, I mean, that's that's cool detail about her hand. Yeah, it's very cool. But also, I hate that he steals your hat and then says and like knowing that that traps are with them and goes, oh, don't cry, baby.

Oh, baby, it's all right. It's all right. I'm a nice guy i'm a nice guy just let me sit down and hold your hand and you'll get over it i hope she gets her hat back and drowns him oh my god that's the fix what's your name my darling says dick thinking to make her conversant with him but he got no answer and he was certain now either that she could not speak or did not understand him. He therefore squeezed her hand in his as only the way he had of talking to her. It's the universal language, and there's not a woman in the world, be her a fish or a lady, that does not understand it.

Yeah, no, she understands it. I think she understands what's happening. I think she gets it the marrow did not i don't think you understand what you're okay but take a beat and also just it hasn't been said but i'm pretty sure dick is really hot so and if he's really hot it's okay so just keep that in the back of your head okay is this your way of telling me to calm

down and stop interrupting you no i love it so much all right i'm gonna take a deep breath preparing you for disappoint for maybe a little bit of disappointment it's you know it's fine if as we all make the best of these situations as they come so no judgment on the mermaid. No judgment. She maybe sort of is kind of into it. I think she was really upset and now she's like, he's squeezing my hand. He's squeezing my hand and he's cute. The marrow did not seem much displeased at this mode of conversation and making an end of her whining all at once a man definitely wrote this man says she looking up at dick's face

man will you eat me oh okay i mean what does she mean by that oh my she yeah i think she's really scared for a minute i've been watching way too much sex in the city and i love this by all the red petticoats and check aprons between dingle and triley cried dick jumping up in amazement I have no idea what any of that means, but I love it. By God, says Dick, jumping up in amazement. I'd as soon eat myself, my jewel. Is it I eat you, my pet? Now, t'was some ugly, ill-looking thief of a fish put that notion into your own pretty head with the nice green hair down upon it that is so cleanly combed out this morning. He's like, of course I'm not gonna eat you. Did some horrible man, did some awful man tell you that I was going to eat you? Yeah, some awful guy.

Some guy who's not me. Because I'm not awful. Of course I'm not, baby. Man. I wouldn't do that to you. All I would do is make it so you can't go home. And then talk to you like you're a child. Yep.

Man, said the marrow, what will you do with me if you don't eat me? Dick's thoughts were running on a wife. I'm sure they are. He saw at first glimpse that she was handsome but she spoke and she spoke to like any real woman he was fairly in love with her twas the neat way she called him man that she settled the matter entirely so he's man it really is cringy i feel like this was romantic when I first read it. Now I'm like, oh, no. It's terrible. And so he calls her man.

So he says, fish, says Dick, trying to speak to her after her own short fashion. Fish, here's my word, fresh and fasting for you this blessed morning, that I'll make you Mistress Fitzgerald before all the world and that's what I'll do. Fish Fitzgerald. Never say the word twice, says she. I'm ready and willing to be yours,

Mr. Fitzgerald, but stop, if you please, till I twist up my hair. It was some time before she had settled it entirely to her liking for she guessed,

I suppose, that she was going among strangers where she would be looked at all right this really is written by a man she took way too fucking long to do her hair so fucking long to do her hair now that she's some guy's like bride and meeting people that ladies are always primping themselves okay when that was done the marrow put the comb in her pocket and then bent her head down and whispered some words to the water that was close to the foot of the rock dick saw the murmur of the words upon the top of the sea going out toward

the wide ocean just like a breath of wind rippling along and says he in the greatest wonder is it speaking you are my darling to the salt water it's nothing else says she quite carelessly i'm just sending word home to my father not to be waiting breakfast for me just to keep him from being uneasy in his mind and who's your father my duck says dick duck he's changed he didn't like fish and now he's on duck. You know, he's on ducks. Yep. Ducks like water, right? What? said the marrow. Did you never hear of my father? He's the king of the waves to be sure. And yourself then is a real king's daughter, said Dick, opening his two eyes to take a full and true survey of his wife that was to be. Opening his two, where his a full and true survey of his wife that was to be opening his two where his eyes

closed like his eyes brightened or yeah it's just descriptive language Abby damn it's descriptive language yeah oh fine oh I'm nothing else but a man to be made with you and a king your father It's descriptive language. Yeah. Oh, fine. Oh, I'm nothing else but a man to be made with you and a king, your father, to be sure, has all the money that's down in the bottom of the sea.

Money, repeated the marrow. What's money? Like any princess. What's money? Like any hippo baby. Tis no bad thing to have when one wants it, replied Dig. And maybe now the fishers have the understanding to bring up whatever you bid them oh yes said the marrow they'll bring me what i want to speak the truth then says dick tis a straw bet i have at home before you by the way i'm super fucking poor and'm thinking, is no way a fitting for a king's daughter.

So if it would not be displeasing to you just to mention a nice feather bed with a new pair of blankets, what am I talking about? Maybe you have not had such things down under the water. Yeah, dude, come on. At least it came to him. By all means, she said, Mr. fitzgerald plenty of beds at your service i have 14 oyster beds of my own not to mention one just planting for the rearing of young ones whoa okay well you know i mean she moves fast she's just ready she's she's like eh you know this will do she's like all right all right it's totally giving me mr fry do go on do go on when he falls

in love with the mermaid yep and fry is just like literally the worst like human that you could ever find and she's just like fascinated because he's different because it's okay you know what it's making me like thinking about it in that context just making me like the story more 14 oyster beds i wonder is an oyster bed comfortable i mean because probably maybe if it was one big oyster with like a meaty bottom and that might be soft. But if it's made up of a bunch of little oysters, like the actual size. Linked together. Yeah, that's true.

Because at first I was just thinking that it's like, well, you know, you're under the water, so everything's already wet, you know? Yeah. So like an oyster would be really soft. Yeah. Maybe they have like giant ones or something. Yeah. But then they're sleeping on like a dead animal. Unless they're alive.

I don't know. I mean, you know, people skin bears and have like bear rugs and stuff. You know what? Fair. You know, we sleep like people sleep on dead animals all the time yeah okay okay it's considered people wear dead animals around it's considered luxurious that's true she's got 14 oyster beds and not to mention one just planting for the rearing of which is so good okay you have says dick scratching his head and looking a little puzzled

tis a feather bed i was speaking of but clearly yours is the very cut of a decent plan to have a bed and supper so handy to each other that a person when they'd have one they never need to other. So he's like, you can sleep in it and eat it? And eat it. Genius. What? However, bed or no bed, money or no money, Dick Fitzgerald determined to marry the Marrow, and the Marrow had given her consent.

Fair. She did. You have her hat. She can't go home. She could have said no. Maybe he would have felt bad and given it back. Maybe. This still feels coerced to me. That's also fair.

But away they went, therefore across the strand from Galaris to Balin Runnig, where Father Fitzgibbon happened to be that morning. Fitzgibbon. I love that name. There are two words to this bargain, Dick Fitzgerald, said his reverence, looking mighty glum. And is it a fishy woman you'd marry?

A fishy woman. The Lord Puservus, send the scaly creature home to her own people. That's my advice to you, wherever she came from. Dick had the cap in his hand and was about to give it back to the marrow, who looked covetously at it. But he thought for a moment, then, says he, please, your reverence, she's a king's daughter. If she was the daughter of 50 kings, said Father Fitzgibbon, I tell you, you can't be marrying her. She being a fish. Please, your reverence, said Dickett. Finally, someone's talking sense in this story.

But Dickett finds her so hot. You don't understand, Father. She's so pretty. She is as mild and as beautiful as the moon if she was as mild and beautiful as the sun moon and stars all put together i tell you dick fitzgerald said the priest stamping his right foot you can't marry her her being a fish but she has all the gold that's down in the sea for only the asking and i'm a made man if i marry her and said dick looking up slyly i can make it worth anyone's while to do the job oh that alters the case entirely replied god of course it does

why there's reason now in what you say why didn't you tell me this before marry her by all means if she was 10 times a fish money you know is not to be refused in these bad times maybe would not take as half the pains in counseling you that i would have done i don't really know what that last half of that sentence is but but... I don't know what that means. The priest is in. Of course he is, for money. Oh, you're going to give me money. Oh, you'll give me money. That changes everything.

You can marry a fish then. Yeah. So Father Fitzgibbon married Dick Fitzgerald to the marrow, and like any loving couple, they returned to Galaris well pleased with each other everything prospered with Dick he was at the sunny side of the world the marrow made the best of wives and they lived together in the greatest contentment it was wonderful to see considering where she had been brought up how she would busy herself about the house and how well she nursed the children for at the end of three years there

were as many young fitzgerald two boys and a girl oh oh fish kids fish kids i want to know about half marrows can they like what do they look like yeah i'm so curious i'm curious if this works kind of like selkies where like the kids are human. Yeah. I think they're more human. Probably. But that would be cool if they were like half marrow and could go swimming. They'd call it to the sea.

Mm-hmm. In short, Dick was a happy man. And so he might have continued to the end of his days if he had only the sense to take proper care of what he had got. Oh, they never do. Many another man, however, beside Dick, has not had wit enough to do that. The story is very self-aware. It's pretty meta. So meta. It's funny because you just said that.

It's so meta. It's funny because he just said that. One day when Dick was obliged to go to Trierley, he left the wife minding the children at home after him and thinking she had plenty to do without him disturbing his fishing tackle. Dick was no sooner gone than Mrs. Fitzgerald set about cleaning up the house and chancing to pull down a fishing net. What should she find behind it? In a hole in the wall, but her own

cap. Which it says the Cahulene Druith. Her magic. For the cap, but I don't know how to say it. I feel like I'm saying it wrong. Probably. Her magic hat. She found it. And she So it's magic hat. Okay. Her magic hat.

She found it. And she took it out and looked at it. And then she thought of her father, the king, and her mother, the queen, and her brothers and sisters, and she felt a longing to go back to them. Of course she does. Hmm. Hmm. Now that she's not being coerced into stay, huh? Huh.

It's almost like as soon as she gets her hat back, she wants to go home. Interesting. Now that she has the choice. Yeah. Now that she has the option. Interesting. She sat down on a little stool and thought over the happy days she had had spent under the sea then she looked at her children and thought of the love and affection of poor dick

and how it would break his heart to lose her but says she cares he won't lose me entirely for i'll come back to him and who can blame me for going to see my father and mother after being away so long from them. Okay. All right. She got up. Solid reasoning. Yeah, totally. I'm with her. I also do like that.

We are getting, this is kind of a, a break from sort of the traditional pattern of this story where we're getting a little bit of her thoughts. Yeah. She's torn. Yeah. And that she doesn't tend to come back at least right now. Yep.

Interesting. Okay. Interesting. Okay. Okay. She got up and went toward the door, but came back again to look once more at the child that was sleeping in the cradle. She kissed it gently, and as she kissed it, a tear trembled for an instant in her eye and then fell on its rosy cheek. She wiped away the tear and, turning to the eldest little girl, told her to take good care of her brothers and to be a good child herself until she came back. Wow. That kid cannot be older than two.

I know, right? It's been just under three years. That is too early to parentify the eldest daughter. Take care of your brothers. Yeah. It's probably just like, I was about to say, it makes me think of how I tell my cat to take care of your brothers yeah probably just like i was about to say it makes me think of how i tell my cat to take care of the house or like i leave cheval and i was like be a good girl be a good girl don't do anything i want to do

oh gosh it's really different i'm sorry i don't have kids my cat is not my daughter it's fine well no but i think i think the i think a a pet and a two-year-old child have like roughly the same like ability to manage a household you know yeah oh you know what fair yeah you're right i feel like that's her just being like she knows knows she's not coming back, even though she's like, I'm coming back. I'm coming back. Oh, so she means like, you know, over the ensuing decades, take care of your little brothers. Take care of your little brothers. Have that echo in your ears forever and ever.

Okay. Oh, God. And to be a good child herself until she came back the marrow then went down to the strand the sea was lying calm and smooth just heaving and glittering in the sun and she thought she heard a faint sweet singing inviting her to come down all her old ideas and feelings came flooding over her mind dick and her children were at the instant forgotten and placing the cap on her head, she plunged in. Dick came home in the evening

and missing his wife, he asked Kathleen, his little girl, who has a name, would have become of her mother, but she could not tell him because she's two. Two.

He then inquired of the neighbors and he learned that she was seen going toward the strand with a strange-looking thing like a cocked hat in her hand. He returned to his cabin to search for the cap, but it was gone, and the truth now flashed upon him. Year after year did Dick Fitzgerald wait, expecting the return of his wife, but never did he see her more. wait expecting the return of his wife, but never did he see her more. Dick never married again, always thinking that the marrow would sooner or later return to him and nothing could ever persuade him, but that her father, the king kept her below by a main force. For, said Dick, she surely would not give herself up or her husband and her children. While she was with him, she was so good a wife in every respect that to this day, she is spoken of in the tradition of the country as the pattern for one under the name of the Lady

Galaris. The end. The last part. She was such a good and compliant wife. You should be more like Lady Galaris. Be more like Lady Galaris. She was the like lady galaris she was the perfect wife but she was the perfect wife and as soon as she had a choice she made her choice she fucking left she was like bye bitch like hi i didn't actually want to marry you yeah i mean and it's even even even the fact that it's like you know she looks at the kids and she and she's like oh i'll come back i'll come back i'm not really leaving them i'm i'll come back and then like as soon as she gets back to the water she's forgets all about them like yeah oh i feel like that's like okay so we decided there's like right three types of mermaids the tragic mermaid the evil scary mermaid and then the hype girl mermaid yes

this was a tragic mermaid yeah this is definitely one of like yeah the tragic mermaids it was a lot more romantic when i read it without your commentary the first time so i love that you really got in there and was like wow actually this is super problematic because it really was I mean just right from the jump like I mean there are romantic elements of it and I do like that we get a little

of her perspective on how hard it is to leave after all that time and that she did like think he was handsome and like they had a good enough life together but also yeah they're just like undercurrents in the story of it wasn't her people it wasn't like yeah and she's not there because she she's not there because he asked her straight out. Mm-hmm.

If she wanted to be there, like he stole her hat and like by the rules of like magic. Yeah. She has to stay. So like he asks her to marry him, but like, what is, what is she going to do?

Like if she doesn't know. Yeah. And she's also like scared to death that he's gonna eat her exactly and i really hated the very beginning where like he takes her hat and she starts sobbing because he's essentially taken her prisoner yep and his response is to think like wow she's blubbering like a literal child. I guess I feel kind of bad, but like not bad enough to not kidnap her. Yeah.

Anyway, dick is a dick. So here's the I feel like this would be a perfect opportunity in our future book for a choose your own fairy tale fix. your own fairy tale fix. Romantic ending is that it changes in the middle where like he plays with her and offers her hat back and they have a little bit of a back and forth. And maybe

she still ends up leaving. I mean, it's such a perfect mermaid tragic ending. I kind of love it. I do like the sadness of the ending and like the mixed feelings. Oh, Kelsey, the mixed feelings. Oh, Kelsey, I love that idea of maybe, like, he does genuinely feel bad. And so he gives her her hat back and she stays for, like, long enough for the children to be born. But then she, like, leaves.

And then it just, like, washes over her and the magic of her having her cat back and being where she really belongs. That's kind of like a beautiful, tragic ending and then gets rid of the whole like, wow, it was horrible to begin with. But then the second ending obviously is the first thing you said where I think she finds the cap. And then instead she like hides at the strand like at the beach for him and he goes and he's like you came back to me and then she fucking drowns yep 100% and then she and then I don't know either she abandons the kids or she stays to raise them or whatever I don't um or the kids are like half marrow and they can come down to live under the sea with her i know i feel like that would be amazing yeah that'd be cool yeah i feel like

we've mentioned that fix in some other similar fairy tales in the past where it's like oh can't the kids at least go yeah i feel like when we've done selkie stories before because like you know selkie stories are always like i remember there was one i think we read one where like the mother like leaves like little gifts for her children yeah like throughout the rest of their lives and that's like it's just so fucking sad that they can't come with her all right you got uh you got two points good job you got it was a lady marrow and you got that the protagonist breaks the rule because although she didn't like tell him like he knew though like he i mean because he already knew the rule before meeting her that like if you take the cap yeah like you the lady can't go back out to see yeah so he knows the rule that's kind of a fun uh

like difference between this story and other ones that are similar and that she wasn't like but you can never give me back my robe or you know what i mean like yeah you can never let me see the cap because i know what will happen i feel like she didn't even know what I mean like yeah you can never let me see the cat because I know what will happen I feel like she didn't even know what would happen when she got it back oh that's so sad like her giving her daughter like

a kiss goodbye and like her tears are like welling up but she's like I'll be back oh it's so sad that is so sad yeah I mean I do I do like i'm like love the the tragedy i know it's so good and like it would have been better if she had really loved um dick if he if they had been more amicable yeah or if she had been like resisting the urge to go back for years and finally like is like, I can pop down for a quick visit. Yeah.

You know? And then I want more stories about her living down there. And so cool. I love it. Me too. If you know, oh, okay. A third option. Mm hmm. if you you know oh okay a third option he takes her hat and they have um you know a playful back and forth about where they should live because like him taking her hat like as far as she's concerned they're already married now yeah because because that that's like how it works yeah and then they have a back and forth about like oh well i think you should actually you can come live with me you took my hat which means you

can breathe underwater now oh yeah that'd be cool that like you want to see the sea king's palace for yourself and sleep in my oyster bed that's why i love i can't remember what the story was I loved the one we did where it was like a man marrow. Mm-hmm. And they were like- Buddies. Buddies. And he goes down with them and helps save a bunch of souls or something. Mm-hmm.

Man, the marrow is the coolest bit of folklore ever. It's really interesting. If you have a, if you have a chance, definitely look up stuff about the marrow or I don't know. Give us $6 and go listen to our patron episode about it. It's a great story. It's $6 of a pay for my latte that I buy every day.

I have a problem. Ever since I started working, not from home, I like have to buy coffee have a problem. Ever since I started working not from home, I like have to buy coffee in the morning. It's... Who has time to make it? It's ridiculous. And it tastes better when somebody else makes it. It does. It's true. I don't have an espresso machine. Okay. The story I am going to tell you today is very, very short. And it's kind of a, like, sort of like a stream of consciousness, like narrative. Okay. um the word is puri p-u-r-i and uh because you gave me such a great hint um a puri is a um

like indian water spirit okay and's like the story's like two paragraphs long okay so should i just do like one prediction yeah i would only do one prediction okay about a puri enchantment oh my god i don't know what to predict and i'm reading it from the penguin book of mermaids okay i predict that i feel like i'm gonna copy you but i feel like there's a broken rule. Ooh, okay. A broken rule. That's my prediction. I love it. Okay. So geography corner real quick.

Ooh, hell yeah. The story is from Bangladesh, which is a country that's located in between India and Myanmar. So it's sort of like it's still on sort of like the Indian Ocean. It's sort of tucked back up towards sort of like the northeast of India. And it's in the Bay of Bengal. And then India is to the west and myanmar is to the east and then uh bhutan uh borders it to the well actually no bhutan borders myanmar um bangladesh is just kind of like kind of a scrunched little country sort of smushed between india and myanmar okay it looks good like it's got a huge river running right in the center of it. Yeah. Huge river.

Assam. Is that the river name? I'm looking at a map. I'm seeing the Padma that flows into the Megha? Megha? Oh, yeah. Megha River. Okay.

Yeah. Padma River. And then it kind of changes when it goes off yeah but yeah lots of river cool yeah like it's very big like if you look at the surrounding areas there's not a river that's nearly as big as that no like this must be a huge river um so everything's very wet yep which so that was why it does not surprise me that uh water spirits abound in bangladesh mm-hmm beautiful i bet this story is specifically from the east kasi hills which are more towards the myanmar side they're like actually like they're pretty much right at the border

or maybe more to the middle i don't know the google maps is confusing me but anyway so this is a story from east kasi hills and it's actually like it's a the note ahead of it is a family narrative as told by an anonymous interlocutor in east kasi hills about an event that occurred in the autumn of 2009. Ooh, this is like a recent story. A recent folk tale. Mm-hmm. Interesting. Yeah. 2009, I had already graduated high school. We had already graduated

high school. We had already graduated high school when this person told this story. Okay. There's still magic out there to this day. There really is. Okay, so this story is told very casually. So and it's very, it's told sort of just like in a very casual. I know this guy kind of way.

So the story goes like it. So Kinsai went fishing or for a picnic. Don't remember which with his friends. And when they were driving back to shillong he asked his friends to stop near a small stream in the east kasi hills to go pee but he never came back his friends searched for him everywhere but couldn't find him it was really late and when they couldn't find him they came home and they informed kinside's family that's the next day yep very scary like he just wanders off and and they cannot find him no matter how hard they search.

He's just gone. Mm-hmm. So they think he's dead. They tell his family he's dead. This is now a true crime podcast. Mm-hmm. Jeez. I mean, well.

The next day, he was found by the villagers near the river without any clothes on completely naked is he dead he's not dead oh thank goodness yeah he's alive um but naked naked by the river and he keeps saying that's still very scary yeah like it's super scary because like he he suddenly turns back up but thank goodness he's alive what is he saying he keeps saying that someone was calling for him to go toward the river he couldn't remember what had happened he was awakened by the villagers and it was only then that he realized he was naked. They cover him up and contacted his family to come pick him up. Ever since then, he always gets possessed, even when he's at home or out drinking with friends, like a split personality thing.

Oh, interesting. Mm-hmm. Or, so, okay. But it's just when he's drinking? Nope, not just when he's drinking. It says that like even when he's like the person telling the story says even when he's at home or drinking with friends, he just, it's a split personality. Like he just, sometimes he just gets possessed. Interesting.

Will just become a totally different person. He becomes super violent and he's fighting the spirit. Oh, that's scary. Mm-hmm. No names, please. It's in the family, so I don't want to be named. Even Kinsai, for that matter, does not want to be named. Now I don't know.

But now he's married to another lady and he has a son, so he's not as conflicted and depressed as he was before. But alcohol still makes him a little crazy and he keeps mentioning that the puri is from the village of his first wife but please do not mention the village name the end that was really interesting i I thought so, too. That makes me want to do a whole, like, Reddit thread folktale, like, modern folktale episode. Mm-hmm. Me, too.

Like, I'm trying to find, like, stories told within the past, like, 20, 30 years or something like that. Mm-hmm. That's kind of what I imagined what our listener tales could turn into if we had time at all to do that yeah that was a cute idea that we had uh when we were so ambitious i guess yeah well and i was also like lockdown was still in effect we just had more time i feel like there's really no answers to that, though. No, I mean, the thing is, and this is me putting on sort of like my cynical hat, is he's an alcoholic. He becomes a totally different person when he drinks.

Like, alcohol makes him a little crazy. He was very unhappy. different person when he drinks like alcohol makes him a little crazy he was very unhappy um you know he he is now married to someone else and has a kid and he's feeling better so he doesn't like lash out the same way yeah and like the idea that the water was calling to him yeah that's the come up other than the first part nope that was just and that's just his explanation for what happened. Like, but it's also, it could be that like, maybe he's like, yep. To me, it seems like kind of a classic case of like using folktale and folklore to explain like someone's antisocial behavior.

Yeah. antisocial behavior yeah but also i do like the spooky elements of like he disappeared and they couldn't find him and he woke up naked and he thought someone was calling to him well and folklore has like traditionally explained odd behavior for forever i mean since people were telling stories i think that's kind of the beauty of folklore absolutely one that also like a lot of the fixes for demonic possession um or possession by a puri you know and the and the fixes for like dealing with someone who's having like a psychotic episode or honestly it sounds like it came straight from reddit it does a little bit i'm i'm it's curious that the penguin book of mermaids included that well i mean to me it sounds like it sounds like the kind of story that like

someone might just tell you if you're traveling around yeah and you and just kind of like tell me what's what's the gossip like tell me tell me like what's up with that guy and then they'll tell you what's up with that guy he got possessed by a puri don't mention names don't mention the village name don't mention his name don't mention my name you didn't hear this from me uh-huh um so that's the other element of it that i really like is that it's like it's it's just it's gossip like and it's gossip from the east cassie hills because i just read an irish folk tale it makes me think of like the um like leprechauns and stuff being like tell me a tale tell me a story or else.

You're like, oh my God, here's one. This guy is a real nut when he's drinking. He ended up naked on the beach. I love that. Gotta love that. It's good stuff. It is a good story. Yeah, so I also just enjoy just kind of getting, I think that's what I it's good stuff it is a good story yeah so i also just enjoy just kind of getting i think that's what i also just liked about it was just like oh random tea from 2009

bangladesh yep about this guy it's giving it's kind of making me think of i met a i can't remember where or when this was but i met a highway patrolman and i was like man i bet you've got some great stories and he's like yeah definitely and i'm like tell me one and he tells me the most but i mean it wasn't nearly as good as that it's like the most awkward he told me about how like he was basically telling me about how a woman who was on drugs was like basically naked and he had to arrest her and it was like that i mean i feel like i told it better than he did but it was just now but i was like really that's the best story you got somebody was on drugs that's the best you could come up with you could see upper skirt it was kind of weird

well i mean yep that's i know you've got better stories You could see up her skirt. It was kind of weird. Well, I mean, yep. I know you've got better stories than that. Interesting. That can't be the most exciting or weirdest thing that's happened is a highway patrol. Right. Whatever. Oh, no. You sure you don't have something a little more Super Troopers?

Oh, my goodness. All all right i love it i think i definitely think we should do a reddit modern folktale i love stuff like you know like the creepypastas i love creepypastas yes i think they're so fun like i i feel like i've also seen and heard of some of them, but I actually don't know the stories. If you're interested in that, go check out Alluring. They have great episodes on all the cryptids, plus some modern cryptids. I think there's one that's like Siren Head. Oh, Siren Head. Yeah, and he's like a really, really tall kind of humanoid figure that walks

around but he's got a giant siren head okay it's all modern there's like all these you know cgi videos of him walking around and i just thought that was cool that is cool and i kind of want to know the story behind it but i don't like spend most of my time looking it up. Now I think maybe we should. That's what alluring is for is they'll do it. Oh, yeah. And I think we're done. I got zero points for that story.

There were no rules. There were no rules. You broke the rule of don't be, I don't know. Maybe stop drinking is a rule that he broke like wow so this only happens to you when you're drinking huh yeah maybe take the lesson maybe you should stop doing that

but anyhow thank you so much for listening to fairy tale fix if you enjoy the show please subscribe and you can leave us a review on apple or you can leave us a five-star review on Spotify. We really appreciate it and we love reading them. They're so much fun. If you love the show and want to support us and get extra episodes and other cool bonus content like stickers and sometimes merch and books and it depends on what lovely side of the world, You can learn all about that at fairytalefix.cash.

And again, like we mentioned earlier, it's about for what you would pay a latte per month. You can find us on Instagram at fairytalefixpod, and you can also email us your own cool folklore or fairy tales or nursery rhymes or whatever you like and other cool things at info at fairytalefixpod.com and if you're looking for the more romantic version of the ending of our story uh dick fitzgerald and the marrow oh also i'm just not realizing she never got a name oh yeah i'm just realizing that but the eldest daughter got a name. Oh, yeah. I'm just realizing that. But the eldest daughter got a name.

Uh-huh. So, the marrow, who had a name, had a little bit of a sexy back and forth with the cap, and he eventually offered to give it back to her, but she was actually super into it, and

they got married, and still had this super tragic ending, because why not? Why not? Why not? Delicious. And then if you want the more scary horror story version, everything happened exactly the same except for when she found his cap.

She waited at the strand at the beach for him to come look for her. And she wrapped him and pulled him underneath and drowned him. Fuck yeah. Brought the kids with her to her cool underwater palace because she's a fucking princess yeah god like why why live on land with this poor guy when the poor guy could come live with you on the dc or the third option that abby mentioned at the end was the dick Dick Fitzgerald went with her underwater because he can wear her cap and went and lived in the castle under the sea. Yeah. Makes more sense.

What's your fix? And Kinsai, I don't know. It got better. I don't know. I mean, it's a little weird to feel like to fix it because it's like this is a real person. Yeah. It's not really like an old folk tale. Yeah.

My fix for the story is I hope Kinsai is doing better out there. Yeah. I hope he's. For sure. I hope him and his wife and his kid and his ex-wife and whoever else are doing okay. Hell yeah. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

The end.