Fairy Tale Fix - 90: Doing Your Okayist

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

ROSES HAVE THORNS! Kelsey reads The Rose Elf from our favorite bisexual disaster, Hans Christian Andersen, which starts off like a true fairy tale and then takes a sharp turn toward horror story. Abbie gets argumentative and reads African folk tale The Contest of Riddles, giving listeners the opportunity to argue amongst themselves whether or not Kelsey got any points or not for her predictions.

To have the confidence of a mediocre white man. Of a mediocre white man. The dream. This is also partially what we should all be trying to work on. That's very Greta Gremlin of him, actually. It's very Greta. Honestly, that's Greta Gremlin. Hello, listeners. Welcome to Fairy Tale Fix. I'm Abbey. I'm Kelsey.

And this is the podcast where we read each other classic fairy and folktales and, quote unquote, fix them for a modern audience. And we're back, baby. We're back, baby. We're back from Greta Gremlin's summer. We had a great summer. It was very relaxing. We did as our Lord and Savior, Greta Gremlin, would want for us, which is to relax, take

what we want. And what we wanted was time to ourselves. Yes, we took up space. So much space. So much space. Yes. Be and be authentically you and true to yourself. That's what Greta Gremlin would do. That is exactly what Greta Gremlin would do and did. Yep. She went for what she wanted and what she wanted was to marry that guy in that office. Did anyone watch Gremlins 2 over the summer? Oh, God, please let us know.

Because it was a trip. I know we talked about this a little bit in the Patreon episode that we released in July, but I watched it like right after that episode and it was wild. It was not what I was expecting because the first one's like a nice, cute, like Christmas special.

Uh-huh, yeah. I mean, it's not that cute. Like there's just like dark shit that happens, but it's just- Because the first one's like a nice cute like Christmas special. I mean, it's not that cute. Like there's just like dark shit that happens, but it's just... I mean, it's kind of cute. It's like the dark shit that happens is kind of adorable. Yeah. And fucked up. And the second one was just out of pocket, if I may. Out of pocket. Out of pocket, if I may. Out of pocket. Out of pocket. So, so good.

It's I think one of the most unhinged nonsensical films I have ever seen. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. It was nuts. Cripple Lee is there? Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan is in it.

The Hulkster. So yeah, definitely. Obviously, this episode comes out in August. We are catching up. So it is not... Greta Grimwin's summer technically isn't over. So that's fun for us. It really just began. We're actually coming to you from the past. We're just sort of

assuming that Greta Gremlin Summer went really, really well for us. It has already for me. I feel like I'm so excited to tell you this. Yeah, you said you had news. What's your news? So I got to start sending you some pictures in the chat. Oh my God. Get ready. Okay. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. So I woke up this morning and so I did a little, I was being very fancy and I did a French press for my coffee. And so instead of like putting the grinds in this like disposal, I go and put them in

my rosemary bush out in front of my house. Okay. Look what I found in my rosemary bush. Everyone else has to wait. What are those? Are those eggs? Yes. Are those bird eggs? I thought they were mushrooms and I moved my rosemary bush over and there's six bird eggs hanging out under my rosemary bush. Also, do you see the frog? Oh my God. I just saw the frog. Is that a real frog? Yes. I have so many frogs and toads by my house. It's fucking insane. I have really been enjoying your stories.

So many frogs. I get like 30 to 40 frogs that hang out by my light on my front porch every night. Wow. I have frog poop all over my walls. Ew. I really need to clean it off because they're paying my house. Yeah, they are with their poo. But there were bird eggs. So I grabbed one. That is wild. You grabbed one.

And Googled what it is. I put it back, but I wanted to see what kind of bird it was. We were guessing it was either a scrub jay, which they're so annoying. I mean, I love all birds, but scrub jays are the worst birds. No, they're in the lowest tier of bird. They're kind of down there with pigeons to where it's like you're more of a pest than you are a cool bird. I prefer pigeons to be honest, which is the second bird I thought it was, was like a Eurasian collar dove, which is like a pigeon. We have like a ton of them around our place. They're invasive and I was like, well, maybe I'll cook these up.

Smash those eggs. of them around our place. They're invasive and I was like, well, maybe I'll cook these up. Smash those eggs. But I looked it up and so we thought it might be, so I looked it up and we ended up setting up a ring camera in my flower pot. Are you ready to see? Please. Literally five minutes later, this cute little lady shows up. Oh my gosh. Isn't she so cute? Mommy, oh my gosh.

She's so cute and fat. Look at that fat bird. Do you know what kind of bird that is? I do not know what kind of bird that is. The best kind of bird. It's a quail, a California quail. It's a quail. Oh my goodness. And she decided that your pot was a safe place to raise her babies. Oh, I'm so excited for her.

So cute. I have had such a good morning. I literally have had my rain camera on like the entire day. Just watching her. Just watching her. She's been out there. We even had somebody drop the package off and she didn't like fly off. So she's just chilling. She's brooding. She's brooding her eggs. She's probably laying another egg. They lay like a bunch of them and they lay them like one per day. Oh. Or six. So she might like not be done. Oh. That's crazy. Oh, that's crazy. What a pretty birdie. So we named her Marahute. Marahute.

Oh, after the golden eagle from the rescuers down under. Yes. And we named her that because before she showed up, there was actually a Western fence lizard or blue-billy lizard hanging out in there. Oh, shit. And I kept saying, those aren't Joanna's eggs. These are not Joanna's eggs. These are not Joanna's eggs. These are not Joanna's eggs.

And eventually the lizard like crawled up the wall and left as we were putting the camera up. You leave those eggs alone. I did watch the lizard on the camera for a really long time and it was really fun too. I had a great morning. I wasn't expecting the mother to come back so soon. So I was just watching this lizard like, look at the camera and then dig. And I would see like dirt just flying from the side of the camera. And yes, I will definitely be posting all

these pictures on our Instagram. But it was very exciting. Yes, you should. Along with updates, please, because everybody got super invested in the Mr. Rattican story. And I saved so many mice and rats. Yeah, you did. That was a very good story. I'm still really nervous because I don't know, just wildlife. I feel like that's a really good spot for her because it's right in front of my door so we don't get a lot of cats or raccoons or whatever.

Yeah. This will be, and it's sheltered so like people like you can't immediately see her. Yeah, she was out there like the delivery people showed up and didn't see her and she didn't leave or anything so I think she feels pretty safe there. That's so cool. I know and also what's great about baby quails is once they hatch, they actually can leave in like a day. They don't need to spend a bunch of time in the nest before they start hopping around and stuff, you know? So you don't need to worry about like protecting that part of your yard.

Yeah, exactly. I don't need to worry about like nestlings hanging out in my front yard and not being able to go out my front door for like weeks. Right, because you don't want to step about nestlings hanging out in my front yard and not being able to go out my front door for like a week. Right, because you don't want to step on one or... Exactly. Yeah. So it's very exciting and she's so cute. And I've been just like, that made my whole morning, my whole day. She could not have picked a more perfect yard to set up a nest in because you're such a wildlife lover. You get so excited about wild animals choosing to nest or inhabit space near you.

Yeah, I get so excited. We named our ring camera the Quail Cam. The Quail Cam. Oh my God. I am very invested. I cannot wait to see these little guys hatch. I hope they do. I hope we get to see that so bad. I can see her right now. She's literally out there right outside my window behind me. She's chilling. I don't know if you can see. Yeah, I can see her. She's just chilling. She's a little bird. I'm obsessed with her. Marahute. Marahute. Oh my God. I love it so much. I did not remember that was the eagle's name. I had to look it up.

So why did you settle on that name? Did you decide you wanted to name her after that eagle but you didn't remember her name? Yeah. Basically, it was because of the lizard. The lizard was definitely Joanna. And then I was like, oh, we should name her after the eagle. I love that movie too. I've got to rewatch that one. It's really cute. Like A plus villain, A plus story. I also think Bernard and Bianca have an absolute couple goals relationship.

They're so cute. Yeah. As soon as I named the lizard Joanna, I mean, I didn't like do it on purpose, but I was just like, those are not Joanna's eggs. But I was also like, you know, it's wildlife. I don't even know if the, at that point, I didn't know if the mother was going to like come back. So I was like, Hey, yeah, you can have one of those eggs. I don't give a shit.

Like do your thing, nature. Do your thing, nature. Like, well, I mean, that's also why like, you know, you're a perfect wildlife person. You've got the necessary like, I just like observing animals in nature. I feel very invested now though, because she's so cute. Would you, like if the blue, if the lizard came back, would you try to scare it away at this point? No, honestly, I don't.

Like if she has to go, if she has to leave to feed herself and the lizard comes back? Well, I don't think the lizard can really get in the eggs because that's a tiny, he's a little guy. I mean, he's not like little, little, but I don't think he could break open the eggs by himself. He's not that big. So I probably wouldn't do anything and just watch. But I guess if like a scrub day or another bird or something or like a cat came over, I'd probably run them off. Nice.

But if a cat finds out about eggs right there, there's not much it can do. Yeah, it'll just come back when you're not watching at some point. So nature is fucked up. Yep, nature's fucked up. Yep, nature's fucked up. And cats are an invasive species. That's why you keep... I love cats. I love them.

Me too. Keep them inside. I tend to agree. Cheval has killed... We have all those frogs and sometimes they get in. Cheval kills every single frog that gets into my house. It's very sad. It's very upsetting.

Yep. It's very upsetting. Yep. It's very upsetting. I'm trying to keep removing it, but. Well, they can't help themselves. Like that's their nature. It's what they are. Yeah.

I saved a... I've been taking her out in the backyard every time it's been nice. I saved a pre-manus from her. She was attacking something. As soon as she gets that body language, I have to run up and grab her and be like, what are you doing? What are you trying to murder right now,

you little psychopath? Oh, cats are wonderful and terrible. And I tried to put the pre-manus in my garden, but she wasn't into it. That's okay. I kept picking her up and trying to put her in my garden, but she kept flying off. She wasn't very happy. Can't believe she just didn't find your garden very hospitable after being attacked by a

cat a bunch. I know. I was like, can you actually move into my pepper plants so other bugs stop eating them and you can eat all those bugs? That'd be great. Thanks. That'd be amazing. Is a praying mantis the kind of thing you can go to a pet store or a bug shop or whatever and buy one to install in your backyard? Not that I know of. I feel like you can buy predator insects. I know you can buy ladybugs, like just a big old bag of ladybugs.

But they usually migrate as soon as you release them. So there's no point. Not really. They have to choose you. I feel like Fern is yelling at us some facts right now through whatever listening device. Through the listening, then also through time because in the future through time and space we can hear Fern yelling something. She just popped up her head and went, no, wait.

There's more to it than that. I actually know about this. But yeah, I don't usually buy bugs. I usually put soap and water on my plants anyway. It's been a very naturey. I also mentioned the last time you listened to this podcast, I also had baby scrub jays outside my door, outside my bedroom window in the backyard. And they grew up and flew off. So it's been a very exciting summer so far.

A good summer for wildlife in Kelsey's yard. I love it. Yeah. Frogs, toads, prey, manas, fucking quail. Are you kidding? It's the best summer ever. I'm so happy. Praying mantis, fucking quail. Are you kidding? It's the best summer ever. I'm so happy.

Anywho, how have you been? How's your credit grumlin' summer going? Delighted for you. My credit grumlin' summer is going pretty well. I like, I don't know, really. I like, I've been, I've been, I've been working been working but also relaxing and reading and playing video games. Yeah, you said that you were rotting. But I would like to flip that and say, I think

that's just recharging. It must be recharging. Yeah, I've been recharging. That's a better way to think about it. I also like, I don't know, I've also been doing a lot of thinking. Like this is partially why like part of Greta, part of what Greta Gremlin summer means to me. And I've mentioned a couple of times like in like our bonus episode previews and also like last episode. But I've also just been doing a lot of thinking about like myself and how I want to be and exist in the world. And like trying to work on like more of like an outward presentation of myself that I,

like a more authentic, honest presentation of myself. Like being more comfortable with just being really like truthful about like how I feel about things or what I think about the world. Like even if I'm wrong and people don't agree with me like being open to being open to that disagreement and also like not caring about it about like well you know you don't have to like me. Which is the opposite I feel like of what we're taught growing up.

It's exactly the opposite of what we're taught. It's hard to unlearn. Yeah, like that it's like, it's best to go along to get along and it's best to like agree to disagree or, you know, don't be confrontational. And then if someone doesn't like you, that's the worst possible thing that can happen.

And so I've been trying to do a lot of thinking about unlearning that for myself. So what does the more authentic Abby look like so far anyway? I mean, I'm sure that's an ever-changing thing. It's an ever-changing thing. It's an ever-evolving thing. I think the more authentic Abby is someone who looks back on previous versions of herself with lots of affection and willingness to be like, yeah, I stand by what I said then. Or conversely, I don't stand by what I said then, and that's okay. I get it. I love that. And I think that's really important. And I love that so much.

Thank you. And that's important. And I wish more people were like that. And being open to, you know, you're not doing it right. And like, okay, well, how can I be doing it to get better? And maybe doing research or- Right. Just doing your best. Just do your best. Just do your best. Just do your best. Just do your best. Or you

know what? Don't. Just do your okay-est. Do your okay-est. Save your energy. Done not perfect. Do your fucking okay-est. Yeah. Do your okay-est. Do something. Do anything. And I really do feel like my story relates. I'm really excited to tell you. I love it. Okay. What story are you telling me? I feel like what you had to say very much kind of, I don't know, it's very related to the story I'm going to tell you, but before I tell you the story, I want to tell you how I got there. Take me on the journey.

So for Pride Month in August, which is Pride Month every month, baby. Pride is all year round. Yeah. Pride is eternal. I really wanted to find a queer fairy tale. Turns out that's really fucking hard because there's not a lot. As you and I both know, and a bunch of people know, probably everybody that listens to this podcast, maybe you don't. Hey, queer people have always existed.

It's not new. So- What? I know. Boom, mind blown, fucking crazy. So crazy. But the invention of the printing press didn't necessarily get that memo because guess what? People are in charge of the printing press. So Forbes actually has this really great article and it is titled, and I will post the link

to in our show notes but it's called why this charming gay fairy tale has been lost for 200 years oh my gosh by Jamie Wareham and no I am not reading this fairy tale because uh it's in a book with other queer fairy tales so I definitely absolutely plan to buy it but I didn't in time for this episode. But there's this great Forbes article, and in it, they talk about, so you know how fairy tales are put into categories, so like type A-T folk tale where this is like a blue beard situation. So that was actually used by, and I think I'm saying this name right, Arne Thompson. So it's called the Arne Thompson Uther tail type index to catalog fairy tales by their type and assign them numbers. So you'll find that whenever you go to Wikipedia and search

like Cinderella, it'll tell you what type of fairy tale it is because all these folk tales are from all over the world and they're all very similar. So there was a special person, Stith Thompson, an American scholar and folklorist, who is, I guess, one half of the two people who is one of the people who created the system to catalog the fairy tales. And apparently he erased a bunch of the LGBTQ folklore. You stunned me that this system is homophobic and probably also racist and patriarchal. What? You shock me, madam.

How dare you? That perhaps these straight, white, rich cisgender men did not consider these fairy tales to be worth preserving. What? Yeah. What? So all thanks to Stith Thompson. Boo.

Boo. According to the fortune. We spit on your name. Spit on your name. And this is why we don't even look at the tail types and we don't even talk about them because- Because boo. Boo on you.

Yeah. No. Sir. Yeah. But according to the article- I would slap you with my glove if I met you and we still did that. On the list of fairy tale histories, people we want to talk to have lunch with. It's not you.

Definitely not this guy. Yeah, no, I don't want to talk to him. The bottom of the... Actually, you know what? Maybe, maybe at the top so I could yell at you. I want to scream at him, but not talk to him. I don't want him to be able to respond. Yeah, right. You can't talk at all, actually. This is very non-Gretta Gremlin of you. So he compiled fairy tales in the 1920s, revised them in the 1950s, and he lists homosexuality and lesbianism in a section called Unnatural Perversions. My favorite category. Except not Beauty and the Beast because-

Right, no, that's not an unnatural perversion. One of the most popular fairy tales of all time because he was very open about his views, what man wasn't, and omitted stories for the catalog because they made him feel uncomfortable. I love that he just made that decision for all of us. Yeah, thanks. That's not, you know what, history is history. And that's technically what you think you're doing

is like preserving these folk tales. Sure, but I mean, you know, and that's a whole separate conversation about, you know, the tried and true phrase history is written by the victors. But we can talk about that. Yes, it is. It's fucking stupid. Anyway, I found the article and I thought it was really interesting. Again, I'll post the link on our show notes. I am not gonna get super, super into it, but I did try to find some queer fairy tales. I found a couple, but they were really, really short. And so I decided to read from our favorite bisexual disaster, Dr. Chanderson. I felt like I couldn't go wrong with that. I really...

You really can't. I was really excited about it. And I actually am really torn between two stories and I kind of feel like the one I should read is The Ugly Duckling. Oh, okay. Because it's longer than you think it is. And I mean, but you know how it goes. Yeah, it's a classic.

There's another one. I don't know how long we want this episode to be, but there's another really good one. And it was right before The Ugly Duckling and it's called The Rose Elf. It's a little bit shorter, but it is a truly what the fuck fairy tale. I want that one. I already know the story of the ugly duckling. Let's kick it off with the rose elf. Okay, okay. I'm so excited. Okay. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.

I will say, and I feel like everybody knows the ugly duckling. There's a couple parts you might not know, but it's very classic Hans Christian Andersen, the ugly duckling that goes on this journey to find himself. And I really do think it's a really nice, beautiful tale about finding your community. And that's what I got out of it. Not so much about that you're ugly. That is kind of gay. It's so gay. It's so queer. It's so beautiful and sad. It's so classic HCA. Yeah. Aw. Let me read you The Rose Elf and if we have time, we can do The Ugly Duckling. Maybe I'll do it next week. Maybe I'll do it for the next episode.

Next week. Because I have never heard of the rose elf, so I'm really intrigued. Okay. But the ugly duckling is a beautiful story. And I do think that it's… And I think I've seen it mentioned a couple of times. It's definitely got some queer interpretations of finding the people who find you beautiful. Yes, but the rose elf is unhinged, so I'm really excited. That's the energy that I'm looking for today. I definitely want to do the ugly duckling and we can have like a full discussion about that. But yes, tell me something unhinged.

It's our first episode back. Let's get weird. Okay, it's a little shorter, but this is the rose elf written by Hans Christian Anders Anderson in 1839. Thank goodness. Thank goodness. In the midst of a garden there grew a rose bush.

Do I get to- Oh yeah, I'm sorry. Of course you get predictions. It's been so long. Knock excuse. Summer has me- Forgotten how our podcast goes. I completely forgot how our podcast goes.

Give me three full ass predictions for the rose elf. Okay. Well, spoiler alert, you already told me there's a rose bush. No, you cannot guess anything that has to do with rose bushes. The rose elf is born out of a flower. Born out of a flower. Out of a rose, maybe. Maybe, perhaps.

It's unhinged. This story made me audibly gasp, oh my God, and what the fuck a few times. Oh my God. Okay. As I was reading it. Prediction number two, there will be a major character death. Okay. Major character death with three. What else do I think is unhinged? What else would make Kelsey gasp? Oh my God. I'm so excited you wanted to read this. The other one is so good, but this one's like, you know, fucking weird. You got to predict something really unhinged. I'm trying to feel like I'm like, okay, what are like some HCA unhinged go tos?

I don't even know if this is like classic HCA unhinged. Oh, that's how crazy it got. Okay. That's how crazy this one gets for me. Sorry, I feel like I'm hyping it up too much. I don't want to say like unrequited love is a strong theme because that's like every That's how crazy this one gets for me. Sorry, I feel like I'm hyping it up too much. I don't want to say like unrequited love is a strong theme because that's like every HCA story. That's true. Fuck, I don't know, important food.

Important food. You know, that's always a good prediction. It's a solid one. I can't think of anything else and I'm so excited to hear the story. I just want to hear it. Okay, let's do it. The rose elf. In the midst of the garden there grew a rose bush, quite covered with roses, and in the most beautiful of them all there lived an elf.

An elf so tiny that no mortal eye could see him. So he's real small. So you can't even see him. He's really tiny. Okay. So he's microscopic. Literally. But he was all well-made and as perfect as any child could be. And he had wings reaching from his shoulders to his feet. Behind each petal of the rose he had a tiny bedroom. Oh, that's cute. Oh, how fragrant his rooms were and how bright and transparent the walls, for they were beautiful pale pink petals of the rose. All day long the little elf rejoiced in the warm sunshine as he flew from flower

to flower or danced on the wings of the fluttering butterflies and measured how many steps he would take to pass along all the roads and the paths on a single linden leaf. You see what we call the veins of a leaf were high roads and byways to him. It was a long journey and he had began it rather late so before before he finished, the sun had gone down. So it's kind of crazy to think about things on that scale. Like, yeah, he's really tiny. He's well, he's so small. He cannot be seen with the naked eye. Yeah. So yeah, okay. So this rose is this like one rose is his whole world. I-hmm. I don't know. I kind of imagine I'm just a little bigger than that, personally.

But maybe that's just me. Because that's really small. Yeah, it's microscopic. One petal is a room. Yeah. That's so tiny. Oh. It's very tiny.

It's very cute. So it turned very cold, dew fell, and the wind blew. So now it was high time he went home. He hurried as fast as he could, but to his dismay, he found that the rose had closed its petals for the night. Not a single rose stood open. He couldn't get in. Now, the poor little rose elf was terribly frightened, for he had never been out at night before,

and he had always slumbered sweetly and safely behind the warm rose petals. This would surely be the death of him. Suddenly he remembered that at the other end of the garden there was an arbor of lovely honeysuckle, those flowers that looked like big painted horns. In one of them, perhaps, he could go down and sleep safely until the morning. Swiftly, he flew to the far end of the garden, but suddenly he stopped, quiet. There were already two people in the arbor. The loveliest maiden and a handsome young man.

Ooh, we're looking at a midnight tryst, baby. I love it. They sat closely together and wished that they might never, never part. They loved each other even more than the best child can love its father and mother. Weird. Huh? Weird.

Yet we must part, said the young man. Your brother doesn't like me, so he's sending me on a long journey, far over distant mountains and oceans. Farewell, my sweetest bride, for that you will always be to me. Then they kissed, and the young maiden wept and gave him a rose. But first she pressed on it a kiss so warm and tender that the rose petals opened and the little elf slipped inside quickly.

Oh, yes. Let's go on a journey. Where are we going? Somewhere fucked up probably. As he leaned his tiny head against the delicate fragrant walls, he could hear, farewell, farewell. He felt that the rose was being placed on the young man's heart. Ah, how that heart beat. The little elf couldn't go to sleep for its beating. Aw, they're in love. They're in love. But not long did the rose rest undisturbed on that throbbing heart. As the young man walked lonely through the dark wood, he took the rose out and kissed it so often and so warmly that the little elf was almost crushed. Through the petals. So he is full on jamming his mouth up against this rose.

Through the petals, he could feel the young man's burning lips while the rose itself opened as if under the strongest midday sun. Okay, this is very sexual. Suddenly another man appeared. It was the pretty maiden's gloomy and wicked brother. Oh, okay. Enemies to lovers. He drew out a long sharp knife.

And while the young man was kissing the rose, this wicked one stabbed him to death. Then he cut off the head and buried the head and the body in a soft earth beneath the linden tree. Oh no! Now he's dead and forgotten, the evil brother thought. He'll never come back again. He was supposed to have left on a long journey where a man might easily lose his life, and

so he's lost his. No, he won't come back, and my sister won't ever date or ask me about him. Oh wait, sorry. My sister won't ever dare me ask about him. She won't ever date him. She won't date or dare ask him. Then he kicked the dry leaves over the loose earth and went home in the darkness of the night.

Oh, this man sounds like he has a fine mustache. Yes. He talks like he has a fine mustache. Very twisty. Very twisty. What the fuck? What the actual hell? The whole first part of this is the sweetest, cutest fairy tale.

And then this guy gets murdered and his head gets chopped off and buried in the woods. It's a very sudden turn. That's very non-HCA, right? No, you know what? Not to be... I mean, death is not uncommon, but like not a straight up moita. Yeah. What moita?

Straight up moita. But the brother was not alone as he thought. The little elf was with him. For as he dug a grave, a dried rolled up linden leaf had fallen in his hair, and the rose elf was in that leaf. a dried rolled up linden leaf had fallen in his hair and the rose elf was in that leaf. Oh. Now that the man's hat was placed over the leaf, it was very dark in there, where the little elf trembled in fear and anger at the wicked deed. Ah, oh my gosh, I love it. Like he's, he was already so invested.

I know. He's like, what the fuck? This rose elf is also like... Not having it. No. This guy's evil. In the early morning. What the fuck? This rose elf is also like... Not having it. No. This guy's evil. In the early morning... Also, he was downright involved at that point because he was getting kissed with that flower. He was into it.

He was into it. He was burning lips. This is a secret threesome. Secret threesome. I love that. I love that. I love that for the Rose-elf. Poor Rose-elf.

He is traumatized 100%. In the early morning, the evil man reached home. He took off his hat and went to his sister's bedroom. There lay the pretty maiden, dreaming of her beloved whom she thought was far away traveling over mountains and through forests. The wicked brother leaned over her and laughed, a hideous laugh of a devil. And the withered leaf dropped from his hair onto her bed cover, but he didn't notice and pretty soon he left her room to get a little sleep

himself. Because as we've heard from fairy tales in the past, murder is hard work. Murder is tiresome. Murder is exhausting. You need a good meal and a long night's rest after you've done a moita. Maybe a couple pints. And a couple pints after a moita. At least this guy finished it. Finished the job or finished the pint? Finished the murder before he had a pint. At least this guy finished it. Finished the job or finished the pint?

Finished the murder before he had a pint. Right. Yes. No, that's good. This guy's a couple steps ahead of your usual fairy tale murderer. Yep. He's on top of it. Now the little elf crept quietly out of the withered leaf, slipped into the ear of the sleeping girl, and told her, as in a dream, the dreadful story of the murder.

He described the spot in the woods where her brother had killed her sweetheart, and placed under the linden tree where his body was buried, and then whispered, And so that you may not think this all a dream, you will find a withered leaf of the tree on your bedspread." And when she awoke, she found the leaf. Oh, what bitter, bitter tears she shed. Yet to no one did she dare betray her grief. All that day her window stood open and the little elf could easily have escaped to the roses and all the other flowers in the garden, but he could not bear to leave the sorrowing girl.

Oh, that's so sweet. He's so invested. He's so invested. In the window stood a bush that bore roses every month, and he found a spot in one of those flowers from where he could watch the poor girl. Often her brother came into the room, merry with an evil mirth,

and she dared not say a word of the grief in her heart. When night came, she stole out of the house and into the forest to the place where the linden tree stood. She brushed away the leaves, dug into the earth, and so at last came to the body of her beloved. Okay, that's kind of weird. It's a little grim.

How she wept then, and how she prayed to God that would be impossible. She took up the pale head with its closed eyes and kissed the cold mouth with a trembling hand, brushed the dirt from the beautiful hair. How long has it been? Probably like literally a day. Literally a day?

Okay, okay, okay. All right, just a day. Like maybe a cup maybe, just a day. Maybe, maybe a cup, maybe just a day. Well, I just wasn't sure how long the elf had been kind of like watching her weep in her room and watching her brother come in and out. Yeah, I think it's pretty soon after. I think she had to see for herself.

Okay, that's fair. That makes more sense. I was like, well, you know, I hope it's only been like 24 hours. It is a little weird. And then she says, as she's holding his head, this at least I can keep, she wept. Then she buried the body again and scattered the leaves once more over it. But

the head together with a little sprig from a jasmine bush that bloomed in the wood where he had been killed, she took with her to her home. Yep. You need that to cover up the smell of the head. That's a little weird. That's also kind of a departure for HCA. That's also where I said, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?

You know what? I'm regretting things now because I was literally sitting here contemplating making one of my predictions dismemberment related. But I was like, no. That's not really his style. Yeah. It's a little bit of a departure. But I should have listened to you more. It's not really anyway. It's a little dark for HCA. I like it. It is. I like it.

I'm enjoying it. It's just, yeah, okay. So she brings the head home. She brings the head home and she's got plans for it. As soon as she reached her room, she brought the biggest flower pot she could find and in this she laid the dead man's head, covered it with the earth and planted the sprig of jasmine. The little elf could no longer bear to see such grief. Farewell, farewell, he whispered, and then he flew out of his rose into the garden.

But it was withered and faded now, with only a few dry leaves clung to the bush. Alas, sighed the elf, how soon everything good and beautiful passes away. That's very HCA. Very HCA. Also, I don't know. I think that implies that it's been longer than we thought, because it's fall now. That's true, but I don't know.

I don't know. I think she buries it, and then time passes. And now we can't stand to see her grief so hit any bones. Okay, that's fair. Okay. I like that better. That's good. You know, it's probably over interpretation.

That makes more sense to me. Do go on. But at last, he found another rose and made his home safely behind its delicate, fragrant petals. But every morning he would fly to the poor maiden's window and he always found her there, weeping over the flower pot. Softly her bitter tears fell upon the jasmine spray and every day as she became paler and paler,

the spray grew fresher and greener. New shoots appeared one after the other with the white little buds burst forth and these she kissed. When her wicked brother saw her do that, he scolded her and asked why she acted so silly. He didn't like it and he didn't understand why she was always weeping over the flower pot. Why are you so sad? So confusing. What a mystery. He did not know what closed eyes were there, what red lips had there returned to dust.

The pretty maiden leaned her head against the flower pot and the little elf found her there, fallen into a gentle slumber. He crept again into her ear and whispered to her that evening in the arbor and the scent of the roses and the loves of the elves. She dreamed so sweetly, and while she dreamed, her life gently passed away. She died a quiet death and was head in heaven with her beloved. Of fucking course. Aww. And the jasmine flowers opened their big white bells and gave out their wonderful, sweet fragrance. It was the only way they knew to weep for the dead.

and gave out their wonderful sweet fragrance, it was the only way they knew to weep for the dead. When the wicked brother saw the beautiful blooming plant, he took it for himself as an inheritance from his sister and put it in his bedroom close beside his bed, for it was glorious indeed to look at, and its fragrance was sweet and fresh. But the little rose elf went with it and flew from

blossom to blossom. In each blossom lived a tiny soul and to each he told the story of the murdered man whose head even now rested under the earth beneath them. Does the jasmine plant like reach out and strangle the evil brother in his sleep? He told them of the evil brother and the poor sister. We know it replied each little soul of the flowers. Did we not sprig from those murdered eyes and lips? We know it, we know it, they repeated and nodded their heads in an odd way. The rose elf could not understand how they could be so quiet about it.

And he flew out to the bees gathering honey and told them the terrible story of the wicked brother. So they reported it to their queen and the queen commanded all the bees to kill the murderer the very next morning. Yes! Yay! Oh my God, I'm so excited. I'm absolutely here for this. Nature revenge. Nature gets its revenge. I love it. Yes. But the night before, the first night after his sister's death, while the evil brother was asleep in his bed beside the fragrant jasmine, the flowers opened and out of each blossom came a tiny spirit, invisible but armed with sharp little poisoned spear. First, they crept into his ears and told him wicked dreams, and they flew across his lips and pierced his tongue with their poisoned darts.

Now we have avenged the dead man, they cried, and they flew back again into the white bells of the jazz. The dead man, not his sister. I got rich. I mean, he did like first-hand on purpose kill the guy, I guess. So that makes sense. They also are, they were like, they sprang from him. He fertilized. Right, that's true. They sprang from his head. Which is so dark.

It's super dark. But also like I do, I love it. I love like plant I love plant vengeance. Me too. I also like that the rose elf is just flying from plant to bees to be like, listen to this tea. I got some hot goss. Fuck this guy, right?

Yeah. You love this rose elf? Yes. I love that. I think that's wonderful. I also like that the jasmine flowers have a multi-step plan for how to torment him to death. I love that the jasmine flowers have little poison darts. They do.

Who thought jasmine would kill you? Who knew? Who knew? Who knew? I mean, don't be evil around the jasmine plants. No. Or just at all. Enjoy the sweet fragrance, you know? Or at all. Yes, at all. Just don't be evil. Don't murder people. Don't cut off their head and bury them in the woods. Yeah. When the morning came and the windows of the bedroom were opened, the rose elf and the whole swarm of bees with their queens swept in to kill him.

But he was already dead and the people stood around his bed and said, the scent of the jasmine has killed him. The rose elf understood the vengeance of the flowers and told it to the queen and she and her whole swarm of bees ceaselessly hummed around the flower pot and could not be driven away. When a man picked up the pot, a bee stung him on the hand so that it let it fall and it broke into pieces. Then the people saw the whiteened skull and knew that the dead man on the bed was a murderer. Ooh, okay. I mean, that is like, that's some damning stuff.

Mm-hmm. So the queen bee hummed in the air and sang of the vengeance of the flowers and of the rose elf and how behind the smallest leaf there dwells one who can disclose and repay every evil. The end. Wow, okay. Wasn't that so good and like fucking weird? I mean, weird for an HCA story for sure. Just like weird in general. I never would have predicted like HCA vengeance tale. Yeah, I love that the rose elf, it starts off as such a cute, here's an elf and he lives in a sweet little rose.

And he's so tiny. And there's so much romance and it's so nice. And then the brother sweeps in and fucking murders him and chops off his head. And then the young maiden comes in like, takes his head home. Amazing. Takes his head home and then, okay, it was very HCA of her to die of grief. Yes. Oh, absolutely. Like it was still very much an HCA story.

Well, that was the most HCA part though, I've got to say, because everything else is not really his style. I love that the Rose elf is gathering plants and bees. He's so upset. He was so invested that now he's making it his life's work to get vengeance on behalf of these distuples. To the point that his legend carries on, that the bees now sing of this elf who will get vengeance on wrongdurias.

It's so good. That totally changed the trajectory of this elf's life where now he's like a vigilante vengeance elf. Is this another one where we fix it to be instead of a ghost? We got to add it to the expanded universe. Yes. That's the fix. The rose elf becomes a vigilante do-gooder and I don't know, brings murderers to justice.

Those who are in the know knows that there is a garden in Denmark where a vigilante vengeance elf can be found. Vigilante vengeance elf. That's definitely a title contender for the simpsom. I think it's a great title contender. I also like Secret Threesome or whatever it was. Secret Threesome. It was definitely a Secret Threesome. I love it. That's so fun.

Yes. I love this. Then so like our Korean ghost hunter with his ghost partner slash antagonist on their travels across the world have to enlist the help of the vigilante vengeance elf to disperse some like murderous ghosts in Amsterdam or whatever. I don't know. Amazing. Perfect. You know what? There's got to be one for like every country, so, or at least every continent. Absolutely. That's so good. I love it. What a great story. Wasn't that fucked up? I don't know. It was just so surprising to

me. I was reading it and I was like, oh my God. I mean, I think that it felt more, because we've definitely read stuff that was more fucked, because we've definitely read stuff that was more fucked up and we've also read stuff that was more unhinged, but I think because it was an HCA story and that's such a different direction for him. I love that for him. I love that for him. That was HCA in his Edgar Allan Poe phase. Absolutely. That was very goth. It was so goth. It was so goth. Then also, I don't know, somebody did something. A traditional HCA story to me would be about

the woman passively accepting her fate and then moving on to heaven where she belongs. That's better. That's a good ending for her. This one got vengeance. Yes, so I like this departure from a traditional HCA story in the sense that something actually happened. Usually there's no plot to an HCA story. And I love that like you think,

he thinks like the jasmine flowers aren't gonna do anything So he goes and rounds up the bees and the bees are just right there like in it immediately. They're ready What did he do? He did what? Queens like fuck this guy and then they all go to murder him and he's already dead because the jasmine The jasmine spirits. Oh, that's so cute. I love the idea that they're like little spirits in each blossom. That's very end of The Little Mermaid. I was a little worried when I was reading that last night. I was like, oh, is this going to have a weird like Children of the Air ending?

We about to get weirdly religious? Uh-huh. I was a little worried. Because again, that would be on brand. It's just... Uh-huh. But no, it was perfect. I thought it was so...

I don't really have a fix for it. I thought it was really weird and hilarious, but I love the fix is that it's now a vigilante vengeance self and he just goes from flower to flower to bring murderers to justice. Yeah, as with any story that we deem to be otherwise perfect, it now just enters the fairy, like our fairy tale universe canon. Oh yeah, for sure.

And I also see him taking it too far because he's a vigilante. Absolutely. So then he accidentally starts bringing little kids. He starts getting the bees, just little kids that just stole a toy or something. Right. Yeah. And then at that point, he needs intervention.

Somebody has to stop him. The Korean ghost hunter. The Korean ghost hunter has to step in and stop him. Oh, man. He's taking it too far. You know, it's a classic vigilante thing of like, you know, you can either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain. Yes!

And then he just becomes a villain. Oh my God, I love that for the rose elf because he was so romantic and now his heart's been turned ash. Well, I mean, that's how it happens, right? Like you're pure of heart and then something awful happens to you or in front of you and it just changes the trajectory of your life. So good. Gosh, I love this. You know what? Roses have thorns and then he has like… Oh, Taglin, yes. Roses have thorns and he has all these thorns on his arms. I don't know. Yes. Oh my gosh. I love that we keep going back to this superhero thing.

I love that we keep going back to this superhero thing. No, I love it. I love it so much. All of his weapons are Thorin and they're dripped in jasmine poison. Oh, fuck yes. And he's got B sidekicks. B sidekick. He rolled the B. Oh my God. I wanna watch that. God, this is so cool. Anyway, I'm glad you picked the one. I do love the Ugly Duckling, but that one I think is actually way better. We'll do the Ugly Duckling someday.

We should, because it's a great story. I am reading today from African Folk Tales, which is part of the Pantheon Fairytale and Folklore Library. Woo woo, go Pantheon. And I kind of wanted to read out of the, just kind of as part of my getting more comfortable with getting more comfortable with confrontation arguments and people not agreeing with me and having that be fine. Let's do it. I am going to read from part the section,

stories to discuss and even argue about. Ooh, I love it. Yeah, so there's an interesting introduction to this section of the book that kind of talks a little bit about because the book is split up into a couple of different sections. The first section in the book actually talks about like, okay, these are some, like introduces some fairy tales and folklore that are in a more Western pattern and a more Western, are in a more Western pattern and have a more Western way of thinking about storytelling and stories. Then the next parts of the book go into some ways of telling and thinking about stories that are more indigenously African and less influenced by Western cultures.

Cool. We have literally studied anthropology, so you know I fucking love that. Absolutely. Absolutely. So the introduction to this section of the story kind of talks a little bit about how this chapter brings... I'm just going to read directly explaining what the book is explaining. This chapter brings together two types of short narrative that appear to be diametrically opposed.

The first 18 are dilemma tales, tales without an end, and the rest are profound moral examples, stories that explicate a lesson or answer a central question. I'm going to be reading a couple of stories from the former category because the ones with the dilemma tales, the ones with no real ending, you're just kind of supposed to talk it out and argue about what the ending should be, which I think is very on theme for our podcast. Oh, you've got an ending. Exactly.

We'll figure out an ending. But the book kind of continues, because dilemma or enigma tales are both characteristically African and atypical of the stories usually found in fairy tale collections, it seems useful to briefly describe the situations in which these stories arise. And again, like this book was curated and collected by a white man, Roger Abrahams. So take everything he's saying about African culture and West African culture in particular, because most of these stories are West African in origin with the usual giant grains of salt. But he says that virtue in the context of African storytelling resides both in the ability to argue eloquently and in the ability to demonstrate a command of

tradition. So the way the story is told and how convincingly the story is told is just as important as the text or the facts of the story itself and whether or not you have done a good job making your argument in a dilemma tale, essentially is what the introduction says about it. So with all of that said, I am going to be reading a story called The Contest of Riddles.

This is a story, the book credits this as a story of the Abraan people, but when I looked up the Abraan people, it looks like they potentially prefer to be called the Bono people. This is a group of people who live in the country Ivory Coast, in the eastern part of the country, or the Cote d'Ivo'Ivoire if in Cote d'Ivoire. Oh yeah. Are you doing geography corner? Yes. So this is geography corner. So Cote d'Ivoire or the Ivory Coast is a country on the southern coast of West Africa. It borders Guinea to the northwest, Liberia to the west, Mali to the northwest, Burkina Faso to the northeast, Ghana to the east, and the Gulf of Guinea or the Atlantic Ocean to

the south. This is one of the countries that's on the part of Africa that's like, juts out in a round shape. It's in the bottom part of the pea. It's on the bottom of that. It's on the bottom part of the pea, exactly. Kind of looks like a pea, right? Yeah, like a reverse pea. Oh, you're right. Peas go the other way. Peas go the other way. But yes, essentially, yes. And so Cote d'Ivoire is on the southern side of that. So that is where our story is set and the Bono people live in the eastern part of the country. All right. Yep. Cool.

And so this is a dilemma story from those people. Oh, and also you may give me, Oh yeah. You may give me two predictions about what you think the Contest of Riddles is about. Okay. The Contest of Riddles. Man, you know how good I am about riddles.

Also, I'm just remembering we didn't go over your points. Oh, shit. We didn't go over my points. I believe I get one for major character death. Yeah, got one. That's correct. There was no important food. And it doesn't say if the rose?

Was born out of a flower. I assume that's true. But it is not stated. I agree. I agree. OK. OK. The agree. I agree. Okay. Okay. The contest of riddles. I predict that we get to hear a riddle.

Ooh, okay. And my second prediction is that there's a fight. I mean, just based on what you said, but also riddles kind of make me want to fight. Same. Because I am so bad at them. Super same. So those are my predictions. I take everything at face value. So riddles really throw me for a loop. I hate that.

Me too. I feel like sometimes they don't really make sense and I hear the answer and I'm like, all right. I guess that's a stretch, but okay. If you're being cheeky, sure. Yeah, but most riddles are cheeky. I know. Oh well well it's fine. There was once a king who had one child, a daughter. When she was still a little girl she told her father that she wanted to marry a man who was wise in the knowledge of riddles. When she became old enough to choose a husband her father

called the chiefs of all the Bono before him to find the man who would pass her test. Before they went to court, each chief called the men of his village together and had them teach him all the riddles they knew. But when they arrived at the house of the king and each recited all his riddles for the princess, she wouldn't accept any of them. Was she answering them? Or was she just like, no, I'm not impressed? I think it's more that she's, I think it's just like, she's like, no, those aren't good riddles. Or it's obvious that you had someone else teach them to you

and you're not very, you yourself are not very wise. Uh-huh, I like it. That's an interesting test. That's an interesting kink. I like that, yeah, it's a good kink. It's a good kink. I want a really brainy, And a cunning, kind of tricky person who sort of thinks outside the box.

Yeah, definitely. What she's looking for. I love that for her. Me too. Some months later, two young men of a distant village decided to try their luck with the king's daughter. The journey to the court was long, so they took a youth with them to carry their belongings. When they arrived at court, the daughter of the king said they must wait three days and then on the fourth day she would accept one of them in marriage. The first day… It's going to be the youth, isn't it? Is it going to be the youth? Or is that like

a child? I'm sorry. I'm asking you like you don't know the answer already. Youth is a sexy young man. And youth. I don't know why we're involving him, but just so you know, he exists. Just so you know, there's a youth along. Just so you're aware. So the first day she made Foo Too for them, but I think the book misrepresented that. I think they're actually talking about fufu, which is pounded yam or cassava. And it kind of makes this like,

it's sort of like a doughy, bready thing that a lot of West African culture is used to like, uses a utensil to eat their food with. So it's kind of like naan that way where you use the fufu to scoop up your food. That sounds so good. I've never had it. It looks delicious. I've watched a couple of videos on how to make it because it looks incredible, but it looks also it looks hard. So I have not attempted it myself, but it's supposed to be starchy, smooth, dense, and stretchy. Everything you said sounds delicious. I also need to eat lunch after this.

Uh, you know, go find, go find some West African food. Oh my God. I wish. So she makes them, she makes them foo foo. I think it's foo foo and not like foo foo. I'm trying to pronounce it correctly. But anyway, that's not the point. The bread dough that is the staple of life in the, according to the story. Hell yeah. In the center of the ball of dough, she put a red cola nut. When the two men found the cola, they threw it away, but their serving youth recovered and kept it. The hot serving youth. He's probably sexy as hell.

I'm just guessing. sexy as hell. I'm just guessing. On the second day and the third, she again put a red cola nut in the center of the dough ball and each time the two men threw the cola away and the youth recovered it. On the fourth day, the king's daughter once more prepared foo-foo for the men, but this time she put a small cotton ball in the center of it. When the two men found the cotton ball, they discarded it as they had the cola, but the youth saved it as he had saved the cola. Okay, but why? I'm so excited. When the men finally came before the girl, the first of them recounted all the riddles

he knew, but when he had finished, the king's daughter said, I cannot marry you. Then the second man recounted all the riddles he knew. But when he had finished, the girl said, I cannot marry you. Can I also just interject real quick and say how much I love that she's saying no and the king's not like forcing any of it. Right. Her father's like, hey, fair enough. She has so much agency in this story, and it's very exciting. I like that too. It's one of the reasons why I picked the story,

because I like the king was just kind of like, I'm only marrying a guy who I deem is clever enough for me. And her father's like, fair enough. Uh-huh, and she's doing it. It's so good. And she's doing it. Yeah. So the youth, who had stood silent all this time, then asked to speak. The two men refused to give him permission, but the king's daughter commanded that he have the chance to. Mm-hmm. Yeah, of course they're going to be like, oh, hell no.

Yeah, absolutely not. No, you're placed. That guy, the youth. But she was like, no, I want to hear what he has to say. Oh, hell yeah. The youth stepped forward and said, I have very little to say and so I will not take much of your time. The first day of our arrival, the king's daughter put a red kola nut in the middle of the hoo-hoo. On the second and third days, she did the same thing, but on the fourth day, she put in a cotton ball. Now I say on the first three days, she

was menstruating, but that on the fourth day she had finished. Okay. I know he's probably like right, but wouldn't it be so funny if she's like, what the fuck? No. She's like, ew, no, you're being weird. That's not even close. Get out of here, you fucking weirdo. I personally think that would be fucking hilarious, but that's not what it is. No, no, no, no, definitely not.

But I do think it would be funny. It's like, ew, why would you think it was about my period, you fucking- Why would you go there, you weirdo? That's funny. But no, the king's daughter responded that the youth was indeed wise and that she would marry him. Aww. The other men were jealous and announced that they were going to leave and the youth must come with them to carry their things. Huh. The king's daughter replied that they must all stay one more day so that she and the youth must come with them to carry their things. The king's daughter replied that they must

all stay one more day so that she and the young man could get married, and they agreed. As soon as the marriage was completed, the three men set out for their own village, and along the way, the first man said, we must kill the youth. Obviously. The second said, no, we cannot, but let us take him back to the village and give him to his parents. And after some argument, they finally agreed to tie the youth to a tree and abandon him. Nice middle ground. And so they did. Bound up though he was, the boy did not cry, but waited. After some time, a vendor of cola came by. The youth said to him, Go to the daughter of the king, my wife, and say to her, Untie this cola and guard it, or it will surely rot. When the vendor had done so, the

girl, without saying a word, ran to her father and asked him to give her two horses. My husband is tied to a tree, and if I do not go and free him, he will surely die." And she rode off and rescued him. From then, they lived happily. Now, my children, which of the two, the youth or the king's daughter, was wiser in the knowledge of riddles? And that's supposed to be the dilemma that you fight about So who do you think is wiser when it comes to riddles Well, I will say I I'll say, I actually was thinking like, I was kind of weird that he went first like to her period, but also it's, you know, also a little like, he's thinking about that.

And it's like, he's not like weirded out by it. So that's actually like, it's like changing my mind as I said it. Yeah, I actually kind of like that. But it's like, he's like, okay, what could that mean? And he's actually considering. But also, I just hate the idea of a man being like, oh, female troubles. But that's not really what he meant. So I don't know.

I don't think so. I think, in fact, I actually, I appreciate a man that can discuss a woman's period or that even like thinks about it or acknowledges that it happens at all. Exactly. I actually like that for him. I said that and I was like, actually, as you were telling me the rest of the story, versus the king versus the youth who's clever? Who's clever about riddles, the princess or the youth? Oh, the princess or the youth. I mean, obviously the princesses in my opinion. She had way less to go on and way less time to think about it. So I would argue that it's her.

And she was also creating the riddle. She wasn't just knowing them, she was making them. Inventing her own. Well, and arguably so did he because he gave the cola merchant a cryptic phrase that she then had to decipher. That's cute. They're such a good match. I mean, ultimately, I think they're just really well matched. They're a good team. Yeah. Although... I also would assume there's some cultural context that we're missing about why this

is supposed to be... Oh, yeah, probably. Why this is supposed to be an argument or a dilemma tale. But based off of what we know, I don't know. They just... Yeah, yeah, I agree. They seem like a really good match. That's really cute.

They seem like a good pair. I would just, again, I don't know, I'm going to vouch for the princess a little bit more also because she's heard so many riddles at this point. Absolutely. And discounted a lot of them. I'm just kind of like, eh, that's actually not very good. Easy. Yeah. So yeah, I'd say the princess, but I wouldn't be mad if somebody was like, I think I would

have more of an argument if someone said it was the prince who was cleverer. It's like, cause why? Cause why? Like how was he clever? But I could easily be persuaded if I had more evidence, I guess. I think they're both very clever. I would give the edge to the princess. Yeah, me too. She's also the one that decided that's how she wants to find a partner. Yeah, because it's also the question of who's wiser in the knowledge of riddles. She has

clearly dedicated her life to the study of riddles. She chose that thing. That's her thing. Yeah, that's her thing. She is a riddle person. That's her party trick if she pulls out a riddle. Yeah, the youth didn't come for that, but he was really good at it, which is great. is that not also an argument to why he's better at riddles? Because it's not something he's made a study of that we know of from the text. No, I don't think that makes you better. That makes you good, but not better. Well, there you go. I think we have our answer. We have solved the dilemma of this dilemma tale.

I feel like we think so much alike. It's hard for us to ever argue. It's hard for us to have an argument. Yeah, but that was fun. I liked that. I love that she had so much agency and that they're such a good match. Yeah, I really enjoy this story. I think I'm probably going to default to like the riddle tales in this section because I do think it's, I love the idea of a story you're supposed to argue over. Because I love arguing. I mean, that's why I love that one game. Super Fight. Yeah, Super Fight. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So I'll probably keep reading from this section absolutely over time please do if any of you dear listeners have a an argument um for this particular dilemma tale about who is more accomplished at riddles, please write into our Discord and let us know.

Speaking of arguing, I have an argument for you right now. Oh, is it about your predictions? My points. Okay, present your argument. Did we get to hear a riddle? We heard of a riddle with the cassava. I would say we heard a riddle with the cassava. I would say we heard a riddle because the riddle was her leaving stuff in the net. You know what?

That also might be an argument against her because I don't see how that's a riddle. Yeah, it is, but it's not. He was the one who actually sent her a critic message that she had with this guy. And then also there's a fight. I feel like there was a fight between the two men and the youth. I certainly feel the fight is implied, but also maybe he just let them tie him up. I don't know. He's like, yeah, my baby is super smart. She will come save me. Should I just put a question mark for my points in this one? Let our patrons tell us.

Yes. Oh my gosh. I love that. Yes. We'll let the patrons decide whether or not you get those points. Patreon poll, did Kelsey get any points? Yeah. Did Kelsey get any points? I don't know. It's a dilemma. Did we hear a riddle? And a dilemma. Was there a fight? Was there a fight? Was there? comments. It's on theme with this particular kind of story. I love it. Just a question mark. Just a question mark. Fight about it. I love the idea that there's an entire category

of folktale that is designed to be fought about. Fight over it. That's very fun. I think so too. Well, and that's very folklorish too, to have a story that you talk about and then I love that it poses a question after. Because if you had just ended it, I wouldn't really know what the... And they lived happily ever after. Yeah, that was the end. I wouldn't really be thinking about it that much.

But that's kind of our podcast too. We talk about it, we analyze it, we're like, how can we fix this? Do you have a fix for that story? No, I don't know. I liked it. I thought it was pretty good. Me too. That was cute. I think it's a great story. If they were upset that the guy was going to marry the princess, I don't, there's some parts of the story I don't understand, but I don't necessarily think they're a problem.

I don't know why they insisted he come back with them after he was like, clearly, he's married the princess now, but that also could be my very, I don't know. The thing is with reading from a book of African folk tales that like really aren't presented with a lot of specific context about the culture that the story comes from. I do feel like there's a lot that I'm just straight up missing that like that there's that there's, there's a there's a reference here or a joke here or a implied cultural norm here that I am just not picking up on because that's not where I come from. But, so no, I don't have a fix for it.

Well, I think that's gonna do it for us. That was, I think of a great episode to come back on. If I do say so myself. Feels good. I feel like a red episode I feel like. Yeah. It's gonna be a good season. Anyway, thank you so much for listening to Fairy Tail Fix. We're so excited to be back.

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I'm buying like five lattes a week. I'm really into the dirty chai right now. It's bad. God, yes. Draining my bank account. An iced dirty chai. But yeah, you can go over to fairytalefix.cash and you can get extra episodes. We do merch and we do giveaways with books and stickers and stuff like that.

Oh, yes. And you can also find us on Instagram at fairytalefixpod and you can find us on Facebook at Fairytale Fix Pod and you might even find us on TikTok at Fairytale Fix Pod. You might. You might. You may. And you can message us, but I can't guarantee at this juncture that we will respond, but we love you and we thank you. that we will respond, but we love you and we thank you. Mm-hmm. And the rose elf became the vigilante vengeance rose elf. And roses have thorns and he took it too far. And then what's that thing about becoming a, yeah.

Oh, he's a, he's a, fuck, what was it? Vigilante Vengeance Elf. Well, wait, what's that thing where they become the bad guys? You can only. Oh, right, if you don't die a hero, you may live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun. Okay, it's your turn.

And the prince and princess from the riddle Dilemma Tale continued to amuse and baffle each other for many decades. And they all lived happily ever after.