Fairy Tale Fix - Listener Tales 02

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

Abbie and Kelsey read your stories! This second Listener Tales episode includes stories of sibling pranks, fairy tale hoaxes, book recommendations, and turtles named David.

They killed a rival baker and here's evidence. Yeah, I 100% would watch that movie. Yes. Welcome to Fairy Tale Fix, the listener episode where you send in your tales to us. And we tell them back to you and enjoy them so much thoroughly enjoy them before we get into it though i do have a quick you know i've heard a lot of podcasts call it housekeeping yeah that's something that we say on fantastic worlds pod a lot too where we're every host trade-off episodes for who's doing the intro that episode.

So we'll be like, some quick housekeeping notes before we get into the rest of the episode. I don't know why people say that, but. Well, I've got some housekeeping. So Adam listened to the devil episode yesterday. And he let me know today that he can cook. We took that very seriously.

And he said, I can take care of myself in the kitchen. Thank you very much. So I apologize to my sweet husband who does help me in the kitchen quite often. So this is perfect listener tales content. Yeah, he definitely was like i do just fine thank you very much because he we made eggs benedict this morning okay um he he doesn't know how to poach an egg but he definitely helps me with everything else so i did i didn't quite remember him uh me saying in the devil episode that he doesn't help me cook but he does so I'm giving

him credit because it is due he helps me a ton we're very sorry he's the best sous chef a girl could ask for I'm really glad we cleared that up I'm so happy about that. I have no regrets about the things that I said about my partner. Stephen can't cook. He can't. That's okay. At least he wouldn't ask for herrings and broth. No. But before I took over cooking duties in our household, I do believe he would boil vegetables

and just cook chicken in a pan without any other seasonings besides salt. At least there was salt, right? Yeah, there was salt. And then he'd throw them all into a big bowl with undercooked rice, season it all with salt and pepper and maybe some garlic salt or something. That doesn't sound like the worst dinner ever. Oh, God, it was terrible. It was so bland.

And he'd throw that together with like undercooked rice and shove it in the fridge. And that would be what he'd eat all week. Stephen. He was bad. He was in bad shape when I found him. Well, he is lucky to have you. He is. And then, but this also means like

he does all the dishes. So I get to go make a giant mess and then he cleans. Adam definitely does more dishes than I do. So he helps me and I also make him do the dishes. Being married to me is basically I get drunk a lot and i yell at you it sounds great just kidding i'm not kidding he's a lucky man adam would understand anyway anyway we're we're doing listener tales again and we have some patrons to thank. Yes. New patrons to welcome to our ranks. Thank you so, so, so much.

Our dear friend, Ricky. Oh, Ricky. We are so grateful. Yes. Hi, Ricky. Thank you. We want to thank you so much for joining our Patreon. You're incredible.

Thank you so much to us. We are worthy, but you recognize that worthiness and we really appreciate you. He joined at the Fairy Overlord tier. Yes, which is amazing. Our highest Patreon tier. Rikki is the best. We get to play

games soon together, so I'm super excited for that. Yeah, me too. I actually need to reach out to Rikki about that to get it scheduled. But basically the, you know, just to promo that tier, the rewards are, you get to play a game with us once a quarter, maybe a board game like Betrayal at House on the Hill, or alternatively, I can run you and a friend through a fairytale themed tabletop RPG adventure. It's pretty cool.

It's a pretty sweet deal. I've never done that yet. So yes, I'm very scared. I'll go easy on you. You'll love it. We're going to play something super easy that doesn't have a lot of rules because I honestly can't keep track of a lot of rules. Says I who's going to be doing a GMing a Starfinder show in April.

But whatever. It's fine. I'm doing great. We also want to thank another new patron, Noah, joined at the Witch's Apprentice. Thank you so, so much. We are so excited to have you. And yeah, you're the best. You guys are so awesome.

We are incredibly grateful for your support and that you're the best. You guys are so awesome. Yeah, we are incredibly grateful for your support and that you like the show enough to actually shell out some cash for us once a month. We really appreciate it. If you're also interested in coming in and supporting us, we have a variety of Patreon levels and tiers available and you get bonus episodes, early access, you get a shout out during our listener episode, like right now, and merch, books, and other neat rewards. So go check

that out. Fairytalefix.cash. And the bonus episodes that are coming out soon are really awesome. Oh my god. They're some of the best. We pick, we save the best ones for our Patreon exclusive episodes. We really do. Can confirm. So yeah, go check that out. All right. Well,

do you want to tell me some tales and listener tales? Yeah. Let's go ahead and get this started. My first contribution to this episode is not my contribution. It's Manda's contribution. Manda sent us an amazing Tumblr screenshot about the German fairy tales collected by someone named Franz Xaver von Scharnworth. I think that's how you say his name. His Wikipedia page lists him as Franz Xaver von Scharnworth, civil servant, which I'll say.

That's a great title. Thank you, Franz. Right? Franz Xaver von Schoenworth, Civil Servant, which... That's a great title. I'll say. Thank you, Franz. Right? Because he collected 500 fairy tales, and they've been hidden away in a Bavarian archive for about 150 years. And he was collecting them at around the same time the Brothers Grimm were collecting theirs. And according to an article that I found

in The Guardian about this, they're all new. There are 500 stories that have not been heard before in this iteration, including a story about a maiden who escapes a witch by transforming herself into a pond. And then the witch lies on her stomach and drinks all the water swallowing the maiden who then uses a knife to cut her way out of the witch i love it so much i am desperate to find english transit translations i couldn't find any i cannot wait to read these that sounds like so much fun yeah they sound amazing i'm currently trying to hunt down English translations for us to do and we'll see I am very excited about it though Amanda thank you so much for bringing that to our attention my first listener tale is from Sarah who emailed us at

info at fairytalefixpod.com and she says hello when I was little I was super into believing in magical things like fairies and trolls, etc. Which, same. I was the annoying little sister and I was always trying to hang out with my big sister and her friends. Which, also same. So, one day, just to mess with me and get me away from her, my sister convinced me that whenever I saw any kind of rock or branch or anything in nature, really,

that looked like a face it was actually a fairy or troll or nymph or something frozen trying to hide from me. Cut to me following my sister and her friends around the park one day and they all stop in unison staring off at some tree. Not getting the hint that we were supposed to be quiet I asked her why we stopped walking. She and her friends pointed out to a tree over yonder. And what do you know? The tree looks like a face. My sister whispered quietly that it was a giant troll in hiding. And if we got too close to the tree, it would eat us. That's adorable. Nice. I love it. Wait, so what happened next? Is there more? We all had to count to three and run to find a hiding place from the troll.

Being the younger, gullible little sister, I believed her 100%. She counted to three and we all ran as fast as we could, hiding in various spots throughout the park. My sister and her friends used this opportunity to ditch me and leave me hiding from a tree for what seemed like hours. tree for what seemed like hours. Eventually, I collected up the courage to run from my hiding spot back home where my mom yelled at my sister and her friends for leaving me behind. Thanks for the podcast. I really enjoy listening to these crazy stories. Sincerely, Sarah.

Be still my heart. That's a terrible story. Your sister's very mean. That sounds like exactly something from my childhood. My sister was always doing the same things to me. I just can't imagine being that. Okay, maybe it's older sibling brain. Maddie, if you're listening and I did similarly terrible things to you, let me know.

But I didn't have friends. So there was no one around for me to impress. My sister did stuff like that to me all the time. But we're like basically best friends now. So it worked out. But yeah, definitely not when we were little. Wow. That's amazing. Oh, great story, Sarah. Thank you. Oh my God. Please keep sending those to us. So I have someone wrote in with an alternate fix for the devil episode. Oh, I love it. Specifically, Heidi's fixing my story.

I thought she might have something to say about it because I think that's one of her favorites, right? Yes, it's her. It's one of her favorite fairy tales. She slacked me as soon as she finished listening to it. think that's one of her favorites, right? Yes, it's her. It's one of her favorite fairy tales. She slacked me as soon as she finished listening to it. She's like, okay, I have a different fix for this story. So I was talking about how I was disappointed that the devil doesn't win in Why the Sea is Salt. And Heidi made the excellent point that arguably the devil does get souls because all of the people who have died drinking

the salt water since he gave up his milk oh interesting i love it and that maybe a good fix for the story is to make that explicit at the end or to make it so that it's part of the deal the devil makes with the man with the ham that he wasn't allowed to tell other people how to use the mill properly so that the devil would get his souls that's a great fix yeah that's an incredible fix that is so much better than my fix all all glory to heidi and thank you for the story recommendation that is definitely one of my favorites right now it's such a good story i mean and clearly since it's one of my favorites right now. It's such a good story. I mean, and clearly, since it's one of Heidi's favorites, she's spent some time thinking about this story,

which I think is why she had such a bomb aspect. Oh, yeah, for sure. And just, wow. Thank you. My second listener tale is from Katie. Hi, love the podcast. It's the perfect show to act as a palate cleanser after listening to too many true crime podcasts. I heard your call for listener stories and thought I'd send one in.

So here goes. When I was super young, like seven maybe, my grandparents had a pet turtle named David, which is such a cute name for a turtle. Pets with person names don't do it for me in the same way because i just there's other stuff there are other names unless it's like a fictional character i think it's hilarious this is fine no shade on david the turtle or no shade on katie's grandparents for having a turtle named david so she says one day while i was watching david crawl around on the living room floor my grandpa told me that he never

liked that turtle. When I asked why he whispered to me to come join him on the couch. He told me that my grandma was a witch. Okay. Alright. He told me that my grandma was a witch and that she

had turned her ex-husband into a turtle. And they had to keep him alive as a pet because she felt so bad about it and couldn't reverse the spell. Later that day during dinner, I outright asked grandma if she was a witch. And all she did was laugh and laugh. And I never got an answer. Katie. Oh, my God. That's so good.

I need more. did she ever confess she just laughed and never gave a straight answer also did you ask to become a witch yourself because that would be pretty dope teach me your ways oh that's so cute i want to know why the grandpa really didn't like the turtle. I love that idea. Yes, that he's jealous of the turtle. So funny. Thank you, Katie. That was amazing.

Oh, my God. Okay, so my last story for this Listener Tales episode is this is actually a tale from my partner, Stephen. actually a tale from my partner, Steven. And he used to go visit his grandparents in Oklahoma when he was a kid. And his grandfather would tell him this story before bed. Usually after Steven had already stayed up all night with his grandmother watching the X-Files. Cute.

That's so adorable. I know. It's adorable. He tells me that like his grandmother used used to rub his back while they were watching The X-Files and he'd get all drowsy. Then his grandfather would tuck him into bed and tell him this story. An old woman, lonely and widowed, goes to sit on her porch one evening and sighs, oh, won't someone be with me this cold and dreary night? And a voice whispers out of the darkness, and dreary night and a voice whispers out of the darkness i will but there doesn't seem to be anyone else there so she goes inside goes to sleep same thing yes this is a horror story same thing again

the next night she sits on her porch and sighs oh won't someone be with me on this cold and dreary night? And a voice replies from the dark, I will. But again, there's no one there that she can perceive, so she goes to bed. And on the third night, when the old woman goes to sit on her porch and sighs, Oh, won't someone be with me this cold and dreary night? A voice right beside her ear whispers i will and then at this point steven's papa would pounce on him and tackle him

oh my god i know it's so adorable and It's so cute. And that's why Stephen loves horror movies. I think it was instilled early on. Like his grandmother was obsessed with the X-Files and then his grandfather would tell him this story. That's. And so Stephen likes creepy stuff. That's the best. I'm definitely going to tell that story to me.

It's so good, especially just because he says he remembers like, he knew how the story went, but he would just sit with rapt attention listening to his grandfather tell the story because he knows what's coming at the end. And he'd still like shriek and try to get away every time his grandfather pounced on him at the end of the story. Super adorable. I love stuff like that. It also reminds me of my mom used to do this thing where she'd make her rhyme out of mine and my sister's names. And I don't remember my rhyme. I'm sure she knows and she's going to listen to this episode and tell me immediately what my rhyme was.

But I remember Maddie's rhyme. It was, Madeline is not 10. Madeline is a pen. Madeline is a dragon. And then she'd like attack us and tickle us Aw that's so cute It was adorable We loved it

Oh my gosh that's the best We begged her to do it all the time To my great aunt Froney We would be sitting at dinner And if either of us My sister or I would sing Cause you know I think Philly kids sing all the time

I just sing all the time constantly and Fernie would say sing at the table whistle in bed old lady midnight will snatch off your head I love that

and I say it all the time every time I anyone sings at the table or if anyone's ever whistling in bed that comes to my mind I was just about to ask who was old Lady Midnight?

Where did she get Old Lady Midnight? Is that a Danish thing? I have no idea, but it always scared me because I was always, anytime I would sing at the table, I would think about whistling in bed just to see, but I don't want her to snatch off my head. That's so creepy. I love that stuff. If you even have a short story just a little

something like that definitely send it to us all right you said you have one more yeah well this last tale is from aurora she messaged us on facebook and she says so i'm several months behind but i come bearing hansel and gretel retelling recommendations. Ooh, okay. They're all really freaking dark. There's no way to lighten the story. I might pronounce this name wrong. This is the name of the author, Leah Bardugo. Lee Bardugo. I've read several of her books.

Oh, nice. So Aurora says, Lee Bardugo wrote a collection of fairy tale reimaginings set in her universe. If you hadn't read her other stuff, it's not dependent on that. This was the first work of hers that I ever read, and it is lovely and aesthetic AF. It's called The Language of Thorns. Have you read that one?

I have not read The Language of Thorns. And she's written two series that I love. She wrote the Grishaverse trilogy, which is okay. It's all based on Russian folklore and that part's really cool and well-researched, but her writing just isn't that good yet. But then her second series, it's set in the same magical universe in a fantasy Amsterdam, and it's like a heist book. That's super. The Language of Thorns, it's on my TBR. The Language of Thorns, it's on my TBR. The book itself is beautiful. I am kind of curious to see how she interwove traditional Russian stories with her fictional magical world, which the

world building of it is genuinely pretty awesome. Cool. Yeah, I want to read this one. She has a Hansel and Gretel Vasilisa Gingerbread man inspired story called The Witch of Duva. I definitely want to check that out. This is my favorite part of Aurora's message, though. Secondly, the truth about Hansel and Gretel was a 1960s literary hoax, which claimed that Hansel and Gretel had been adult siblings who murdered a rival baker for her famous gingerbread recipe. murdered a rival baker for her famous gingerbread recipe. The book had photos of the supposed remains of the original recipe and cottage, as well as a detailed description of how it had been found. There's an article about it here.

And she puts in like an article from Atlas Obscura, which I will post on our Facebook page. And I'll put it up on Twitter, too. Yeah, this is hilarious. This hoax is from a German children's book writer and cartoonist, Hans Traxler. And it's so elaborate. I'll post these photos to Instagram. He made up archaeological evidence,

including like the fatal gingerbread recipe and a fake piece of charred gingerbread and even the partially charred remains of the witch. And the media picked up on the story and turned it into national news. And a German tabloid even came out with the headline, Hansel and Gretel, a duo of murderers. Oh, my gosh. Like, this article is so good. I want to get this book.

so good i want to get this book so according to dr claudia schwab a fairy tale researcher at utah state university the hoax was so sophisticated that it fooled even a lot of academics and scholars in the field according to hans traxler himself he wrote the book the truth about hansel and gretel for his own amusement and from atlas obscura it says of course none of it was true but the 120 page book contained more than 40 photos drawings and models which made the convoluted tale look quite convincing traxler himself posed for the osseg lad and a colombo like raincoat a leather hat sunglasses fake beard and mustache photographer pete von Triskell and I had so much fun taking the photos that sometimes we would find ourselves lying on the ground laughing, Traxler recalls. And some people actually still refuse to believe that it's a hoax.

I mean, that tracks just with human beings and conspiracy theories and whatnot but oh oh my god that is so so funny good i love that yeah i love it thank you aurora so much for sending this like that just feels like it's it's an excellent prank and it kind of feels a little bit like very intense fan fiction. He took this like fan fiction version of Hansel and Gretel to the extreme. That even scholars like believed it. Yes, that is so fun. That is so cool. Yeah, I definitely want to get this book just to have and like read through it

because it's so much fun. Aurora finishes her message. I also once upon a time in the misty mountains of memory read a short story in another collection told from the stepmother's point of view and ending with the children trying to shove her into the oven

it was possibly the creepiest thing I've ever read but I don't remember any title, author or anthology details Google thinks I'm looking for Hansel and Gretel devil children but I can't find an excerpt to confirm. Cheers, Aurora. So if you happen to be listening to this and know what she's talking about, shoot us an email at info at fairytalefixpod.com. Because that sounds also like fun.

Oh my gosh. Wow. Okay. Also, Aurora, I love your writing style, like the misty mountains of memory. My God. I know. Isn't that pretty? That's very good. So thank you so much to everybody who wrote in to these listener tales hearing from you is honestly the highlight of doing this show we've all got these stories and we are so fascinated to hear everybody else's so please do continue writing into us with your own stories weird horror stories your grandparents told you mean things your older siblings did to you your fixes for our stories

we would love to hear more of those because yours are probably better if we're being honest and please oh please more fairy tale hoax books? Yeah. Amazing. More fake fairy tale true crime or real fairy tale true crime, if there's that somewhere? I don't know. That'd be great. Seems plausible. It's totally possible. And you can send those to us at info at fairytalefixpod.com.

You can also get in touch with us on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook at Fairytale Fixed Pod. And please also, if you've got the time, subscribe to the show and give us a review. That would be fantastic. We'd really appreciate it. Or feel free to share it with your friends. Yes. If you think they'd like the show. Please share it with all of your friends and family if they're at all fairytale inclined.

And don't mind a lot of cussing. We actually did get a couple of cussing. We actually did get a couple of people who told us we do that too much. So go listen. You might want to listen to a different show because I don't think we're going to stop doing that. The end.