Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 309: My Dirty Secret

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

On this week's episode, Cox can't express his feeling to Jordan - so he goes to stay with JD. Carla can't take a joke. In the real world, Zach, Donald, and the crew are feeling the quarantine blues. Fortunately, an inspiring fan-calls helps lift everyone's spirit. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Walter Isaacson about the geniuses who changed the world. Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yo, hey, hey, hey, hey. There he is. You're so beautiful. Look at you I missed your face, I needed you this week Did you? I needed you this week, man

This has been a rough week Me too, man, I was just telling these guys Before you got on We're here to do a comedy podcast And I promise you we will Switch to Chipper, but I can't Help but say I'm feeling a bit Just melancholic about the earth and COVID.

Yeah, just everything, right? I mean, just before he got on, they said they're going to fucking probably have to close down New York City schools again. They're going to probably have to do that. Listen, man. I know. I know. It's horrible. And then we were talking about Trump not conceding.

And I just feel like a little over COVID. Like, I'm sure everyone listening, I'm just kind of like, meh. That's the other thing, man. You know, our kids are back at school. And, you know, this COVID thing is on the rise. California reached a million a couple of days ago. COVID cases. Wait, your kids are going physically to school? Yeah, man.

Social distancing and everything. Masks on. Spread out. They need it for their brains, man. I can't keep them home. No, I know. I know. I know.

I get it. I get it. I get it. I don't know, man. Hopefully these vaccines work and we can get out of this. I just want to know that I work. I just want. Listen, man, if it does hit, man, I want to be on the list to get that Regeneron, whatever that shit the president got, the Regeneron, whatever that shit is.

I don't know if you're going to get the special secret presidential cocktail that he got. That cocktail, man. I want that. Yeah, that's that he got. That's that cocktail, man. I want that. Yeah, that's that special shit. It was like from stem cells and cost like a million dollars. Yeah, exactly. What was the name of it? Like Regeneron? Regeneron, you got it. I got it right.

Oh, snap. Look at that. Look at Donald with the big brain. Look at the big brain on Donald. Anyway, I promised to cheer up, but I was happy to see all three of your faces because I'm sure like a lot of people listening, this is heavy. It's a lot. We at least are blessed to live in Southern California

where the sun is out and it's beautiful. There's people sitting in the fucking pouring rain and snow and dark all the time. Right. It's tough? Yeah, man. This is crazy. Joelle ain't talking, so you know this is. Jo. It's tough. Yeah, man, this is crazy. Joelle ain't talking,

so you know this is... Yeah, Joelle's feeling it. Before you came on, before you came on, Joelle was talking about how she too feels it. We need to put on some Coldplay and cuddle in the corner together.

Oh my God, yes. And it was all yellow. My shrink tells me that when you're feeling down, even though it's hard, you have to do something that is the opposite behavior. You need to do something that makes you happy. Even if you're like, I don't want to fucking do anything, you got to go fucking do it. You got to go do it.

There's not much to do because of COVID, though. We're on lockdown almost again. In your example, you could go play a round of golf. No, you can't because it's locked. Listen, this is what's- Is it locked down golf yet? They probably will by the time we're done recording. Golf is now, it's messed up because people are-

So you know how when your favorite sneaker comes out and you're sitting at the the uh button and you're hitting refresh refresh refresh refresh over and over again that's what it's like with t times for municipal courses now you're literally like weeks a week in advance it used to be if you had a card, you know, you had an advantage on everyone else. Now that's out the window. A week in advance. It's almost impossible to get a tee time at the time you're looking for. It's horrible, man.

It's horrible. Golf right now is, it's ruined in California unless you get a tee time. Unless you got somebody with the hookup and can get you a municipal tee time or got a, or got a, or got a. I think Bill can help you, by the way. Wait, hold on. Let me put, what? No, go ahead. I'm going to tell you.

I think Bill Lawrence can help you because he's got access to a fancy country club. Word, because that's what you need, man. Unless you got a friend. It's almost like a, it's like, you know how people tell you don't buy a boat have a friend who owns a boat right yeah that's what it's like with golf now it's so expensive and it's almost impossible to get that if you have somebody that has a membership at a country club you are in luck if they call you up and they're like listen bro, bro, how are you, man? I haven't seen you in a while.

It'd be nice to get out and go play golf with you. None of my friends have done that. Only one or two people have done that. You know what I mean? I'm calling out to all my golf buddies. Where y'all at, man? If you're listening to fake doctors, real friends, I need some sunshine.

I need some air. I'm sick of this motherfucking closet. I'm sick of living like this. I want to be happy again. I want to freaking play some golf with you. Even though, look, we might not even get along. We might even have beef. Yo, as a matter of fact, you might hate

my guts, but for five hours I will be your motherfucker. I will be your friend. I will be your homie. I'll be your G. Let's get out and play some golf together, you and me. Get to tea time. Make it happen.

Does Oculus not have a virtual opportunity for you? Do you know how stupid I look in my house with a fucking pair of goggles on? Swinging my arms around like I'm playing golf. You're not alone. Do they have Oculus Golf? Yes. Yeah, but it's not the same thing. Donald, have you tried it?

It's not the same thing. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. And I will try it. Now that I know that it exists, I will try it. I feel like this is a good argument for you to say to Casey, for my mental health, honey, I need a fucking golf simulator.

My life would be so awesome if a golf simulator came through right now, especially with lockdown coming my way. It's like life is – I can see – everybody sees it coming. Are they going to shut down LA for real? Hell yeah. We reached a million. We're trending upwards. No, I'm asking unless you're an essential worker, you're not leaving

your house? They'll probably do some sort of stay-at-home order. They'll probably close bars and restaurants and gyms again, and they'll probably just leave essential businesses open. Yeah, probably. Within how long, you think? I think they'll probably just leave you know essential businesses open yeah probably like went like when within how long you think i think they'll try and do it around uh thanksgiving to keep people from going out for black friday oh that's what i think you guys i know this podcast

is meant to cheer people yeah well celebrating now well, celebrating in the street. Hold on now. Now we need cheering up. We need to watch. Dude, celebrating in the street didn't help, guys. That shit didn't help. Of course. That was idiotic. That shit didn't help. What the fuck, man? Look, Lakers, Dodgers, a Joe Biden win all back-to-back.

LA was getting hurt. That's just the fact of the matter. We got lit, dude. It was lit. We took three huge Ws, and then we just took the pit. Well, I fucking barely ever leave my property, so don't blame me. That's all I want to say. I didn't even get to see Daniel when he brought by my onesie prototype.

Did you see the onesie prototypes, Donald? I haven't opened up any boxes or seen any onesie prototypes. All right, so you guys, here's one bit of good news. We're making holiday adult onesies with me and Donald's faces on them. They are glorious, I have to say. The only problem is my face is too tan and yours is a little light. What are they trying to do? What are they trying to do with this?

I'm just telling you that our skin tones. They're trying to appeal you to the black community and appeal me to the white community by lightening my skin and darkening your skin. Is that what they're saying? They sent us the onesies and asked if they had any notes. And I laughed out loud. My girlfriend was laughing. Her friend was over. We're all cracking up.

It's because it's just so fucking ridiculous. You're going to want one. I'm going to want one. We're all going to wear them. But I said, my only note is like Donald and I, our skin tones are quite different in real life, but here they're a little too close. We look like we're cousins or something. So we just need some onesie skin tone adjustment,

and I think it'll be perfection. You have the both of them? You have them right now? I don't have them in my office here, but I have them in my home. Do they look cozy? Oh, it's very cozy. They're much softer on the inside. Much softer on the inside.

Oh, and you know what's funny? You should have seen what they wanted to send first off, guys. First of all, listen, this is how much we care about the merch that we're giving y'all. Y'all complained one time. We're trying to make it so you never complain ever again. Did you see me on Conan, by the way? I did see you on Conan.

You were magnificent. How funny was Conan talking about our washcloth? That was great. I love that you tried to dance around him washing his asshole. Well, I know from experience that he doesn't like comedy to go too blue, as they say. He keeps it pretty clean. And I've been on the show many, many times.

Conan loves me. I love Conan. I've done the show many, many times. Conan loves me. I love Conan. I've done the show many, many times. And I remember from years past that if a story ever goes a little too scatological or dirty, he doesn't like it. So that's why I was like, I wasn't like being like, we talk on the show, like, no, you've got to dig in your asshole with the washcloth. So I was giving him the PG version. Right. But yeah, I would have loved if you would have said one time, and you could wash your ass with me.

That would have been enough for me. Yes. He probably would have been fine with that. I was tiptoeing around. I was also tiptoeing around the African-American-Caucasian conversation because that's how it came up on the show. But I, of course, wanted to be as politically correct as possible. But I think I did a pretty good job.

I thought you were amazing. You were great. It was a great segment. You were very funny. He said he was going to put our ornament on his tree. Yeah, I love that. Thank you. Conan, please. Take a picture. Show it to us. Then he said he was going to put the washcloth on the tree after he used it on his ass.

Well, that would be great, too. Just take a picture of it. Take a picture and put it on social media and show all your fans that you're down with the fake doctors. That would be amazing. All right. I think if you sing the song, if we both sing our song, it might put us all in a happier mood. So, Donald, let's transform. Transformers, transform.

Autobots, Transform and roll. Determinate. Stories about a show we made. About a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate. I said here's the stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our. Gather round to hear our. Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. All right. Listen, I just the other day said – oh, sorry.

Your recap. Go to your recap. Do you really want to go to the recap? This episode is really difficult for me because – It's not a great episode. Let's just be blunt. This episode is really difficult for me because – It's not a great episode. Let's just be blunt.

Someone on Twitter did a graph of how long your recaps are and how close they are to 37 seconds. Did you guys see that? No. This is how into this show people are. They do like – with their free time, they do like graphs like this. How often Donald is – of all his recaps, how close he is to 37 seconds. I love it.

But let's see. Are you ready? I didn't, I want to say that I don't think this episode is that great. There's some funny stuff in it, but it's a little bit of a mad one to me. But maybe it's just because I'm in an ass mood. All right, you ready? Yeah. Go.

Cox and Jordan need a break from the baby. Carla wants a break from sex. Sex makes Elliot uncomfortable. And the janitor thinks he's found a new Vic. Part of me really didn't want to talk about this episode's meaning because it's about sex. And if you know me, you know how I can go on a tirade and on and on and on about sex. But I'll just leave it at this. We all need it, some more than others. But no matter what, everyone should get it the way they like it. That's a good t-shirt. Ding, ding. everyone should get it the way they like it.

That's a good t-shirt. Ding, ding. Everybody should get it the way they like it. 31 seconds, Donald. You're back to your original form. Yeah, it's about sex. There's a lot of sex in this episode, or at least talk about sex.

There's not a lot of showing of sex. Well, you know, Jordan and Cox do it at the end yeah now carla and turk carla says she wants to not have sex for how long six months so they get married till till till the wedding night till after they said i do well what was the length on that was it like six months i don't recall but it's definitely some time that's six months is a very long well especially if you're doing it already i don't even believe a woman would want to do that. She's just trying to pave the way for

when she says, I do, she's going to be like, okay, and no more sex now. Because that's how it goes. Maybe Carla doesn't have much of a libido, and she's just trying to be like, look, bro, six months. Yeah, no doubt. Yeah, absolutely. She's trying to make it so that Turk gets used to having to wait six months till the next time he has sex again.

So like, they'll do it on the wedding night and then he'll be like the next day, he'll be like, hey baby, we married. Let's get it on. And she'll be like, yo, you know what? Maybe we should wait a little bit more. Just think of how great it was the night that last night. And Turk's like, it was great last night. And she'll be like, well, let's just wait a little bit. They say when you get married, Donald, that the sex decreases substantially. night and turks like it was great last night and she's like well let's just wait a little bit they

say when you get married donald that the sex decreases substantially um i don't know if you have thoughts on that you know what i'm i'm never gonna throw my wife under the bus in any way uh shape and form shape or form i get it plenty i'm very you're satisfied i well we all know I'm never satisfied yes because you're insatiable we all know that I'm right I can

I want it forever and ever and ever and ever my wife is fine we've talked about it on the show several times

yes sir you've even drawn attention to her Instagram because of it so I I bet she gained some followers after I gave her that shout out I'm sure

and that's the exact way she wants to gain followers. I bet you people zoomed. She wants people to be like, I'm sure people are like, damn, where's that fans only? Yeah. Oh, I think it's only fans. Only fans? Only fans. I think if your wife tried to open an OnlyFans, you're allowed to object and say, honey, no,

you're not allowed to have an OnlyFans. Why not? There's so many women out there with OnlyFans. You'd be okay with your wife having an OnlyFans? The whole point is that she does like naughty shit on there to get money. All right, I'll say this. I'll say, right, I'll say this. What's the other stuff?

What do you OnlyFans? I'm not mad at anybody. I'm not mad at anybody who is doing that to make money you know i'm not either but i will say if my wife was like hey babe so i think i'm gonna start an only fans and like show my taint uh i'd be like no what if she doesn't show her face no i don't want. What if it's an alias? No. I wouldn't be comfortable with my wife showing her bits even with her head not showing. Why are you – I feel like, Joelle, help me out here. I can't.

I'm sorry. I don't – if my partner is in a sex work, that's how they make their money. That's what I'm trying to say, man. How are you going to hate on it? Bring it. How are you going to hate on it? If I choose to date a sex working person, okay, and let's say in that analogy, sure, I can't fucking fuck with their money and their life. I chose that.

I'm saying the scenario where Casey comes to me and is like, hey, babe, so I thought we could make a little money on the side if every Friday night I go on OnlyFans and open my ass cheeks. These proposals are amazing. I would be like, right, my eyes would, first of all, my eyes would get cartoonishly big. And then I'd try to find a way to finagle it back away from OnlyFans and be like, okay, well, maybe we should start someplace. That's a very big leap. Right. Let's start small.

Let's start small, honey. Let's start just you and me. Instead of OnlyFans, it's OnlyMe. Right. OnlyMe. You can just fucking get whatever website you want but it's gonna be called only me only me right exactly

we'll put it on we'll get a camera set up we'll get a chip and I'll you know however you want to do it oh man yeah I think I'd have problems with that but you know I call you black whale for the first time. You would just said that I, I didn't remember that this was one of your nicknames and I was right. And, uh, Oh,

interesting bit of trivia on this episode. It was clearly shot out of order from the order of the episodes I learned on scrubs wiki. I looked at scrubs wiki also. Cause I was confused. I was like, am I watching the right episode right now? And I went to Scrubs Wiki and looked. This was your first time at Scrubs Wiki. Yeah, but I was looking at it. What was the purpose of it? It was because it was out of order, but it was something else that came up in the show. Well, whatever.

For whatever reason it was, I was on Scrubs Wiki checking out why this thing wasn't making sense. Well, so just a little bit. It doesn't track because JD mentions he hasn't had sex in so long and he's all sort of down and he's alone. And also Elliot is on the come up again and is happy and Sean's back in town. Right. And Sean is supposed to be away. Mm-hmm. And he just mysteriously shows up.

So it's out of order. There was some reason they changed the order of the whole thing. Right. My sideburns are very long. Just thought I'd throw that out there. I have like Elvis-level sideburns. Let's start. This is directed by Chris Koch and written by Matt Tarsis.

Yes, Matt Tarsis. A very, very special man in my life. Also, Barry Boswick is on in the episode, which is really interesting for me right now because my kids are watching Teen Beach Movie. My daughter is. And he's like the grandfather in that. And it's a musical thing by Disney. And so watching that, I was sitting there.

I was like, how do I know this guy? Where do I know this guy from? He's been in so many things. So many things. He's in everything. But I was like, I know this guy. Like, I personally know this guy. Where do I know this guy from?

And then this came on, and I was like, aha! And then I figured it out. He's hilarious. And, you know, he was on Spin City. I think he's the fourth or fifth member of the cast at this point in the Scrubs run to come from Bill's first show, Spin City, to be a guest star. And, you know, he's been in a zillion things, and he was a Broadway star as well. And I think, if I'm not mistaken, he was the star of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Correct, Joelle?

I don't know. Can you double check that for me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he is hilarious. I thought, I didn't think this episode was that great, to be honest, but I did laugh every time Barry Boswick had a line. And one of my favorite things is when, you know, he's supposed to be playing this, like, Episcopalian or WASP-y,

serious sort of Connecticut guy. And the hardest I love when he goes, his wife, tells his wife to leave the room. No, no, sorry. I started saying, nothing's going to happen with your penis. He goes, hey! Don't you talk like that in front of my wife when she leaves the room.

And I go, well, sir. And I start to talk and he goes, hey! Go. Like, I mean, it's just so simple but it's so funny to me you're absolutely right he plays brad majors uh in the rocky heart picture show there you go i i that's another great soundtrack man great sound at the late night double feature picture show Uh-oh. Uh-oh. That shit is fire. You don't know that? I've never gone to one of those things.

Daniel and Joelle, you strike me as two people who have done. Have you? Many times. I have never gone one of those. I've only gone once, but it was a total, total blast. Oh, I would love to do that one day. Did they smoke reefer? I mean, yes.

Yeah. I bet they did. I think that goes without saying. I bet they did. I think that goes without saying. That's like the one thing that, you know, you go to one of those things and it's like a 42nd Street movie theater back in the day. You're definitely going to smell the reefer. So I went to one that was entirely drag queens. Everybody in the show, drag queens.

It was excellent. It was amazing. And it was out like underneath the stars. It was so pretty. Everybody comes in costume. I love fandom, guys. It was amazing. And it was out like underneath the stars. It was so pretty. Everybody comes in costume. I love fandom, guys. It was amazing. Oh, you saw like a play of it. Have you ever gone to like the actual-

No, no. What they do is they, Donald, they show the movie and fans go so crazy that they get up on stage and they act out scenes and they say a toast and people throw toast. And there's like all this stuff that you do, right? You bring toast. No, I know that when I was a kid. Okay, this is a very interesting story and i hope i get the teacher's name right because if i get the teacher's name wrong and the person didn't do this they could get in trouble or i'll just edit it out but this was back in the day mr thatcher i think it was

day mr thatcher i think it was seventh grade sixth or seventh grade he played the record the rocky horror picture show for us right it was a record and it was very long actually it was we had to do it in i remember it was like two or three uh periods so and was, I'm not sure if it was English. I think it was English. Anyway, so we did it three, it took three days to do it. And he played it on the record and he played it with the crowd going along with the movie. So the movie's playing, the record's playing the movie, right? And then, but it's also playing like somebody recorded a session of the rocky heart picture show do you understand what i'm saying yes

and i just thought i remember thinking this is really inappropriate for us in seventh grade yeah it's pretty inappropriate for seventh grade probably and uh and i remember thinking oh well there's no way I'm going to ever see this. But I lived in New York. And so as a kid, when you would ride the train home, you would see all of these people coming from the show that night. You know what I mean? At midnight, when you're out late, and you'd see a bunch of people. And then they stopped doing it.

I remember it shut down and everything. I don't know. How did we get on Rocky Horror Picture Show? Well, well, because we learned that our guest star played Brad majors in the original film. Let's get back to the show.

Elliot. I did not know that we did this. I was very shocked that Elliot goes to give a woman a pelvic exam and the woman has an orgasm. Now I, I just can't believe that that could be a real thing. It just doesn't seem to me, and again, I want to remind everyone that I don't currently have a vagina,

but I feel that if a doctor was in there examining her, it would not lead me to orgasm. Oof. Okay. Does anyone have any comment? It would be shocking if it did. I don't know. Vaginas work different. Not all vaginas are the same.

You know. I was about to say there's gotta be somebody out there that likes that shit. Right. So what you're saying is it's just like the one from Little Shop of Horrors. The dentist played by Steve Martin, who scares all of his patients, and then Bill Murray comes in and loves the pain. And you are something special. You are something special. There's probably, of course, because there's a zillion kinks and a zillion people into everything, there's probably a woman out there who does get off on having a pelvic exam. Yes. Well, Elliot found her.

I think there are a bunch of men that get off on getting fingers in their butthole, too. Well, no, that we know because that's a thing. But you're saying when they have their prostate, that'd be kind of embarrassing if you're a straight man and they're doing the prostate exam and you got fully hard. I wonder if that ever happened. Or no, if you went to orgasm too. Yeah, and the doctor's like, bro, I have to do a quick prostate exam. You just came all over my head.

I'm sure it's happened. It's had to have happened before. It's had to. I'm just surprised that it works, honestly. Somewhere out there. Can I press the willy talk button now? For fuck's sake, just stop talking about your willies. Sorry, Deb. Sorry, Deb.

I'm sorry if that got a little graphic. I was just surprised that on an NBC primetime comedy, we did a joke about Sarah making a woman come from a pelvic exam. But we did. So there you go. We did it. And then an awesome pratfall by Sarah right after that, dude. Very nice pratfall by Sarah. And then I have the fantasy

where my picturing it of it of course she's like a 25 year old model not the gal that Sarah actually did it to Mike Schwartz who's we've spoken about before who's one of our favorite uh funny writers who plays Lloyd the delivery guy makes his, not his first appearance. It's no, it's not his first appearance. The character's beginning to form though. This is like second or third appearance, but this comes after the joke.

Yeah. But let me double check with your mom. That didn't make you laugh. You didn't laugh out loud at that. That was funny. Carla's bossy and can't take jokes at her expense. That's the storyline for Carla. Well, that's what everyone assumes is that she can't take jokes at her expense. That's the storyline for Carla. Well, that's what everyone assumes is that she can't take jokes at her expense.

But she can take it as long as it's from people that she cares about. Right. But she seems to not like it so much so that when she comes home upset and breaks the sex, what do you call it? Lockdown. Yeah, whatever it is the but i i just don't know why anyone would want to do that to someone you know what i mean why anyone would want to just be like yo you know what we're gonna shut it down for six months because here's the thing i think you're coming at it from a point of someone we've already established has an infinite libido.

I think there are plenty of people who are like, yeah, sex is great. It's fun every now and then. No, I don't want to do it all the time. So I think I'm imagining – Carla was like, I love Turk. I love sex with Turk. But imagine how sexy it will be if we really hold out for a long-ass time and don't have sex. will be if we really hold out for a long-ass time and don't have sex. Now, Turk, who we can assume is a smidgen like Donald,

is quite disappointed at that idea. Yeah, absolutely. But this comes after he tells the janitor, who's now looking for a new victim because J.D. has stood up to him and has said, dude, you're recycling all your old pranks now and your little jokes on me. The janitor's now looking for a new victim. Yeah.

And he turns it on Turk. Finally, finally, there's a Turk v. the janitor. This is like the first time. Isn't this the first time you guys have had anything? This is the first time these two go mano a mano. And all because you took a basketball a shot at the trash can with a piece of paper yeah but well that's not why it's that's not what that's what kind of start that's that was like the icebreaker of hi i'm turk and the janitor being

like who are you again right what really does it is turk saying to him i'm untouchable you can't do anything to me there's nothing that you can possibly do that'll mess up my day but he doesn't really end up delivering on that sure he does why because he plays that song in the hallway he plays um we don't have to take off to have a good time uh-huh i mean maybe that's his only that's how he pranks you i mean that's pretty lame prank maybe there was something more to it i thought it was building and maybe it got cut maybe it got cut i don't know well you know you can't you can't introduce the janitor will now fuck with Turk and have the only thing be like, we don't have to take our clothes off. But it comes right after Turk finds out that he's not going to have sex anymore. And you can see how important it is to Turk throughout the show as he's talking about it.

She just said no. She was like right there in my face, looked me dead in my eyes and said to me, I don't want to do it anymore. It hurt me so bad oh my you know he's going on and on as jd goes into the fantasy so you know uh i think it does sting when it does when when the janitor does it but yeah you're right that is kind of it's not it's not as climactic as some of the pranks that he's playing out it felt like there was a missing scene or something. There's this old expression in writing, like if you introduce a gun in the first act, it better go off by the end of the movie.

And I felt like you introduced like the janitor will now take on Turk. And it was like nothing really ever happened. He just played a song that pissed you off. But yeah, maybe something I cut. Very funny line when Kelsoso says to uh sarah chalk um you need to be able to say penis or vagina or anal and sarah says anal's not a dirty word sir tell that to my wife so now we know that kelso has been turned down for anal sex with his multiple times obviously too yes so much so that she's like it's a bad word it's a bad word honey it's a bad word so if

you want it I don't know why that's not on uh on Scrubs wiki in this episode we learn that Kelso is not having anal sex with his wife. How about when I say, how about, wait, well, let's go back though. We forgot something. How about the janitor thinking that he was a mermaid because of the fumes in

the air ducts and having to give wishes to imaginary fishermen. Yeah. Cause he's in the air ducts, um, like diehard. Right. Um, uh, uptown girl got me through high school is something that jd says yes and elliot says schwing schwung so elliot and then and then carla takes out a playboy to try and make this is so so silly the woman's a fucking doctor and carla's got her looking at playboy

being like you need to look at this and say vagina and she's like she can't do it she's so uncomfortable oh that's what she goes it has a teardrop tattoo on it and and she goes what does she say she goes it looks sad is it sad is it sad yeah sad? She goes, she has a tattoo of a teardrop on her bajingo. Is it sad? That's a tough one, man. What? That's a tough one. Oh, gosh.

What? Vagina tattoos? Yeah, that's a tough one. It's a tough one. I don't far be it for me to tell anyone what to do with their vagina but I if I had one again this is the second time I'm theorizing this is the second time I'm pontificating on if I had a vagina

I wouldn't tattoo mine that's just me that one looked sad because of a teardrop how much would you have to be paid to tattoo your penis? Oh, not very much. Oh, really? Yeah, like $2 million, $3 million, I'll do it. Not very much.

$3 million. That's a lot of money. Yeah, well, some people would be like, fuck you, I'm not doing it for $3 million. I am of the ilk that would be like, yeah, $3 million? How big is the tattoo? I'm saying I bet you could do it for less. If I came over to your house with $100,000 cash and $100 bills in a suitcase, I think you'd be like, what do you want?

And you're going to tattoo my penis? I'm not going to do it. No, I'll have Dr. Wu do it, a very fancy tattoo artist. It would be probably an honor for him to hold that eel. That touched me. I kind of felt that inside when you said that. But how do you have to hold it like this, like a baguette? It's not even close to that.

All right. But no, are you telling our fans, our listeners all across the world, that if I showed up with $100, but no, I just, are you telling our fans, our listeners, all across the world that if I showed up with a hundred grand in cash and said, Donald, Dr. Wu is here to tattoo your penis,

you'd say no? How big is the tattoo, man? I'm not a big fan of painting my penis. It's just like my head like this, like with a smile. No,

absolutely not. It'd have to be way more money. Way more money. Way more money. No way. Oh my God. We should go to break. We should go to break.

I'm sorry, guys. We're so silly because we're trying to just get the melancholy out of it. Let's go to commercial. We'll be right back. Sorry. Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine. Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.

I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.

Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting, that's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox and take the Body Electric

Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations.

His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it,

and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. People give up right before they get what they always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox. You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death. He died of a brain tumor.

It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty. Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair. That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out of a dead end. And many, many more. Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. And we're back. We're back we're back how about how elliot has this horrible memory of jorge her mom the reason that she's so uptight sexually is that her mom was banging the pool guy in the potting shed yeah markie post is back on the show markie post is back and she says jorge i need to see you in the potting shed right right right after she says after she says don't ever let a boy put his whizzy winkle in your bajingo his whizzy winkle and she says something like my mom was always yelling at that my mom was always yelling at jorge in that potting shed

but she never fired him even after he kidnapped her and brought her to acapulco or something like that so stupid you said this wasn't a funny episode and we're laughing our ass off right now just put it out there, bud. I'm just putting it out there. Maybe my negative mood may have – I didn't think it's – I think that Barry Boswick was funny, and I think that Sarah trying to avoid using genitalia terms is funny. I thought –

It was a great cowboy switch when Judy rappels down the building and then breaks through the window. That was awesome. I think that was even a, not only a switch, that was a cut, Judy run in, and then pop up type thing. No. I think so, yeah. No, stunt woman comes through the window and then Judy pops up from the table. I'm telling you, I think there was a cut in there.

I'm just going to put it out there. This is something that maybe we should ask Bill about. No, we can go back and look and see if there's a cut. There's no cut. No, I don't mean there's a cut. It's like the lightsabers in Star Wars back in the day with Obi-Wan Kenobi. When they show him turn on a lightsaber or when Luke turned on a lightsaber and they had to cut. And then somebody runs in and hold the pose.

And then somebody runs in and screws in the lightsaber, and then runs out. Yeah, I don't think it's that. I really do believe it's that. Well, you're making me scroll the episode to find it, because I think you're wrong. I think I'm right, bud. Well, because I'm proud of a dope cowboy switch

when we pulled them off, and I think we did. I mean, it wouldn't be that complicated to have Judy hiding under the table. It's not like it's that advanced to do that. Well, there's not that much room for her to be able to do that, especially with somebody jumping through a glass. It's my point. Well, I can't find it.

So if you're watching this and you care, I don't think there's a cut point in there. And I think our stunt team did a fantastic job there. It's not a cut point, that little blink, that little. Yeah, you're saying they said everyone freeze and then put judy in no that's not how we roll that scrub i'm telling you that's what happens i'm just i love you man i don't want to fight all right um i'm wearing a onesie when cox comes over which uh it's just for no reason but um i guess jd is a big fan of onesies, as we know.

And I actually liked it. It was a beautiful onesie. I would have worn that. I'd wear that right now. Speaking of onesies, will the onesies be available for the Christmas season? They're going to be available. Yeah, Joelle, when are they going to be available?

Now that we've approved the... Now that I've given notes. Now that we've approved now that we've approved the now that I've given notes. Now that now that we have your approval we should be fast tracking. I think our goal was to get them out for the holiday season.

They have to be and you know we need to order a lot because when our fans go to buy stuff they're gone. I think these need to be ready to you know

if you order them then we can make them for you. I think we need to jump to that on that. I'm going to get our production team on the phone right now. No dude because to jump to that on that. I'm going to get our production team on the phone right now. No, dude, because people are going to want these. I'm going to buy probably 10 for my family.

These are going to go fast. Right. That's what I'm saying. We should make it so if you want them, you can get them. Right. All our shit sells out so fast. You know how hard it was to get Conan a washcloth? We had to like.

Really? It was an event. A marathon. Joelle was like, Joelle's full-time job became get Conan O'Brien a washcloth. I loved it. You know what? I love this. And you know why I love this?

I love this because that makes our stuff. Like supreme. It's one of a kind. Not one of a kind, but there's one of certain, only certain amount. And so, yeah, this time. You know what? You're right. For the onesie for this Christmas holiday, the onesie is a limited edition.

How many should we make? Like 500? And we're going to hit that refresh button to get it. Please. Jewel, how many should we make? 500? Sure. We could probably do that.

500 seems good. I feel like 500 people would want these onesies. They look stellar. They're super comfortable. 500 seems good. I feel like 500 people would want these onesies. They look stellar. They're super comfortable. It's cold. You guys aren't leaving your houses and changing clothes anyway, really. So this is perfect. It's perfect.

It's very cozy. It's very cozy. And Donald and I are both all over your body. I wish it had a poop flap, though. It doesn't have a sitting flap. You know what's crazy is not many onesies do. Only the old, like, western ones that, you know, the dude that stalks like this and lives near the outhouse? That guy.

Okay. All right. Well, the onesies are coming to a website near you. You just got to wait until Joel makes it happen. Oh, so I thought it was weird at the end where JD is like, everyone's having sex. You're having sex. Cox is having sex.

And then I'm babysitting. And I'm like, come on, Cinemax. And so I turn the baby around so he's not looking at the screen. And I'm like showing him a toy while I watch Cinemax. And then you're like, hello, Cinemax. Yeah.

There's a lot of weird things about it. Like Cox comes over to the apartment and stays with us for the night. And I'm sleeping on Rowdy. There's a lot of weird things in this. It's not our best, everybody. It's not our best. I don't think, I don't, wait, hold on.

I'm not going to say it's not our best. I think it's a very fine episode and has a lot of very funny moments. But it's one of those episodes that you could just put on at any time and say, this is Scrub. Like, if you needed to give somebody a definition of what Scrubs is, I think this is a perfect example of what our show- No, I disagree. Because it's not the funniest laughs, and there's no heart, really. We're known for wearing our heart on our sleeve.

laughs and it's not there's no heart really you know we're known for our wearing our heart on our sleeve i think well we're known for having really good special episodes if that's what you mean no but i mean a great episode of scrubs makes you laugh a lot there's some silly fantasies and then and then and then at the end somehow breaks your heart a bit and they don't all have to do that obviously but i think but i but but i think the majority of the episodes are more like this and i think the ones that stand out are like the ones you're talking about. All right. I want to talk about something that is controversial. I'm shocking that people are very upset that Baby Yoda is eating fish eggs, frog eggs.

They're unfertilized. Every one of you mofos that have eggs for breakfast, there are unfertilized eggs. Right. Everyone's all upset. But Joelle, you said to me on Twitter that you thought it's that people are thinking that Baby Yoda might be turning to the dark side. So, okay.

I had some people DM me and they were like, there's two conversations happening. There's a group of Star Wars fans who are like, yo, is this a pretense of dark side Baby Yoda? Is the child going dark side baby yoda is the child going dark side and then apparently there were some other like fringe group of people talking about how this was controversial and i missed that conversation i don't know what all of that

was about but me and my crew were like yo what does this mean like what's happening with the child because we've seen him do you know he's choked out some people. He can stop some fires. Like, he's that. Before we go further, Danil, before we go further, hit the spoiler button for everybody so that they know we're getting into spoiler warnings. Spoiler warnings! Oh, yeah. Sorry. Spoilers. But everyone, I mean, I don't know how you.

Yeah, you're absolutely right about that, Joelle. Your crew is right to wonder those things. I feel like, and now that we've come to, have you guys seen the latest episode? No, don't talk about that. Fire. Oh, so good. Listen, Bryce Dallas Howard can direct.

Yeah, she's got skills. Direct. She's got skills. All right, let's not do any spoilers. Listen, don't get into it. Don't get into it. Let's not get into it. But we can talk about, we're allowed to talk about the one I saw.

And I just thought, he's a kid. He doesn't know any better. He's hungry. Everybody calm down. They're unfertilized eggs. Well, it's not just that. It's also what they're showing, too. In the beginning of the episode, they're, you know,

dipping through the desert on the speeder bike. You know, he gets ambushed. He beats everybody up except this one guy has the knife on the kid. He convinces the guy to take the treasure that's on the bike and leave the kid. The guy goes for the treasure and is running away with it. And he kills the guy in cold blood. Get out of it. Just like kills him. Just, you know what I do? And not even, not even kills the guy in cold blood. Get out of it. Just slight kills him.

Just, you know what I do. And not even kills him quick. Kills him fast. Slow. Takes him up into the sky. So the guy's like, oh, God, why did I grab this? And then falls to his way, plummets to his death. So what's wrong with that?

He stole his shit. The kid's watching all of that. If you have children, the last thing you want to do is put your kids in that. Kill someone in front of them. Right. Well, no doubt. Write that down, everybody. Write that down if you're a parent.

He's grooming this kid to be vicious. He's grooming this kid to be merciless. All this kid sees is war and fighting and everything like that and that affects the force and it's going to turn this kid to the dark side at on this path this kid is going to develop fear this kid's gonna he already has i think you guys are reading into it too much i think he's a cute hell no this is what turned anakin to darth vader dude don't turn don't turn this in all right don't Don't start this shit. All right. Is the guest here, Joel?

Yes. Let's all cool off and invite the guest in because I know Donald's going to get really worked up about Mandalorian. Do we want to go to break first? Oh, yes. We'll go on a quick break. And when we come back, an exciting guest.

Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine. Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.

Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting, that's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his

performances in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready.

People give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests

to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox. You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it.

Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death. He died of a brain tumor. It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty. Old rock icon, Liz Phair. That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out of a dead end. And many, many more.

Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Scrub to Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Hello. Hello. Limitless answers. Hello. Hello. Hi.

It's Stephanie Crowe. Oh my God. All babies will now unlatch. Hi, Stephanie. Welcome to the program. Oh, this is surreal. Oh, wow. Hi. This is us. Zach, Stephanie. Welcome to the program. Oh, this is surreal. Wow. Hi.

This is us. Zach, that's Daniel and Joelle, and that's Donald Faison right there. Hello. How are you all? Shailen, how are you? We're really good. You're doing that spin bike. Is that a Peloton?

It is not. It is a cheaper version, but I use the Peloton app. All right. Well, good. Listen, we're just happy you're getting it because me and donald are getting it we were trying to we were trying to get that peloton deal going peloton went inside beyonce yeah i don't know why you would choose beyonce over donald and i but uh i guess beyonce is the new spokesperson for peloton i don't know why we can't also um what is the what is the beyonce aspect of it i

guess there's specific music hours of amazing music you can just pump it out to plus she donated um basically she's paying for a bunch of historically black colleges to have access to the peloton app so like their students can use their student email to log in for free and get access to like healthy services. And let's be honest, Cody and Beyonce together is hilarious and fun. By the way, Cody's gay, right? Cody's gay? He's talked about his partner. Okay, yeah, good.

See, I didn't know. Thank you, Stephanie. I didn't know if Cody was gay or not, and I obviously don't give a fuck, but I was just trying to guess because he's, you know, it was a little hard to tell, but then, yeah, I thought he mentioned his partner. Donald, you didn't know he was gay? I thought you were being facetious. Oh, because he's so gay.

All right. But I really like him. He's my new favorite. He's my favorite, dude. He's my new favorite. He's my favorite, dude. He's my favorite, man. He's hard, though. And he's hard, and he works you hard. For those of you out there who have Peloton bikes or Peloton apps

and work out with the Peloton crew, check out Cody. He's a lot of fun. And also Leanne Hainsby because I like her because she's British. And she says, all right, that section's done and dusted. All right, Stephanie, our spinning buddy. How are you? Tell us where you are. I'm in Toronto, Ontario.

Okay. Toronto, Canada, my favorite city. Yeah, Donald loves that. That's actually Dr. Stephanie. Oh. She actually wrote in with an incredible story and kind of asked so i thought maybe we could start with a is that how you prefer to be called do you prefer us to call you dr stephanie um i well i'm a phd not md so i'll clarify i'm a psychologist we still respect that my my mom is a psychologist we respect it yep so i'm like mom you're like indiana jones uh yeah different topic but yes but phd do you do like a clinical

in a sense you see people in your home or i i used to i um i actually stopped just before covid i do research now so i'm a child psychologist um And I actually ran a big study in the summer on COVID and teens and mental health just to see how they were doing. And I guess I wanted to advocate for teen mental health. Oh my God, you picked the perfect day. You've come to the right place. You picked the perfect day. Yeah, go ahead, Zach. No, I'm just, I'm, Joelle, as always, you're an amazing producer. You didn't even know that we'd all be feeling melancholic today.

But you weren't on the call earlier, Stephanie. We were just talking about feeling the blues. And to be honest, on a very serious note, I saw that the suicide rate is skyrocketing. And so there are those of us who are down and feeling it. And then there are, of course, those who are on another level. And that's terrifying. And so what do we do to help, Stephanie? I mean, I feel like I just tweeted out the other day proactively trying to help people who are suicidal in some way.

So what we're seeing, at least with the teens, is that relationships are like the most protective thing that we can use. So, and it's so hard, right? Because you can't be in person. So all of our relationships are online, which is so tough. But like with teens, with kids, I mean, parents are key, man. Like it's the attachment, we call the attachment relationship. So it's the, um, parents' ability to regulate their kids. So the more regulated a parent can stay, the more regulated the kid will be. So it's keeping your own mental health.

Fake it though. Right. I mean, it must be hard for parents who are really suffering and they, they sort of have to fake it in front of their kids. Right. are really suffering and they they sort of have to fake it in front of their kids right yeah it's so so tough and I think um empathy is such a powerful powerful tool that we could use so I always joke because I do a lot of work with teenagers that's my that's my group and I and I always say to the parents you know try to respond with some variant of that sucks. Don't try to fix it. Just understand where they're coming from. And it's amazing how powerful that is. And parents come back to me and say, you know, oh my God, they told me so much.

I had no idea what was going on. I had no idea what was happening. Can I go get my wife real quick so she can hear some of this conversation? Is that cool with you? Yes, you want, sure. It's your show, dude. You're allowed to do whatever you want.

Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine. Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.

You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting. That's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before

your inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television. in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations.

His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it.

And I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. You know, people give up right before they get what they always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox. You can't go around it, so you just go through it.

This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death. He died of a brain tumor.

It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty. Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair. That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out

of a dead end. And many, many more. Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.

Now, Stephanie, I'm sure there's a lot of people listening who would think, oh, yeah, you know, my kid gets down. They're a normal teenager, but they would be surprised to learn that maybe behind their backs, the kid is a lot more down than they know. So what are the, what are the warning signs that anyone listening might, might, and what can they do to just, to, to, to, to just make sure that they're clear where their kids at? So I think that's a great point. And actually we, we, when we did our survey in the summer, we, we looked at parents reports and youth and the youth reported actually over 50 of the kids said that they were at like a clinical level of depression which is huge absolutely huge um and then uh the parents actually reported that

their kids were more oppositional and had behavior problems So it seems to be coming out as like an oppositional argumentative, that kind of irritative personality, rather than say more depressed, down, moody. It can come out in a variety of ways. And that's where I think the empathy comes in, of just like trying to understand where they're coming from. If they come in and they're screaming, you know, screw you get out of my life. Just be like, wow, you sound really mad. Like what's going on. You know, it parents very quickly go to, let me solve it. Let me fix it. Or, um, they go to like, let me fix the behavior in the moment but realizing that that behavior there's something going on underneath that behavior can help the parent understand you know

what's going on for their kids and we know like in therapists uh we have what we call like the common factor so you talked about cbt on a previous cognitive behavior yeah yeah yeah yeah i've just mentioned that's been helpful to me yeah Yeah. And we've got that. We've got like the more traditional talk therapy they found when they actually tested all the different types of therapy. It's actually the relationship between the therapist and the client that matters the most. So the skills and the tools definitely help, but you can read tools in a textbook or you can read a book or online, but it's that relationship that really matters. I mean, this is Casey Donald's wife, and they've been talking about how they were excited. Casey Donald was talking about even though COVID's scary,

you wanted your kids to be back in school for their own mental health because they had such cabin fever and they were going a little nutty. Yeah, yeah, it was really bad. Yeah, at the beginning, nice to meet you. In the beginning of COVID, when all the schools got shut down in March, within like a month, our oldest started showing signs of anxiety. And we always knew he was a kid that internalized things. You know, if there was a hurricane on the news, we had to talk about hurricanes for like a week and where they were and all that stuff. to talk about hurricanes for like a week and where they were and all that stuff. And he developed tics from just stress and anxiety. And it freaked us out because we were in a complete lockdown and we thought, you know, gosh, we need a neurologist. We need all these things. And it turns out it was

just stress and anxiety. And these little kids, if they don't have the support like what you were saying just the relationship alone you know and the outlet to get it all out it just builds and builds and finds its way out any way you can we've learned that also that running these kids is so important also like uh exercise exercise and you know, putting them, you know, when we were kids, we ran until we couldn't run anymore. And kids aren't doing that right now because they're stuck inside. And or, you know, there's only a little bit of time that they are able to spend outside, like an hour, an hour and a half. And that's not enough for any, you know, that's enough for us because we're adults. And that's what we put in as we get older

but for kids you need way more than that I remember running until the lights went out the street lights I remember playing forever and ever and ever and jumping forever and ever and ever and that definitely relaxes

your mind and eases your mind kids don't have that right now that's very unfortunate forever, and ever, and ever. And that definitely relaxes your mind and eases your mind. And kids don't have that right now. And that's very unfortunate. It's very scary. Stephanie, to parents who are – I'm sorry. I don't have my headphones on. I'll shut up.

What do you say to parents who say they want to seek out some counseling? They might be worried about the cost of it, that kind of thing. Can you give our listeners some tips as to, like, how they might be worried about the cost of it, that kind of thing. Can you give our listeners some tips as to like how they might seek out help if they're worried about their – if they'd like to find some help for their child? We have a few of the apps we've advertised on here. We advertise BetterHelp, which I know has helped people. And Joelle, I forgot the name of the other one. Talkspace.

Talkspace. I don't know if they do children or not. And I also don't know if that's affordable for a lot of people. So do you have any advice on that? It's a fantastic point. I was actually thinking about that because I don't want to say, oh, get therapy to everyone because I know we're expensive. So some of the mindfulness apps that can keep the parents calm, like as I was talking about before, if parents can keep themselves calm and kind of regulated,

that then helps their kids. So some of the mindfulness apps that I've used, Calm, Stop, Rethink, it's been renamed now. Headspace is the one I use. Headspace, Mindshift is another one. What I typically say is that because they have all different voices out something else headspace is the one i use headspace mind shift is another one um what i

typically say is that because they have all different voices and some people like some voices and don't like others i say do the free trials and try the ones to see what you like and if you can't afford to pay for that then check out on the youtube youtube's got a lot of like progressive muscle relaxations or deep breathing um and they'll run through you know all of those things you might get stuck with the same ones over and over again but progressive muscle relaxation is a great place to start because it's very physical it's very easy for people to do um and it it's amazing how much tension we hold in our bodies hey none of this has anything to do with staring into a monitor or anything

like that. It's all listening stuff, right? Yeah. So all of the apps I'm talking about are all like listening. I mean, the YouTube, you could put it on a kind of like close your phone and just listen to it. It wouldn't be watching anything. I mean, there's also just basic things that we could be taking care of. You mentioned exercise is a big one I actually have a colleague of mine that's looking at that in our survey um exercising with your kids get out of the family family hikes family walks um play games together then we're building the relationship and we're exercising um and then maybe during one of those walks you could say I mean um um, you know, you know, again, I'm, I'm just making this up.

You're the doctor, but I would, I would think you could say something like, you know, if there's anything going on with you, I want you to know you can always talk to me. And if you're, if you're, if I'm noticing you're a little down or, you know, I don't want you to ever withhold anything from me. Even if you think I would be upset, I won't be upset. I mean, just to get your kid talking to you, Right. So they're not holding, holding anything in. Yeah. And I think modeling to being like, yeah, I get it. I'm anxious too. Like, but we can do this. We can do this together. So it's like acknowledging that we're stressed out.

We're all stressed out by this, but then also kind of empowering and being like, yeah. Like, especially with the stress when you were talking to ccc casey casey casey sorry i want to make sure i say they call her casey cob cc it's all good um so when you're talking about the anxiety messaging to your kids things like yeah of course you're of course you're anxious of course you're anxious. Of course you'd be concerned about the hurricanes or, um, but you know, we're safe here and I've got you and you can do this. You're strong. My mom would say to me something that I always thought of when I was a kid, she'd go, if you weren't worried about that, there'd be something wrong with you. You know? And I always, I always really liked that. Like if I was stressed, it's yeah. You know, my mom, my mom,

my mom's a child psychologist as well, but she, um, she would say that she'd go, I go out, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm worried about this. And she'd go, honey, if you weren't, I get it. I hear you. If you weren't worried about that, I think there was something wrong with you. That's really stressful. You know, that, that level of empathy was really always made me feel good. And also journaling. I got into journaling as a, as a kid. If you can convince your kid to write down the things they're worried about, and I know this would be hard to get some kids to do this, but maybe you have a kid that's open to it, to journal, to sketch, to draw, to sort of brain drain out there. We used to call it a brain drain in college writing exercise,

but like brain drain out whatever's on your mind, your feelings, your anxieties, your worries. And that, I think for me, that was a good exercise. Yeah. And help them connect to friends on the phone, on internet, whatever you can do, help them connect because it's our relationships are what's going to get us through this. It's true. And back to what you were saying about the parents, you know, the energy we give off, because at the beginning, when all this went down and these guys on here can confirm that Donald was paranoid, rightfully so, but to the point where we couldn't go out the house. We couldn't get in the car. We couldn't do anything. And I kept telling him, I was like, you have to calm down in front of these kids because

they're looking to you for reassurance meanwhile Donald's the one running around me like hurricanes well you don't need to worry about no hurricane hurricanes is the last thing you need to worry about that COVID gonna get us well we had we had also the earthquake and you know I said oh wow guys how cool was that? Did you feel it? That shit wasn't cool. And Rocco, Donald came running. He was like, get in the doors.

Hurry. He's like, what are you doing? Gacy's like the parent, like, when the kid falls and you're supposed to be like, yay, instead of, like, scream. And then Donald's like, no, my God, you fell. So I agreed. Calm down, everybody. I'm horrible when it comes to, I'm horrible when it comes to. I'm horrible when it comes to.

He's a flight. I'm not a flight. I'm the fight. I'm not a flight. I feel, Stephanie, it would be irresponsible if we didn't for a second talk about. There's no way we could fix her life, man. No, we're not going to fix her life. She fixed everybody else's life. No, no.

This is the first episode where you fixed our life. Casey came up for the free advice, man. She fixed Casey, my life. Casey and Donald are like trying to get in on our free therapy here. That's for our listeners. I feel like we should mention a suicide hotline for people that are in the most extreme of, of situations. Is, is it, is there one that you, is there only one? Is there one that you recommend, Doc, so we can make sure we at least provide the number to people? Yeah, so I don't have one number because I actually thought about this.

I have a website up because I was like, well, I should have one for the US and for Canada and for, and there's a whole bunch. I actually found if you look on Wikipedia, they have a list of crisis suicide lines and it gives you a line for every, almost every country. Okay. Yeah, that's true because we have listeners all around the world and we, listen, we care about you and we know how hard it is. But God forbid you are far enough along where this has even

crossed your mind. We want to make sure that you call someone because there's people who've dedicated their lives to helping you. The national prevention, suicide prevention line, it looks like that we have here in the United States is 1-800-273-TALK. That's 1-800-273-8255. But as Stephanie said, you might be in a different country and you might be listening to this anywhere. Apparently you can find all that by looking it up on Wikipedia or I'm sure Googling it. For kids in Canada, kidshelpphone.ca is a great resource. So will you say that slower one more time? Kidshelpphone.ca in Canada is a really great resource for kids. I couldn't find one that was similar in the US. I'm sure there is another one. Well, I'm sure if you're a concerned parent and this is something you want to look into,

a little Googling will, I'm sure, help you. And we can always put something up in the show notes. Yeah, Joelle will put a link up in the show notes. So this episode is a little more serious on both the front and the back end just because let's be honest, we're trying to make you laugh, but sometimes we have to admit that we're a little down ourselves. It's a hard time.

I think in the spirit of empathy, it's really great and powerful to let everyone know that, hey, I'm with you. I'm feeling it. We feel it too. Shout out to Joel for feeling the vibe. Because absolutely, you know, coming into this, I was definitely, you know, I feel like for me it worked today

because I definitely needed a distraction from what's going on. And this took me away wonderfully. And I tried to bring my wife in on it, you know, so she could, you know, talk about things also. Like, this was a great episode. It was like a warm bath. Yeah, it was wonderful. I felt like I was in a warm bath with all of you listeners. I hope everybody else feels that way, too.

You know, it's not... Oh, I'm sure someone's going to be like, this is supposed to be funny. Right. I'm sure. Well, you know, well don't at me with that,

please. Don't send that at me. Um, wait, we have some good news though, to end on a smile. Guess what? Stephanie,

because you're, um, not only, uh, a helpful PhD and helping children, not only are, are you our spin buddy, but we are going to give you the main prize

you can get on this show, a big ass pallet of GT's kombucha. Woo-hoo! Thunderous applause. Thank you. Do you like kombucha? We hope you like kombucha. You're going to love it.

I've never tried it. Oh, well, you're about to be trying a lot of it. Well, you're about to try a lot of it. Hopefully it makes it over the border. Joelle does know how to get GT's kombucha into Canada. That I can do. Amazing. Thank you.

You will love it. We love GT's kombucha. It's delicious. I'm drinking this one right now, Guava Goddess, as I sit here and talk to you. God, delicious. Is it tasty? It's delicious. I really, truly love it. I've never had the Guava Goddess. I'm going to try this to you. God, delicious. Is it tasty? It's delicious. I really, truly love it.

I've never had the Guava Goddess. I'm going to try this. Yeah, they go fast around here, these GTs kombucha. To our listeners, we love you. Stay healthy. Take care of yourself. Self-care. Do things that will be good for your soul.

Can I very quickly plug my study website? Just in case anyone's interested, because we're actually relaunching next week for a for the fall uh it's called teens at home during covid and the website is www.teensathomeduringcovid.com so any teens in canada can participate and that is in the show notes as well yes and that's a mental health study that you are doing. Yes, thank you so much for letting me do that. Please, please, we want people to help you help them. So, there we go. We are all in this together.

We are all in this together. And we are here for you, and we love you, and for God's sakes, we're making you onesies, okay? And they're cozy, too, and they come in all shapes and sizes. Yes, and the skin tint dilemma will be solved.

Zach will look white, I promise you, for all you people that are wondering. I promise you I'll look as white and pasty. I can't get that onesie if Zach's not white. Don't worry. I'm just nervous after all this blackface controversy that the onesie arrives and it looks like I'm wearing blackface.

Oh God. Oh no. I'm nervous after all this blackface controversy that the onesie arrives and it looks like I'm wearing blackface. Oh, no. But then I'm worried that people will be like, man, they're trying to make you look white on your onesies, man. You look great. They just made me look tan and we just look like we're like brothers. We are brothers. All right. We love you all.

And here we go. Five, six, seven, eight. We've got stories about a show we made About a bunch of doctors and nurses And a janitor who loved to hate I said here's a story that you all should know So gather round to hear our Gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch show with

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