Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 407: My Common Enemy

Episode Date: February 18, 2021

On today's episode, Elliot sleeps with JD's brother - in JD's bed, Danl's back and missed everyone dearly, and did our guests know Donald already?? Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hi, everybody. Aloha. Hi, Donald Faison. Aloha, Zach Braff. How are you? I'm good. And Joelle Monique and Daniel's back with us, everybody. I'm back.

Holy shit, Daniel's back. I'm checking my levels! Sound, this is my level! Hi, Danil. Hi, Joel. Danil, what was it like to miss a show? Did you feel left out? I don't know about left out.

I was certainly sad to not be there. I missed getting to talk to you guys for a day. Right. But it was definitely cute to sit back and listen to the show as a listener and just you know hear the bands hear the band was a funny episode I have it was a really funny episode I laughed listening back to it I laughed out loud a bunch of times I was in the dog park um a lot of great suggestions for the live show guys i disagree i thought some of them were great and i want to thank our fans for helping us because we don't know what the heck to do donald we're gonna make it up as we go along but i thought there were some good suggestions in there well yeah absolutely there were some

great suggestions but we said we weren't going to do a drinking game, and I saw a bunch of people say, let's do a drinking game. It's like, no, wait, hold on now. I said, why are you trying to peer pressure me? What's the peer pressure for? I'm saying, I saw someone say, we'll do a drinking game, but it'll be understood that because we're the hosts, we can't participate. We'll drink GT's kombucha or something.

You guys drink alcohol. Right. Yeah, you guys can drink. If you want to play a drinking game, by all means, let's play a drinking game. We will be the hosts of said drinking game. Right. It made me realize, though, one thing, that we should do it on a Friday night so people who want to imbibe can get hammered. Absolutely.

Bring the marijuana. And we're not going to smoke on camera either, man. Get out of here. Get out of here, dude. Get the fuck out of here. Someone suggested we get high on camera? There's no way that y'all are doing that. First of all, there's no way I'm doing it. I got sponsors.

Look. I don't think that's a good idea for us, but I promise it's going to be so much fun. We're going to... A lot of requests for Bill, so I'm sure we'll get Bill to come on. That would be nice. And then we're going to have a very special guest, Joelle. You'll have to really, really, really pick the creme de la creme guest. Got it.

Because this person is going to really be seen and heard across the earth. I wish we could do this on a soundstage somewhere where we had a couch and it was like we were Johnny Carson and freaking David Letterman. Or no, Johnny Carson and Arsenio Hall at the same time. You know what I mean? One day when we tour, we'll actually do it like real. But this is just like a bit of a Wayne's World kind of thing. You know, our basement, our mom's basement. And you don't think we should be in the same room?

I don't think we should touch anything. Again? That people are liking. Like, you know what I mean? Like people like this show. People like us touching. Bizarrely. So I think that we should stick with everything that's working. Everyone in

their same space. I don't think we should fix anything that ain't broke. Okay, so but you're going to wear a onesie. I'm probably, I was deciding today whether I should get dressed up and be a proper host with a tie because it's a special night.

Should we like make it kind of like a let's make a deal type of thing where if you wear fake doctors, real friends merch, real fake doctors, real friends merch on the podcast in some way, you're rewarded again for that? I don't know. I don't know how we're going to be able to see what people are wearing. Let's say there's... Let's not oversell ourselves.

Let's say there's 3,000 people. We're not going to be able to look at 3,000 people. No, you're probably right about that. So I don't even know how to – I actually asked the tech guys. I go, oh, can we do polls? Like, you know how you can do on Instagram or Twitter polls? Sure. And he said they don't have that technology yet.

That would have been so cool to be like ask the audience, poll the audience. That would have been great. That would have been awesome. That's a great way. I said, why can't you guys frantically have some really smart guys in the back room figuring out how to do that? They were like, well, we are. You didn't say frantically find some guys in the back room.

You called them nerds. I remember the meeting, and I remember what you said. You called them nerds, and I took offense to that. Why? You took offense to me referring to the guys who would figure out how to code nerds? I'm sorry. Yeah, I took offense to that. Why? You took offense to me referring to the guys who would figure out how to code nerds? I'm sorry. Yeah, I took offense to it. Is it safe to say that you're stoned today?

Oh, absolutely. It's always safe to say that. Just checking. This is where I'll press my bong button that I don't have yet. But Daniel, you didn't get it. Wait, hold up. You got the thing. I thought you sent the picture of it.

Oh, Daniel got it. No, it happened. It arrived. The guys will be happy. No, it happened. It arrived. The guys will be happy to know that the sound pad has arrived, and Daniel has it on his workbench. I can see it there, and he's going to fill it with sounds. Daniel, we got to go over which sounds I want on which pad. Do you want to know what I have picked already?

Yeah, let us know. Definitely, I told you I want bong hit for when Donald goes off on a tangent. It has to be like, oh. No, I want bong hit. We have bong hit for when donald goes off on a tangent like just it has to be like oh no i want we have bong hit with lots of bubbling yes good good we have the toilet flush we have the air horn why do we have the boot i don't know i'm just putting random sounds on there oh i have the requested you honor me i have the requested i love You, Zach from Casey. Yeah, from Casey. That one's good. I have the Bomb Explosion.

I have a Thunderous Applause. I have a Boo. I have Canned Laughter. Okay. Well, I have some ideas for you. We can talk offline about other things that should be on my pad. I'll also be able to use them as drums, Donald. I'm already starting to hate this idea, man.

It already has drum sounds loaded on it. You turned your key and I bought the fucking thing. I know I turned my key and you bought it. So now when we're getting excited and we're loading it with sounds... I didn't know you would be able to jeer people, man, with the freaking booms. I'm not gonna abuse it.

Bullshit, you're not gonna abuse it. No. I'm not going to abuse it. And bullshit, you're not going to abuse it. No. I know how this works. I know how this works. No, listen, I commit to not using more than four sounds per episode. I listened back to that episode where you were like, yo, and you're talking to Bill, and this is what you said. This is how you said it to Bill.

Bill, Donald said I could get the keypad as long as I don't abuse it. That's how you said it to bill bill donald said i could get the keypad as long as i don't abuse it that's how you said it right because i knew that i knew that bill was on right away gonna be like this is a bad idea this is such a bad idea but you know what i committed to it and guess what i want to try it i want a chance to prove like a child to his parents i want a chance to prove, like a child to his parents, I want a chance to prove that I can be responsible. I feel like this will be at least one to two to three episodes of laughter, and then all of a sudden it'll get annoying. But I feel like we're going to laugh for a bit. But then you know what I'm going to do?

Then what I'm going to do? I'm going to go light on it and not barely touch it, and then just when you think it hasn't been used, bong hit. It's going to be fun, dude. dude i'm excited i've always wanted to have a sound a sound effects machine am i the only guy that gets the bong hit sound or does anybody if you say something stupid do you get a bong hit uh no it's i don't smoke weed and do the program so well shit it's all shit you don't it's in your system dude you smoke weed after right i know i'm not an everyday smoker i you don't smoke weed no, dude. You smoke weed after, right? No, I'm not an everyday smoker.

You don't smoke weed? I definitely don't smoke weed doing this show. You don't smoke weed no more? No. I have indica sometimes to sleep because I have insomnia, and I find that indica doesn't get me stoned but helps me sleep. Okay, but you have that garden. I highly, no pun intended, recommend that.

If you live in a recreational or medicinal state, I've had a lot of success getting off bullshit pills for sleep and getting to something that is indica. I recommend it. You got that lovely-ass garden, man. Can I bring some plants over and maybe you can have your gardeners help me grow some of your weed? All right, Pat, there we go. If you would like to come over and work with my gardeners planting some cannabis, you're welcome to. Okay, there we go.

All right, should we count in and talk about scrubs? No, not yet. Joelle, do you have any suggestions of what type of crops we should plant? I just want to know what you're going to call your specific strain of weed. Oh, yes. Well, it's definitely a fake doctor's real friends type of – I don't know, but let's not get into that. I don't want to all of a sudden put our name – Let's not.

Five, six, seven, eight. I've got stories about a show we made About a bunch of doctors and nurses And a janitor who loved to hate I said, here's a stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Hey, hey, hey.

Hey. Did you, did you, everyone wants to know. I'm holding for 10 minutes the question everyone wants to know, did you find the time to do one of your dope raps? No, man, I told you, we're not doing it again until your episode. Oh, I see. Your episode is the special episode. So this feeling I'm having of sadness is real.

This feeling that you're having of sadness should not be of sadness. We're going to treat your episode like it is a glorious, monumous moment. Monumous? This is where Bong hit. Bong hit sound effects. Monumous.

No, it'll be mine. You know what? It'll be a special episode of Fake Doctors Real tonight on a very special episode of Fake Doctors Real Friends. Yep, that's what it's going to be. Exactly. So we're going to treat it that way.

Well, we didn't get Molly Shannon, I have to say. That's okay. That's so sad. That's okay. Sorry, everyone. She said the note. People, it's okay. She sent a note saying she loved her time on the show, but she's working and unable to do it.

That's fair. That's okay. We didn't want Molly Shannon anyway. We didn't want her on the show anyway. We didn't want her on the show anyway. Her, Ryan Reynolds, we didn't want y'all. We was bullshitting. We're putting them all in a room.

We should put a room of guests that we begged to come on the show and didn't. So far, Ryan and Molly are just chilling on a couch in that room. That's right. And one day, one day, you're going to need a favor. And I'm going to look you in your eye, and I'm going to say, you remember that time I wanted you to come on Fake Doctors, Real Friends? I'm going to do you this favor, but just know I'm better than you for that.

All right. Well, you can be the one to tell Ryan that. Did you summarize the episode at all in a non-dope way? That will be freestyle. Here we go. You ready? So I'm confused about what's happened. You went so – if you look at a graph, not your time graph, your dopeness graph,

you went so high and then you decided, you know what? No more. Only on special episodes. Now I'm just going to freestyle? Yeah, man, because it's all the same stuff anyway. All right. All right, well, here's Donald, everyone, with a freestyle summary of the episode.

All right, here we go. Turk's really good at operation. Dan and Elliot are dating? Mmm, mulattoes. I'm gonna keep it 100 with y'all. I don't know if I could marry the woman

my brother had sex with. Okay, now it doesn't rhyme. It's not supposed to rhyme. It was more like spoken word poetry. Mulattoes. I couldn't believe you said that. That had me laughing so hard.

It's such a racist word, dude. I don't know why mulattoes became racist, but I remember that word. That word sounds funny to me. Mulatto. Mulatto. It's so cringy that I said that. But it's Milano's, right?

That's the name of it? Absolutely. But you called the cookie a mulatto. All right. I'm sorry. That's funny. I'm sorry. That's funny.

Mulatto used to be a term for mixed, biracial, right? No, mulatto. Mulatto was, not mulatto mulatto was not mulano no i know and and and what's does anyone do any of you know the origin of of what that word i have no idea man i well might she's very smart i am very smart she's very smart it's a challenge i know i have a rough approximation of the history which is like it comes out of louisiana and it was a way for like light-skinned people to differentiate I have a rough approximation of the history, which is like it comes out of Louisiana. And it was a way for like light skinned people to differentiate from darker skinned black folks.

The reason it is a very touchy subject now is because of colorism. There's a rapper called Mulatto. And if you follow what's happening in rap lately, a different rapper recently came out with he likes it light skin. And like, it's just it's a lot of colorism issues baked into that which is that's you know what that's what sucks though man being a light-skinned person i'm not trying to hate on nobody ever you know what i'm saying and and and for some reason all the jokes are about light-skinned dudes man man. Why is it? I've been called khaki by black people. Khaki?

Khaki, dude. Wait, can I ask a really dumb question and forgive my ignorance, but so within, when you say about colorism, within the African American community, they're darker skinned people make fun of lighter skinned people?

No, it's, there's a, there was, oh my gosh, dude, there was a, there's colorism within the African American community. There used to be a thing called the brown paper bag situation, whereas if your skin was the color of a brown paper bag, you were considered better, dude. It's some bullshit, dude. dude. It's some bullshit, dude. The type of stuff that African Americans have developed within each other because of to try to control one another or to suppress one another is ridiculous. You think black on black crime is something? It goes even deeper than that. Systemic racism doesn't just affect you, just doesn't affect white America. It affects African-Americans just as much, dude. It's crazy how, this is another show entirely, but it's crazy how African-Americans have turned on each other in a lot of ways, man.

And now, you know. I have to admit, I'm naive about that. I don't really, I mean, obviously, I'm asking you guys to educate me because I don't really know about all that. When I was a kid, my brother used to call me white. He was darker than me. My brother Dada used to call me white because he knew it would fuck with me and get me so upset.

And he'd be like, you're adopted. You're white, dude. I did have a white person tell me I was white knew it would fuck with me and get me so upset. And he'd be like, you're adopted. You're white, dude. I did have a white person tell me I was white once, and it really set me off. I was like, what are you talking about? Yeah. If you guys want the actual, just because we've already brought it up, the actual origin of the word. Some people, and this is from, I think, dictionary.com. But it's a Portuguese word meaning mula, from the Latin mulus meaning mule,

the hybrid offspring of a horse and a donkey. So that's sort of offensive. Oh, well, there you go. That's not very good. Yeah, but then Real Academia Español traces the origins to mulo in the sense of hybridity, originally used to refer to any mixed race person. All right.

Well, if you're still out there and thinking that word is acceptable, we're here to tell you it's not. And in 2004 i referred to a cookie incorrectly it's a milano that joke is still funny though racist cookies aside racist cookies aside this episode is a weird episode. Didn't you feel that? Yeah.

You know, it was written by Bill Callahan, who I played basketball with. Funny guy. Tall guy. And Joanna Kearns directed it. And Joanna Kearns directed it. For those of you who don't know. Show me that Smile Again. Don't Waste Another Minute. Growing Pains.

Hell yes. Joanna Kearns, who was the mom on Growing Pains, directed this episode. Wow. Did we ask her any Growing Pains questions, Donald? I don't remember. Did we ask her about Boner? You mean, yeah.

No, we didn't. She had directed several, a few, I shouldn't say several, a couple of episodes of Clueless, the television show. One of the best episodes we ever had was like this Halloween episode, and she directed it. And when she came on to do Scrubs, you know, I just remember, I remember her style when she was directing,

and I remember thinking, you know, she does a lot of takes. I remember that. Yeah, lots of takes. And I remember thinking, but there's a method to it because when it's all said and done, the episode usually is really good.

This turned out to be a really good episode. I, you know. No, it's fine. I'm just saying, and I'm not, you know, sometimes I come on here and I go, oh, this one's mad. I don't think it's a bad episode. I'm just thinking it's just, it's, I don't know. It's bizarre. First of all, it's really weird.

I like to stay. I know it's a fuck. I always said last episode, it's a heightened reality. But it is pretty bizarre that Elliot would fuck my brother. That's crazy, dude. Are you kidding me? That's not bizarre. That's out of this – that should be the end of the show.

I can't do this. The show should be in credits right now, man. The will they or won't they, they won't now. They won't ever again. First of all, I would like to say that there's no way that he's going to go marry, like Donald said, a girl that was fucking his brother for revenge. I mean, this is what I understand. Is Elliot just found her way to give JD the ultimate middle finger? It truly seems like she never even considered him, which is just bonkers.

Even if there's a method to it at the end, and the method is like, you know what I'm expecting? I'm expecting Dan to be like, oh, no, we never slept together. That's what I'm expecting to come up. Because I don't remember what happens in this show but I'm expecting maybe that's going to happen but also Dan is such a fuck up he's like a drunk and he doesn't have a job

and he's just a ne'er do well and that's who Elliot decides to bone after we break up my brother are they boning or are they just making out they're two adults and she's in out? They're definitely boning. You think so? They're two adults and she's in a 90.

They're not fucking cuddling. Okay. Dan was using a blanket as a sarong. Yeah. What about how they're fucking in the hospital in the break room? They effed in JD's bed. They effed in my bed. They said fooled around, but okay.

I guess fooled around and effed is two different types of F's. Donald, do you think that those two are just doing heavy petting? No. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and you- Heavy petting. Isn't that a funny expression? That's what parents used to say. Heavy petting.

When you pet hard. I'm just trying to give JD the benefit of the doubt, man. I don't know if I could overcome this barrier after it's been built this is like the ultimate fu now you know what you suck so much i'm gonna bone your brother right it just doesn't seem it seems i mean it's i guess what you do on a tv show for drama but it just felt a little like what it was like was like, it falls in the category. It falls in the category of Cox punching me in the face and then we just move on. It's like, wait, she's fucking my brother?

Crazy. Crazy. I laughed at the first, the first thing I laughed at was when, when I'm in the bar and I said, was it, I'm getting a lot of attention from the lady. Was it the 10 pushups I've been cranking out every other Sunday? Now, what is with this fucking contortionist girl?

So as I understand it, she hits on J.D. You know exactly what's with this contortionist girl. You know the purpose of the joke. The purpose of the joke is to say, are you sure you don't want to hook up with me? Look how flexible I am. She throws her legs up over her head at the bar. I wish viewers could see

Donald's look. Donald, keep it holy. Oh, God. Running to the altar like a track star. Can't wait another minute. I don't know what this song is. What is that? You said keep it holy.

I don't know what that is. That's Justin Bieber and Chance the Rapper, holy. Keep it holy. Okay, all right. Okay. Yeah, so J.D. is turning down a woman who at the bar is showing him that she can put her legs behind her head to say, hey, are you interested in this? It does feel like she's presenting, right? She's presenting, yes.

I'm not tripping. No, she's presenting. Yes. I'm not tripping. No, she's presenting. Oh, man. Can you imagine that actress, or I don't know if she's an actress or a contortionist or both, but she gets a call like, hey, so here's the scene. We're going to need you to throw your legs over your head at the bar. All right. So then we find out that Kelso is drugging his wife by sticking antidepressants in Fig Newtons. Yes.

And when asked how much – How much he gives her. He said about half a Newton. About half a Newton. How much he gives her. He said about half a newton. About half a newton. First of all, he's a very experienced doctor, and he doesn't know the prescription amount that he's drugging his wife with.

He judges it by how much fits in a half a newton. That's funny. By the way, then we learn it's not even that she's depressed He just wants to kill her libido Yeah, because he doesn't want to have sex with her He doesn't want to have sex with Enid So he gives her an antidepressant That might Lessen her libido

Gabby steals a baby Yes, that's one of our That's the writer we had on the show that didn't watch the show, you guys. That's Gabby Allen playing the baby stealer. That was funny. Yes. I finally got that baby. That's a real thing.

I mean, they got to put all sorts of security tags on babies. It's scary. Yeah, man. Having a baby. You've done that. There's like tags on them. Dude, you go, they know it's your kid and they still scan you.

Yeah. They've seen you come in several times. You know how you go, all right, look. You have little, you know, connections that are made

in life when you frequent some place like over and over and over and over again. Like, you know. Like for you, the maternity ward.

Way to jump ahead of the joke, dick. Oh, sorry. I didn't ruin your joke. Go ahead. Yeah, they recognize you. They know you. They're like, you walk in, it's like Norm from Cheers. They're like, Donald!

Yeah, right. So you're saying that, obviously, it goes without saying, they need to be so secure with babies in the maternity ward that even if they know you and they still scan you because they have to be super safe. Absolutely. You could have an identical sinister twin. Yeah, I mean, first of all, yes, that is a possibility. But the person would have to be like diabolic. Evil Donald. Like the evilest of evil. Evil Donald.

What did I do to my evil twin to make them that evil and want to steal my kid? He wants your money. He's going to hold that baby for ransom for some Donald money. I feel like if I had a twin, we could get into so much good trouble. Why would they want to steal my kid? Right. You know what I mean? Right.

I agree with you. Anyway, she runs down the hall with the baby. Interesting tidbit in this episode, a bit of trivia. All the flashbacks in this episode are from Kelso's point of view. I didn't pick up on that. I didn't. Well, I did notice that Kelso was having flashbacks.

I did notice that too. But he has a bat in his attic and the bat, he's trying to stick his dog on it, which is Ken's real dog, by the way, whose name was Pal, a very, very well-trained Australian shepherd. And the bat appears to pick up Baxter. Now, later in the episode, later in the episode, the bat steals your tennis racket. But that's not nearly as impressive as stealing an Australian shepherd. No.

But you see the Australian shepherd get lifted up into the air. It's almost like it's a what are those birds? Not the vultures, but the ones Do you remember the last unicorn? Yeah, a condor, like a condor, like the best size of a condor and snatched it up.

Do you remember the movie The Last Unicorn? No. Great movie. Anyway, if you don't remember it, I can't tell you. So The Last Unicorn was this movie about the last unicorn and there was this one creature in it. And what was it? It was like, and it was this one creature in it and what was it what it was like and it was the only creature that do you remember joelle because you said you it's a

vague movie it's a it's a very acid trippy kind of movie but when you said when you said when you said the bat grabs like all right have you ever seen the movie of unknown origin no it's about a rat inside in new york city or something like that in this guy's apartment. And the thing is so big and a large size, and he at one point gets a cat to get the rat. And the rat beats the shit out of the cat and kills the cat and leaves it in the freaking in the kitchen sink. All right, so I mean not in the kitchen, in the refrigerator.

So anyway, when I was a kid, my dad took me to 42nd street to see a bunch of movies like i saw jaws there i saw poltergeist there we lived only a couple of blocks away so 42nd street times square like when freaking taxi driver was around was an experience i experienced because my dad would take us to the movies and of unknown origin was one of those movies that he took me to see about this rat this is the only time I ever was where my dad was jumping and grabbing me like, holy shit, this motherfucking rat is so goddamn big. You know what I mean?

Like grabbing me to. How big is the rat in the movie? You never really see it, but it's like. It's like a chupacabra. It's like, ah! And you're jumping, right? It's like Jaws, but with a rat. Right.

And the dude gets dressed up in like hockey gear at the end and goes at it with the rat. Anyway, just saying. That's what this bat thing kind of reminds me of. You in the attic with that bat was hysterical. That made me laugh. You screamed. You did your famous Donald Faison scream, and it gets me every time. Yeah, I got to stop doing that scream.

I think people are used to it now. Well, it's your What You Talking About Willis, but I really like it. Okay. I remember why. I mean, catchphrases are so funny. I remember being a kid being like, on certain episodes when Arnold didn't say What You Talking About Willis, I was like, what the fuck is this bullshit episode? There was no What You Talking talking about, Mrs. Garrett?

Do you know where Mrs. Garrett came from originally? Oh, do you know where Mrs. Garrett went to? I know she went to Northwestern University. Do you know what she went to after Different Strokes? Don't tell me. She went to her own show with Tootie. What's it called? Facts of Life.

Facts of Life. There you go. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have the facts of life. The facts of life. And the world never seems to believe in. There's a funny lyric I remember that's like, When the boys who used to hate you date, I guess you must investigate the facts of life. Yep.

That must have been the long cut. Well, that was, we learned that from Ted's band. Oh, that's right. Do you know who was on Facts of Life that the audience might be surprised to know was a regular? Molly Ringwald. George Clooney. I didn't know that. That was later on.

Molly Ringwald, season one, Facts of Life. Really? Mm-hmm. And now, were you a Tootie Blair or Joe? Tootie, baby. Tootie. Tootie. Okay.

Tootie. Tootie. Tootie. I really had, this was right around the time in my age where like, you know, things were starting to. You were a Joe. Things were starting to kick on. Were you a Joe? Yeah, I really had a crush on Joe.

Yeah. I really had a crush on Joe. It's funny because Blair was like supposed to be like the beautiful blonde bombshell, but like I liked the tomboy Joe. Yeah. Dan, Joelle, did you have a particular Facts of Life crush? Or are you too young? Well, too young. Okay, do you guys remember your first sitcom crush?

Oh, first sitcom crush. Well, my first sitcom crush, I you was Suzanne Storm. I have a preliminary question. Go ahead. Does the Power Rangers count as a sitcom? Sure, why not? We'll accept it. Then Kimberly. Amy Jo Johnson? Yeah, Pink Ranger. The Pink Ranger.

100%. Oh man, she was pretty great. 100%. You know, when I did Felicity and she was on Felicity and she was the Pink Ranger, I remember geeking out inside being like, dude, she has no idea. Keep it professional, dude. She has no idea how fucking, how dope, you know, how dope she is. So just keep it together.

What about Alyssa Milano on Who's the Boss? Oh, of course. That was everybody's. But Tootie and then Janet Jackson on Good Times and the sister on Good Times. Oh my God when I was a kid. And then when I moved to Los Angeles, I swore I was going to marry Lark

Voorhees. I was like, I'm going to marry, when I get here, I'm going to marry Lark Voorhees. I was just going to say Lark Voorhees as Lisa Marie. I knew it. I was sure of it. I was like, after clueless, there's no way log boy.

He's going to say no to me. All right. We're going to take a break. And when we come back, we're going to talk about bastard coded bastards with bastard filling. I'll be right back. Bring a little optimism into your life with the bright side, a new kind of daily podcast from hello sunshine. Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.

And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.

Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world. Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman about the five basic strategies to help parents raise good humans.

Florence Fabrikant about the authenticity in the world of food writing. Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart Podcast. Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've

been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.

I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. This second season of El Flow is here, available como a ti te guste, in both English and Spanish.

This season, we dive deeper into the vibrant world of reggaeton, featuring interviews with both reggaeton legends and exciting new talents. He's the undisputed king of reggaeton, no doubt. And he's been cited as an inspiration by multiple Latin stars, including J Balvin, Bad Bunny, Osuna, Mati Natasha. Explore the evolution of this dynamic genre and what makes it resonate globally.

How you consume reggaeton, how you share and distribute reggaeton, those are all an important part of the story. It's the way that the people are experiencing reggaeton along with the musicians. Listen to El Flow as part of the My Cultura podcast network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! And we're back! Bastard-coated bastards with bastard feeling. Two people said it. Two people say it in this episode. It's a great line. I've got to read the line because, hold on, it's on Scrubs Wiki.

Molly says, Perry, no one is pure evil. I mean, yes, everyone has a hard outer shell, but inside everybody has a creamy center. And he said, there are plenty of people in here on this particular planet that are hard on the outside and hard on the inside. And then she says, so they have more of a nougaty center? And he says, lady, lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.

But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine. And then she touches his chest and she goes, I'm touching your creamy center. This has been Scrubs Theater with Zach Braff. But anyway, that's a funny line.

I think bastard... Yes, I think bastard covered bastards with bastard filling is a funny line. I want to, what is, I thought a bastard was like a kid who doesn't have a dad. Isn't that what a bastard is? That is a technical definition. That's the technical definition, but I think it became just calling someone like a jerk. It became like, you know.

Well, that's what Marty McFfly calls the libyans after they shoot doc brown i know that you bastards deep cut um how about so kelso and cox really just are pissed off that molly's happy they try and break her they try and just fuck with it yeah so yeah you know i would expect that from cox i didn't necessarily expect kelso to like really invest like that because he doesn't you know kelso's pissed that she won't write a prescription for him to stick the drugs in the half newton right so now he's in yeah he wants wants to get revenge on her because she won't play by his rules. Right. I'm sure he could just write the prescription, right?

I didn't understand that either. Or couldn't Cox write? Maybe you're not allowed to write prescription for your family members? Is that a rule? I don't know. Could Cox have written a prescription? Well, in Garden State, don't your parents write the prescriptions for you? Yeah.

And that was actually inspired by someone I knew whose father was a psychiatrist and had her on so many meds. And I remember thinking, like, this woman is taking so many drugs because this one causes this side effect. So she takes this one for that. And then that causes another side effect. So she was taking like a handful of these insane pills. And she certainly didn't seem like any of it was really helping her. And that was sort of the genesis of that idea was thinking like, God, her father, I'm sure he means well. But he's like they're caught in this horrific loop.

Do you think in today's climate you could still tell this joke where Kelso's drugging his wife? Yeah, because he's not, I mean, I think so. He's drugging her with antidepressants. It's not like he's drugging her with Rufanol or something. He's drugging her with antidepressants. I mean, I he's drugging her with Rufanol or something. He's drugging her with antidepressants. I mean, I don't know. Joelle, what do you think? I don't give me drugs

without my consent. I don't want a Tylenol without knowing that I'm taking a Tylenol. No, I know, but Donald's saying in 2021, could you still write a I'm drugging my wife with antidepressants joke? Probably not. I don't think so, no. Agreed. IMO. It's crazy with antidepressants joke. Probably not. I don't think so. No. Agreed.

No. IMO. It's crazy, right? It's crazy what was funny. So, like, not so long ago. It's crazy. And now it's like, that's a little dangerous. Yeah.

No, I hear you. I agree with you. I didn't even think of it. By the way, it's just, I didn't even think of it at the time, but I think you're probably right. What about when he gives her a Spanish book because she's going to Mexico and she says, gracias, and he goes, you're welcome-o. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Oh, boy. So you're really working the diabetes angle with Carla. You've got her wrapped around your finger. This is the best part of the episode to me.

I laughed a lot at Turk's use of his diabetes. Yeah. And I think I might do the same. And it's because he hasn't figured out his medication yet. So he's getting away with a lot of shit, right? Right. He's getting sandwiches. He's getting sandwiches.

He's getting a bunch of things. He's getting sex. He's getting whatever he wants. As long as it's for his diabetes, it's his. I thought it was so funny how she runs away and comes back on the gurney, smiling with the sandwich. She's so happy to do it for him. Carla's so happy to do it for her.

You say something funny like, because you're hooking me up with sandwiches and whatnot. But then she's doing the same thing. She winds up doing the exact same thing. Everybody's lying in the episode. That's the theme. Everybody lies. The theme is that everyone is being duplicitous with everybody.

No one is really being honest. And it creates quite a tangled mess. Well, yeah. Don't you remember the commercial? When you tell one lie, it leads to another. No. You don't remember? oh uh let me take it up when you tell one lie it leads to another then you tell two lies oh brother you don't notice then you lie and lie i don't remember the exact like alfonso was it latter-day saints it was j it Latter-day Saints?

It was Jesus Christ, Latter-day Saints. Those Latter-day Saints spent so much money on ads when we were kids. Do you remember the one with Alfonso Ribeiro? Mr. Robertson, Mr. Robertson, I broke your window. I broke your window with my ball, and I've come to confess. Do you remember that one? No, but I remember when we were kids, I don't know if it was an East Coast tri-state area thing, but whenever we were watching, the Latter-day Saints were hitting us up.

WPIX. With messages. Hardcore. Don't lie. Don't lie. And then always tell the truth. Dude, I remember. If you look up on YouTube, you could find the one with Alfonso.

And it's like a musical. And they were always musical numbers that the Mormons played us with. I remember a kid being like, Mommy, I got bubble gum all over the dog. Do you remember that one? No. That was one, too. Do you remember – this wasn't a Latter-day Saints one, but do you remember the PSA that was like – it was pills, and they were puppets, speaking of pills. say that was like um it was pills and they were they were puppets speaking of pills and they sang it was it was to protect kids from not eating pills and it was um and the puppet pills would

sing we're not candy yes even though we look so fine and dandy yes yeah yeah oh man i'm sure that's on YouTube. Anyway. Those pills could sing. They had range. Those pills had bars. They had range. They had range.

It was a long song. That's the only part I remember. All right. So Dan's back in the tub. I think I did, first of all, I did a really great Proud Fall. Yes. Where is that pratfall? I wrote it down. Oh, over the couch when Dan pops up.

I literally backwards leapt over that couch. That's some serious trust that no one accidentally moved the pad because I – When you landed, did you do a back roll? Did you roll over? No, I just fucking hurled myself backwards and just trusted that Matt would be there. How many times did you truly injure yourself doing these pratfalls? Like, let's talk about that. Like, I know you had a hernia at one point.

Did that come from pratfalling too? I don't know. You know, I think some people are just predisposed to have, like, the one that's called an inguil next to your groin. It's, you know, it's just like, it's very common for men. But it happened after you did. I remember you did, you were doing pratfalls with the hernia and you were like, I'm getting a surgery tomorrow. Like, don't you remember that?

Don't you remember this? I do remember. Well, I don't know. I always had back issues from it, you know? I mean, I really did nine years of curling myself around i always i used to go to the chiropractor a lot who helped me when you cheaper by the dozens are you going to be doing that um no it's not as broad as um it's not as as as slapsticky as as uh as the steve martin thing i'm not like i'm not like swinging from chandeliers. That's still funny.

It still makes sense. No, there's, trust me, there's some, there's some, there's definitely some funny physical related comedy, but I'm not,

my character's not as like goofy as J.D. is. Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine. Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me,

Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal, with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha,

and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world. Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five basic strategies to help parents raise good humans. Florence Fabrikant about the authenticity in the world of food writing. Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast. Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Truck stop brothels run by a web of ex-cons. A Commonwealth attorney wasted on whiskey and power. Protection exchanged for cash and flesh. This is Hooker Game, criminals and libertines in the South. And I am your host, Dr. Lindsay Byron. Three years ago, I came across a goldmine of news clippings detailing a scandal that rocked my small southern hometown. As I flipped through each page, this forgotten story came back to life. I was told that it was just supposed to be a massage parlor. The big shot in there was Barker. He beats me continuously.

If you print anything that you hear in the grand jury, you will be put in jail. I never gave any massages. Listen to Hooker Gay, Criminals and Libertines in the South on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. As important as choosing the right destination when traveling is choosing the right travel partner. Gene! Eugene Fodor! Gene! Much of the joy you will find on the road comes from the person you share it with.

So you write the books, Gene, and the last hour on the business. I understand now. If it's a wise man, marry a wiser woman. But be careful and choose your travel partner well, because the worst trips result when two partners have two different agendas. Get down! I'm not stupid, Gene. Something is going on and it's high time you tell me the truth.

Freeze, Americano! Gene, run! So travel before it's too late. Your money will return. Your time won't. And we're all too quickly approaching that final destination. Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Okay. So Turk convinces JD to use the pain of Elliot dating Dan to get, make it so that she can, she'll forgive him for dumping her. Right. And he tries it and it sends Dan back into the bathtub again. Right. I love that.

I love it. I go, he goes, Hey little brother. I go, ah, what are you doing back in the tub? Yeah.

He scares the shit out of me. Elliot broke up with me. Yeah. I'm supposed to fucking come for him now? So it works. So it works. But now your brother isn't happy. No, but they're lying. They're lying.

They didn't break. I don't, wait, why is he in the tub? They do break up. They do break up for that hot second, don't they? And then he goes back. Oh, I thought it was all fronting that they were, they were hiding their relationship. Oh, I didn't pick up on that.

It was like a play, a performative exercise in tricking JD. That's hard. Then I go over her house, and she's all dialed up, and she's in this nightie. She's got her cleavage on display. The blue bra's back. Yep, they got champagne, they got Dido playing, and they got, what's the other thing? Champagne candlesticks.

Oh, candlesticks. I really laughed at, you were like, I just wanted to tell you that I want to thank you. That should have you. I said if my heart could write songs, it would be these. And then I take a sip of the champagne. I'm like, it's so tingly. It's a tingly drink.

And then Dan. Dan appears. Pops up. I pop over the couch. Then there's this really surreal fantasy where we're both standing there naked looking at each other spinning. Right. And realizing that you have no feelings for each other at that moment in time. Now, I have a question. Do you really think it's possible?

I guess it is if you're just so over each other. Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. Wait. Let me finish my thought and then you can come on buddy me. Okay. Do you think it's possible someone you really cared about, I'm not talking about some fling you had,

to be standing there naked in front of them, looking at their naked body, and you had such strong feelings for them, to absolutely feel nothing? That's what JD is saying. Are you both single? Yeah. In this scenario, we are.

In the show, we are. And you're butt naked in front of each other. Yeah, we're both butt naked looking at each other's bodies, like 18 inches apart. Wait, do you say buck naked or do you're butt naked in front of each other yeah we're both buck naked looking at each other's bodies like 18 inches apart wait do you say buck naked or do you say butt naked but I think you say buck I say butt okay so anyway I don't think it's possible I don't know yeah this isn't like some girl that you like a woman you're not a true well you know that you had a like just a hookup with this is like someone you were like had strong you're not a true, well, you know, that you had just a hookup with. This is like someone you had strong feelings for. I feel like if you guys are back in that situation, if you guys are back in that situation butt naked in front of each other.

I think Buck is correct. You might want to. You think so? It's okay to pivot at 46. I say Buck. I have looked this up because I was curious. They're both acceptable. Buck naked is older, the more original of the two.

Well, since you're 46, you should probably use buck. I'm going to say but. I'm going to keep it urban. Oh, it's but urban. Keep it a buck, baby. That'd be funny if Daniel's definition said that. If you're urban, it's but. Oh, boy. definition said that if you're urban uh it's but oh boy yo yo but i don't think i don't think i don't think if you're both single at that moment and you're

butt naked now if you just appear in front of each other like, oh, shit, I'm butt naked in front of my ex. How did this happen? I don't think, okay, yeah, sure. But if you're both at this point butt naked and you're both single, something's been about to happen. We're 18 inches apart and we're on some sort of lazy Susan spinning around. I don't really, I mean, I guess it was just a stylistic thing to choose to put us

on a lazy Susan. And that's a fantasy to, but I don't think, I don't think that's. Why are we naked on a lazy Susan? To prove that. To prove that if you guys

were standing in front of each other naked, you wouldn't have any feelings at that moment. I know, but it would have been funny if we, if we,

within the fantasy, like I broke the moment to be like, why are we spinning on a lazy um yeah so i don't believe that i watched that and i was like first of all sarah's beautiful and she's naked and jd is a straight male who was very in love with her and i just don't believe that he'd be like, although she, she feels like you should really meet her brother.

Right. Brother. She keeps making gay jokes about me. Yeah. I'm saying I love Dido and I need to meet her brother, Barry, because he's the one of the four brothers that she thinks is gay. Yes.

I don't know if you saw this, but I saw this. Did you see the light frames in the background? No, where? Okay, go to... I got it up. I can go to it. Where are you talking about? Go to

the... I'm not sure if it's the apartment where... It's Elliot's apartment toward the end in the corner. Is that a light frame you see it a bunch of times if you go through the whole scene between the two it's like a little black

piece in the corner that has nothing to do with anything it's almost like it's I think it's that one I'm not sure I don't see it I gotta go back I don't know I saw a light frame and i didn't write down the scene that it was in because i was freaking stoned when i was watching the show but i feel

like there was a that's when you hit the button but i feel like there was a couple of shots where i could see like the edge of a keno it felt like or the edge of i don't know i don't see it but you know i'm sure i'm sure that there's uh there's somewhere in there yeah i could be wrong i'm gonna look at it again all right well people love that people love fuck-ups donald maybe there's a fuck-up it's so easy to paint things out these days you know because everything is is just so computerized and it's it's easy for someone to go oh there's a light we'll just we'll paint that out or put it in shadow or crop it out. Do you remember when you talked about how you saw your first CG tier?

I feel like I just saw it in something. I don't know what it was I was watching. I was watching something with Casey. And it was like a CG. I was like, that's CG. We were just recently watching something. I don't remember what it was. Yeah, the CG tiers are coming.

They're coming strong. I saw one, too, recently recently it doesn't look real yet it doesn't look real it looks kind of fake it's kind of like a ice piece of ice tear coming out like it's it's good if you like if you have a specific moment that hinges on a tear and you and and the actors can't do it first of all it's one thing to say okay in this scene you cry okay but to have like that moment of like the denzel and glory moment of like the tear you know cresting the lid and dropping like that that's pretty freaking hard to choreograph and um it's almost impossible and that's why you win oscars for that shit right so i'm saying like so i'm saying like if if if you know if your script has a moment that's so

key to it yeah i mean maybe maybe maybe it's fine i think it'll help with continuity too because as we've spoken on the show sometimes someone's crying and then all of a sudden they're not and they would have some tears in their eyes so i think that's going to help filmmakers be like okay well it doesn't match. Let me just put a little gloss on her eyes. Otherwise it looks, you know, where did all the tears go? Because we're doing this five hours later, you know? Speaking of Sarah Chalk, I've been watching Firefly Lane.

Oh yeah, how is it? I just started it last night. That shit is funny. She's so good. Sarah's so good, right? Sarah's so good. So is Catherine. Katie's good too.

But Sarah has a special place in my heart and like like I'm not watching it like my wife is watching it like my wife is invested like she stands up and she's into it into it and you know I'll be on a couch playing video games on my phone or something and Sarah will say something and I'll laugh out loud. Like she's laugh out loud funny, Sarah Chalk. I'm really happy for her. It's a huge hit, Donald. I mean, when Sarah was on her show, she was talking about, oh, I hope we get another season of it. I was wondering, what kind of show is it?

I thought it was a limited series, but if it's a full-on series, wow, good for her, man. It's so good, dude. I think it's ideal for her because it's shot where she lives in Vancouver. And i didn't know anything about it other than i when you when you open netflix it's like the top trending show in in in the united states so she's killing it that's good for her good i'm really happy for she's such a good actress yeah man yeah yes and not used enough in my opinion no you know what i And not used enough, in my opinion.

No. You know what I mean? I agree. Not used enough. Underappreciated. She could be in Marvel. She could be in Star Wars. Sarah has those chops.

You know what I mean? I think if Sarah were offered a part in Star Wars, she'd say, I'm sorry. Give this role to Donald Faison. No, she better not. And they'd be like, Sarah, it's a part for a 40-something blonde woman. And she'd be like, I don't care. Give it to Donnie. Look, she's so athletic. She fronts like she's not coordinated, but she's really coordinated. Sarah could be an action star easily, you know what I mean? If she wanted to. She's very talented, and I'm so happy for her. And if you're listening,

check out Firefly Lane, because Sarah Chalk is back on top with a top Netflix show. Do you know, speaking of top shows, I read that WandaVision is the number one show on Earth. On Earth. And it deserves it. It's such a good show, man. It deserves it, man. It just makes you think so much, man, about like, they developed a world and now I'm stuck and I can't get out.

Like, I think about it when I'm not, when I shouldn't be thinking about it. Like, but if this is, like, they just developed it so well. It's good storytelling, man. It's great storytelling. Have you guys gone back and done the rewatch yet? No, not yet. The rewatch? After episode five, you got to go all the way back to the beginning and rewatch the

whole series. It's like a completely different series. Joelle, are you whispering because your puppy's asleep? She's asleep at my feet. Yes. And I don't want to wake her. I think it's really adorable that you're whispering because your puppy's asleep on your feet. That is adorable.

She's so cute. And I just like her sleeping. Play with her later. All right. We're going to go to break. And we come back. We got a caller for you that is going to blow your socks off. Okay. And they're going to be butt or buck naked. We'll be right back. Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast

from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay, and me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new

season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world. Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five basic strategies to help parents raise good humans. Florence Fabrikant, about the authenticity in the world of food writing. Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast.

Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This second season of El Flow is here, available como a ti te guste, in both English and Spanish. This season, we dive deeper into the vibrant world of reggaeton, featuring interviews with both reggaeton legends and exciting new talents. new talents. He's the undisputed king of reggaeton, no doubt. And he's been cited as an inspiration by multiple Latin stars, including J Balvin, Bad Bunny, Osuna, Antina Pasha. Explore the evolution of this dynamic genre and what makes it resonate globally. How you consume reggaeton, how you share and distribute reggaeton, those are all an important part of the story. It's the way that the people are experiencing reggaeton along with the musicians.

Listen to El Flow as part of the My Cultura podcast network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. iHeart Podcast update this week on your free iHeartRadio app. In retrospect, revisit pop culture moments from the 80s and 90s and try to understand what it taught us about the world and a woman's place in it. Crying in public. Two 20-something college women living in NYC

dive into growing up at a time when there was no distinction between what's public and what's private. Best of both worlds. A discussion on work-life balance, career development, parenting, time management, productivity, and making time for fun. Hear these podcasts and more on your free iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Scrubs Rewatch show with Zach and Donald. And we're back! And we're back! Let's bring in the caller. Here comes Gabrielle Rivera. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Gabrielle Rivera! Hi, guys.

And friend! That's my fiance, Jordan. Hi, Jordan. Jordan! Jordan Hi guys Welcome to the show We're very very happy to have you I can already tell one thing Jordan loves Star Wars

Oh yes We got baby Yoda Oh you got you a nice little baby Yoda there Yeah And I see another. I see a puppet. I see a puppet. Is somebody.

Yeah. Is that a puppet? Yes. I got a puppet made to look like him. That's so cool. Oh, my God. I'm going to get a puppet of Donald. Oh, my God.

You guys look almost identical. I love it. That's really good What's the name of the company you should give them a shout out One of the best gifts I've ever gotten like ever I think so Do you ever walk around and do puppet shows with that

Kind of hard to do that these days But I mean once we get out of this Pandemic They did a good job Jordan It looks a lot like you. It looks more like you than you do. A little bit, right? Yeah.

And he has a shirt like that too. Oh my God. That's cool. Now you don't remember, you don't remember the name of the company because that's a great gift to give people. It's my puppets on Etsy. They did a really great job.

I'm so sad. So if I go on Etsy and I, Joelle, maybe you can search. If you go on Etsy. They did a really great job. I'm so sad. So if I go on Etsy and I, Joelle, maybe you can search. If you go on Etsy and just search, make a puppet that looks like my fiance. I'm going to get Donald. I'm going to get Donald.

I'm going to get me and Donald and do an act out scene. And then we could do the theme song for our show. We'll do a music video. No. Here's some story about a show we made. Maybe for the live show. We'll do a music video. Here's some story about a show we made. Maybe for the live show, we'll do a whole section with puppets. Yes, that'd be awesome.

Donald, we'll duck out of frame because people will be watching and we'll operate the puppet. Like this. Yeah. Now, should I be you and you be me? Probably that will only end in tears. We'll probably... Definitely a good segment for the live show all right we're gonna do it are you guys gonna tune into the live show absolutely one of your 5 000 guests well we by the way 5 000 might be like

unrealistic yeah i want to i really want to undersell so it will only will only be excited if it's more. So let's say there's going to be about 200 people. 5,000 was a little bit cocky, I think. Well, we'll be two of the 200. That's for sure. All right. So we have a bunch of things from Etsy that Joelle is showing us.

Oh, Joelle says it's – Eva Linka Puppets? Eva Linka Puppets, maybe. Was that who you used? Let me – I can check my email. I don't, you know, don't worry about it. Don't worry. We're distracting from the show. Just go on Etsy if you want to get a puppet made,

I'll be on there after this show getting Donald. I didn't know that Etsy was like that. I thought Etsy was like, if you build stuff and you're thinking about, and you want to sell something that you, I didn't know, like you could like, there are people that build stores on Etsy and sell. I didn't – I wasn't aware of – Anything you can think of, someone is making that on Etsy.

It's really cool. I wasn't aware of that. And I did, man. Oh, by the way, I'm sure there's people making stop motion figures. Yeah, dude. That's what I did. I went down the – there are people selling full-on puppets, full-on made puppets for you on Etsy. You mean not their kind of puppet, a stop-motion puppet?

No, like stop-motion puppets, like full-on. They're expensive. Nothing's – Is that where you got the one that looks like you? No. The one I got, the one that looks like me was – I saw this guy online who does it professionally. He works for Aardman. He works for – The one that looks like me was I saw this guy online who does it professionally.

He works for Aardman. He works for – he did – he worked – him and his brother worked on The Isle of Dogs. His name is Nathaniel. But they work on – How much does a puppet cost of you like that kind of puppet? Well, I'm not going to get into that. All right. A lot. We don't have to get into that.

It's a lot of money. I made payments, monthly payments not going to get into that. We don't have to get into that. It's a lot of money. I made payments, monthly payments on it. Yeah. Sure. Well, I mean, he's a professional stop motion guy making a likeness

that you can animate. I mean, yeah, it's not gonna be cheap. It's so worth it though. Look at the smile on his face, man. He's so happy he has it. He's still smiling. By the way,

I want to get puppets of all of us. I'm going to get Danil, Joel, Donald. Don't joke. By the way, I want to get puppets of all of us. I'm going to get Daniel, Joel, Donald. Don't joke. Daniel, would I honor you? You would honor me. He turned it into a like, it was like he was going out on

the phone. You're breaking up. What? I don't know if they're going to be. Wait, what was the lead time? How long did it take to get your puppet? I ordered it in september and then it got here um a few days after christmas oh it's going to be too long for our live show which is probably gonna happen in march uh my custom puppet gabriella says my custom puppet there you go guys we gave we gave that shop a shout out very right, guys, where are you calling from? Chicago. All right.

ChiTown. I went to Northwestern. Nice, yeah. And Evanston. We didn't really go to Chicago that much. It was too cold. Yes. We are about a 15-minute walk away from Wrigley Field. Oh, you go to games? You're straight up in Chicago. That's my old neighborhood.

That's exciting. Do you go to games when it's non-pandemic times? Every now and again, I guess. Since they won the World Series, they've been a little more expensive, I think. Donald, real quick, we just want to mention, we have met you at C2E2 before. Nice. Was I a dick? No.

No, we have a photo. We'll show you. C2E2 before. Nice. Was I a dick? No. No, we have a photo. We'll show you. Oh! You guys were Indiana Jones and Marion. I do remember that. Yeah. Where was that? That was at C2E2. Chicago Comic Con.

Remember Comic Con so you can just go? Oh, I missed I missed that did you guys because Celebration was like a month after that did you go to Celebration

right after that no no that would have been that would have been so much fun it was literally but it was like a month

after C2E2 wasn't it something like that yeah that was such a great time I remember being I was in and out of chicago so much at that moment i was like this is so cool man i love listen great pizza you can't beat the

pizza i disagree i don't like that i don't like that pot that sick ass pie you're a chicago bar pizza dude you're a crack if you're a new y Yorker and you're giving Chicago pizza a shout out? What's wrong with you? Because it's good, dude. It's good. You might as well have a pizza cake. And then Alicia took us to one night, because when we did C2E2, it was the cast of Clueless. I remember Alicia and Paul took us one night to some restaurant. I forget the name. But I remember the drinks were like, you know, we let Alicia order.

And so, you know, the food was a little, you know, it was vegan and it was like, you know, raw and all of that stuff. Is Paul vegan?

No, but we would, you know, we're down, we're hanging out. Right, right. Who cares?

We haven't seen each other. Who gives a shit? It's edible, right? Ain't nobody going to die. You're like, I just want to be with you guys. Alicia,

hand me the lettuce. Alicia, can I have an extra piece of lettuce with my lettuce? We went out. We had a good time in Chicago, man. All I could think about was Adventures in Babysitting and how nobody would go into how Chicago, the city, was so

scary to the kids from Adventures in Babysitting. All right, guys. Let's dive in. Do you have a question for us? here it is um besides elliot what love interest of jd would um you all like to see more of was there any character that you felt had great chemistry with jd and in an alternate universe end up with well she's not on the show yet but when elizabeth banks gets on the show i thought that was a an excellent choice uh for a uh psych out like because that became a will they or won't they also you know and you kind of wanted them to be it also so it was definitely one of those things. So if it could be.

Elizabeth Banks character. Yes. I think of. Tasty Como Wife. Because I really. I really liked her. I thought she was fun. And I really liked Amy.

And I thought Amy was fun. And so I. I don't know. My brain went to Tasty Como Wife. Yes. I was thinking Kylie. She's about to come up in a few. Right.

She is coming up. She was a great girl. She was. She's the only black girl you dated on the show. She was Turk approved and everything. She was Turk approved. Turk approved and everything. And Mandy Moore is coming up up i guess that's season

five she was a good girlfriend although she didn't laugh she just said that's so funny that's so funny yeah that's so funny um all right what else you got for us um okay if each of the main characters wore a mask with a saying or design at work, what would each character have? Oh, you mean like a, like a pandemic mask? Yeah. Like we'll be wearing them for a while. Right. So what would each character's like mask be? JD's would probably hug me.

Hug me. So needy for love and affection. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. The Todd's would be flames, obviously. Oh, yeah.

Yes. And it wouldn't be a mask. It would be his banana hammock. Yes, that's what I was thinking. He's wearing a banana hammock. Oh, my God. Remember we did this video with Rob and he has like his own

to this day he has his own like comedic Todd props that he has made and he has one that he it's a banana hammock but the the hammock is cartoonishly long so we had to pull it out didn't we have to pull it out The hammock is cartoonishly long.

We had to pull it out. Didn't we have to pull it out? We do a bit. When this e-show comes out, you got to watch it. We had to do this bit where, I mean, it makes no sense. We were just being so silly. It was like the old days. We were just cracking up, telling Rob to say jokes. But he acts like he's wiggling as though you could, by wiggling,

get out of a fucking banana hammock and he does like a little wiggle and then pulls it out of his jeans the hammock part is like four feet long it's hilarious it's so stupid but we laughed we laughed hard um yeah i don't know i i guess yeah you would definitely be this mask is what i'm talking about yeah absolutely absolutely what do you think we have to prick on a stick elliot yeah yes um john would be like don't talk to me right yes i feel like uh dr cox his would just be like regular like medical like no right right no just no i'm not participating in a joke with my mask um i don't know it's funny people that like have a saying on their mask i've never

that's bizarre it's like might as well right like we're all looking at it well yeah i mean there's listen if i could figure it out if if there's a way to make it so that because now we're starting to have to double up because of the new variants that are coming in and everything like that. If there's a way to make it so that the top one kind of looks like my face, I know they have them out there. Yeah. I saw this guy on the web. I mean, talk about free time. This guy made – you know, they have those realistic masks that look like your face. you know they have those realistic masks that look like your face this guy made it but had it so a normal regular mask looks like it's below his his lips and he goes i'm gonna i'm gonna test

this out and he goes into a car dealership and the guy's like sir sir put your mask up and he's like i'm wearing a mask he's like sir above your nose and he's like bro and he pulls it down and the guy's like oh shit that's cool i bet you can't sure i'm sure speaking of etsy they just need to be comfortable man like my ears are starting to hurt the back of my ears right like the rash don't y''all get the little rash too sometimes from the thing in the back of your ear? I can't find one that doesn't pull my ears forward. They're all doing this to me.

We gotta figure that out. If it's gonna be for a really long time, we need to figure out something a little bit more comfortable. Especially if we have to double up and everything like now. Maybe we should figure out a way to... Maybe fake doctors can do it. I don't know. I i gotta go to a sports store get an adidas or nike branded uh face mask i went i went and looked for one nike nike doesn't sell them nike won't sell

them they don't have them at the store they only give them to the employees so you can't get it from there you know what i mean why what's special about the nike one well it's sporty so it's made to you know it's made for sport right adidas is sporty it's made for sport so it's more comfortable i thought she was saying there was something particularly special about so i have an adidas mask and it's just super comfortable comfortable it would be more comfortable because it's made for sport it's made to not be a distraction. Mm-hmm. You know? Hey, you know what? You know what time it is, Zach. It's time for...

Chicago's favorite segment. It's time to... Fix your lives! All right, guys, go ahead. Well, a little bit about our life. So we are planning a wedding during this pandemic. And yes, and we had to postpone our reception. We'll still get married, but we had to make that decision to do that.

But just real quick, we sent our postponement email to our family and friends. And an hour later, Joel asked us to be on the show. So I felt like we were sent an angel. But I'm also getting my master's in business. And I work full time as a hairstylist. So I have to physically go into work. So we're just really busy. And Jordan's working from home,

of course. But my fix my life question definitely pertains to this. So I want to know, you know, how do I decide what direction to take my career in once I'm done with school? And, you know, I don't want to keep changing career paths. I want to have like a stable job that, you know, doesn't consume my life because I want to do things like start a family and travel more. But I just want to like, how do I make, how can I be sure that the sacrifices and the hard work

that come with, you know, working full time and going to school, how do I make sure that it's going to pay off for me in the end? What do you love? Yeah. What is it? Also, what is the other job that you said there was two? She works as a full time hairstylist and she's going to business school. And you're going to business school.

Yes. Now you I'm assuming I'm assuming because you're asking this, you don't aspire to like own your own salon. It's not out of the question, but a part of me also does think about doing a career change. I would still like to stay in the beauty industry, but maybe not be a hairstylist, you know, be on my feet all day. But I really do like my job. I just want to do something better for my future. My thought is that the thing that lights you up most, like forget any preconceived notion you have in your head, like, oh, you can't make money at that. Like for just for starters, take

that stuff, those voices away and go, what would be my favorite thing to do? Like, what would I be so stoked to get up in the morning and do? Like, you know, like as you brainstorm this, take away any voices you have about, oh, I can't do that. Or, oh, that's too, or everyone does that. And then like start there because I know it's fucking a very contrived expression, do what you love and the money will follow. But I really believe it because you're never going to put more work and passion into something, especially if it's your own business. It can't be something you're like, oh, I'm doing this to make money and I really just want to be with my kid at home. It's got to be something that lights you up. You watch these people on Shark Tank, I just think they're such good examples because they're putting everything they have on the line,

but they love the idea. They're so into the business. And so they're putting everything they have on the line but they love the idea they're so into the business and so they're willing to dedicate all that time and passion so that's my my my first instinct is to tell you to like kind of hone in on things that that you would really light you up in your day i agree with you zach i think you're absolutely right about that is there anything that comes to mind when we say this? Anything that comes up for you? Yeah. So I became a hairstylist not just because I like doing hair, but I liked the things about it that made it a business. That you kind of are your own small business in a way, marketing yourself. You have to grow yourself. I like to talk to people. I feel like I can really connect with people and I'm good at it. So I felt like those

were in hairstyling. So that's why I decided to go to cosmetology school in the first place. So definitely something to kind of continue that would be great. Well, and also you have a lot of experience in that area. It's always good if you don't hate it. It's great to take all your knowledge. You've seen how your places run. I'm sure you've seen places where you're like, oh, I would totally do this differently or, ooh, I like how they do this. And you can totally mold it to be your baby. to be your baby. Yeah. And it's also kind of intimidating right now to open a small business, you know, especially during the pandemic. Yeah, I think you should wait. I think we'd wait. Yeah. If you can wait. I mean, you're lucky that you can rely on your skill set to keep making money. Yeah, you have a trade that you can keep making money during this time. And actually, you're one of the people that can make money during this time because so many people can't even do what they do right now. Yeah.

It's a, yeah, I'm on the same page as Zach. Find what you love and go for yours. I tell Zach, I tell Zach all the time, go for yours, man. You got to go for yours. You got to go for yours. You got to go for yours. Do I or do I not say, Zach, what do I say when you're like, dude, I think I'm going to get this part. What do I tell you? It's either go for yours or that's what's up.

That's what's up. That's right. Go for yours. And then if I'm lucky, it'll be like, go for yours. That's what's up. If you're lucky, it'll be like, go for yours. That's what's up. No, but I mean, like when Donald and I each set out to try this bizarre career that is very, very, very hard to become successful at, we couldn't have dedicated the amount of time and the amount of rejection and the amount of humbling you get in a given year

if you weren't so 100% committed to it. So that allows you to take the hits and the ego fucking slams and the ups and downs of this wacky career that we took on because we just love it so much. It's like we wouldn't want to do anything else. So you have to find what that thing is for you that, you know, starting a business, you're going to have ups and downs. You're going to have ups where you're like, oh my God, I can't believe this wonderful thing happened. And then you're going to have downs where you're like, oh fuck, guess what just happened. And that's, but so,

but if you love it, if you're so into it, if it's like your baby, that's all going to be, you're going to, you're going to never want to give it up. Yeah. And watch lots of Shark Tank. Yes. Because I – no, I'm joking because I don't know anything about business. But I feel like I've learned a lot from watching Shark Tank. They have a lot of passion.

That's for sure. You can see it. You know, I once went to – I'm friends with Chris Saka and I once went to one of the tapings, and he took me in the control room. And you learn that those interview sessions go on for like three hours. They're like really long, and they edit them all down to that little. Yeah, they're long. Oh, my God. Because they're not all three hours, but they're long.

Right, right. And they cut them down to whatever they are, 15. I've never watched Shark Tank. Please don't at me, people. Please don't at me. But I have a question. I don't think anyone's going to be passionately mad at you for not watching Shark Tank. You'd be surprised.

All right, go ahead. But what's the success ratio? It's all over the place. It's all over the place. It's all over the place. I think the most successful one is Scrub Daddy that we had on as one of our advertisers. Because I genuinely was shouting out that sponge. I think that's their most successful one. But some of them are huge. And some of them, a business is only as strong as the people running it and, of course, the idea.

And some of the people, you know, they might have a great idea, but they don't know what they're doing and they run into the ground. Dude, has anybody ever walked in and was like, I want to open a chain of restaurants? Maybe. I don't think it's – I don't know. I'm looking it up. they've done food things before i don't remember if it was specifically a chain of brick and mortars but they've definitely done food items and trucks there was a truck episode there's food trucks i don't think there's a lot of brick and mortar restaurant things i don't think anyway the point is guys you're welcome you're welcome well welcome you're kind of welcome you're kind of welcome we kind of. Well, I thought we gave a good pep talk, Donald.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Because that's really all we can give you on this. At the end of the day, it's up to you to make it on your own, to go out there. But also, you can ruminate on that. Like, it's weird to, like, come up with that, like, on a podcast while we're talking to you. But, like, I think it's a good thing to just sort of meditate and ruminate on, like, what would I be most stoked to get up and do every day? sort of meditate and ruminate on like what would i be most stoked to get up and do every day like if there were if there was if if i if a genie said to me your dream business will come true tonight

what would it be like what is it that you know just and and and just don't get stopped don't go i can't do that like don't let the voices in your head talk to you that whiteboard get the whiteboard put that whiteboard definitely write it on a whiteboard right you know what i mean remind yourself every day what you said remind yourself every day what you said you wanted to do put it up stare at it and then ask yourself each day what could i be doing is there anything i could be doing today that would be furthering me getting that dream to come true yeah that's kind of what the point of the whiteboard is in my mind is that if I'm sitting here at my desk, I'm just going to – you can't help but catch yourself staring at the board. And then you go, you know what?

For goal number four, I haven't done anything in like a week. Why don't I fucking write that email I'm afraid to write? It just gets you – it keeps you focused on your goals. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You can even try to hide it in other rooms. You'll accidentally walk into the room and see the whiteboard and look at it staring at you dude it'll be it's there always

dude it's like i so since we started talking about that i did that i wrote a bunch of things down and i've you know i've since erased it and wrote new things down it continues to evolve right i recommend that for everybody even if even if your goal is outlandishly wild it it's something to get you motivated to keep it moving especially in these times right and i'm just of a belief system that that doesn't matter how wild that thing is because shit just fucking happens. I mean, Amanda- Sometimes. Amanda's had, Amanda Klutz has had on hers forever,

like Oprah. She's obsessed with Oprah. She wants to somehow to be involved with Oprah. And like last year, she's like being interviewed by Gail. I'm like, you've reached your one degree from Oprah. Like, it doesn't matter how outlandish it is. Like, make that shit happen. You know, she, a year ago, you know, before all the things that happened to Amanda happened,

she was like, I wish one day I could go to, Oprah has this, like, retreat, leadership retreat for women, I believe. And she's like, oh, my God, like, one of my life goals is to get invited to that. Well, now she's like a host on The Talk and friends with Gail. I'm like, that shit's going to happen. Anything could happen. But in her mind, in her mind a year ago, that was like outlandish. But do it.

All right, we got to go. But thank you, guys. And please come to the live show, since you said you were, you inspired us. If you indeed see puppetry on the live show, it's all because of you guys. You know where it came from. You know where it came from. You know where it came from.

Yeah. All right, guys. Thank you so much. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Gabrielle and Jonathan! Take care, guys. Bye. They are so cute. They're adorable.

Dude, I remember them from E2. You do? That's good. Yeah. That's amazing. Well, I think we did it, Donald. We did do it. We had some giggles.

We did. And you know what? I'm sorry about the leaf blower, if you hear that. It's quite all right. Rest assured, there are no leaves left in my yard. I just want to say, you know, we're starting to get into some crazy uh new territory numbers are dropping dramatically in the united states of america and around the world uh please people do not let your

guard down now is not the time to let your guard down now is the time you made it this far you know what i mean now don't get it fucking now fucking now don't get it now you made it this far. You know what I mean? Don't get it fucking now. Fucking now. Don't get it now. You made it this far. Now is the time to be extra, extra cautious. Don't let your guard down. There's new variants swirling around the United States, and, you know, it could all pop up again so until we are safe safe safe as safe can be you know until this virus has been kicked

in the butt please wear a mask yo yeah please wash your hands wash your hands and be safe be safe and don't think about just yourself think about the people around you as well i get it i get it that we're all sick of the mask, but just think about the people around you. Cause you know, I'd feel horrible if I gave somebody COVID-19. I would too, if you gave it to me. On Tuesday's show, we will debut the sound pad. Oh, by the way, I need, um, one of them. Of coursehmm That's one of them

That's a good one I know that you're feeling Like you have buyer's remorse But do you have any sounds You would like in the pad? Wu-Tang forever Oh yeah, by the way, anything you want Wu-Tang

You just want you saying Wu-Tang Wu-Tang forever Wu-Tang. What? Wu-Tang. You just want you saying Wu-Tang. Wu-Tang forever. Wu-Tang. Okay. Put that in there, Daniel. Put that in there. All right.

I need that in there. No. What else? How about this? Oh, I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got one.

I need a high-pitched fart, Daniel. Like a fluttering sphincter. How about this one? Here we go. From my sneakers. You know that ship saved my life quite a few times. She's the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy. It just has Star Wars quotes.

Wait, do you want to give me a quick Star Wars sound bite that I can use? Do or do not. There is no try. Good. We'll put that in there. Very exciting. Have you worn those sneakers yet, by the way? No, man.

I'm not trying to waste those up. That shit costs you money, dog. I know, but I'm not down with you putting them on a shelf that never get worn. Rock them. Don't stock them. Yeah, rock them. Don't stock them. Rock them. Don't stock them. Yeah, rock them, don't stock them. Rock them, don't stock them.

Rock them, don't stock. You should see my Yeezys. They're worn in. I'm taking a talk and working all around the clock. Rock them, don't stock them. Rock them, don't stock. All right, everybody. There you go.

We love you. We care about you be healthy oh wait wait wait wait wait 5 6 7 8 you goofy man I had more to say ass neck okay we'll cut it off go ahead say that shit then say that shit

it's over we brought it back it's not over say that shit say what you gotta say damn it be kind call your mother Put it back. It's not over. Say that shit. Say what you got to say, damn it. Be kind. Call your mother. Tell her you love her.

If your mother's no longer here, call someone else. Call your father. Tell him you love them. Why are you looking at me like that? I'm not looking at you like anything. I like what you're saying. You're looking at me and holding in your laugh. And I'm trying to tell everyone to call their mom. Because you started off with be kind.

Yeah, be kind. But you said it so softly. Well, because I didn't know if I was going to allow you to continue the show or if you were really going to stop. Fuck this shit. Five, six, seven, eight. I said he's got stories about a show we made About a bunch of docs and nurses in a Canada who love to hate I said he's got stories that we all should know So gather round to hear our

Gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald Mm-hmm. Bring a little optimism into your life to hear our Scrubs Rewatch show with Zach and Donald. Mm-hmm. Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine. Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce.

Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles,

a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. my family, my career. I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer, the ups and the downs, everything that I've learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride. So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers,

and so many other fascinating people, like jazz bassist Christian McBride. Jazz is based on improvisation, but there's very much a form to it. You have a conversation based on that melody and those chord changes. So it's kind of like giving someone a topic and say, okay, talk about this. Listen to the new season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.