Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 415: My Hypocritical Oath

Episode Date: March 30, 2021

On this week's episode, J.D. struggles with the concept of doctor patient confidentiality, when there's a pretty lady on the line. In the real world, we have just come back from an epic weekend of a live show and Family Feud! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay, and me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting. That's our bodies adapting to our technology.

But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. I used to have so many men. How this beguiling woman in her 50s. She looked like a

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Gene, what's good? But be careful, because the worst trips result when two partners have two different agendas. The CIA really need your help, Gene. Freeze, Americano! Gene! Run! Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. There he is. Yeah!

Yes, there he is! That was a lot of fun. I was nervous. I was legit nervous. Dude, I was nervous for like a week straight. I was nervous. That wasn't just like, I was so nervous about the live show. I was nervous about the rap. I was nervous about the show. I was nervous about the connection. I was nervous about the internet. Like anything and everything that could go wrong, I was nervous about it. Yeah. Thank

goodness. None of it went wrong. I know. And it was really fun. Like I, I had a lot of anxiety. I wanted to put on a good show. You know, it's like, I feel like when we do this, I, it just feels so natural. I'm just sitting here talking to the three of you. And of course we acknowledge all our amazing listeners, but it just feels like intimate and safe. Obviously, we say something we regret. We can edit it out. The live show just felt very like vulnerable. Like there's all these people listening to us. I don't want to say anything stupid.

I don't want to embarrass myself. I obviously want them to have a good time. Like I just felt like I was having a giant dinner party or I should say like house party. Massive. i was just nervous about all the guests having a good time but it seems joelle you would know and dale you were reading the chat it seems like everybody had a great time right it was a massive success and in fact we've already been hit up to see when we want to do the next one yeah big will called us and was like yo when y'all ready to go again it's funny you know

what do you thought about you know donald what are your thoughts on this because i was kind of like and you might think i'm crazy for even saying this sentence but i was like are we even gonna do another one because like we had hoped to go on the road and do shows in person like in a theater one day because you you and I would both love entertaining people live. But, you know, I didn't know, like, I mean, maybe we will. I thought this might be just like a one-off. I don't know. I thought it was a one-off too, to be honest with you.

We'll see what happens, guys. Look, it depends on what happens with this little COVID thing that we're dealing with. You know what I mean? Little COVID thing. I mean, massive COVID thing that we're dealing with. You know what I mean? Little COVID thing. I mean, massive COVID thing that we're dealing with. If the world opens up again and it's safe to do live shows in front of you guys,

we want to do it. Yeah. It would be fun to like, like, let's say, let's say like it truly becomes safe, you know, this year to do a show we could do like,

you know, we could do like New York, but I'm just like, we could do like a few cities to try it out or something. New York, Boston, you know we could do like new york but i'm just like we could do like a few cities to try it out or something new york boston you know i like that idea i but if it doesn't open up then i'm totally opening open to doing another yeah show like we did um let's talk about something funny and amazing we can't tell you how it ended but we had the most epic fucking time on Family Feud. It was such a blast.

I could not wipe the smile off my face all day yesterday, you guys. I'm just walking around. I was just bopping. It was just so surreal. I want you guys to share your experience, but I've been watching that show on and off since Richard Dawson. And just to be on that set, and of course with all of you guys and Bill and Neil, it was just so fucking awesome. Yeah.

You know, it was really awesome. When, when Steve Harvey walked out, that's when I was like, this is officially official. He walked out and I was like, that's fricking Steve Harvey right there.

Oh, my God. He was glowing. Like, literally, he was glowing. I've never seen shoes more polished before. He was so good. I wanted to touch the mustache, but we had all these COVID rules, obviously. We couldn't be within six feet of Steve, which I – It's the most troubling COVID thing I've experienced.

Everything else I could have – To not get a hip-hop hug from Steve Harvey really hurt my soul. I really wanted to hug Steve too. I wanted to – you know, and – You didn't practice me. You didn't teach me and drill me on a proper hip-hop hug for years for me to not be able to give one to Steve Harvey. I know, but you could give – you don't have to give a hip-hop hug to Steve Harvey. Wait, wait.

What is it? Is a hip-hop hug the handshake before you hug? Yeah, where you fully hug. No, it's when – well, I don't know if they still call it this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they never called it that exactly, though. They never called it that. Oh, I thought it was called the hip-hop hug.

That's when men, because they're so insecure with their sexuality, can't go chest to chest. So you have to grab, and then arm is between you blocking your your your chest and groin from touching it's a grab pull in good thing we've got this barrier because if we didn't danger okay so check this out when obama was elected into office scrubs was big when obama was elected into office like it had just like it was it was, it was, we were at our prime. It was around this time in the series when he got elected. And I remember they asked me to do like a PSA and everything like that, where we talk about what's the first thing you're going to do and say to Obama when he, you know, gets into office.

Me thinking I'm being funny. I was like, I'm gonna give him a hip hop hug. And I'm gonna tell. I was like, I'm going to give him a hip hop hug. And I'm going to tell him, be careful. Guess whose segment didn't make the freaking. Yeah. But by the way, Don, that leads us into that sketch we always laugh about. Who is it? It's Jordan Peele.

Yeah. That sketch, you guys know where he's playing Obama and how he greets white people versus black people? Yeah. That shit's hilarious. So to all the black people, he's giving hip-hop hugs. Yeah. Which really segues into this episode very well. Yes, it actually does.

We didn't even intend to, but it dovetails perfectly with this episode. So before we get going into that, let's finish this conversation about family feud daniel and joelle i know you guys had some freaking uh surreal moments on saturday first i would love to hear daniel got the deadpan look away i was so jealous sorry and it was a perfect setup too it was wonderful by the way daniel someone said to me on my on instagram because they knew i would talk about it on stuff they stuff. They were like, what's your – did you get the deadpan look away into my stuff? I'm like, no, fucking Daniel did. Sorry, Joelle. Go ahead.

No, it's okay. It's okay. Listen, I – when you guys were like feeling fetal, I was like, I don't know. Like game show, corny. I'm just not sure about it. But then Daniel got hyped for it, and I was like, you know, I don't want, like game show, corny. I'm just not sure about it. But then Daniel got hyped for it. And I was like, you know, I don't want to miss it. I don't know how excited I am, but I don't want to not be there either.

And so I was like, let's just do it. Like, let's just go. So the whole day I'm like, okay, we're going to the feud. And I picked up in a black car. It was like very fancy for, you know, low level me. They were like, we're going to pick you up in a black car. And we're going to pop you in a trailer for like five minutes and then you're going to do hair and makeup and then go on.

So I got like the whole like Hollywood feel, which was kind of cool. But then, guys, it's good. I don't know if it's going to show up on camera when you watch the episode, but all three of them like lit up like sparklers. They were like, oh, my God, we're here and it's happening. Take pictures. And then like they were like children. And it was so sweet.

And then Steve Harvey walked out. Was it contagious? It was absolutely contagious. By the time all of us were in the green room and the producer came in and was, like, breaking everything down for us and explaining, like, the rules and what was going to happen and give us, like, a little strategy how-to, I was like, oh, man, this is it. And then when you step on it's like bright lights big city in there it's hot under the lights and you see the podium with a thing and luckily zach was like joel test out the buzzer first like give it a shot because i was i would have been too nervous i wanted my team i wanted my team prepared and i was like joel did

you try out the buzzer because you need to chart the buzzer it was the best advice i got all that day and then yeah when steve harvey came out i was like oh man this is big by the time we're answering questions we were just in the flow and we were like really became a team like very fast we were like yeah no we have to win today uh and like i'm not a very competitive person a little competitive but i felt my spirit come out so it was overall just a really wonderful experience it was fun it's funny like i'm not normally super competitive about a lot of things, but Donald and Bill both really are. And I was like, but yesterday I was competitive and I knew, like, I didn't want to let the team down. I got super into it.

Yeah. I was, I had been waiting for that moment for years. But it was the kind of moment that you think is never, ever going to happen. You know, you're watching these things on TV, any, any game show.

I always say to myself, you know, I think I can sit here now and answer these questions, but I know the second that I get in the hot seat and I'm under the lights, all bets are off. I think I'm going to fuck up. You never know. But I,

without spoilers, I was proud of all of us. We handled every single moment with grace and poise and with... Even when we lost. I'm sorry, shit. Even with wrong answers, even everything, like, you know, no matter what, each of those moments, we crushed that. And I, like, it really all hit me at the very, you know, as the show was culminating. That was the moment that I was like, Oh, my God, we're on Celebrity Family Feud.

We're on television right now. We are here. And I know I said this to Joelle, like we I grabbed her by the shoulders. I was joelle we're on family feud right now how did we get here how did we get here how did this happen and listen i gotta tell you go ahead no please we brought you there that's what i was gonna say i'm so thankful listen i've done a lot uh you honor me hold on you honor me you honor me listen i um i've done a lot of i've been fortunate enough to do a lot of cool celebrity things and donald has too we've been in the public eye well i've been in the public eye for 20 years now and i have to say that was one of the most fun perks of uh of the whole of the whole run because it just i don't

know it's just something about it, growing up on it. The game is so silly and simple. It's so silly. But it's just fun. I don't know, man. I couldn't stop smiling. I'm still smiling today over it. I can't wait for everyone to see it.

I can't wait either. I'm sorry to tell you it doesn't air until the summer. I think they just shoot a bunch of them and then air them during the summer. But we'll, of course, keep you posted on when it's going to come out. And then just to finish the live show, thank you guys for all for tuning in. I want you to know, and I hope it showed, that we put a lot of effort and love into it. And Colin was incredible.

Colin sealed the deal, man. He was such a great guest. Good job, Zach. Yeah, that was fun. That was really fun. I sent him cupcakes on behalf of all of us. He said they were inappropriate? What?

He said for the naughty cupcakes? Naughty cupcakes. That's what he said. That could just be some Scottish slang for good. No, I think he means naughty because they're so sweet. Oh, I thought. No, I didn't send him like a bunch of nipples like pornographic cupcakes that would have been the best day ever no no i just sent him cupcakes but i know he doesn't drink so i i didn't want to send him booze so i was like yeah as you know

from the song when you're giving up the drink and those nasty cigarettes, I leave the party early, at least with no regrets. And he's not sleeping with, what's her name, so much anymore. Now, did you think that that was, I don't think, I think they're still together. I think it was just an old man joke. He was saying like self-deprecatingly, like, I don't, we don't have sex that much anymore. Right. I like sleeping with Marie, not as much anymore. But I didn't know if he was saying like, we're know if he was saying I'm pretty sure they're still together

It don't get hard to get used to Speaking of Your character in this episode Is so stoked to have sex And I'm sitting there laughing And I'm going this is Donald This is Donald coming through Donald playing Donald

And on that note let's 5, 6, 7, 8. He's got stories about a show we made. About a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate. I said he's got stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. And we're back. And we're back. Well, it's not a commercial. We don't say that.

You were very funny in this episode. You made me laugh. I had a lot of fun in this episode, I could tell. I don't remember this episode much, but I love the fact that Turk is willing to let JD ruin his chances of staying a doctor for sex with his wife. Yeah. Because that's real. Turk is very passionate about preventing JD from breaking his oath, his Hippocratic oath, until Carla offers sex. And he's like, no.

I would do the same thing. Like, I'm going to be honest with you. Sex with your wife is like, listen, I'm not saying your wife, I'm saying if you're married, when you get to have sex with your wife,

it's one of the best things ever. And I am, I don't know that everyone feels that way. I think you can, you, you, you have a, everyone feels that way. Cause the ones that don't, you, you have a- Everyone feels that way

because the ones that don't feel that- No, I think there's plenty of people that are probably over having sex with their wives. No, they didn't. They're not having enough sex with their wives and they want to have more sex

with their wives. And so because of that, they're like, damn, I wish I'm fucking mad and I'm over this. I'm over not having enough sex with my wife. But I'm telling you right now,

there's nothing better than sex with your wife. Okay. Nothing. I stand corrected. I'm going to tell you that right now. But I do think that you are— Because it doesn't happen often. I'm sorry.

I think that you, as we've established on this podcast, in a beautiful way, are still 1,000% so sexually attracted to your wife in a way that a lot of wives and husbands might be jealous of that. I think you're an example of how you guys managed to keep that fire going. What do you think the secret is to keeping the fire going? Sex. But I'm, no, I'm saying like, how do you keep the, your sexual, if you're together for 15 years some people get bored of their partner you're saying i don't i'm obsessed with her no listen sex is good always always there's no sex unless it's unless it's you know unless there's you know there are

rules to it but for the most part you're gonna have a good time you know when you have sex hi i'm donald fazon for intercourse i recommend it you're gonna have a good time i mean like think about it though even even at your worst zach when you don't want to have sex and it's presented to you and you're like all right fine i do i'll do it by the end of it you're like, alright, fine, I'll do it. By the end of it, you're like, this is the best! You're always having fun, dude. Was that your impersonation of me coming to climax? Yes. Okay. Daniel, I'm gonna need that on

the soundboard, please. Got you, bud. Oh, we also forgot to get Florence saying, Donald, you're so hot, because she offered to combat this. Zach, I love you. With something like, Donald, you're so fit. So listen to that.

Just that voice alone. Imagine that saying it to you. It's saying it to you, and you know how it makes you feel. Hold on. Let me try. Let me try. I'm going to close my eyes and just imagine it's happening to me. Hey, girl.

What you up to? Zach, I love you. Yeah, I know you do, girl. Oh, yeah, I like it. I can see it. It's me. Hey, girl. What you up to? Exactly. Love you. Yeah, I know you do, girl. Oh, yeah, I like it. I can see where that's going. It's good, right? Yeah. Oh, my God.

See what I'm saying? See what I'm saying? So I'm always happy, and I'm just like Turk when it comes to sex with the wife. Yeah. Yeah, you are. You are. You are. You're absolutely right, though.

All kidding aside, that is exactly who I am as a person and who I've always been as a person. If I'm in love and it's offered, sex that is, and it hasn't been in the equation for a long time, yeah, I'll just about drop anything. Yeah, or go grab 40 coats that aren't yours. That aren't mine. Right. That was funny. All right. Let's dive in.

It is. So this is. We're going backwards now. We're going backwards because on the live show we did my quarantine. My quarantine. Which we will eventually put out. But for now, we're going to My Hypocritical Oath. Hypocratical, right?

Or hypocritical, yes. Hypocritical Oath, written by Tim Hobart, directed by Craig Zisk, very talented fella. This is Christy Farris' first episode. She did a bunch. It's J.D.'s love interest.

And Nurse Tisdale is not only back, but has a line for the first time. Yeah, she does have a line in this episode. She's like, he's coding or something like that. He's coding, yes. Yeah. And Nurse Tisdale isn't used as an object of just being hot. She actually just has a line and no one says anything about her looks the first time.

It's good, though. The Flava Flav outfit. I remember cracking up shooting this, too. Come on, buddy. Just the fact that we're trying to go to an African-American club. Not only are we just trying

to go to a club, we're trying to go to an African-American club. Why didn't Turk debrief me? The first clip, I'm wearing hammer pants. And you hammer time in. Yeah, I hammer time in.

We obviously got in the car together. You didn't say, like, bro, I don't know if the hammer outfit is a good idea at the club. Then, second example, I'm in a full Flava Flav outfit with the clock. Yes. And I said, man, it's only 10 o'clock. I think I improvised that, right? Yeah, you did. That was funny.

And then we finally get into the club. But we get into the club because Carla pays the bouncer off for you and I to get in. You don't have any bouncer spitting game. I would have thought a little something to say. I'm just going to say something.

Isn't that the same guy that when you're wearing the headphones and you go, I wish it could be nice if I could touch your body, and he turns and looks and you go, not you. Yeah, I think it might be. I think that's the same guy. I think they went to the We Want a Giant Muscular 6'7 Casting office, and he got called in twice. Twice, yeah.

And he obviously can act. Some fellas have the look but can't act. But he, yeah. He was very funny. Yeah, he was funny. That was very funny. You didn't even say anything. All you said was like, it's about time. He was like, you're out.

Yeah, but you, you tried to bust the bonics on me. And then I tried to bust. Your bonics went awry. I don't know if it was the bonics. I tried to talk like Snoop Dogg, I guess, with the Dizzle. Well, whatever you call that, you were like, listen, let us in this Mizzle, and it'll be Tizzle for Shizzle. He's like, you out, too. You out, too.

And then Carla pays him off. Now, the hardest I laughed the whole episode, dude. Yeah, when we dig in the club. No, but dude, because I always laugh when you do this fucking dance. So I'm doing the robot, and it's embarrassing. And Carla's like, Tark, Tark, stop, always laugh when you do this fucking dance. So I'm doing the robot and it's embarrassing. And Carla's like, Tark, Tark, stop, JD. He's doing the. And as she looks back, you come in doing what you call a B-boy fucking strut.

What do you do with your arms, dude? I don't know, dude. I don't know, dude. The fact that it's on beat cracks me up every time, dude. It's so funny, though. That shit is hilarious. And I just love, I love any time Turk is exposed, like, as big a nerd as JD. Because Turk always tries, especially in front of fellow African-Americans, to seem, like, cool and tough. But he couldn't hold it in.

He's got to be as dorky as JD on the dance floor. Turk was excited, too. We got in. We finally got in. That shit was so funny, dude. Our dance floor. Turk was excited too. We got in. We finally got in. That shit was so funny, dude. Our dance moves are so funny. They were very funny. I laughed really hard at that. Dude, when we

cut, that is such a funny cut. When Carla turns to her right. Turk, you gotta stop JD. He's... And then we cut back and you're coming in with that strut. And then I come in. Yeah, you raise your arms. That shit is so funny, the way you raise your arms.

Oh, my gosh. I laughed really hard at that. I laughed hard at that, and I laughed hard at freaking the Todd grabbing somebody, another African-American male in the hallway, pointing at Carla and going, her, her, she's not black. First it goes, Todd, first of all, we learn that Todd thinks that Judy is black. And she says, Todd, I'm not black. And he goes, right.

And I'm not straight. And then he disappears. And then he grabs a black man. And he's like, you're just hearing whisper, there. Is she black? And the guy goes, no, man. No, man. Crazy. Fucking no, man. No, man. Crazy.

That was hilarious, dude. What about when I go, baby, you know you're his world? What was that? That's because I mess up in front of Carla where I'm talking about. I'm talking about. You have to forgive me for this. I don't have notes to take. That's okay. i'm here you were talking about um the fact that you hadn't dated a lot of black women and that you didn't end

up with a black woman and how you wish you had and then right probably sort of makes a face and jd jumps in and is like hey you know you his world that's right she's like i didn't i was trying to i don't have a d on the word world i'm like baby you know you you his world That's right She's like I was trying to I don't have a D On the word world I'm like Baby you know you're his world I wonder if you asked me before How do I say Do I say world

Or world Yeah what's the correct way To say it Do I say world Or world World World Baby you know you're his world

That shit was funny Now the moth joke I thought was really funny Yeah And then Whirl, whirl, whirl. Baby, you know you're his whirl. That shit was funny. Now, the moth joke I thought was really funny. Yeah. He totally gets distracted and loses track of his joke when he goes in there. And then, you know, maybe, yeah, we do dentistry, but also some orthodontics. Was that written? Was that all written down?

Do you improvise that? I think I remember making up a bunch of that. I mean, I think what was written was that J.D. fucks up the joke, but I think we just riffed on, like, really, how long can you fuck up a joke, stall, and then try and get back to the joke at the end. That shit was hilarious. And then Todd goes up to Elliot,

hey, Elliot, your boobies look hot today. Right, and that's the translation actually Yeah, that was clever, the subtitles They should have done more of that, that's a good funny runner of a joke I'm sure we've done it before, I'm sure this wasn't the first time we did it It could be Let's ask, you know, you want to ask Trevor Wicke?

Yes, let's ask Trevor Wicke We haven't heard from him in a while, and by the way, Trevor Wicke while we're talking to you, there's a little bit of an odd fuck-up on today's Wikipedia, and I only mention it because I went to look at my favorite spot, which is trivia on Scrubs Wiki. And in the trivia section, which I always read for every episode, it says, at the end of the episode, Dr. Cox eventually does get to watch the Lakers heat game,

only to be taped over by Kelso telling him not to mess with his treadmill and telling him the score of the game. Okay, that's a plot point. That's not trivia, Trevor. What is that doing in the trivia section? Good question. I want to flag it, okay? I'm furious about this, Trevor.

I know you do this solely out of the love of your heart, not for anybody. But that is not supposed to be in the trivia section, Trevor. What the heck? No, Trevor, this was a funny gag in this episode about the subtitles being different from what the people are actually saying.

Was that used in other episodes? Did we do that? I feel like we did. I could be wrong. Hey, y'all. By the fourth season, Bill and the other Scrubs writers have began interweaving their genius about the medium of television into the fabric of Scrubs episodes themselves. This subtitle gag is only used in this episode, but the meta references only pick up speed. Thank you, Trevor. Let's take a break.

We'll be right back after these fine words. Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine. Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.

You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting. That's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects.

I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox. And take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture.

You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal, with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my

cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world. Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five basic strategies to help parents raise good humans. Florence Fabrikant about the authenticity in the world of food writing. Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast. Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. By the way, one of my fans asked me not to say, it's one thing when we say, oh, this wasn't our favorite,

but not to keep saying it over and over again, she complained. Because sometimes I'm saying it about an episode that's her favorite and it's ruining the episode for her because i or you are saying we think it's mad wait hold up so every time we've said that this wasn't our favorite episode it was her favorite episode and no what she said and i'm not saying i'm going to honor her request what she said was it's one thing when you and don Donald mention you don't love the episode once. But can you please stop repeating it over and over again within that episode? Because there's been occasion where I've loved that episode and you've ruined it for me.

Well, that's too bad. Well, that's what I wanted to say to her. We're doing a recap show. You know, like I said, the haters help us form the show also. So help us create the show also. All right. Well, there's part of me that wanted to be like, give me a break, lady. And then another part of me was like, well, I don't want to ruin the show for her.

I don't know. It's hard. It's hard, Donald. It's hard to take in constructive criticism and not get too mad. I get it. I get it, man. This is, you know, we were built with emotions, and we were built with this little thing called being sensitive to.

I'm too sensitive for this fucking career. I quit. All right. Well, you know what? What? There are a lot of people in line. I was about to say there's a lot of people in line behind you waiting to get up in there, man. You step off that line, it's a wrap.

That's for anybody out there. I ain't trying to quit. I started a job I'm so excited about tomorrow. We start day one of principal photography. When? On Cheaper by the Dozen tomorrow morning at crack of dawn. Right on. You work the first day too, huh?

What's that? I work the first day. And I'm really excited. I'm so excited. I love these kids. We've been rehearsing. They're so talented and adorable. And Gab Union is really funny and really pretty.

And we're just going to have a blast. I'm so waiting for the freaking network to announce my ability. I mean, announce that I'm on the show, man, so that I can, uh, tell you guys what's going on.

I'm sincerely dope gig. We can't talk about it yet because it hasn't been announced. Huh? I'm sincerely excited. You know, a couple of friends of mine have read the script already and they were like, this shit is wild, dude.

Like Joelle read it. Bill read it. Well, how did you read it? My friend auditioned for is wild, dude. Like, Joelle read it. Bill read it. Joelle, how did you read it? My friend auditioned for one of the characters. Oh. Same thing with Bill. Bill's daughter auditioned for one of the characters.

Charlotte did? Yeah. And he was like, dude, the script is amazing. It's good, man. I'm going to have so much fun. Oh, dude, I'm so psyched for you. And it's funny that we're both literally going back to work to jobs we love at the same time. That's nuts, right?

So we're kind of, I think we're going to, audience, we're going back to work. So we're not going to be able to do two a week, right, Joel? But we're going to try and bank a few, right? We're going to try. We're going to try. we want you to know we don't want you to think that we're we're very conscious of how much people uh love us to do this and we're we're doing this on a sunday for the first time thank you to joelle and daniel for being beautifully uh accommodating and then um we'll try and find days where i happen to be off and donald happens to be off but if that doesn't work out, we're just going to record these on Sunday and they'll come out once a week.

But we might surprise you and go, hey, Donald and I both had two days off and we banged out two. But right, Joelle, isn't that the rough plan? That is absolutely the rough plan. And I'll also do a couple of like I'll do another fan favorites. And I'm planning to put a poll up soon for fans to vote. It'll be on my Twitter about the favorite stories that you guys have told. Oh, that's a great idea. And I'll just do a quick episode of just our favorite stories from you guys.

Let's get back to the episode. Yes. You said the only difference between dating a black girl and a white girl is if when a black girl asks you if her butt looks big, you say, hell yes. I don't know if that's true. I don't know if that's true. And I also don't know if everyone now seems to love a big, juicy booty. So it might be a universal truth. I know.

Joelle, your thoughts? At that time, I would say that was accurate. um at that time i would say that was accurate white women uh at least white women in my sphere were very concerned about whether their uh posteriors were too large um i would say there are many key differences for dating all kinds of races you know uh some cultures are like listen you better leave those shoes at the door is the most disrespectful thing you can do don't bring shoes into my house. Some cultures are like, you got to eat this food, even if you don't like it. Like, don't embarrass me in front of my mother.

Just eat. So I say get to know your lady and her culture and her family stuff. It's probably very different across many different lines. has pontificated that white women's uh again sweeping generalization uh but are are more open to having a larger juicier bottom in 2021 oh yeah may have been in whatever year this was yo i'm telling you right now shit changed man like what happened all of a sudden white women had ass got asses all of a sudden man like uh beyonce and great doctors great uh yeah but somebody's somebody's somebody I think it's in the food that we shop at the grocery

store restructured the workouts Donald there's oh that's true that are like get those squats so you can get the ass that you want right chicks have been having fat asses for a minute now it's not something new this ain't 20 you know this is not all white women

have are genetically come out with tiny posteriors that is true uh but before it was shameful like they were like oh you know you're getting big and you just slim that butt down or like wow she's got a wide back or whatever and now it's a totally different game yeah you get that ass girl indeed listen i i have no bottom and i've been now working on it with squats and lunges get that ass girl. Get that ass girl. Indeed. Listen, I have no bottom and I've been working on it with squats

and lunges because I'm trying to get that ass. Yes. Build you a back shelf. Get that ass boy. Yeah. I'm trying to get a mantle

like Donald's. You want yourself you want to be able to hold a glass. Those of you who tuned in to the live show saw that we did

a dating segment for Joelle and a young woman named Sam won. Have you had any discourse at all? Have you set up when the Zoom date is going to be? We're working on it. I think we're going to go for Wednesday, but I'll definitely let everybody know once it happens. I'm very excited.

It should be a lot of fun. If you saw the show. Well, we should also mention if you didn't catch the show and now you're having buyer's remorse, you have until Friday to watch it. Oh, I didn't know that. So you can still buy tickets for our live show right now. Oh, I didn't know that. So up until Good Friday, you can still go to that same link and watch the taped thing. And I'll put it in the show notes here.

It's $10 a ticket. And we should mention that a percentage of those proceeds go to Stop AAPI Hate, which is Stop Asian American Pacific Islander Hate. So it goes to a good cause. It was a fun-ass show. It's two hours of entertainment. It's two hours. And we have HD cameras so you can see that Donald doesn't crack and that I have wrinkles.

Now, Joel, Daniel, do you have the ability to play the theme song, or is that something you've got to put in later? Right now? No, I have to put it in later. I'm sorry. All right. Well, should we play the song for people? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And actually, I'll send you Travis, the songwriter,

sent me a slightly more polished version with a few extra funky lyrics. Did Travis like that it was used on the live show? Oh, my God. He loved it. He thought it was amazing. He really enjoyed the fan reaction. So I don't know. We'll see.

Maybe we can recruit Travis. Yeah. Maybe we can recruit Travis to Yeah. Maybe we can recruit Travis to write more hooky songs for us and we'll, we'll. That song was fire. All right. So here it is, everybody. We're going to play it for you because it's so darn good. And this will be the theme whenever we discuss Joelle'sique is down to get down. No matter what's between your legs, tomorrow morning you could be making an X.

Joelle Monique is down to get down. Oh, yeah. Joelle Monique is down to get down. I mean, the lyrics are just fire. Stellar. So good. No matter what's between your legs, I mean, the lyrics are just fire. Stellar. So good. No matter what's between your legs, in the morning you could be making her eggs.

Yeah. Joelle Monique is down to get down. Down to get down. Joelle Monique. Joelle Monique is. It's really hooky. It's really hooky. It's really great. He's talented.

What's his name, Joelle? Let's make sure to give him a shout out again. He's Travis Wavey, two V's in each word on Instagram so go follow him so yeah so he wrote so Joelle you promised to keep us posted when you've had your date maybe take a

screenshot or something so we can just I don't know we'll Instagram it out to the fans my mom approved the audience choice she was very excited oh that's so sweet my mom We could, I don't know, we'll Instagram it out to the fans. I'm very invested. My mom approved the audience choice. She was very excited. Oh, that's so sweet. My mom couldn't figure out how to get on.

She was excited to do it. And then when the show was up and running and we were all in it, I got a text from her saying I can't figure it out and I couldn't be available for tech support from my mom. My mom did not buy a ticket and she did not watch the show. I'm just going to put it out there. Thank you. Come on, mom.

By the way, is your mom down, interested to come on the show? Have you broached that subject with her? I haven't even talked about it with her yet, but I imagine if I said, hey, you want to be on the podcast? She'd be like, yeah. Text her tonight. Describe to her that it would be in the spirit of my mom, in that we'll talk about funny stuff related to you

and then we'll go into her profession agenting and stuff right yeah no i'm sure she i'm sure she would be down i can't speak for her but i'm almost 100 positive i feel like knowing your mom she would come on and be a bigger ham than you by the way speaking of ham okay it's not even speaking of him by the way you guys have to watch Okay. It's not even speaking of ham. By the way, you guys have to watch something that is a game changer. I already texted these guys in the chat. But I'm telling you listeners, Netflix has a new documentary that's called Seaspiracy. Okay?

Seaspiracy. Like C, like the C. S-E-A. S-E-A. And then Spiracy, like C, like the C. S-E-A. S-E-A. And then Spiracy. And it's on Netflix, and it is basically an expose of the fishing industry, and

it is un-fucking-believable well done. We're losing fish, aren't we? We're not going to have fish soon. Yes, there is a year that at this rate, the ocean will be dead. But more importantly than that, the documentary is one of the, you know, my favorite kind of documentary is when the documentarian sets out to make a documentary about one thing. And then as they dive in and do their research, everything takes a right turn and they go, I wasn't expecting my documentary to be about this.

But in doing the documentary, I've exposed something massive. So they were – so, okay. I don't want to tell any spoilers. I know, but I got to ask questions because this is such an interesting topic and it's so on brand with what we talk about on Fake Doctors, Real Friends, as far as, you know,

trying to woke or wake our audience to shit that's going on out there. I just have one question. So he was going out there to do a expose on what it's like to be a fisherman? And then it turned into something? Okay. No, he was going out there saying, I want to talk about why the sea is being destroyed. And I assume like everyone that it's one of the main problems is plastics because of all

the press of the straws. is plastics because of all the press of the straws. And look how quickly everyone has changed their feelings about straws because it was so successfully pushed out there. That turtle. The turtle and other things, it was like so put out there so effectively. So he's like, I want to go dive deeper. What is this thing with all the plastics in the ocean? Who's doing it?

How is it happening? And what he, I don't want to spoil too much, but what he learns is that the plastics that you think are the problem, of course a problem, but that is one little tip of the iceberg. And he exposes what the source of the real problems are. And you just sit there with your mouth open and it ends. And Florence is like, well, you know we're vegetarians now. And I'm like, well, let's slow down.

Let's both sleep on. She's like, no, we're not sleeping on anything. We're vegetarians now. I'm like, everybody calm down. No, but it is very – you don't have to become a vegetarian. It's up to you. But just – I'm telling you, you can't not watch this thing and be a human on planet Earth. If you have Netflix, please check it out. Okay. That's what's up. I'm very you, you can't not watch this thing and be a human on planet Earth. If you have Netflix, please check it out.

Okay. That's what's up. I'm very excited. I went through my phone just like sending all my favorite people the link. Like, you got to watch this. You got to watch this. All right. Should we take a break?

We're going to take a break and we'll be right back. Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine. Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.

You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting. That's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it.

We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from Jon and the team of correspondents and contributors.

The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal, with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson about the geniuses who change the world.

Encore Jane about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman about the five basic strategies to help parents raise good humans. Florence Fabrikant about the authenticity in the world of food writing. Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast. Florence Fabrikant about the authenticity in the world of food writing. Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast. Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. And we're back. I got that song in my head now Joel Monique is down to get down

God that guy can write a hook Yeah By the way Joel if you end up marrying Sam You're going to play that as you walk down the aisle Oh boy That would be very interesting She was super cute by the way Yeah I only picked cute people Oh, boy. That would be very interesting. She was super cute, by the way.

Yeah. I'm not going to lie. She was super cute. Well, they were both beautiful, but she was super cute, and I loved all her Funko Pops, and the fact that she's a cosplayer, it felt very bespoke. I don't understand cosplayers who want to watch In the Heights and not a movie that has a bunch of cosplay. There are multifaceted people. You to watch In the Heights and not a movie that has a bunch of cosplay. There are multifaceted people. You can cosplay In the Heights.

Look at Joelle. She loves Marvel superheroes, but she loves musicals. How do you cosplay? You pick a specific character and you wear the outfit they wore in the musical. By the way, are there musical theater cosplayers? Hell yes. I'm sure there are. I know there's Broadway, obviously canceled because of COVID,

but just like there's Comic-Con, there's Broadway-Con. And I didn't know if people went in costumes for famous. Yes, absolutely. Joelle, you probably love Broadway-Con. Oh my God. Listen, any place you can sing unabashedly in the open, that's for me. I should have been, I agree with you, Joelle. I should have been in I agree with you, Joelle. I should have been in whatever reality

fame is in. Like whatever, whatever alternate reality the fame school is in that you actually jump and dance on taxis and stuff like that. I should have been born in that reality, man. Indeed. So Dr. Cox is really stoked about this particular sports match between the Lakers and the Heat. Donald, do you, do you remember this time? This is 2005. Big Lakers Heat. Kobe and Shaq split up at this point and they had beef like big time.

They didn't get along in real life? Something happened with Kobe in Colorado and the police in Colorado where Shaq and he did not agree on what he said to the cops, pretty much. What Kobe said to the cops. And because of that, they had beef.

While on the same team together, they had beef. And Kobe beat the charge and Shaq was shipped out and shack then went to miami where he played with duane wade and won a title duane wade who's my new uh gonna be my hopefully my new bff because uh you know i'm gonna be friends with him and gabby i picture hanging out with them and all their cool friends. That's cool. You fit right in. Do you think I fit in?

I hope so. No, absolutely. I know Gabby loves you, so maybe you and I are going to get invited to hang out with all their cool friends. You know, Gabrielle Union used to invite me to all of the parties back in the day. I'm going to get you back into the cool kids party. As you know, I'm an introvert when it comes to shit like that. And I don't like doing shit like that. No disrespect to anybody out there.

But I talk a big game when you're in my face. And you're like, yo, I'm throwing a party. I'm like, I'm there. But then when it's time to go to the party, I ain't going. But whenever I see Dwayne Wade and Gabby hanging out with all their cool friends, I'm like, that's going to be me. I'm going to be with them. Yeah. I don't know if that's true at all.

Why wouldn't it be? Oh, I just think that you and I are going to be like on a boat with them somewhere having margaritas. I'm down for that. Joelle Monique is down to get down. I bet you Joelle Monique is down for that too. Yeah, she is. 10,000%. All right.

Let's invite the guest in, Joelle. Let's have a guesty guest yes say hello they got married on saturday oh really on friday yeah on friday say hello to paul kernick hi guys guys and this is my new wife, Laura Sternwig. Oh, congratulations. And Laura Sternwig! Congratulations.

I like your ring. When did you get married? Two days ago. Oh, my goodness. It's brand new. How's it going so far? Has anything changed in the last 48 hours um sorry he's changing the cut yeah okay now we can see you all

yeah has anything changed in the last four years i don't think so no no um i mean yeah it's all been very surreal it's kind of i mean um we're doing it just the two of us we're eloping um yeah we did a we're here in a beautiful flinders island in uh just northeast of tasmania and uh yeah whoa whoa okay wait i have so many questions you guys live on a little island next to tasmania no we actually live in Melbourne Traveled over here for the wedding Oh I got it So and now over there COVID is gone enough so you can have a gathering No gathering It was just us

Oh you were local But COVID is gone enough That you guys could have a gathering If you wanted to right Yes I'm not sure how big But yes We hope one day to be able to do that too yeah we hope that we can do what new zealand did yeah yeah definitely but um most of our family is so we're not neither of us are from australia so we've kind of been

in lockdown over over in melbourne for a long time just the two of us and as Australia's did Australia do as well as New Zealand did because we here in the states we we saw all this video of like how New Zealand like kicked it and like they had no but no patients left did Australia end up doing as well um I'd say eventually most of Australia did pretty well, but where we were living in Melbourne, they had it quite bad for a while. So they had probably one of the lockdowns for easily sort of four or five months. Yeah, we had a lockdown.

It was mandatory to wear a mask outside and you could only move like five kilometres from your own place um yeah and like you're only allowed outside for an hour um and yeah one person from a food shopping things like that so wow well i'm glad that you're out of it and i'm glad that you're married you look like a beautiful couple you're gonna have a gorgeous looking children let's get started on that as soon as possible and watch out for those tasmanian devils man those things are vicious be careful they're all around here yeah a lot of wombats and wallabies though okay um do you guys have a question for us

yes we do actually um so in the episode uh I think episode 17 of season four, you did the hilarious sitcom episode. Yeah. We just wanted to know, ask you, Donald and Zach, if there was any sitcom, like past or present, you would have loved to be in, what would it be? Oh, my goodness. So many. You've heard us talk talking on the podcast we grew up on them we love them and in fact you know a lot of people thought we were making fun of them on that show but we were gently poking them because they can be super silly and um we were poking through we were poking at some of the tropes of of sitcoms but we love them what would which one we want to be on? I don't even know. I want it to be on The Jeffersons.

I want it to be on Facts of Life. I want it to be on The Cosby Show. I want it to be on A Different World. You would have been great on A Different World. Yeah. It all goes with the crushes I had growing up. I wanted to be on The Cosby Show because Lisa Bonet.

I wanted to be on A Different World wanted to be on a Cosby show because Lisa Bonet, right? Yes. I wanted to be on a different world because Lisa Bonet, Jasmine Guy, Marissa Torme, et cetera. I wanted to be on, I wanted to be on

Saved by the Bell, obviously, because of Lark Voorhees, Lisa Turtle. I wanted to, you know what I mean? Like,

you go down the list. The Jeffersons, I don't know why I wanted to be on that show. Somebody told me when I was a kid that I looked like Sherman Hemsley, who was the star of the Jeffersons. And from that moment on, I was like,

well, let me check out what this dude, let me check out what this dude does. And what was really awesome was when I was doing Clueless, the television show, Sherman Hemsley was doing Amen at the time. And it was on the same Paramount lot. And they asked me, they were like, we're going to have somebody come in

to play your grandfather. Is there anybody you want? And I was like, you've got to get Sherman Hemsley. If you can get Sherman Hemsley, my whole life I was told I look like George Jefferson. If you can get this man up in here to play my grandfather, it'd be the best day ever.

And he did it, and it was awesome. That's awesome. Was he a nice guy? He was a great guy. He was such a nice guy, man. And I remember just thinking to myself at that moment, I couldn't be on the Jeffersons, but I somehow bought the Jeffffersons to me and it

was it was it was great that's kind of like what happened on scrubs with john ritter i was like they were like who could be your dad i'm like oh wow if you left that up to me there's no question it would be john ritter right so yeah three's company as i've mentioned was my favorite growing up i just i was on like every while while my parents were making dinner there it was always it was the show that was in syndication at like six or something we could watch it right before dinner um cheers was a special one family ties family ties i love that i loved alf alf what are you doing alf max right i think he just passed away didn't he pass away Max Wright

I don't know can you look that up for me I don't want to say someone's deceased if they're not June 26, 2019 Max Wright passed rest in peace Max Wright you brought me a lot of laughter yeah man I love sitcoms and if Donald's going by girls that had

crushes on it definitely would have been Charles in Charge because- Oh my gosh, Nicole Eggert. Hello. Nicole Eggert and Charles in Charge awakened feelings in me. Dude, for the first time ever, not the first time ever, but I knew I had never watched the show. And my buddy was an actor growing up. His name was Cameron Johan.

Give a shout out to Cameron Johan and his mom. Cameron Johan, here's your shout out. And Susan Johan. Cameron Johan's been in a lot of movies when I was a kid. He was in a lot of movies. You can look his name up and find him. His mother was a photographer who took pictures, like headshot pictures. So my first headshots were by his mom. Anyway, I used to always go over to his house because he would, you know, he was into stop motion animation when we were kids and we would, you know, I was into that. And so we would, you know, make movies together. One day he showed me a picture because he had just gotten back from LA and it was a picture of him, Nicole Eggert, and two other people. And this is prime Nicole Eggert.

Were you thinking like, I'm going to meet Nicole Eggert? I didn't know who she was, but all of my buddies from the neighborhood came over just to stare at this fucking picture. This is before internet. This is before any of that stuff. So they're all in his room looking at this picture of him and three other people kind of like in arm and arm hugging, saying, you know, this was a great summer, whatever it was, right? I did a movie with y'all. It was great. But Nicole Eggert's in the picture.

So we're all going fucking nuts for it. I'm like, who is this girl? They're like, she's on the show Charles in Charge. Don't you know right then and there, I looked for that show. Yeah, you did. Every day I looked for that show to find it. And then when I finally did find it, it never left my sight. That one and

Who's the Boss? Same thing. Somebody was like, yo, there's this really cute girl on Who's the Boss? I was like, yeah, right. And they showed me a picture of Alyssa Milano and I was like, I gotta watch Who's the Boss? Alyssa Milano, who married one of my agents.

That's cool. Dave Bugliari so I said wow you married America's sweetheart um wait I wanted to say something else when you said uh Nicole Egger that was Nicole Egger oh she auditioned for Scrubs she was almost on Scrubs get out of here oh it's hard do you remember it was one of the love interests and I was like oh my god you guys have to hire her and I think Bill ended up choosing someone else for some reason. But she was great and beautiful. And I just remember being like, ah. Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side,

a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine. Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.

Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting. That's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me.

Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox. And take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin,

about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world. Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five Thank you. season two of the Martha Stewart podcast. Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. Do you guys have another question for us? As you recall, the show almost changed to a one-question show, but Donald led a revolt. I didn't lead the revolt.

Well, you marshaled them. I definitely marched with them. You marched with them. What's the thing that the band leader has, like a baton? A baton, yeah. I definitely spun the baton. Yeah, you had a baton in front of the group. Right.

I was the flag carrier. Absolutely. Go ahead, guys. Well, it was more like advice, I guess. So we, a little two days ago, our parents and a few close friends know about it, but we haven't told anyone else yet. And I guess it was just the best way to go about telling people that we're now married. What would your advice be? I'll tell you, this is Melbourne's favorite segment. I think we should just go into it then. It's time for Melbourne and Tasmania's favorite segment.

It's time to fix your life! All right. I think there's nothing beats a funny video. I mean, and the trick is, what's the funny video going to be, Donald? I don't know what the funny video is. You're the creative one. I know, but this is on the spot. You know, video improv isn't my specialty, but let me think.

Is there something you guys could do, something that inside joke with all of your friends and family that they would know about you guys. So they might think the video is, is you guys doing something they know you love. Let's say it's fishing or something. So you start fishing and then there's a big reveal. No,

we're not going to fish. It's we're married. You know what I mean? Like, no, I mean, that's a big reveal no we're not gonna fish it's we're married you know i mean like no i mean that's a horrible example and and i'm just saying like you you fake everybody out by saying like um this is gonna be one thing and then you throw it on did you wear a dress a white dress yeah it is okay so i would definitely the white dress should probably come back and be on you. Make the video. What do you guys think? Danil, Joelle.

Danil, Joelle, any thoughts on this? Oh my gosh. Okay, so you need to tell all of your friends that you got married in a video. Do you guys post to social media a lot? Yeah, I mean. I mean, occasionally. Okay, fair enough. Okay, that's enough. That's good. post to social media a lot? Yeah, I mean... Occasionally. That's enough. That's good.

What kind of content are you typically posting? I guess normally like couple photos, travel photos. Here's an example. Let's say you guys go out on a boat where you're in... You said you're in... They're in Tasmania. No, they said it's island north of

tasmania right yeah yeah flinders island flinders island flanders like like simpsons yeah flinders all right i'm saying all right so here's an here's an example like you you started a video um this is a bad example okay my it's the. You know, this is like in the writer's room. They go, okay, bad idea, but just listen. You're filming yourself, Paul, and you're like, oh, we're so excited. We chartered this little boat today, and there's the captain, and he's nice, and it's so beautiful. Look at that. Oh, and honey, honey, do you want to say hi? And you pan around.

She's in the full wedding dress, but she's like on the bow of the boat. And you're to say hi and you pan around she's in the full wedding dress but she's like on the bow of the boat and you're like what are you doing why would you be wearing that sweetheart because we got married you know something like that or it's like things are normal just a vacation look how pretty it is wait reveal she's in her dress and the more the more the thing is is the opposite of something you'd wear a white wedding dress to the better like if you guys were like you know in the water pulling up oysters yeah if you're chumming for sharks in the white dress yes chumming for sharks we're so excited we're we're we're for chumming for sharks and we've never done this before it's

such a cool life experience even though you have to have blood on your hands. Honey, are you having a good time? Pan around in the wedding dress, chumming for sharks with blood on your hands. I don't think that. That would be amazing. Although I just told you guys to watch this documentary about not harming fish. But anyway. There's also, if you are on a boat with a captain.

I'm on a boat with a captain, one of you, one of you have to walk up to the captain and say, look at me. I'm the captain now. One of you have to do it. What about this? One of you have to do it. What about, that's good. Wait, I'm just building off of you, Donald. The captain, captain's going to, we've already, by the way, I'm sorry if you guys can't afford it.

We've already committed to you chartering a boat. It could be a small boat. It could be a dinghy. Not a dinghy, but it doesn't have to have a bedroom. It could be a small fishing boat. But anyway, let's say... All right, so the captain's filming you, Paul, and you're driving

the boat like, look, guys, we rented a boat for the day. Look how fun this is. And then all of a sudden, I'm sorry, I forgot your name. Laura. Laura. All of a sudden, Laura steps up in the wedding dress, and she says, I'm the captain now. Which is true, Donald, right? Once you get married, the wife's the captain.

Paul, I'm sorry, but it's a wrap, dog. You know, I know you like to think you in charge of stuff, but I'll tell you get married, the wife's the captain. I'm sorry, but it's a wrap, Doug. I know you like to think you in charge of stuff, but I'll tell you right now, it's not like that. But Donald was saying lots of benefits to being married, which I won't repeat, but you'll hear when you hear the show back. Donald was saying there are many, many, many glorious benefits of being married. Yes. Earlier in the broadcast. There are quite a few benefits to being married.

All right. So that's my basic idea, guys, is that... I got nothing. I'm going to be honest with you. I would just call all your friends up and be like, hey, guys,

we didn't invite you because of COVID. We love you all and we hope to throw the biggest party when we can. And you guys can all be invited. You guys will all be invited to it.

But we're married! It would be fun to get a FaceTime call from a friend randomly and just be like in the wedding dress and shit. Be like, hey, guess what? Like, oh my god, what even happened? Oh man. But I think, you know, after like ten times, you get tired of that.

So have a backup video for all the other friends, you know? I disagree with Donald. Donald's idea is boring. My idea – you can make it bespoke. You don't have to rent the boat. But I'm saying I would laugh. If you were my friends and Paul comes on and he's showing me – or posts on social, whatever, And he's doing something that everyone does.

Look at the view and we're stoked to be on this vacation. And then there's a funny, shocking reveal of Laura in a wedding dress. I would be like, oh, shit. I would love that. It sounds like they like it, too. Yeah. They don't like your boring. Donald's idea is what if you just call everyone?

No, that's not why they fucking came on the show. I'm just trying to save the money. You're trying to freaking break them before they get a chance to have kids. They don't have to get a fucking yacht, bro. They can get a glorified dinghy. Casey, what do you think of my idea? Zach, I love you. I agree.

Boy. I love it. All right. Well, you guys can stay on because we're almost done with the show. Right, Dal? Yes. Do you guys watch this episode, by the way? My Hypocritical Oath. I mean, you're on your honeymoon, so you're not going to watch the Scrubs episode, but we're doing

My Hypocritical Oath. This is the one where JD falls. JD gets jungle fever big time in this episode. Are you still allowed to say jungle fever? I know Donald can. I can say it. Joel, am I allowed to say jungle fever? It doesn't feel right I can say it. Joel, am I allowed to say jungle fever? It doesn't feel right coming out of my lips in 2021.

I think if it doesn't feel right, stay away from it. It's a messy term. It's messy. Okay. I can say that shit. Donald can. He says he can. I'm not going to.

But this was an episode where I have a fever of the sort that Donald mentioned. Of the variety, of the aforementioned variety. Right. And then, and, and, not only that. You're the worst wingman ever in this episode. I'm the best wingman ever in this episode. Dude, you come in and you get geeked out that he played for Seton Hall, which is my hometown, by the way, South Orange. Nice.

And then you walk out because you want to talk about Seton Hall. Yeah, Seton Hall. At one point, Seton Hall was a big, big, big, big, big deal. Dude, it was when I was in high school. And all of a sudden, Seton Hall became like the team. Yeah, yeah. Very exciting. Quite a few players come out of Seton Hall.

No, but I mean like they were always in the – what did he call it? They were always in the top. NCAA tournament. They were always in the tournament, right? But one year they all of a sudden were like winning. Final four, yeah. Because it was our local little school. Yeah.

It's amazing. So he has gonorrhea? He has gonorrhea. I didn't know gonorrhea made your knees swell up and made you tired. It must. It must be a side effect because we mentioned that. I thought it was like – Gonorrhea is like – I mean, this dude is like a man whore gross because it's kind of hard to get gonorrhea, I think, in 2021, isn't it?

I don't know. This was in 2021. I'm sorry. Well, whatever it is, 2005. I still like – I don't think Gunnery is like growing on trees. He was having some dirty sex. He was putting his peep in dirtiness. There you go.

There we go. That's enough. You guys don't have to face that problem anymore because you're married. But the single man. But that's – it was really interesting though. He was willing to be with this girl and lie to the girl that he wasn't sleeping with, that he was just dating, and not really dating honorably. He wanted to keep that going so he could have his moment, his one moment,

and then say peace out to her pretty much. Oh, I know why I laughed, Donald. You come in the room. Turk comes in the room, and he goes, and he's trying to be the best wingman ever, and he goes, hey, the soup kitchen you best wingman ever and he goes hey the soup kitchen you volunteer at called and they wanted to talk yeah and then you get all obsessed

with Seton Hall and then all you want to talk about is Seton Hall and I'm like but did the did the soup kitchen where I volunteer have any messages for me yeah yeah they got that soup going. No, you were like, they're out of broth. Anyway, Seton Hall.

Seton Hall. That's why I say you're the worst wingman ever. In real life, I'm not the worst wingman. By the way, we stole the Beverly Hills Cop joke because I go, we need to solve this or things might start falling off of you. But that's taken right from Beverly Hills Cop, remember? When? He goes, tell Victor that Ramon, the fella he met at the clinic,

tell him that I have a herpes simplex 10. And I think he needs to get himself checked out before things start falling off of the man. I think you should tell him yourself. You know, I think that would be best. Tell Victor that Ramon. Ramon. The fella that he met at the clinic. Oh, no.

You know that was improvised. You know that was improvised. I just want to know if Eddie had that locked and loaded or if he just did it on the day. But that shit was hilarious. Because he walked in and the guy looks at him and says, can I help you? And he's sitting there like this. And then he perks up into the face. And it's right after he pulls up his car

to the valet and he goes can you put this car in a good spot because all this shit happened last time I parked here because he's driving that beat up car oh man sorry we stole the joke we stole the joke from them

you know I think that would be bad. All right. So the janitor has this whole thing with – Is it a cat or a dragon? Well, it's a half kitten, half monkey that he's petting. He's petting an invisible animal. And Cox says, what are you petting? It's Leonard.

He's half kitten, half monkey. Neil had some crazy improvs in this episode. Yes, he did. I wrote some of them down. He goes, because Cox ruins the M. Night Shyamalan movie. Sixth Sense. Sixth Sense for him. And the ending of that.

And then, so he's worried he's going to get back at him, erasing or ruining the score of the basketball game. So then Jander's like, I want you to do surgery on me so I can breathe underwater. He's like, no. He's like, I want a shark that can read minds. He's like, no. I want to trade lives for a year. He's like, no.

No. These are all imprompts. They had to be imprompts. I mean, God knows what else Neil said that got cut out, but Neil was just riffing random shit. JD goes to a place in his mind called Planet Glornak 7 that has no Hippocratic Oath. And how does Elliot know about the said planet? I'm sure that he has mentioned maybe during some of their lovemaking, Planet Glornak 7. And she recognized the look right away.

Like, are you at Gloranak 7? Yeah. Well, she's, you know, we've been quite intimate. So she recognizes when I'm, you know, daydreaming I'm on a non-existent planet. Maybe we even role-played. Like, let's pretend we're on Gloranak 7 and you're like an alien being. We know Elliot's down, always down for role-play. How about, yeah, she is.

Remember when I was the Mexican apple thief? Yes. How about Bill dissing Sarah's hair? Bill loves to take swipes at people, but put it in the script. When he says that Sarah looks like John Denver. So fucked up. He says, yes, what was it? Someone says says there is a kelso or a cock someone says you you've got a john denver haircut that's that's uh that's kelso that says that to her

after she's after he's given her a compliment by calling her his colleague and it means a lot to her right right she gets stoked but you know we learned that Kelso hates his colleagues and then we learned that Kelso also hates the hospital once he finds out the Turks going home to have sex yes with all the coats yes we thought what in the hell are you doing I'm going to have sex why does I hate this place I know you're so funny you're like sitting there bopping up and down because you're going to have sex. Can't wait.

Now, wouldn't Turk know what Carla's coat looks like? He just brings them all. He's just trying to get out the hospital. Yeah. He's like, you just pick one and we go. Let's go. Yeah. I imagine Turk just throws all the other coats on the ground.

The minute she says, that's mine. He's like, well, fuck these. I'll hold this for you. That would have been funny. They should have showed that. Like, that's your coat? All right fuck these I'll hold this that would have been funny they should have showed that like that's your coat alright throw these to the floor of the ICU

you ready and then so Kylie comes back and she's it's been revealed that her boyfriend is now her ex-boyfriend

and then we have a sort of flirty vibe and then Craig Zisk the director does this cool thing where the the doors close and then the heart of sacred heart is right around us that was that was that was really cool actually clever yeah good work craig very very very clever um so it was a good episode the woman who's upset that i sometimes diss episodes this was a good one

no diss this time yes may the 4th by the way is when joelle and donald's uh star wars podcast debuts how many episodes will you be dropping on may 4th one okay it's gonna be like a weekly thing yes well that's very exciting uh may the 4th um you'll you'll uh you know you'll remember because may the 4th be with you it's star wars day Day. By the way, I sent you guys a bunch of funny TikTok things in the chat. I responded. I responded. Fuck you. Yeah, I did. I can show it to you right now. I had a little bit of jazz cabbage

last night and I'm sitting there watching these funny TikTok videos and I sent them to the group chat. No one replies. I did. It hurts my feelings, guys. I did. I'm sorry. We responded to the dope documentary. I'm not on TikTok and I was not prepared. Even if you're not on TikTok, you can click on a TikTok link and go, ah, that is funny, Zach.

LOL, heart emoji. If I just send you the lol without watching, I feel like I'm a seer. I didn't understand this one. That one's hilarious. The guy's going, he's talking about how the soundtrack, the Phil Collins score to that Disney movie which one was it

Tarzan yeah he says like he's like did Phil Collins know that he did not have to bring it like this you guys realize damn it that is funny

he's like did no one tell Phil Collins this is a movie about a child raised by apes no he did not have to go this hard. This hard.

Willie Collins was coming out of the womb. You'll Be In My Heart just burst forth out of Phil Collins. And it was amazing. And we were all grateful. I have never seen that movie. Stop it! Oh, no. The guy was going crazy about how that soundtrack is amazing.

And he's like, did no one tell Phil Collins? Have you heard the soundtrack? I know the big hit, but I don't know. You'll be in my heart. You need to hear the whole thing. It is a percussive masterpiece. Yes. No matter what it takes.

It had a whole Broadway musical. Oh, my God. Yes, you'll be in my heart always. Slaps. I think I'm going to have to replace Dua Lipa with Phil Collins' Tarzan. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to tell you something right now. That Dua Lipa song is still bopping. Me too. I think I'm going to have to replace Dua Lipa with Phil Collins' Tarzan. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to tell you something right now.

That Dua Lipa song is still bopping. Me too. I play it nonstop. It still slaps, dude. Although we have a note. Not going to swear. Not going to judge you and your wit. Somebody else.

Long as you swear, you won't get pissed when I do it myself. Let's end it like we should and say we're good. I'm so tired. I'm sorry. Yeah, but I just don't like, no offense to Duo. I love you. Not that you listen to the podcast, but I don't really love the lyric, we're no good together like sleeping in cocaine.

I feel like you could have found a better simile. It's we're not meant to be like sleeping in cocaine. We're not meant to be like sleeping in cocaine. That's like, okay, first pass. That's what I was pitching wedding video ideas for them. It's like okay first pass let's say i was pitching pitching wedding i'd video ideas for them and say okay let's just throw some ideas out there i feel like idea one on the whiteboard was like okay sleeping and cocaine those don't go well together let's okay anybody have any other ideas and everyone was like no do it whatever you think is great and they're like okay it's in the song sleeping as we came well i will say this i will

say this that song is banging it's amazing i love this. I will say this. That song is banging. It's amazing. I love that song. If you love girl pop, that song is fire. Yeah. Do it. Yeah.

All right. We should probably end this. We're going to go. We love you all. What are our goodbye messages, Joelle? You can still watch the live show if you want up until Friday. Yes.

The link is in the show notes. What else? Please stop asking us about when the show family is going to air summer. We don't have an exact date. We don't know. I promise. We're going to let you know. Oh,

we're going to be bragging about it. Nonstop. You'll know forever and ever scrubs. I heart. If you want to ask questions, comments, whatever, hit us up.

That's about it. And Donald, do you start tomorrow? I've got a lot of work to do tomorrow, yeah. But are you shooting tomorrow? No, I don't shoot until next week. All right, well, tell me to break a leg. Break a leg, Zach.

Go get it. Make it happen. You know what I just overheard on the internet? And I don't know if this is even true. You guys can, you listeners can Google when we hang up. But the expression break a leg comes from when someone's auditioning, if they break a leg,

they'll be put into a cast. Oh! I want it to be true. I don't care if it's real or not, I want it to be true. Is that not mind-blowing? I've been an actor since I was 12 years old. I never heard that. I don't know if it's true. For all I know, it's a lie, but I love it.

And on that note, five, six, seven, eight. Stories about a show we made About a bunch of docs and nurses And a janitor who loved to hate I said here's a story That we all should know So gather round to hear our Gather round to hear our We'll see you next time. hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.

I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting. That's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your

inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. As important as choosing the right destination when traveling is choosing the right travel partner. Gene! Gene Fodor! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene!

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Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! to Espionage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist, and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app,

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