Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 603: My Coffee

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

In this week's episode, Kelso builds a coffee shop in the hospital, and Turk worries about providing for his new family. In the real world, we're trying out a new surprise segment! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi friends, I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.

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I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Beauty Translated Season 3 is coming soon with what? A second host? I'm Carmen Laurent, and this season I am joined full time by world-renowned Janie Danger.

Janie, what are we talking about in season three? We're talking about life, Carmen. Beauty Translated is about the many fragmented lives spreading across this rich tapestry of the trans experience. And the all-new Beauty Translated Loveline at 678-561-2785. Listen to Beauty Translated Season 3 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye.

Bye. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. So in this podcast, I'm going to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career. I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer, the ups and the downs, everything that I've learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride. So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. I just got my list of people that are approved to come to the Cheaper by the Dozen premiere.

And Donald Faison, Casey Cobb, and two children are on the list for the Cheaper by the Dozen premiere. Would you look at that? Are you going to dress them kids up? Can they be in like outfits? Do you want Air Force Ones? No, I know Wilder's going to come in some beautiful dress, but I was wondering if your son

could rock a three-piece and a bow tie. I mean, I'll ask him. I don't know if he's keen to rock a bow tie, but... He's not much of a style kid, is he? I mean, he's like a sports style i know he likes you know i mean whatever he puts on is his style you know some of these young kids they you know some of these young kids they get into style early obviously while they're a girl but i mean even

young boys no i'm saying even young boys uh is rocco a kid like that does he like does he like think about an outfit i mean he thinks about his sneakers like that. You know what I mean? So if he has a nice pair of sneakers, he'll rock them for a special game or, you know. He likes to keep his kids clean. Has he rocked mine yet or are they still too big? No, he's worn them already. They're a little big for him, but he tried, you know.

He tried to play in the Space Jams. I got him the Space Jams, but apparently they're... I could only get him a slightly too big in case he said that's fine because he's growing like crazy. Yeah, he's nuts. It's nuts, man. He's growing so fast. And he loves basketball right now, which is great

for me because I get to live out all my fantasies through my child, which is amazing. You're going to do the LeBron route and try and make him like Bronny? I mean, I don't know. Are you impressed that I know the name Bronny? I'm so confused right now. Like my brain is like, what the fuck just happened here?

Wait a second. How do you know about Le saw in the news i saw in the news that lebron announced he was not going to retire until he played at least one season with his son brawny and and that's how i know the name brawny that's a lot of pressure on that kid now that kid better make the league is he he must be good is he good oh he's he's fabulous the kid can ball he's placed for sierra canyon which is a school out here in california that's a high school number yeah they're like the number six or something school like that in the nation i'm not sure if lebron jr is a senior or or a junior but the kid can ball now. He's like 6'3", which is great, you know, and he's a legit 6'3". That's the other thing.

So a lot of people were 6'3", and they weren't really 6'3". He's a legit 6'3". You went and measured? I went and measured? No. It's just that, no. They're trying to get- Excuse me, LeBron.

I've brought my tape. Right. We have to make sure. But he, I mean, I've brought my tape. Right. We have to make sure. But he's dunking on kids already. We'll see. We'll see how it plays out. Anyway, back to my original point. Oh, wait, but one more thing before we move on basketball related.

DeMar DeRozan, I owe you an apology. I said you were in the twilight of your career when we had Shea Serrano on. You sure fucking did. Saying that you needed. Yeah, I sure fucking did. And I've never been more wrong in my life. DeMar DeRozan, you are straight up balling, yo. Balling on another level.

And I apologize. Who is DeMar DeRozan? I missed that. DeMar DeRozan played for the Toronto Raptors for the longest. He's a kid from California. And then he went to San Antonio where I guess they didn't use him correctly. I don't know what it is, but it looked like his career was over. You know, Kawhi Leonard went to Toronto and won a championship there. Kawhi Leonard also won a championship in San Antonio. And so it

looked like wherever DeMar was, it wasn't really popping for him. He wasn't, you know, at least from the outside. I was wrong because this boy is balling out of control right now. Not only he's an MVP candidate, he's an MVP candidate. He's definitely the most improved player of the year, but you can't say that because he's an MVP candidate now. He's got the Chicago Bulls on the verge of going deep in the playoffs. It's a crapshoot. Let's be honest. Milwaukee's for real.

Milwaukee's for real. Okay, I'm bored. I'm bored. Nobody cares about your boredness right now. It's so boring.'ll see what happens. Okay, I'm bored. I'm bored. Nobody cares about your boredness right now. It's so boring. DeMar DeRozan, I'm sorry. All right, DeMar DeRozan, we're sorry. Another basketball thing you'll be impressed that I know is a coach punched another coach in the face.

Jawan Howard punched a coach in the face, yes. Now, I'm assuming you're not allowed to do that. Is that correct? A punch to a coach in the face, yes. Now, I'm assuming you're not allowed to do that. Is that correct? I don't know any league where, other than fighting, where it's – no, not even in fighting, where a coach is allowed to punch another coach in the face. So what did they do to him?

He suspended, I assume. Yeah, he suspended for the season. Are they going to fire him? I hope not. He's a good coach? I mean, I'm going to be honest with you. There are some coaches out there, and you know who you are. You deserve to get punched in the face.

Not that this man did. Not that this man did. Did it come out what was said? I don't know. But there are some coaches out there. I'm just wondering when you're watching that show. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun- SportsCenter, the place for sports. That's a different song. When you're watching that, as you do daily, I believe, do they say what was said?

Sometimes. I don't know what was said. I would love to find out what was said because it would be great if it was something like, man, that's why your mama smell like shit. And then Jawad was like, fuck you! According to the Chicago Tribune, the altercation began in the post-game handshake line when Guard grabbed Howard by the arm in an attempt to explain why he called the timeout. Howard yelled, don't expletive touch me and put his right index finger in guard's face

as the two began to argue. That's not what happened. Then there was a scrum. Then there was a big scrum. And then he reached over. Which isn't really fair fighting, right, Donald? I don't know fighting rules, but you don't want to sneak attack

from around someone, right? I mean, look. Let's keep it 100. I mean, when's he going to get another chance to hit that dude, though? I don't know. Well, anyway, that's the extent of my sports knowledge this week. It was a bad day for sports when that happened. That was a bad look for Jawan Howard, and it was a bad look for Michigan.

I don't think anybody watched the Winter Olympics. I read that, too. That was just true. I mean, I don't want to say anything bad about anything. No, no. Nothing about the athletes. We know how hard they work, but just as a TV ratings thing, I read that nobody really watched it. There was a lot of controversy involved with this Olympics, you know?

Yes. A lot of it. And this time, the country hosting the Olympics didn't help, really, with... Yeah, because they caught a Russian... Am I correct? They caught a Russian gymnast... Dan, I feel like you're going to know this. They caught a Russian gymnast Dan I feel like you're going to know this They caught a Russian gymnast doping

And then they didn't eliminate her? Yeah she was an ice skater And the Chinese were in charge of deciding that? I believe so yeah I don't know that Or is the IOC The International Olympic Committee All I'm saying is China had held this Olympics And put everybody in a bubble, and nobody got to see outside of the bubble.

They could look out of the hotel and see people walking around in the street, but that was as far as they could get out of this bubble. Another doping scandal involved a horse, not in the Winter Games, but the horse that won, I believe the derby is dead. I don't know how this unfolded, but the horse that won the last derby, please double check my facts here. They found out, I don't know if it was postmortem or what, but that it in fact had been doped. And so they had to take the $2 million back from the winner and give it to the second place person. But it didn't affect anyone who won the bets because that would have been a debacle. But the weird thing is this very famous horse guy who's in charge and obviously knew about doping this horse, the fine is like 40 grand or something.

The guy's a zillionaire. Yeah. I mean, don't bet horses. I don't know. I just think that it's a shame that people cheat. I hate line cutters. You hate line cutters?

Yeah, you know when you're like in line in traffic, and then those people that skip and then they try and nudge in? You know on Laurel Canyon Boulevard up at the top by Mulholland, they cut everybody and then they try and edge in those people? I look at it as just aggressive driving. Oh, you're a line cutter. Are you a line cutter? When it comes to traffic, I think everybody on this conversation who has ever driven a you're a line cutter. Are you a line cutter? When it comes to traffic, I think everybody on this conversation

who has ever driven a car is a line cutter. No. You're on crack. Dude, you drive a very fast car. No, I never do. You drive a very, very fast car. There is no way that you wait. There are times when I will be like,

oh, fuck, that's my exit. And I'll wave to the person and be like, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you're all in line for that exit. Of course I've done that. But I'm talking about people who strategically speed up in the other lane and then try and get in. Did you drive when you lived in New York?

Did you drive when you lived in New York at all? New York doesn't count. New York's a free-for-all. I'm talking about normal places. When you come out to LA with that New York mentality, it really does get you far. I'm going to keep it 100 with you. If you've got that New York cab driver mentality. I used to drive a big truck around Manhattan.

I was crazy. These streets out here in California. If you bring that mentality to these streets, it's like Grand Theft Auto out this piece, man. You got the skills. It's like the Transformers movie. You got the touch. What about the people that do the chat and cut? You got the power.

When you're online as a human being, not with your car and people cut. Oh, well, that's fist fighting territory right there. Like keep it 100. If you got, look, you don't have any armor around you or anything. If you have the nerve to be like, yo, excuse me, and step in front of somebody. Did you ever see the thing? There was a Curb Your Enthusiasm called the chat and cut.

That's when you start, hey, Timmy. And then you step in line with Timmy. And then you're in line with Timmy. I'ma hook off on you, dog. Don't do that shit in front of me. Let's get into the show, everybody. 5, 6, 7, 8! Here's some stories about a show

we made about a bunch of doctors and nurses and a janitor who loved me. I said, here's some stories that you all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. What is going on in season six? This is a weird ass season.

I don't think it's found its footing. Well, I knew it was going to be a weird episode when JD knocked it out of the park in bed with his girlfriend. I knew right then and there. I think we've established that JD is good in bed.

He's a good lover? Yeah, I think. Look at the women. He's not the handsomest guy in the world. He must be doing, he's not the handsomest guy in the world. He must be doing well somehow. Look what he did to Elliot during the pizza episode. She couldn't move.

That is true. That is true. So it tracks then. JD knocking out of the park in bed with sex tracks. Right. Now, I just don't, i'm just finding a weird are you not feeling a weird joelle are you feeling a weirdness in season six season five is so hot it's weird that it's not uh translating so far but we do have some pretty iconic episodes coming up so

maybe it was just a slow start i didn't think this was one of those. I think this was weird. There's a lot of jokes in it that just didn't land is what it is. What's going on? Well, I laughed a few times and they were all Todd related. Yeah. Todd.

Yeah. Todd whispering like he's the ghost of boob. That's the funniest joke in the whole show. You just ruined it. That's Judy funniest joke in the whole show. You just ruined it. Judy's Todd. Where is Todd hiding under the bed? I don't know where he is. And she

thinks about formula and he goes formula's bad for the baby. Breast milk's healthier. He's hiding in the room. He's trying to see her titty. When Ted is slurping on his suckling, sucking his smoothie through a straw, and then Todd comes running in and says, I heard slurping.

I heard suckling. I heard suckling, yeah. I heard suckling. That shit had me rolling, too. Well, the movie, the show opens with us having good sex. And then Todd wants to- Wait, us? We did?

No, that would be a better episode. The show opens with Elizabeth Banks' character, Kim. And we established we have a good sex life, even though she's already pregnant. And we got pregnant with, as we established last week, with the penis never going into the vagina. The semen landed on the- Labia minora. Labia, not minora, labia majora. I want to remind anyone that I would like a labia minora for Hanukkah

if that's something that is made on Etsy. Coffee Bucks is introduced. Coffee Box. Now, it's funny. I think I remember Coffee Box was still being built. That's the reason why it wasn't introduced until – what episode is this? Three or something? Three.

Yeah. So I remember it was still under construction. It's finally done. Obviously, a Starbucks knockoff. A Starbucks and coffee being knocked off. I think Bill was obviously clearly looking for just a new set for stuff to go down and shake it up a little bit. Season six. From what I understood, he knew that Kelso would have to retire soon.

And he needed a place for Kelso to still be a part of the hospital. Oh, really? You think it was that far back in the thinking? I thought it was just like, hey, we need a new set for these people to hang out in. No, because we don't. I mean, we do hang out in it, but it really becomes Kelso's office at this point. After this season, when we want to establish anything with Kelso, it's at the coffee box. Were you happy?

This is a let's ask Bill question. He's too busy. He's too busy. He's down in Florida with Vince Vaughn. All right. But he's shooting his new show called Bad Monkey starring Vince Vaughn. Nice. Mick Head is on the back of the line.

Yeah. And because he's at the back of the line, it's so far back that it's in front of another coffee box. And he turns around and goes, oh, wow, another one. Well, I don't know if this is still the case, but at the height of the Starbucks insanity, you could literally, like if you were in Manhattan, you could stand on a corner and see like three of them. It was the stupidest thing. So I think this was sort of making fun of that. Were you excited when you saw Darth Vader? I didn't understand why Darth Vader was online, but he was there. Because there's no other reason to stand online usually other than a Star Wars movie.

Oh, is that why he said, did you get tickets? Yeah, I didn't understand the joke. When's the last time you stood online for anything? Like a movie. When's the last time you did that? It's been a long time. I don't stand on. I'm trying to think of when I stand online for things. You never stood online for a movie. When's the last time you did that? It's been a long time. I don't stand on... I'm trying to think of when I stand on line for things.

You never stood on a line for a movie. It's funny, we were just talking about line cutters. No, I wouldn't... Well, we live in LA here. Back in the day in New York, or Jersey. Oh, back in the day. Not really. No, not really.

No. Wow. But what other than a movie do you stand... there anything in the world other than, I know, Disney World? Food? Food. Conventions. I feel like we're on Family Feud again.

Yeah. Oh, Joelle Conventions. Are they going to do Comic-Con in person this year? They did it last year in person, so I'm sure they'll be back this year. Are you going to go? Why not go? It's too soon. I can't do big crowds right now.

It gives me so much anxiety. By the way, speaking of geeky, nerdy things, I'm sending you a book. Sideshow Collectibles. I love them. I love Sideshow Collectibles. They are so great to us, man. Yo, Sideshow, shout out Sideshow because they actually do. They say they'll send us stuff, and then they actually do send us stuff. gifts from sideshow collectibles but i do not need the books that take apart the

superhero figures and discuss them but i i got that book and i was like joelle is gonna which hero it's great it's it's great coffee no it's like a bunch of them it's like it's like you got you got it right it's like yeah it's a it's like a bunch of them. It's like... You got it, right? It's like... Yeah, it's an anthology of all of their action figures that they ever made. Oh! It's great coffee table stuff. It's great for the coffee table. Yeah, it's like a coffee table book, Joel.

You're going to love it. I promptly gave it to my assistant and said, give this to Joel. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations.

His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. You know, people give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose

with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox. You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it.

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wherever you get your podcasts. We have a whole give this to Joel Pyle. It's anything related to super geeky stuff that I'm not into. No, I mean, you know, you know, superhero world. You know, the kind of woman who's watching Clone Wars in the background

during the podcast, that kind of thing. So Cabbage is back, and he's doing an ape impression. I don't know where that came from. I guess maybe he showed Bill that he could do an ape impression. Yeah, which was out of left field. But hey, it was pretty good. You're going to hate me. I thought I hit record,

but I didn't. That's okay. We had the backup. Everybody, I'm sorry. I just fucked up. I thought I hit record on my personal recorder, but I didn't, so my audio will now instantly sound better. Donald, is yours rolling? Oh, always.

So you've never fucked up listen don't try and all of a sudden I'm trying to get some empathy from you I'm trying to get some motherfucking empathy from you stop deflecting turn the deflector shield down I swear to goodness I thought I hit record I'm so pissed at myself

I want to have a moment of silence for me being an idiot Zach was totally the emperor just now I want to have a moment of silence for me being an idiot. Zach was totally the emperor just now. I'm afraid the deflector shields will be quite operational when I fuck up my recording. I fucked up my recording. So I don't even know if the audience can tell that I sound better now, but they probably can. Dan, I hope it's noticeable because we put all this time into having these good mics and shit.

Oh, it'll be noticeable. Okay. Okay, so what the fuck? Kim is not getting promoted because she insulted the head of department's wife. After playing. We did. You guys played Heart and Soul on the piano.

And she played with her head. Yes. And it turns out that his wife recently had her thumbs bitten off by their...

By a Komodo dragon. That they own. Yeah. That's still there at the house party that we're at. They have a pet Komodo dragon.

Do you know what this is about, right? Just Bill wanting to see a weird animal. No, remember Sharon Stone had her husband almost lost a leg to a pet Komodo dragon that they owned or some shit like that. Joelle, look it up. To the Google, Joelle. I thought it was related to the fact that Bill just loved his ability to order wacky animals. Thank you, Joelle's face explains it all.

To the Google. Joelle, your eyes seem to imply that Don's right. It's real. I'm trying to get specifics so I can. To the Google. Do you remember in the TV show Batman when they would go to the Batcave and'd lift up Shakespeare's head and push the button and then the bookshelf would open? When I was a kid, I thought that was the coolest thing I'd ever seen, that the secret bookshelf would open when you press the button. And then you slide down.

Yeah. And then when you slid down, you were in your outfit. In your outfit. What the fuck happens on that pole? Wouldn't you love to see? That's a good question. Wouldn't you love to see like someone should do an animation of like what the fuck is happening it's like how is that going down is there a platform where they

pause and change with a locker and then finish this and then finish it okay joelle what happened they went to the LA zoo and got a private like celebrity tour and when he was in the Komodo dragon's cage it bit down on his foot and he lost his foot he's alright he's fine

does he have all toes apparently he was barefoot though at the time why did he get barefoot in a Komodo cage? I don't know. The zoo people said that they thought the lizard might have confused his foot for the white rats he eats. Oh, my God. I can't. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. I wonder if that's in her biography. All right. All right. All right. Cox wants a reach around with his coffee. Did you hear that? He says, can I get a reach around with my beverage? That's surprising to get a handjob joke into a network primetime show in 2006.

I was very shocked. The censor probably didn't know what it meant. I mean, everybody, Oz had already come out at this point. Everybody knew what a reach around is at this point. I guess if you're a censor, you need to study all the latest euphemisms. Yeah, you know what censor missed everything? The motherfucker that missed all skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet. From the window

to the wall. Missed the whole thing from the sweat drip down my balls. All skeet, skeet, skeet. That's the day. This is network television, right? This is NBC primetime. That shit made it on everything. It was on the Super Bowl.

Skeet, skeet, skeet. Alright. Let's not go into that. Skeet. Okay, calm down. Somebody needs to switch to decaf, and who are you and what have you done with Turk? We're making fun of the classic overused sitcom jokes. Yes.

Do you remember? Can you think of a good classic old sitcom joke who are you and what have you done with blank is like the most that's the that's the most tropey stereotypical one that and you know what you hear a lot wait what wait what that's a classic that's in everything everything everybody does it. Wait, what? Everybody. Yeah, I can't think of any off the top of my head, but these are definitely two very overused examples.

The brain trust took off their shoes. Yeah, to sneak up. So that they could sneak up on Kelso because they want dental. Yeah, because they want dental. Yeah, because they want dental. Now, this is really, the brain trust. Well, Troy's missing, obviously. I don't know why Troy's not around. But Margo's there.

Troy probably tried to renegotiate. Right, Troy was like, I need more money. Troy's like, if you want the full Troy, I'm going to need more money. It's season six. And Bill was like, it was nice meeting you, Troy. Oh, Troy. But Crazy Eyes Margo's back, and she's the only one who had a child, but she sold the child.

Which is never addressed again. And then they all mime taking out a tooth, except for Bobby, our dolly grip. If we remind you, that's Bobby, our dolly grip. If we remind you, that's Bobby Forster. Robert Forster's son. Right. Whose character truly pulls out a tooth. Yes.

What a weird fucking show. Yeah, dude. Yeah. They just want dental. Yeah. Rudy, did you really pull out your tooth It's like uh yeah Now Donald Back alley money

Now I didn't know this was I mean once it's explained in the show It of course makes sense that it's taboo But your concern Turk is concerned that Carla might not go back to work And so he instantly starts Trying to get that back alley money. Well, I mean, let's keep it 100.

Everybody hustles no matter what, you know what I mean? And in time of need, some people, you know, if it's not hurting anybody, some people feel like hustling on the other side of the law can sometimes be very lucrative. My question for Turk is what's he going to do with that money? Like he got to pay taxes. You know what I mean? At some point on it.

Not if it's in $20 increments. But he has to put it in the bank and stuff like that. How are you going to claim all of that stuff? Why is he going to put his $20 he got from the fucking guy into the bank? Oh, look at your new headphones. Dan, you came through. You like that? You like that? Are they nice? What brand are they? Oh, they're your new headphones. Dan, you came through. You like that? You like that?

Are they nice? What brand are they? Oh, they're the same brand. They're just the newer model. Sure. Oh, how? Daniel, you gave him the newer model? You know, he needed a full upgrade.

Do you want a full upgrade as well? Do you have the 440s? Because I have the 440s. I think you have the 440s. Donald, what do they say on the side? What number? Oh, they don't. They me double check for you. Donald, what do they say on the side? What number? Oh, they don't. They just say the Shores.

Oh. Because they're two. Right now, the Shore 440A. That's what I got. Oh, man. I'm going to need those, Daniel. Okay, I'll get some shit right over to you. So I'm just saying, like, you know, Turk is trying to put that money to good use.

And he's taken $20 here or $5 there from people. And he's been doing it for a minute ever since Carla said she doesn't think she'd ever go back to work. You know, I did laugh when we go to the Cotton Candy Man. And I have scruples about it. And I'm not sure. and I have scruples about it and I'm not sure, but he shows me his rash, which is disgusting because it's just not a very good-looking rash. It looks like it's bad.

And I say, it's probably just eczema. One blue, please. Yes. Well, how you start off, oh, wait, is that blue? Just put it in. Just put a fresh batch in. Which is so stupid because cotton candy doesn't have any – does cotton candy have any different taste depending on –

I've never tasted cotton candy that has had a different flavor. No, it tastes like whatever – It's just sugar. It's just sugar that's been spun up in that weird way, and then it has colors. Yes. Is that blue? Ooh, it smells like a fresh batch of blue. Just put it in.

I can smell it. You know, for somebody who thought this wasn't the best episode in the world, you laughed a lot, huh? Well, I'm laughing at recounting it with you because I love you, and you cheer me up and make me laugh. But I watched this being like, oh, season six, what are you?

Right. And Joelle's right. I think when you come off five, which I think might be the winner for best season of all, we'll determine that. We know nine's not. So we've got seven and eight and six,, and eight to see if anything beats five. But I don't know. Maybe I'm just judging it harshly. But also, you know, it's a rough start.

I'm going to be honest with you. This one had so many jokes in it. I thought some of them fell flat, but when we talk about them now, they're so funny. We established that Kelso really loves the muffins, and he samples them and then returns them. Yes. Doesn't American Express have that thing that you can do now? What do you mean? Sample a muffin?

American Express has something where you can buy something, and if you don't like it, you can return it and get your money back uh no matter what you buy or where you buy really daniel what's he talking about uh i do not know to the google i'm googling yep all i know is joel everything has a a lot of things have a return. But I always realized that no one who does that, like usually the putting it back in the box and dealing with returning it. It's such a pain. You have not met my wife. My wife buys so much stuff online. And oh, my God, I get so many emails from places. Your return has gone through like sheep.

This has no problem returning shit. Well, with clothes and women in clothes, especially. Oh, no, it doesn't have to be clothes. It could be a baby. See, Joelle? Am I wrong? Joelle's face did it again. Well, it could be like a baby's car seat. My wife would be like, you know what? We used it, but I'm going to return this shit.

See if it has a policy. I love it. American Express will let you, if you try to return an item within 90 days and the store doesn't take it back, American Express will refund you the full price up to $300 per item, excluding shipping and handling charges, and up to a maximum of $1,000 per card member account. Wow. So you can go buy some weed. This is not a sponsor.

You can go buy some weed. I don't mean to give Amex an ad, but that's a pretty dope policy. If you go buy some weed. No, I don't think weed applies, Donald. Okay. You could return them ashes and be like, I smoked it. Not returning the ashes. I smoked it and I didn't get as high as I thought I would.

That would be a funny hidden camera prank to go back to a weed shop with the ashes and be like, I didn't like this. I didn't like this. Wow. It didn't fulfill. This didn't work for me. Yeah, it didn't fulfill its promise. You said it had 31 grams of THC in it. I felt 25.

We're going to go to break. And when we come back, we're going to talk about how the janitor puts schnapps in his lattes. We'll be right back. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan, and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors,

earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. People give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people

the same exact set of seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends,

Courtney Cox. You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death.

He died of a brain tumor. It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty. Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair. That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out of a dead end. And many, many more. Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of Dancing with the Stars since the very beginning.

26 seasons of the samba, the rumba, and the cha-cha. 24 partners, six finals and two mirrorball trophies. She knows all the secrets, the behind the scenes arguments and the affairs, the flings, the flirting and the fighting. It's time to tell all on her new podcast, Sex, Lies and Spray Tans. We'll take you all the way back to season one and up through today for the dance floor drama like you wouldn't believe. Former partners, co-stars, friends, and frenemies will join Cheryl each week.

Listen to Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's Chelsea Handler, and if you listen to my podcast, Dear Chelsea, you know that i love making space for women to share their stories and that is why i'm excited to be part of women take the mic i heart radio celebration of women who make music influence change and create culture all

month long your favorite voices from talk radio music and podcasting will highlight the remarkable achievements made by women and discuss the most significant issues facing us today. Search Women Take the Mic to listen to a collection of International Women's Day episodes from iHeart's top podcasts, including Angela Yee's Lip Service, The Psychology of Your 20s, and Dear Chelsea. It is a great way to support women and discover your new favorite show. Listen to Women Take the Mic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! And we're back.

I got a funny idea for the end of the show. Joelle has just informed us that our guest had to bail. And I'm going to try and FaceTime. We'll play a game called FaceTime Someone Random from Scrubs. Hell yeah. And I'll put the mic up to my mic. Won't that be funny? I'll put the speaker up to my mic.

That'll be our game, Donald. Do you like that? No, I don't like that game at all. Why not? I'm not going to tell you who I'm FaceTiming random. It'll be a surprise. I don't want to game at all. Why not? I'm not going to tell you who I'm FaceTiming random. It'll be a surprise. I don't want to play that game. We're playing, so sorry.

They're not going to stay on long. They'll stay on for 30 seconds and say hi. I think the fans would like that. Fans, would you like that? Yes. No, fans, I want you to really speak to your device and say whether you'd like that. Oh, I heard an overwhelming yes, Joel

I heard don't do it You asking for it, but okay, here we go Hey, is that Is Ketcher, Kertcher from Full House Is that the same dude from Aladdin The one that played DJ's boyfriend I don't know the brother's name I have no idea what you're talking about

Okay, hold on The voice of Aladdin who was also DJ's boyfriend from Full House. Is it the same dude that's playing the kiss-ass doctor for the person who has the private practice? I don't believe so, but they do look similar. His name is Scott Weinger. I'm looking to see if he has a Scrubs credit. Why would that kid? His name is Scott Weinger. I'm looking to see if he has a Scrubs credit. Well, Donald, why did I? You're correct.

You are a thousand percent correct. Wow. He is absolutely right. Wow. He's the fuck out of me. I can show you. We should have had him sing. Shining.

Well, Brad Kane did the singing part. Oh, he was just the voice? He did the voice. did the did the singing part oh he was just the voice he did the voice brad kane did the singing i always think i know this because i went to high school with brad kane i always think that's weird you know it's funny it's less weird um with animation but back in the day in in the musicals somebody else would sing the the songs well zach efron in the musicals, somebody else would sing the songs. Well, Zac Efron in the first high school musical, that's not him singing. But he sings from afterwards. But that's not him in the first one. Nope.

You've just destroyed my high school reality. What is happening? I didn't know that either. Wow. Wow. He sings in two and three, but not in one. I think, actually, in your favorite movie, Encanto, I think there's some people that are the voice, but not in one. I think, actually in your favorite movie, Encanto, I think there's some people

that are the voice, but not the singer. Man, Encanto, my man, I got to tell you something right now. I know, you sing,

we don't talk about Bruno all day long. It is fire, dude. Like, it just is, oh my, it was my wedding, it was our wedding day.

We were getting married And there wasn't a cloud in the No clouds allowed in the sky Lin-Manuel is going to be the first person To double EGOT Right, I agree with you I agree with you I'm putting it out there

Everyone thought after Hamilton Wow, holy shit, Lin-Manuel He crushed it What an achievement let's move on to the next topic and Lin-Manuel was like no I'm just getting started yeah this is the beginning like dude for real man

he could like if you were to put odds on it I think he has the best odds to double EGOT right now yeah I think he'll be the first person to double EGOT Joel write that down on your whiteboard noted I mean like who else can come close to that who else can get the Grammy the first person to double E got, Joelle. Write that down on your whiteboard. Noted. I mean, who else can come close to that?

Who else can get the Grammy, the Tony, the Emmy, and the Oscar? Anne Hathaway, if she really puts her mind to it. She got to do a lot more work. She got to do a lot more work. She got to do a lot more. She was starting all the work. Lin-Manuel can do it all. Lin-Manuel can win three in one shot, you know what I mean, from one show. That's the thing.

He could do the Hamilton, whatever the play is. No, but Lin-Manuel has more access because he's a writer. So he could get some of those awards for his writing and his songwriting. Right, but his projects could win like three in a row. Like, like if he does a movie, the movie could win, the soundtrack could win.

And, you know, uh, uh, and then the adaptation for, I don't know if they do that for TV, but like, you know,

the making of it could win for television. Like he's so fucking talented. It's ridiculous, dude. Two of the best things I saw this year, which were tick, tick, boom, which he directed and in cancer, dude. Two of the best things I saw this year, which were Tick, Tick, Boom, which he directed, and Encanto, which he wrote all the music.

I mean, what a fucking year this guy has had. Dude, I go through waves, too. I'm like, I love him. Then I'm like, I hate him. Then I'm like, I love him. Then I'm like, there's too much of him. Then I'm like, it's back. That's the thing about when someone's on fire for so long, you start to be like, oh God, enough interviews.

But then you're like, fucking hell. You can't deny the talent. He's just a fucking genius. Yes, he's amazing. Now, I read an article, because I know you were very impassioned about why they didn't submit to the Oscars as their choice. We don't talk about Bruno.

What was the article? The article said that they had to choose long before We Don't Talk About Bruno became like the number one song in the country. And so they chose, and because that was specifically about a character, they chose a song that was about the whole family. And I think they chose that song that tells the story of the family, I believe. It just says something about how good of a song it is when it's not about, you know, love.

It's not about heartache. It's not about, you know, losing someone. It's about some weird dude named Bruno that the family can't talk about. You don't even care about the, you know what I mean? They're talking about a wedding. They're talking about this seven-foot dude that has rats on his back. They're talking about this dude, this one girl.

He's a prophet also. You're not really so much into the lyrics. You're into the melody. The lyrics are dope, too. That's what I'm trying to say. It's just a well, you know, if you were an architect and you had to create a song and you had to build a song, it's just well made. Like everything fits from the beginning to the end. Every line fits.

It's just well done. Well done. All right. All right. Let's move on. Back to Scrubs. Smocaccino for Kyle. The janitor quits.

The whole brain trust quits and gets jobs at- At the coffee box. At coffee box because they learned that coffee box has dental, but the hospital doesn't. So they want their dental really badly. Here's a crazy thing. Kareem Bailey Ray. Yes. Yeah.

Do you remember Kareem Bailey? i don't put your records it's been so long that that now is remade that's how long it's been since that song was out there's a newer version of it that slaps even harder than the original version it slaps let harder than the original version. It slaps. Let me go to Urban Dictionary. Donald, that's in reference to how Starbucks used to put out, for those of you who are young, I don't know if they still do this anymore, but they used to put out CDs. They still do that?

They still have soundtracks, yes. Okay. I don't go to Starbucks, so I don't know. You don't go to Starbucks? I would choose any other coffee chain. I just don't like Starbucks. And here in New York and L.A., we have something called Blue Bottle, which is the best, I think. I'm going to tell you something right now.

Very good coffee. I like Starbucks so much now that i used to hate it because i was it's charbucks they burn their coffee yeah it tastes burnt to me you come to acquire that taste no i never liked it i never liked i never liked it feels so corporate and it feels so um the the energy of people in there it feels like like an assembly line, like human, move forward, get your drug. I just like the whole vibe I don't like. If there's a blue bottle in your area, check it out. It's really good.

They're not a sponsor. I just love it. I'm telling you, it's good shit. So Doug has no ethics whatsoever. None whatsoever. Not only does he steal a guy's money, he steals his shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No ethics whatsoever.

Now, Scrubs Wiki pointed out that if that larger gentleman had been shot, there would be blood somewhere on the shirt. Right. But there isn't. No, there's not. And that would make Doug even more. And by the way, we have no compassion that he gets shot. None. You're just happy that you're not caught.

You didn't get caught out there. We make some joke about the corn dog guy and how they always had beef. And it must have been him that shot him. But we really move on from his bloody demise pretty quickly. Yeah. I laughed at the janitor's muffin puppet. First of all, I was glad that it was a puppet because I was like, if this muffin is...

So was I. I was like, if this... Yeah, thank you. Because now Kelso's having fantasies of a talking muffin. I was like, oh no, what the fuck is happening here? He did a good job, though. I mean, not only did the janitor get a job

and then become the manager right away, what the fuck is happening here. He did a good job, though. I mean, not only did the janitor get a job, like, and then become the manager right away, but he's also drilling holes in the case in order to operate muffin puppets. I mean, he really... So the kid, the little boy, takes the Smocaccino, which is the janitor's invention, because it's the most addictive thing thing because it's tobacco and coffee. That kid's never going to grow.

He says that kid's never going to grow. Now, Donald, this is something that really upset me. You hooked up with JD's college girlfriend and you said you were only naked under the covers because you guys had a water balloon fight and you were cold and you looked everywhere and that's that was a funny i'm like everywhere i just couldn't find those balloons the great part was the callback was yeah after all of that all of the talk that we go through and you're like is there anything else that you want no but jd trusts turk so much that he believes such a ridiculous story that he goes looking for the balloons yeah still he's still like he's still there's still that little bit of doubt that well maybe there

are balloons but no wait was this was this something that we filmed because there wasn't thing where you were in bed with my girlfriend but was it but do you remember like remember that episode where we did we both had different versions of us of us of how it went down and then i was doing your voice and you were doing my voice do you remember that has that aired yet i don't remember this you do no i don't that's that's hilarious imagine we've already covered it i have no imagine we've covered it. I have no idea. Imagine we've covered it already. I have no idea. The fans listening probably know.

But there's a – I think it was earlier, but there's a flashback, and I catch you in bed with one of my girlfriends, and I do – and I'm telling my version. It's like a Rashomon thing where I'm telling my version of the story and doing your voice. And you're like, that's not how it went down. And then you tell your version of the story and you're doing my voice and this nerdy voice.

I don't remember this. Maybe it's this season. I don't know. But anyway, it sounds a lot like this water balloon incident. Now, finally, the janitor gets his dental. Why did everyone leave their coffee cups all over the parking lot? I didn't understand.

That was really. Because nobody was cleaning up. I know, but I mean, it was pretty extreme. It's as though every single person that worked or visited the hospital threw their coffee cup in the parking lot. Yeah. Not a single person used the trash. There were thousands of cups. The trash cans were overflown.

Yes. So I'm kind of into Kim. JD's finally into somebody. That's when I knew. Right when that happened, I was like, oh, this ain't going to happen. It can't happen. It can't happen. Ladies and gentlemen, that is a tall tale sign in television when the relationship is about to end.

When the main character says, this is the relationship I want. Guess what? That relationship is about to end. Yeah. In every show. Name it. That's how it goes. All right. We're going to come right back.

And after this break, we're going to try a quick round of a FaceTime roulette because we lost our guest and we're sorry, everybody. But we're going to play a Scrubs FaceTime roulette and see who we get. We'll be right back. Hey, my name is Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant,

which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up.

You're going to love listening to it and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. You know, people give up right before they get

what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions.

I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.

You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's gonna catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death. He died of a brain tumor.

It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty. Old rock icon, Liz Phair. That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out of a dead end. And many, many more. Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of Dancing with the Stars since the very beginning. Thank you. the scenes arguments and the affairs, the flings, the flirting and the fighting. It's time to tell all on her new podcast, Sex, Lies and Spray Tans. We'll take you all the way back to season one and up through today for the dance floor drama like you wouldn't believe. Former partners, co-stars, friends and frenemies will join Cheryl each week. Listen to Sex, Lies and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

It's Chelsea Handler. And if you listen to my podcast, Dear Chelsea, you know that I love making space for women to share their stories. And that is why I'm excited to be part of Women Take the Mic, iHeartRadio's celebration of women who make music, influence change, and create culture. All month long, your favorite voices from talk radio, music, and podcasting will highlight the remarkable achievements made by women and discuss the most significant issues facing us today. Search Women Take the Mic to listen to a collection of International Women's Day episodes

from iHeart's top podcasts, including Angela Yee's Lip Service, The Psychology of Your 20s, and Dear Chelsea. It is a great way to support women and discover your new favorite show. Listen to Women Take the Mic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! And we're back! we're back all right this may be a total embarrassing failure but let's try right why not here we go see let's see what happens they don't like us it is the middle of the day. They may be working. I always answer FaceTimes from close friends. What the fuck? There he is. Sir, are you willing to be the very first contestant on FaceTime Roulette on the podcast?

Yes, right now. Yes, you're on right now. I'm here at the Compass office in Santa Monica, California. Okay. Talking real estate. We're doing big deals. Do you have a client right now? No, I have an associate with me. Okay.

Let's see your associate. You can show her. I can't see anything. You're on the podcast. I'd like to see the associate. Hi, associate. Hi, Jenny. Hi, podcast. What's up? can show her i can't see anything you're on the podcast i'd like to see the associate hi associate hi jenny what's up rob we're trying an exercise because we lost our guest in in okay and and and so i told our fans our listeners we're going to try a new exercise called facetime roulette and

you and you won i won do you have anything anything? We're laughing in the episode that we just watched. You were very infatuated with Judy newly breastfeeding. Oh, yes. And you were hidden underneath the bed as she was breastfeeding, and she was considering formula. And you said, don't switch to formula. I said, formula's bad for the baby milk is better

that's the same episode where I think I heard how do you remember that we did nine years of these they're all punchlines that's why I remember the punchline you guys do the scene and I come in and do all punchlines. That's why I remember the punchline. You guys do the scene, and I come in and do the punchline, so that's why I remember it.

No, Rob, we had a couple punchlines, Rob. Rob, I think it's safe to say that we had a handful of punchlines, but you do. You had a lot of punchlines. Sorry. Are you selling lots of houses? How's it going? The real estate market is on fire right now.

You can't get a house. Yeah, it's a great place to live, Santa Monica. If anybody's looking for a home, call me because I'm very hooked in right now, Jenny and I, and we're doing big deals as we speak. Okay, well, just look up Rob Macchio with a compass. Do you work out of Compass? No, I don't at the moment. It's MacchioRealEstate.com. There you go.

There's your shout out. But Rob, I do want to tell you this real estate market is out of control. I don't know if it's the whole country or is it just California? I don't think it's the whole country. I think it's desirable places to live. And west of the 405 here in Los Angeles, it's really nice, right? The sun is out. It's beautiful. It's not just west of the four or five here in Los Angeles. It's really nice, right? It's the sun is out. It's beautiful.

It's not just west of the four or five. I'm looking for my parents who are moving down and I'm trying to help them find a place. And you can't find anything in Encino. You can't find anything in look, Encino. Sherman Oaks. You're talking over Donald.

Cause you can't hear him, but he's saying, no, well, you can't hear him. This was all spontaneous, but Donald is saying Sherman Oaks You're talking over Donald because you can't hear him But he's saying This is all spontaneous But Donald is saying Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Valley Village Encino Everything is going so much Over the asking price I know this isn't interesting to our audience, I'm sorry But they might be looking to buy in California

Tell Donald I say hello And I miss him and I miss you too and i want to play basketball with donald i will never play basketball i can't play anymore but he can play tennis and golf are you interested in either of those no okay all right rob thank you for being on facetime roulette we love you do anything anything you want to say to the fans uh the todd's prescription for everything ladies and gentlemen, is always less moaning, more boning. Okay, aren't you in a workplace right now?

Okay. I want nothing to do with this. I apologize to the Compass Real Estate Company. Robby's saying that in the middle of an office. Did he say less money, more bony? Less moaning, more boning? More boning. I don't know what he said, but that still works.

Oh, that was great. Okay. All right. We love you guys. And we'll be back next time with another fun episode of Season 6. Donald, count us out. Five, six, ten. Hey! show we made about a bunch of doctors and nurses and a janitor

who loved to hate. I said, here's a story that we all should know. So gather round to hear our,

gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch show with Zach and Donald. Mm-hmm. Hi, friends.

I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, Mm-hmm. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small, we'll talk through it together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Beauty Translated Season 3 is coming soon with what? A second host? I'm Carmen Laurent, and this season I am joined full-time by world-renowned Janie Danger.

Janie, what are we talking about in season three? We're talking about life, Carmen. Beauty Translated is about the many frag8-561-2785. Listen to Beauty Translated Season 3 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. So in this podcast, I'm going to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career.

I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer, the ups and the downs, everything that I've learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride. So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.