Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 607: His Story IV

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

On this week's episode, Dr. Kelso learns how his presence impacts the hospital and Scrubs gets political. In the real world, it's Zach's BIRTHDAY!  https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-haedyn-fight-le...ukemiaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi friends, I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
Starting point is 00:00:17 We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small, we'll talk through it together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:00:38 As important as choosing the right destination when traveling is choosing the right travel partner. Gene! Gene Fodor! Gene, we'll go there. The CIA really needs your help, Gene. Freeze, Americano! Gene, run! Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I used to have so many men.
Starting point is 00:01:10 How this beguiling woman in her 50s. She looked like a million bucks. Scams a bunch of famous athletes out of untold fortunes. Nearly $10 million was all gone. It's just unbelievable. Hide your money in your old rich man, because she is on the prowl. Listen to Queen of the Con, season five, The Athlete Whisperer, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:01:38 I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. The morning day has passed.
Starting point is 00:02:23 He surprised me last night. I'm saying all this today. He surprised you how? What happened? Well, I can't fit a word in edgewise, as my grandmother would say. I'm singing this that way. I had a really, I was not expecting. Did you wake up and take a bath?
Starting point is 00:02:40 Oh, my God. I wasn't expecting. Did you have a great laugh? I got to get organized now I had so much to talk about When you drive I hope you don't crash Happy birthday Zach Braff Happy birthday to ya
Starting point is 00:02:56 Happy birthday to ya Happy birthday Happy birthday What? You didn't like that? It was about 30 minutes too long. Listen, I was all excited. I had all my papers and my buttons ready. And then I had a computer problem.
Starting point is 00:03:14 So I'm apologizing. Amanda Klutz, my best buddy, took me to a Paul Simon tribute concert last night. That's going to air. The Grammys honored Paul Simon, and they threw this thing where performers of all different levels of notoriety performed up to Stevie Wonder as the grand finale. But Dave Matthews, I mean, it was incredible.
Starting point is 00:03:40 It's going to air on CBS. And then Paul Simon got up at the end and played, and it was incredible it's going to air on cbs um but and then paul simon got up at the end and played and it was amazing but before that she she goes um first we're going to dinner and we're going to go to dinner at the sushi place it's across the street from the theater actually she didn't even tell me that she goes i'm taking you to dinner so we go to katsuya which is right across from the pantages and i go oh we're it was like the first surprise like oh we're getting sushi cool cool cool we walk in and you know this restaurant has these um these little room little the Pantages. And I go, Oh, I was like the first surprise. Like, Oh, we're getting sushi. Cool. Cool. Cool. We walk in and you know,
Starting point is 00:04:06 this restaurant has these, um, these little room, little hidden rooms with tables where the curtains can be closed. So you can have like a private, truly private dinner. Go on. And as I walk in,
Starting point is 00:04:16 it was like out of an, it was like out of Annie, the, you know, in the Annie movie, how the staff is all lined up, welcoming Annie. No need to pick up any toys.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Yes, it was a bit like that. And they spread a curtain to reveal Donald and Casey already seated at the table. I think I'm going to like it here. And then we saw the show. And then did you know what the grand finale surprise was donald before did i tell you i told or do you know or do you know i knew already i knew that well amanda knows i'm obsessed with ben platt um as a singer performer and uh we got to talk about that memoriam at the grammys because that was just unbelievable and um but anyway after the show
Starting point is 00:05:04 she said we have one final thing. And we went to get a drink. And then we went to this bar. And our mutual friend, Catherine Gallagher, who's a Broadway star, and Ben Platt were there waiting for us for a drink. What? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. You have good friends.
Starting point is 00:05:21 She crushed it, dude. She crushed it. She crushed it. That's a birthday She went all out I went from Donald Faison to Stevie Wonder to Ben Platt Well who else sang at the Paul Simon thing Other than Stevie Wonder Lots of country stars
Starting point is 00:05:37 Who are super famous Whose names I don't know I apologize to country fans But like the biggest country star You could probably google it I apologize to country fans. But like the biggest country star. George Brooks sang. You could probably Google it. Joel, will you look it up? And some of these names are.
Starting point is 00:05:55 Do you know this Take Six, this African-American? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Zach? What? Are you fucking kidding me right now? Are you really asking me if I know who Take Six is? All right, well, I'm telling you, Take Six sang. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are you really asking me if I know who Take Six is? All right, well, I'm telling you, Take Six sang. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are you really asking me if I know who Take Six is?
Starting point is 00:06:07 All right. Well, I didn't know that Take Six was that famous. They sang some Paul Simon stuff, and it was one of the most beautiful things I ever heard in my life. They sang from the Graceland album. They sang that. I'm fucking just asking. If I ever heard of Take Six. Sorry, calm down.
Starting point is 00:06:22 You know that Zulu song that's in Graceland? It's like, I don't even want to try. Anyway, there's a Zulu song that's on the Graceland album that starts one of the songs. And these guys crushed it. It was the most beautiful, goose bumpy thing you'll see. I'm giving these people an ad. You have to watch this.
Starting point is 00:06:42 It was so beautiful. I wanted to see take six sing every pulse well you can go back to when we were in like the 90s and everything like that and take were they a boy band or were they no they were they were an acapella group a gospel acapella group gospel acapella group brian mcknight's brother is in take six brian mcknight then became a very uh he's a big time R&B singer. You might have heard of him. He has some of the greatest songs.
Starting point is 00:07:08 My last cry, one last cry before I leave. Anyway, Take Six used to sing back in the day. Take Six has been around forever. Take Six was amazing. Chris Stapleton was there. Stevie Wonder did a couple songs With There was a young lady
Starting point is 00:07:29 I wish I could Joel if you can find this Mickey Guiton No Maybe it's not published I gotta ask Amanda If you know this I'll text her right now
Starting point is 00:07:39 Who's the young lady that sings But it was right On Time Cause she performed at that thing too But anyway let's talk for a second About the Grammys memoriam that sings, but it was right on time. Because she performed at that thing too. But anyway, let's talk for a second about the Grammys memoriam. Did you guys see this?
Starting point is 00:07:51 I did. That was amazing. You did not watch the Grammys. There was a memorial. So I'll let Zach tell the story, but I feel like every year, that's the thing that they, you know, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but you always want to do a great dedication to the people who passed away. And they really figured it out this year at the Grammys. They had four Broadway stars. I guess Rachel's.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Well, not just Broadway stars, like just triple threats. Also dancers, actors. No, but I'm saying. so oh brandy carlisle brad yeah brandy carlisle that's what i was gonna say i'm saying they were at the they performed last night i know that's what i was gonna say brandy carlisle was at the paul simon thing and brad paisley did a couple songs garth brooks um brandy carlisle is the one that sings right what's on brooks's uh wife or or girlfriend's name She's a famous country singer She performed with him
Starting point is 00:08:47 I apologize to the country loving community I don't know this music at all But they sang beautifully Did Kane Brown perform with them? Trisha Yearwood? Trisha Yearwood, yes Excuse me, she could sing They both were beautiful
Starting point is 00:09:04 It was amazing Garth is amazing too Because it was amazing and you know what's funny is they would garth is amazing because it was taped they would occasionally all fuck up and garth brooks stops and he goes what did i tell you baby i told you if we just stop singing if we mess up they can't use it so we're gonna start over that's really funny and um and and then other then then he was the first person to do that like on his own. But then other times someone would perform and be amazing. It would be like Stevie Wonder doing a number with this singer whose name I'm getting Amanda to text me because I didn't know who she is.
Starting point is 00:09:36 But she had the most incredible voice. And then they'd be like, hey, want to go again? And Stevie's like, yeah, I hit a wrong note or something. And then you'd get to hear the song again. It was like take two it was so cool um but take six believe it or not with all these celebrities take six was the blew my mind the most that's awesome take six is i'm so happy that you are have been introduced to take six you can go listen to some take six you can find them on itunes i'm sure anyway so the grammys did a memoriam, and the idea, it was a sort of Sondheim mashup.
Starting point is 00:10:09 I learned through Ben Platt, who was one of the four people. It was him, Cynthia Erivo, and Rachel Zegler, the star of West Side Story. Maria, who I believe is the new Snow White shooting right now. That's cool. Anyway, the four of them have preposterous voices. I learned that Leslie Odom Jr.'s arranger is the one who arranged it. And it was sort of this mashup of three famous Sondheim songs,
Starting point is 00:10:38 but it was so beautifully interwoven. Right, Donald? Oh, I agree 100%. I was like crying my eyes out. And if you saw West Side Story, you saw that Spielberg changed it up and There's a Place for Us, which is one of the most famous,
Starting point is 00:10:54 beautiful love songs, duets in the movie, was not sung by the couple. And that was his choice. And it was beautiful still, but you never got to hear uh rachel sing it and in this sort of beautiful memoriam she sang it with leslie odom jr and man was it beautiful so you can probably find it on the youtubes i highly recommend it but cynthia revo singing send in the clown send in the clown I mean Cynthia Revo that's the sickest voice in the world come on you know that you do a color purple movie do you know that when we when Nick died um I don't
Starting point is 00:11:32 know if I told you the story but we had a little memorial in in my garden very small and Nick loved Cynthia Revo loved the color purple which is what broke her and made her famous the musical version and which I know they're now making into a movie, which I'm sure she'll star in because she's – I just hope they put Quincy Jones' sister. Of course they will. You've been on my mind. That's not on the Broadway show, but okay, go on.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Okay. Anyway, Amanda reached out to her because Nick loved her so much, and she came and sang her song from Color Purple in my garden with like 20 people. And I remember because the garden was in full bloom and she was like, we were all picking cherry tomatoes off the vine. And she's just the kind of sweetheart, amazing person that would do that without even really knowing Nick, without even really knowing Amanda. And now I know her a little bit, and she's just an angel.
Starting point is 00:12:26 And her voice is the sickest. Yeah, man. The sickest. And Leslie's voice, oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. All of them. So I'm telling you, if you haven't seen that, go find it on the YouTubes. It was beautiful.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Should we get into the show, Zach? Wait, no, I have more to say. Okay, let's get into the show. No, no, no. If you got more to say, you got more to say. I want to give a movie recommendation. And now Donald's not going to love this movie because it doesn't have um lasers but um no one no one throws a spell um it's cast it's cast cast no one casts i was talking to my nephew
Starting point is 00:13:00 by the way daniel is it all right if I give Henry your number, my nephew? Of course. Because he asked, he's so into this fucking, what is it? Elden range? Elden? Oh, Elden ring.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Oh yeah. He's playing Elden ring. Yes. And he says, I have no one to talk about it with. Do you think that Daniel would mind if I, if I had his number? Can I ask a question?
Starting point is 00:13:22 Let's get a text chat going. Is Elden ring. All worth the hype? ...similar to Zelda? No. I would say it's similar to Zelda if Zelda was, like, really evil. If Zelda was super dark, the world of Zelda was super dark,
Starting point is 00:13:37 and all the enemies were way scarier, then it's like Zelda. Are you walking around... Is it overhead like Zelda? It is a third-person adventure game where you're walking around an open world. And it's really hard, apparently, right? Really, really hard. He said he tried to beat a boss
Starting point is 00:13:52 65 times or something, and that sounds about right. Do you get more? Do you gain EP and get weapons? Is that what happens, or is it just this is going to be the game for the whole game? A little bit. This is a longer conversation
Starting point is 00:14:07 I know I was trying to keep it short But it's a very popular game right now Super popular Probably game of the year for 2022 Game of the year There's another game that I think Donald would really like That people are talking about Lego Star Wars
Starting point is 00:14:21 Do you like that? I love it. I hear it looks amazing. I own it. I haven't had the chance to play it yet. Dan? Find some time, because it is incredible. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:14:35 What makes it different than the other Lego games, Dan? I think more than anything, it really maintains the humor and the style of all the other Lego Lego series of games. They have a great job of like keeping the source material accurate, but also adding a really nice sense of humor that you see in like the Lego movies and whatnot that makes it really fun and enjoyable. It's the smoothest gameplay. It's the best looking graphics. It's just like a nice upgrade to the whole Lego series.
Starting point is 00:15:01 And like for anybody who's played any of the Lego Star Wars games, it maintains that character and delivers 100%. Oh, wow. That's a really good review. So those are the two hot games of the moment. Is that right, Daniel? Mm-hmm. Now, will you be twitching either one of those? Do you twitch Elden Ring?
Starting point is 00:15:15 I do twitch Elden Ring. And I get very mad at it because it's very difficult. I saw that Sasha Gray. Can you dumb it down? Can you turn it down a little bit? Oh, that sucks. There's no difficulty scaling. I saw that Sasha Gray twitches it. Can you dumb it down? Can you turn it down a little bit? There's no difficulty scaling.
Starting point is 00:15:26 I saw that Sasha Gray twitches it. So you have some competition there. I bet a lot of people would rather watch Sasha Gray play, no offense. They most certainly would. No, she's very good. She's very, very good. Is she a good player or just people love her because she's good?
Starting point is 00:15:42 She's a good player. She's a real good player. And she's a good cook, too. Oh, she also cooks. Yeah, her stream is top shelf. Top tier. You might not want to tell people how often you watch her. Alright, let's get in the show. 5, 6, 7, 8. Some stories about a show
Starting point is 00:15:57 we made about a bunch of doctors and nurses and a janitor who loved me. I said he's got stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. All right, let's get to the show. I know what I wanted to say before.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Last thing before we get into the show. Your movie, your movies. Not my movie. This movie that I that i really really liked i highly recommend it won best foreign film i believe um i finally saw it um the worst person in the world oh okay i highly recommend you watch this if you like reading no it does have subtitles but come on you all loved um you all loved um squid game i don't watch squid game they had to read oh i really watch squid game i think no man you had to read okay well if you can handle subtitles uh if you like squid game if you liked uh parasite what was that that popular koreanite. Did you have to read? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:05 I didn't like it. Okay. Well, if you're unlike Donald and can handle some subtitles, I think The Worst Person in the World is one of the best movies I've seen in a very long time. I like to read. And if you like similar movies like I like, I guarantee you'll love it. There's some
Starting point is 00:17:21 incredible acting. I like to read. I've seen Akira several times. Okay. Is there reading in Akira? Yeah, a'll love it. There's some incredible acting. I like to read. I've seen Akira several times. Okay. Is there reading in Akira? Yeah, a lot of it. Okay. By the way, I want to debut a new sound effect that we have. No!
Starting point is 00:17:35 No. Yes. This is straight hot off the presses. Daniel, I need your help in figuring out how to get this into my system. No problem. But for now, here's a test. Everybody likes a little ass play. Don't even act like you don't.
Starting point is 00:17:51 You know it. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's how we're going to introduce guests from now on. By the way, do you look at the email? This guy, Donald and I did a charity. Jake Tapper does this amazing charity. This is what I was going to tell you guys about, but I let him.
Starting point is 00:18:11 I'll just set it up and then Donald. No, no, no, no, no. You tell the whole story because it's worth it. Jake Tapper, the news anchor on CNN, does this amazing charity where he raises money for Wounded Warriors and auctions off anything and everything from celebrities, including a half hour Zoom. So we auctioned off a half hour for Wounded Warriors of just shooting the shit with Donald and I. And this guy was very interesting and he's very smart and he's a developer up in Seattle. And he was talking about all the dating apps. And he had done a lot of research in determining whether he was getting less results because of the color of his skin.
Starting point is 00:18:55 And so to try and do an experiment, and he knew a lot of game developers, and he knew a lot of people. To do an experiment, he asked his video game developer friends to make himself white. Wow. Like reverse soul man. Yeah, like reverse soul man. And then his plan, I'm going to show you guys. I'm going to hold up my phone so you can see the picture. His plan was to just kind of do an experiment and see if he got better results as a white male.
Starting point is 00:19:38 But then the results came back in and he said his friends needed to go back to the drawing board. Oh, no. He made an ugly white male, he said. Oh, no. He was not a handsome white male he said he said he was way handsomer as a brown man and his video game developer friends didn't really nail it
Starting point is 00:19:57 I'm trying to he's bald guys so automatically like black men can usually pull off bald or close shaves much better uh the thing it doesn't feel right it was just funny and then donald and i came up with a whole movie idea where it's like what was it i'm trying to we took his whole thing we were like i'm newly single and in the dating world yeah i'm having a hard time getting dates right it's a little bit like tootsie it's a little bit of Tootsie. It's a little bit of like, fold a little Tootsie in where,
Starting point is 00:20:26 so, you know, because remember in Tootsie, he had a makeup artist, a genius prosthetic makeup artist friend. Right. So this guy's got video game developer friends, right? And he realizes that he's not getting the hits he wants. So he tries this experiment,
Starting point is 00:20:40 but then he meets a woman who thinks he's this white guy. And how- But it's like in the metaverse, because this that's what this guy did he did like uh well yeah then then then donald added the pitch that we're giving the best pitch away don't you fucking steal our movie idea right but anyway yeah then donald folded in the idea of the metaverse and i don't know we got really excited for a second that we had a genius movie idea. I'm really excited for you. It's like Face Off meets... I want to take his face. It's like Reverse Soul Man.
Starting point is 00:21:11 But I don't think... Reverse Soul Man is the best way to say it. Donald and I were talking about how incredibly fucked up the movie Soul Man is. Do you guys remember that movie, Joelle? Do you remember Soul Man? I saw Soulman a very long time ago, and I don't
Starting point is 00:21:28 really remember it. Well, in the movie the white guy, who was it, Donald? I think it's the dude from fucking E.T. to one that's like, we made it! And Red Dawn. What was his name? C. Thomas Howell. Yeah, C. Thomas Howell. C. Thomas Howell wants to get into college, but they have affirmative action, and
Starting point is 00:21:44 he can't get in. So he takes tanning pills, believe it or not. Tanning pills that turn him into a black man. Google image. The black face is horrifying. If you're listening right now, I need you to Google C. Thomas Howell, soul man, black face. And they made a whole movie. What year was it, Joelle?
Starting point is 00:22:05 I can't believe it. Oh, my God. The 80s. It's the 80s. It's so cringy. It's so cringy. It's the 80s for sure. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Well past when they should have known better. It was totally acceptable. And he passes. Yeah, man. He passes as a black man. I remember it being on HBO and all of that shit. I remember all of this. I remember soul man.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Ray Don Chong, I men. Ray Don Chong. I remember. Ray Don Chong was in it. And she falls in love with him until she realizes that he's taking tanning pills and isn't really an African-American. Oh, my God. The great James Earl Jones and Leslie Nielsen are in this movie. How did this happen? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:41 I don't know. All right, let's get into the show, shall we? I just have to tell you, this episode was crazy. This was like Bill trying to be all in the family because this got really political. It's a very red and blue episode, for sure. We're talking about his story, Two, directed by Linda Mendoza.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Great job, by the way, Linda. Great job. Linda is one of our favorite filmmakers who directed the show. Mikey Weston, guest stars. And our old friend, Michael Weston, who when I first – Michael Weston I met on a movie called Getting to Know You. It was my first real part in a movie. It was a tiny little indie.
Starting point is 00:23:21 And he had actually gone to Northwestern, coincidentally, but we didn't know each other, as all the finest actors have. And we became friends. If you remember in Garden State, he plays the cop that pulls me over on my motorcycle. And then when I moved out to L.A., we were roommates in a house together. Anyway, so Michael Weston guest stars as Private Dancer. And then when I moved out to L.A., we were roommates in a house together. Anyway, so Michael Weston guest stars as a private dancer. Why is a private dancer in a veterans hospital was my first question.
Starting point is 00:23:56 This is scrubs, man. We have a bunch of different people in the hospital. We break the rules sometimes. We break the rules a little. How the Todd occasionally does breast augmentation when he wouldn't be doing that. Right. Okay. Well, we've got a wounded soldier in our hospital. Yes. At the first bed, too.
Starting point is 00:24:14 I don't know why. I don't know why. But that's all right. It's Scrubs. It's a TV show. So, yeah, I couldn't help but think of All in the Family while watching this because All in the Family, for those of you too young to know, was a comedy that like really brazenly took on politics and all the issues of the time, racism, Democrats versus Republicans, the wars. And Archie Bunker was this crotchety, very conservative old white man. And his son-in-law was a very liberal,
Starting point is 00:24:43 played by Rob Reiner. He called him Meathead. And he was as liberal as canin-law was a very liberal play by rob reiner he called him meathead and he was uh as liberal as can be he was a hippie at the time of of the show and and so anyway when i was watching this scrubs all of a sudden getting very political about the iraq war i couldn't help but think that this was like i don't know bill trying to have a sort of all in the family episode where where we actually went there politically about the war, about the Iraq war. No, yeah, absolutely. But that's it's also the B storyline, too, which is which is it's the it. I know it takes place. What do you think the A storyline is? The A story is Kelso's is Kelso's holding it in.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Yeah, that's actually the A storyline. is uh kelso's holding it in yeah uh that's actually the a storyline so the backdrop in all of this is that you know he he he feels that he's obsolete in the hospital and he's witnessing you know what this uh what private dancer is bringing to the hospital because he's a he's a veteran from the iraq war it reveals so much, reveals Eliot's a Republican. It reveals, you know, I mean, there's so much involved in it. But the A storyline is Kelso feels like the hospital's falling apart because of what he's witnessing. And actually, it's not.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Everybody's still able to do their jobs. It's a really good theme's a really good theme, if you think about it. Like we as Americans right now, we can go at it with each other just over our beliefs and stuff like that. And sometimes it makes it so that we can't get the job done. And sometimes it makes it so that we can't get the job done. And this was a great example of a hospital being in a situation where everybody has different beliefs, but they still are able to accomplish their one common goal. And that is to save lives. Well, until it takes over the hospital. And to remind people, this is the one where Kelso has the voiceover.
Starting point is 00:26:43 It's one of those ones where I'm not in it that much. I bump into Kelso and he takes the voiceover. Right. And then you're on vacation pretty much for the rest of the episode. Well, I was in the park reading Iraq War for Dummies. Yeah. By the way, I will get to it. But the janitor predicted where bin Laden was.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Yeah. Sorry, spoilers. But this is long before we found bin Laden, and the episode ends with the janitor saying bin Laden's in Pakistan. Yeah. So don't think we weren't geniuses. Well, we were ahead of the game. Yeah, well, whoever wrote that line was.
Starting point is 00:27:21 I wonder which writer wrote that line. Well, whoever wrote that line was, I wonder which writer wrote that line. Joelle wanted to point out that calling your calling. Joelle, is this, am I correct in your interpretation that calling Carla pickle so that I can be able to call the baby little gherkin doesn't make sense because gherkins are made from baby cucumbers? Not that it doesn't make sense. I just had no idea what a gherkin was made from baby cucumbers not that it doesn't make sense i just had no idea what a gherkin was but what's a pickle is a pickle uh related to a cucumber
Starting point is 00:27:51 yeah it was a full-blown cucumber that's just been soaked in vinegar okay okay i thought you were saying that a pickle wasn't a cucumber no just that i like gherkins do you guys like gherkins i do i love gherkin. You don't like pickles at all? Period. Don't show me a pickle. I don't. Which weird is I like some pickled vegetables. I love a pickled carrot.
Starting point is 00:28:14 What about pickled cabbage? I like a kimchi. That's fermented. Yeah. Isn't that more or less the same thing? Well, yeah, I guess so. I like a gherkin. Isn't that more or less the same thing? Well, yeah, I guess so. I guess you could say. You know how they have the mini carrots in the bag?
Starting point is 00:28:30 Gherkins like that for a pickle. Yeah, I like that. Someone should make a bag of those things. Bagging all my good ideas today. That's a great little snack with a little dip too. A nice little dip. My reverse
Starting point is 00:28:47 soul man just giving it to the world. Reverse soul man. There's so many things to unpack with reverse soul man. Well, Kelso. The black man who tries to be white. Reverse soul man.
Starting point is 00:29:04 Well, Eddie did it. Could never do it funnier than Eddie on Saturday Night Live. No, that's probably the best version of it. So Kelso doesn't want to, he's phoning it in. He doesn't learn the intern's names. He says the men will be Dave and the women will be Debbie. And the girl's young woman says, well, that's convenient. My name's Debbie. He goes, well, then you shall be
Starting point is 00:29:25 Slagathor. Slagathor is actually, Slagathor is played by Lindsay Ravage. Her husband is Andy Schwartz, who was a writer on the show. Yes. They have a son named Quincy who went to Sunnyside with my daughter Wilder, actually. Oh, so you've
Starting point is 00:29:41 hung out with Slagathor since the show? Oh, absolutely. We've hung out a few times. Were you've hung out with Slagathor since the show? Oh, absolutely. We've hung out a few times. Were you tempted to call her Slagathor? No, because I forgot that she was on the show when I first met her. And was she like, I'm Slagathor? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Donald, I'm Slagathor. It's me, Slagathor. I was like, because I knew we worked together on Scrubs, but I didn't know that she played Slagathor. I just thought she played one of the interns. So when I saw her, I wasn't like, hey, you were Slagathor. So it's never come up that she was Slagathor. But now that I know that she was Slagathor,
Starting point is 00:30:23 next time I see her, I'll be like, what's up, Slagathor? Yeah. I think he calls her Slaggy later. Slaggy. So this is interesting. Kelso. Oh, yeah. So then Ted is used as a human eight ball, which was funny.
Starting point is 00:30:42 That shit was hilarious. And then he goes, and he goes, ask again later. Why would I do that? He shakes his head again. Yeah. And Ken really let him have it. Yeah, he went at it. Well, Ken Carrion, the first thing I thought
Starting point is 00:30:58 when he picked up the Asian lady in the... That's the officer and gentleman spoof. Do you know that? Yes, I know. I knew that. We aren't there yet. Wait, was Kelso in Vietnam or Korea? I think it's the Korean War he's in.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Because he says he wants to stay. I'm not sure. I'll figure it out. I thought it was Vietnam. Age-wise, I think it would probably be Vietnam. Okay, so Vietnam. He wants to stay in Vietnam. That was his fantasy,
Starting point is 00:31:40 to stay in Vietnam, because he thought this would happen. Vietnam. Vietnam. Okay. Kelso first imagines if he stayed in Vietnam, and then we go into an officer and a gentleman's booth. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's a famous Richard Gere, Deborah Winger movie.
Starting point is 00:32:02 And he comes in at the end and picks her up in uniform and he's super sexy. Way to go, Paula! Way to go! I don't know if it holds up, but it was a great movie, I remember. When I was a kid, I just loved the steamy shower scene where they're having sex. I thought that was the best thing in my life. Yeah, there was a hot sex scene, right?
Starting point is 00:32:19 In the shower. And there was some great music. Love lifts us up where we belong. That was the actual theme song to the movie, like played by guitar, piano, you name it. Right. They played it over and over and over again. The theme of the movie is these guys were in the Navy and they want to be pilots for the Navy.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Oh, yeah. And it's the training that you have to go through. And the sergeant, played by Louis Gossett Jr., he won an Academy Award for this movie, by the way. Oh, nice play. Masterful job. But it's such a great movie. If you ever get the chance to watch it.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Am I allowed to play 30 seconds of Love Lifts Us Up? Yeah, just talk about it. It's such a... So the theme song of the movie is Love Lifts Us Up, Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong. But they actually play it throughout the movie as a score as well. You remember this, Darl? Of course.
Starting point is 00:33:23 We're talking about it, Joelle. We're analyzing and talking about it joelle we're analyzing and talking about it that's jennifer warns and joe connor in a world Sing it, girl. Get to the chorus. Well, Daniel can cut it. That's 30 seconds. He can cut it. Oh, damn. Anyway, listen, guys. You should watch Officer and Gentleman. Donald just convinced me that it's a good movie you should watch.
Starting point is 00:33:52 Well, I mean, it has an Academy Award winning performance in it. I don't know if it still holds up. I remember the scene in the pool where they're training them how to survive when your fighter jet goes underwater. Yeah. It was good. Yeah. Anyway, so that's what, if you're confused your fighter jet goes underwater yeah it was good yeah um anyway so
Starting point is 00:34:05 that's what if you're confused by kelso's double fantasy it's they're both related to officer and gentleman now it's way more trippy and bizarre when the vietnamese woman that he's in love with comes and picks him up in the icu yes now does do you think that young woman was strong enough? Absolutely. Yeah, she was. Absolutely, yes. I was surprised that Ken was strong enough to pick her up, to be honest with you. Well, she was light, but Ken, I mean,
Starting point is 00:34:35 she picked Ken up and held him in like a baby. Ken picked her up like she was a feather. It was just like she hopped into his arms, and she did the same thing to him. Oh, by the way, in the show, it's sung in the Vietnamese version. Yes. Which I don't know if it was done. So play some more of it.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Let's play 30 more seconds of it. Are we allowed to, Joelle? Or was it one per show? I don't know what the fucking rules are. Will you talk over this one a little bit more? Okay, go ahead. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Should I go to a later point in the song?
Starting point is 00:35:06 Yeah, get to the love lift us up. I don't have the Vietnamese version. Get to the love lift us up. This is the way I feel. The mountain high. Oh, this is where it gets. This is where it goes. Right here.
Starting point is 00:35:19 But it's like a little version. That's Joe Cocker. Hey. The e Eagles fly. You're talking over it, Joel. The mountain high. You're talking over this shit. I'm not analyzing the fuck out of this, Joel.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Well, we know. What weddings do you think that song was played at? Oh, my gosh. It's a great song. I didn't know it was Joe Cocker. That's one of those songs I used to play back when I watched G.I. Joe and Voltron and they would have that as a greatest
Starting point is 00:35:51 hits. That's on every greatest hits record ever made. Like if there's a if there was a bop you know, 1980 that song is definitely on there. All right. For sure.
Starting point is 00:36:07 So listen, we're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we're going to talk about Kelso actually likes J.D. He admits in his voiceover. We'll be right back. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.
Starting point is 00:36:52 I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty.
Starting point is 00:37:25 You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer, to a certain extent, is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer,
Starting point is 00:37:57 because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers, and so many other fascinating people, like actress and director Cheryl Hines. They were looking for an unknown actress
Starting point is 00:38:37 to play Larry David's wife. I said, well, how old is that guy? Isn't he old? And author David Sedaris. You know, like when you meet somebody and they'll say, well, I want to be a writer or I want to be an artist. And I say, well, is it all you care about? Because if it's not, it's going to be pretty hard for you if you're not on fire.
Starting point is 00:39:02 It's like opening the door of an oven and it's like, wow. You know, you take a step back. It's all they think about. It's all they talk about. It's all they care about. They don't have relationships. They're not good friends for other people. This is just what they're laser focused on. Listen to the new
Starting point is 00:39:20 season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status
Starting point is 00:39:56 as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you to and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it. And I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready.
Starting point is 00:40:14 You know, people give up right before they get what they always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! You know, so Kelso likes JD, huh? Not only does Kelso like JD, Donald, but it gets more complicated than that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:42 like J.D. Donald, but it gets more complicated than that. He thinks, he says this in voiceover, that he'd be great for his gay son, Harrison. And the reason is because he happens to know that Harrison is looking for a new power bottom.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Now I have multiple questions. How does Kelso... Oh Oh man you can't play it You can't play it You cannot play it Kenny What? Everybody likes a little ass play every now and then You cannot do it But listen once I get that set up
Starting point is 00:41:21 I would have played it So Kelso Seems dismissive of his son's sexuality but now we learn that he knows that harrison is in indeed in search of a new power bottom right i think a lot of things went down when we found out that the play that harrison was actually putting on was a facade. Yes. Do you think that brought them together?
Starting point is 00:41:49 I think that might have built some bridges back up in therapy and in conversation. And, Joelle, what exactly is a power bottom? A power bottom is somebody who really likes getting, you know, effed in the bottom and they're loud and enthusiastic about it. And they push back, right? Sometimes very demanding about it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Wow. I'm not going to lie. I need a power bottom in my life. I'm not going to lie. I wouldn't mind a little bit of a power bottom in my life. Oh my God. Casey, skip this episode.
Starting point is 00:42:30 This power bottom thing. I want to see. So Casey, if you're a power bottom, just kidding, just kidding. If you're a power bottom out there, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:42:40 We would love to have you on the show and talk about what it's like being a power bottom. And, and, and just get to know a power bottom. Joelle, can you seek out a power bottom? I will seek out a power bottom, yes. Shouldn't be too hard to find. No. There's lots of power bottoms.
Starting point is 00:42:59 There are a lot of power bottoms out there. A power bottom can also be interested in other positions, right? Just sometimes they like the power bottom. Or are they usually stereotypically just a go-to power bottom? Stereotypically, maybe a go-to power bottom. Okay. Obviously, it's a spectrum. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:17 I got it. Spectrum. Kinsey scale. All right. Let's get off of power bottoms. Because I just got off yours. Oh, God. Oh. power bottoms um because i just got off yours oh god now we had we had we had seen that elliot um uh was showing some signs of some republican beliefs i told you i told you but this time
Starting point is 00:43:37 she went full non-believing in global warming she tells laverne that she doesn't believe in global warming as she sprays her aerosol hairspray all over the place. Yes. I was surprised about that. I wasn't because five minutes later, what happens in the cafeteria? Elliott is outed for being a Republican. Well, she sort of comes out of the closet herself. She says, I'm tired of being, you know, I'm tired of not talking about this.
Starting point is 00:44:01 And then, you know, other people come out too mickhead mickhead of course keith yeah um so the the cafeteria is split like the country the hospital is now split the hospital much like the country is split uh between uh uh left and right, and everyone starts warring, no pun intended, over the Iraq War and all sorts of other conservative versus liberal things. Right. I want to tread very lightly here now because we don't want to get into that. But I will say, I want to tread very lightly because I get what this episode was meant to do. But I'm going to tell you something right now. That scene in the closet with Elliot and Keith was sexy as fuck.
Starting point is 00:44:56 When she goes, when she goes, how do you feel about Hillary Clinton? And she goes, I hate that bitch. And Elliot goes, oh, God, that's hot. I'm not going to lie. Oh, I hate that bitch And Elliot goes, oh god, that's hot I'm not gonna lie Oh, you like that You got a shift And for me, my penis went I'm not a Republican, though
Starting point is 00:45:20 I'm not surprised that Keith and Elliot A bang in the closet While talking shit about Democrats. It was taboo. It was forbidden. In the closet talking about Democrats. Now, this is the episode where the janitor, I've talked about this magical prop before. I thought it was a squirrel.
Starting point is 00:45:36 It turns out it's a rabbit. The janitor has made a rabbit salt and pepper shaker. Yes. And I'm pretty sure that was a real rabbit at one point yes at one point yes yeah and now it's a the johnny o salt and pepper shaker johnny must have this problem johnny oh i don't know if you listen to the show but um i'd love to know where that prop is and and um and just look at it. Yeah. Do you really want that? I don't think I want to own it, but I'd like to see it again.
Starting point is 00:46:08 You would freak a lot of people out when they came over for dinner. Well, I wouldn't use it as a salt and pepper shaker. Wait, hold on. You would have a rabbit salt and pepper shaker and not use it for what it's made for? I think I would use it as nostalgia, saying Johnny O was gracious enough to give me the funniest prop ever on Scrubs. It's pretty funny. I don't believe we killed a rabbit.
Starting point is 00:46:33 They found a taxidermied rabbit. Of course. And he turned it into a salt and pepper sugar. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. Anyway, it's a very funny prop, but it's showing the difference between people's ideology i forgot who he's talking to but who is he talking to but whoever it is says you you can't do that
Starting point is 00:46:54 you can you you kill and you believe in uh killing animals uh like hunting animals or something like that and he says yeah if it's for a good reason. And then he brings up the, the rabbit salt and pepper shaker. Yeah. Yes. It was very, like I said, this, it, it, it starts off as the war being the background and then it just goes off into, into so many different things. It's not just about red and blue. It's also about idea, idea idea how do you say ideology ideol it's also about ideology like there's just so much involved in this episode who wrote it that's what we never got to that who wrote this episode it definitely was controversial uh probably even at the time because i mean the
Starting point is 00:47:42 todd has a joke where he goes talking about women being forced to cover up in Iraq he says the war in Iraq try the war to see rack I mean that's a bit of a that's funny Mike Schwartz roar that's perfect wow all right wow who plays who plays Lonnie everybody no not who sorry who plays he plays the delivery guy
Starting point is 00:48:08 what's the delivery guy's name dude I don't know come on man I don't know come on man Joel can you find I was on the show he has a name
Starting point is 00:48:15 I was on the show for nine seasons I don't remember he is he Lloyd Lloyd Lloyd
Starting point is 00:48:21 he's the loneliest person in the world he touches his shoulder when he's touched. A homeless guy threw poo in his eye the last episode. We know that a homeless guy threw poo in his eye. And we know that he likes speed metal. Forget else we know about Lloyd. Well, I love that he wanted to check to see if whose poo they needed to check first.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Mine or his? Mine or his? Mine or his. First him, then you. Now, I have a rare appearance in the episode when I come to tell you that I want to see if you've seen the funnies in the paper and if you've seen Marmaduke. I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know how I memorized that whole run of medical jargon or not. It's not even medical jargon. It's political jargon.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Well, you clearly worked on it because you did it in one take. They didn't cut you all around you. Right. I know. Bill probably had to give you like a weak warning. Like Donald. I don't know how I was able to have speech. And I sped through it too.
Starting point is 00:49:22 You did a good job. Like the whole, the whole scene. The whole scene. Like I'm sitting there like, how did I? How did I? Maybe you memorized it like a rap. Because you told me once like you can memorize rap lyrics because there's rhythm to it. This was back.
Starting point is 00:49:34 This is back when I was out every night, when I was partying hard. Like this is, so my mind was not, I don't know how I was able to do it. Now it's not a problem. But back then, holy cow, I was very distracted. And so for me to be able to do it, for me to be able to do that, when I saw that, I was like, wow, I'm surprised I did that.
Starting point is 00:49:56 Now, we talk about Marmaduke, and we giggle about Marmaduke. Then we get into the boondocks, and I say, man, that little kid hates honkies. And you say, who doesn't? Yeah, as you walk away. Yeah, and not even jokingly, seriously. Yeah, like who doesn't? Well, you know, I think... That makes me think it's even more of an homage
Starting point is 00:50:16 to All in the Family because they used to throw the word honky around left and right on that show. It was George Jefferson. Joel, is the word honky like the N-word in that only white people are allowed to say honky or African Americans allowed to say honky there's no word like the n-word
Starting point is 00:50:31 yeah thank you Donald if you want you can say honky I never thought I couldn't I didn't wasn't it George Jefferson who called me honkies yeah all the time all the time all the time. All the time. All the time.
Starting point is 00:50:48 Very, I mean. I don't know what the origin of the word honky is. Joelle, can you look that up for us? It's a funny word. I can look that up. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.
Starting point is 00:51:27 This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers.
Starting point is 00:52:12 Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast it's me connecting me talking raw in the moment that's what my goal is to give you to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer because I think that there's something so much bigger than me and to be honest I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in.
Starting point is 00:52:53 Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers, and so many other fascinating people, like actress and director Cheryl Hines. They were looking for an unknown actress to play Larry David's wife. I said, well, how old is that guy? Isn't he old? And author David Sedaris. You know, like when you meet somebody and they'll say, well, I want to be a writer or I want to be an artist. And I say, well, is it all you care about? Because if it's not, it's going to be
Starting point is 00:53:40 pretty hard for you if you're not on fire. It's like opening the door of an oven, and it's like, wow. You know, you take a step back. It's all they think about. It's all they talk about. It's all they care about. They don't have relationships. They're not good friends for other people. This is just what they're laser-focused on.
Starting point is 00:53:58 For all their energy goes, yeah. Listen to the new season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan, and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television. in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station,
Starting point is 00:54:26 playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance.
Starting point is 00:54:43 In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it. And I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready to, you know, people give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. people quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, so then we have,
Starting point is 00:55:14 the janitor has a globe on his cart. He says, point to Iraq. I go, that's Iraq. He goes, that's China. I go, you're China. Yeah. Yeah. So once's China. I go, you're China. Yeah. Yeah. So once again,
Starting point is 00:55:29 it tracks though, because JD is horrible at geography. Right. Once again. Yeah. Just like me. And just like you. Just like me. Kelso has tattooed the name Johnny on his ass.
Starting point is 00:55:43 On his ass cheek. On his ass cheek. On his ass cheek. And later he sort of reveals that. He was in love with Johnny. He was in love with Johnny. Yeah. Yeah. Because later he secretly reveals in his voiceover that he wished he'd
Starting point is 00:56:00 married Johnny. Yeah. Yeah. Um. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so Kelso, fine. No one has any use for Kelso.
Starting point is 00:56:14 He's pissed off. He wants to get back in the game. And because Carl is out as a nurse for another week, he decides that, and maybe they did this again because of Judy being her hip. Yeah, her hip. You know, I wonder if that's true. But there was a funny moment. But she was barely in the episode, right?
Starting point is 00:56:38 Yeah. She's like one shot in the episode. I'm sure we shot it later. I wonder, this made me laugh really hard. It's funny you say that, Donald, because when she appears, she's behind, she's not in the lobby. She's on the other side. Side of the wall, yeah. I wonder if you caught this joke, because I fucking laughed at this joke.
Starting point is 00:57:01 because I fucking laughed at this joke. So in order to get back at Elliot, Cox and Turk make it so that slogans, dumb slogans that she said back in the day are now on the coffee books. Yeah, just like how Starbucks used to put, I guess, quotes on their cups or something. So now it's dumb shit Elliot said. And I didn't realize she said this but at one point elliot said my bajingo is on fire yes and they put that on the coffee cups i don't know elliot reed may 2004 i don't remember when elliot said that her bajingo was on fire
Starting point is 00:57:40 something like right when i heard that i was like when the fuck did she say my bajingo is on do you think it was really in an episode or or it was well i think she did when she was talking about like getting waxed or something oh i wonder if i can find the original she can't say um but she calls her vagina a bajingo but then private dancer goes what's a bajingo i forgot does kelso say anything or he just shows him the cup he shows him the cup and he's reading and he goes my bachingo's on fire elliot reed may 2004 yeah joelle is probably whatever episode was made 2004 it's probably in one of them. So Kelso becomes a nurse. Yes. The janitor plans to turn a cat into a spice rack.
Starting point is 00:58:32 My God. How is that possible? How is that possible? I don't know. How do you make a cat into a spice rack? I would have loved to have seen what Johnny O came up with. Johnny O is probably like, put me put me in coach let me make it i guess you'd hold i guess it would be mounted upside down with the with the legs up oh so wait hold on the spices up so like on the private parts and the nipples and all of that stuff of the cat
Starting point is 00:59:05 well um the nipples i i guess would would be wouldn't really get in the way of the spices and they might help hold the spices in place all right this is so dark do we gotta call her no wait not yet um i'm not done yet wait kelso becomes a nurse um he gets rescued in his fantasy by a vietnamese woman that was his lover that was uh then gossipy as or as joelle put it uh what did you say kiki kiki oh kiki sorry i should have that's like a gossiping yeah you chatted up with the girls we can oh donald do you love me are you writing so you never never leave beside me donald do you ever use the term have a kiki no is is joelle does joelle are you like hey hey do
Starting point is 01:00:04 you want to get together and have a kiki yeah yeah well no i mean i don't think you'd ever invite anyone specifically to a kiki but you might describe later what happened as a kiki oh girl we was on the zoom and all of a sudden we was kiki do you love me are you riding so you never never leave so i'm still looking for the bajingo quote uh honky is a much disputed term that there's no factual basis of where it came from people thought it was west african slang but that was pretty debunked there's my favorite theory is it might come from the word bohunk or hunky which refers to hungarian bohemian and other eastern european immigrants um but that's that's the best guess we have all right well i don't know i don't know i just know that donald's allowed to say it
Starting point is 01:00:52 donald do you want to practice saying it no do your best george jefferson impression wheezy the hunk is at the door it's horrible that's horrible when I was a kid they called me George Jefferson because of my hairline this is my favorite quote from the episode whether it be taking a poop
Starting point is 01:01:19 whether it be a finger whether it be a tongue you know everybody likes a little ass flake whether it be a finger, whether it be a tongue, whether it, you know, everybody likes low ass play. Whether it be taking a poop, whether it be a finger, whether it be a tongue, whether it, you know, everybody likes low ass play. Oh, my gosh. I said that. I will never not know that I said that. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:01:41 Good thing our moms gave up listening to the show. I hate to tell you this, but it's true, though. Alright, well, what else can we talk about? We're almost done here. Kelso reveals, oh yeah, we talked about he wishes he married his Vietnam buddy. Oh, and
Starting point is 01:01:57 then he unites everyone around a common enemy. He takes away the coffee discount and coffee bucks. We should have started the show off with that. Everyone's very angry at Kelso in the beginning He takes away the coffee discount and coffee bucks. And we should start. We should have started the show off with that. Everyone's very angry at Kelso in the beginning of the show because he's not living up to his duties anymore. You said duty. I did.
Starting point is 01:02:22 But they do thank him for the employee discount at the coffee bucks. And so everybody's thankful for that and so at the end in order to be a dick again and cause them to unite against the common enemy as you just said yes he takes away the employee discount yes because i guess that that must fall into like when americans have been at war traditionally they often come together against a common enemy um it's gonna have to be aliens saying this racism not iraq i'm gonna tell you right now it's gonna have to be aliens saying this racism shit because this shit's forever i don't know coming by and no one cares like they they're literally like doing drive-bys like hey guys how's it going i don't know why they don't just land and come now that the pandemic is starting to be over
Starting point is 01:03:05 why don't they come have a kiki I remember when the pandemic was happening it was like aliens I don't know if this is true but I heard that NASA or I don't know who it is or somebody is going to send out a ping in the galaxy to let whoever's out there know that where exactly
Starting point is 01:03:26 Earth is. And there's a DNA. Don't do that shit. Our DNA structure will be in the ping, male and female, all types of shit. And didn't Stephen Hawking say don't do that? Yeah, he said it would be like Columbus discovering America.
Starting point is 01:03:42 I don't know what happened. I'm just going to say we've been doing that for decades already already we've been sending our radio signals into space for but not like exactly where we are and this is our dna structure daniel if but if there's any if there's any intelligent life that's strong enough to pick up whatever radio signal we're sending out into space which only gets like a little bit further than the the signal that we're about to send out or whatever they would have found us already they They have. They're driving by. They've seen us. They're driving by. I'm just saying, this is a publicity thing.
Starting point is 01:04:09 They went right by the Earth and then around the sun and then out the other way, dude. I did. I saw the tic-tac. I saw the tic-tac. Tic-tac, a little weird. A little strange. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, the little, yeah. If you know what we're talking about, go on the YouTubes. What do you search for? I'm going to see what you search for.
Starting point is 01:04:25 Space Tic Tac. Space Tic Tac? Yeah, I'm willing to bet if you Google Space Tic Tac, it'll come up. Is that the fighter pilot who's freaking out? Yep. No, I'm talking about the long probe. They wrote about it in a book a long time ago, man. A long time ago.
Starting point is 01:04:40 It was written in a book. Clancy Brown hit me to it. It's like a probe yeah it was like that comes through it looks like a it looks like a but they in the book they like land on it and all of that stuff anyway it comes through goes around the sun and exits and it's an it looks like an odd shaped uh asteroid that shit just happened and we did nothing but say oh wow look at the odd shapedshaped asteroid the shit came through went through past really close to us went around the sun and then exited our solar system
Starting point is 01:05:13 and we said nothing like yeah everyone's too busy everyone's too busy to realize that the aliens are doing flybys watch that if you want to look at them on youtube it's it's labeled um watch navy pilot describes encounter with tic tac shaped unidentified flying object yeah and it's pbs news hour so it's not it's it's the real deal holy field um it's pretty amazing footage of this fighter jet pilot freaking the out at what he sees because he's like what he you know pilot freaking the fuck out at what he sees because he's like what he you know no one knows better than him that nothing flies like that from earth right and and he was having a hard time getting it on the radar like he's trying to ping it and then once he pings it he gets so excited he's like i got that motherfucker he's so excited i got it look at it but he's like can't believe
Starting point is 01:06:01 what the craft is doing he's like look at him look what the craft is doing. He's like, look at him, look at him, look at him. And of course, the episode ends with the janitor predicting bin Laden in Pakistan, which when we actually found bin Laden in Pakistan, I remember lots of Scrubs viewers putting on Twitter and the like, the janitor guessed right all along. The janitor knew. The janitor knew. You know how they always say the Simpsons is always right the simpsons predicts all these things well the janitor predicted that how does this is this is the simpsons are like i'm so at a loss of words for that like did they
Starting point is 01:06:37 actually predict all of these things or is this somebody cleverly because like because there's so many episodes yeah they really did to some extent most of the things that you're seeing like the trump presidency is absolutely real with the orb with them standing around the orb and everything like that yeah yeah yeah portion of it like holy that was crazy the escalator thing was really like how did how how did they do that the what thing there's a scene in one of the episodes where president donald trump is coming down an elevator or an escalator and like waving at people in the simpsons episode and that exact scene played out in real life do you think trump saw
Starting point is 01:07:17 it and said oh i'll do it like that man i don't i do not know what if his son was like what if his son was like dad if you're gonna it, you should do it like this. That would be giving them so much fucking credit. Man, dude, that's meta almost, man. All right, shall we go to the break? We're going to take a break, and I'm going to allow urine to flow through my urethra, and then we will have a caller.
Starting point is 01:07:44 We'll be right back. Urine goes through the urethra, and then we will have a caller. We'll be right back. Urine goes through the urethra? Yeah. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case.
Starting point is 01:08:33 And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you.
Starting point is 01:09:16 There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin.
Starting point is 01:09:55 This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers, and so many other fascinating people, like actress and director Cheryl Hines. They were looking for an unknown actress to play Larry David's wife. I said, well, how old is that guy? Isn't he old? And author David Sedaris. You know, like when you meet somebody and they'll say, well, I want to be a writer or I want to be an artist. And I say, well, is it all you care about?
Starting point is 01:10:31 Because if it's not, it's going to be pretty hard for you if you're not on fire. It's like opening the door of an oven and it's like, wow. You know, you take a step back. It's all they think about. It's all they talk about. It's all they care about. They don't they talk about. It's all they care about. They don't have relationships. They're not good friends for other people.
Starting point is 01:10:49 This is just what they're laser focused on. Listen to the new season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. wherever you get your podcasts. which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you to check it out.
Starting point is 01:11:47 The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. You know, people give up right before they get what they always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Play that song. costs. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up Maybe talk about the episode So come on, Joelle, let's get the show on the road Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Kai Kao! Hey, there she is.
Starting point is 01:12:37 Hi, Kai. Hi, Kai, welcome. Thank you. Welcome to the show. Kai, is that the way to say it? Yeah. Kai, welcome to the program. It says create your happiness, live your life. We like that. We like that expression, live your life. The Nick Cordero song, which is a beautiful song. Welcome to the program. Tell us about yourself. How did, how did Joelle end up finding you?
Starting point is 01:13:06 Hosted. She was looking for a last minute guest and she liked my question. What was your question? Just dive into it. Go for it. Yeah. So April is autism awareness acceptance month and I'm autistic. And Scrubs has really helped me embrace my weirdness as an autistic person so i'm wondering what is a quirk or insecurity that you've learned to embrace oh my god that's a very good question a great question um i am i i i feel very uh what's a quirk i know i just think i'm a weird person i've always thought that I was a quirky sort of odd person I mean I know I've spoken about this on the podcast before but like
Starting point is 01:13:51 I thought it was so weird because everyone in my public school was playing sports and I had zero interest and I was like what is wrong with me why didn't why do I have no interest and then they'd watch sports and they'd all talk about the game. And I'd be like, and then I just didn't, I really thought there was something wrong with me until I discovered theater. And then I was like, oh, there's other things that I love. You don't have to just pick lacrosse. No offense to those who love lacrosse. So then I learned to embrace theater and really love that. But I have to admit, I have to admit to you, Kai, that I was still embarrassed at school.
Starting point is 01:14:32 Most of the theater stuff I would still too shy in my school to do the theater productions because I was so worried about fitting in and not and in my school they were kind of treated at the time uh like dorky and and and not cool and I you know like so many young kids I wanted to be accepted I wanted to be. And so I kind of like had this double life where I was like kind of a bit of a class clown in school. But then like outside, I was finding my passion of performing in theater and stuff. Donald? I'm a bit of an introvert. I know I come off as someone who is very loud and likes to be in front of a lot of people. I don't like to hang out, though.
Starting point is 01:15:29 I don't like to go out. I don't like to... But when you were younger, you did. Yeah, I preferred to... Now you just got old. I did hang out. She asked for... It's a quirk.
Starting point is 01:15:39 It's a quirk that I've developed, I guess. And I prefer to, you know, I prefer to sit on my couch and watch tv amy schumer said it best on the oscars during her her uh her monologues you remember she's like you know how great is this you know what's better than this what is better than this she goes you know what's better than this home yeah home she goes that's where all my pills are yeah yeah that's funny and i i i fall into that category now uh i'd prefer to be home than do quite a few things in my life uh and you know i'm lucky to have friends like zach who understand this about me yeah that's where we go that's why donald and
Starting point is 01:16:19 i are already eating dinner at like senior citizen hour we like well how about six yeah uh but i saw some funny i saw some funny meme i thought of us donald it was like like uh like like a dog making a face like what the hell are you talking about it was like when your friends ask you to meet up at 9 30 p.m yeah you gotta be out your mind you gotta be out your mind out your mind yeah i guess that's the this is 47 because i uh no we're not we're not we're not meeting up at 9 30 i talked to somebody on the phone other than you dude for the first time in a real other than you or my agent in like or my mom in a couple of years and we talked for like 30 minutes and it was like it was it was it was, it was, it was weird, dude. Like I was, I was uncomfortable at first, like shit,
Starting point is 01:17:07 I shouldn't have picked up the phone one. You know what I mean? And then never pick up the phone. Right. And then we had the conversation and at the end of it, I was actually relieved because we had such a good time talking, but, but it wasn't a FaceTime. It was a phone call. It was an actual phone call. Yeah. For some reason, I'm better with FaceTime than the actual call these days.
Starting point is 01:17:28 Kai, you feel like Kai is nodding. You agree? The not liking the phone is just an all the time thing for me, not just a pandemic. So I get it. Really? But do you do you feel that that's because you're shy? Do you think that's tied into your autism? Tell us a little more about yourself.
Starting point is 01:17:51 No, I think it's that's mostly anxiety just I also have anxiety so and just like when you're like you said FaceTime I find it easier because you can see people's faces so you don't have to rely on the tone of voice so much yes um do you feel that your anxiety um and by the way you can can say none of your business, Zach, shut the fuck up. But do you think your anxiety is tied into your autism or do you feel like there are two separate things? Yeah, I definitely think they're related. Like, I would say the vast majority of people with autism also have anxiety. So, yeah. Yeah. And it's quite, as I understand, and I have a limited understanding, but it's, it's quite a spectrum of autism. There's people who are, who are, who suffer and, and on a very intense level. And those who, I mean, if I met you and you didn't tell me, I wouldn't necessarily know that you have autism. So right. It's quite a, it's quite a wide spectrum. Yeah. Right. Joelle. Yeah. I mean i mean listen as somebody who's neurodivergent like i totally feel a lot of that like trying to um sometimes just open my computer is scary for me i do a lot of work on my phone like as much as possible because it doesn't seem as important
Starting point is 01:18:59 or heavy i have a hard time with facetime i'm not trying to always keep my ankles up but i really i'm a big speakerphone person i'm like i like speakerphone by the way i've just recently moved to speakerphone as a as a yeah there's something about this holding it this way as opposed to this that i've been enjoying lately yeah yeah i'll just leave it at one spot in my room and i'm moving around doing laundry like i need to be up into and I have a DD so like I need to be touching things and moving and, you know, especially because a lot of my job is like on a microphone and I'm not allowed to move or touch things have to work really hard not to be tapping on things or whatever so yeah it's a, it's definitely a spectrum it is definitely a process but I also think that you know having a lot of friends that are either on the autism spectrum or neurodivergent like me like we work really hard to try to normalize the things that have been othered our whole lives it's a challenge but it's also been really like a beautiful experience to kind of come into this
Starting point is 01:20:05 acceptance i forget things a lot and you know i have friends who are like i need you to text me like right away it's never gonna happen love like i can't i'm not glued to my phone that way wow well so it's like what you're saying is like you have to work i mean you have to say what you're saying too is that you're learning to like accept who it is that you are this is me and and um and i'm not gonna it's impossible i obviously can do work on myself we all can but there's certain things that are me and i need to one i mean if i one needs to embrace who they who they truly are yeah yeah there's a new show kai i don't know if you've watched a little i watched a little bit of it called um as we see it have you heard about that yeah i watched it did you think it's about um uh three uh autistic adults who live together um did you did you feel it was accurate or funny
Starting point is 01:20:57 or good or would you recommend it to other people with autism yeah i would i think it was like definitely a step in the right direction because all of the actors were autistic and that doesn't often so donald we know um one of the actors he's a stand-up um and he's very funny and his name is rick glassman oh really did you know that i did not you know how he was on Bill's show? And he's a stand-up comedian. He's very funny. Undateable.
Starting point is 01:21:29 Yeah. And he late in life was diagnosed with autism. And it's like what Kai was saying. It always felt a little bit different. And so obviously in the terms of the spectrum, he wasn't severely autistic, if that's the correct way to put it. But he always felt and then and then went and saw someone and and realized that he was indeed uh autistic and he's wonderful on the show he's a very good actor and uh he's very funny it's a comedy i recommend uh people checking out it's called as we as we see it it's very unique you've never seen a show like it it stars uh three
Starting point is 01:22:00 autistic people and they're all very gifted actors yeah i'm gonna check it out i hadn't heard of that before all right kai do you have do you have a fix your life uh anything we can do to to improve your life in any way yes uh so i recently participated in a short film project, and I had never done anything like that and I didn't expect to, but it just kind of happened anyway. I, I really enjoyed it and I fell in love with like the filmmaking process. And I'm just wondering like any advice for how to continue exploring that as an amateur, like no experience.
Starting point is 01:22:41 Keep doing it there. I mean, there's, there's, there's such a desire for more female voices. There's such a desire for autistic voices. What, Joelle, the term you use, neurodivergent? I don't, that's a new term for me. But there's such a hunger for voices. I mean, look at the celebration of the film uh, of the film that won best picture, uh, Coda, um, finally, uh, in a really amazing way, someone made a movie about, uh,
Starting point is 01:23:11 that experience of a, of a, of a deaf family. Um, so I would encourage you to do it. And the way to do it is just keep making movies, get a camera. It can be a cheap camera. You don't have to break the bank. You could literally use your iPhone. Um, you can go on Amazon and there's accessories for your iPhone. That the bank you could literally use your iphone um you can go on amazon and there's accessories for your iphone that'll make you shoot better with your iphone like hand grips and mics and you can there's people that there's that movie what was that um
Starting point is 01:23:34 trans film joelle they shot on tangerine they shot the whole thing on an iphone and it won all these awards so money is not an impediment um it's just about putting the work in, putting the time in, getting some friends together, making- Also having something to say, whatever it is that you want to say, being able to focus it and put it onto a script form, or it's hard to do just for talking with me sometimes, but having something to say is very important. When you find what it is that you want to say, you have all of the tools, is what Zach is saying, to make these projects. And you can, it's accessible. So if you're really serious about, if you're really serious about it, you can do it. Tell your story. I mean, that's what I would say. I mean, that's what, when I made Garden State, I was just telling a version
Starting point is 01:24:18 of my life. I tell, when you, if you make a short, tell something that's interesting about you and your life. It doesn't have to be you exactly. Make a character. But you have a unique, interesting story to tell that no one else could tell but you. So that's my advice is to write a short, gather your friends around to help, and make something that only you could tell. I agree with that 100%. You're welcome, Donald. You're welcome.
Starting point is 01:24:47 You're so welcome. Kai, thank you for coming on. Everybody, that's our show. I think we did it all, Donald. We did do it all. I just want to give a shout out to a GoFundMe. Well, I love you. Happy birthday, obviously.
Starting point is 01:24:59 I want to give a shout out to a GoFundMe. My son Rocco went to school with this young girl named Hayden, who is suffering from leukemia right now. She's eight years old. And her GoFundMe is Help Hayden Fight Leukemia. Her mom was Rocco's teacher in kindergarten, and she taught him how to read. And so, you know, it's something that means that means a lot to me. It means a lot to my wife. I just wanted to say, given with the little bit of time that I have left on this, help Hayden fight leukemia. It's a GoFundMe. Joelle will put it in the show notes.
Starting point is 01:25:39 So if you look in the show notes, you'll be able to find it. And thank you, Kai. Thank you, Dan. Thank you, Daniel. Thank you, Joelle. This was an episode that was all over the place. But I loved it. I did it. And I can't wait to have our new Donald quote in the sound machine.
Starting point is 01:25:56 Why don't you play it one time for everybody? I just feel like I'm a little bit shy to play it in front of Kai because she feels like a gentle woman, a woman who shouldn't hear such horrible things. I agree with you. But Kai, when you hear the episode back, you'll hear it several times. All right, everybody. That's our show.
Starting point is 01:26:14 We love you. With that being said, five, six, seven, eight. Stories about a show we made. About a bunch of docs and nurses in a Canada who love me. I said here's a story that we all should know. So gather round. Hi friends, I'm Danielle Robay.
Starting point is 01:26:33 And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small, we'll talk through it together. Listen
Starting point is 01:27:02 to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist, and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
Starting point is 01:27:38 you get your most fabulous shows. As important as choosing the right destination when traveling is choosing the right travel partner. Gene! Gene Fodor! Gene, what's going on? But be careful, because the worst trips result when two partners have two different agendas. The CIA really need your help, Gene.
Starting point is 01:27:58 Freeze, Americano! Gene! Run! Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I used to have so many men. How this beguiling woman in her 50s... She looked like a million bucks.
Starting point is 01:28:17 ...scams a bunch of famous athletes out of untold fortunes... Nearly $10 million was all gone. It's just unbelievable. Hide your money in your old rich man because she is on the prowl. Listen to Queen of the Con, season five, The Athlete Whisperer on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Starting point is 01:28:38 or wherever you get your podcasts.

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