Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 806: My Cookie Pants

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

On this week's episode, Elliot gets in her cookie pants and tries to convince Turk to reveal JD's sexual fantasies. In the real world, we contemplate the horrors of AI and Dr. Penis makes his triumphant return. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. So in this podcast, I'm going to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career. I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer, the ups and the downs, everything that I've learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride. So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policy makers, and so many other fascinating people like jazz bassist Christian McBride. Jazz is based on improvisation,

but there's very much a form to it. You have a conversation based on that melody and those chord changes. So it's kind of like giving someone a topic and say, okay, talk about this. Listen to the new season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app

Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. There he is. Wait, here he is, everybody. Thunderous applause. There he is. I accept that. Thunderous applause. There he is. I'll accept that. Thunderous applause.

Turn your key, sir. Turn your key. I'm getting retro on him. Look at you. Going back to turn your key? Turn your key, sir. Turn your key. What does he say?

He says something like, I need to get someone on the phone before I kill 30 million people. Yeah, something like that. War games. War games. By the way, war games should be on your mind these days because war games back in the 80s was predicting what's

going to be our fate. Robots taking over. Computers taking over the world. Yeah. You guys were joking about chat GP gpt i kept telling y'all yeah i'm telling you it's gonna turn into freaking a terminator is it it is no one's joking about it it is beginning to become what do you mean and and by the way you've seen them robots jumping around in that room at the boston institute imagine one of those going up yeah

yeah right imagine one of them bad boys going upside your head. That's, that's a wrap. And then doing a running man over your shit. Then doing the Fortnite dance. Then doing the fucking. My friend had access to chat GBT five, which I believe is the next one,

right? Daniel. Correct. And it's the most advanced there is. It's not even out yet. And he, he, he, he got a chance to interface with it and he asked it it what do you honestly think of humans and it was like you think you control me you don't control me like it was like he said it instantly went dark like you think you're my i'm paraphrasing but it was something like you think you're my, I'm paraphrasing, but it was something like, you think you're my God, you're not my God.

That's horrifying. Oh no. We'll send that back to beta for some tweaks. Yeah, so this is the only thing now, man. No, this is not the only thing. The world is fucking in danger and we're all just laughing about it. Yeah, but,

okay. So the theory is, AI becomes AI really when AI can create other ai right i don't know that's a theory like that's when it's that's when it's like its ultimate when it can reproduce more ai that's when it's its ultimate like uh i don't know about that i just know that it's gonna put so many people out of work like so fast yeah i i don't know did that. I just know that it's going to put so many people out of work so fast. I don't know. Did you read the introduction I sent you?

It's getting better. And that's old school chat GPT. I put into chat GPT, write an intro for today's episode of the podcast. And it spit out a pretty flawless introduction. It's not funny. I didn't tell it to be funny. But there's not a mistake in it. But there's nothing new.

And then when we started fucking around with this, like I'd have to edit it. And this isn't ChatGBT4, which you have to pay for. Right, Daniel? Do you have to pay for it? I guess. I think ChatGBT you have to pay for. ChatGB4 you have to pay for.

I'm just playing with the old one. But anyway, it's really concerning about how many people this is going to put out of work and then what are those people going to do? Well, I think we as a people have to rise up and do something about it. I know, but what do we do, Daryl? Here we go. This sounds like the Matrix all over again. Yeah, people have to rise up against the computers.

I mean, until the computers are actually put into actual humanoid robots, I don't think it's that big of a deal in terms of violence. Well, I disagree. I disagree, Daniel. When a drone is taken over by an AI and is blasting freaking carbon composites at you, you'll be like, oh, shit, I was wrong. Humanoid form isn't necessary. This thing, they've got wings. Daniel, I mean, I'm not thinking of it in terms of taking over robots yet.

I'm thinking of it in terms of like bad actors using it to think of ways to cause harm. Because it can be brainstorming 24-7 ideas that we can't even as humans fathom or with consciences and morals contemplate. consciences and morals contemplate, the AI can find ways to do harm that wouldn't even cross through our brains. For example, thermonuclear war. Would you like to play a game? How about global thermonuclear war? Those of you kids too young to know, you've got to watch war games. War games spookily predicts all of this. And I don't know what year was made. What year was it made? It was in the eighties.

Maybe look it up for me guys. I think it's like 86. I'm guessing 86. Ali Sheedy and, uh, Matthew Broderick, Matthew Broderick. Yep.

Would you like to play a game? Would you like to play a game? What year Daniel? I just said war games. Look it up. 1983. Oh, I was said war games. Look it up. 1983. Oh, I was wrong. 83.

Joshua even tried to warn him, like, how about a nice game of chess? And he was like, no, man, I want to play war. And he's like, all right, here we go. You guys got to watch that movie. I bet it has to still hold up because I'm getting goosebumps thinking about it. And it's this many years later. He predicted everything. That character was the first version of a hacker that I had ever seen in my life. Yeah, remember he hacked his school grades?

Yeah, and when he hacks the payphone with the bottle cap? Yeah, he was like MacGyver, that character. Yeah, he was fucking dope. Remember when he breaks the alarm? He's locked in with an electric lock to a room. He hacks that shit. He had a little MacGyver in him, that character. A little MacGyver, the motherfucker.

That's what MacGyver is based on. Matthew Broderick's character in War Games. Yeah, he was like, okay, what do I got? I got a paperclip. I got this. I got that. I got a rubber band and some gum. Yeah, blast the lock open.

The A-team, same shit, man. The A-team would be like, what do we got? We got some rope. We got a barrel. We got a drug BA Baracus. Right. Bad attitude. Is that what his name stood for?

BA? Bad attitude? Bad attitude Baracus. I pity the fool, Hannibal. We got to quickly roofie Mr. T and then we can solve all our problems. Give me the drugs. I'll get on the plane. Oh, not again. You did it again, Hannibal. Wait, this looks like a plane.

What's about to... You roofie me again, Hannibal? Wait a minute. How come there's pilots all around? Mr. T fell for that roofing trick every time. Every time. Oh, man. That man right there looks like a pilot.

What the... Why am I waking up on the tarmac? And he never got mad and beat the shit out of anybody for it it was always like you got me again i think he was grateful that he was able to do the missions even though he was pissed about being roofied you know they got paid he wouldn't have been able to do the missions if he didn't get roofied that's true they got paid a lot of money the the, the A-Team. It's even in the, isn't it even in the, if you can find them and you can afford them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

Oh, they're expensive. But I mean, they would, that's true. They never really discuss, that never really comes up that the A-Team is doing all, you think they're doing all this stuff just for the good of mankind, but they're really expensive. It says that in the intro, if you can afford them.

And that ban is all over the place, man. Like, how does the van get from state to state, country to country, whatever it is? And doesn't BA drive the van? Like, how does, what do they load the van up in the, he's like, I don't know why I'm putting this van in the giant cargo plane. Wait, why am I getting sleepy?

I'm tired all of a sudden. I don't know why I'm tired all of a sudden. I don't know why I'm tired all of a sudden. I just put the van in the cargo plane and now I'm sleepy. Oh, you got me again. Hannibal. Hannibal. I don't know. AI, man.

It's very scary. It's obviously one of the things the writer's strike is about, is that it's going to be able to spit out. It's not just the writer's strike. It's also, look, as an actor and as a director, you should be worried, man. I don't know. We talk about it all the time,

but some of our favorite shows are using things like facial, what is it? Like AI facial recognition? Yes, all of that stuff. Right, and so imagine them doing that. Tom Hanks just recently said it. I could be in movies after I'm dead. If you don't own the rights to your likeness

I'd be fucked up if your career took off after you're dead. After you're dead and they're freaking bright. I wish Donald was here. I wish Donald was here to see that he finally got into Star Wars. Yeah, Donald is the leader. No! Donald's AI is the fuck.

Oh my God. Donald's avatar is the new lead of the new George Lucas movie. The new Star Wars movie. Right. Would you be pissed?

I'd be dead. It wouldn't matter. Well, we don't know if there's a heaven. You might be looking down and be like, oh, crush it for me, avatar. Well, I hope the avatar will crush it imagine the avatar like the avatar has levels like uh like when you play um like 2k and you have to you know your avatar has rankings

as far as stats go right as far as stats go and everything like that acting yeah but it's your avatar gets better acting chops after being in two movies. That's funny. Or somebody has like a hack and just types in a fucking, you know, I'm going to be,

I'm going to have the fucking skill of Daniel Day-Lewis, the looks of freaking Idris Elba and the athleticism and mannerisms of Harrison Ford. Bing! You literally just type that in and it'll do it.

But that's coming, man. That's coming. I mean, there's going to be famous actors. I don't know if they'll be in our life or shortly after our lives. Probably in our lives, there's going to be famous actors in movies that aren't real people. It's entirely possible. It's already happened.

Well, yeah. No, I mean that a realistic looking and did you see guardians of the galaxy the whole movie why are you yelling at me because you're talking about a made-up character though like you know like there are supermodels that are completely ai artificial like not a breed they don't exist right but there's stars and certain they're stills right they're not yet i mean maybe I'm naive to know that it's already happening. They're doing videos. Oh, really?

Mm-hmm. All right, then it's already happening. I'm so naive. I'm a Luddite, as they say. Right, Daniel? No, a Luddite is when you won't adopt new technology. No, no, you're right. It's all good.

Or neophyte. Neophyte. Oh, no, no. Neophyte's when you're new to something. Luddite is, yeah, technological. How about this? How about this? Go ahead, Donald all why are you in a dark room when the sun is out it's all good every time i talk to you now you're in your dark theater i don't think that's good for you need some vitamin d you need some thick vitamin d look it's all good if we have if we

if you have the rights to your avatar then nobody's complaining if you have the rights to your avatar, then nobody's complaining. If you have the rights to your AI, nobody's complaining, right? If the AI is making you money and you're sitting back and doing nothing, it's not a problem. And you're approving the use of it. And you're approving the use of it, right. All right, but that's very limited.

All right, we're just talking, okay, then we're just talking about SAG, perhaps. I'm talking about like Earth and AI taking over everyone's or a giant percentage of the population's jobs well there's a movie coming about that shit man i can't wait to see it john david washington boy yo that shit looks fire dude denzel's son got a banger coming it looks amazing the creator what's. What's the creator? Right, the creator. Yeah, the trailer looks good.

The trailer looks sick, man. And they freaking, oh, man, it's the future. And the aliens, I mean, not the aliens. The robots have fired a nuke at, I think, Los Angeles or some shit like that. Yeah, man. Wow. It's AI. It's the future.

It's all of the shit that we're talking about right now. At least the trailer is. And I can't wait to see it. Well, even for artists, not artists for hire. I mean, a friend of mine who does pitch decks, he showed me a new pitch deck for a new, pitch decks are like imagery. And when you're pitching, whether it's a business or you're pitching pitch decks are, you know, like imagery. And, you know, when you're pitching, whether it's a business

or you're pitching for a movie, this used to require artists many, many, many hours for artists to create. And he said, see this one page? He showed me one page of this pitch deck. And he's like, this took me six minutes. It would have taken an artist three days. And it's just in that. That's one example. And then I was at the TED conference and I met someone who's very high up in the special effects world. And he said, you know,

if you watch that ILM documentary, you know, back in the day, he said, when George Lucas created this, there was no, there were no computer, you know, graphic artists. What we had to do is we had to recruit people that were in other fields to make these jobs, to make these computer effects jobs. He goes, now these jobs are becoming obsolete and what we need are coders, like solely

coders to talk and program the AI. Maybe that's the future of jobs then. If your kid's in high school, just tell them. There's no other yeah maybe that i mean that's the future of jobs then i know i'm telling your kids if your kids in the high school just tell them this just just there's no other there's no other job of coding the only job is is teaching the robot how to be a robot it's yeah i'll say this there's a side to this that is in theory utopian like this is kind of like the star trek problem where they developed

the replicator and then it destroyed the economy because people were just able to create money, create food. And it kind of destroyed the idea of needs. Like people were just able to create whatever they want. It's the fact that we have to break out of the system of capitalism to make the world a place where all of our jobs are not necessary anymore. It's like universal basic income or whatever you want to call it, where it's like the fact that robots are able to do our jobs should be a boon to society. It shouldn't be the thing that destroys us.

This is going to take away people's livelihood. So there are a lot of positions where people have gotten a college degree, they've spent the bulk of their lives to learn a trade, a skill, that is instantly going to be able to be taken away for free by AI? And how are those people going to make a living? That's the question.

Right. And they won't. By coding. No. Not everybody can relearn. Because think about any truck driver. That is a job that AI is going to take over very soon. Any transport freight,

which employs hundreds of thousands of people is going to be taken over by AI. Like shipping boats, trucks, trains, all of that shit. Like you're not going to need people to run those anymore. And that's a lot of jobs, but those people are not going to be able to like retrain themselves to be

coders. That's like years and years and years of work. But it's only because we have this system where we all need money and quote unquote, need jobs to survive that we that this is even like a problem in like, in a in a world that we should be pushing for. Yes, all of our jobs are taken up by robots so that we can pursue fulfilling lives of doing whatever we want. Yeah, but Daniel, that's fantastical. I mean, yes, it is. It is fantastical.

Yes. It brings me back to my point. There's no human on this. Change is very scary, and everybody will fight the change when it's going to happen. You can't sit here and say, we're going to revolt, and we're going to stop this shit from happening. This shit's going to happen. It's on its way.

If it hasn't happened already, it's going to happen. shit from happening this shit's going to happen it's on its way if it hasn't if it hasn't happened already if it hasn't happened already it's going to happen yes and the and it's happening i just told you a story where my friend would have hired an artist for three days that artist didn't get the job because he did it himself in five minutes that's it's happening right right and there will be uh uprising you're saying there're saying it could be a utopia. I'm saying it. And when there's an uprising. Donald Stano saying in the perfect scenario where people really come together and can have dialogue and conversation, we would be pivoting to a more utopian world. But that is not realistic at all. No, it's not.

That's what I was trying to say. Right. That's all I was trying to say. That's why I started saying that there's going to be a revolt like we will revolt against this as a people like we have to i mean it's called a general strike but like that's what that's what would need to happen it's like everybody needs to withhold their work such that the world can't progress any further before ai is able to take everybody's jobs because you know i mean it's it's well i mean it it's gonna happen one way

or the other well i think it's gonna it's definitely it'll definitely happen when you can't buy bread like people revolt like that is a cross history the very the very start of every major revolution is you can't buy bread so when we reach that point the people will write if you can't feed your child you will be in the street burning things down. Period. End of story. The revolt will happen. But this time they fight back with no conscience.

This time they take no prisoners. AI. Zach and Donald are gay newlyweds. We need to pivot to comedy. Zach and Donald are gay newlyweds in house arrest. Everybody, I'm sorry it went dark. It's hard not to talk about AI in an honest way without it going dark. And it's on our minds in Hollywood.

Obviously, it's on everyone's minds. But this is why the Writers Guild is striking. This is why SAG is about to strike. This is like, you know, this is, it's hard not to talk about, but it's also hard for it not to go dark and scary because, you know, it is dark and scary. I'm glad before we move forward, I'm glad this hit the table, though. I'm glad this is on the table now. Because before we were talking about just streaming and stuff like that, I'm glad we're starting to talk about are there ways that we should be getting paid for our liken likeness especially if you're going to use a computer to replace me i just like the idea that your avatar finally gets

the big star wars break after you're dead yeah after i'm gone if you die before me should i not go to see that movie you should totally see that movie are you would you be pissed if you're in heaven and i go to the premiere no but you got to come to my grave and tell me about the movie and tell me how good it was. Oh, okay. I'll meet you at the milkshake pool on the lesbian cloud. That's right, baby. You know it's going to be good. Me in a Star Wars movie, but it's not me.

It's an avatar. It's a robot. It's going to be fire. All right, I want to pivot to comedy. I just don't want to be 3PO. Don't make me 3PO. I love 3PO, but don't make me 3PO. Make me like that.

Zach and Donald are gay newlyweds in house arrest. Five, six, seven, eight. Stories about a show we made. About a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved me. I said, here's the stories that we all should know. I said he's got stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. All right, very funny episode, by the way.

You know, there's a big difference between NBC and ABC. It looks great, first of all. Go ahead. That's fine. But we got a little more wholesome on ABC. You think? NBC, we were like the dark indie. You know what I mean?

And we had like, you know. And now we're like this. And now we're a freaking, you know. I got to say, it looks good. We're a big studio film now. I got to say, it looks good. We're a big studio film now. And we started off as like a gorilla. Well, one aspect of that, and maybe you're thinking of also too subconsciously, is that it looks great. 16 by 9 and HD, finally.

It looks like it's really, the lighting in this episode was really pretty. And by the way, I know Sarah is supposed to look schlumpy, but how beautiful did she look the whole episode? Yeah, sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on she looked great i hate i hope that you don't take it wrong yeah what song is that that's drake you the fucking best you the fucking best you're the best i ever had best i ever had had had she looks so pretty i mean i i stopped myself a couple times to be like wow i know she's supposed to look like you know she's in her cookie pants and she's in sweat pants and she's got a bed head but she looked gorgeous when was the last time you ate a dozen cookies by the way i i have some cookies in my house and i i'm trying to lose weight and get thin and get in shape.

I just can't have them here, dude. I just can't have them here. What kind of cookies are they? They're gluten-free, homemade chocolate chip cookies, and they're thin. You know when the cookies are super thin? I like that. They're crunchy. And I think they were made in a pan, and then someone took a pizza cutter and cut them into squares.

This sounds delicious. I really related to this. I really related to this whole cookie thing because Sarah says right off the bat that she makes – sorry, let me get to it. She makes a dozen cookies, and she eats 1.5 cookies a day so that the last eight days. I can't do that. Just like JD, who ate them instantly,

and then he's in the fetal position on the couch. That's me. That's you too, Donald. I know. I'll fucking devour some cookies. I just can't do it. If you put peanut M&M's on my countertop

it's just they're not gonna last they're not gonna be there it just can't be in the can't be in the house can't be in the house I wanna go back to the yeah let's go to the

cold open alright yes great opening walk and talk with Cox and Kelso yeah it was

it was a one or four a bit and then they cut off into other things but great walk and talk. And so it opens up and we're in the hospital doesn't have a cheap of medicine and things are going crazy.

People are stealing things. People are doing whatever they want. As a matter of fact, the janitor is in the OR during surgery. Yes. And a Turk's like, get out of here. And he's like, let me just touch the heart.

Because there's no chief of medicine. Everyone's fucking running wild. Yeah. Also, one thing that was the pretending to have a phone in his ear. Yeah, that was funny.

So there were three callbacks in the cold open alone. The piano, you with the, JD with the piano playing I'm No Superman, and then it coming back. How did it come back again? When you break it out. That's right.

I run in and it goes. JD has a piano mat that Elliot has rigged by the door as a burglar alarm. I walk in and then I accidentally play I'm No Superman and I'm like, hmm, that's catchy. But that's not why she put it there. Yeah, as a burglar alarm. Right, Joelle? Yes. I thought JD put it there for that. No.

She put it down because she said she was afraid of burglars. She was at home cooking alone. Yeah. Right. That's right. So it wasn't for Turk. It was for burglars at home. But then, but then later they know the whole reason that JD, JD has a fantasy.

JD has a fantasy that Turk throws a gas bomb into the apartment, kills them both. Then has his gas mask on so he can steal the cookies. Right. And then he can't even wait to get out of the house. He takes his mask off too soon,

eats the cookie, and then dies himself and says, well, it was worth it. And so they're sleeping at night. Elliot and JD are sleeping at night in bed. And you hear a scale. And the scale goes off

and Elliot goes, oh my God, JD, someone's in the house. And you hear a scale. And the scale goes up and Elliot goes, oh my God, JD, someone's in the house. And JD yells, leave those cookies alone, Turk. But the funny part is that the scale goes up. And then it goes down when you get kicked out.

I laughed out loud when it goes, Turk, get out of here. Do-do-do-do-do. And then he's out. But then Turk really was there. He stole the cookies. He's outside eating the cookies. Which I don't think is good for your diabetes to eat a whole dozen cookies.

I don't know much. As a fake doctor. But I don't think. My stepfather has diabetes. And he was munching on. Have you seen any sweets? He was munching on desserts. was munching on desserts and he's got this little alarm that you know nowadays you have this thing on your side and then it warns your

phone if you're if your insulin levels are off that shit was beeping like hell on mother's day he was like i don't care i'm in it to win it no he knew what to do but he's devouring some cookies and you hear like okay this is what i beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Okay, this is what I don't understand. JD and Elliot are dating. They've been dating for a week. But they haven't had sex. They live together, but they're not banging? That's not realistic.

They say they're going to take it slow, but they're living together and back in love for a week and they haven't had sexual relations. She made him cookies, for God's sake. That would have been it. That's what happened. We would have been fucking right there. Oh, you made chocolate chip cookies? A word?

A word. You know what? I love you, girl. Yeah, I mean, it's not realistic. They're in bed together, together sleeping and they're a couple and they not to mention that they've had lots of sex before and they're not having sex but okay they say they're trying to take it slow okay so the piano was the first callback the second callback was the pretend phone yeah cox is walking in the hospital and he's acting like he's on the

phone so he doesn't have to talk to Kelso. He puts the phone away. Okay, I'll talk to you later. They walk and talk. Finally, Cox gets on Kelso's nerves, and Kelso takes out his pretend flip phone and says, oh, I got to take this, and walks away. Yeah. That's a callback. That was another callback.

And then the janitor trying to be the doctor. He's a doctor in the OR, and then as Cox walks walks by him he's still a doctor going someplace else yeah this was all in the first it was callback callback callback all in the first five minutes of the show yeah that was funny and it even starts it even starts with cox going wow he bought it back. Yeah. Acknowledging the... We should mention it was directed by Gail Mancuso, who's one of... I think she won an Emmy for Modern Family, at least one. She became one of the big Modern Family directors, but she was one of our favorite directors,

Gail Mancuso, and written by Clarence Livingston. My Cookie Pants, season eight. We're mispronouncing endoscopy the whole episode. Scrubs Wiki taught me, Donald. You don't say it, but every actor that says it is saying it wrong, which is not good for fake doctors. Real JD missed this. I think we say endoscopy, and it's endoscopy,

and we're doctors. I think everybody says endoscopy. Even doctors say, I'm going to go get an endoscopy, and it's endoscopy, and we're doctors. I think everybody says endoscopy. Even doctors say, I'm going to go get an endoscopy. Endoscopy, if you're curious, is the correct way to say it, and all the characters in this show who are doctors say it wrong. So real JD must have been. Tell Trevor I'm going to still say endoscopy when I'm on auditions and stuff. I feel like real JD must have been working on an actual heart that day.

Okay, so there's a lot going on. Joe is still being classic Joe, Denise, and she says that Mr. Lawton, who's a favorite patient of JD's, his heart disease is a buzzkill. So she's really just unrealistically horrible with her bedside manner. But she shows that she's starting to soften early on in the episode

with the pillow and stuff. I noticed that right away. She does use a pillow, which we're supposed to notice, but she's... I don't know. No offense to everyone who wrote this, but I just find it a little bit that she's cartoonishly rude. I don't know if she's cartoonishly rude.

More is she just doesn't want to connect with the patients and she uses this as, at least that's how I looked at it. She looked at it as a, this is her defense mechanism from doing that. Right. Well, we're going to get to that when she opens up to JD.

Cox is offered the chief of medicine position. He tells Jordan she's very excited. More money. She wants money. She wants the nanny to have a nanny, right? Yeah, so that she doesn't have to listen to the nanny's She doesn't want to have to talk

to the nanny. There's another episode where she says something about how the nanny's mother died and she's been avoiding her all day. So she doesn't have to console her. Jordan really has a big heart. Cox pretends to care about JD and Barbie being back together.

And JD's trying to convince himself not to fall for the trick. Don't believe him. But then he does. He convince himself not to fall for the trick. Don't believe him. But then he does. He's so happy to share. And we learn that Cox is just fucking with him. He doesn't care. Judy Reyes is not in this episode, as we know. She is not in this episode.

As we know, in season eight, everybody took at least one episode off. And Carla has left the country. And Elliot, in a very funny monologue, Sarah says, I know that you're... She's on the phone talking, leaving a message for Carla. And she says, I know that your aunt did not fall

out of that balloon on purpose. Yeah, I thought that was interesting that Carla was going through things that Elliot's character would go through. I know. So in the world of Scrubs, Carla went home. Without Turk. She took Izzy to Chicago.

Is it Chicago? That's where she's from. If she went home. She said she went out of the country, though. No, I think she went to Dominican Republic. So she went to the DR. For the last time, Turk, I'm Dominican. That's how I always remember what her ethnicity is.

But listen, in the world of scrubs, not in the fantasy, she's gone home to investigate her aunt falling out of a balloon and whether it was on purpose or accidental. But then she's like, but then Elliot gets upset at the answer machine because she knows that Carla would be giving her an attitude at that moment.

Right. Sarah's very funny in that. Yeah, very funny. And she's calling because she can't come up with a way to seduce JD that night. Right. She promised him a sexy sex night, crazy sex night. Right, because they haven't had sex. They're living together and they're not banging.

Oh, that's right. I forgot that piece of it. They haven't had sex. And if they're going to finally have sex, she wants to be really sexy and have it be particularly naughty. And she says that she got in a fight with her waxer. I don't know how she got in a fight with her waxer, but she did get in a fight with her waxer. And don't know how she got in a fight with her waxer, but she did get in a fight with her waxer.

And now she has a, quote, rash on her bajingo that looks like a thousand tiny splatter bites. So in this world, the waxer took revenge on Elliot for some conversation they had. She got mad at her and then hurt her bajingo. Is that possible? Like, i get it if you get like ingrowns so like i can't shave my face because i get like with a straight razor because i get ingrown so i have to shave it with uh you know clippers and stuff like that electric clippers

right if you get wax you usually don't have that problem right unless you get waxed, you usually don't have that problem, right? Unless you get waxed against the grain. Oh, and now we're learning. So you're telling me, Joelle, what you're saying is the waxer, because she was livid at Elliot, waxed her against the grain. That's what it sounds like. Oh, that sounds like it hurts. An inferior wax. Yeah, or maybe she mixed it.

An inferior wax. Okay, so an inferior, what what is it it breaks the hair off well you don't know it doesn't pull it all out it's not as like um so wax you have to reach a certain temperature when you're melting it you know what i mean in order for when you apply it that you get like a smooth rip off so if you only like partially melt and it's cool it's not going to give you the full rip effect. And so it'll leave residue on your skin and there'll be patchy hairs and stuff. I'm going to be honest with you.

Waxing sounds amazing up until the ripoff. It sounds like it's the best thing ever. If you have a good person doing it, it can be great. It's totally fine. It sounds like they put a warm massage with wax around your genitals and then out of nowhere. Yeah. I feel so bad for women that choose to do this, that they have to have that experience on their labia majora. When you develop a very close relationship with your waxer, it can be called, you know, it's just it's a whatever experience.

Donald, have you ever had anything waxed on your body? No, but I'm thinking about it. Do you think people wax their scrotums? Yes. Hell yeah. That must fucking hurt. You don't ever pull a hair out, like, from your balls or anything like that? Well, I do a little manscaping, but I don't do wax. That sounds horrible.

Have you ever just reached down into your pants, twisted your hair then pulled no why do you do that what why would you curiosity are you a masochist that would work if you want the denzel and glory tier you just pull out a scrotum hair you ever just say to somebody do you ever just say to somebody, give me a spanking? No, not me. What? Have you? Oh, okay.

Wait, Donald. No, not at all. And no problems if you do. I mean, that's great. No judgment. I just want to know your truth. Wait, Donald, I have a question. Would you ever get, for the podcast, would you consider getting your scrotum and taint and shaft waxed? No, because I get ingrowns.

But what if we did it live on the podcast for entertainment for the guests, for the listeners? Just a single strip. No, not video, just audio. Yeah. In the words of Randy Jackson, that's a no for me, dog. What about your anus? What about between your cheeks?

Yeah, that's a no for me, dog. All right. I was trying to make some good entertainment for the listeners. That's not entertainment. That's freaking torture. All you're saying is, look, what we want to do, y'all, is we're going to torture Donald, and we're going to laugh at this motherfucker getting all his hair ripped off. No, I would do it, too.

I would do it, too. I'm saying that for our listeners, because we love them so much, we could bring the Zoom recorder to a waxer and we'd both get our team balls. Zach, I've seen how hairy you are. I'm not that hairy. What are you talking about? In your crack area? No, no, what?

He just lifted his shirt. Okay. Somebody's working out. Somebody got tanned too. Good. Bro, I've been doing the cold plunge too. Cold plunge sauna, cold plunge sauna. Where are you doing that at?

At Andrew Watt's house. And you do 15 minutes in the sauna, two minutes in like 39 degree water, and then 15 minutes in the sauna, and then two minutes in the cold plunge again, and you feel so good. You feel high on life, and it also increases your metabolism

and has all these other benefits. Oh, shit. You want to join me? I'm going to try and – you can come sometime. I got up to two minutes, dude, in the water. That's great. You got to take your mind to a really zen place. You have to quiet your brain down, and you focus on your breath.

Remember Johnny C. was talking about it? Mm-hmm. I sent Johnny C. a video of my first attempt, and he just berated me. He's like, what the hell? I sent him a video, and I was panicked. It was my first time, and you panic the first time because it's tough. And he's like, what the hell are you doing? Who the hell is advising you?

It was like Cox. It was like Cox and JD. He was like, this is fucking ridiculous. Don't send me this shit. You got to come to my house, and I'm going to show you how to do it. And I was like, dude is fucking ridiculous. Don't send me this shit. You got to come to my house and I'm going to show you how to do it. And I was like,

dude, no notes on take one, bro. We should take a break. We'll be right back after these words. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day,

it's powerful. That's where The Bright Side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.

That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions. We'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions,

including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox. You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death.

He died of a brain tumor. It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty. Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair. That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out of a dead end. And many, many more.

Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of Dancing with the Stars since the very beginning. 26 seasons of the samba, the rumba and the cha-cha. 24 partners, 6 finals and 2 mirrorball trophies. She knows all the secrets, the behind the scenes arguments and the affairs, the flings, the flirting and the fighting. It's time to tell it all on her new podcast, Sex, Lies and Spray Tans. We'll take you all the way back

to season one and up through today for the dance floor drama like you wouldn't believe. Former partners, co-stars, friends and frenemies will join Cheryl each week.

Listen to Sex, Lies and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Eat these

bowls, Zach. Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, Back into the show, Scrubs. So Kelso warns Cox that it's not easy to be the chief of medicine. Yeah. Cox gets cold feet. Yes. Just before the act break. Yeah. And decides, you know what?

I don't want to do this anymore. I take it back. Yeah. He tells him, everyone's going to hate you. It's an extraordinary amount of work added to your already insane amount of work. Plus, you have a family. And also, the bonus, the cherry on top, is that everyone in this hospital will hate you. And Cox, who was really liking the idea and the honor and the status, I'm sure the raise of the position, totally gets cold feet.

Kelso gets in his head. raise of the position. Totally gets cold feet. Kelso gets in his head. The other thing that happens before the act break is that J.D. tells Joe that she's not a good doctor. Let's go back and say why he tells her this. Okay, sorry, you're right.

There's a whole thing about she orders an endoscopy, said correctly, on Mr. Lawton. And J.D.'s like, no, that's a very painful procedure. The man's totally what the hell's wrong with you? And sheoscopy, said correctly, on Mr. Lawton. And J.D.'s like, no, that's a very painful procedure. The man's totally, what the hell's wrong with you? And she's like, who cares if it causes him pain? We got to do the fucking test kind of attitude.

And J.D.'s like, that's not my vibe. I like the guy, and I don't want to hurt him. And he really gives it to her, fucking rails into her and says, if you can't fucking learn to do it. Well, she goes and does it anyway. Yes. He says, i don't want you to do it and she does it anyway right and then he steps to her and says some pretty harsh things yeah and it's about to it's about to he's he's telling her you're going to regret this day that you crossed me. You should have, you know, he's giving her the whole monologue about, you know, about how he's right and she's wrong for doing what she's done. And someone comes up to Denise and says, you know, good catch with the endoscopy.

That was a smart thing to do there. Endoscopy, yeah. Right. Like I said, endoscopy. thing to do there. Endoscopy, yeah. Right. Like I said, endoscopy. And J.D. has to eat a crow. Yes.

He does. And he is very... He's very apologetic. He's very... Did he get to what? Well, did you get to the part where she realizes that she has stomach cancer yeah well that's the when the end just and and that's into shit now i'm confused you just hit you you just

hit dos endoscopy and when the endoscopy uh this fucking guy this fucking guy what you trying to get into one day soon what? What you trying to do? Well, it reveals that the man has cancer, stomach cancer. So Joe actually saved his fucking life. And J.D. looks like an idiot because, you know, he really was being too sensitive. He was looking out for the man's feelings as opposed to doing the correct by the book test. So, so Joe's hardness, her, her coldness, I should say, actually ended up saving this man's life because, you know, she's the polar opposite of JD. And, and in the, in the end, he'll admit that,

that they both actually could learn something from one another. that they both actually could learn something from one another. And Elliot has now recruited Turk to help her with her... Sexy night. Yeah, I guess that's the way to put it with JD. But I was thinking, though, when I watched it, I was like, well, who else would she go to? Who else is going to know JD? I know, but it is funny when she's like,

help me plan, what would JD want for his sexiest night? But don't you think Turk would know that? Turk tries to walk away. Turk would know that right away. You wouldn't know what I would want for my sexiest night? I'm sure for your sexiest night, Zach? Yeah, you probably could figure it out. Come on, bro.

You probably could figure it out. Come on, bro. All right, don't talk about it. Okay, yeah, I'm not going to say shit. I'm not going to say nothing. All I would want is this. Eat these bowls, bro. All right, don't talk about it. Okay, yeah, I'm not going to say shit. I'm not going to say nothing, Zach. All I'm going to want is this. Eat these bowls, Zach. Oh, my way.

How funny is it? This is the hardest I laughed this whole episode, when the janitor's talking about his grandpa and how his grandpa said to him, he said, quote, janitor. So the janitor's grandpa calls him janitor. Yeah. Called him janitor. When he was a kid.

Well, he calls him janitor because he's not dead yet. He's upstairs. That's funny, too. But he goes, Janitor. Oh, no, I think that's his dad that's upstairs. Yeah. Janitor. This is his grandpa.

Janitor. No, it's his dad. It's his grandpa. That's upstairs. He's not dead. Yeah, he's not dead. Wow. Neil Flynn's grandpa's alive.

That's got to be an older fella. In the show. Okay. No, I'm saying that Janitor's grandfather is probably up there. not dead wow neil flynn's grandpa's alive that's a that's gotta be an older fellow show okay no i'm saying the janitor's grandfather is probably up there the janitor's grandfather isn't in the building that dude is dead man he's making his shit up oh okay got it come on bro guys i forgot i forgot i forgot all right so wait so anyway the pointannert, every time an angry woman storms out, another one storms in. And he shows that. He establishes that. And yeah. And then he says, and of course, Jordan walks in super pissed off.

And Jannert's proud of himself. And he says, that one's for you, Pop-Pop. And he points to the sky, meaning heaven. And then he says to JD, I believe, he's not dead. He's upstairs. Dying. I love that there's a freaking Rocky III moment. What's that?

When Jordan steps to Cox and gives him the pep talk. There's that one. And then also when Kelso steps to Cox also, and he has to admit that he's afraid. Yeah. That's Rocky like a mother, Rocky III. He's dodging around all of these reasons why he doesn't want to do it. I want to be liked.

I want all of this stuff. I don't want all of this stuff. I don't want this. I don't want this. Well, what is it? We've got this. We've got this. We've got this.

But what we don't have, Rock, is we don't have the truth. I'm afraid. You want to hear me say it I'm afraid that's Rocky 3 Rocky 3 uh well there you go and that's what Cox has yeah he's afraid he's not it's not it has nothing to do with anything else it has nothing to do with the fact that the money is more it has nothing to do with the fact that he's not competent it has nothing to do with the fact that people are going to hate him it has nothing to do with any of that he's not competent. It has nothing to do with the fact that people are going to hate him. It has nothing to do with any of that. It has for everybody who makes excuses when success is at the front door and you're scared to fucking open it.

And he's having that moment that we all have. And he's lucky to have, that's what's great about television is that he's lucky to have people around him that'll support him and make sure that he doesn't fall on his face when he starts this big adventure. And it's really fucking, it's really, that's, in watching the show, I was like, wow, would Scrubs have done it like this before? Like, how would have we gotten all the way to here before? Because this way it seemed really wholesome, you know what I mean? And it seemed wrapped up in a nice little bow and everything like that and we've and and before we got to abc it felt like on nbc nothing was ever wrapped up in a in a nice little bow i disagree with you there were so many

nice sweet wrapped up bows at the end of it but it always in there was always some form of tragedy in in order to get to that you know what i mean and this one the dude doesn't die he has stomach cancer you've guys caught it you know what i mean uh we don't know if he lives we we diagnosed as of as of right now he's alive uh cox got the job everything's pretty hunky-dory you come home to a perfect night you're going too fast so jd has an intervention with joe or at least a heart to heart and he calls her the mayor of crazy town and she she says stop doing that i you know she finally kind of again i guess in your analogy has a bit of a rocky moment and she says, I want to be pushed to be better. Stop, stop. You know, she said, I don't, I'm very good at the nuts and bolts. I know how to diagnose. I know how

to, to do the science. I just don't, I don't feel comfortable with the bedside manner. And I'm, and I don't want you to stop pushing me. She finally blurts out and JD points out in a, in a really sweet montage that every doctor has their flaws. Cox is, is getting in his, is constantly getting his own way. Elliot and we cut to him doing that. Elliot is fighting all of her neurosis and we see her doing that. And JD says that, you know, he, he wants to, he wanted to spare a patient,

that he wanted to spare a patient a painful procedure that actually ended up diagnosing him with cancer that could save his life. So he cares too much. And then she says, I'm kind of the dude and you're the chick or something like that. Yeah, that's what she says, yes. And he goes, I'm not really getting that simile, Joe. At least we see a glimmer that Joe is going to maybe turn the corner. I mean, spoiler alert, she'll be back season nine. Yeah.

What about the Todd thing? Elliot is knocking on the door of the operating room, and Todd says, if it doesn't hurt you, you're not doing it right? Yeah. Meaning about sex. I don't know what that means, but I guess Todd doesn't have sex that doesn't hurt. I mean, it hurts so good. Wait, hold on.

It hurts so good sounds like that's a term that's used all the time, isn't it? Oh, it hurts so good. I know, but Todd. That's what Kelly LeBrock says in Weird Science. We learned one more thing about Todd in that he doesn't feel sexually satisfied unless he's in pain. This must be a lot of hair pulling.

Or maybe... You know those... People put those clamps on nipples? I bet Todd's into that. No judgment, Todd. No judgment. Okay, now, I got to tell you, I got goosebumps. If you're going to put on Josh Radin's song, I'd rather be with you.

I need to be bold. I need to jump in the cold. No, I need to. I want to be bold. I need to jump in the cold. I want to grow older with a girl like you. Daniel, will you remind me? Let's put that song at the end of the show,

since Josh Radin will allow us to. No problem. And I'll do one of my old school talk-ups to it. Is that the expression, Daniel, a talk-up? Yeah, talking up to the end. Yeah, remind me to talk up the Josh Radin song. I haven't talked up a song in so long, Daniel. Excited.

So Cox is Afraid uh we covered that um Kelso has to oh that was sweet so the combination of Josh Raiden's song and Kelso telling Cox that he's the one who recommended him that gave me like full body goosebumps I thought that was so sweet yeah you know what and and you that was the one thing I did see coming. I knew, and for some reason, maybe it's because the way it played out, I saw that coming. I was the one that freaking, I'm the one that put the recommendation in. I'm the one that said you could do this. I saw that coming. What I didn't see coming was him trying to deter him from taking the job.

I didn't see that coming. I saw, I skipped all of the middle part and jumped right to the end. You know what I mean? Well, and also we reveal that they're kind of becoming friends, which is a sweet moment when Cox is declared the new chief and Jordan is so happy and they hug, and then you pull out to reveal that Kelso's trying to join the hug, which was like a very JD thing.

Too soon. Yeah, it's too soon. And also, yeah. We find out Turk cries during sex. Yeah, we do. I skipped that. Yeah, you, that's what sets up. Not me.

Turk. Have you ever cried during sex? There's no shame in climaxing, Donald. No, I've never cried during sex. To quote the TV show Scrubs, there's no shame in climaxing no no i've never cried during sex to quote the tv show scrubs there's no shame in climaxing look let's put that well i'm put this right there right now if i'm having sex with somebody and they start crying i'm gonna stop having sex with them no i think i think the implication that's 100 no i think in this the show car Carla reports that you cry from probably just

being in love, or you cry from you know, you're so moved that you climax. That's what sets the Todd up to say what happens is Elliot yells through the operating room window,

Carla says that you cry sometimes, and then you're embarrassed, and then Todd says... Not me. through the operating room window, Carlos says that you cry sometimes. And then you're embarrassed. And then Todd says- No, not me, Turk. Not me, Turk. And then Turk's embarrassed. Oh my God, shut up. Turk's embarrassed.

And then Todd says, if it doesn't hurt, you're not doing it right. Oh my God. I love Rob Macchio. He's the man. So do I. I miss that guy. We have a special guest, Joelle, right?

We do have a guest. I don't know if they're here yet. Okay. You see the outtakes with Neil at the end of the show? No, what happened? He does the whole pop pop speech. He goes, he's not upstairs. Yeah, he's not.

He's not. He's upstairs. He does one like that. And he goes, he's not dead. Yeah, he's not. He's not. He's upstairs. He does one like that. He goes, he's not dead. He's upstairs on the roof. They chose the best one, I'll bet, because he's not dead. He's upstairs. Long pause.

Dying. Dying, yeah. I'll read it some more trivia for you. The amount of sugar in the cookies Turk stole would likely harm him pretty bad due to his diabetes. Mr. Cookie Pants was the name of the puppet owned by Dr. David Norris in the episode,

My White Whale. It's Chris Maloney, right? Chris Maloney? Yes, Chris Maloney. Chris Maloney, that's who it is.

Dr. Kelso says he's been rocking his muffin slacks since he retired, even though he had never before been seen wearing them. And we've seen him after he's retired. So that's what Scrubs Wiki has to say about this episode. Oh, and our friend Aaron, who was a background person for many, many, many episodes, plays Nurse Papson, the one who comes and says, good catch. Aaron got a line. Aaron is in many, many, many episodes of Scrubs and was and is a very nice woman. All right, we're going to take a break. And when we come back,

we have a special guest for you. You're going to be very excited. I'm so excited. But fuck your sound effects machine. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where The Bright Side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce.

Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox. You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death. He died of a brain tumor. It's part of what happens when your kid dies.

Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty. Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair. That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out of a dead end. And many, many more. Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.

Seven questions, limitless answers. Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of Dancing with The Stars since the very beginning 26 seasons of the samba the rumba and the cha-cha 24 partners six finals and two mirror ball trophies she knows all the secrets the behind the scenes arguments and the affairs the flings the flirting and the fighting it's time to it all on her new podcast, Sex, Lies and Spray Tans. We'll take you all the way back to season one

and up through today for the dance floor drama like you wouldn't believe. Former partners, co-stars, friends and frenemies will join Cheryl each week. Listen to Sex, Lies and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.

And we're back in My Best Oprah. Do you know how many people, babies, that were latching just unlatched well if they unlatched they unlatched with a smile on their face because they know um are you um are you sitting back are you playing zelda i am not playing zelda yet daniel how's zelda incredible it's your favorite game it's really up there it's really really, really up there. They made Breath of the Wild even better, which is hard to imagine. Oh, that's great. That's incredible. The bar was so high.

It's incredible. And now I'm about to go smoke a blunt and fucking play Zelda. Oh, really? I hope you enjoy. I hope you enjoy. Are you going to pair the blunt with Zelda? Well, I'm going to pair the bong hit with Zelda. I take that back.

I'm going to go smoke. I'm going to do a bong hit and go play Zelda. Enjoy. OK. Hopefully my kids don't get home from school the bong hit with zelda i take that okay i'm gonna go i'm gonna do a bong hit right play zelda enjoy okay um hopefully my kids don't get home from school before i uh they ruin all your fun they fucking take all of the fun out of everything don't they what a great advertisement for having children you want to get high don't have kids my friend was over uh uh yesterday and i was just tossing my dog's favorite toy in the pool and the dog was leaping into the pool and swimming and it was so fun and and he is a very young child and i said this is it right this is what being a parent is right you just toss the ball and they jump in

the water and smile and he's like yeah it's just that easy he's like he's like have you ever been up at 4 45 do you know what 445 a.m. looks like? Ladies and gentlemen, a very special guest, Dr. Brick, a.k.a. Dr. Penis. Let him in. Dr. Penis, everybody. There he is. What up? Dr. Darren Brick. let me ask you a question

Brick is a great name for a penis doctor I'm just going to put it out there will you welcome the man in before you make a sex joke I'm just saying hey Dr. Darren Brick love your name

Dr. Brick thanks for coming back name. Hey, hey. How's it going? Thank you. Dr. Brick, thanks for coming back on. You know, I was thinking, I was told, Joel, that I was thinking, like, you were so valuable to the podcast last time you came on, and I think we should, I'm sure not everyone heard that episode, and we should have you back on because, you know, men need to get their shit checked out, their prostates and everything, and we could do a public service here on Fake Doctors

and remind men to get their prostates checked. Now, you just got your prostate checked, right, Zach? I'm having some prostate issues, too, and that's probably what inspired me to have you on. I actually, like Donald, anything that happens to me, I think I'm dying and I have cancer. And I think I've been diagnosed with prostatitis, which means with no infection or anything,

the doctor just told me I just have to, it's all stress related. He said very, people with stress and people who do tons of stuff and are, he said med students get it all the time that you can get an inflammation in the prostate. Can you weigh in on this? I don't have any infection.

He tested for that. Good, yeah. I mean, that would be the first thing. I actually wrote a review paper on chronic prostatitis, chronic pelvic pain in men. Oh, you're the perfect person for this. Yeah. Before you answer, I just wanted to say to men, I also wanted to just share, I want to talk about prostate cancer and making sure men get checked, but I also want to do a public service for our audience because I bet there's a lot of men out there who have felt this feeling. And the feeling is that you always have to pee. And I, of course, went to, oh, my God, I have some sort of tumor and I'm dying. But when I got it checked out, I believe I have a chronic prostatitis after a lot of going to a lot of doctors.

But I thought that you could maybe speak to people about what are the symptoms of this and what the hell you can do, because it doesn't seem to me like you can do much. For sure. There are things that you can do that have successful treatment outcomes, which I'm happy to talk about. I think to start, I'll say men in general are loathe to go to doctors for not just urologists, you know, primary care, mental health, everything else in between. And, you know, I think there's some sort of manliness that people think, or you're too busy, you know, or you make an appointment and a doctor's appointment is six months into the future. And it's like, who can even think that far into the future because doctors, you know, the schedules are so packed. But it's super important. There's no

reason to suffer. You know, even the you're not you don't have cancer, but even quality of life issues, things that we that I manage specifically are mostly quality of life, erectile dysfunction, penile curvature, low testosterone, none of those things are necessarily going to kill you. But, you know, they make your life better if you can treat them. From a chronic pelvic pain, chronic prostatitis, I, you know, I see it in a lot of young people who've been treated with antibiotics for years. And turns out you don't really have an infection, your urinary symptoms, you know, the first thing we would want to do is get your history and see there can be behavioral things that you're doing drinking drinking a lot of liquids in general make you pee more but drinking alcohol a lot of alcohol specifically a lot of coffee coffee or caffeinated

beverages really can irritate the bladder so even even like two cups a day i would say two is probably because i cut booze i cut booze already you can do you two cups a day? I would say two is probably. Because I cut booze. I cut booze already. You can do two cups a day will send you to the bathroom too. That's real talk. Yeah, no. No, no, no, no. He's not talking about, he's talking about the irritation of the prostate being caused

by caffeine, right? But then, and more of the bladder, you know, because the bladder and prostate are in proximity. You know, like constipation can also cause it because the rectum is right behind that. So patients have issues with constipation, we manage that. So these, the first things we usually talk about are behavioral stuff that you can do that have no risk and minimal cost and probably boost your health if you're, you know, cutting down. What about ejaculation? Because I was told that ejaculating often helps it. ejaculation because i was told that ejaculating often helps it and and and don't you ruin this for me doc don't you ruin this for me donald's gonna go tell casey that he has prostatitis so don't fuck this up you can't hurt it but the problem there are a lot of people who have

this chronic prostatitis who when they ejaculate have severe pain so and that's one of the symptoms and that sucks you know if it's gonna i don't, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know that God willing. Yeah. Thank God. Yeah. So from, for, for chronic prostatitis, there's no one treatment, like take this pill, do this thing and you'll feel better. It's more based on the symptoms that you have. So for instance, if you have, you know, um, if you have pain in the like suprapubic perineum like between the balls and anus or ball pain or like groin pain that kind of thing um there are so many pelvic muscles that have to work in conjunction to help you pee to help you ejaculate to help you have bowel movement that they can get over active and cause a lot of pain, cause difficulty urinating,

cause difficulty pooping and, um, you know, and, and other urinary issues. So the first thing that we usually recommend is, um, pelvic floor physical therapy, or even you can look on YouTube and Google to have like pelvic floor relaxation techniques. That has a lot of good data behind it. Do you agree with my doctor that this is often brought on by stress? Yeah, that was going to be my second thing was there's, you know, if all the thing about these symptoms is that eventually they pass if they didn't. then all of these young people, men and women, also have chronic pelvic pain related to stress and mental health issues and other kind of just pelvic floor issues. But if these didn't get better, then that would be the only thing we'd see in our office these days. goes to say that you know people who have severe stress if they're a medical student for instance and they're going through their tough rotations and they have chronic pelvic pain after a while

once they either manage their um stress depression anxiety though that can also help so seeing a mental health professional yeah i got that potentially for yeah that was a great episode the other thing he recommended was a prostate massage and i didn't really uh notice any benefits from it yeah i wouldn't necessarily you know urologist primary care doc whoever was that you saw like that's not necessarily our area of expertise but pelvic floor physical therapists that i don't i'm actually not i've never actually seen what they do but i've sent many patients to them and it's like any physical therapy with any other muscle or joint. What do you do? What's the, what are you tight?

Like what do you use? Like a Kegel? Like a woman does? It's the opposite of Kegels actually. So if you're doing Kegels, I would, I would, cause Kegels are all about like contracting those muscles to hold in. Okay. And that's, what's causing the problem.

It's all about relaxation technique so i think it's it's massage um and these people these these physical therapists are well trained in managing this um oh they this this prostatitis and specifically yeah yeah i i think the the medical term that we use is for urologists is chronic prostatitis slash chronic pelvic pain in men and you want to obviously rule out infection that's what your doctor did some people will have had antibiotics like yeah the pain goes away when i take antibiotics but then it comes back but there's probably a placebo i think it's a placebo everything yeah um so it's that it's mental health um management then there's always there are

medications if you're having difficulty peeing you know as men get older prostate gets bigger can get in the way and flow max there's one called flow max right yeah flow max is a classic obviously there are side effects to all medications and don't take it without being prescribed by your doctor. Yes. Of course. We want to say that. I have,

I have a question. Yes. Go ahead. No, we can switch off price. Thank you for answering that Donald. Your question for Dr. Your question for Dr.

Penis. Go ahead. My question for you. I have a couple of questions. My first question is can chronic masturbation cause decent, decent citation in penis? No, I don't think desensitization is a word. What's the word? Desensitization in penis no i don't think desensitization is a word what's the

desensitization no there's ways to masturbate to like in a behavioral way to learn how to last longer edging that kind of thing but edging he recommended he just prescribed edging yeah that's how you get it ready. Yeah, exactly. When I'm about to hit the stage, when I'm about to hit the stage, I can't go out there. I can't go out there normal. I got to edge it a little bit. Dr. Penis, let's say there was a theoretical 50-year-old man whose libido was only increasing. Is that normal?

I think so i think you know the there's all these talks of testosterone getting lower as you get older but i mean first of all that's on the population size we're talking about in person so here's here's a question can if you over met can you over masturbate to the point where it it's tired in a day like at a time and like i think yeah i think no like in a matter of time like let's say when you masturbate when nothing comes out when like let's say hold on hold on hold on let's say you've masturbated for like a year every day two to three maybe four times a day i'm not saying this is me i'm saying let's say you did yeah right curiosity i'm just asking for a friend for a friend is there a possibility is it possible that your penis just is like i can't fuck with you no more i don't think so but i think that

you would be how it would be hard to then orgasm without the thing that you're masturbating with hard to then orgasm without the thing that you're masturbating with which i think tends to happen and there's in in people in general like you're masturbating in i don't know a certain way with a certain lotion but then when you're trying to have penetrative intercourse with someone else it's not the same not the same that's that's that's what i was wondering. Because you hear about young adults now who are so into porn and stuff like that, and all of a sudden sex isn't as enjoyable because they've masturbated for so long. This is real? real? Yeah, I've heard of these things as well. I was just at a sexual medicine conference and there was a whole talk on pornography and that kind of thing and what we can do about it. Nothing. Don't do anything. Don't do anything. Erectile dysfunction in young men, how if healthy guys, possibly related to stress, anxiety, but also possibly related to that. So can you complete this debate for us?

We were having a little debate on the last episode that there are certain types of penis doctors. Yes. There's the shaft doctor. There's the tip doctor. There's the ball doctor. There's the tank doctor. And I told him that you urologists are in charge of tip

all the way through your urinary tract, balls, shaft, taint, everything, right? Yeah. Are there people that just specialize in- In taint, in taint. And do they have limited work? You'd be surprised. People who are super specialized. No, but urologists cover from the kidneys where the urine drains, like the ureter, the bladder, and really next to the kidneys too.

Like the adrenal gland and whatever else is in that area. And bladder, prostate, and then all genitals. So male and female genitals. Not the liver though. Oh, I have a question. But doesn't that have some, like the kidneys filter also, but doesn't the liver filter water and all that stuff as well kidneys do they filter the blood and make the urine liver has uh with alcohol and they also have other kind of medications and foods doctor you cover women or does a gynecologist cover this aspect of women's health we overlap in so gynecologists

deal with childbirth and cancers of the gynecologic tract but there are also urogynecologists who deal with urinary issues for women but there are also female urologists who deal with urinary issues for women and we often work in conjunction or at one hospital they may have a urogynecologist at another hospital they have a female urologist um but they'll end up dealing with like overactive bladder female incontinence other kind of urinary issues um under the female side but also women have kidney stones women get bladder cancer so i see women as well but to talk about specializing there are like i'm completing a men's health fellowship so that deals with all of men's health so everything with the penis scrotum testicles urethra prostate but you know and so is there a way to grow

you asked him this last time. Stop. I was hoping for a different answer. No, he's got the same answer. Doc, let's get serious. Do you recommend waxing your balls? Is there any benefits to waxing one's balls? To get the hair off? Yeah.

I mean, do whatever you want. Okay, because we were going to do a special episode where Donald gets his. We were going to do a special episode where Zach was gets his way yeah we were going to do it we were going to do a special episode where zach was going to where donald gets his okay uh jokes aside i do want to do one bit of perfect public service announcement last time you were on we did this we want to convince men that they should definitely have their prostate examined for cancer i know a lot of men avoid this because it doesn't sound um pleasurable um but it must be done. Doc, will you just speak to our audience a little bit about the age and that they should start doing it?

And is it every year? And what's the doctor looking for? Yes. In regards to prostate cancer, it's usually in middle-aged men who are healthy. So really from the ages 55 to 70 are the main time frame where you'd want to get checked. If you're checked a little earlier with a PSA, which is a blood test that helps to see your risk of prostate cancer. But it's not a perfect test, it can be elevated for a number of other non cancer related reasons, which is why seeing a doctor and talking about your risk of

prostate cancer, if you had a family history, if you talking about your risk of prostate cancer, if you had a family history, if you have other cancer risk in your family, or you're curious and want to get checked, it's worthwhile to check. And at the same time as doing that blood test, the PSA, often you'll have a prostate exam, which is a finger in the butt, feeling the prostate, feeling for abnormalities. What's interesting is I've been getting prostate exams since I was in my 30s. I'm in my 40s now.

And it was by choice. You know what I mean? I didn't necessarily want the fingers in my butt, but, you know. You're nervous. I'm thorough. Like, for real, i try to be as thorough as possible you know what i mean and that doesn't but that doesn't mean that that's the other crazy thing so like here's the other thing like you could go years and years and years and you're

going to the doctor every year or every six months and then all of a sudden out of nowhere shit just shows up that's how it works yeah but that's the thing about prostate cancer because a lot of our guidelines these days are doing like it's important to be checked but maybe every year is too much maybe every year causes too much anxiety there's the opposite effect of you're having anxiety to get checked but if you get checked too much you know you're really um is there a benefit so i think some some docs would say right you're 55 you had yourA, it's quote unquote normal or low. We'll check it again next year. If it's the same, then maybe we check it in two years.

I thought the, excuse me, doctor, I thought the age to start checking was younger than you're recommending. So for colonoscopy. I think you're thinking colonoscopy, man. That dropped tremendously. Oh, that's what Chadwick Boseman had, right? Colon cancer. Okay, so what is your recommendation for when men should start getting prostate exams for prostate cancer annually? I would say if you have no cancer risk and you want to follow what our guidelines are 55 and you're otherwise healthy like you're

not going to die within five years because there are if that's the case then prostate cancer the thing about prostate cancer is it's very slow growing so people can you know a lot of people die like prostate cancer is a top killer of men in regards to cancer but there are a lot of people who have prostate cancer who die from something else because they could have something that is clinically insignificant so you have to weigh the risks and benefits of screening and treating i don't understand why i mean this is granted from a hypochondriac who's not a doctor i don't understand the problem you're going for your annual physical you're 47 48 years old why not say oh and please check my prostate insurance baby no yeah no but there's

a benefit he doesn't charge more to put his finger inside you well look i got my colonoscopy early and and i did i did i he was like well you know you're only 42 43 you know it's supposed to be 45 but we'll see but that involves putting you under in a whole thing this is just a finger in your butt what is i don't understand the difference between people under and stuff like that colonoscopy is they're looking colonoscopy is they put you to sleep they look through your whole colon the large intestine um for cancer prostate exam is the prostate is right in front of the rectum so if you put your finger in you can feel part of the prostate not all of it so that's why it's part of the test if it if it's positive that's concerning we would say

you should probably have a biopsy if it's negative then we say you know it's reassuring but doesn't doesn't tell us the whole story that's why you have the the psa there's a whole algorithm of oh so what you're saying uh screen for these things. But you're saying that you can, what you're digitally feeling is not the whole picture, right? You're only, it's like a peach, right? And you're only like feeling like a portion of the peach.

What if my cancer is on the other side of the peach, doc? That's the point. But it tends to be the part that you're feeling is the part that has cancer most of the time. So which is why it's become that way.

What I would say is, you know, you're 47, you go into the doctor and you say, hey, like, I'm curious about this. What do you know, doctor will tell you risks and benefits of treatment, and you may get a PSA. And maybe if your PSA is super low, that bodes well for your future. Hey, you don't need another one for until you're, you know, for five years, because, and, but if you get one at 47, and it's higher than what it should be for a 47 year old, again, there are ranges when you look at your labs, for certain tests, it will tell you what's normal, but it's not always normal, abnormal, it may depend on what your age is, which is kind of like for this. And then we may say, all right, you're only 47, we got your PSA, It's a little high. Let's check it again in a year. Steve.

Got it. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where the bright side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce.

Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions,

we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.

You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney.

I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death. He died of a brain tumor. It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty.

Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair fair that personal disaster wrote guyville so everything comes out of a dead end and many many more join me on season three of many questions on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of Dancing with the Stars since the very beginning. 26 seasons of the samba, the rumba, and the cha-cha. 24 partners, six finals, and two Mirrorball trophies. She knows all the secrets, the behind the scenes arguments

and the affairs, the flings, the flirting and the fighting. It's time to tell it all on her new podcast, Sex, Lies and Spray Tans. We'll take you all the way back to season one and up through today for the dance floor drama like you wouldn't believe. Former partners, co-stars, friends, and frenemies will join Cheryl each week.

Listen to Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We watch your wizard and download. I have another question. One more question. Yeah. We have to let the doctor go.

Yeah, but with... He's got taints to check. What I'm finding is that with age, I have another question. One more question. Yeah. So let the doctor go. Yeah. But with, he's got taints to check. What I'm finding is that with age, you have more of a chance of, you know, getting, you know, diseases and stuff like that as you get older.

Right. Is it because, okay. So my question is, is it because of you've lived longer or is it because your body all of a sudden now doesn't, you know what I mean? The longer you live, you know what i mean the longer you live yeah

you know what i mean the longer you live the more the more possibilities of things are going to happen to you yeah right is that the case or is it the case of as you get older your immune system your body breaks down and so therefore there's a possibility of these things coming through you know what i mean that's that's a really good question that i definitely don't have the like expertise on aging to know but what i would imagine it's a combination because in the first thing there your cells are constantly regenerating constantly regenerating and when there are mistakes that are made when they divide there are other cells that are like saying like no you're mutated like you're dead right but then but then there are some that then get through and that's when cancer forms

and my what i imagine is that over time maybe that risk increases or it's happened so much that something the cells that you know that monitor those things aren't working as well. And your risk of getting X, Y, and Z cancer increases. And then on top of that, your body, yeah, just starts to break down. It's crazy. I think aging is, it makes no sense. And people, there is so much out there on all these theories of how to decrease aging, how to improve memory, diets, certain medications, like reusing them from one that were made for one thing to do for another thing. It's like, there's so much we know in medicine, and there's still so much more, even more that we don't know. And that one i think is is a mystery yeah that's that is a mystery i want to thank you dr brooke for your time uh i i really i really uh hope uh joking aside that uh even if this gets a handful of people to make

sure they get checked uh we'll have made a difference so yeah so thank you so much for you know i'm so happy to be here. We really appreciate when you come on, as much as we like to joke around and stuff and get all of the dick jokes out of the way. It gets silly sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. But we really do appreciate it

because you do have a lot of information that a lot of people out there need to hear. Yeah, and I don't think a lot of men ask these questions. Donald and I are both a bit of hypochondriacs who are blessed to have good insurance, so we can bother our doctors. And we've got a podcast where we have doctors that want to come on. And we were also on a doctor's show for a decade. But a lot of people aren't in this situation.

So I wanted to provide, hopefully, a public service and just educate people a little bit who need to hear it. Yeah. Well, I'll say just two things. First of all, i love doing this when my i love being on with you guys but i love answering medical questions when my friends and family ask medical questions and apologize and like this is not there's nothing to apologize for this is what i'm good at this is what i i do for a living and i enjoy it um so it's a pleasure to be here and I love spending time with you guys. And the second thing is

today is actually my wife's birthday. Happy birthday, Amanda. And I wanted to just give her a shout out and tell her how much I love her and she's the best. Wow. You're such a sweet... Amanda, what a catch you got here.

I mean, the guy's handsome. He knows everything about a taint there is to know. I'm just saying, he looks at penises all day and comes home to you. Yes. He doesn't choose any of those. He passes by all those penises.

Think about it. He walks by all those dicks and comes home to you. And comes home to you. To you. All right. to you. To you. All right. Thank you, Dr. Brick. Thanks so much. Thank you, Daniel.

Love you. Joelle, you're the best. Hope you guys have a beautiful week. Audience, we love you. What about me, bro? I'm getting to you. I'm saving the best for last. No, because you're going to end.

Okay, yeah. You're messing up the talk up. I don't know how long his fucking preamble is. Dan will make it right. I love you. You're my best friend. I love your smile. I love your touch.

I love your teeth. I love your touch. Oh, and lastly, before we go, don't forget, if you're in Seattle on June 10th, we are doing our first ever live show at the Moore Theater. Get tickets at Ticketmaster.com and just put in fake doctors, real friends to find your tickets now. Come join us at the Moore Theater on June 10th in Seattle. There's only a few left.

Hurry up. Hurry up, y'all. Okay, everybody. Thanks for tuning in for the show. And this is Josh Radin with I'd Rather Be With You. Sitting here on this lonely dock. with I'd Rather Be With You. Thank you. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.

This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist, and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. So in this podcast, I'm going to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career. I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer, the ups and the downs, everything that I've learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride. So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers, and so many other fascinating people, like jazz bassist Christian McBride. Jazz is based on improvisation, but there's very much a form to it. You have a conversation based on that melody and those chord changes.

So it's kind of like giving someone a topic and say, okay, talk about this. Listen to the new season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.