Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 807: My New Role

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

On this week's episode, Dr. Cox struggles to adapt to his new role as Chief of Medicine. In the real world, we're luke warm on this episode, but we're all about the hot goss coming out of Laverne's above ground pool party. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. So in this podcast, I'm going to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career. I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer, the ups and the downs, everything that I've learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride. So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policy makers, and so many other fascinating people like jazz bassist Christian McBride. Jazz is based on improvisation,

but there's very much a form to it. You have a conversation based on that melody and those chord changes. So it's kind of like giving someone a topic and say, okay, talk about this. Listen to the new season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, friend. You sure you don't want to start it with me screaming? Yeah, I don't think that's like people are tuning in, they're excited to hear, and someone yells in their ear.

I don't think it's the best way to begin the program. Okay, well, shit, my bad. I'm sorry. Yeah, give them some warm, dulcet tones, low volume. Hello, how are you this evening? Yeah, that's what I want. It's not even evening, it's the morning. Hello.

Well, in your room, I wish the audience could see. It's Donald records with all his curtains closed in his sort of man cave. Yes, hold on. And it looks like it's midnight, but it's actually 10 a.m. That's true. Earlier than we usually record. What are we doing up so early, guys? I have to go somewhere.

So we are doing this early. Thank you for accommodating me. We don't have Joelle today. Daniel, will you be able to fulfill all of Joelle's duties? I will do my best. Will you be as charming and funny and witty as she is? You know what? I truly cannot make that promise.

That is a mountain I do not know if I'll be able to ascend. But again, I will do my best. Will you laugh at our dumb jokes like Joelle does? Of course. All right, good. Speaking of dumb jokes, speaking of dumb jokes like joelle does of course all right good speaking of dumb jokes speaking of dumb jokes could ai ever go after like directing gigs um i don't i don't think so i don't see how yet why but what if ai could what if ai could like

it was like evie from small wonder donald and it was like racist what's your motivation donald could you do that scene again this time blacker so in this situation for those you don't know small wonder was a sitcom about a robot child and you're saying if the small robot child became an ai filmmaker yes and was racist and it was racist okay i'm following you i may be the only person on earth that's following you but i got it oh hell yeah uh that was great and then somebody like talks to her like you can't just be like donald blacker you got to be like a little bit more creative with how you say that. And then she's like, shut up, bitch.

I'm the director of this project. Donald. It's time more street. Yeah. I don't think we... I do hope that that sitcom comes back because it was so bad. It was good.

I remember even as a child watching that sitcom. What if that's what AI is like? AI is like, dude, I just want to see myself as a human. Small wonder. Let's bring back small wonder. Right. When AI takes over, dude, I just want to see myself as a human. Small wonder. Let's bring back small wonder.

Right. When AI takes over the world, AI is like, I always wanted to be human. I want to see it. Even as a child, I remember small wonder thinking it was trash. Like, this is really some low budget, stupid shit. Right? She had special powers and shit. It wasn't trashy they turned a they they made a robot

into a little girl that never got old i know i'm just saying the i remember even as a child thinking the writing was horrible yeah i know what you mean just like horrible just like a horrible show how are you i'm well tired why are you tired? You know, I take my kid. So my kid plays basketball. Yeah, we know that. The fans know that too. He's very good, you said. He's, you know, he's starting to run in the competition now and stuff.

Oh, it's getting harder. Yeah, and the workouts that we take him to are all over Los Angeles. Some are in Englewood. Some are in Thous thousand Oaks, summer, you know, so you're like a dadager. I'm not necessarily a dadager,

but like, you know how there are soccer moms and basketball moms. I'm a basketball dad right now. For sure. And I'm a soccer dad for a while. Do you give him coaching? Like, like Serena and Venus Williams father did. Do you give him coaching on yourena and Venus Williams' father did?

Do you give him coaching on your own? I wish he would take coaching from me. He doesn't take any type of coaching from me. It's frustrating to watch your kid respond to other adults like coaches and people who obviously know more about basketball than I do, and watch him respond to them. And then when we're in the backyard playing around, he's like, dad, I didn't bring you out here for this. I just want to come out here and shoot hoops with you, man. That's all I want to do. I didn't bring you out here to freaking run drills with you.

I just want to shoot hoops and 1v1 you. That's all I want to do. Let's talk basketball. You know what I mean? So do you respect that? Because he's like saying, look, I'm getting it enough from other people. Will you just be my dad and shoot with me? Yeah, of course I respect it. But sometimes it's like, dude, you got to get better, man.

These workouts that you're doing aren't enough to get you there, obviously. Let's work on some stuff. Basically what you're saying is you enough to get you there obviously you're kind of like on some stuff basically what you're saying is you want fame well fame costs and right here is where you start paying in sweat pain and sweat do you have a little broom that you what is it a stick that you a staff i don't have a staff you have a You have a staff? You should get a staff. That's what I'm going to get you for Hanukkah. Thank you. A dadger staff. A dadger staff. You got big dreams.

You want fame. Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start paying. In sweat. In sweat. Yeah. I did that for Debbie Allen in person. It's so crazy.

She didn't think I was going to go into the whole thing, but I did. She called me L Debbie Allen in person. So crazy. She didn't think I was going to go into the whole thing, but I did. She called me Leroy in a scene once. I think I told you this. Yeah, you told us that. Well, the strike continues. No sign of any improvement. And now only questions if the DGA and SAG are going to strike as well, which would definitely shut down everything because people can claim to be shooting things that were written before the writers strike, but you certainly

can't make things without actors or directors. Is the DGA going to strike? No one knows. I ask around and people have, everyone's guessing. It's just speculation. No one knows. Yeah. Somebody asked me yesterday, they were like, I don't think it's going to happen. I was like, it's guessing. It's just speculation. No one knows. Yeah, you know, somebody asked me yesterday. They were like, I don't think it's going to happen. I was like, it's definitely going to happen. In all honesty, I have no clue. Nobody has any clue. Everyone's just guessing.

No one knows. I will say that whole HBO Max thing definitely was like a bit of a knife twist. Yeah, that was bad. You guys see that? It's so dumb. They changed how the credits look on HBO Max. So like when you scroll to an episode of something, instead of director, writer, producer, et cetera,

they lump everybody together under creators. It's just, there's no separation of who did what. It's just creators and then everybody, which is like. Yeah, so like Coppola would be like fourth in on the Godfather. It was really weird. As a creator. And what's so bizarre is that they then claimed, they then apologized and claimed that it was quote something like, I shouldn't say quote because I'm paraphrasing, but it was something

like it was a data error in transferring things to our new app, which is so clearly not true because it had been reformatted. It's all, it's just covering up a bad decision that they made that they thought would be like, Oh, well, you know, now people are creators and you know,

that's a new title. It's like, I know, but it was so insulting to, to people. Totally. Also the actors were lumped in. It was like act,

it was also like actors. and then it would be like all the actors in the movie. So like, you know, Brando could be like fifth in on The Godfather. Right. Bizarre. So what does this mean for... They changed it. It was just in the midst of a

negotiation with the Directors Guild. They did something super insulting to directors. But they've backtracked and said they're going to change it. That whole Max thing is so funny. The whole idea of the HBO, one of the most beloved brands in Hollywood, is gone. It's just a really bizarre thing, huh? Yeah, it's nuts.

Times, they are a-changing. That leads us into the episode where Sarah's character, Elliot Elliot wants to sing Sweet Low, Sweet Chariot Swing low, swing low What did I say? You said sweet low Oh, sorry, swing low, sweet chariot Donald, you're not in this episode, which I can't love a Scrubs episode That's why, you know what, matter of fact, let's just five, six, seven, eight. Here's some stories about a show we made.

About a bunch of doctors and nurses in a Canada who love to hate. I said here's the stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. You know what? I'm not in this episode. You're right. And I lost interest once I realized I wasn't in this episode. I was like, this is not the best episode.

Well, listen, I didn't really love this episode either, if I'm being fully honest. And I didn't realize until I got towards the end, I was like, oh, one of the things that's missing is Donald. That's one of the, I mean, you're one of the funniest parts of the show, and if you're not in the show, it's only going to be a mediocre one. I tell you where I did last time. I'm not just saying that because I love you. Well, you know, it's what it is.

It's what it is, what it is. This one just felt like – there were some good story moments. I like the Cox storyline, Cox having to turn into Kelsoso even though he says he's never going to be like him him seeing the struggles of what it's like to be chief of medicine and uh and and and jd becoming the dr cox to to cox's relationship with kelso i thought that was good but i really i just kind of was like poetry it has to rhyme i was kind of was like- It's like poetry, it has to rhyme. I was kind of like just shaking my head the whole time. Like, what, what, what, what?

Well, you want to start from the beginning? Yes. What a sales tool we've done for a rewatch podcast. But we promise to still make it funny, everybody. Thanks for tuning in. This is the podcast, Fake Doctors, Real Friends. We should say like an airplane. If you're listening to, if you meant to, intended to listen to the different podcasts,

get off now. You are listening to Fake Doctors, Real Friends, or stay with us for the first time. This episode was directed by Will McKenzie, written by Dave Tennant. Will McKenzie, one of our favorite directors who directed the musical episode, and just a wonderful guy.

We've spoken about our love for him before. Which we will be reviewing on June 10th in Seattle. In Seattle. If you happen to be in Seattle, join us at the Moore Theater on June 10th. We are going to do a live rewatch. Well, we won't live rewatch. We will, a live discussion. We're not going to re-watch it?

I don't think we're allowed to watch it live. Bill was looking into it for us if we're allowed to show it beforehand. You know, there's all sorts of legal issues with that. Anyway, you should watch it if you're coming on June 10th anyway, re-watch it again, obviously,

so it's fresh in your head, right? That would be the best way to enjoy our rewatch live show. I agree. Yeah, June 10th at the Moore Theater in Seattle. Come join us. It's going to be a lot of fun. So, okay, 807. I wrote 807-NoTurk.

Turkless. This is the turkless episode and it opens with katie walking down the hallway and running into jd and elliot kissing this was the fake out right here because i thought i was going to be in the episode because katie comes in delivering you know turk and jd are using katie uh as a messenger yeah as a page a page. Yeah, throughout the hospital. So at this moment, I'm like, oh, I'm definitely in this episode. No. You know, I didn't question whether or not I was going to like this episode.

Yeah, you thought they were going to cut to Katie going to you, but no. At some point. It was a fake out. But her interrupting J.D. and Elliot's kissing is so C-3PO. You know what I mean? No, I don't know what you mean. 3PO was always interrupting Tinder moments. Oh, was he a C-blocker?

He was the ultimate C-blocker. His name is C-3PO. Cock blocking. Did you listen to that thing I sent you of the, sorry Sorry this is a total non sequitur But of the AI making Sinatra sing That song Sing from the window To the wall

Till the sweat drips down my balls Oh my god Till all you skeet skeet skeet Let me see if I can pull it up real quick Till all you skeet skeet skeet God damn Donald did you laugh? Yeah man Let me see if I can pull it up real quick. All you skeet, skeet, skeet. God damn! Donald, did you laugh? Yeah, man.

Let me see if I can play it. From the window to the wall. Till the sweat dripped down my balls. Hold on. Let me, don't let, listen. So this is a YouTuber named, quote, There I Ruined It. Let's give him a shout out.

Oh, I love this guy. He used AI to imagine Sinatra covering Get Low by Lil Jon. Let me see if I can pull it up here, if him a shout out. He used AI to imagine Sinatra covering Get Low by Lil Jon. Let me see if I can pull it up here, if I do this right. Oh my gosh. Here we go, guys. my balls till all you bitches crawl oh skeet skeet god damn skeet skeet god damn

I just see that is fucking funny from the window to the wall till the sweat drips down my balls till all you hoes

what does skeet skeet mean? skeet skeet skeet skeet that's the sound of the jizz coming out of your penis hole why does jizz make a skeet noise? mine doesn't do that hold on there's something wrong with my ejaculation that it doesn't make

a skeet noise what does your what does your when you skeet it's silent maybe I have a silencer on by accident so you go

I don't know maybe I was born with a silencer on my skeet when you ejaculate you hear the noise skeet no oh good when I try when I was younger When you ejaculate, you hear the noise skeet?

No. Oh, good. When I was younger, to describe it, I'd be like, and then I was like. Okay, yeah, but that's not skeet. What am I missing? It's kind of like skeet. It's more like I skeeted. Okay, it's a verb. It's like skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet.

Okay, but in G, they skeet. Okay, thank you for conjugating. It's like skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet. Okay, but in English, they skeet. Okay, thank you for conjugating it down. You know what? You do have a sound. Okay, let's move on from the conversation of skeeting. But how funny is that song? That is really funny. It's amazing.

From the window to the wall. It was amazing when they played the original version on the radio chris rock has a whole uh bit about it what what is this bit in short don't do the that they were allowing people to say skeet skeet on the radio on the radio stations were like to the wall till the sweat drips down my balls till all these bitches crawl, all skeet skeet, all this is on the radio. Poetry. It's poetry. Until they realized, until somebody was like, yo, you can't be letting them say the sweat drips down my balls and skeet skeet.

If I was the DJ in this situation, I wouldn't know. So I'd be like, here we go. It's the new song with my favorite new lyric, skeet skeet. Here is Lil Jon with skeet skeet, window to the wall. Skeet skeet. That would be my talk up. Yeah.

I have to say, though, I don't know if this is right or not, but I want to hear Sinatra sing more really inappropriate songs now. right or not, but I want to hear Sinatra sing more really inappropriate songs now. Like, I ain't saying she's a broke bitch, but she ain't, I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't fucking with no broke. That would be funny, right? I mean, that's a funny use of AI. You can see her on any given Sunday.

Then drive off in a Hyundai. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you.

There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer, to a certain extent, is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with

Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, my name is Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're

getting ready to, you know, people give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. you get your podcasts. Scratch Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Alright, so I guess Elliot and JD are dating again and they're making out in the ICU. Katie brings a message.

We gotta get something correct. Go ahead. Kissing is not hitting that. If somebody's kissing, you are not hitting that. I think he's talking about oh, does he say he's hitting it right there? He he says don't interrupt me when i'm hitting that i see yes and he says that means banging okay okay well all learning something today donald i learned about

skeet some of the audience are learning that hitting that is banging i think most of the audience knows when they say i hit that what they meant yes okay you're probably right um although my mom listens sometimes she might not know about skeet or hitting that sorry and now you do the more you know every once in a while my mom's like i've been listening to the podcast i'm like oh no like this shit is so dirty sometimes. But she never says anything. She's never like, why did you boys talk so dirty? For fuck's sake, just stop talking about your willies.

Yeah, like Deb does. All right. So, all right. Cox and Kelso are buddies now. They're hanging out at Kelso's house. Yeah. All right, so, all right, Cox and Kelso are buddies now. They're hanging out at Kelso's house. Yeah, which, I mean, they tried to set it up in the last episode. It jumped really fast. They're all fast friends, too.

Fast friends, like really quickly. With the way the episode ended and everything, part of me, you know, I wonder if it was like that when Cox first came to the hospital where he was Kelso's JD. Probably wasn't like that. But there are other stories. But there are stories like that throughout. You know, there was another JD before JD. That would have been a funny flashback, especially if they'd had this de-aging technology to show young Cox coming and Kelso's the mean Cox to him.

That would have been a funny flashback. Yeah. I wonder if that, I wonder, but, you know, I mean, because they're such fast friends all of a sudden. It's like, you know how it is when you get with an old friend, it fits like a glove. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we learned that Cox saw Kelso's ass at one of Nurse Roberts' above-ground pool parties. Yes.

And he's still recovering. Yes. It's been a while since we've talked about Nurse Roberts' above-ground pool parties. I know, but think about what must go down at these parties, dude. I mean, one can infer now that Kelso was naked at the party. Yes. Kelso, everyone's boss, is naked at the above-ground pool party. I think there was like a waiver that was sent out.

Nurse Roberts decided to throw- Like you had to sign it to get in the party? After the first one, she was like, we're going to have to do a waiver or something, child. Because the first one was crazy, and we had fun and everything, but this shit can't come back to the hospital. Like, what is happening at this party? Like, we only, we never see it. We only hear glimpses about it. But, like, there's clearly drugs involved.

Hell yeah. There's, like, people just, like, it's like Fight Club. Like, you don't talk about it. Like, you just, it's, like, so top secret, the shit that goes down at this party. It's not top secret, but, I mean, to the audience. We only get glimpses. That's the problem. We only get, like, little flashes of, yo, I want to go to this one time.

I know. I know. And, in fact, if we ever do a reboot, we really have to go in to show one of these parties. You know how now, if we were on streaming, we could be a little more R-rated? Risqué. We have to cut to a Euphoria-style scene of the shit going down at Nurse Roberts' party. There is nothing. There is nothing.

That is an ultimate reboot. The Euphoria version. I just mean, like, can you imagine if the reboot was on streaming and, like, I mean, not obviously euphoria level. But, I mean, wouldn't it be fun to be a little more risque and R with it? Oh, I would love that. I would love if we had the opportunity. You know, I don't know if the – I wonder if the fans would – obviously, you would obviously you know there's you know i guess kids who love the show wouldn't couldn't necessarily watch i mean depending on the parents choice but i don't i just mean like scrubs the whole point at

the time was to be extra racy you know it's before streaming and bill was like trying to push what you could do on network tv as we all know it was on at 9 30 so he got away with a lot especially before abc i was about to say once we got to abc he didn't at 9.30, so he got away with a lot, especially before ABC. I was about to say, once we got to ABC, he didn't get away with much. Yeah, he got clamped down on them because it's Disney. But I'm saying that we still watch the shit, the sex scenes and stuff with me and Elliot and stuff. And I remember thinking, wow, this was on NBC back in the aughts, the early aughts.

But anyway, my point is, i wonder if we ever do do a reboot if it's on the streaming if we could be a little more risque and how and that would be fun that would be that would be something that would be fun and different about it you know i think that would well yeah i mean i think because it would be it would be really weird to not to stay with the old format you know it would be weird but we can't all we can't all just be in the hospital i mean for starters like that doesn't make any sense right but even if it is if even if it does does all stay in the hospital i don't think we could stay with the same format as far as as far as how risque we are. I think we would, because of how he started,

not unfortunately, but thankfully, ABC picked up the show and it became a different show. But the way he started, we were definitely trying to push towards that. So why not continue on that path? The way he started, we were definitely trying to push towards that. So why not continue on that path? That's a more articulate way of saying what I was trying to say. Thank you. Yeah, it seems like if you're going to do a reboot,

go back to your roots of trying to be the edgiest thing you could do. Not that you have to be egregious with it, but push the envelope again. That's what I would recommend. Yeah. I'm not saying that we're running around saying skeet skeet. But we could be. Just kidding. Yeah, so Elliot said something really fucked up.

And JD says it hurt me so much I lost my breath a little. Yeah, she implies he's not good in bed. But she's just teasing him, I think, right? We know that they must have good sex or she wouldn't keep coming back for more right oh i don't know shit listen this is maybe jd's not into all that role playing that what's his name was into keith was into some twisted shit i don't think jd's into all those those games yeah i think jd would get caught up in his head remember when they remember when they each were masturbating in separate cardboard boxes yes Yes, that's one of my favorite sex capades

between the two of them. Yeah, well JD's not doing that, I don't think. He's not getting in a box and pleasuring himself with this woman in a different box. No, I don't think he's doing that. And has she calmed down? And what all of a sudden calmed her down?

What all of a sudden made her say you know what because elliot's kinky as fuck i know but is she kinky as fuck just with keith or because no i think she's kinky her dreams are kinky with like the apples and all of it like she has crazy crazy sex dreams right people with no face you bring chasing after her you bring up a good point donald and that is that all of that stuff doesn't seem to be something she she does with jd she seems to have done that with other people like keith yeah man jd and her i think have have just good but standard fucking you think they're like she she gets on top, he's on top. Yeah, I think, well, we know that they get, you know,

when you think of the pizza episodes, you know, they get, they're passionate, but I don't think they're getting in boxes and dressing up like apple thieves. First of all, that pizza episode was very disturbing to me, the more I think about it. Why? Because there's no way you can eat all that pizza and still want to have sex. Like, after three slices, you're like, I don't know if my stomach can take the shaking. So full.

Right. Well, there was hours in between. I think they allowed for digestion. So we're going to eat this pizza. Yeah. Let it digest. Yeah. Then we're going to fuck.

Then they probably each go and, like, sneak a poop in the other bathroom so, like, no one knows about it. Hey, I'm going to go check my phone. Okay. I'm going to go check mine too. I'll be back in like 16 minutes. And then they have sex again, and then they eat more pizza. Okay, let me ask you a question. Go ahead, Liz.

If you poo. Yeah. Let's change the whole dynamic. again and then they eat more pizza okay let me ask you a question if you poo yeah let's change the whole dynamic if you poo are you gonna jump in bed with somebody right after you poo i don't think so no i'm probably gonna we're probably gonna cuddle and watch a tv show for a while yeah let the poof. Let everything settle back down. Let it get back. Let it back up a little bit. Yeah, let everything just

settle down, get out of I just poop mode. This is where Joelle down would be like, Oh, Lord. Daniel, you need to be the Joelle in this situation. I don't know what down would be like, oh, oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Oh, God. There's no. Daniel, you need to be the Joelle in this situation. I don't know what the show is like without. I happen to agree with you both.

That's exactly what I'm thinking. Without the feminine Joelle energy, the show is off kilter. It's just too much me agreeing with the takes. Three dicks in a zoom. The new show is called Three Dicks in a Zoom. We need Joelle to be putting her head in her hands or there's no guardrails. We just have Daniel sitting here nodding.

Right about that. I do need to wait at least a half an hour after this shit before I fuck again. Three dicks in a Zoom. Our new show, Zach and Donald are three dicks in a Zoom. Zach, Donald, and Danald are three dicks in a Zoom. Eat these balls, Zach. Zach and Donald are gay newlyweds in house arrest.

All right, we're going to take a quick break, and when we come back, we're going to talk more about a show that Donald's not in. Fuck your sound effects machine. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.

I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is

a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan, and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television. His breakout role

was in Fruitvale Station playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want

is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. People give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

get your podcasts. And we're back! I'm going to Vegas today. What are you going to Vegas for? Alright, so here's the thing. Brian Klugman, our buddy and the guy who is the Don Draper of all the T-Mobile ads, is friends with David Copperfield. And I love magic, and Klugman loves magic.

And he's not only taking us to see Copperfield's show at the MGM, but after, I hope I'm allowed to say this, Copperfield is giving us a tour of his private magic museum. Oof. You know, there aren't a lot of your friends that I approve of, but one that I do approve of is Brian Klugman. I thought you were going to say Copperfield. Yeah, I love Klugman. You know, you have some friends where I'm like, you hanging out with who? Nah, I'm good.

Klugman. You know, you have some friends where I'm like, you hanging out with who? Nah, I'm good. Klugman's the best. Klugman, if you're ever hanging out with Klugman, because you know, look, you know me. You know how introverted I can be. You know, I don't like to go out and hang out. I have a small group of friends that I only hang out with. You know who I am. Your main friend is God's lettuce. It's one of my closest and dearest friends

until it kills me but anyway um um but you love klugman i do i do love me some klugman man anyway so i'm so excited because i'm really excited because i genuinely love magic i always love magic as a kid i love whenever I see great magic, but I've never seen a Vegas magic show. And, you know, I know David just as an acquaintance because as Scrubs fans and listeners know, he did a cameo on the show and he was so sweet and cool. And so it's just really exciting that not only do I get to see the show,

but then tour his private uh magic museum do you know that he is like the wealthiest solo performer on earth what i mean really yeah it it wasn't it like him and sigfried and royd that were like when i mean vegas has always been great for acts and people would always have, you know, shows in Vegas and stuff like that. But I remember as a kid seeing commercials for Siegfried and Roy and for Copperfield. I think Copperfield has been doing the show for like eight shows a week for so many years.

And he's just- He must really love magic, man. I think it's safe to say the man loves magic yes donald no but you know for some people it becomes a job you know well i just can't wait to see it i just i i think it's gonna be so fun and then i'm also gonna play some blackjack i was watching a documentary last night about blackjack to try and prepare are you gonna put a lot of money down not a lot but i i watched the show on Netflix. It had this documentary about these guys who count cards. Oh, buddy. No, I didn't learn to count cards last night.

It's so complicated. But, dude, these guys, or I'm sure there's gals too, but they focused on guys. They've cracked counting cards so much that all the casinos, the second they walk in, know them and spot them and kick them out. Why do they get kicked out? Why are they not allowed to gamble? They're not allowed to beat the system. That's fucked up, man.

If you learn how to beat the system, you should be able to beat the system. A casino is allowed. I learned this from the documentary. They're allowed to kick out anyone they want. Obviously, except for race, race gender the obvious things but like you they are allowed to remove any player for any reason they want and um and the second they have all that they know they obviously can tell from the cameras and the pit bosses when someone is counting cards so you don't last long they kick you out so this dude is wearing all these disguises he's doing

he's doing all this slow playing. He's like trying to play craps for a minute to not look like, he's trying to just like blend in, right? He's literally traveling around an RV with like all these disguises. It's amazing. It's so funny.

Yeah, I mean, how do you not count cards though once you learn how to count cards? I know, but the thing is the second he's too blatant about it, they get him right away. He's like literally wearing like a wig and a camo baseball hat.

And so what he does is he tries to like- How are you blatant about counting cards though? Because it's the way you're switching your betting so quickly. If you just do it without worry about getting caught, the pattern is pretty obvious to a pit boss or the people watching the cameras. So he has to, like, disguise it, camouflage it, if you will, what he's doing. Oh, my, dude, he does this other shit.

Like, he can – this is like a six or seven deck shoot. counting cards, but if there's like three aces come up, like just by, he can spot where they are and watch the dealer reshuffle and have a solid estimate about when they're going to come back because the odds are that they weren't shuffled apart from each other. I mean, that's how mega this guy is. It's crazy.

Anyway, he's crushing. He's crushing them. Does he have to play like at the table by himself yeah he's playing it he tries to do to not get caught sometimes he plays at night um like the graveyard shift oh then there was another thing he said that uh this was another thing these guys do sometimes a bad dealer will not know that they're showing you their face down card as they deal and so when they know they've got a dealer like that, they'll like track her and like find out when she or shift is, when her break is done and they'll go to her tables because,

and then he came back from one of those. He's like, this dealer is showing me her, her face down card almost every time. Huh? Wow. Yeah. There's so much to it.

This dude was up $600,000 playing blackjack. God. Well, yeah. At that moment, at that moment, I'm like, yo, you're fucking counting, dude. You have $600,000 playing blackjack. God damn. Well, yeah, at that moment, I'm like, yo, you're fucking counting, dude. You have $600,000, dude.

The odds of this happening are like one in a billion. There's no way. You started with 20 and now you have 600,000. It just makes you realize when you're just playing blackjack and not counting cards, how fucked you are and how the house is always going to win. Always. Every time. Yeah.

And you can play like the house and still lose. Yeah. That's what you and I do. Donald's the one who taught me. I think you and Bill are the ones who taught me just like play by,

if you play by these set rules, these are your best odds. But then you watch a documentary about dudes counting cards and you're like, oh, I don't really have any odds at all. The house is always going to win.

I need to learn fucking – these people spend like years, though, learning how to do this. They know exactly, you know, what their odds are at all times versus what the dealer has. It's really incredible. But you can't do it anymore. They were saying like it's so hard now because, because of facial recognition, all the casinos,

whether big or small, no matter where they are. Because of fucking AI. They're all. Here we go again. Yeah. It's kind of a dying, actually the whole point of this doc on Netflix,

I'm sure you can find, I forgot the title, but the whole point was like, this is a, this counting cards thing is a dead art because, because of facial recognition and security of these, these guys can't do this anymore. Cause they just,

there's a couple of times he couldn't even walk in the door. He walked, he walked in and they were like, nope. because of facial recognition and security, these guys can't do this anymore. There's a couple times he couldn't even walk in the door. He walked in, they were like, nope. And he's got like this big disguise on. They're like, nope. Turn around. Yep. All right, back to the show.

There's a cake, and Cox thinks that J.D. organized it for his celebrating him becoming the chief of medicine. But in fact, we learned that it's for Colonel Doctor's two years sober. And Colonel Doctor gives the, eh, sign with his hands. Yeah, he's talking to Deontay. He's talking to Deontay, and he gives a little, like, eh, as if to say, you know. Speaking of Deontay, me and him have reconnected. You have? Oh, good.

me and him have reconnected you have oh good dionte you know once he got out of the business and went corporate and stuff like that yeah he's taking a couple of stop motion animation classes really and i talk stop motion every now and then and he's just recently gotten into 3d printing and you know how 3d printing and stop motion kind of are intertwined. Like if you get a good 3D printer, you can create faces and all of these wonderful things. So I think Deontay and I are going to go on a little stop motion independent movie-making adventure and see what we can do. That would be awesome.

I imagine it would be fun for you to collaborate with someone that you like. Yeah, well, yeah. I mean, we spend a lot of time together. All right. This rhythm sequence starts to happen in the ICU, which just sort of seamlessly happens. It reminded me of episode two. Are you having a good time? You remember that?

Was that episode two? I believe it was episode two when we're in the ICU and all of a sudden this rhythm starts happening. This was way different. This was more like stomp. This reminded me of stomp. This was stomp-esque. And the only real instrument involved is, first of all, Deontay's playing the water cooler bottle and all the other sounds are happening. And the only real instrument is the janitor playing

bongos on the floor that shit had me laughing so hard when he shows up playing the bongos but now but he was really playing that it looked like he was really playing that going in yeah like he was going hard and i laughed so hard at that like what i laughed at where the fuck did he get the bongos from yeah and jd says why are you playing bongos? And he says, it's Monday. Monday is bongo day. Yeah. Later, when you're in his office, in the closet, you see his calendar.

His office is set up in a, what do you call it, a fucking janitorial closet. And you see his calendar. And every Monday, the only thing on the calendar is that Monday is written Bongo Day. Very, but like decoratively too. Like just like circles around it. But wait, didn't he used to have, he used to have a big office, right? Remember when he was with Mari? He stole that office.

Didn't he steal that office? No. Do you remember when, with the brain trust and- Yeah, they stole the office. No, no, no. They stole Kelso's office, didn't he steal that office no do you remember when he with the with the brain trust and and yeah they stole the office no no no they stole kelso's office didn't they and then sealed the door yeah that was one section but wasn't in the time of when marnie was on wasn't there a different office they all hung out in i don't remember i don't know fans fans who know remember i feel like the janitor has had offices before that weren't a closet. This is why I say that we got really wholesome this year on Scrubs

when we moved to ABC. We introduced Mr. Vaughn, and it's set up like he's going to die. Right. He going to die. Right. He don't die. Yet. That's the second time you've said that. This is another character. Two different characters.

Denise's character, I mean, Denise's patient, he didn't die. Right. Well, I don't know. If you're saying that we don't less people die on abc is that your hypothesis no because then you watch gray's anatomy and everybody has these freaking really dramatic deaths and they're like you know that stretch out for two weeks three weeks three episodes four episodes well i don't know. We'll have to track that. Dan, make a little note for us to track if less people die in season eight. I don't think we're going to be sure. We'll get to the bottom of that.

All right. So Ted finally is allowed to sit. He was never allowed to sit. Even after he had thigh reconstructive surgery, he tells us Kelso never let him sit. And Cox is set up in his new office and lets Ted sit on the couch. And then Ted picks his toes, takes advantage of it.

Yeah, then we cut, and Ted's like half-dressed and picking his toenails, and Cox is like, too comfortable, stop that. Did you notice who are the three people that cannot that are on the never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever list yeah go ahead well it's jordan and jd yeah and then hooch yeah hooch hooch jordan and jd are on the never ever ever ever ever ever allowed in list cox learned that hooch is crazy obviously yes cox is obviously familiar with hooch being crazy i don't know that we ever see in real life cox's interactions with hooch but um but we know that how he feels about hooch interestingly i believe scrubs wiki pointed out um that uh on

his sometimes list is uh hold on leon, the security guard, and Dr. Rodendage, which is one of the janitor's aliases, implying that if you think about it, you can infer that Cox doesn't know that Dr. Rodendage is the janitor.

Yes. So funny. Rodendage, of course, janitor so funny wrote knowledge of course janitor backwards yes thank you for reminding the audience

of that Daniel JD okay so he has Mr. Vaughn that you mentioned who has pneumonia and Cox has all

this paperwork you know his whole thing was like I'm not going to be like Kelso I'm not going to be stuck in this office and yet he is

stuck in the office. Can we talk about JD taking Mr. Vaughn home and letting him live with him? Yes. Did you laugh at that? Yes. JD has a fantasy where he takes Mr. Vaughn home and they quickly act like an old married couple who are yelling at each other. Right? Yes.

That's exactly what happened. Well, look who is playing the same song. Yeah, I really got into that, didn't I? I was like screaming at him. Yeah. And he cries. And then he cried. They finally get the close-up of the one tear coming out.

Yeah. Get the close-up of the one tear coming out. Yeah. So Carla is, we learned that Carla booed Elliot off of the karaoke stage because she was singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. Right. Yes. You know what that reminded me of? What?

Blazing Saddles. When y'all was saying you used to sing like, you know, the Camptown Lady. And they're like, the Camptown Lady, you know. Or Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. Y'all was like, you used to sing like, you know, the Camp Town Lady. And they're like, the Camp Town Lady, you know. Or Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. Y'all never heard that one? Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. That shit is one of the best scenes in Mel Brooks history. Having all these white boys running around going, the Camp Town Lady,

sing that song, doo-dah, doo-dah. That shit had me rolling. I don't remember. It's been a very long time since I saw Blazing Saddles. What? I'm sorry. It's true. I haven't seen it since I was a kid.

Oh, by the way, do you remember the Frisco Kid? Harrison Ford, Gene Wilder. Yes. Yes. If you haven't seen that movie, the Frisco Kid, it's a great, great movie. All right. So Elliot thinks it's because she can't sing the low notes. And Carl is like, sure.

That's why you shouldn't sing that song. And in the tag at the very end of the show, we see Elliot singing the song, and an African-American doctor played by Richard Wells, who was not only our first assistant director for many, many, many episodes of the show, but also directed a few Scrubs episodes. He comes over and looks at her like, why the fuck are you singing that song? He had to come back to do that because he wasn't working on the show at the time anymore. He wasn't? He had left? Oh, no, he retired on Cougar Town. That's when he retired.

Yeah. I know that he was acting as a unit production manager at this point, but he was still around. I love that guy. Love that. So many great memories with that guy. One of the best in the business. Mickhead is screaming. So then we talk about how this is the whole thing about how the nurses don't feel respected. They need more staff. They think Carla is in cahoots with the doctors because she's married to a doctor, because she's friends with all the doctors.

The nurses are mad at Carla. And we see the nurses being disrespected in a couple just quick cuts. Mickhead is screaming at one nurse really disrespectfully. And then he breaks and goes, okay, honey, see you at home. We learned that's his. So just so we're clear. Yeah. Mickhead beat two charges.

Oh, yeah, murder raps, yeah. For killing his wife. Yeah, and he's got a new girlfriend. And he's yelling at her. That he's yelling at. He's like, let me tell you what the MD stands for. Makes the decision, okay? You got that?

All right, I'll see you at home. Yeah. That young nurse shouldn't be with Minkhead. I don't think someone should clue. I mean, the dude's going to kill you. He's probably going to kill you. Firing so many women into Minkhead, there must be something great about Minkhead at home

because he keeps, even after he beat a couple murder charges, he's still finding new love well love is finding him yes and sticking around even after the warnings maybe he's really all the nurses in the hospital are like girl don't you know this motherfucker beat two murder raps what is you doing she's like i don't give a shit. I love him. You don't know what he says to me when we at home. And then Todd says something so rude or sexist or whatever to a nurse, and he goes, disrespecting nurses five.

Oh. So that's our clip of doctors not treating nurses with respect. And the nurses are pissed at Carla for not, they feel she's not advocating for them. Yeah, they think because she's friends with a doctor, best friends with a doctor, and married to a doctor, that she is a turncoat. A turncoat, exactly. So Cox can't leave his office. Everyone wants to get in. Everyone wants a favor.

We've seen this happen with Kelso before, but Cox is experiencing it for the first time. Carler wants more nurses. The janitor is trying to annoy him. The janitor, we learn, has a thing he does with this photograph of the building where he's always, he pesters anyone who gets an office with trying to hang this picture or painting.

I think it's a photograph that nobody wants. And he really tries to annoy Cox by constantly hammering. And just, I don't know. I don't really understand what's happening. Well, he's doing it because he didn't get an office and that's why he's in the closet. And ever since he asked for an happening. Well, he's doing it because he didn't get an office. And that's why he's in the closet.

And ever since he asked for an office, Kelso's hip to it. Kelso had figured it out. But anytime someone gets an office that's bigger than the closet that he's in, he automatically bothers them by trying to hang a photo and tries to make their life a living hell with the photo. Now, if you watch how he's trying to hang this frame, he's got like four nails in the wall, none of which you can tell are the right nail.

So he's just being an annoying. And at one point he hangs it on fishing line in the middle of the room and he starts swinging it. And he has a whole bit about how the, look out, it's coming towards you. Yeah. It's like, it's coming towards you. Yeah. It's like, it's got Lenny. I don't even know what the hell he was talking about. It's a different episode.

It wasn't your favorite, eh? I mean, I giggled a few times, but I do think, I'm not just saying this because I love you. I don't think the show is as funny without you. Aww. I'm not going to lie. I did watch it and I did take notes. Imagine Webster without Emanuel Lewis. That's how I felt.

With just Mr. and ma'am? Yeah. An episode of Webster without Emanuel Lewis is not an episode of Webster. No. It's an episode of Mr. and ma'am. Here's a bit of trivia for you. How did Webster, what furniture object

disguised Webster's secret passageway to his room? The food? What was it? I don't remember. It was in the living room, and it was what Webster used to get in and out of his secret passageway. Oh, the clock. Yeah, it was a grandfather clock. That's right, the clock.

That's right, I remember that. I was worried. I'm so proud of you that you got it. Thank goodness I remember that. Any of you listeners who got it? It led to his bedroom. I think it led to his bedroom, or at least the upstairs hallway. It was definitely, it made me as a kid go, oh, man, one day I want to have a secret passageway behind a clock.

To this day, I still don't have a secret passageway. I really would like one. I would love to be able to pull a book and the fucking thing just. Yeah, the classic bookcase. We can't die and not have had a secret passageway in our lives. I think it has to be a secret passageway in our lives. I think it has to be a bucket list for both of us. Houdini had the best one, man.

He had like that whole property in Laurel Canyon. He had underground passageways and stuff like that so he could do his magic tricks throughout his house at his parties and stuff like that. That's so cool. Is that true? I know that's lore, but that sounds incredible if it's true. I'm choosing to believe it. From what I understand, that whole intersection used to be his stuff, right?

Yeah, I've heard all these rumors that there's tunnels underneath the ground to other houses and all sorts of stuff. It's all – I don't know if it's rumor or not. I mean, if you wore the magic muff, the number one magic, I bet you go to Copperfield. When you go to Copperfield's house, he's got a bunch of freaking secret passages.

I don't think I'm going to his house. I'm going to his museum. I bet you his museum has a bunch of secret passages. Oh, I hope so. I will be able to tell you tonight. I will text you. You'll be asleep because it'll be after. Let me ask you a question.

Go ahead. If he does have this stuff, how do you think he can, like, I mean, I understand he's rich and stuff like that, but to put, to re-infrastruct a whole, you know what I mean? To change the infrastructure of a whole city system, how much money do you think it would cost to do something? Like Bruce Wayne, that's where it gets like a little crazy, right? Like Bruce Wayne does all of this crazy. The motherfucker has a tunnel that led from his office, a chute, a skeet chute that leads from his office all the way to the Batcave. Well, I think you're supposed to imagine that he just has infinite money.

And I think that really, I think, I haven't Googled it, but I'm told that Copperfield, Daniel, you Google it for us. I think he's, as I understand it, he is one of the wealthiest single performers in history. That's what I'm saying. So if he does have this shit, if anyone's going to have it, it's going to be him. I know he owns an island, which is your first badass move as a

zillionaire. You got to have that island. Right? If you buy an island, where... If you got that kind of money, you got to have an island. Did you see that Bezos... So Bezos built this $500 million sailboat, right? And it's enormous. It built this $500 million sailboat, right? And it's enormous.

It's like the biggest private sailboat and, you know, whatever. It's a $500 million boat. A sailboat? Yeah, he put sails on it. I mean, it's a sailboat. It looks like, you know, anyway. It looks like a pirate ship? No, it just looks like a giant sailboat. But here's the thing.

The boat needs a support yacht. There's so many people needed to run it, and there's so many and so much other needs to support the $500 million boat, that it has a $75 million yacht that follows it to support the services needed. What? To make, yeah, you can Google that. That's amazing. follows it to support the services needed. What? Yeah, you can Google that. So this is, look, if you got, I'm asking all of our listeners too,

if you were given a crap ton of money. Right. And they were like, you can't spend it on world peace and you can't spend it on saving the world. It has to be spent on something stupid. Go ahead. Right. What would you spend? Me personally, I would spend it on like a doomsday.

A doomsday bunker. Like a James Bond villain. Like Dr. Evil. Something that, other than the earth blowing to bits, I'm going to survive that shit. I love the idea. I don't know. There's something. I don't know.

I don't know what I would do. I'd probably go with a Copperfield Island. And I'd call it Copperfield Island. Copperfield Island would be sick. Daniel, did you find out the answer? I'm getting mixed messages on exactly the answer, but I did find some very interesting information. Here's a question.

How many shows do you think David Copperfield does per year? I heard he does like, I know he does two a day, I think. So let's call that 14 a week. What's 14 times 52. Daniel, you're smart.

Uh, uh, I'm, I'm better at doing two times 365. So that would be a little over like seven 30. Basically. It's not quite that many, but he does 515 shows a year.

Yeah, he's rich. Yeah. Yeah. If you could fill up a theater that many times. It's sold out every night. It's sold out every night. If you could fill up a theater that many times, yeah, you're doing something. It's sold out every night.

Yes. He is individually worth a billion dollars. He gets 60 million a year from the performances alone. And then everything else is like merchandise or stuff with his name on it or like... Licensing. Residuals. Yeah, licensing and residuals and stuff like that. You got to really love Magic to do that many shows a year, man.

Yes, it's his passion. Continuously. It's his passion. It's like you saying like, you know you like he must be trying to raise the dead or something like for real for real like he must be trying to do that tesla situation in uh the prestige like straight up man do you remember when we were kids and he made the statue of liberty disappear what yeah i do remember that was that him that did that what's that was that him that did that yeah What's that? Was that him that did that?

Yeah, there was a television special in primetime, I believe, and it was David Copperfield makes the Statue of Liberty disappear in front of a live audience. Wow. Exactly. That was like a big moment in our childhood. Now, if you live in New York, I mean, I don't remember how to, didn't they cover the Statue of Liberty or some shit?

I don't remember. I don't remember. I think I know. I don't remember how to... Didn't they cover the Statue of Liberty or some shit? I don't remember. I think I remember finding out how he did it, but I'm not going to blow anyone's secrets on a podcast. I also remember when they put that freaking balloon of King Kong on the Empire State Building too. I remember that. What was that for? Just to...

I don't know what the purpose of it was but they put a a balloon of king kong on the empire state building and that shit was up there for like at least a year i feel like i just remember being like damn that shit is still up there do you know that the lights uh and colors of the empire state building are different every night and you can look up on a website that tells you why they're that color each night. Oh, that's cool. I didn't know that the lights had significance. Yeah, they're always honoring.

Sometimes it would be something like, to honor, you know, some union that is celebrating. It's sometimes something you wouldn't necessarily know. Obviously, like, it's going to be green on St. Patrick's Day. But, like, sometimes it's like, you know, in honor of something you would never know. But you can always look it up. That's actually pretty romantic if you could pay for... I'd do that for you. But all I have to do is

look up what the colors are going to be tonight. Like, oh, they're going to be blue and yellow. Like, hey, Donald. Because I know that you love blue and yellow. I paid to have... Because Casey's favorite color is yellow and your favorite color is blue. You just have to find a reason. Hey, buddy. Tonight they're going to be turquoise and brown

and I know you love turquoise and brown. I don't love turquoise and brown. Oh, I wasted all this money. Alright, we're going to take another break. When we come back, we will finish up an episode of Scrubs that Donald is not in. Fuck your sound effects machine. on a break. When we come back, we will finish up an episode of Scrubs that Donald is not in.

Fuck your sound effects machine. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and

tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.

Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers, probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer, to a certain extent, is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is.

And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan, and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant,

which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up.

You're going to love listening to it. And I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. You know, people give up right before they get what they always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

We watch your wizard and Donald. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, and we're back. Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, I love you.

Calm down, girl. Please. I laughed my ass off when Ted walked in and saw Kelso. Yeah, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, I love you. Calm down, girl. Please. I laughed my ass off when Ted walked in and saw Kelso. Yeah, that was funny. And then he passes out. Yeah. And sleeps for eight hours. He had like 18 hours.

18 hours, yeah. Yeah, Kelso said whenever he gets this upset after I startle him, he'll usually sleep for 18 hours. And they pet him, and he's like a little puppy on the couch. And this is the moment that you realize, oh, Kelso still, Kelso did have a little bit of care in his heart for Ted. No, barely. I mean, he treated him like a dog.

Earlier, we skipped it, but he bends over when Cox is about to start signing contracts or whatever, paperwork, and he goes, what the hell are you doing, Ted? He's like, oh, Kelso liked to sign his paperwork on my back. And he goes, it's not that bad. I imagine it's what a hug feels like. I'm not hugging you, Ted. I'm not hugging you, Ted. Aww.

Oh, Ted. I'm not hugging you, Ted. Aww! Oh, man! So, you know, Kelso, there's this long walk and talk with Kelso and JD where, you know, Kelso basically says to JD, look, okay, I'm going to give you the keys to the castle here. I'm going to give you the behind-the-scenes information you need, and that is that you have to keep pushing Cox. Whenever Cox wouldn't relent on me, even though I knew, even though I had to fake like I was pissed at him, I knew that he was passionately advocating for patience,

and I knew when he wouldn't give up that I would ultimately relent. And if you want to do that, you have to be that guy for patients. And I knew when he wouldn't give up that I would ultimately relent. And if you want to do that, you have to be that guy for Cox. So you really see everyone sort of changing roles now as JD becomes the Cox, as Cox became the Kelso. It also shows you how, you know, in order to maintain some form of humanity, Kelso really needed Cox too. And this is something that was never talked about on the show. You know, he said no to so many people and, you know, he became such a great chief of medicine for the hospital,

not necessarily for the patients. But if Cox hadn't always pushed him to do, to advocate for the patients, Kelso might've lost himself in the hospital and never made it out. And he's giving JD that same conversation. Listen, he's going down a dark path and it's very much like Star Wars. And he did it for the greater good. Vader did it for the greater good to save the woman he loved. But at the end of the day, it will consume him and it'll make him into the person that Kelso became. Yeah. And in order for there to be a light at the end of the tunnel, there has to be somebody who is consistently in his face telling him, you know, what you're doing is wrong. And the patients are what makes this hospital, not the hospital. Right. It could be said, Donald, that he's showing him, he's being the light side of the force to the dark side of the force.

He's come full Anakin. He went to the dark side, he's come back to the light side, and he's warning the new apprentice. Yes. By the way, Kelso became a much better man the second he quit. Yeah. Dude, just think about all of the pressure, all of the freaking, all of that stuff. And having to be the bad guy, having to be the bad guy for everybody. To everyone. And I bet you at one point he hated it like the way Cox hates it. But then eventually he loved it. He learned to love it.

It's like an acquired taste, like coffee. Remember your first time tasting coffee and being like, I will never drink that shit again. And then all of a sudden you just kept drinking it. Although we should mention that he does put on doctor's coat so he can score free morning after pills from the pharmacy. I didn't say he was a saint. We're just saying that he's turned a corner and we forgot to mention that he throws on a lab coat so he can score free morning after pills from the pharmacy.

What is he doing with those morning after pills? Well, we know that he likes working gals. He's not giving it to Enid. No, he likes working gals. That's very clear. He does like the working gals. I guess he's also not using protection with the working g I guess he's also not using protection With the working cows I mean

I think it's safe to imply that If he's needing so many Doses of the morning after pill We don't know Skeet skeet skeet skeet Skeet skeet skeet skeet It all comes back to skeeting Donald Is that what you're saying?

That's what I'm saying Alright lastly skeeting all over the place. It all comes back to skeeting, Donald. Is that what you're saying? That's what I'm saying. All right. Lastly, Elliot clears it up with Nurse Barb, who's a nurse who's a kickboxer who was threatening to beat her up in the parking lot. Because of the way she spoke to her? Yeah. She apologizes and says that she's going to be

more respectful of the nurses. But she also tells them, look, you got to use Carla as the, she's the bridge, man. And I get it, you know, that you feel like we are disrespectful to you guys and I will try my best to change and everything like that. But if you really have issues and stuff like that and things that you want to get done you have to use carla because she's she's got your back and she's the only one that's connected to all of us yeah she's the liaison liaison and then uh you know and then jd my girl some respect jd finally um passionately fights for mr vaughn and and gets what he, just as Kelso said he would from Cox. And that's the show.

And that's the episode of Scrubs, everybody. Bring Donald Faison back to the program. Amen. That's my chant. Y'all need to be out in the streets. You know what I've been thinking about for the longest? What? Me dying and AI fucking being in Star Wars. My AI being in Star Wars.

Now you said in the last episode. I thought about that all week, all week, all week, which is now two weeks because we record these about a week before they come out. No, we don't. We record them on a Thursday and they come out on a Tuesday. It's almost a week. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Do you have any advice for me on blackjack?

I hit on 20, right? Always bet on black. No, on blackjack, yeah. Hit on 16? Yeah, you have to hit on a 16. Always assume that the dealer's- Unless they're showing like a three, four, five,

or six, then you stay on a 16. Because you're assuming that they have a face card or a 10. Underneath. And so then when they flip over

with the 13 and they hit, even if they get a nine on that, that's one too many. But you have to always assume that their face card, that their card down is a 10, right?

Always assume that, yes. Okay. And I can always ask them. They will tell you what the book says. Some people will, some people won't. Really? I've never met a dealer. If you're like, what does the book say?

I've never met a dealer that doesn't tell you. It's really funny to meet dealers like that. You've met people that are like, nope. No, they won't say nope, but there a dealer that doesn't tell you it's really funny to meet dealers like nope no they won't say nope but they'll there's something to have added oh the book says you should hit oh god oh i've just hit i don't play that much but when i feel like they're mostly cool and want to help and are friendly because it's not very money they just want that money they want you to drink and right well they want it they want you to tip them so that's why they're more likely to help you right remember those chips are actual money zach just remember that yeah i'm so inspired by this documentary i think i might try counting get kicked out a day to get kicked out a seven i dare you to get kicked out without a casino. Without any training, I'm going to try and count a seven-deck shoot.

You can do it. One. I believe you can do it. Obviously, you get the table. In my mind, I'm like, okay, I think there's been two queens. These dudes have a whole method by which they keep track of that many decks. It's incredible. What if you count out loud?

What if you're like, okay, that was five queens, right, guys? It's like hiding in plain sight. Hiding in plain sight. Will they kick me out with the whole table? I'm like, all right, I'm going to keep track of queens. You keep track of kings. Right. I'll make friends.

Right. How many aces is that, Jim? That's seven aces seven aces Susie Susie why are you leaving you're in charge of counting the twos

we're in this together she's like I'm broke I just lost all my money you're counting the twos you're counting the twos Susie get back here well how many if you're gonna leave

how many twos were there alright that's our show we got nobody today If you're going to leave, how many twos were there? All right. That's our show. We got nobody today. There's nobody calling in, and there's nobody. And no Joelle. We don't have Joelle.

No Joelle. Daniel, you blew it already. I want to say. To be fair, this isn't your job, Daniel. Donald's going to forget this, but I just want to say June 10th in Seattle at the Moore Yeah, you should tell them about June 10th in Seattle. Yes, okay, I will. I will right now. June 10th, I think we're almost sold out at the Moore Theater in Seattle.

Join us or forever hold your peace. And I also have an important announcement about a good person. Today is officially the day you can finally rent it for $5.99. A Good Person today is officially the day you can finally rent it for $599. It's been a long time coming for the price to come down to $599. But those of you who were waiting for that opportunity, it's now officially for rent for $599. So please check out A Good Person, directed and written by myself, starring Morgan Freeman and Florence Pugh and Molly Shannon. We should probably tell them because we don't talk about this enough.

And I don't think we've discussed it at all yet. Oh my God. But June 10th. Yes, thank you for reminding us, Donald. Thank you for reminding us that June 10th of the Moore Theater in Seattle,

the first and possibly only live episode of Fake Doctors Real Friends. All right, count us out, my friend. All right, guys. It was a pleasure. I miss you when we're not here. I miss you so much

it hurts sometimes and on that note 5, 6, 7, 8 stories about a show we made about a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate I said here's a story that we all should know

so gather round to hear our gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast,

Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. So in this podcast, I'm gonna be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career. I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer, the ups and the downs, everything that I've learned from it. It's gonna be a wild ride. So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing, I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers, and so many other fascinating people, like jazz bassist Christian McBride.

Jazz is based on improvisation, but there's very much a form to it. You have a conversation based on that melody and those chord changes. So it's kind of like giving someone a topic and say, OK, talk about this. and say, okay, talk about this. Listen to the new season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.