Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - "Do You Accept This Assignment?" with Mission Implausible

Episode Date: August 27, 2024

Ever wonder how the CIA gets an informant to trust them? Do you want to know which movies get the CIA right? Former high-level CIA operatives John Sipher and Jerry O'Shea walk Zach and Donald through how they would craft fake conspiracies to help solve real crimes. Learn what kind of person the CIA is looking for and how you could become a member. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tune into the podcast, I Choose Me with Jenny Garth, as the Beverly Hills 90210 alum explores the transformative power of those three words. Discover how you too can choose health, healing, and happiness, and be the star of your own life. I'm Jenny Garth, and I have a brand new podcast called I Choose Me. Join me each week as I continue my quest for contentment and gratitude. Listen to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For decades, the mafia had New York City in a stranglehold

with law enforcement seemingly powerless to intervene. It uses terror to extort people. But the murder of Carmichael Lonti marked the beginning of the end. It sent the message that we can prosecute these people. Listen to Law and Order Criminal Justice System on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you love comedy movies and Hollywood satire, you're gonna wanna listen to a brand new podcast called Get It to Dutch. In Get It to Dutch, we play three aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a script to big time Hollywood producer Dutch Huxley. Each week on the podcast, we perform a movie script right before your ears. It's like going to a movie with your eyes closed. And we have amazing guest stars, including Tim Robinson, Rob Hubel, Lily Sullivan, Jamie

Moyer and Weird Al Yankovic. Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. It is summer and on NPR's Planet Money podcast, that means it is time to grab your notebooks and your headphones and tune into the economics crash course for your ears. Planet Money Summer School is covering the economic history of the world. From the birth of money, to the Industrial Revolution, to modern trade policy, we've got the lessons to keep you sounding smart at the beach.

With help from real economic historians. Every Wednesday until Labor Day. Listen to Planet Money from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast,

Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. Deb, are you recording?

For fuck's sake, just stop talking about your willies. Okay, Deb's recording. I haven't even talked about my penis yet, Deb. Wu-Tang forever. every Thursday. always decides when he starts putting on the show, but I think this is all good content. This is great. I think so too. How are you? You know what I realized is that you got a big birthday coming up. I've been thinking, I just had a fucking genius idea what to get you and I'm very excited about it. Does it have something to do with stop motion animation,

let's say a motion control rig. No, is that what you want? No, I'm just saying it could be. I don't think you'd use that. You don't think I would use a motion control rig? Are you kidding me? Dear Industrial Light and Magic, I know you guys are my friends.

There's a mini motion control rig that you have, that everybody has except for me. What is it called? It's the mini rig. But would you really set that up and use it? Yeah, for sure. Like all of the stuff that I do. If I spend some fortune amount of money on this mini rig and I come over to your house and it's in fucking cardboard boxes and you're like, bro, come on outside.

I'm lighting a doobie. I'm going to be so upset. You would never have to worry about that with me. This shit's so expensive. Look, this shit is so expensive. I don't think you're gonna buy it. What are you talking about, like 20 grand more? Yeah, like that. Oh, what's it called?

I wanna look it up. Yeah, look it up, Daniel. See what the cost is. It's the Mini Rig. I gotta know what it's called. Motion Control Mini rig for Donald. Anyway, Daniel's figuring out how much this rig costs because I love you and you are turning 50.

I didn't really have 20 grand in my budget for your birthday, but I do love you. Well, you got Krista a horse. I didn't get, oh, that was funny. I forgot that conversation. We did get Krista- Did you not get her the horse? We did get her, oh, that was funny. I got that conversation. We did get Krista. Did you not get her the horse? We did get her, oh, that's from our joint account,

by the way, I sent her a $250,000 horse. I bet it's okay. Well then, yeah, I'm gonna need some of that back for this motion control rig. All right, well, Daniel's gonna figure out how much it costs. I probably won't spend 20 grand on you, even though I love you so much.

But what are you doing? What are the plans? You know, my wife- Joel, don't, Daniel, Donald has a 50th birthday coming up. Is that what it is, 50? Yeah. What's the dream?

You know, the, I don't really have a dream for my 50th. I thought the dream was a big ass party. I think my parents are coming into town, which is really cool and that'll be fun, but I don't really have a dream for my 50th. Why did you turn melancholic all of a sudden? But you gotta make a dream. We gotta get a whiteboard.

Yeah. We gotta whiteboard this shit. We gotta create something. I don't like this attitude. Yeah, I don't like the attitude. You like your shoulders slumped. You got sad body. Well, I don't got sad.

I don't got wife eyes right now, but I definitely am, I don't got sad. I don't got wifi's right now, but I definitely am. I don't know, man. I don't, I'm looking forward to turning 50. I don't know how I want to turn 50. And because I don't know how, you know, anything's up for like after Christmas party, there's no party that can be thrown.

No, but come on, you don't need to go like that. Why don't you do, you couldn't make my party, but why don't you do something small? Like I did, I had 25 people, a meal at a restaurant, you got a private room. Like why not at least do that? It's so not up to me. Who's it up to?

What do you mean, Casey's planning it? You're allowed to weigh in on your 50th. Yeah, that's true. I don't know, man. You have a weird attitude about it. It's like you don't- I like to work on my birthday. A lot of people don't like that.

That's my goal, is working on my birthday always. My birthday's on a weekend this year, so. Okay, well that's not gonna happen. Is the onus on me to plan something or is Casey planning something? No, the onus isn't on anyone to plan anything. Well, I'm your bestie and you got sad body when you talk about your 50th, so I need to step up.

Well, you don't need to step up. I gotta call Casey after this. Yeah, you guys get on the phone. I don't think there's anything, I don't think anything's happening. That's not acceptable. But she's a really good wife. I bet she might be cooking something up.

No, I know my family's coming in. She got like, you know, my mom and dad are coming to visit and everything like that. Why don't we throw up at least at the very least a dinner with all the people you love. What do you really want if you could have anything? I don't mean an easy rig. We'll figure out how much a mini rig is,

but like if you could, for the party, what could the party be your dream? Oh, you're asking me. For a dream party, I don't have a dream party. But if I could really have something, a budget for a stop motion short, that would be great. You really wanna be working.

Donald said my vision is to be put to work. And okay, I feel the vibes. You don't even want to party. You'd like everyone to contribute a budget for you to make a short film. Fuck it, why not? That's what you want? 50, 50.

I realize I don't necessarily like to get drunk so when I get drunk now. Why does it have to be drunk, bro? I didn't want to get drunk either so I had a brunch. I did a 25 person brunch. No one got, I mean, there was booze for people that wanted mimosas or anything, but it wasn't a drunk thing.

Right. I don't know, bro. All right. I don't know why I got all melancholic. I don't know why I got all melancholic. What about paintball? That's what I really wanted to do, but it's gonna be so hot, man.

Who cares? God, you're such a fucking Eeyore right now. I don't know, Pooh. Paintball, paintball. I would love to go paintball. I'm gonna take your mom out with fucking. And I know, and I know. Laser. I don't think my Poo. Paintball, paintball. I would love to go paintballing. I'm gonna take your mom out with fucking. And I know, and I know, Lacer, I don't think my mom would make it.

Would Shirley play paintball? Hell no, she'd stay back. She'd be like, oh, you guys go ahead. What if we put her. I'm gonna stay at the house. What if we posted her up in like a sniper position? She'd be like, you guys go ahead. I'm gonna stay at the house. What if we, Shirley likes an occasional bit of ganja, right?

I don't know. I caught my mom smoking weed once. It was the most awkward moment ever. Cause she was like, she was smoking weed and she didn't want nobody. Like it was, she was smoking and it was at the end of a blunt and she was smoking. First of all, she was smoking a blunt.

And she, and I was like, what the fuck is going on? And she was just finished, she was like, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, putting it out, like trying, and I'm like, what the fuck? You might as well just finish the shit now, like, why are you trying to hide the shit? It was funny. So what if- But she wanted to get that extra, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, ffff, fff My wish for your birthday is that we give Shirley a blunt

and a sniper position at the paintball. No, no, no, no. Yes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Danel, oh Danel's in New York. Joelle, you would come to paintball. Yeah, and take that sniper position with the blunt if it's still being offered, let's go.

Right. That's the, that's the hell. If your mom's not gonna take the blunt sniper position, can Jawell have that? Absolutely. But let's go play paintball. I mean, let me go play paintball. That would be fun.

All right, good. That's one thing I worked out. Let's do this. Good, that's on the list. By the way, Glendale, I passed it, has a laser tag still. They got old school laser tags. It's so fun. Laser tag is in this part. It's a really cool course.

Oh, see, Jawell, I disagree with you. Have you been there? Jawell, have you been to, wait, have you been to? I disagree with you. Joelle, have you been to, have you been to the one in Glendale? Yeah, my friend had her 26th birthday party there. Wait, the one in Glendale? I just keep driving by it and I'm like, I can't believe someone still has laser tag.

How big is the one in Glendale? Cause there's one in Sherman Oaks that is, we take the kids for that one and it's a lot of fun for the kids, but not necessarily for the adults. It's about the same size as the one in Sherman Oaks. I have been to multiple laser attacks. Oh, all right.

So wait, Dan, did you find out how much the mini rig costs? I still can't find exactly what you're talking about. There's lots of motion control rigs, but like I don't know the exact model you're talking about. Here's the thing. It's an old rig and the dude that makes it only makes a few of them every year Oh, well, and how do you find that on the well? I he's one of those finicky people too. So like when you get on the phone with them, even after you've you know struck the deal

He's like well, I'm making a bunch for this company right now And if there's one left over for you, I'll call you but I want to warn you this is about 30 grand And you're like, yeah, okay, I get that. Sure, I still wanna buy it. So now you know it's 30 grand. But here's my question. 30 grand might be like the premier version. What if you got like a slight. No, no, this is the only version of this.

It's a 10, it's not even 10 feet. It's like a really tiny, the track is like maybe four feet and it's up, you put it on a table. The rig itself is, it looks old school, it comes with an arm and an arm comes out and you put your, you mount your, you know, your camera on it and it's a tiny rig.

It's like a table top rig. And for those that don't know, this would enable you to, while you're doing stop motion, have the camera move and dolly and crane up in the world of your figures, right? Right, well, what I could do is I could do a shot with the camera doing it, and then I would remove all of the figures

and redo the shot with just the camera doing it. That way I could superimpose it all. Or with spaceships, do flybys. But you're not open to accepting a lesser expensive version. There is no lesser expensive version. I'm sure there is. That's not true.

You're saying like, you're basically saying, hey man, I want a Porsche. And I'm saying, hey, what if I got you like a really sick Miata? And you're like, no, Porsche or nothing. You must think I'm crazy. I would never say no to a Miata. I would never say no to any car if it was offered to me. Like that's what I don't understand. So like-

Right, so what I'm telling you is you're saying I want this thing, right? And it's 30 grand. And I'm saying, bro, wait, just let me finish my sentence. And I'm saying, I'll bet with my connections, if I do recon, I could probably find a sick version that's not everything you want, but it's maybe 10 grand. And you're like, I don't want that shit.

I don't think there's a 10 grand version of this is my point. You're going to, Dan is going to spend the rest of the episode searching. No, I hate you. All right. I'm going to go a different route than for your president. I already, I have a good idea.

Yo, do we really got the CIA up on the show today? Yeah, we have two CIA agents. We got a lot of questions from them. But before we get to them, I wanted to tell you that I finally watched Dune 2. I'm proud of you. I'm so embarrassed that I didn't go see this movie in the theater.

What a masterpiece. So good. It is a masterpiece. I mean, it is the most, is that the prettiest sci-fi movie ever? Gorgeous. It's up there, bro. It's a masterpiece. I mean, it is the most, is that the prettiest sci-fi movie ever? Gorgeous. It's up there, bro. It's up there. Maybe.

We should say spoiler alert, spoiler alert. Skip like a couple of minutes because we're gonna talk about Dune II for a second. The only thing that I didn't like was the end when he's having the conversation with the emperor. It was weird how it was lit on him, but then you pan back and then there's a bunch of same type of situations all over.

And it's like, well, how did everybody hear him and hear this conversation if the whole, if not only the planet, but everybody's, there's a lot of people listening at the end of him taking control of it. Right, but okay, that's nitpicking. Let's talk about the production design, the costume design, the cinematography. I mean, my jaw was on the floor.

I mean, every single costume is more mind blowing than the next. If that doesn't win, how, what movie could possibly come along and beat that movie for production design, cinematography, costumes. Oh, I'm sure you could find some simple movie that could do that also though, man, with beauty and touch and you know what I mean? Like... Visual effects? There's not a single... Well, visual effects. Visual effects. I mean... I've never seen a movie before where I went like, because I'm in the business, I can spot the shots.

Usually I go, wow, that's pretty cool. I know what they did and that's cool, it looks good. This movie, there's not a single shot that doesn't look real. That's true. I think I had a big budget. You render something and at times it's gonna look real. I read it was $165 million.

Wow. But it looks like it, man. It looks like it. Yeah, great. I read it was $165 million. Wow. But it looks like it, man. It looks like it. Yeah, but you know, it is epic. And by the way, let's talk about the actors for a second. Obviously, I'm biased and Flo is beautiful and amazing. Every single actor in that movie, I was sitting there going, is the best at their type.

Whether you're Walken or you're Chalamet or you're Rebecca, what's her name? I love her. Ferguson, she's amazing. Rebecca Ferguson. Yeah. You are the best of that type. That is the most baller cast.

Yeah, you got Zendaya, the best of that type. Every single person. I'm just saying, man. I told you about this before. That movie's fucking phenomenal. I really am embarrassed that I didn't see it on a big screen. I hope that one day they re-project it so I can go see it. But I did have to turn the subtitles on at a certain point.

I know the young kids do that these days, but I couldn't understand at certain points what the fuck anybody was saying. It's a little quiet. No, and it's also like, there's so much like grunting and yelling, you're like, wait, what did he just grunt? And there's also so many of the languages, right? And you're like, wait, was that English or was that in the language?

And that was that a key plot point that was just grunted? You know? So I realized like, oh dude, let me try subtitles. I really don't, usually don't watch movies with subtitles, but for Dune II, it did help because you're like, okay, that was just, it'll just say like, nonsensical grunting. And you're like, okay, good, I didn't miss anything.

You know what's really crazy is that you can see where, you can see where George Lucas got Star Wars. You can see where like, there's so many different things in this movie where it's like, wow, a lot of people took from this novel and ran with it. And I would imagine George Martin, right? There's a lot of Game of Thrones in this. Dude, there's everything in it. Dude, there's everything in it.

Why are you laughing, Daniel? It's just George R. R. Martin. George Martin is the producer for The Beatles. So when you said that, I was like... Oh. George... Yes, George R.R. Martin. If George R.R. Martin's books, I assume, came out, were written after Dune.

Well after. Okay, well, he was definitely inspired by this. Yeah, the sand writing, the sand worm writing scene? Amazing. I just, how? That scene in theaters... Wasn't that in Jedi? Why didn't he put a sand worm? No, no. What's the thing in Jedi? What's the thing that... That's the Sarlacc. The Sarlacc.

Isn't the Sarlacc a total bite off this? Kind of is. You know, where the bite comes in is there's a lot of a bite. Where the chosen one, you know what I mean? There's so many things that are, I mean, all comes from, you could say it's from prophecies from before, mythologies from before. But this is, but like a lot of the stories

that come out of Dune, you can see in the first, in episode one through six, it's a lot of that. Of course, and the force, I mean, the force is all over this. Like he can foresee the paths and he sees the way. And he has control over people and he can Jedi mind trick people and he can do all of these things.

Like one of the powers in the first one, him and his mom are captured and she's like, yo, we can't get away because this motherfucker right here is deaf. I need you to work it so that you can get all these other cats to talk to kill him. They got to kill him. What about sorry, this one moment, it's a spoiler. If you haven't turned off yet, skip 30 seconds. What about when they cut to the future and his sister is Anya Taylor Joy, and she's got a tear fucking dripping down her face and you know she's gonna be in three. Yeah.

Oh, that was fucking good. Dude, the shit is fire, man. This doom goes even way further into the future than you ever would imagine, like light years into like this planet all of a sudden becomes habitable with fucking trains and shit on it. It's fucking crazy, dude. Well, I guess I know that Florence has a big part in three and that's gonna be so amazing.

I'm in, one ticket sold. I will not miss three projected. All right, Joelle, tell us about these guests a little bit before they come in. They are CIA agents retired. Yes. And they have a podcast now and explain to me exactly what they do.

It sounds fascinating. I have so many CIA questions, but. Yeah. So John Siffer and Jerry O'Shea are their names. And I guess their job at the CIA used to be that they would create fake conspiracies and like try to work backwards and, and break down and understand how like the spread of conspiracies and how they impact cultures and stuff. And so now they started a company,

they've co-founded a company together called Spycraft Entertainment, where they consult with, they, I think they also, they develop their own films in-house and stuff, but they are also consultants on big projects where the CIA's history is involved or people are trying to use agents and spy craft. And so they sort of like, yeah, so I'm excited to talk to them. They're, I've heard, listened to a couple of pods they've done. They're funny. They're

guy friends. So I was like, I think these guys will be a good fit for Zach and Donald. So I'll host a fun conversation. Well, let them in. They're probably in already because they're CIA agents. They've been in for... They've been listening for... They're ready to go. All right, bring them in. They've been in this Riverside studio the whole time and we didn't notice them. And we just haven't known.

Yeah. Oh, count us in, Donald. Five, six, seven, eight. He's told stories about sure we made, about a bunch of docs and nurses and a calendar who loved to hate. I said, he's got stories that we all should know. We made about a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate acid He's got stories that we all should know So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our

Scrubs Rewatch your winzac and I know Oh boy! Hello, hello. There they are. Hey John, hi Jerry. Hello gentlemen. There they are. Hey, John. Hi, Jerry. Hi. Hello, gentlemen. Hi, gents. Gentlemen, you've made your first mistake, man.

Why, we let you guys in the room? Poor Judge of Character, gentlemen. Oh, God. I'm excited to see you. We have so many questions for you guys. Yes, we have so many questions. So many questions. Like, are aliens real or is that a conspiracy theory?

Give us the scoop on aliens. Let's just start off the bat. Let's just start out with, we can neither confirm nor deny, right? We're gonna answer every question. That's gonna be our response. So let's, but that's how you start to how you started conspiracy theory, obviously.

Wait, are you guys, when you go on podcasts, I know I wanna talk about what you guys are up to, obviously, but people must ask you the questions Donald and I want to ask you so badly, and you're going to say, we can't answer that. No, no, you'll be surprised. No, we can talk a lot. Okay, now during the pandemic,

aliens seemed like they were coming in hard. And I remember some funny memes, some funny memes with people like, not now aliens. We're really fucked with the pandemic. Can you please come back in like a year? And then there was some stuff in Congress, like really looking at any evidence.

I saw this fighter jet footage. I'm sure everybody saw that was incredible. We saw what they pulled out in, was it Mexico City with the freaking fake baby there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that was clearly fake, but there was a fighter jet thing that really stuck with me

was where this fighter jet pilot was just freaking out about what he was seeing. And I wonder what you guys, sorry if this is our first question for CIA agents, but we want to know about aliens. Well, first of all, John, you want to set them right on agents and maybe talk a little bit about the show why we're doing this

and all the rest of that. Yeah, that would be a good way to kick it off. No, FBI people are called FBI agents, but in the CIA we're called officers. Our sources, we run, so we are in the espionage business and we live overseas and run spies and sources and we call them agents or sources or assets. And so, Assets, okay.

So, right. But yeah, in terms of aliens, sure, let's talk about, we have the podcast mission in plausible and we did an episode with Michael Ian Black, the comedian, who apparently is very into the whole alien thing. And frankly, I had no idea how many people truly are into the whole thing. And they are quite up to date on things. There is a office at the Department of Defense

of the Pentagon who studies these things. A number of senators and congressmen have been pushing to provide money to get the US government to put out what it knows about unidentified flying objects, or they call them UAPs now, whatever that is, unidentified aerial phenomenon or something like that. I don't even know what that is. I think so.

Yeah. And so there's great interest in it. But let me set the stage for this. So the Mission Implausible, which is the podcast we're doing, John and I, as former agency officers, we've rolled our cover back, so we can say that now. We were conspirators. We did conspiracies, but little ones, like a conspiracy like, I work for the State Department. Or if you're going to approach a North Korean missile scientist, she can't say hey

I'm a CIA guy you have to come in and say I am I am a German businessman and I wish to work with you Yeah, you know, we will make money together. And so so we make little conspiracies and we're looking at Like big conspiracies and we're talking about like we've done conspiracies We know how they how do they don't work mostly because most of the times they fucked up the smaller the better. And so we're looking at bigger conspiracy. So we're probably going to talk now about aliens and all these big conspiracies. And we'll give you sort of like what it's really like inside of the agency and like

how we see the world really working. So bring on the aliens. There are aliens, by the way, but they're Guatemala. So bring on the aliens. There are aliens by the way, but they're Guatemalans. Right, how come the aliens always come to America? What's that about? Like how come America is always the number one spot? You don't ever hear about,

Russia ain't saying, listen, we got the aliens over here, man. I'm sensing you guys, obviously aliens are probably not under the purview of the CIA, but we just thought you might wanna share some secrets with us. If there's any stories that you have, we'd love to hear them.

We'd love to tell you, but there's no way we could kill both you and your audience that's listening in if you tell us the truth, right? Oh, I see, you have to kill us. Yeah, that's tough. Well, it's funny, Donald, you bring that up, and that's one of the questions we thought we were being clever when we were asking Michael Ian Black,

because he's a big UFO follower. We don't know much about it at all. And I said the same thing, like, well, you know, why are they all coming here? Like if there's a phenomenon out there that comes to Earth, why, what does the US government have to do with it? Why are they all coming to the United States? And he schooled me, like, oh, it's not true.

They're all over, and these other places have reported things. And so- Okay, so we'll have to have my Michael Ian Black on to ask about aliens. Yeah, he knows. Let me ask you guys a question. I would imagine a lot of people in our audience would wanna know is it seems like a very cool,

exciting job. How does the CIA recruit people? What is the criteria for becoming a CIA? What did you say the term was on agent? Officer. Officer. I mean, obviously good looks and charm, right? I mean, that goes without saying, it's not what you're.

Yeah. Well, charm has definitely got to be a part of it. Right? Like. Oh yeah. Well, it depends. So the CIA is the nation's intelligence organization. It's part of a larger intelligence community It depends. So the CIA is the nation's intelligence organization.

It's part of a larger intelligence community that includes the Department of Defense and NSA and all those places. But so the CIA has a big analytic cadre. So the people they're looking for there are almost like university professors or experts on things. I mean, people in the field undercover, the cool part, the James Bond shit. Right. So that's what we did.

We spent our career overseas, living in embassies, undercover. In our cases, we pretended to be State Department diplomats while we were overseas. And what they're looking for, in fact, nowadays, most people just apply online to the website, but what they're looking for is a variety of things. Obviously, people who are interested in foreign cultures

that like people and like foreigners and developing relationships because that's what we do is we meet people overseas and try to develop a set of trust with them so that they might actually have secrets that they're willing to share with us. So they're looking for people who like foreign cultures, that are interested in living overseas, that are pretty good at speaking languages, that are interested in the issues of the day, that write well, but also that have, you know, they're comfortable operating on the streets under potential surveillance, spatial awareness to determine whether they're under surveillance. It used to be when the CIA first started, there was a, from the OSS days in World War

II, the idea was you're looking for essentially a PhD who could win a bar fight is what they used to say. That's cool. So let's talk about the mission of the CIA, right? Because you group your people in to what they need to do. So if the US government has a problem, right? Or any democratic government has it, it has an issue. It looks to its toolkit, right?

And it's like, oh, this is an issue with the military should do this, or the diplomats should do this, or treasury should do this. But when it has an intractable issue that nobody knows how to solve, right? Like Iranian missiles or North Korean nuclear program, or how do you get inside the Kremlin? Nobody knows how to do that. So they turn to the CIA. So we get the hardest jobs that no one else knows how to do. So we recruit people who are able to deal with ambiguity, able to deal with failure,

because a lot of what we do is like, I don't know if you're supposed to swear on the show, but really fucking hard, right? Yeah, it's really fucking hard. And we don't know, and the thing is, we don't know how to do it either, but we work to figure it out. So we're people who often are outside the box, rule abiders, but we understand that we can't, we got to think outside of the box.

So the FBI is law enforcement, they're cops, and we're essentially robbers, right? We espionage is illegal every place else. So it's all fair in love and war, baby. Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these fine words. It began as a three-word line spoken by Kelly Taylor, Jenny Garth's character on Beverly Hills 90210, but it became her own formula for personal fulfillment and the rallying cry of an entire movement. The phrase, I choose me, has come to mean so much to so many. It

embodies self-care and self-love. I'm Jenny Garth, and I have a brand new podcast called I Choose Me. What started as a line in a script has become a guiding force for me. I've learned that loving yourself is not selfish. Tune into the podcast I Choose Me with Jennyth, as she continues her quest for contentment and gratitude and leads you on an exploration of the transformative power of those three words. You'll learn how you too can choose health, healing, and happiness to be the star of your own life and watch everything around you improve. Join me each week as I continue my quest for

contentment and gratitude. Come along and live by the words, I choose me. Listen to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For decades, the mafia had New York City in a stranglehold with law enforcement seemingly powerless to intervene. It uses terror to extort people.

But the murder of Carmichael Lonti marked the beginning of the end, sparking a chain of events that would ultimately dismantle the most powerful crime organization in American history. It sent the message to them that we can prosecute these people. Discover how a group of young prosecutors took on the mafia and with the help of law enforcement,

brought down its most powerful figures. These bosses on the commission had no idea what was coming their way from the federal government. From Wolf Entertainment and iHeart Podcasts, this is Law and Order Criminal Justice System. Listen is Law and Order Criminal Justice System. Listen to Law and Order Criminal Justice System on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, I'm Mark.

I'm Greg. I'm Brendan. And this is a trailer for a new podcast called Get It to Dutch, A Screenwriter's Journey. It's about screenwriting. And a journey. The three of us play aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a hit Hollywood script to famous producer, Dutch Huxley.

Well, I would say one of us is aspiring and the other two are sort of struggling. Which one of us is aspiring? They're gonna have to listen to the podcast. But I don't know and I made the podcast. I made the podcast and I think you guys were along for the ride. Each week we bring in a script, we read it, and then we give each other notes. And you'll also hear about our adventures navigating the Hollywood system.

The show features amazing guests like Tim Robinson, Lily Sullivan, Weird Al Yankovic, and Rob Hubel. And like any great blockbuster, it's filled with heartbreak, adventure, suspense, and just a little tasteful nudity. And some distasteful nudity. Oh yeah, sorry about that guys. Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Angie Martinez. Check out my podcast where I talk to some of the biggest athletes, musicians, actors in the world. We go beyond the headlines and the sound bites to have real conversations about real life, death, love, and everything in between. This life right here, just finding myself, just relaxation, just not feeling stressed,

just not feeling pressed. This is what I'm most proud of. I'm proud of Mary because I've been through hell and some horrible things. That feeling that I had of inadequacy is gone. You're going to die being you, so you got to constantly work on who you are to make sure that the stars align correctly. Life ain't easy and it's getting harder and harder.

So if you have a story to tell, if you've come through some trials, you need to share it because you're going to inspire someone. You're going to, you're going to give somebody the motivation to not give up, to not quit. Listen to Angie Martinez, IRL on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It is summer and on NPR's Planet Money podcast, that means it is time to grab your notebooks and your headphones and tune in to the economics crash course for your ears. Planet Money Summer School is covering the economic history of the world.

From the birth of money to the Industrial Revolution to modern trade policy, we've got the lessons to keep you sounding smart at the beach with help from real economic historians. Every Wednesday until Labor Day, listen to Planet Money from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. So you're undercover and then you're trying to recruit just from watching TV shows, you're trying to recruit assets. That's right. Who will feed you information. Sometimes they know they're helping you for some reason and sometimes they don't know

they're helping you, right? Almost always no, because what you want that person to be motivated to do what they want to do. What we want to do is develop a relationship of trust with a source of someone who has access to secrets that the US government can't get any other way, and then have that person work with us over time and maybe move up in their bureaucracy so that eventually we have a very senior person who's providing us the secrets that presidents need to know. And so, there's occasions that when we work on terrorism or something that

the person might not know who we are. Like Jerry said, we might pretend to be a German or pretend to be something else, but usually our sources know exactly what they're doing. Right. And so I'll just give you my personal journey, right? This might surprise your audience. Like I'm an ex hippie, right?

You see my age, but like I was smoking. Nobody even knows what hippies are anymore, Jerry. I know, I know. We know what hippies are. I know, we do, but we're smoking. Nobody even knows what hippies are anymore, Jerry. I know. We know what hippies are. I know what we do, but we're of a certain age. Right, right. Of a certain age. But I lived in Europe.

I worked on a construction site. I worked as a waiter in Germany. I smuggled cars into Iran. I got thrown into jail in Iran for smuggling cars for a little bit. I was smoking dope in Afghanistan. I was a disciple in the Sikh Golden Temple, hiked in the Himalayas. I hitchhiked through Africa, lived in the Middle East, lived in Mexico. And then I like, I got to grow up, right? I mean, got to feed you. So I went back to school.

Oh, I thought this was all about being, I thought this was all CIA oriented. No, no, no. That's what he was doing before. Then I went, then I showed up in grad school, like I got a degree in international business management, right? I got a fucking fee myself. And I got a letter in the mail that said, hey, basically you're a weird dude. We've heard about you from a professor, I think, knocked on me.

And they said, hey, and I thought, oh, there's no way they'll accept me, right? Because like I was going to Trotskyite meetings in Germany as a student and smoking dope. They shouldn't have accepted you. Well, they probably should have. But in the end, they said, no, no, we're looking for people with different backgrounds who problem-solve differently. And I have to say, I love my 33 years in the agency. So wait, what was the training like then? Then they, you know, where, what is it called? Because you got to become a lethal and you gotta become a little agent

Yeah, so John was a trainer John actually worked out at the okay But there's no way you can go undercover and not be able to protect yourself like why? Well, tell us about that is it bullshit that you have you said you have to win a bar fight But you know in the movies obviously, I know you guys advise on movies agents sorry CAA fucking officers are always represented as being bad-ass fighters. And do you go to do training like that? You're shaking your head, John.

No, I mean, in fact, for the most part, I never carried a gun or needed a gun. In war zones and things, obviously, we have to protect ourselves. Jerry is one of these guys riding horses in Afghanistan, looking for bin Laden. And in that case, he was with special forces, carrying weapons and things. But for most of our careers, not at all. Again, we're trying to just develop relationships with people who have secrets

and see if we can't get those secrets. So it's more mundane in that sense. I mean, obviously the US government needs secrets from around the world and there are dangerous places. So we, if we're in a dangerous place, we are trained how to protect ourselves there, how to drive, spin cars, jump out of planes, shoot things we need to, but that's not the basis of the job. Obviously movies love that piece of it. That's what the audiences love. Yeah, exactly. It's not so, but by win a bar fight, it's really more talking our way out of it. Right?

Yeah. I mean, I'm talking my way out of a bar fight. Did you be perfect then? Don't get in a bar fight. There you go. I've made that mistake a couple of times where I've gotten where the fight's about to happen and I found a way out of that thing. You're smart. So that's what they do when they train us on weapons for the most part, we're trained to what they call get off the X, which is another nice way of saying run away. Like we were trained, you know, military, they run to the fight. Their job is to use their weapons. Our job is last resort if we have to use a weapon.

But in general, we're taught to get out of the get out of the X. You know, off the X. I like that. I'm going to try that expression. Okay. I have a secret then to ask you guys. Ooh, that's so funny. What's your secret? Is it Putin? We already know it, man. We already know your secret. Is it Putin?

Is what Putin? Is that Putin or is that somebody else? Oh, is Putin Putin? You know what? Yes, it's Putin and I served in Moscow and in Russia have dealt with Putin and a number of other KGB guys around him. But yeah, I think nowadays when you become a dictator, you start being afraid of your

own people. And so I think there are some body doubles out there now, which, you know, like Saddam Hussein and other people like that when they're worried about getting shot. So I think I would do that if I had infinite money and so many people wanted to kill me, I would certainly say go hire some lookalikes. Start with Dax Shepard. Right. Start with Dax and then get Ray Romano. See how much Dax costs because you can do that right off the bat.

You guys do it in the critics. And if it's not him, you gotta go after Ray Romano. No, I don't think Ray Romano, you fucking asshole. No, you don't. You're right. And how would you give character assassination? So it's just as bad, right? What about the secret tools that we see in the movies? Are any of those real like, you know, I think of the- Like smoke screen or oil slick?

No, that's fucking, that's the video game we love. Spy Hunter. Spy Hunter. Yeah, not Spy Hunter. No, but I mean like, is all of that bullshit that these, that when I think of the CIA, That's spy hunter. No, but I mean like, is all of that bullshit that these, when I think of the CIA, I think of them using cool secret tools. Is any of that accurate?

Like tiny cameras in the glasses. Well, like tiny cameras for sure. So what Jerry said is, you know, our job is to, if there's a problem to figure out how to solve the problem, and usually we try to solve it by finding a person inside an institution that we can suborn or work with or what have you. And if we need tools to do that, if you need to listen to their phones, if you need to

take surreptitious pictures, if you need to surveil them, you know, we do have people who can get us the tools and fancy things we need. But for the most part, again, it's just building relationships. We don't need those things. In fact, when we debrief a source, you know, that we've, we've made sure we're not under surveillance, and we meet them secretly in a place to get information, to share the secrets with us. You know, we often, we don't record that.

We just usually listen and remember it and go back. Why? Because you're worried you'd be caught. I mean, why not record it? You're worried that they'll pat you down like they do in the movies and be like, it depends where you are recording me you asshole. Well, that's that's for sure. If you're in Moscow and you meet someone and you know, on the way back, you're, you know, you're caught or something. That's certainly a concern. But also,

you know, just, yeah, I mean, we don't need to retrain. We're trained to elicit information and remember what it is and write it down. So it's better not to have extra stuff. I wanna commit, cause it's a really good question, Zach, on the high tech stuff. So yeah, some of the high tech stuff exists, but increasingly and ironically, the more high tech there is, the more we go Stone Age, right?

Anything technical, like if I send you a coded message that no one can break if you're my asset, what if 10 years from now, someone can break that? You're screwed. But if it's not recorded and it's not put on video anywhere, if nobody sees it, it didn't happen, right? So you have to sort of future-proof everyone saying that. Yeah, yeah.

Because there might be a code breaking app in five years and that person is killed. We're going back to the 1950s, yeah. You don't want to use your phone Dead drops. Because it could be tracked. But the CIA, can't the CIA get into anybody's phone? Like if they want to?

That's more the NSA's job often helped by the CIA. So overseas, not anyone's phone, I don't think. I think there's a lot of very skilled people who can get into, get into those kind of places. But we can come up with an operation. If we need to get into a Iranian scientist's computer, we would try to come up with a means to do that. And that's essentially what our job is. And so yeah, we do that. But it isn't as if there's some dude sitting back here, like in the movies clicking on his computer Then and they can get into anything in the world and on a phone If you do a phone tip you're talking like huge resources to listen to somebody's phone and actually understand it Especially in a foreign language because we're not allowed to tap us phones So it takes like a team of like sure you're not Jerry sure We have to abide by US law.

Sure you obey US law, Jerry. Wink emoji. Americans are boring. Who wants a who? Listen to their fricking phones. It's all low porn and shit. I think that it's possible for the CIA to get into anybody's phone, at least in the country.

Possible. Why would you want to? You're phone, at least in the country? Possible. Why would you want to? You're not supposed to operate in the country, right? You're all overseas? No, they can operate anywhere. It's as long as it's secure in the country. That's security. But is it foreigner related?

Like, where do you not overlap with the FBI? So we are foreign intelligence operations. Our job is to collect foreign intelligence from China, Russia, Iran. Oh, so you can do that? So you can't get, okay, thank you. There's the button. So, yes, so we operate overseas.

Our job is to recruit foreigners to collect foreign intelligence. However, we do have people in the United States who work with the FBI. So the FBI's job is to track foreign counterintelligence, counterintelligence operators that are in the United States. And so we often work with them. And we sometimes work with US companies that have relationships overseas to collect foreign

intelligence. So we do have people in the United States that work on, we're not looking at Americans, we're looking at... If there's an Iranian scientist studying nuclear physics at Cal, who might go right into that thing, it would be nice to meet them before they go back. Right. Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these fine words. It began as a three-word line spoken by Kelly Taylor, Jenny Garth's character on Beverly Hills 90210, but it became her own formula for personal fulfillment

and the rallying cry of an entire movement. The phrase, I choose me, has come to mean so much to so many. It embodies self-care and self-love. I'm Jenny Garth, and I have a brand new podcast called I Choose Me. What started as a line in a script has become a guiding force for me. I've learned that loving yourself is not selfish. Tune into the podcast I Choose Me with Jenny Garth as she continues her quest for contentment

and gratitude, and leads you on an exploration of the transformative power of those three words. You'll learn how you too can choose health, healing and happiness to be the star of your own life and watch everything around you improve. Join me each week as I continue my quest for contentment and gratitude. Come along and live by the words, I Choose Me.

Listen to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For decades, the mafia had New York City in a stranglehold with law enforcement seemingly powerless to intervene. It uses terror to extort people. But the murder of Carmichael Lonti marked the beginning of the end,

sparking a chain of events that would ultimately dismantle the most powerful crime organization in American history. It sent the message to them that we can prosecute these people. Discover how a group of young prosecutors took on the mafia, and with the help of law enforcement, brought down its most powerful figures.

These bosses on the commission had no idea what was coming their way from the federal government. From Wolf Entertainment and iHeart Podcasts, this is Law and Order Criminal Justice System. Listen to Law and Order Criminal Justice System on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, I'm Mark. I'm Greg. I'm Brendan. And this is a trailer for a new podcast called Get It to Dutch, a Screenwriter's Journey.

It's about screenwriting. And a journey. The three of us play aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a hit Hollywood script to famous producer, Dutch Huxley. Well, I would say one of us is aspiring and the other two are sort of struggling. Which one of us is aspiring? Well, they're gonna have to listen to the podcast. But I don't know and I made the podcast.

Well, I made the podcast and I think you guys were along for the ride. Each week we bring in a script, we read it, and then we give each other notes. And you'll also hear about our adventures navigating the Hollywood system. The show features amazing guests like Tim Robinson, Lily Sullivan, Weird Al Yankovic, and Rob Hubel. Like any great blockbuster, it's filled with heartbreak, adventure, suspense, and just a little tasteful nudity.

And some distasteful nudity. Oh yeah, sorry about that guys. Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Angie Martinez, check out my podcast where I talk to some of the biggest athletes, musicians, actors in the world.

We go beyond the headlines and the sound bites to have real conversations about real life, death, love, and everything in between. This life right here just finding myself just this relaxation is not feeling stress is not feeling pressed. This is what I'm most proud of I'm proud of Mary because I've been to hell and some horrible things that feeling that I had inadequacy is gone.

You've got to die being you. So you got to constantly work on who you are to make sure that the stars align correctly. Life ain't easy and it's getting harder and harder. So if you have a story to tell, if you've come through some trials and tribulations, you need to share it because you're going to inspire someone. You're going to give somebody the motivation to not give up, to not quit. Listen to Angie Martinez, IRL on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. In a world where TikTok didn't exist yet, the comedy of a hennieo mexicano cross borders, he conquistadoada heart of America So personal has a company on a family the millions of Latinos And his catchphrases are part of our culture but all the world is good to me he cannot convert is in a symbol of the television Sonoro er hearts-Heart's MyCultura Podcast Network present Nace una Leyenda. Chespirito, I'm Felipe Esparza y te llevaré de viaje por la obra del super comediante

Chespirito. From his television debut hasta la cima del éxito. ¡Síganme los buenos! Listen to Nace una Leyenda, Chespirito, as part of MyCultura Podcast Network, in the application iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream podcasts. I have a question. Would the CAA ever hire a 49-year-old actor? Because this sounds very exciting.

Is it too late for me to audition? I bet you, I bet you that there are actors in the industry that are already working for the CIA, Zach. Okay, well I would like to audition. I'll do a monologue. I'll do whatever. Well, you're very smart to make your money first and then join the CIA. Yeah, because there ain't no money there. They don't pay you well. They don't pay you well. They don't pay.

You got good benefits, but that's it. What about if you're like really in deep and you get some bonus if you're like in deep and you do something amazing and then you come back, are they like, here, Jerry. That's what I was gonna ask you. That was my question. Has anybody ever gone in too deep?

Like is anybody? Donald wants to go too deep. Well, I do like to go deep. But have you guys ever, do you know of anybody like, do you know anybody like, yo, Sally went too deep, man. She fell in love with fucking the dude or Jim went too deep, he fell in love with her. Does that ever happen?

Yes, but. Please tell with her. Does that ever happen? Yes, but- Please tell us yes. They have kids. No, no, the yes is, and this is actually serious and tragic sometimes. This job can be like an addiction, right? I mean, we have a lot of failed marriages. We have alcoholism as an issue because people are like, you work at your job and you believe in it. And I think you give up,

we miss the birth of our kids sometimes, we miss things. And so yeah, I think we also have a very low attrition rate. Like people never leave the agency once you're in, once you, people are like, I love this by and large. What I think Donald's asking is have you guys seen the real life experiences of people falling in love or getting too close to the person that they're tailing? So in general, it's interesting,

if you see movies and stuff, the idea is we use sex to compromise people. Yeah, John, you're handsome. I bet you used a lot of sex to get what you wanted. John, how many assets- Especially in Russia, I bet them Russian girls was all over you. John, how many assets have you had sex with?

Let's just catch the chase. Get John to tell you his Russian girl story. It's a clear- John, tell us your Russian girl story and does it have anything to do with going too deep? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. John's like, how do I answer this question? How do I get there? We do not use sex because or compromise because the problem is we're trying to develop relationships with people that they trust us and they're supportive.

So they spy for us for years. If you compromise someone, they're looking to get out of it or they're looking to screw you with the first opportunity. I'll tell you my Russian, sorry, it's a little, it's a little long, but I'll tell you real quick. I'll try to do the quick version. When I was in Moscow, I was a CIA officer, I was undercover working in the embassy, and I met this beautiful girl at a party. It was a German diplomat was having this party.

And we are not allowed to date Russians because the Russians use people against us. They try to run sources. They try to make us have sex with people so that they can then use that kind of money. That must be hard because they seduce you. And so I was single and I met this woman and she was a concert pianist and she was just stunning. And we weren't allowed to date Russians at the time.

And I met her at a party and I said, well, you know, maybe she's Ukrainian. So I said, let's meet. Trying to work his way around it. Yeah, yeah. Trying to work his way around it. She must be Ukrainian. Tomorrow for brunch. And so I drove home that night from party, let's meet. Trying to work his way around it. Yeah, yeah. Trying to work his way around it. She must be Ukrainian. Tomorrow for brunch.

And so I drove home that night and partied, not with her. And I had my surveillance that followed me everywhere. I'll explain that to you later. Russians follow you, and you have audio and video in your house. They watch everything you do. And so I got home, and I realized, yeah, this is stupid. She's Russian.

So the next morning, I went to the brunch with her. My surveillance cars followed me to this fancy hotel. I had this brunch and I said, listen, I'm really sorry. My embassy discourages us having relationships with the Russians. I think it's really nice to meet you and have brunch, but I'm going to be unable to see you again. And she got really upset, like what's wrong with your embassy? The Cold War is over. This doesn't make any sense. Why can't young people meet each other? I said, listen, I'm sorry. I understand.

Fast forward, about a week later, I get a call in the embassy. And it's snowing. The embassy is right in old downtown Moscow. And she calls. She said, can you meet me outside my conservatory? I have something to tell you. And I was like, oh, Christy.

And Moscow, they're also going to set you up with something. I said, oh, what's happening here? So I did. So at the end of the day, it was like 7 at night, it's dark, I'm driving home, it's all snowy, and my surveillance cars are following me into the old part of Moscow. And she's standing out in front of her conservatory on the sidewalk in a big long fur coat. And so I get out to see her and I'm like, okay, what's going on? This could be weird. And she said, listen, I just want you to know that I won't date you either.

After I met you, the KGB came to my house. They threatened my parents. They told me I had to date you. I had to sleep with you. And they told my parents they would lose their jobs unless I continued to do that. And I now realize you're right. Your country is right. My country is still thinking in the old way. And, you know, I understand why you did that now. And I was like, no, man, I like you more now. Right. Right. Right. Ah!

Ah! But it gives you a sense of how- What could be worse than having to sleep with John, right? Yeah, good point. I mean, you know. So that's, to give you a sense of how the Russians are, the intensity of them trying to stop what American diplomats and American intelligence officers

are doing, they're willing to use anybody, their own citizens included. Yeah. I, that's incredible. Yeah. I'm sure that a lot of officers must fall to that even though they've been briefed on it. You know, the powers of sexual attraction can be very enticing. Very persuasive. That's why we don't use it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm saying that they must have. Jerry's married to a foreigner. If we meet a foreigner, not, now Moscow is unusual because they use it, the intelligence service, security service against us.

If we meet a foreigner, we can date foreigners, but we have to report it for counterintelligence purposes so it can't be used against us. So if I meet a, I'm single and I meet a foreign woman and I start dating her, I just have to write to Washington and tell them everything about her and they look to see if there's any information on them or whatever. And so that's the process there. And so a number of agency people and also state department diplomats and other people marry foreigners.

But when you propose to marry them, you have to then break the news to them where you really work, that you work in the CIA. And they have to agree to become American citizens and they have to take a polygraph. What would be, so you have to, if they can't pass it, you gotta quit. What's sexier than being able to tell a woman that you're like, I have to tell you something.

And she's like, oh, no, what? You're like, I work for the CIA. I'm a CIA officer. And I mean, I just feel like, Donald, we should be using that line anyway. So be careful, bro. Be careful, bro. A friend of mine.

Listen, you might think that I'm an actor. I understand why you would think that, but I actually work for the CIA. I'm undercover as an actor. A friend of mine, he was in Germany, he was dating a German woman and he wanted to, he filled out the paperwork, she was fine. It's just, she wasn't a spy sent to get him.

And so he takes her through this romantic evening, the sun's going down and they go up to where all these vineyards are, a bottle of wine, some cheese and bread. And I think she suspects that he's gonna propose. And he sits down and he says, I need to talk with you, this is really serious. He says, so the first thing I need to tell you,

he says is, I work for the CIA and I want you to marry me. And she faints. Like, go on. And she's like, he's like, oh my God, you know, the CIA thing, it's like, oh my God, you know, the CIA thing. It's like, and so he like wakes her wakes. She comes to and he goes, are you okay? He says, I'll, I'll resign from the CIA if you want.

And she goes, no, I thought you were going to tell me you were gay. And he's like, what? He says, well, you always put pomade in your hair and you dress nice. And I thought maybe you were bi. She's like, I was so certain that was what it was. And he says, no. And she goes, oh, you're gay. I just work with the CIA.

And she's like, oh, that's no problem, right? They're still married. She's like, oh, no, no issue. That's funny. I'm fine that we could get assassinated. I just don't want you to be bi. That's a good question. Have you ever seen someone get, have you ever been like, never?

No, no. No, no. No.'s funny. I'm fine that we could get assassinated. I just don't want you to be fine. That's a good question. Have you ever seen someone get, have you ever been like next to the dude that got caught and we're looking at him like, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, don't say my name. Well, no, we're usually,

because we work in embassies overseas under the diplomatic cover, if we're with a source and get caught, we get kicked out of the country. So to us, people say, oh, it's brave or whatever. You know, the brave people are the sources that work for us because those guys are committing espionage and they get arrested, they go to prison, they get shot, their family gets arrested. And so our job is to protect those people. Right. What's their incentive? You give them, you give them money? Is that their incentive?

No, rarely. Sometimes. Why, why did these, why do these brave people put their lives on the line? I'll give you one story that covers both what they're facing and why. But I'm sort of mixing two stories, but I won't say the country, but one guy was a real patriot of his country, loved his country.

I'm not gonna say where. He loved his country. And he and I- I'll tell you more later. He would meet, he and I would meet, and eventually he says to me, I need to borrow $1,000. And I'm like, okay. He knows I'm CIA, by the way, and I know he's an intelligence officer with his country. And we're working together on a common thing, but we don't trust each other, which is another weird angle on this.

And he says, look, I know what you're thinking because you're a CIA guy. You're not going to fucking recruit me, right? I'm not recruitable, but I need the money. And I said, sure, but I can ask why. And he says, well, my daughter needs an operation. And in the country where it was, the medical care isn't very good and I'm going to get a doctor with more training. And I'm like, okay, but why don't you borrow like $1,500 and get like a real decent medical care?

He goes, no, no, this is good enough. It's just a basic thing. It's a stomach operation. It's pretty run of the mill. Because his country's health care industry had sort of broken down. His insurance didn't really work because it was all corrupt in this country. So later I met him and I have daughters too and I brought him some beanie babies and a video from Disney film. I see him and I say, hey, how's it going? He's got a bag with him. And in the bag, he's on the top of it are some beanie babies

I'd given him from before for his daughter, and who was five. And he hands me the bag and he says, no, no, this is for you. I said, no, no, keep them until she gets better. And he said, my daughter died on the operating table. She bled to death. He says, because we don't have medical care because the president and my boss stole all the insurance money and I can't get anything. He said, he said, that's it. He said,

I am a patriot. I love my country. My government has betrayed my country. They are, you know, this is pretty serious shit. This is like wrong. And he says, I'm in, right? I'm going to use you, CIA, as my weapon of revenge, like making it right. There's shit you need to know. And he says, we're all over you. Like people you know who are working with you, they work for us and I'm going to tell you who they are. So fast forward, sort of a blend in the story, but we're driving through the night at night time. I pick him up at a place and we're driving along and we're talking and there's a surprise

checkpoint in front of us. So there's militia guys wearing the mirror sunglasses at night, weapons, they're high. And we ride into this thing and I'm like, oh, fuck. I don't smoke, but I've got a carton of cigarettes. Ride into this checkpoint and I give the head, I'm like, hey man fuck, I don't smoke, but I've got a carton of cigarettes right into this checkpoint. And I give the head, I'm like, hey, man, you know, nice night. Here's some cigarettes, American diplomat. And they let me through.

And he's sitting next to me, this guy. And as we drive through, I look at him, I'm like, that worked. He pulls out a marker off. And he says, very serious, he says, they wouldn't take us alive. I'm thinking, fuck us. Like, I got diplomatic immunity. All they do to me is like throw me out of the country, but he would be executed. Right?

So, so it's a, it's a serious thing and it's a, it can be, but it's, um, it sounds like the CIA and other country is what we're talking about. Zach, the, the, the, they're the ones that are freaking like, I'm going to sleep with you, I'm going to shoot your ass, I'm going to do all the things that y'all aren't willing to do. Y'all are like Batman and fucking, you know what I mean? Or like Superman and everybody else is like the vigilante that's willing to do anything and everything. Yeah, James Bond, you know, keep in mind, he was English.

So maybe that's why he was able to sleep with all these women. Yes. Maybe the English MI5 has different rules. They're allowed to have like you can fuck and you can shoot anybody you want. That's what you learn. That's what you learn on day one. Hey guys, before we start stretching and doing some exercises, you guys are allowed to fuck whoever you want.

Yeah, democracies don't allow that. And we're going to give you an Aston Martin. Hey guys, just try out your Aston Martins and then meet back here for stretching. That sounds, I'm sorry, Jay, but that sounds like the most dangerous thing ever, man. I'm sorry. It's great to be an actor and to tell lies in front of a camera and everything like that and get paid to do that shit, but to go into a foreign country and then make up a completely new identity and have to stick to the Bible that you've created so that you

don't get caught out there or to go there and nobody else can know that you're CIA, but trust one person to tell them, listen, I'm CIA hook me up That sounds like the most dangerous thing on the planet to me and I don't know why Anybody would ever want to do that without some form of protection and or you know what I mean? Yeah, but most CIA officers take a cut in pay to do this, right? I mean with our backgrounds and things like that, we could have gone into banking or Wall Street and made four or five times the money.

It's the thrill, right? No, it's the mission. Like, you know, we feel that we're working on the issues that matter, right? So whatever, right now you can imagine what's happening in Israel, what's happening in Ukraine, what's happening in Iran, and North Korea is developing nuclear weapons.

We're trying to find the answers to questions that the administration needs to make smart policy. Now they don't always make smart policy, even if you bring them good information. That's a different thing altogether. But we feel like you're doing something that matters. And the people who are helping you are risking their lives because they believe in the United States. They believe the United States can help them because their country is either greedy, corrupt, or violent or what have you. And they're working with us to try to fix things for their family and their country.

And that's pretty heady stuff. It's fun. And I know your audience is gonna think like, oh, it's CAA. So CAA, let's get up to the front. CAA has got skeletons in its closet, right? It's an organization made up of people. So, we have fuck-ups. We get things wrong. We make mistakes. We're not perfect. You can look back in history and there's all sorts of things that, like,

back in the 40s, 50s, and 60s that we shouldn't have done that I think are immoral and wrong. But, you know, like, that's sort of the way it is. What is the podcast that you guys do as we wrap up? Tell us about your show. It's called Mission Implausible. And the notion was like Jerry said, you know, we do, you know, we were in a certain sense, we're conspiracies over sea.

We were trying to hide our real intentions from those that were tracking us and following us. So we did small sea conspiracy. So the idea is we're going to look at conspiracy theories and try to dissect them and interview people. And it's similar to your program. It's mostly lighthearted and sort of banter. And we've looked at Bill Gates microchips. We've looked at chemtrails, Jewish space lasers. What? Wait, hold on. We've done Hunter Biden's laptop. We've done Havana syndrome.

We've done UFOs. We've done the deep state. We've done Denver airport. Under dead, the Illuminati living under dead. Have you done Kim Jong-un? Is that really him or is he dead and somebody else is running the country? Like what's going on?

If you know something, we can have you on to talk about it. I don't know anything. All I know is what I hear in the media and this it sounds like I it sounds like the media is part of this whole conspiracy machine that's going on clickbait baby the people thank you guys the podcast is called mission implausible you guys are so interesting and and thank you for your service back for a part two at some point. Anytime. If you guys could go do a little recon on aliens and come back, it would be great.

It would be great. Yeah, we weren't too helpful on that. I'm sorry about that. No, it's all right. We appreciate you. Thank you so much. We totally appreciate it. Thank you guys.

All right, talk soon. Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these fine words. It began as a three-word line spoken by Kelly Taylor, Jenny Garth's character on Beverly Hills 90210, but it became her own formula for personal fulfillment and the rallying cry of an entire movement. The phrase, I choose me, has come to mean so much to so many. It embodies self-care and self-love. I'm Jenny Garth, and I have a brand new podcast called I Choose Me.

What started as a line in a script has become a guiding force for me. I've learned that loving yourself is not selfish. Tune into the podcast I Choose Me with Jennie Garth as she continues her quest for contentment and gratitude and leads you on an exploration of the transformative power of those three words. You'll learn how you too can choose health, healing, and happiness to be the star of your own life and watch everything around you improve. Join me each week as I continue my quest for contentment and gratitude. Come along and live by the words, I choose me.

Listen to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For decades, the mafia had New York City in a stranglehold with law enforcement seemingly powerless to intervene. It uses terror to extort people. But the murder of Carmichael Lonti marked the beginning of the end, sparking a chain of events that would ultimately dismantle

the most powerful crime organization in American history. It sent the message to them that we can prosecute these people. Discover how a group of young prosecutors took on the mafia, and with the help of law enforcement brought down its most powerful figures. These bosses on the commission had no idea what was coming their way from the federal government. From Wolf Entertainment and iHeart Podcasts, this is Law and Order, Criminal Justice System. Listen to Law and Order, Criminal Justice System on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone. I'm Mark. I'm Greg. I'm Brendan. podcasts. producer, Dutch Huxley. Well, I would say one of us is aspiring and the other two are sort of struggling. Which one of us is aspiring? Well, they're gonna have to listen to the podcast. Hmm, but I don't know and I made the podcast. Well, I made the podcast and I think you guys were along for the ride. Each week we bring in a script, we read it, and then we give each other notes.

And you'll also hear about our adventures navigating the Hollywood system. The show features amazing guests like Tim Robinson, Lily Sullivan, Weird Al Yankovic, and Rob Hubel. Unlike any great blockbuster, it's filled with heartbreak, adventure, suspense, and just a little tasteful nudity. And some distasteful nudity. Sorry about that, guys.

Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Angie Martinez. Check out my podcast where I talk to some of the biggest athletes, musicians, actors in the world. We go beyond the headlines and the sound bites that have real conversations about real life, death, love, and everything in between. This life right here, just finding myself, just relaxation, just not feeling stressed, just not feeling pressed. This is what I'm most proud of I'm proud of Mary because I've been to hell and some horrible

things that feeling that I had inadequacy is gone. You're going to die being you so you got to constantly work on who you are to make sure that the stars align correctly. Life ain't easy and it's getting harder and harder. So if you have a story to tell, if you've come through some trials, you need to share it because you're going to inspire someone. You're going to give somebody the motivation to not give up, to not quit. Listen to Angie Martinez IRL on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. Hello everyone. I am Lacey Lamar. And I'm Amber Ruffin, a better Lacey Lamar. Boo. Okay, everybody, we have exciting news to share. We're back with season two of the Amber and Lacey, Lacey and Amber show on Will Farrell's Big Money Players Network.

You thought you had fun last season? Well, you were right. And you should tune in today for new fun segments like Sister Court and listening to Lacey's steamy DMs. We've got new and exciting guests like Michael Beach. That's my husband. Daphne Spring, Daniel Thrasher, Peppermint, Morgan J., and more.

You gotta watch us. No, you mean you have to listen to us. I mean, you can still watch us, but you gotta listen. Like if you're watching us, you have to tell us. Like if you're out the window, you have to say, Hey, I'm watching you outside of the window. Just, just, you know what? Listen to the Amber and Lacey Lacey and Amber show on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Rewatch Show is at Tentano.

That was great. That was, they were actually great, man. They were, you know, I wish they would have answered the alien question. Well, they don't know anything about that. Because I don't think, you know, For some reason, you and I both thought the CIA would have alien information, but I think it's not their department.

Well, then we need to find out who does have this information. Yeah, Joelle, can you book the guy, the night manager of Area 51? Yeah, that would be a amazing interview. Are you kidding me? Let me see what I could do. I wish you could book the fighter jet pilot. That, you know the thing I'm talking about,

the, just look on YouTube with the guy, if your audience you guys, you know the thing I'm talking about, the, just look on YouTube with the guy, if your audience, if you don't know what I'm talking about, just look up like, what's it called? He tracked it. Oh yeah, look up UFO Tic Tac on YouTube and this fighter jet pilot. I have a question. How big was the actual,

it's not the size of a Tic Tac obviously, but him trying to pin it with it, right not the size of a Tic Tac, obviously, but him trying to pin it with it, right. The size of a Tic Tac, he sees it and he's following it. And he- No, but he doesn't see it outside the window. He sees it in the computer, I thought, and then he locks onto it with the camera. No, he's just on the, no, it's not on the computer. It's his goggles with night vision, I believe.

And then he locks onto it with the goggles. Right, and he's freaking out. He's like, look at this thing. Look how this thing's moving And he's freaking out. And he's like, look at this thing. Look how this thing's moving. He's freaking out. And he's like, I wonder how I wanted the size of that thing. I wonder what the size of that thing was. I like that in your mind, you were like,

you questioned whether it was the actual size of a tic-tac. I knew it wasn't the size of a tic-tac because that wouldn't make sense. How would he see it? How funny would it be if aliens finally invade and they're like, they come in the size of a real tic-tac? They're like, we're here to take over. But it's, but it's kajillions of them now.

Right, but they all like, they land their little tic-tac and they're like, we're getting out. We're getting out. We'd win for a little bit, but it would be like Gulliver's travel where we'd be fucking stuck on the ground and everything. They can get us eventually. I gotta tell you, I think I would really love to ride

one of those dune snakes. The worm, the sandworm? Yeah, the sandworm. I would love to fucking get my clippers in there and ride it. Your clippers. That's what it must be for like Casey when she has sex with you.

Wait, are you calling my penis a sandworm. Yeah, she like has this case You have giant like clippers that she clips into writer Yeah, you should roleplay You should roleplay that you're right that she's riding your sandworm and have her yell about it. I don't like it. That's what I'm gonna give you for your birthday. I'm gonna get Casey two of those fucking extender claw clicking worm riding things.

To click onto my sandworm? Yeah, ride it. I don't know how well that will go over. I'm gonna get a little thumper that you put in the video. Okay. All right, everybody well that will go over. I'm going to get a little thumper that you put in the video. Hahaha! All right, everybody, that's our show. Thank you for tuning in. We love you.

We appreciate you. Be safe out there. Be kind. Five, six, seven, eight. I said, here's the stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our, Spurts Rewatch your Wizac and I know. Mm-hmm. Listen to the podcast, I Choose Me with Jenny Garth, as the Beverly Hills 90210 alum explores the transformative power of those three words.

Discover how you too can choose health, healing, and happiness, and be the star of your own life. I'm Jenny Garth, and I have a brand new podcast called I Choose Me. Join me each week as I continue my quest for contentment and gratitude. Listen to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For decades, the mafia had New York City in a stranglehold

with law enforcement seemingly powerless to intervene. It uses terror to extort people. But the murder of Carmichael Lonti marked the beginning of the end. It sent the message that we can prosecute these people. Listen to Law and Order Criminal Justice System on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you love comedy movies and Hollywood satire, you're going to want to listen to a brand new podcast called Get It to Dutch.

In Get It to Dutch, we play three aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a script to big time Hollywood producer Dutch Huxley. Each week on the podcast, we perform a movie script right before your ears. It's like going to a movie with your eyes closed. And we have amazing guest stars, including Tim Robinson, Rob Hubel, Lily Sullivan, Jamie Moyer, and Weird Al Yankovic. Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast Sniffy's Cruising Confessions.

Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. What happens when a professional football player's career ends and the applause fades and the screaming fans move on? I am going to share my journey of how I went from Christianity to now a Hebrew Israelite.

For some former NFL players, a new faith provides answers. You mix homesteading with guns in church, voila, you got straight away. They try to save everybody. provides answers.