Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - Get Into Our Car, Heather Graham!
Episode Date: October 8, 2024Heather Graham gets out of our dreams and into our podcast. She tells us about working with the Coreys, Vince Vaughn, Eddie Murphy, and Mark Wahlberg on her second visit to the show. Zach and Donald p...lay crooners and sing to the woman of our dreams. She talks about adding her iconic skates from Boogie Nights to the Accademy Museum, and what it was like to be part of the pop culture experience that was Austin Powers. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up, guys? I missed you so much.
It hurts sometimes.
I miss you, Doug.
You're so full of shit you left L.A.
You're hanging out with Daniel right now.
Daniel could have ran over to your house, to your apartment.
I watched the first YouTube video and I really didn't like my hair.
So I'm just going to have to let it go.
Let it go. Let it go.
This is everyone's first reaction when their video hits YouTube.
They're like, we got a new stylist.
Don't like it. Like we're hiring makeup.
Every single person is like, oh, really? We got a new stylist, don't like it. Like we're hiring makeup. Every single person is selling like,
we gotta change new, new, better outfits.
Yeah, the reality of it I think is startling.
Well, I was excited that it happened.
Don't get me wrong, but I was obsessing about my hair
and I was like, I can't, I'm not gonna be able to watch these.
I'm too neurotic and vain to be watching these together.
I'm really nervous for these motherfuckers
to see the old shit when that hits the air
and they see how many times I wear that damn sweatshirt.
Right.
It's a classic.
Well then we weren't even trying then.
I mean there wasn't any knowledge that those were going to be on the interweb, so we didn't
put any effort into like at least putting on a nice shirt.
Like Zetto.
Yeah. At least I'm wearing t-shirts now. I said, you know what? I'm going to step up my on a nice shirt. Like Zetto. Yeah.
I at least am wearing t-shirts now.
I said, you know what?
I'm gonna step up my game a little bit.
No more motherfucking Mickey Mouse sweatshirts.
Oh, I love that sweatshirt.
I think the audience should experience that.
Oh, and I'm making an appearance here and there
and stuff like that.
But I gotta wear t-shirts.
And then I started thinking, do I need to cut my hair?
Is that what's really the fuck is going on?
You look great. By the way, our new T-Mobile ad is running and I hear it's- I need to cut my hair? Is that what's really the fuck is going on? You look great.
By the way, our new T-Mobile ad is running
and I hear it's-
I've yet to see it.
You haven't seen it?
I hear it's doing really well.
I heard from the big McGillis.
What'd they say?
They said that-
Tell me everything I wanna know.
Just that people really like it.
They got a great response from it.
All you need to worry about is whether the people like it
enough for them to keep hiring us to do more.
And I feel like that's happening.
Well.
Cause it's fun.
And that's real.
And this one's super silly.
If you haven't seen this one,
there's a moment where Donald's painting
and it's supposed to the joke is that he's an amazing painter
and he's painted me as a minotaur or a centaur.
What's the difference?
A horse legs, a centaur.
Yeah, I'm a horse body with a torso
and I'm playing the pan flute.
Oh, nice. What's a minotaur then?
What's a minotaur?
Minotaur, that's like, I feel like it's like mostly.
Yeah, it's like a bull, but it's like bull legs,
human torso and then bull head.
Oh, okay. If I'm not mistaken. Well, I'm a centaur and it's a beautiful painting that somebody made. What the hell is this dude in motherfucking?
Sorry, I hate to do this. What is he in Narnia then?
Oh, you're talking about like a
Are you talking about the goat guy? But he has like deer, he has like goat and deer legs. He's a fawn. That's a fawn. That's a fawn.
That's a fawn.
That's a fawn.
Goat boy.
That's a fawn, guys.
Anyway, so listen, we made the ad, right?
We made the ad and I forgot if I brought this up.
If I did, I'm sorry.
But I put the painting, they gave me the painting
and I said to myself, I'm only gonna put this
on my mantelpiece for a little while as a joke.
But now it's been living there for a while
and it's pretty glorious.
Yeah, did they paint the pan flute in for you?
Yeah, they put the pan flute, I'm playing the pan flute.
I love it, I love it.
It's amazing.
I love that we have a commercial on television still, man.
Yeah, it's nice.
It's a freaking cool thing.
It's nice, Donald, it's Donald, right?
If people haven't seen it or if they're international,
what's happening in the commercial?
I'm sure they can look on the YouTube.
Even if you're international.
No, you can look.
Even if you're international, you can VPN, whatever.
No, you just go on the YouTubes.
In the commercial is, it's talking about how the,
you can get the wifi anywhere.
There's these expanders now and you can get it
like in your backyard, you can get it in your man cave,
in your garage, like it expands the home Wi-Fi to every nook and cranny. It's like
another dead spot is gone. Yeah, and we sing it to the tune of, to what's the song, Donald?
Holiday Road from Vacation. We love home internet from Timo. But anyway, in one of the sketches, Donald is,
is painting and actually there was a funny story.
Can we tell him the puppet story about how your puppet, your puppet showed up purple?
We should tell that story.
So the guy who made the puppet rushed and was doing it in like a
fluorescent lighting, fluorescent lighting.
He'd had fluorescent lights in it.
And so he built Zack,
I guess he doesn't have a problem building,
making foam the color of-
Peach. White people's skin.
Yep, I guess.
But when it comes to black people's skin-
The fluorescent light.
Wait, wait, wait, in his defense, in his defense,
this was funny, it was funny though. In his defense, in his defense, this was funny. It was funny though.
In his defense, it was a last minute thing.
Like, oh, we want them to be taking a ventriloquist lesson online.
It'll be funny if they have puppets that look like themselves.
So you know, in Hollywood.
If they have puppets, but not ventriloquist puppets, more like muppet puppets.
Yeah, but still a ventriloquist that you're doing this with your hand thing.
Yeah, but the ventriloquist thing is like a dummy where the mouth just opens up and
closes like that.
Okay.
Okay, like Muppet puppets.
Yes, there we go.
And, you know, in Hollywood, if you got the money, someone who makes anything will stay
up all night and make it for you.
And this guy did that, and it was amazing that he turned out in 24 hours.
But because he had made it, he explained later under fluorescent lights,
he got Donald's skin tone totally wrong.
So when it showed up-
Well, he didn't get your skin tone even close to wrong.
They're like, your skin tone was like purple.
Anyway, Donald was purple and-
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we were like, yo, you can't air this.
Like you guys got to like skin correct.
And everyone was like, don't worry, don't worry.
In post-production, we'll make him the exact beautiful brown skin
that Donald has. And indeed, they did.
They definitely did.
But no one will ever see Purple Donald with me.
And it was funny.
Yeah. I love that.
You want to know what's fucked up?
It was eggplant purple, too.
Yeah, like the eggplant emoji.
Oh boy.
It goes deep, Joelle.
How's life?
It goes deep.
How's life, everybody?
What's going on?
What have you been doing?
What have you been up to?
So I went and saw Deadpool and Wolverine again.
Again, second time.
You really liked it.
Two times.
I did. And I liked it better the second time than I did the first time. You really liked it. Two times. I did.
And I liked it better the second time than I did the first time.
Joelle, have you been yet?
Oh yeah, I saw it.
Oh yeah, she has her feelings.
Yeah.
I saw it.
She doesn't like it.
I do have my feelings.
Yeah, Joelle has her feelings.
Let her feel her feelings, Donald.
Okay, you saw it the second time.
It's an important movie, dude.
You really like it. It's not an important movie, dude. You really like it.
It's not an important movie to me, but I did enjoy.
I did enjoy.
I enjoyed the violence.
I'm not going to lie.
Did you bring your children to see said violence?
They have also seen some violence.
Okay.
Are you okay with showing your kids all that gore?
I guess.
Yes. showing your kids all that gore? I guess, yes.
You know, I'm gonna be honest with you.
It's hard to hide any of this shit anyway,
because it's in, I mean, unless I keep them on like,
radio Disney or some shit like that.
I mean, it's impossible.
Wait, remind us how old your kids are.
My kids are 11 and 9.
This seems reasonable to me.
I was watching equally violent as violent films at that age.
Dude, I was watching way worse.
I was watching sex scenes when I was their age and stuff like that.
Like, let's keep it 100.
Damn.
Did your mom not lean across you to try to shield your eyes?
Yeah, exactly.
No, I was watching the cable with the like, where it was scrambled and stuff like that.
Do you remember the first,
what was the first pair of boobs you saw in a movie?
Do you remember?
The first pair of boobs, it was DC cab,
maybe it was DC cab, I don't know.
It was stripes for me.
It was stripes for me.
The mud wrestling scene in Stripes,
that was the first time I saw them.
It was the shower scene in Porky's,
which was a Peeping Tom scene.
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, um.
Kate Winslet in Titanic was great.
Kate Winslet in Titanic was the first time you saw boobies?
That's a very tame, tame, tame.
I was 10.
Oh my God, Donald, doesn't that make you feel old?
Wait, does Kate Winslet show her naked breast in Titanic?
She shows, yeah.
When he's painting her like one of her French girls.
Oh, does she have a Merkin on?
And it's James Cameron's hand.
No, she's like fully topless,
like laying across the thing.
But she doesn't show her below the belt, a Merkin area.
No.
No, she doesn't show that.
The camera cuts off.
Oh, I didn't know that.
She never shows the machine.
So, Joelle, that makes me feel really old
that the first breasts you saw were in Titanic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaking of which, Donald and I are on Millionaire tonight.
Now, God knows when this is going to air.
The promo looks so good.
It was so good.
Well, this isn't going to air tonight,
so we can't really say that we will have been on millionaire.
We got as far as we could.
I'm proud of you guys for getting this.
Oh, okay.
Did anything cross the alligator line
from your last live game show of yours?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
They got us with- We literally got some bullshit
on our speakers. But I had only watched
this fucking show, I was so close.
Look, this is how I knew we were in trouble.
It was the David Beckham documentary.
This is how I knew we were in trouble.
He brings up, he goes, the name of it stars, you know,
David, the soccer player.
And Zach and I both go, who the fuck is David?
Like, yo, woo!
No, no, no.
That's when I knew I was like, oh my God,
we're in trouble.
I started that fucking documentary,
and if I had only finished it,
I could have got us one more level.
Oh my gosh, man.
And it was about, I guess she's, she,
I learned through doing Millionaire,
she does a dance that, in the documentary for David,
Posh Spice, is that, yeah, and Victoria Beckham.
And then that became a TikTok trend.
And the question is, what was the song?
Do you guys know the song?
No.
Yeah, cause none of y'all watched that bullshit either.
I watched it.
Did you?
It was a bullshit.
Oh yeah, it was so good.
Do you remember this moment?
She does some dance for him.
Vaguely.
No, yeah, I do, but I don't remember what the song was.
All right, well, you may have gotten it if you had four choices in front of you.
But maybe.
But Donald and I had not had not seen it.
And so we were at a loss.
No, wait.
And I think we polled the audience, Donald.
And they.
No, but this is what you made a mistake.
You went.
You said, I think it's island of the island in the streams
whatever yeah right now I think you said I think it's that which automatically
made gives them and they told us this backstage your best bet is to not say
which one you think it is right before they right before you hand it off to the
audience because you automatically influence the audience.
We polled the audience because-
And you did that and I should all Zach.
But Jimmy actually said,
Jimmy said, I think this is a good one to poll the audience
because the doc at the time we shot
had been very, very popular.
And I agreed with Jimmy because-
And none of them saw that shit.
The poll ended up being like,
the highest number on the poll was 30% and the next one was like 28%.
So we went with the 30% and it was wrong.
And the 28% was wrong too though.
It was?
Oh shit.
Yeah, the 28% was wrong too.
The 28% was the one that we were trying to go, that we were going back and forth with saying, I think it's this one.
No, I think it's this one.
By the way, we were on a tear for a second,
we were on a tear and it was such a high.
You were on a tear, bro.
You were crushing. I was on a tear.
I was in the lights like this.
Fuck it, we are millionaires.
Shit, oh shit, we are millionaires.
I knew there was gonna be a moment
from watching Millionaire, just regular Millionaire,
that there's a moment where they just go,
you're not getting our money,
we're going into the next level, like, fuck you, it's gonna be so hard. I knew a moment where they just go, you're not getting our money. We're going into the next level.
Like, fuck you, it's gonna be so hard.
I knew we were gonna reach that spot,
but to be taken out by not knowing a song
from a Beckham documentary, that bummed me out.
But that's, well, come on, bro.
That's how it goes.
That's what it is, man.
That's like people saying they,
there's a legit amount of people
that have never seen Star Wars now,
and it's acceptable.
It's acceptable.
It ain't like the 1980s anymore.
If it was 1980 and you said 84,
and you said, I've never seen Star Wars,
I think everybody'd be like,
you're out of your fucking mind, bro, what?
But it's, you know, it's 2024.
There's kids that weren't even born.
I have to recommend,
I think I've said this in the podcast again, everyone,
you can obviously read this book,
but I'm really enjoying listening to it
because the guy who reads it's amazing.
It's called Easy Riders, Raging Bulls.
And it's all about the filmmakers
that came out of the late 60s and 70s,
including Donald's hero, George Lucas.
And there's fascinating stories about after he made THX
and it wasn't a hit, he was so pissed off.
He wanted to make sort of avant-garde art science movies
like that and they were like, come on, man,
you gotta make something commercial.
And he's like, oh.
Well, this is Coppola in them that said that to him.
Yes, everyone said it to him.
You gotta see, you gotta, his best friends were
Spielberg, Coppola, Scorsese. Right, and everyone was like,
dude, you're making movies that are too avant-garde,
there's gonna be no audience for them,
you gotta make something commercial.
And he's like, it's so easy to make a commercial movie.
He's like, I can make a commercial movie in a second.
And then he finally goes, all right, I'll show you.
And he makes American Graffiti
and it's an enormously popular movie.
And he sort of proved to everyone.
And so then when he finally made Star Wars,
he figured out like, oh, let me blend those two skill sets,
making something commercial, but also in the sci-fi world.
Anyway, I think you'd love the Star Wars parts
of the book, Donald.
I'm gonna tell you something right now.
Go ahead.
I love everything about George Lucas.
I love his imagination.
If it wasn't for George Lucas's imagination,
a lot of us that are my age wouldn't have heroes
like who we just had on the podcast, Billy Dee Williams.
Billy Dee.
You know, things like that wouldn't exist.
Cause there were, I don't even think in Star Trek,
there were black people, you know, at the time.
Yes, there was Uhura. Uhura wasn't Star Trek. were black people, you know, at the time. Yes, there was Uhura.
Uhura wasn't Star Trek.
That's right, I take that back.
Cut that.
No, I want you to leave it and prove that you're wrong.
We should also say that Bad Monkey's out.
I don't know when this is gonna air,
but Bad Monkey's out.
It's definitely out by October.
It's been way out.
Great reviews.
I'm happy for Bill.
It's crushing it on the Rotten Tomatoes, which you never know which way that's going to go.
But Bill's killing it again.
Thunderous applause, Daniel.
Thunderous applause from our friend Bill Lawrence.
Check it out.
You're going to really like it.
Yeah.
I hear that you're in it.
I'm in it.
I'm in it for like a handful of episodes.
I can't really say much about my character because everything involving my character is a spoiler.
But come check it out, everybody. Bad Monkey on Apple TV.
We should probably let Heather Graham, the legendary, the legendary actress in. Is she here?
Oh, hell yes.
But before we do that Gather round to hear our spuds rewatch show with Zach and Donno.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, wow.
Where do you even begin with Heather Graham?
Her career is so epic.
I mean, I know where to begin.
Get out of my dreams.
Get in my backseat, baby.
And into my car.
Get in my backseat, baby.
Heather has an incredible career that we could spend five hours talking about, but it all
began with the two Chorys.
It began before that I'm sure, but you're the first.
When she began changing lives.
You guys, I love your singing!
This was so good.
You began changing lives, Heather, when you showed up with the two Chorys.
And licensed to drive their first movie together. Was that their first movie together?
I'm pretty sure.
No, they had done Lost Boys.
I think they did Lost Boys.
No, they were older in Lost Boys.
Was that Elvin?
You know what they were?
You might be right.
I don't know.
Donald knows his Cory's trivia.
Donald, you really...
I do love me some Cory's.
All right, should I look it up?
No, Joelle, look it up.
That's why our beautiful producer will handle this.
Heather, it's so great to have you on the podcast. We love you so much.
You guys are so fun. I feel all your positive energy the minute you started singing to me.
I mean, this was amazing.
Well, you're the perfect guest because not only were you a part of Scrubs,
but you have such an amazing career where you've done so many different things.
And of course, we're talking about- Wait, can I tell you guys,
recently I've been having a lot of Scrubs fans come up to me.
Alright, I went to Italy and this girl was like, I love Scrubs.
I've had all these different Scrubs people coming up to me.
So Scrubs has made a big impact.
I mean, a lot of people.
Yes.
You were so good on the show.
You were really funny on the show.
This was originally a rewatch podcast so we got to rewatch every episode.
And then you guys got too popular.
Do you guys just miss each other so you want to rewatch every episode we were in. I know.
And then you guys got too popular.
Do you guys just miss each other so you want to just hang out all the time?
Yes.
That's basically the point of this, Heather.
It began as a rewatch podcast, but then we ran out of scrubs episodes.
So then it was like, well, Donald is so flaky that if I don't schedule a time to see him
once a week, I'll never see him.
And so we hired I Heart.
So we hired I Heart to allow us to see each other
once a week and then we invite fun people
that we love onto the show and we shoot the shit
with them for an hour or so.
Love it.
But people like to know genesis stories, Heather.
So we wanna just go through some of the beginning parts.
How did, was it licensed to drive your first big part?
What was your first?
How did it start?
Okay, let's go.
All right, I auditioned.
I was in high school.
I auditioned and I, you know, of course
I was a fan of the Corey's and it blew my mind
that I got to work with the Corey's.
Yeah.
And I got to drive onto the 20th century Fox lot.
I mean, I'm sure you guys can relate.
Like that first time you got your first big job
and your drive to work and like you have
A pass and you drive on you're like they hired me. This is so crazy. You can't believe you're doing before that
Were you were you?
Commercials no, I did I did a few commercials
I did a hair commercial then I did a like a Disney Sunday night movie that actually oj Simpson was in
Ram and the juice
What was the plot of that? It was it was called foreign exchange and it was about these two nerdy kids at school
They're so nerdy and they pretend to be foreign exchange students so they could
you know be cooler and get dates and
The other person that was in it was you know that really successful director his name is like Todd field
Do you know him?
He did like in the bedroom or?
Yeah.
Todd. He was also acted in it.
Yeah, is Todd Fields right?
Am I saying his name wrong?
No, wait.
Todd Phillips.
No, Todd Phillips.
No, it's not Todd Phillips.
Cause you worked with him.
Joelle will know.
In the hangover.
We gotta get to that too.
Joelle has all the answers.
She's worked with a lot of good directors.
No, Todd Field, Todd Field.
Okay, Todd Field.
He became a very successful director,
just like Zach Brath.
Right, so well, I don't know about that.
What were the Corys like?
I mean, you were with them during their Cori heyday.
Were they nice men, young boys?
I mean, I think, look,
they were a lot more worldly than me.
I basically was like going to high school parties. They were, I think, probably doing drugs, I think, look, they were a lot more worldly than me. I basically was like going to high school parties.
They were, I think, probably doing drugs, you know, like,
Corey Haim was dating Lala Zappa, who's so glamorous,
and her dad is like this rock star.
And I just felt like super like nerdy compared to them.
Right.
And how old were you at that?
How old were you?
Do you remember?
I was 17.
I was 17. And you had beautiful curls, that? How old were you? Do you remember? I was 17. I was 17.
And you had beautiful curls, I remember.
It was the 80s. So I really, I did I have a perm.
Was that a perm?
Or did I? I did have a perm at one point, but I really curled that hair like a lot. Like it was
just, it was very curly.
Yeah. Well, that must've been flattering.
I'll never forget seeing that poster for the first time with Corey Hayne holding the keys
I'll never forget seeing that poster for the first time with Corey Haynes holding the keys
and freaking Feldman on the other side.
And then the freaking, your car,
it's not even his car that's in the commercial,
I mean, in the poster,
it's your car that you drive up in
at the end of the movie with,
and you in your poofy dress.
I'll never forget my first time seeing that
and being like, I'm going to see that movie.
That's how it was.
Oh, that is so cute.
I'll never forget that.
I had high heels with socks on in that poster.
Yes, you did.
Because who doesn't wanna wear socks
with their high heels, you know?
Donald and I were definitely the target demo.
We were the target demo for so many movies
you've been in.
Yeah, as we've, I feel like we've grown up together. Right. the Target demo for so many movies you've been in.
I feel like we've grown up together. Right.
With you being a sex symbol.
No, you've been a sex symbol your whole career
and whenever you were being a sex symbol,
the marketing department was aiming straight at Donald and me.
They had laser beams focused.
Psst.
They had laser boots focused. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's like an indie classic. Well, just auditioning, you know? I auditioned for it, and you know how it goes
with auditioning, it's terrifying.
You never know if anyone will ever call you back,
but I got it, and so that kind of introduced me
to the arty world of cool independent movies.
Right, yeah, but it's interesting that right off the bat,
you did two super polar ops,
you did like the ultimate commercial movie,
and it's a hit.
And then you go do like a little indie darling,
and it's a hit.
Like you must've been feeling yourself.
No, it was a really good, it was not, yeah.
Cause I mean, also look, it helped me make money
and become independent.
I was like a little teenage girl,
and suddenly I could just, you know, pay for my life.
It was an amazing moment.
Then you get a really big Calvin Klein ad
directed by David Lynch.
You really did a lot of research, Zach.
Joelle is the shizzy.
Joelle is the shizzy.
It's really Joelle.
Well, Joelle's a producer,
and she does research as a good producer does.
But a lot of this I knew.
I had to go on.
All these things we remember.
All these things are.
Well, everything, I knew those two ones,
but the Benicio Del Toro commercial,
I had to go watch on YouTube.
Isn't that funny?
Oh, you watched it?
Is it on YouTube? Of course.
Oh my God.
Of course.
Audience, if you're listening,
go watch the YouTube commercial.
It's very sexy.
It's not a YouTube commercial.
Watch it on YouTube.
Watch the Calvin Klein commercial directed by David
Lynch starring Benicio del Toro and Heather Graham.
It's very sexy.
And I think this was before Benicio ever actually
did that anything, right?
He looked like a model.
I don't know if he was a known actor yet.
Was this before Mark Wahlberg or after?
Yeah, yeah, this was way before.
This was probably like 1991 or something like that
He's around that time to
Yes, you have a good memory Donald
I just remember my age for certain things. I was
Alright, you remember Mark Wahlberg's underwear commercials. That was it. Well, yeah, those are very impactful
That was every it was the in Times Square. I grew was a well. Yeah, those are very impactful. That was every it was in Times Square
I grew up in town. He was yeah, I like Grady. He had abs and he
I remember every girl in New York was like
And I was like shit. I need to get abs like that. I've never been able to catch Mark Wahlberg though
You know what I mean? Never know what I read an article about him
It said he gets up at like 3.30 in the morning
to work out or something.
He gets up at like 3.30 in the morning to work out.
You guys work together.
Yeah.
We're gonna get to that.
Don't rush, don't rush.
Okay, okay, okay.
Let's slow down.
Are you guys gonna sing more songs though?
I'm hoping there's like a little more songs from you.
When we go to commercial break, we'll do it.
Yeah, you'll hear.
The audience can't hear you.
Heather, I wanna talk. Donald and I, one of our favorite movies,
and I just got to work with him for the first time,
but one of our favorite movies is Swingers.
And you were also in that, again,
being the object of every male's dreams.
Ha ha ha ha.
Right, Donald?
Thank you, you're flattered. I feel so, I'm getting very flattered and you know, thank you.
I'm just being honest.
I don't know Heather, you laugh, but this is I mean, there's a reason.
You know, it's not just you're beautiful, but your talent is.
Yeah, you're obviously a very good actress and you're very funny.
Let's not get it twisted.
Yeah.
It's so nice talking to you.
Thank you.
Tell us about Swingers because we love that movie.
I'm feeling all warm inside from this funny. Let's not get it twisted. You guys, it's so nice talking to you.
Thank you.
Tell us about Swingers because we love that movie.
I'm feeling all warm inside from this conversation.
That's what we do here.
Billy Dee Williams felt the same way.
I love it.
Tell us about the making of Swingers.
Well, basically I worked with Jon Favreau
on this Showtime short little movie
and he said, oh, I'm like short little movie.
And he said, oh, I'm gonna do this movie. And basically, they only had $250,000 to make this movie.
Can you imagine that?
I mean, it's insane.
How good it is, and they made it for nothing.
They made it for nothing.
And we were shooting in locations,
like a bar where just normal people are there for the night.
They didn't shut it down and put extras in there.
With film, too. I mean, it's crazy. Like, I shut it down and put extras in there. With film too.
I mean, it's crazy.
I don't know how they made it for that amount of money.
And we were shooting the Derby and everyone was just there.
They were just there out and the camera just kind of
was hidden and nobody really noticed it.
So we just shot with an open restaurant, open bar.
People were just out for the night.
Right.
That's amazing.
That's great.
And it was such a, I mean, I don't know.
Again, Donald and I were the perfect target demo
for that movie.
And we, I know, Donald, you were probably living
that life already, I imagine, right?
I had just moved to LA.
I'll never forget.
I will never forget.
I had the club, I remember that.
I put the club on my car.
I was in, I was, I had just moved to LA from New York
and I was doing Clueless, the television show
and Breckenmire was guest starring on it.
And some other dude was guest starring on it also.
And they were talking about swingers.
And I remember being like, what the fuck is swingers?
And they were like, yo, it's this movie.
It stars this guy Vince Vaughn.
Like Brecken was real good with names.
Him and Seth, or Seth Green are best friends, but he's real good with names.
And so he was like, it stars Vince Vaughn and this dude, Jon Favreau.
And you should see it.
It's about, you know, living life in LA.
And I was like, yeah, okay, whatever.
So the shit comes out on VHS and I get it and I watch it
and holy fuck, it blew my mind.
I was literally living that life at the time.
Yeah, there was so many inside jokes.
I wasn't going to the Derby,
I wasn't going to the Dresden and all of that shit,
but I was doing something very similar to that,
where it was Jerry's Deli or, you know what I mean?
I was just-
It's like young guys at Hollywood trying to be cool and-
Trying to bag babes, trying to be-
And also trying to get, and also all trying to be actors too.
I mean, that was the other world.
Right, and all being actors.
Well, not even just actors, some stand-up, some directors,
you can see all of their paths, you know what I mean?
And which way they wanted to go. It was very, it like livedup, some directors, you could see all of their paths, you know what I mean?
And which way they wanted to go.
It was very, it like lived, I was like, holy fuck.
Like Fav and Vince both spoke to me.
Like even the dude who played Sue,
like all of these motherfuckers, they spoke to me.
Like I was like, I'm this, the whole beef with the guy
and pulling the gun and now we gonna,
now one of us is gonna die
That shit do shit like that happen, you know, you know, I should have happened
There's not that shit could happen shit like that happened and it was like wow, this is this is
This is my life, but just white dudes are living it. Yeah
Well, they had a black friend there was a black friend in the group.
Yeah, but he was, you know, yeah, Alex, he was a, he was a, he was an eclectic black
dude.
You know what I mean?
He was the one black dude that hung out with all the white people.
You know what I mean?
Which was kind of like my life too, but you know, hey, let's take a break.
We'll be right back after these fine words.
All right. So that's 96. Then your life changes because you get one of the biggest parts,
I imagine, of your career, because everybody knows Boogie Nights
and you were infamously Roller Girl.
That movie was just incredible.
And I don't know, was it fun to make?
Was it?
Well, yeah, the cast alone.
What was your experience working with those incredible actors?
Yeah, that was a great moment.
It was a great moment where, you know, you're auditioning,
you want people to hire you, nothing's really happening.
And then suddenly, and you know, doing swingers,
I didn't think anything was gonna come out of that
because I'm just like, okay, this movie has no studio
attached, $250,000 budget. But getting cast in that movie, it was a very exciting time. And just
I love the script and Paul is so passionate. And it was it was really cool. Just creatively,
it felt really, you know, exciting. Did you know you were gonna have to work like that? Like you
came to work like you literally put your hard hat on, you bought the lunchbox
in and you went to work.
I mean, I was like going from, you know, I had done a few jobs, but I was like, oh my
God, I want a career.
So I really wanted this, you know, I wanted to do good work and hopefully get more work.
Did you know how to roller skate?
No, I had to have a coach.
And how about all the nudity you had to do?
Was that because, you know, there's regular...
Honestly, it was scary.
Like at that point, I had never done any.
In fact, I think I had been offered a few things that I turned down because of the nudity.
And then I was just thinking, what, maybe I should just do it, you know?
And so that was the first time I ever did it.
And I was slightly terrified, but I knew it was special.
But I remember I actually went on like Adam Carolla had a show.
He was like, oh my god, you're doing a movie
about the porn industry.
Oh my god.
He was making fun of it and acting like that's so exploitive
or whatever.
But at that time, it wasn't cool to make movies
about that kind of subject matter, which now I
feel like it's much more normal.
But at that time, people were like, whoa.
Well, he did such a good job. And it wasn't like, whoa. Well, he did such a good job.
And it wasn't just about the porn industry.
He did such a good job.
It was, I mean, it was about so much more
than the porn industry.
It was way more, it was more.
No, I mean, it was good.
He just did a good job and it was good,
but it was terrifying to be naked for sure.
Yeah, because there's nudity in sex scenes
where you're like, you know, people are used to that.
Okay, we might see a little bit of your breast
or, you know, your butt or whatever. You had to be like
rolling a roller, roller girling around. And I'm sure maybe, maybe you get used to it.
I don't know at a certain point.
What about you? Have you ever, have you guys done nudity?
I get nervous when I have to do that. I've done sex scenes.
Men don't often show their penises. That's the rare actor who shows their
Adam Devine shows his
And Jason Segel in what's it called Donald forgetting Sarah Marshall
I would I'd be too nervous because we men Heather I don't want to no spoilers but we change sizes depending on temperature and emotion.
What about your butts?
You could just use some butt nudity or something.
I've shown my butt on scrubs.
Oh Donald showed his butt on scrubs I think.
I would show butt.
You know in a lot of sex scenes you see these days when they're doing a hardcore sex scene,
the men all show their butts rising up in the air.
They're very free with their butt.
But penis is tough to show.
Well, no, they showed it in that movie,
what was it called, Shame or something, with Fassbender.
There are some movies where they're showing
their shoulders in the dead pool.
Oh, just that recent one.
They showed penis in dead pool?
In the first Deadpool Deadpool they showed dick
In salt burn they should be right when he's burning and he blows up the room and he's in the tank butt-naked
He jumps over and there's ball and shaft hanging
But that might not be really his that might not be it doesn't matter they show it
You know, I appreciate that that it's not just women,
but no, you're right.
Saltburn is probably the most graphic example of that.
Well, and I believe in Boogie Nights,
Mark Wahlberg wears a prosthetic because.
Oh yeah, he's wearing a prosthetic for sure.
And I think when the movie was over,
he kept it or something because, you know,
why wouldn't he want to keep that?
I would.
Oh, which by the way, I just want to do a little brag
that I kept my roller skates and then I just bought a new house and I was like, oh, should to keep that? I would. Oh, which by the way, I just want to do a little brag that I kept my roller skates
and then I just bought a new house
and I was like, oh, should I keep these?
And I was thinking, should I just give them away?
And then my manager called the Academy Museum
and they put them in the Academy.
You're gonna put them in the Academy Museum.
Oh, yeah. That's so cool.
Isn't that cute?
That's a tremendous applause.
I know.
That's a tremendous applause.
That's very sweet. I know.
And very cool.
All right, listen, another movie that Donald and I both really, really love is Bowfinger.
Oh, I do feel proud of that movie.
I mean, I got to work with Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy.
I mean, that's like a kind of a dream.
But you also showed how funny you could be also.
You were so funny.
You also showed how, I mean.
What was Eddie like?
Tell us Eddie, we're big Eddie fans.
We're big Eddie Murphy fans, so you gotta.
So we need to know.
Of course, I mean how could you not be?
Hold on, I'm a huge Steve Martin fan too.
I grew up on Eddie Murphy.
As I've gotten older, Steve Martin has become
my taste in comedy as well.
But Eddie Murphy is like,
I mean I based my life on it when I was a youth so. Yeah, I'm wondering, like your inspiration and stuff?
I recited Raw, I recited Delirious.
Yeah.
I recited Saturday Night Live, Beverly Hills Cop.
Yeah.
Like that was my, like you know.
For both of us.
Yeah, that's all I did was that.
I mean he's brilliant.
He is brilliant. Like I said, boom booley, boom booley, you know, awesome. For both of us. Yeah, that's all I did was that. I mean, he's brilliant. He is brilliant.
Like we said, boom booley, boom booley, boom booley.
We had a videotape in my house
that was Eddie Murphy's Saturday Night Live greatest hits.
Yes, best Saturday Night Live.
And then we just watched that shit on repeat.
They put another one out,
and the things that were on the original one
aren't on the one that they put out,
the new one that they put out.
Oh, really?
The original one had hot tub, all of that shit, going to get in the rock top.
Yeah.
Anyway.
All right.
So Heather, we talked too much.
Tell us about Eddie.
Was he fun to work with?
Was it intimidating?
He was, I mean, he was very fun.
He was very nice.
I mean, he's brilliant, right?
You're just like, you watch him in the movie and just, he's just kind of a genius, right?
He has like a stand-in
who looks exactly like him and he will sometimes do the scenes with you like if
you don't see his face like his stand-in will act with you who's really was a
cool nice guy but um I know he is genius right like you're just you're saying the
off-camera so you're saying some of some of the times that he's Even even not fully off camera on his back. He's not doing the performance
Sometimes yes. Okay. Have you ever worked with anybody like that before?
No, but I have you just such a big star
I mean look his performance is so brilliant and the guy that was doing it. He's actually really talented, too
But no, I've never done it work anyone. I've never had that experience.
Other than kids, no kids, little kids where they're like,
oh, you have to leave.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I've never worked on, I've never done scenes
with another actor being the actor.
Have you, Donald?
No, you know what?
I'm gonna say something.
When I did Kick Ass 2, I remember them saying Jim Carrey is notorious for doing that.
And he showed up on set and Jim was there for every offstage, off, you know what I mean?
He was very generous actually with his time.
But I remember them saying, now, don't be surprised.
He's notorious for this.
He's not going to give you off camera.
And he gave off camera the whole time.
And it was like, I mean, it might have been a phase he was going through.
But like, I didn't care.
I mean, I was just like, this is amazing.
Like, I get to hang out and talk to him.
And like Steve Martin would like eat lunch with us, you know,
because a lot of times people just go eat lunch by themselves.
Like, Steve Martin would just sit and eat lunch with all the actors eat lunch with us, you know, because a lot of times people just go eat lunch by themselves. Like Steve Martin would just sit and eat lunch
with all the actors, chat with us.
And I don't know, it was so special.
You know, just thinking, I'm standing here talking
to Eddie Murphy, like this is, it felt like a dream, you know?
The best was when he goes,
you're doing a great job.
You're gonna get it.
You're gonna, you're doing great.
You're doing a great job.
You're doing a great job.
You're doing a great job.
All right.
Then you get, let's see, a fucking another,
oh, sorry, we can't skip over the,
Austin Powers, The Spy Who Shagged.
I mean, Jesus, Heather, you've had some fucking hits.
That was a big ass movie.
Wait, was that the first one or the second one?
It was the second one.
The first one's Elizabeth Hurley.
Right.
You were the love interest in the second one.
Yeah, Felicity Shidewell.
Right.
Now he improbs a lot, right?
Does he make up?
I mean, he prepares.
We did a lot of rehearsal.
And on the other hand, he'll improv. I mean, he's the kind of guy, I mean, you guys are like this, like he likes to entertain
the crew.
He'll make jokes.
He wants everyone laughing.
He's very like, generous and fun.
You know, he's just always trying to make everybody laugh.
Yeah, we, Donald and I find that if we get everyone in a silly mood,
and Donald does this way more than I do because he has a lot more energy,
but we find like if we create an environment on set where everyone's in a silly mood,
it helps us be silly, you know?
So we try and make everybody laugh.
You guys are putting me in a silly mood right now.
I'm like, oh my God, let's make more scrubs.
Let's do it.
Well, Bill Lawrence has been on a press junkie lately talking a lot of shit.
He's been talking.
So stand by, audience.
There's a possibility.
Oh, really?
What did he say?
You know, he's promoting Bad Monkey now.
And of course, every interview that asked him the question says, when are you rebooting
scrubs?
And the answer used to be like, oh, it'll be fun one day.
And then lately, I should have an answer for you
in the next six months.
Was he saying that?
What is he saying now?
That is so cool.
Everybody's going to be excited about.
Basically what it is is if you want to know the thing of it,
is it's going to happen.
Disney owns Scrubs.
Bill has a very big deal with Warner Brothers.
So those two companies have to come together.
I was just thinking, I wish I had been in more episodes because it was so fun.
You're going to come back.
If we do it, you got to come back.
No, I want to do more.
So if it comes back, I want to be in it.
You were very funny as Molly Clark.
No, so I was in Italy, okay?
And I was getting breakfast and this Italian woman comes up and she does these heart hands
to me and she's like Molly
Dr. Molly on scrubs, you know, and she touched her heart like thank you And I'm like, wow that that you know wasn't like she really affected her and she was so sweet, you know
Well Heather, I don't know if you know this of the fans of this podcast will know that because they've heard me say this a thousand
Times, but I don't know if you know this, but the big episode that was your last, which is the one where we ended up on
the universal lot and I repel across the street and I directed that one.
That was my, that was the first scrubs episode I ever directed.
Wow.
I was there.
I know.
The de-virginization of directing scrubs.
Yeah, because I hit the, remember I hit the wall, I go to the garbage and I pop back up and I go, Molly?
You're funny.
That was the whole premise of what that was.
I had a permission slip from Elliot
that I was allowed to hook up with you.
And then you open it up and it didn't, you know,
she had lied to me.
It wasn't a permission slip.
But anyway, cause Joelle didn't put any reference
to scrubs in this debriefing, Joelle.
I don't know why you would have left out
the most important aspect, Joelle.
The thing y'all were a part of, I didn't know.
Yes, Joelle, I need some dates.
You remember it.
Look, you're the producer princess.
I like your princess.
Yeah, Joelle is a producer princess.
I like how you're a princess.
She is the best.
All right, so- You know what? We're gonna go to break real quick. Oh, we are okay
Yeah, we're gonna break we're gonna break. We'll be right back with Heather and we're gonna ask her about a little movie franchise called the hangover
We'll be right back
What do we want to sing to Heather?
She wants us to sing.
She wants a song and break.
Oh, we could do one of our-
Whatcha tryna get into a dance show?
Whatcha tryna do?
Whatcha tryna get into a dance show?
Whatcha tryna do?
Hey, there was some Wu-Tang forever.
Yeah, we have a sound effects machine, Heather.
Are you guys like best friends? What's the story? Here there was some Wu-Tang forever. Yeah, we have a sound effects machine. Heather.
Are you guys like best friends?
Like what's the story?
Some weeks.
Some weeks.
Wu-Tang forever.
It depends.
Sometimes he's a bitch.
Donald's like a bit hard to get a hold of.
You're the one that's kind of like wants to hang out more.
He's got kids and shit and he's busy.
And he doesn't like one every.
I live my life, Heather.
One mile at a time.
He doesn't ever.
I get it, I get it.
He doesn't ever want to.
So your kids are taking you away from that.
It's all about family, Heather.
It's all about family.
Heather, he doesn't ever want to do anything with you.
I live my life one mile at a time.
He's a bit of an agoraphobe,
and he kind of hides behind the children
to be like, I can't do anything.
It's all about family ever
Yeah, family
Yeah, so I don't like quoting Joel. What am I quoting the Godfather? No, no, it's that car
Heather he doesn't really like to leave his home and and thus I'm just go over and hang out with him and his family
I mean problem solved
Because he don't like kids. No, I like kids
Kids I'd like my own kids
My kids you know like you know other people's kids he likes his own kids your kids are fine
I mean your kids are great. They don't seem too interested in Uncle Zach.
They come in, they say hi,
and then they go off and do their own thing.
They're not exactly like-
Well, Zach, are you having kids?
What's happening with that?
You would be a cute dad.
I don't know.
I think I need to freeze my sperm or something.
I don't know how long I got on these things.
I keep telling him, just start having oops babies.
Just be like, oh shit, my bad.
Yeah, Donald's giving me the worst advice
in saying I should have oops babies.
I don't wanna have an oops baby.
Like I said, I live my life one mile at a time.
It's all about family.
Donald's a very bad, Donald's a bad influence because his advice is to have an oops baby.
We named, I named my baby oops.
This is my darling baby oops, oops brav.
Oh.
My oops baby is still a baby, you know?
No, I know, but Heather, I'd like to fall in love, Heather.
I'd like to find love and I'm single.
I'd like to find love and have a baby.
Are you in a relationship with someone right now?
I'm dating this guy.
His name is John and we've been dating for three years.
Nobody cares, Heather. Yeah, we do.
Nobody cares.
Of course we do.
Okay, you don't have to question.
I just asked exactly.
You know, Heather and I live together. A lot of people wouldn't know that.
We live in the same building.
In the same building.
We live in the same building. And we're on the same co-op board and occasionally when we have to do zoom co-op board meetings, they're
very long and grueling and I text Heather funny messages to see if I can make her laugh
in the zoom window.
Oh you do.
It's the only thing that makes a co-op board meeting fun is playing the game, can I make
Heather Graham laugh?
Oh my God, the co-op board. What a crazy, oh my God.
It's insane.
But we probably shouldn't shit talk our co-op.
Yeah, I was about to say you guys wanted it.
No, we shouldn't.
We love our co-op.
No, we love our co-op.
And I can't highly recommend getting on your co-op board.
It is amazing.
If you want to argue that you should maybe paint the lobby
for three years, it's really a lot of fun.
All right, talk about the hangover.
Another fucking banger.
Heather Graham.
Listen, Heather Graham, I
am sensing a trend.
What is the trend?
What is the trend?
Movie after movie after
hit movie.
The hangover.
But wait, before we get to the hangover.
Why you fucking let her answer my question? Because I don't want to just be about The hangover. Wait, before we get to the hangover. Why you fucking let her answer my question?
Because I don't want it to just be about the hangover.
I want to elaborate a little bit.
Are you feeling the ride right now?
What does it feel like going into the hangover?
You've got a string of hits behind you and now you're going into this.
I'm going to be honest, when I read the hangover, like a lot of us did, it seemed like it was a mess.
What happened that all of a sudden you were like,
I'm doing this movie?
I actually had to audition for The Hangover.
It wasn't like, oh, I'll offer it myself.
Get the fuck out of here.
No, I auditioned. You auditioned
for all of these movies.
Not all.
I did not audition for Austin Powers.
They offered it.
I got offered Bowfinger.
I auditioned for License to Drive, Boogie Nights.
I auditioned for Hangover. And yeah, I think they had offered it to someone more famous who,
I guess, turned it down. And yeah, then I got it, which was so exciting. And at that time,
whatever, Zack and Bradley, they were not as famous as they are today.
Right. Well, that movie reallystarted Bradley's whole career.
It jump-started everybody's career.
No, I'm saying, yeah, of course,
but Bradley's become, you know.
Yeah, Ken Jeong, I mean, he was a doctor before that.
Zach Galifianakis in that movie
is one of the funniest fucking things ever,
with his beeper, his pager.
He really, he...
I have to be honest, I have to confess,
I haven't seen the sequels, but I...
What?
But I...
Number one is the best, because whatever,
I'm not into, and three I have a small part,
but I like number one the best.
All right, in 2001, Donald and I did not make this list,
but you were named one of the 50 most beautiful people.
Donald, I tried out for this.
I read twice.
I did not get it.
I think you were 51.
Oh, come on, Zach.
I know you've gotten your share of like girls
having crushes on you, I'm sure.
Okay?
Heather, I was number 51 and a half, as Donald said.
And- Young starlets, hot, that date you and fall in love with you
because you're so cool.
Okay, Heather, this could be its own separate conversation
during the co-op board meeting.
We don't need to.
Okay, I'm just saying,
it's not like no girls think you're hot, okay?
You guys are both like studly dudes, right?
I'm married. Don't make it about Donald.
You remember saying you're a studly guy?
Okay, I'm talking about you, Zach.
You are definitely a heartthrob for a lot of girls.
Take it.
I've been telling them from one of your movies, dude, you're so money and you don't even know it.
I've been telling them this forever.
I'm going to need Heather saying I'm a heartthrob for my soundboard.
You know it. you know it.
You know it, Zach.
Yeah, I need that one too.
Okay, let's get the soundboard.
All right, now you're segueing into this new chapter
of your career writing and directing.
You've just made your second movie.
I, we've, Donald and I both watched it.
I was able, lucky enough to read it.
It's great. And it's, lucky enough to read it. It's great and it's called
Chosen Family everybody. And how did you? First of all, you wrote, directed and started.
And you started it. You guys, thanks for watching it. And you produced it. We're very good hosts.
We're very good hosts. You wrote, directed, starred and produced it. That's doing a lot.
That's a lot of work. Heather, what was it like? What inspired the story?
It's about a woman who's looking for love and ends up dating a guy with a very problematic child
who hates her.
Is any of this based on a real life experience
or was this totally fiction?
You know, real life always inspires.
But, you know, I did, you know, make it up.
I kind of I wanted to tell a story.
I realized it was a certain point in my life that I was a people pleaser.
Right. And in my journey of how to stop being a people pleaser.
And I did think it's interesting when you date someone that has a kid,
you know, and just that dynamic of being like the kind of awkward step parent.
And just the idea of like how your friends can sometimes be your family more than your family.
Yes, that's true for me because I don't have kids.
And so I feel like my,
I mean, we're joking about that with Donald's kids.
So are you gonna have kids Zach?
What's happening with that?
I'd like to, I just, I haven't,
I haven't found my life partner yet.
Right.
And I'd like to, but if it happens, I'd love to.
Otherwise I'll just-
You seem like you'd be a cute dad.
I think I'd be a fun dad.
But I don't have kids either.
So I can relate.
I don't have kids either.
Yeah, but I don't know that it's gonna happen
at this point.
You know, maybe I fall in love with someone who has kids
and I'm a great stepdad.
I don't know.
I'm 49, so I don't know if, but who knows?
You know, it could still happen. 49 is the new 39. I'm 49, so I don't know if, but who knows, you know, it could still happen.
49 is the new 39.
I like that, Heather, I like that.
I mean, but you're not gonna have kids, right?
You don't wanna do it?
I mean, it's not my plan.
I don't know, I like never say never, right?
I mean, I don't know, I guess I could get a surrogate
or I don't know. You could have a surrogate
or you could adopt or you could,
we could just have a baby that we kind of raised together
in the building.
Should we have one Zach?
Yeah.
Or we'll have a baby.
What if we had a building?
Oh my God, here I go, here comes the oops babies.
This is a good exclusive everybody.
Oops babies.
Stan, I'm gonna need that for this.
Zach, I'm surprised you never had an oops baby.
You know, like Mr. Cool Guy in Hollywood, you never had an oops baby? Well, I'm glad I didn never had an oops baby. You know, like Mr. Cool Guy in Hollywood,
you never had an oops baby?
Well, I'm glad I didn't have an oops baby. Unlike Donald, I don't want an oops baby.
That's why you have so much money, because you never had an oops baby.
Oh my God. All right. Well, I don't... I will say that oops babies are expensive.
As Donald can tell you.
They cost a lot of money.
But look, the relationship for that moment in time
never lasts.
Yeah.
Well, I like the idea of you and I having a co-op baby.
And we just share it.
Yeah, we show a baby in a co-op, one upstairs, one downstairs.
Why not?
I wish to joke with Heather that if we fell in love,
we would have a really sick duplex.
So the oops baby would live well.
All right.
So wait, when does this movie come out?
Let's talk about the movie a little bit more.
When can, and Julia Stiles is in it.
Heather Dirac, she stars, she writes.
The young girl was very funny.
I mean, I hated her.
You're supposed to hate her.
You're supposed to hate her though.
And Thomas Lennon, Andrea Savage, they're cool.
At one point I wanted to tell her,
dude, yo, grow a pair, man,
and tell this little girl to stop.
You know I was invested in the movie
because I was so mad at the kid,
and I wanted to tell the boyfriend to be like,
what the fuck is going on with you
not being able to control your child?
I got invested.
I know, I know.
I feel like in those situations,
it's hard because you want the parent
and then you as the other person,
you're like, do I do something?
Do I say something?
I'm not their parents.
Yeah, the modern dating.
Yeah, I don't know if I could take it.
Like it's gotta be like, and I get it.
I love love and all of that stuff, but.
It is tricky.
I have dated women with children before
and even also I would say my friends are kids,
not Donald's, but other people's kids.
And I see them sort of disrespect my girlfriend
or the friend.
And my instinct is to wanna be like,
hey, don't talk like that.
Or hey, you know.
But you don't know what to do.
Cause like, is it my place?
It's not my place to, you know, but you know what I mean?
Like, so that's sort of-
I think that I've learned like,
through being in different situations like that,
that I'm gonna, that I decided I am gonna say something.
But in here, like a gentle way,
but hey, don't talk like that.
Cause if the parent's not gonna do it,
I feel like it's to the kid's benefit
to get some healthy boundaries, you know? If you can come at them with like a gentle way, it's better to say it. I feel like it's to the kid's benefit to get some healthy boundaries. If you can
comment them with a gentle way, it's better to say something. That's what I learned.
You just got to be tactful because I remember one time saying something to the child and
the gal looked at me like, and I didn't even say anything. I was just like, hey, don't talk to your
mother like that. That's rude. And she looked at me like, wait, what? And I was like, okay, this isn't gonna work out.
I think it's like an over-correction
from like past generations, like being really harsh on kids.
And now everyone's like, oh, we need to be so sweet to kids.
But then like, sometimes you're being too sweet to the kid
where the kids just becomes obnoxious, you know?
That coddling shit gotta go.
The what shit?
What are you like as a dad, Donald?
What do you do? I'm a coddler. But the thing is, it gotta go. What shit? What are you like as a dad, Donald? What do you do? I'm a coddler.
But the thing is, it gotta go.
You don't ever lay the hammer down, do you?
No, man, I'm a coddler.
But it gotta go, man.
No, those kids walk all over.
That's what I'm trying to say, man.
It gotta go.
Listen, once you set the boundary,
once you set the tone, listen, I'm gonna support you.
Even when you're yelling at me, I'm going to support you.
Even when you're yelling at me, I'm still coming at it.
They freaking will walk all over you, man.
You got to set the tone right away.
Yo, man, don't do that shit.
Don't do that shit.
Kids are manipulative.
They are smart.
Or there's going to be problems.
You and I are going to have real problems.
How do people see this movie, Heather?
Okay, well, it's going to be in theaters and on demand starting October 11th and yeah,
check it out.
Check it out everyone, it's really good.
Heather, you have a career to be envied.
You've done so many different things.
Are you going to keep writing and directing because it seems like it's something you're
very passionate about.
I mean, I would love to at the moment.
I just got this cool job in South Africa.
It's this movie called They Will Kill You with Zazie Beats.
And it's a cool, it's like a new line movie and I get to do some action scenes.
So I'm excited about that.
That's awesome.
That's very cool.
I like Zazie Beats.
She's good.
I know.
She's cool.
I'm very, I'm excited.
Yeah, I'm going some salty beats, too.
That sounds fun. And how long will you be in South? I know. I'm going to be there for two months and
yeah, I'm excited about it.
Now, is the boyfriend going to go with you?
How's that going to work with the long distance of it all?
I mean, he's going to come visit.
I mean, I don't think he can just go for the entire time.
But I've never been so I'm excited. I've never been to South Africa. Have you guys been? No, I don't think he can just go for the entire time, but I've never been so I'm excited
I've never been to South Africa. Have you guys been no, I haven't but you should take the boyfriend on a safari
Yeah, or he should take me he should take you on a safari because I hear that that's nice
He got he got it like that. He got
Wait, I went to Kenya and he did take me on a safari last year.
It was fun.
I'd never been and I'd always wanted to go, but it's cool.
Kenya.
I mean, that sounds awesome.
I want to go too.
Have you guys been?
No.
No, but Donald, since I don't have a girlfriend, will you take me on safari?
Oh my God, you guys are such a romantic couple.
We would be so much fucking fun.
I mean, your chemistry is so cute.
I will take you to see other. We would be so much fucking fun. I mean, your chemistry is so cute. Thank you.
Donald, do you realize how much fun we would have on safari?
Monkey flu is gone.
What?
See, he's agoraphobic. He won't do anything.
Monkey flu is you. Look at the nude.
See, he won't leave the valley. He's not going to safari.
You guys are adorable. You're adorable. Heather Graham, we love you. Thank you for coming leave the valley. He's not going to the safari. All right, Heather, you love him. You guys are adorable. You're adorable.
Heather Graham, we love you.
Thank you for coming on the show.
All right, I love you.
You guys are...
We watch your with Zach and Dono.
What a great guest, huh?
Doug, we had Mercedes Lane on the show, bro.
We had Roller Girl.
Dude, Mercedes Lane was the it factor. We had a roller girl dude Mercedes Lane was the was the it
Factor when I was a youth you telling me when you saw roller girl you weren't like Jesus Mary and Joseph
That's another that's another side of Donald that
Doesn't come out often but but freaking Mercedes Lane was the one when I was a kid
That's like freaking John Cryer.
That's like, that's like, that's a freaking iconic character in the freaking zeitgeist
of teen movies.
She was like the ultimate way out of your league character.
Like in some movies, the girl was kind of odd, like in some kind of wonderful, because
of where she lived.
This girl was so fine when I was a kid
that Corey Feldman, the fucking cutest motherfuck,
Luca, the motherfucking cutest motherfucker on the planet.
Lucas, Lucas.
Lucas, yeah, Lucas.
I love Lucas.
Lucas was out of her league, was out of her,
I mean, sorry, she was out of his league. The cutest dude on the league was out of her women. Sorry. She was out of his league
The cutest dude on the planet was odd. She was out of his league. That's all right
Anyway, we love Heather Graham and that was nice to see her. What a great episode. Thank you everybody for tuning in
check out bad monkey and
What else we want to say we love you. Yeah, we love you guys so much Joel That we all should know So gather round to hear our
Gather round to hear our
Scrubs we watch show with Zach and Dono
Mm-hmm