Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - My T.C.W. with Bill Lawrence

Episode Date: September 3, 2020

On this week's episode, JD falls for a coma patient's wife. In the real world, Bills back! Plus, the guys take their first fan-call from India. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I used to have so many men. How this beguiling woman in her 50s... She looked like a million bucks. ...scams a bunch of famous athletes out of untold fortunes... Nearly $10 million was all gone. It's just unbelievable. Hide your money in your old rich man because she is on the prowl. Listen to Queen of the Con, season five, The Athlete Whisperer on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Beauty Translated Season 3 is coming soon with what? A second host? I'm Carmen Laurent, and this season I am joined full-time by world-renowned Janie Danger. Janie, what are we talking about in season three? We're talking about life, Carmen.

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This is how we do it. Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na. This is how we do it. This is how we do it. Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na. This is how we do it. Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na. Good morning, good afternoon. Hi, everybody. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, everybody. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Holy cow. Well, Joelle, first of all. Joelle, you look beautiful. I don't know what's happening. You look amazing. I've been shopping. Oh, my gosh. Well, Joelle, first of all. Joelle, you look beautiful. I don't know what's happening. You look amazing. You got a beautiful dress on. Oh, my gosh. Oh, I see.

I didn't realize there was a deadline. And Daniel, you've changed your look and your background. I am, I mean, I guess I can tell the fans. I am currently in New York City. Oh, wow. Indeed. We're all jumping around the world. Indeed.

I'm meeting my girlfriend's family. You know what's messed up? The two black people aren all jumping around the world. Indeed. I'm meeting my girlfriend's family. Joelle and I are. You know what's messed up? The two black people aren't jumping around the world. Stop it. The two black people aren't jumping around the world at all. Stop. I had to meet my girlfriend's family for the first time.

I'm sorry. Oh, congratulations. Oh, how'd that go? That's amazing. Thank you. How'd it go? Did they like you? What's not to like?

You're a charming motherfucker. Well, you honor me. I really appreciate that. Haven't met yet. We got COVID tests this morning. So when we come back with negative results and we quarantine a little bit, then we'll be okay meeting people. But for the time being, we're shacked up, just kind of chilling.

Did you do the rapid test? It is. I think so. Yeah. We went to the hospital and got the nose swab. It's my first time getting a nose swab. This is the thing everybody's doing. They go deep. They go deep like Donald. This isn't nose swab. This is the thing everybody's doing. They go deep. They go deep like

Donald. This is the thing everybody's doing nowadays. Everybody's just getting that rapid test to make sure that they can hang out with each other. You should have told me. You could have hung out in my apartment. I'm so sorry. It's sitting there empty. I didn't want to bother you. I'm so sorry. Next time I'll

bother you for it. Dano, that's very interesting because when I ask for that shit, he tells me no every time. Yeah bother you for it danil that's very interesting because when i ask for that shit he tells me no every time yeah you know why you know why because danil will fucking be respectful i can picture you having like a party and smoking fucking jazz cabbage one i don't have any friends other than you and danil and joelle and danil and joelle and I don't have any friends other than you and Daniel and Joelle. And Daniel and Joelle and I don't hang out, okay? Not yet. Not yet. Wait till the tour bus.

Wait till the tour bus. Oh, baby. Oh, my God. That's so dangerous. That's so dangerous. No, but I can trust. I can picture trusting Daniel in my apartment, and I know that nothing would happen.

With you, I can picture, picture like you'd forget some candle next to the drapes and then backdraft. I find that one offensive. Because what makes you think that I like candles? What? What the fuck is that about? That's offensive. I don't like candles.

Everybody likes candles. I am one of offensive. I don't like candles. Everybody likes candles. I am one of those people who does not like candles. I think, I mean, my wife loves candles, so they burn in our house. But I'm one of those people who's like, you're going to light a candle? Is this like a fire hazard thing? I just don't. I mean, it smells waxy and scented. The only candles I do like is at the hotel.

I mean, it smells waxy and scented. The only candles I do like is at the hotel. Whatever that hotel is that's in New York City, and the lobby smells like this certain candle, and apparently this candle costs a shit ton of money. I want to say it's the Bowery. The Bowery, probably. Yeah, the Bowery.

Is that the one with the club in the lobby? It's not a club. It's like a really sexy lounge. There's one that has literally a club right next door like on some nights you come downstairs and there's a club popping right next door it's like and it and you can easily you can easily what is the other one there's a bunch of them anyway my point is josh rayden stayed at the bowery so much they gave him a an embroidered bathrobe with his name on it. And when he would stay, the bathrobe would be lying on the bed.

Would he have to leave the bathrobe there when he left? Yeah, literally at the Bowery, when you spend enough money there and stay there long enough, you get your own embroidered robe and they lie it on your bed when you're there. And when you're not there, they store it away in the embroidered robe room. That's hilarious. That's some baller shit. Good for rating. Good for rating. Did you see what... First of all, I need to know... First of all, I have a special surprise for you on this episode. I planned. Okay.

Donald, Joelle, and Dan will know what the surprise is. You got me the fucking... Oh, shit, you got the... Zach, you got me the simulator! You got me the simulator! Now, the simulator. You got me the simulator. No, no, calm down. You got me the simulator. Not that good.

It's less exciting than that. It's not a $6,000 golf simulator, no. I really appreciate that though. By the way, speaking of surprises, I don't even know who 2 Chainz is. I imagine he's a very famous rapper, right? Yeah, 2 Chainz. Did you just say two chains yeah do you do you like two chains you guys are you two chains fans because the three of you i

think like rap right two chains is iconic i was gonna say you know i'm just certainly a city boy fan most certainly jump man jump man jump no that's future right them boys up to something that's him in the future right now i've never heard a two chain song i imagine he's very successful and i can tell you that he's friends with kanye west because i went on the interwebs today and kanye west gave two chains an amphibious atv that is the coolest looking thing i've ever seen kanye west is a billionaire dude no i know but he still gave his friend an amphibious ATV and he put a plaque on it. You got, I mean, if you're listening to this, just Google it. It's the coolest thing ever.

And I'm hoping that one day Donald will get rich enough to buy me one. If I get a billion dollars in my bank account, when I should say, when I get a billion dollars in my bank account. A billion? Yeah, I think you need a billion. Oh, man. It's so, it's called a Sherma or something? Hold on.

I saw it on the internet. Because Kanye probably paid for the thing and still had a billion after he paid for it. Joel, can you look up what it's called? Just look up amphibious ATV that 2 Chainz got from Kanye. Sherp ATVs? Yeezy Sherp ATVs? Yes. Yes, you guys.

Is it Yeezy branded? It? Yeezy Sherp ATVs? Yes. Is it Yeezy branded? It's Yeezy branded? Well, he tricked it out, and I'm sure there's a dope sound system in it. Yeah, he did. Did you see the picture? You guys, if you're listening, you have to Google image this thing. Everybody needs one. Everybody needs a Sherp.

Do you know what I want? I want the Sherp ATV that turns into a sub. I want the sub version. I want the one that when, because look, it's great to be able to go over hills and it's great to be able to do like, you know, go in the water when being chased.

But you know what's even better than that? To be like, that's it, fuck it, I'm out. And then dive. And then dive to the depths of the ocean. Depths that,

you know, some people, like, dude, I want the freaking spy car. I want the spy car. Did you see the picture? It flies, it's on ground, and water.

Dude. I want that G.I. Joe shit. Land and sea and air. Yo, Joe! Dude, did you see the picture? Joel just sent it to us. It's fucking amazing. Fighting for freedom over...

Wherever there's trouble over land and sea and air G.I. Joe is there oh my god that shit is tight if an erection was an ATV that shit looks like a that shit looks like a cobra vehicle

it looks like a cobra vehicle from the G.I. Joe cartoon he has it blessed with a proverb. Yeah, he engraved a proverb on a plaque and put it on the thing. This is wild. You guys, my only wish for Donald Faison is that he gets rich enough to buy me that thing. Love it. I hope that one day that is possible.

Hey, Daniel, tell me when the surprise is present. The surprise is ready and waiting. Okay, so Donald, I got you a present today. Is it a simulator? No, it's a, you know, Donald, for listeners out there, we were hoping to invite Sarah Chalk on today because she's prominent and very funny in this episode. But she is just, I think she's like camping in the middle of nowhere Canada with her family. And so she couldn't come.

So I reached out to everybody's favorite guest. Let's bring him in. Chase and Ronald. Donald, Donald, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Bill Lawrence is in the house! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Look how happy he is. Bill, look how much happiness you bring Donald. Yes! Look how happy he is. Bill, look how much happiness you bring Donald. Yes! Dude! How could I be a surprise? I think about every episode. This is very exciting.

But still, it's always a good episode when Bill's on. Count on it being a good episode when Bill is on. The fans love it. I love it. Zach loves it. I'm going to tell you one thing. I was hoping you were a golf simulator, Bill. I'm not going to lie.

Bill, I go, I got you a surprise. He goes, a golf simulator? By the way, I understand that. Even, by the way, even just one of those nets you put in your backyard and hit into, that would have been as good as me. No, no, no no no no no

this is way better than no it's by the way donald it's not one of those tiny nets that catches golf balls with a mat it's for their perfect man that'll be that'll be the next surprise bill i'm i have to tell you that um i love you so much but one thing that really annoys me is in my in my social media when i'm scrolling and i see and i'm'm just posted a podcast that Donald and I did. And I'm, I think it's funny and I'm want to know what everyone thinks. And you weren't on the particular one. And the first comment is more bill,

please. That's all this is about for me. Now it means it's working. That's my, I really, I really hate it. I hate it because Donald and I finally launched something successful without you, and you're slowly infiltrating the little guy.

How could this be considered without Bill? It's a scrubs rewatch podcast. Well, you know what I fucking mean. It's totally, of course, with him, but he wasn't. I just think it's funny that everywhere, like, merch ideas, everyone's like, how about Bill on a hat saying 5678? By the way way i'm not doing a ton of retweeting lately but i will say anybody that that tweets me and says bill i'm

enjoying your podcast with zach and donald i immediately retweet that it makes me so happy it makes me so happy i know that you love it and and uh and and but the truth is that you're very funny and the people love bill lawrence and also we have to say congratulations because uh i don't know if the three of you who are not bill no but his uh show ted lasso is a giant hit people fucking love it thunderous applause dan thunderous applause dan oh jeez thank you zachie it was cool by the way it was way, it was one of those things I wish I could have done in America because then I love bringing the people back onto shows that I've worked with before, so I'd see you all.

So it was such a gift that you were in London and got to direct one, ZB. That was super cool. I know. I know. And if you were shooting right now, I could be directing another one because I'm here. But you have some of your favorites on the show already. I didn't know you had Brett on the show, man. Oh, yeah, yeah.

By the way, I forgot. Donald, but the advantage, Brett lives there. That guy, yes. You know what I mean? Donald did a pilot with me. And Brett, by the way, Donald, this is what our life has become. It's like what Zach used to do with girls. Zach's in London.

Brett lives in London with a love. Brett Goldstein is a writer and producer, and he starred in a pilot that Donald and I did together, and he's one of the producers and stars of Ted Lasso. He plays Roy, and I'm trying to make Zach be friends with him. I'm like, Zach, you've got a friend with a girlfriend your age. Dude, you will love him. I don't know if you've hung out with him yet you will love him he is our speed we joked about a downline joked about going on a mandate because we had shay on as you know bill

because you you uh you did interrupting bill and we joked about like wanting if it weren't covid like wanting to to go out and hang out with shay but it's but we're talking about how it's weird in your 40s to be like what do you how do, but we're talking about how it's weird in your 40s to be like, how do you start a new male friendship? It's like, hey, would you like to go on a man date? And Bill is trying to set me up on a man date with Brett while I'm in London. Dude, you should hang out with him.

You guys would laugh a lot, man, and he doesn't give a shit that you're Zach Braff and we're on Scrubs or anything like that. No, I know. I already worked with him, dude. I directed him on Ted Lasso, and he was delightful and funny as shit. Does he write episodes, too? Yeah, because he's a writer first.

He's another one of those people we have to all be friends with. He created his own show on AMC that comes out in two months. It just got picked up for a second season. So he's got his own show. He's starring in another one. He wrote a big movie in the uk called nan and he's got a very big podcast that he wants you both to be on he's his podcast not to promo it on yours is called films to be buried with and they sometimes shoot it

at the british film institute and he basically just interviews you about what movies you'd like to be known for as your favorite donald will be all about Star Wars for you. When you die, what are the movies you want your kids to see? What movies influenced you the most and all that stuff? He's awesome. Wow. That's cool. That's awesome.

I'm going to be on it because he's already hit me up and our mandate process has begun. We are chatting. We are chatting. He is also, by the way, way zach coupled up with a uh younger charismatic stunningly beautiful and fun uh british woman like yourself i mean it's as if you guys were hurt yet hey by the way who her name is beth but because they use the word fit over there if a girl is very attractive or if a boy is very attractive he started calling her fit beth when they first started dating and it has somehow stuck as her nickname.

So when you call him up, you'd be like, hey, what are you up to? He's like, oh, I'm just here having dinner with Fit Beth. And I think it's one of the all-time solid British nicknames. Well, I'm excited to take him on a double date with Fit Florence. Hey, we haven't started the show with singing yet, and I think since it is your catchphrase, you might want to do the honors. I don't like to do it when people ask me to do it.

Nobody's asking you, Joe. Nobody's asking you. Five, six, seven, eight! Stories about a show we made About a bunch of docs and nurses And a janitor who loved to hate. I said, here's a story that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.

I'm going to try something new with the breakdown. I get very excited about the breakdowns. My karma's breakdown was fun. You're not going to get excited about this one, Bill, because people started freaking talking trash on the internet about, dude, JD does the summary of life and everything at the end of every episode. Please just tell us what's going on because I have no idea. Then part of me said, it's a rewatch podcast.

You've had over 10 years to catch up and watch these episodes. So what's the problem? And people are still beefing. So this is actually going to be a summary of the episode. I just want to double check that you're a 46-year-old man who's been in the public eye for most of your life and

some comment a guy made on the internet upset you? Just double checking? Absolutely, yes. And it wasn some comment a guy made on the internet upset you? Just double checking? Absolutely, yes. And it wasn't just a guy. It's girls and guys. Okay, so literally probably three people? I would say about six. Six people have unraveled you?

That's awesome. Six people out of the half a million, over half a million people that follow me uh complained and now so wait you're saying donald that's just so i'm clear you're saying that someone trolled the the thing you do and now you're going to change it and you're going to change it to what i'm just going to give a summary of what happens in the episode i'm not sure what you should do by episode. You know what you should do, by the way? You know what you should do as protests once in a while? You should just read Zach's end voiceover word for word as Zach.

I was thinking about doing that. At the end of the day. Bill, as you told us, they don't really make much sense out of context. They're like, at the end of the day, the friends that you have are the best friends you're ever going to have. And that's why you need to have friends. And let other things happen. You're using have a little too much, and that's bad writing, buddy. You're losing that. You used have three times.

The friends you have are going to be the friend. At the end of the day, the friends you have will always be the friends you get. So be happy with what you have obtained yeah yeah all you need all all you need is a slow motion crane shot and a sad indie song and i got tears in my eyes donald knows the system donald gets how it works come on now well you're the one that taught me that actually you're the one that taught me that because i it's no bullshit bill you're the one that taught me that. Actually, you're the one that taught me that because it's no bullshit. Bill, you're the one that taught me that. And it's so bad that I go to other jobs now and writers will have, you know, it'll say something like that.

It'll be like, we have to get out of here because we have to find a way to, you know, do something. And I'm like, we're saying we have to like twice. Is there another way that we can do this? We have to get out of here. We got to find a way, do something. And I'm like, we're saying we have to like twice. Is there another way that we can do this? And then we have to get out of here. We gotta find a way out. Come on! And I see writers look at me like, how the fuck, who, who, who? And it's always like, I always want to be like, well, you know, legendary

comedy writer Bill Lawrence taught me this. Oh, I like legendary. You guys can do it however you'd like, but just so you know, Bill Lawrence chooses to do it this way. All right, so if I understand this correctly, you're just going to summarize the facts of the episode now because you've been successfully trolled. Yes.

Okay. Just this one time. And I didn't know Bill was going to be on the show. If I would have known Bill was going to be on the show, I would have said, fuck those guys. Yeah, by the way, this is what you get when you complain, petulant recap. I like that. Right, right.

This is what you get. This is what you get when you complain. Ready? One, two, three. All right, this episode shows every level of the relationship. Elliot and Nurse Flowers are at the end of theirs. Jordan and Cox are at the end of theirs jordan and cox are of the brand new baby phase turk and carla are now engaged and are feeling the pressure of having to follow

through and jd is single and ready to mingle with tasty coma wife there you go that's what i don't like this episode i don't i don't i don't i don't like it i know you don't like it. I know you don't like it. Yeah. That's what they get. For me, I have to be honest with you, Donald. There was something nice about you as this many years later looking back and seeing the episode as a whole and giving your emotional sort of summary of it from someone who wasn't really, to what you've said before, wasn't really looking at it very closely at the time. And now, this many years later, you're looking back at it and seeing something. I think that's very valuable. And I think, listen, if you're one of the six people that successfully trolled Donald, you can type in episodes of Scrubs 216 summary and you'll be home run there. Or go to Trevor Wiki and he'll freaking summarize it for you. This is what you get for being petty.

This is what you get. Because, look, Donald and Zach can't ask for this, but I would ask people that are listening to, that when they love Donald's old summations, to please let him know after this episode that you love the way he used to do it because I found it much more passionate and I loved hearing him talk about it. I like it the other way, too.

I'm not going to lie to you guys. Yeah, so that was the only time, by the way, no matter how long we do this podcast, that is the only time you will ever hear Donald do a true, boring summary of the episode. I like that you discover something, Donald, because let's be honest, you were either on jazz cabbage or playing a video game and not really paying attention to what we were doing.

So now, 20 years later, you're looking back. Well, I'll tell you, you know, this episode, it really makes you think about the relationship that I'm going through right now. It made me look at that, you know what I mean? My wife and I have surpassed every level of relationship in this episode. We've had the kid and they're growing now.

We've already did the beginning dates. We did the breakup and then get back together stuff. Like everything that's happened in this episode, my wife and I have done. And that's the one thing because these characters are so new. That's the's happened in this episode my wife and i have done and that's the one thing because these characters are so new that's the one thing in this episode that is missing if you ask me uh is the successful we've done it all but these guys are finding each other

and getting to know each other yeah in my tasty coma wife by the way this is episode this is a really good episode i i feel. I laughed so many times, dude. Bill, I'm so glad. First of all, I know that you technically write them all because you're overseeing the writer's room, but your name is actually on this one, along with Adam Bernstein, who's directed the pilot.

And so I was just so happy that I happened to ask you to come on because not only is it a great seminal episode with a lot of great stuff in it, and very moving, I thought, at the end, but you happened to ask you to come on because not only is it a great seminal episode with a lot of great stuff in it and very moving, I thought, at the end, but you happened to be one with your name on the script. So I was doubly glad you were here. And Laverne has the best line in the show. Oh, this is going to be a good episode. This is going to be a good episode.

Which one? I think I wrote down that line. Oh, good show today. That's what she says. Good show today. Good show today. that line. Oh, good show today. That's what she says. Good show today. Good show today. Yeah. Good show today.

That's it. Six, four, down. I wrote that down. That was funny. So the show opens up guys with, I'm trying to go in for a slow kiss with Rowdy and the audience is,

the visual makes the audience go, what the fuck is going on? And then you reveal the Donald is coaching me because I haven't been with a woman in a while and I'm rusty. And he's giving me some drills, kissing drills. You always go the wrong way. I think you always go left or right, right? One of the two? I always go right.

I always go right. Okay. Basically, I just wanted to say out loud that Bill Lawrence got on on television network television, a show that opens with a man, French kissing a taxidermy dog. It makes me so happy. You know, it made me happy about that section. I know Donald's heard it before.

I wanted Donald to tell me if it was real or not. When you're working your rap with that dog, I think you use your young zach braff sexy voice and uh now you know when he's like hey you want some kibble um and i put and i put i put my finger on his lips and i wanted to ask donald if he ever heard that sexy voice for real if zach tried to lay that sexy girl that sexy voice on people back in the day. No, you know, no. I've never been next to Zach when he has laid his game down. Yeah, you've heard me flirt with a woman before.

I've never heard you. I've seen you be like, I'm going in, and then you go in, and then come back like, oh, yeah, it worked. But I've never been privy to, hey, seen, I've never been privy to, hey girl. I've never been privy to the music. In the song where the bass finally gets to talk,

hey girl, we've come to the end of the road, baby. I've never heard that moment with you. Well, my game isn't that good. But my game is certainly certainly uh i don't have a low uh bass hey baby voice right um i did i did think it was just i loved i what i loved about the show bill is what i'm saying is that i'm i'm saying in a joking way but i just love

that how bizarre this show is that it opens like this and, and then just when you think like, okay, that was random and weird way later on, when I go to kiss Amy smart, you call it back. Cause here Donald's like, no, man, you go right too much. You got to go left when I'm leaning into kiss. And then later I go to kiss Amy smart. And she's like, Ooh, you went left as if, as if by the way, anyone has ever used that as a judgment factor for kissing, whether you went left or right. No one has ever said that to anybody, right? It makes me think, and if you're listening right now, think about it. Do you have a normal way that you lean in to make out with someone?

I'm doing it alone by myself right now. I think I probably do normally favor left. Do you? I go right. I don't know. I go right, dude. I go right. Joel, do you go left right i don't know i don't know right dude i go right joelle donald and i lock donald i would lock in well because we both go right joelle you go right it feels natural i don't know yeah right right okay i don't know i think i might be a lefty

when it comes to the lean-in well here's my question though does she go left because that's the only way it works but is if she goes left also. I don't know. I got to tell you, I'm going to try later on and see what happens, but I think I'm a lefty when it comes to that. Bill, I couldn't help but wonder when Krista is being so incredibly horrible to Johnny C. during as they deal with their newborn, if any of this could possibly have been based on real life.

Yeah, dude. deal with their newborn if any of this could possibly have been based on real life yeah dude uh you guys are well aware that i was just at this stage of having kids with krista and that uh i without a doubt lived in a world that i was supposed to remove my shoes and wash my hands even though i still wasn't allowed to hold my daughter. And it was a lot of get out of the room, don't make noise, turn that light off, go get me this, go do that. So, yes. By the way, the only thing that was different was I was not nearly shirtless as often as Johnny C. chose to be around his wife and newborn. Otherwise, it was mostly the same.

So Johnny C. chose to be around his wife and newborn. Right. Otherwise, it was supposed to be the same. Yeah. So Johnny C. is naked. Now, why do you, when you're in the writer's room, are you guys at this point, you know, end of season two sort of laughing? Like, oh, Johnny C. loves to be naked. Let's make him be naked and show off his muscles. Do you really think that we write Johnny C. shirtless or, you know, or that one we did it he normally decides on his own but this one we did script because

for full disclosure we had seen so many scenes that we hadn't written it that we decided to write it once and have her say we all get it you love your body which was a writer response, yes. Then he puts on a Shockey jersey. Is that a real sports player, Shockey?

Yeah, Jeremy Shockey was a tight end for the New York Giants. He played really well for us. You know, his football career was short. He had a pretty short football career, actually. He was really good, but then got hurt a bunch, yeah? Yeah, like a lot of head, like he broke a pretty short football career actually he was really good but then got hurt a bunch yeah yeah like a lot of head like he broke a lot of bones i think and got his head hit but he was a tight end he was like you know uh before tony gonzalez tight ends were pretty much just blocking and everything like that and then tony and shocky and then that dude on dallas and there's a bunch of them now. Shockey. Yeah, there's a bunch of them now.

And the best one ever is by far Gronkowski. Like, Gronkowski's taken everything that all of these other tight ends have done and turned it into a receiver role that is very, like, it's unheard of to have a bunch of receivers and your best receiver be your tight end. You know what I mean? Yeah, watch Zach's eyes roll back into his head when I say, but don't you think Travis Kelsey is also kind of coming up behind Gronk right now?

He blows his brains out. I have a question. I have a question. Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach, I'm sorry, but we're talking about tight ends right now. I literally like J.Dd i swear to god you said tight end and like jd i went off and started thinking about what i picture as a tight end a nice firm bottom and then you guys pulled me back when you said gronkowski because i think i know what that guy looks like. Can you explain to the listeners who don't follow football, what does a tight end do?

A tight end is basically a blocker, really. It's like somebody who is on the line and blocks for the quarterback but is eligible to catch the ball also if needed. You know what I mean? So you only have a certain bunch of players that can actually catch the ball. It's illegal for other players to do it. Oh, I didn't know that. Their position, right.

So you're saying not every player is allowed to catch the ball. No. They have to be an eligible receiver. Sometimes someone will have to tell the refs that on a certain formation he is eligible, like a lineman can suddenly be eligible, but not everybody can catch the ball i had i did not know that and then uh and then what donald to make it more interesting what donald and i are talking about is the position has evolved because these

guys are so big they're too these the new modern tight end is too big to be covered by a little defensive back or the ones that cover receivers and uh too fast to be covered by a little defensive back or the ones that cover receivers and too fast to be covered by a big linebacker because these guys have now become the kind of ultimate athletes on football teams. These Travis Kelseys and Gronks and Tony Gonzalez. Right, if you have a good tight end, you are. You got a good tight end, Donald. There you go.

Now we're back. Thank you very much. Thank you. Now we're back. And we're back. you very much thank you now we're back and we're back gronkowski's come out of retirement because oh thank god yeah dude he's he's probably the most popular titan ever in the history of titans he's a character he's like i once worked out with this dude and when i tell you holy shit like the workout i was doing was a warm-up for him you know what i mean and i was i was sweating and jumping and lifting weights and everything like that and it was literally a warm-up

for him and then he went into something else after so you know um let's talk about how uh he's decided to call me dog's names um well let's talk about these pratfalls first though man because there are a couple of pratfalls in the opening that are pretty dope one ricky schroeder rick schroeder has a great pratfall over the thing with the blindfold on yeah and then you have a great pratfall yeah epic one yeah i even winced it myself i was like how did that not hurt because it's definitely me it, and it looked like it fucking hurt. It looked like it really, really hurt. And you add the noise on those, too.

It seemed violent. I liked it. I feel like if there was a sport that was stunt pratfalls, I could be good at it. Well, your best pratfall of all time is with Tacey, Como Wife, either later this year or next year when you fall down the stairs at her husband's funeral that's next episode i think i think that's coming up um also i want to give a shout out to uh page peterson she's been on the show four times now and we've yet to and we've yet to talk about her she was the nurse that said i'm having surgery right now or i'm having uh whatever it is right now and loving it.

This is her fourth time on the episode, and she's the one that says to you, aren't you the one that likes to make out with dogs right before you go into? Wait, did you know her? How did you know her name? Or you looked it up? I looked it up. Oh, yeah. That's cool. Yeah.

It's good of you to give her a shout out because she actually, she's she, she's got a lot of funny one liners and she did a good job. It's also so hard back then to have continuity and do a network show that like, you're hoping that people would see the same nurses and doctors that don't necessarily speak every week, but still have those people be in the background every week, you know? So it's cool. And we were able to do that with somebody. Yeah. This is her last, I think this is her last episode, unfortunately.

Well, I'm hoping that's because she went and got lots more work somewhere else. I believe she did. I believe she did. I believe she did get another job. She's talented and funny and pretty. So those are good qualities to have in Hollywood. Speaking of which, it leads to a conversation

about Amy Smart, which we're going to have after this break, because she certainly is pretty and she certainly is funny and she does a great job in this episode. So we will be right back after these fine words. daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay, and me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

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And we're back! And we're back. Come on. Bill, you got to do it at the same time. I got to tell you, man, I'm still, by the way, so what's the early verdict on interrupting Bill on that? I love it. How are you guys feeling about it? I love it.

And I think the fans love it, too. Oh, yeah. The fans love it. And I felt bad because your tone in the second one was sort of melancholic. And I don't know if you heard the last episode, but I was like, I think we may have hurt Bill's feelings. I did. I was like, Bill, you're allowed to go on as long as you want.

If you want to do a seven-minute monologue, it is fine by us. The fans love you. By the way, we didn't hurt Bill's feelings. Donald said he was cool with it. Oh, fucking asshole. Donald said I'm fine. Donald said I think the quote is, I'm fine with it. It's Bill. I'm fine with it. Oh my God.

I can't remember specifically, but I think the quote is, I'm fine with it. It's Bill. I'm fine with it. Oh my God. And then if I remember, I'm just, I can't remember specifically, but I think it was exactly Zach who said no, it's Bill goes on and on and on and on. No, it was great. The funny thing was, wait, the funny thing was on your last bit of trivia, the answer was Elizabeth Banks and I didn't get it at all, but Donald knew it. And the only

thing you'd recorded is, thanks, Zach. I'm sure you're the one who got it. It was me. By the way, I know, but Donald knew it. And the only thing you'd record is, thanks, Zach. I'm sure you're the one who got it. It was me. By the way, I know, but I don't expect because of Donald's rep on the show for him to remember this stuff. So when he does get one, I'm happily surprised. Are you kidding me? When Elizabeth Banks came on the show, I thought

it was the biggest deal. After watching the 40-year-old virgin, and he goes, I'm going to put my bicycle in your trunk, and she goes, hey-oh. And then probably shut. Dude, are you kidding me? When she came on the show, I was like, I'm paying attention to this. I want to talk about something.

Before we go forward with the Amy Smart thing, Ralphie's back on this episode. So funny, that kid, yeah. And somebody said to me on the interweb, and I'm not sure if this is true, because now I didn't remember the young man's name, but apparently Ralphie is in Shazam. Oh, shit, is he really? That's cool. Apparently Ralphie's in Shazam either as one of the kids

or as one of the superheroes. He wouldn't be a kid. Wouldn't he have to be like 36? This is 19 years ago. He's not a kid. Or then as one of the superheroes. He wouldn't be a kid. Wouldn't he have to be like 36? This is 19 years ago. He's not a kid. Or then as one of the superheroes. He could be because there's a whole bunch of Shazams at the end of Shazam. At the end of Shazam.

Spoiler alert. Joel, will you try and figure out, and maybe Joel, if you could send us in the chat a picture of what he looks like today because I'm dying to know. I actually saw that movie in the theaters because Zach is the star of it. plays shazam in that no no bill that's a different that's a different sack what if i was in shazam you guys would all have amphibious atvs like uh like kanye west just gave three chains also i don't think you're correct about Joey being in Shazam. Okay, but it wasn't me that said it. Somebody said it to me. That person was wrong.

That's the same person that was wrong about how brilliant your summaries of the episodes are. Thank you. Thank you, person who said that Joey was in Shazam. You were wrong. You were correct about something, though, last week. Joey was in the gag reel um absolutely thrown into the glass door exiting the uh by accident yeah i remembered that tossed into

it i also remembered on the gag reel for those of you who'd like to go back and look at them and by the way if you don't know we sometimes use the words interchangeably uh for those of you who don't know uh gag and blooper reel are are something we cut together at the end of every season they're just kind of the mistakes funny funny mistakes from when we're filming and i think they're all on youtube you can look up for example season two scrubs it'll either say blooper or gag they're kind of used interchangeably and they're very funny. And, and one of the things, not only is Ralphie hitting the door on there, but in this episode, when Donald falls over rowdy, do you remember this?

I don't know if a crew member, a crew member was like holding up rowdy to make sure he didn't fall over or something. We had rowdy. It wasn't held up. Zach, we had rowdy because he had trouble standing at that point because some of his leg strength has deteriorated. Rowdy had to be kind of fastened.

How was Rowdy Riggs? I forgot. Rowdy was fastened. He was kind of fastened to the little carpeting thing there to stand upright. You know what I mean? And the assumption was when Donald would hit Rowdy that he would go down. But I still couldn't. I still couldn't.

The joke is I've tripped over Rowdy, but Rowdy couldn't fall or it didn't look right. And so I had to pretend that I tripped over Rowdy without knocking Rowdy over. over rowdy without knocking rowdy over and so we had rowdy fastened up to to stay up as if rowdy was solid and donald just fell down not like fell on top of rowdy so on the gag reel what you'll see is that donald trips over rowdy rowdy falls down and then magically pops back up and i remember donald you started i read the whole crew started cackling it was so fucking funny i when i saw the when i saw the gag on this when i saw the the the stunt fall on this i went oh my god i remember that moment and this is like 19 years ago that's how funny it was it was very disturbing too because it made the dog seem

you know like it was still kind of in there slugging away. Well, Bill, what was the story about Amy? I mean, I'm sure that I had, if you had asked me and you had said, hey, we need a very funny, attractive new love interest for you. If the year was 2002, I probably was like, Amy Smart. Because I think that, you know, she's obviously a beauty, but I really think she's got comedic chops. And I thought she was really, really good in this episode. Well, you know, it's, we had, randomly, you'd be surprised, but a lot of times casting,

especially if it's not huge stock casting, starts much like Donald said about Elizabeth Banks, who obviously is a huge star now. And back there was doing, uh, um, whatever horse movie was and Virgin, you know,

and all that stuff and just kind of getting her career going. What was the horse movie? She was, uh, she played Jeff Bridges. Young wife is, uh, no one even knows.

That's her. The what? The horse whisperer. Nope. Did you guys, you guys get this? See biscuit. She played Jeff Bridges, young wife in that with brown hair.

And she was also in Catch Me If You Can, I think, with Leo. I think she had a Leo. Yes. She was also in all of the Spider-Man movies as the secretary for J. J. J. Jameson. That's his name, right?

J. Jonah Jameson. J. Jonah Jameson. And then so but the point is like that sometimes casting will come especially when people are starting to dig the show and we'll do it from us having watched a movie and i think uh a bunch of the writers in the room saw road trip because they cast both uh amy smart and remember dj qualls or whatever his name the tall kind of dorky they

were both from road trips. I'd be like, Hey, this is a funny movie with people doing comedy. And, uh, the cool thing was scrubs at this point had reached a stage that when you reached out to people like that,

if they had seen the show, like Amy was really cool about going, yeah, I'll come to a bunch, you know? So, uh, I think she was,

I knew her. I knew her. I knew her a little bit as a, uh, through mutual friends and, um, through me, dude. No, not through you through, uh, Josh. Yeah, man. Actually. Well, I knew her a little bit through mutual friends. Through me, dude. No, not through you.

Through Josh Radin, actually. Well, I've known Amy since Road Trip. When I was doing Remember the Titan, she was doing Road Trip. And then I did Felicity, and she was on Felicity at the same time as I was. And then she came and did Scrubs. So I'm pretty sure at some point there was, and it might've been Josh Radin, but I'm pretty sure. Yeah, but Josh was dating, Josh was dating at the time,

her, Amy's best friend. Okay. A woman named Debra. And so I, anyway, I knew her a little bit and whatever happened, happened. And she's just great on the show. And I thought it was very funny, Bill, the setup you wrote,

where you're setting up the saddest story ever. Like her husband's in a coma. She's been left all alone. She's a young bride. It's so tragic. And that you're like totally leading the audience down this hole. And then it cuts to the classic scrub,

sexy slow-mo turnaround with the wind and everything. It was so funny. Yeah, I think your voice was like, also, she happens to be incredibly hot, and everybody calls her Tasty Como Wife or something like that. Yeah. I remember getting a note on Tasty Como Wife of the, I don't think it was a huge one,

but whoever covered the show from NBC thinking that was too insensitive for, not only thinking that was too insensitive for everybody, all the characters that we like to call her that, but because of that note, we wrote into the script that you were the one, your character was the one that gave her that nickname. Remember at the end, she's like, do people call me Tasty Como Wife?

And you're like, I don't know. She's like, I love it. And you're like, I thought it up. So I bet people who are listening, Bill, would be interested to know that that you know you got a hit show as i as it says on scrubs wiki season two was our biggest season in terms of viewership ever and you're still getting minutiae notes like that from from an from a network um yeah but realize that yeah but it's a good thing because all it really means is when a show's doing

well uh the people that work on it networks they're there because they love tv that's why they're not in business you know that's why they didn't go to you know into the financial world and so once a show has some heat and buzz behind it it's even more exciting to try and contribute and give your two cents and it's never malicious you know wouldn't it be more interesting if they did this it wouldn't be cool if they did that and then as producers you make the choice do we let everybody feel the pride of ownership which we like to do on this show or um do you uh get jerky and go hey now that we have leverage we don't do anything you say which i think is counterproductive because then people aren't looking to and you know with us especially with the disney folks who gave us notes you know we loved them feeling like they were part of the creative part of the ship like

remember when we did the musical and the president of disney studios mark pedowitz like rented a whole theater for us and had us all go watch the musical on a big movie theater and stuff and that's because they felt like they were all part of it. You know what I mean? And you also, you also become friends with people in time. You know what I mean? I've,

I'm not going to lie. I have a bunch of friends. Well, a few, I shouldn't say a bunch. I have a few friends that are actual network executives now, you know what I mean? And work.

You guys would run into Julia Franz who helped run that run Disney studios all the time. And she was such a huge, you a huge cheerleader for the show. I remember all you guys having great relationships with her. It makes such a difference when you have an executive who really gets it and campaigns for the show. Because I feel like these decisions on your life or death are just made in conference rooms. I mean, the numbers are looked at and judged and, and I'm sure, but, but there's also like the, when it's on the bubble, the, the, how many people in the room

are going, no, trust me, just give it a chance. And, and, and as opposed to people going, eh, and if you're, it sounds like what you're saying is also that if you're the show running, you're a dick and you're on the bubble, people are like, you know what? Fuck that guy. No, cancel it. You know, it's interesting. I do agree with that. You know, I think you have to find that fine line of, you know, standing up for what you care about creatively and not capitulating. But also, if people are invested in the show, why not, you know,

let them feel the pride of ownership of their work and their butts off on it? I will say, like for us, there's a absolute direct correlation to the seventh year i didn't care when this show ended after we got through six years as long as we knew because i knew how i wanted the show to end in the seventh year the show almost ended without us being able to control it because of the writers strike and i think it was only because how the writers and how all you guys reacted towards Disney, our studio that when NBC said writer strike and we're done, the ABC called up and said,

how do you guys like to switch to another network and do your last season? And I, that was one of my favorite seasons of the show season eight. So I think that happened in part because we considered them part of our team you know what season was it that we took so we our hiatus was so long one time no it wasn't it's probably the right strike right it was like almost a year yeah it was because season seven ended right in the early part of the season and season eight we decided to move it over to abc and uh there was a long gap before we started shooting.

I think it might have been a full calendar year. It was crazy. Yeah. I feel you reminded me that I felt sad. I had a sad about the sort of medieval times episode we did because I put so much love and work into directing it. And you put so much love and work into directing it. And you put so much love and work into writing it. And, uh,

because of what was happening in the writer's strike, that that would have been the series finale of scrubs. Not only that, I feel like that was super underappreciated because man, that was a expensive slash, uh, artistic slash fun episode to do. And I don't think it ever got any love.

No, it was, and remember NBC, because there was a strike and they didn't care about anything other than bottom line at that point, juggled the order of episodes to air that last as if it was the season finale, and it made no sense. Yeah, and a lot of people were like, that's it? That's how you're ending the show? And we're like the show and we're

like no we didn't mean to please like it still it was very upsetting as an homage to the princess bride man such a great episode it's so cool oh man i love that episode and no one ever talks about it whenever we like bring up conversations about what's your favorite episode they say the musical they say uh the brian and fraser episode you know all the standards but no one ever ever mentions that episode and i thought it was really good i thought it was cool slow tear um um could i say something that i want to we almost skipped past in this one is 521 i'm doing a thing because it's a compliment to donald i loved because we did a bunch of different versions over the years, and Donald might not remember, of when Laverne, when Aloma would kind of break into Donald's questions. And he would say, like, you would say, like, we're only dealing with people that are invited. And this one, he says, I checked the guest list for this conversation, and you're not on it.

Right. And this one, that's it. I didn't know what that was. So this one, at the end, you made a noise. And I remember seeing that, and it made me so happy because it was, you're not's it. I didn't know what that was. So this one, at the end, you made a noise. And I remember seeing that, and it made me so happy. Because there's a, you're not on. So I don't know what ha-ha-ha means, but it was fantastic. Right on.

Does that mean? Accepted and received. I don't know where that came from. I watched it today, and I laughed my ass off. That was funny. I notice now, but I notice now at this point in the show i started getting really comfortable you know what i mean if you're watching the show from the beginning when we started like as much as as much as i like to think that i knew about comedy when we started

i feel like i was out of everyone the one who had the hardest time picking up jokes and the crazy thing was you kept writing jokes for me and sometimes I would nail them and sometimes I wouldn't but I'm starting to notice as it's going on now I'm starting to get comfortable with the character and it's it doesn't feel like like it sounded it felt like before that I was reading it or I was forcing it and now I'm just starting to relax. Yeah, but you're just doing it. Yes, you can tell how naturalistic you are now, but you're just harsh on yourself the way all performers do.

You were always funny, dude. I love that you put yourself under that critical eye, but it's not true. No, but also one thing I'll say, Bill, to use a sports term, is that he is in the zone in this episode. Yes, without a doubt. There's lots of little riff. There's lots of little riffing you're doing now. And you're feeling confident.

I thought you were really good in this episode. The both doing a huh. Huh. Huh. And the end when he's mad at Ralphie, when he says, you shut your mouth right now, by the way, which is a surgeon yelling at a child.

Shut your mouth right now. Oh my God. What about Ralphie? It's an interrupting Bill moment while I'm here. I don't know what the song is. Interrupting Bill. Interrupting Bill. So, for real, we would occasionally have recur jokes over the years that you were listed on the board.

You guys wouldn't recognize them because they're just tiny jokes that we thought we would keep going. And one of Donald's was there was four different times across the years that Donald told Laverne that he, that unless she got an invitation, she should sit down. He's seen the guest list. She's not on it. He did it. He did that to her so many times. Do you know, and it happened at the nine-minute mark,

what a weird reoccurring joke was for you, Zach, in reference to calling yourself the boat. Do you know what the reoccurring joke is? The reoccurring joke is that in my voiceover, I say that I clearly want a cool nickname for myself, and I'm always auditioning. I'm like, the I clearly want a cool nickname for myself, and I'm always auditioning them. The boat would be a cool nickname. Yes, so do you. And then

something happens, and I'm like, way to go, boat. If you go back and watch this series, there's eight different times that you're trying to have a nickname, whether it be lion or tiger or whatever, just catch hold, and it never does. And one of the things they said at the beginning of this series whatever, just catch hold. And it never does.

And one of the things they said at the beginning of this series was, JD should always wish he had a nickname and never get one. That's funny. That's very funny. That's funny. I didn't clock it as recurring, but I did laugh at me trying to get my own nickname. It's funny because you can't get your own nickname going. No, you try so many times.

I think sometimes Donald says to you or someone says to you, no matter how bad you want it, no one's ever going to call you Big Cat or call you Lion or something. That's in a different episode. I laughed. I think I improvised this, Bill. When Amy Smart says,

you have something on your cheek, and I go, working in a hospital. Did you make her who made was that adam or you that made her lick you i was about to say where did that come from no that was aggressive script um she was in the script she's not randomly licking me well no i think i think that it like i'll get it and she does something aggressive was there but i think that it was probably an actress or director choice to go just lick it off. I mean, I think it was probably lick your thumb and then kiss it or something. I certainly wasn't being like to Amy Smart, like, what if you were to lick my face?

Yeah, right. I wasn't implying. I was not implying that you were doing. Maybe instead of licking your finger and touching, you should lick my face in this moment. Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy, do you see on the sides how it says she licks her thumb? What if you just lick my face? How about when Donald goes, when Judy says, there's something about sleep toots,

and then you do the sound of them. What's the sound you make? You do air first. You go. I always had that. I always wondered, why do farts sound like they're asking a question? It always is. That's so funny well i love that i love and then nurse roberts says like i make mr roberts wear airtight boxers that's what i say by the way

by the way and she is always contributing in your shit more than anybody's. If she hears you talking to someone, she gets into it, which really makes people laugh. Let's talk about Elliot sabotaging her relationship. She's finally got some joy. She's finally, in the last episode, she finally said that she's happy. For the first time in her life, Donald and I were talking about in the last episode how Elliot's sort of bopping around in the rare, like, non-neurotic mood. And now she's already wanting to sabotage it because she's, I don't know, that's what she does, right?

Well, look, this you'll find interesting because this script was easy to write because we come up with premises ahead of time right and we thought um you know what'd be cool is donald and and judy carl and turk we set up because uh remember that kid had eaten a ring and gotten paid we knew we had to bring it back donald paid him not to say anything so we knew that was gonna be a problem johnny c you know dr cox and jordan you know had to have we didn't have a problem for rick and uh elliot yeah but dr cox and jordan were dealing with the kid and usually our episodes everybody has to figure out how to have a solution you know in you know how to get to the solution of their story in this one we said you know it'd be cool is we don't ever have to do the solution if they're just all having petty shit go on

and because jd is so alone he yells at them for not realizing that they got better than him. And that makes all their problems go away. So you didn't even have to do the story work at the end. Do you know what I mean? So that's how we came up with the, the way we came up with the Elliot and nurse flowers thing is to go, what could she cause shit over just because she's scared that she's starting to like the guy,

you know? Yeah. Yeah. I, it's clever the way you structured this because it's jd who's lonesome and single who wants more than anything to find love i mean jokingly the episode opens with him running drills on kissing because it's been so long since he kissed anybody. And then him seeing all these relationships in various stages, in various forms of disarray, and then it sort of bubbles up with the monologue at the end where I just explode.

Like, how the fuck did you guys not realize how lucky you are to be with someone? Well, because J.D. almost crosses a line though you know what i mean uh he almost goes against the moral code this woman has a husband who's not in the ground yet and still even though he's probably not going to make it through this she uh she needs to handle that first and deal with all of that first before she goes into a relationship and she shows weakness and jd almost pounces on it you know what i mean and so i also think the blow up at the end was you know him realizing holy shit i almost went there yeah and

these fuckers are right his it's his own thing, too. You're right, you're right, you're right. I never even saw that. That's a good point, Donald. It's sort of his own... You know sometimes when you have your own conscience bubbling up and you don't even know it, and he sort of explodes on everyone else.

Part of that monologue at the end when he's just berating everyone is his own frustration that he's got no one and he's so alone. And now all of a sudden here's this amazing woman who's so pretty and so into him and so in on the joke and silly and funny and she's like his perfect dream girl and and his his conscience and his morals make him stop it and then they're all fighting and he's like you fuckers don't you realize how lucky you are to have someone? I don't know. I think that was really good.

Yeah. I wrote that down. That's the – it's an amazing blowup. Not only you're acting at that moment, but also – Go on. Go on. I won't stop you. Okay.

You do a great job at it. Thank you. And it's very easy for the audience and our characters to have sympathy for you after you have that moment. You know what I mean? But it's amazing how it's presented also. It gets to a point where the hero of our show almost becomes a villain and stops himself from becoming that person. And he's going to, you know,

he's going to trade it. It comes up again later on in the night. In the next, do you think the audience would really think of him as villainous? I mean, wouldn't they be like, absolutely. Yeah,

really. But don't you think there'd be a certain percentage of the audience would be like, I get it. I do it. I do it. Right. I,

well, that's the dilemma. I would you, would you, or would you, if somebody, if somebody had somebody who was on the verge of passing away but has not yet passed away, would you let that person have the moment to grieve and move on?

Or would you slide in at their weakest moment? I think they're also going out. But she asked him out and they're drinking. She's weak, though. I love this argument. This is the argument that writers want you guys to have. You guys know that. So much so is transporting me back. One of the things we did in this show

when we wrote it, because Donald is correct in that we wanted people to go and to not want Zach to do this and did not want JD to do this and the way that we got there was we're so lucky we have a show of fantasies and that the actor was good.

And it wasn't my pitch, but someone's like, for us to really be down on J.D. doing this, the coma husband has to speak and has to be alive in the fantasies. And the fact that he actually was, do you know what I mean? And the guy was good. He was very good. And you felt his anguish and anger made it because i think if that guy had never spoken and was just a lifeless extra in a bed

you would have been like jd should go for it man that dude's been like that for a year but the second he's that was especially when he hands you a chart you know when you walk in the next day and you're like ah you know so that you know your conscience is killing you you know to me that's what made that show work and it wasn't wasn't my idea but we we argued over exactly what donald's talking about well it is a real testament i gotta say it's a real testament to what you what you as a writer are saying about jd's character because he's got this woman who's being the aggressor on him and they've had drinks and she's like where are we going and he's like i gotta stop this and but then he actually goes like if you really want this i'll pick you up and run 12 miles with you right now but uh but i think it'd be best if you waited

and she's like i'll call you and you know in his head he's like, fuck. Right. Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, and what makes it such a Scrubs moment, though, at the end of the blowup, when everybody's feeling down and out about themselves, in walks Nurse Roberts. Yeah. And there's something. By the way, remember how she used to lean forward when she would do that, too?

You like that? by the way remember how she used to lean forward when she would do that too all right we're gonna go to break we're gonna go to break and we have a caller who's gonna be very excited that uncle bill is here uh we will be right back after someone talks to you bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine. Hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.

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Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I used to have so many men. How this beguiling woman in her fifties, she looked like a million bucks with zero qualifications. She had a Harvard plaque tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents. She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway. Is it like a mansion? Yes, it's a mansion. That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports out of untold fortunes. About six million. Approximately eleven million dollars. Nearly ten million dollars was all gone.

Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry. She would probably have sex with one of her clients. Hide your money in your old rich man because she is on the prowl.

Listen to Queen of the Con Season 5 The Athlete Whisperer, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Scrub to Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. And we're back. And we're back. We're back.

And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. And we're back with Noor Khan. Noor Khan. Khan. Khan. Oh my God.

Khan. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to the fans. Noor, do you get that all the time? Do you get that all the time? No, she doesn't. No't and nor hi how are you hi okay okay do you get that all the time nor no no one does that and the poor people were jogging i have no earbuds left i backed up no one no one i'm gonna turn it down nor the way that you scream i don't think I've ever been introduced like this ever in my entire life.

Noor, it's very nice to meet you. Have you ever seen Star Trek 2, The Wrath of Khan? I'm not a Star Trek fan. Yes, Noor, thank you. I'm not a Star Trek fan. I'm not a Star Wars fan. I'm sorry, Joel. I'm sorry.

Don't worry. You're a Scrooge fan. Ladies and gentlemen, that was Noor Khan. Noor Khan is done for the episode. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I can't believe this. Oh, wow. Noor, it's so nice to meet you. Welcome to the program. We have a very special episode because we

have a surprise guest, Bill Lawrence, the creator of the whole darn thing is here. So you can ask us anything. I have so much to ask you, but before I get into that, I just want to, I have been watching you guys for so long. I have, I think, watched the series start to finish over 30 times since 2004. Nora, that's almost 30 times more than Donald's seen them. Okay.

So, it's my happy place. It's my husband's cheat code to my mood. So, like, if I'm in a bad mood, like, you know, I'm on my period and, you know, usually you need to give women chocolate and wine. No, you you need to give women chocolate and wine no you just need to put on an episode of scrubs and i'm like and i hate it that he has

like he knows this achilles heel of mine i hate it so much but uh he also uses it very very much it's ridiculous it's i wish donald wishes he could put on scrubs to calm down his wife when she's on her period. Listen, she don't even have to be on a period. My wife just don't like me, man. I'm convinced now. I'm just convinced. I'm guessing today hasn't been the best quarantine day. No, the past, ever since school went back, it's been tough.

Yeah. Well, I'm sure there's a lot of parents out there that can relate, Donald, who can empathize with you. You should know, Nord, Donald pointed out while you were waiting that my wife is essentially playing herself on the show. So for me, I don't think Pop it on, or it on maybe Zach did yeah I don't think Pop it on I did I can say it yeah

she's a great character so if that's how she's in your life you just hit the jackpot my friend you know you would think that and yet it's also very very scary you know what I always think Bill I think that and you've said a version of this,

but I think it's kind of, I mean, this is maybe stupid to say, but the universe kind of gives you who you need. And you and Donald both have very tough, Krista, I'll give a capital T, wives. But because you guys have big personalities, they keep you in check. And sometimes that's very hard but some wallflower who's gonna let you do whatever you want is not gonna work for for six

months with you guys yeah i thought you were saying that donald and i should be able to trade wives and have it be cool with them i thought that's where you're going well that's something you guys can work out. Because I don't think it would be cool with Krista. I think it would be cool with Krista, but not for me, just for her. She's so in love with Donald. It's so upsetting. Well, no, Casey would be all right with it.

Casey would be like, what, we get a pool? Krista, yeah, Casey would be like, I'll make out with Bill for a pool. Listen, I got to tell you that Krista does this thing that's so awkward where we're in front of Bill and we're hugging. And, you know, I give a standard, hey, good to see you hug. And she's like, and Bill's standing right there and she'll be like, don't, don't,

don't, don't let it go. Keep holding me. I don't like it. It's so awkward and she's doing it just to fuck with Bill and I'm sitting there with like a red face. I don't like it. It's so awkward and she's doing it just to fuck with Bill and I'm sitting there with like a red face. I don't like it. Okay, Krista, let go. I don't like it. Nora, where are you calling from?

I'm calling from India. Yeah! Fake doctor's real friend all the way from India, baby! Wow. This podcast is truly global, Donald. It's truly global. We made it.

For sure. Very cool. Hey, did you get a mug? Were you able to get a mug? No, I actually haven't gotten around to ordering it yet. Also, stuff is not

coming in from the US right now. They are taking forever to reach us. So I'm just waiting for shit to get up a little better. I have to say

on the merch front, just as a slight digression, when Donald and I started this podcast, the people at iHeart said to us, and Donald and I don't know podcasts that much. I've listened to a few. He's listened to none. And they said, just so you know, podcast listeners really like some basic merch, a t-shirt or a mug, because you're building a community,

and it's sort of a club and and people like that stuff and so donald and i said okay we'll we'll make merch that's cool you know we were never in a rock band we will that'll be fun for us so it's taken a long time to get it up it's and and uh and on the podcast we've joked about all these funny merch ideas we put up a mug and a mask and they were gone within like three hours and donald and i have now been texting like we need to take this shit a little more seriously because people are not fucking around with fucking merch they want their merch donald there is a lot you guys can do much wise i think i was just like shit if i knew this was going to happen i'd get like

you know t-shirt with both their faces on it or something printed before like i got on this call but like i was like yeah man this is well no i'm you look great you look great nor you know when i got the when i got the mail and i was like oh shit i need to start looking like a human being again nor just texting me zach nor just texting me it's almost one o'clock at night nor just texting me that the only merch she wants is a five six seven eight bill lawrence thing which i think is very nice of her to have said hey by the way i promise uh can we promise nor a coffee mug that she doesn't have to order a coffee mug zach that we're going to send bill stop giving away our shit you're a guest if anybody if anybody would like a coffee mug all you got to to do is you don't have to pay for them.

All you got to do. What? I'm not supposed to. No, no. He's right. Listen, if you from here on out, from here on out, Bill Lawrence, Bill Lawrence brought up a great incentive for making it on to the show. Yeah. I think you should get a mug.

I love this idea and I'm loving that it's starting with me so i'm going to be expecting that joelle i see joelle sign not for giving away a mug but trying trying trying to get a mug to india i see joelle holding her head like how the fuck am i gonna get a mug to india right now and by the way by the way i think it should be a rule no matter where you're calling from if you don't get that mug within a week, then you get a second mug. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. What?

Wait, what? Bill, I love you so much. I love you so much. You know it doesn't work. It's not going to work when Daniel and freaking Joelle are like, hold on, no, no, no, Bill. And then a third mug. Well, then a third mug, Zach.

No, no, no, Bill, Bill. And then maybe like a five or a six or a seven, eight mug. Five, six, seven, eight. No, no, no, no, no, no. For fuck's sake, Dan, turn it off. Bill, what the fuck? What, Dan? No.

Woo! And we're back. Fucking hell. I'm doing it right now. He thinks he can take control over the show. Dan, I'm going to need the ability. I'm going to need the ability to be able to mute Bill. Yeah.

Now, wait a second. Are we saying your name correct, Noor? Yes, you're saying it. All right, Noor. What do you do? Oh, sorry, Zach. I was going to ask Noor what she does there. What do you do there in India, Noor?

She collects mugs from fake doctors. That's what I do. Well, that's a bit of a loaded question, but like the short version of that is I have been a wedding planner for eight years and I just recently, as like about four weeks ago, stepped out of my company,

gave the whole thing to my partner because I am going to be a sustainable farmer. Oh, that's very cool. Oh my God. Holy shit, that's dope, dude. It's like the documentary. Did you watch The Biggest Little Farm? Yes.

So my husband and I have always wanted to retire on a farm and do that whole thing. And then this whole COVID situation has just kind of been like why are we waiting you know that's neat good for you yeah what are you gonna what are you gonna what are you gonna what crop are you gonna farm we're actually going to do a permaculture which is kind of an ecosystem uh of like different kinds of things together uh and we're also going to live on on the farm away from the city so i don't have to deal with people um so yeah nor i miss i missed if you said that you'd seen this documentary the biggest little farm yes we have i love that

documentary so much and if you if you're listening and you haven't seen it please check it out it's it's about a couple that uh that does a version of what noor is saying where they create a sustainable farm and it's so moving and amazing and i i really loved it yeah and it was just i think and my husband and i were in uh quarantine together with like his family and everything and we were just you know and bombay is a very loud city. And during, like, the whole thing was so quiet. And it was like, we were just like, oh, my God, this is amazing. Why can't we have this for our whole lives? And that's when the conversation started.

Like, you know, do you really want to wait 10 years and then start? Do you want to just do it now? And I was like, why not? Oh, well, I wish you the best of luck. That'd be so awesome. Bill, do you think you and Krista might also start a sustainable farm? Yeah, I don't necessarily think that's in the cards of luck. That'd be so awesome. Bill, do you think you and Krista might also start a sustainable farm? Yeah, I don't necessarily think that's in the cards for us.

But man, man, man, do I think that's super. Would the, yeah, would the sustainable farm still be like a luxury four seasons resort? Is that part of it?

Yeah, Bill, you can, you can build a four seasons resort on the farm. I'm sure. I'm sure. That's really cool. That's really cool. That is so cool.

Noor, go ahead if you have a question. We're ready to answer. So I have a few, so you can stop me whenever you guys are done answering. Go for it. Yeah, go ahead. Okay, so I'm going to start with Bill

just because he's the brains behind the operation. Of course. And Noor, thank you so much for enjoying my podcast. It's really cool. Oh, my God. I really enjoy your podcast, bro. It's amazing.

I'm so proud. I was like, oh, here we go. I totally imagined that in season three of this podcast, Donald and I are guests. Right. You guys, as long as you guys tell me, you can come on whenever you want. That's and Donald. I'm just going to let me know what's going on. Let's hear it, Noor.

I'm ready. Go ahead, Noor. So if we were to pick up the show today, X number of years after it has gone off the air, and we had to pick up from where the boys are today and the whole cast is today, where do you see the show going? Do you think that they'll still be at Sacred Heart? Or do you think that JD and Toph would go into private practice together?

Where do you see the whole show going? Just because there was so much towards the end of season 8. I don't consider season 9 an actual season, so just letting you all know that. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever that was. Nor there was only one main difference with season nine, as I recall.

There were two major differences. Hold up. Both you and Bill were ghosts on that show. So the magic was gone. The magic dream team. I'm answering Nor's question because i want to hear donald zach's answer to this so no we were talking a lot because everybody always asked donald zach and me if we're ever going to reboot the show and uh what's really interesting is we've always had

opportunities but everybody on this show a works constantly because they're also super talented and b we see each other on our own because we love each other. So, you know, we haven't always been driven to do, even for me getting to come on this show on Zach and Donald's podcast. Yes, it's theirs. For me, it's such a cool opportunity to see two guys I love. So only recently have we been starting talking about that and thinking about what it would be. And with the writers, here's the question for you guys. I think that we think Zack and J.D. and Turk would always be close. And we think that they would always be of service and that those two were doctors for life.

But the one thing that we always got caught up on is when you watch the finale of season eight and Zack's voice, J.D.'s voiceover says, and who's to say that all these things wouldn't come true just this once? You know, and then as writers, we fight, does that mean that they all came true, or does that mean that J.D. is hoping they came true? So that's where we always start. What do you guys think? Because we always started to go, like, if we rebooted this,

does that mean that J.D. and Donald's kids ultimately are going to end up together and married like they do in the show? Does that mean that those things actually happened? I don't know. You know, so I would, because to me, that's the trap. Do you think, Zach, do you think that those things that we were showing in the finale were real, or do you think they were your dreams? That's a question I've never been asked, and I'm semi-embarrassed to admit that it gave

me goosebumps on my arm, but I don't hold anything back from you listeners. I've never been asked that question, Bill, and it's a great question. And as you were talking about it, I kind of answered it automatically and said, no, that was JD's fantasy of how great life could be. And then I started thinking, and then I started thinking like,

if you brought it back it might be interesting to show that things had not gone that way at all and in fact he's they've all been separated and they were you know you know on this podcast a lot we talk about how we're all

living life and COVID aside happy people and doing the best that we can but we always talk about how we miss the community of this wonderful thing that happened to us for for nearly a decade and it made me think that it might be interesting that the characters aren't together they don't have that special bond and there is some reason that has to bring them together and and and joy and and community come out of bringing them back together. It's always what's messed us up, bro.

You go, Donald. I agree with you, Zach. I think you're right. I think that's a better story. Joni loves Chachi didn't go that long. You know what I mean? That happy ending of the kids being the next generation of turk and jd but it's a love it's the love story that you know turk and jd's love story is a great love story but this is the actual love story where

you know uh their children are uh together i think that's too happy what are they fucking hate each other that would be fun That's my worst nightmare come true. I know. See, Nora, that's the problem is that I feel like, you know, people wanted when JD says, who's to say my fantasies couldn't come true just this once that you want to believe that that next Christmas

they were all together, you know, and that they stayed friends. And I think people would be really not happy in a bad way if we came up on a and that they stayed friends. And I think people would be really not happy in a bad way if we came up on a world that they were no longer in each other's lives. So I think that's the tricky part. I'd stop watching immediately. I'd stop watching immediately.

No, you wouldn't. No, no, no. Let me clarify what I meant then. I'm saying JD and Turk are still tight. Their kids just don't get along. That's right. You know what I mean? Okay. Nobody cares about their kids. Well, I was saying that we Turk are still tight. Their kids just don't get along. That's right. You know what I mean? Okay.

Nobody gets bundled. Well, I was saying that we can be tight but separated, you know? Right. And I think that, Bill, you know this better than anything. The audience will often say two things at once. I remember when we screen tested Garden State, at the very end, we had a focus group of about 20 people. I was there.

No, you weren't at this one. And they said, they said, how many of you, this was random strangers. And they said, how many of you feel like the ending was a little too pat, but you know,

the two lovers get together in the airport. And I would say like 75% of the hands went up and he said okay um how many of you want them to be together every single hand went up so as the writer you're trying and writer director you're trying to balance like you obviously you want to you want to make the audience happy but you you also want to subvert what they think they want a little bit do you know what i mean bill you can speak to that. Well, look, I'm as proud of the writing and directing I did on Garden State as I am of my podcast. Oh, my God.

Do you want to know another funny story just while I'm on the subject? So this is a story that's a total tangent. But in that same test screening, now, when you test screen a movie and you're a director, you have to go because you have to see where the audience is laughing, where they're bored, everything like that. But in that same test screening, now, when you test screen a movie and you're a director, you have to go because you have to see where the audience is laughing, where they're bored, everything like that.

Now, you would never invite an actor who's in the movie to the test screen because there's going to be a focus group after, and you never know what they're going to say. They might say they don't like that actor. You would never subject an actor to that. But as a writer-director, you have to be there. So there's a focus group in the front row

of the movie theater, 20 people lined up. I'm six rows back with my baseball hat down. I don't want to spoil the sampling and have them know that I'm there. And a girl raises her hand and the moderator calls on her and she goes, look, kudos to Zach Braff for pulling this off. I just don't find him attractive. Aye, aye, aye. That must have been hard.

And I'm sitting there, I'm sitting there like biting my fist, like this is the most, and all the producers who are in the row with me, they all look over at me like, oh shit, how did that feel?

And I'm like, not great. I'm going to be honest with you, that right there is a hater. That's all that is is a 100 true story look look she started the shit off with kudos to zach brad for pulling this off meaning this shit is fire dude this shit is fire but he's a ugly dude bullshit dude you know what's funny though this is i'm just thinking this out loud in real time, but this is before social media went crazy.

And this was sort of a live anonymous troll because she doesn't know I'm in the room and she's anonymously trolling me to the moderator, but I have to be there because I'm the director of the fucking movie. How do you guys fix that in the movie how do you fix it they green screen his face I don't know if you know this

Noah's got more questions first of all I want to say you're such a fucking dick A and B and B we spent a hundred000 and lessened my nose. We brought my nose a little in. I thought it was the green screen mask. Yeah, we reshot some angles where my nose looked too big.

We wanted to please that one fucking woman. All right. Sorry, Noor. Noor, I'm sorry. No problem. Okay, Zach, my sorry. Go ahead. No problem. Okay, Zach, my next question is for you. Finally. So you've done a lot of like pratfalls

and a lot of like funny falls throughout the runtime of the show. Which is your favorite to shoot and which is the one that you thought came out best on screen? That's a good question, dude. That's a good question. I'm going to cheat a little, Noor.

Okay. And I mean, can the Scooter one and the Wizard of Oz count, Bill? I'll let you judge. Yes. Yes. Just don't say the string line one where you end up in like the garbage stuff. You've said it like 20 times on this podcast.

Oh, my God. I know you like that one. You know why, Noor? Because that, I don't know if you know this, but Zach directed that one. I do. Don't we know this?

Yeah. I know. I know. You don't even have to listen to the podcast. I listen to this podcast religiously, and I know.

Noor, Noor, first of all, Noor, Noor, oh my God. Noor, you're very funny,

first of all, and I love the fact that you're such an avid listener that you're like, please don't say the one where you zipline because I've heard it 900 times. By the way, we're going to be so fucked when we get deeper into this series because we're only on season two and season 1.5, and people are already like, please don't tell that story again. I can't wait for that episode. Anyway, anyway, Noor can't wait for that episode. Anyway.

Anyway, Nor, I do love that episode, but I have to say the funniest, it's technically not a pratfall, I guess, but probably the funniest in Scrubs history. It's what Bill always called our most expensive joke in the history of Scrubs, is when the scooter goes into the endless puddle in the Wizard of Oz episode,

uh, where I, where I clearly run into Julian, the underground manatee who doesn't exchange pleasantries, um, because, um, it involved,

uh, digging two very deep holes. They were very expensive to build because the city demanded they be built to code for safety because you can't just throw people in a hole that could collapse and um and as a director of the episode uh we came up with the idea that it would be a one-er which means we did this elaborate thing where the stuntman is riding the scooter with his with his helmet on into the first puddle um the camera keeps panning. They weren't really connected underground, obviously, but it pans to the second puddle

where I was hiding out underwater, and then one of the crew members, with a hammer as hard as he could, banged on the asphalt so I could hear it underground, which meant to pop up because the camera was on me. And it was very elaborate,

and I still think one of the funniest gags we did on Scrubs. Bill, you might want to talk about it. Do you know why that gag is so funny, though? Because manatees seem like the happiest creatures in the ocean. And the fact that he wouldn't return pleasantries is one of the funniest things. He was rude. He was a rude man.

He was a rude man. He was having a day, guys. He was having a day. Yes. Wait, but Bill, talk about that from the writer's room because there's no way when you guys thought of that you could have possibly thought it was going to come out as funny as it did.

Because I think I saw this one of the funniest things. When we thought of it, the most fun was Randall Winston, who's been on the show and is the closest thing I have to a life partner besides my wife. He is the line producer in charge of the budget, and he came to us with the first estimates of how much that joke cost. Yes, yes. Look at you. And he came to us with the first estimates of how much that joke cost, and he said it to me in a way that he obviously felt so unfortunately we won't do it and in my head i was like yeah it feels like we should still go for

it and that was only that was only a product of youth because now i think i would look at it and go oh man we could have i guess i don know, purchased a small home to give to somebody to live in for the price of a joke. You know, but that's movie and TV production. Zach, I want to give you props because Nora asked, one of my favorite pratfalls of all time, I randomly saw it when I was searching for this episode. Do you remember what you did when you were singing a song you made up going, I'm feeling so good today? Do you know what that one is? I still feel good, but nobody saw me fall.

Yeah, so my favorite is that Zach decided to click his heels, and because that's very hard to do, and then fall flat on his face and get back up. And I've never seen, that was in a one-er as well, and it looks so incredibly painful and so well done. I would vote for that as well. I want you listeners to know that I would do anything to make you guys laugh.

I still go to the chiropractor as often as I can just because of all those years. We appreciate you, Zach. Thank you. I do it all for my fans. Nora, you've got to bring a question Donald's way now. Oh, sorry, Donald. Yes, I do have one. I'm going to be honest with you.

My favorite pratfall is the one from the episode that Zach directed. I hate to tell you, because of what the dude does, it's a stuntman that does it. But after he hits the wall and how he shakes like a fish in the air is one of the funniest things I've ever. I remember when he did it and laughed. I was there the night that happened. And I remember laughing when it happened and then seeing it on camera and laughing at it again

so that's Who directed that one? Did you direct that one Zach? I have no idea. You're such a dick By the way I do have to simultaneously give a shout out to the many stuntmen the several stuntmen that did it over the years because there were certain things I definitely couldn't do

or wasn't allowed to do and And, um, and these guys were hilarious and Donald, uh, Donald is right. I was not allowed to zip line into the wall and fall off line, but you didn't zip line. I zip, I zip line. I wasn't allowed to nail the wall. What? You also weren't allowed to drive an actual scooter that had to be weighted down with lead so that you would stay underwater in the first puddle while we went over to the next puddle and you came up. Think about that. That stuntman had to hold his breath for the whole shot. For that whole shot, yeah.

Because he had to go under with the scooter and stay under. No, well, technically, Bill, we panned off of him and then he could come up. Yeah, but not right away, Zach. Not right away. But I have to say, not to toot my own director horn, but how many directors are directing from underwater in a puddle

where you can only hear with a hammer on asphalt? All right. All right, Noor. Should we give her one more question or move on to Fix Your Life? I have one more question. This one is for Donald because I've always wondered this.

Like I've said, I've watched Stubbs so many times and I wanted to get Donald's perspective on this. Do you wish that your character had a longer run as a single on the show instead of getting into

a committed relationship right off the bat? Yes. Considering all the hot people that came in? Yes. Yes. Yes.

I felt for you so much. Yes. I love that i love that donald has tiptoed around it and nor is just like come on buddy be honest come on buddy uh judy reyes is a beautiful woman and the connection that she and i have the chemistry that she and i have is by far the best chemistry I've ever had with any female on screen. By far. I can go down the list and nobody

has ever been on the level that Judy and I were on. Comma. Comma. Comma. I do however wish that Turk was single for a little bit. By the way, I believe...

At least season one and two. At least season one and two. I feel for you, though. No, I believe it was a product of youth. And I'll say all the same caveats because Judy is so good on the show and so funny and talented. But I remember, and I might be making this up in my head, but I remember as writers telling judy

early on that turk and carla were going to be together for the run of the show and her being like oh that's going to be cool to have a steady relationship to be the ones that ground it to explore what that means to meet get married stay together have children to follow that whole arc and donald who was a young man at the time, I do remember kind of telling you that and you being like, huh? Really? As Amy Smart walks by like, morning, Donald.

What? That was funny. All right. Now, you know we have this new segment since you're an avid fan of the podcast. and Bill is going to join us for the first time for a new segment called Fix Your Life. Noor, it's time to fix your life. Okay. All right, Noor, how can we fix your life, big or small? We're going to do it right now. You don't need to pay for a therapist. You don't need to pay for a handyman.

We got it. Okay. My cat suddenly scratches me a lot for no reason, especially at night, especially if I haven't fallen asleep by his bedtime. How do I get him to stop doing that? Okay. I could tell you this one real quick.

Get rid of the cat. You don't know how to get a cat. Get rid of the cat. That's me, Donald. All right. This has been a great episode of Fix Your Life. You're welcome, Noor. No.

As someone who is not a cat person and is allergic to cats, just get rid of the cat. Noor, I don't know too much about cats. I've got to be honest. I'm more of a dog person, and I've raised a couple puppies now, so I have some experience with puppies. I do know. Have you tried? Now, with puppies, there's a canned air thing that they hate. If you do that canned air noise, they're like, I will never do what I just did again if you promise not to make that canned air.

So I would try canned air. Another thing is a water gun. You can sometimes, I don't, most pets do not like getting blasted with a water gun to the face. Also, there's, I mean, we've made jokes about everything on Scrubs, but there's also this one episode that we did in which Zach goes down a zip line. And I think he directed that one. You watch that?

You watch that on my channel. No, you should take it. I'll watch it deeply next time. Okay, go, go, go. Now I'm going to be really in my head about mentioning that episode. No, I mean, I love it. Don't get me wrong, obviously.

I love it. My only thing is that I just didn't want you to say that that was your best, like your favorite part. Okay. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

I truly believe that if you want to make it so the cat stops scratching you you got to get rid of that cat no no no he's my pride and joy donald is joking on behalf of pet lovers everywhere you're going to keep that cat and you're going to tame him you're going to tame him. Yeah, he's also a human cat. Try the pet corrector and or a water gun, and I guarantee you that we have just fixed your life. Fixed your life. You're welcome. Thank you, guys.

You're welcome. Thank you. All right, Noor, it's been an extraordinarily long segment because you've been so darn charming. We thank you so much for coming on the show. Noor, come back and report on your life that i think what you're doing is so cool and interesting and um uh i bet you these guys would uh love to hear it and if you do it is free mugs for your whole family and oh my god

i have 59 people in my family just i understand i. I understand. I understand. Just letting you know. Nor in a year and a half when the mug that Joelle's going to put in the mail tomorrow arrives. I hope you enjoy your coffee. That mug is going to arrive with like 17,000 absentee ballots in India. Exactly. One year from now. Too soon. Sad because it's a little true. Just before I go, I just want to say, Joel, thank you so much.

If there was no COVID, I would kiss you on the mouth because I love you so much for making this happen. Oh my God, Joel, getting propositioned. Thank you. Thank you, Zach, Donald. Bill, Donald, I love, getting propositioned. Thank you, thank you, Zach, Donald, Bill, Donald, I love you guys so much and we love you, Noor. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Noor Kaur!

Bye, Noor. Bye! What a great movie. By the way, that's the best that is the best guest, at least in the ones I've been on here for, that I've gotten to be a part of, and they're all so awesome. That one was cool.

It was amazing. By the way, not only was she just fun, but she knew the show so well that she was like saying, please don't reference that episode yet again. Which episode? Oh, my God. You guys, it was a very special episode for me because I don't know if you know this,

but it was the first time I got to direct. All right. Hey, Bill, I know that you don't control the movement of the background. That's up to the assistant directors. But I just wanted you to know that at 1531,

Beer Fosse is serving as the pharmacist. He's behind the pharmacist's counter being the pharmacist, and I don't recall hearing that Beer Fosse was the pharmacist. No, no, no. We did. I mean, we cut it, but we did some things that he had to cover for the pharmacist. We didn't. That just shit happened.

The one that made me the saddest was I think I went back and watched some guy mopping the air because of you guys. It really upset me. And also, Bill, Beard Fosse was also a patient reason. Like, Beard Fosse was like the go-to for the ADs to be like, it's funny that the guy was a patient, Beard Fosse. And now I was drawn to the background going, hey, Jeff Stevenson is not the pharmacist, guys. Okay? He's Dr. Beardface.

And as you know, by the way, did anybody give you pause that his name was Beardfisay, which he's a smart guy. He would read it as Beardface, and yet he still chose to have such a big beard? I just think that's such... Well, he wasn't going to shave it after you gave him a character, dude. If in real life your name was Beardface,

I would think that you'd be very careful about not having a beard. That's what always confused me about that character. I have to say, one of the hardest I've laughed in a couple episodes, I don't know if I'm just giddy tonight or what, but when Ralphie pukes in the elevator on Kelso, and all you hear is Kelso go,

good God. Oh, you want to know a joke piece of trivia? And it's the last little show reference I had. Other than I thought you, by the way, we always give props to Sarah was great in this, Judy, Johnny C, Krista. But I really did think Donald and Zach, it was fun to come on here for this one because you two both slayed it comedically in this episode. I really thought so. And Bill, since I still, since I need your approval, no matter how old I get, that means a lot to me.

It does mean a lot to me. I mean it sincerely. You guys were both funny as, as all get out the, the last bit of trivia. So comedy writers always get stuck when they think they're stealing jokes from, from themselves or jokes that they've written before.

And there was one in this show that because, because a rowdy exists, because I saw somebody had a dead stuffed dog when I was younger. I had also written about a dead animal joke on Spin City, which was Richard Kine's character says, because they're going to a morgue to try and get a dead cat because for some weird episode.

And he says, turns out, you know, it's weird. I went there and we got it. We put it in the car and I didn't sneeze at all. It turns out I'm not allergic to dead cats. And then Mike Fox says,

well, then you should definitely get one. And then on this show, we then decided, we fought about it for a long time, that Amy Smart, do you know the joke

I'm talking about, Zach? That she says, perhaps you remember. I can't even finish this story. The joke doesn't even get paid off because Casey's there. Forget it. No, the joke works. Casey comes in the building. The joke in this one is Amy Smart says, perhaps he smells my dead dog.

Yeah. So we are also living in a world. Wait, bring her back. Bring her back. I care more about, cut that out. Cut that out and bring Casey back. Casey, what's up? Thunder's applause, Dan.

Thunder's applause. Hi, Casey. Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to finally meet the Casey Cobb. Hi, guys. Hi. Hi. Casey, so good to see you. My wife's going to be so jealous.

I get to say hi to you, and she didn't. Oh, my God. Please give her a big hug. I will. I will. This is what a mom slash housekeeper slash teacher slash everything looks like well you're crushing you look stunning are you are you are you happy that school started or is it more and more and more and more and more work i'm happy it started because the kids are

excited to see their friends and their new teachers but i, I mean, I just came up here to pee, and this is the first time I've pissed since 6 a.m. And I have my pajamas on. Sure. Bill was saying we should wife swap. Oh, my God. Well. You got a phone. By the way. You got a fool. By the way,

if Krista can come into this house and set this one straight, I'll swap you neither. Thunderous applause, Dan. Thunderous applause. This is the first wife swap we've had. Donald said you're going to make

the decision based on having a pool over here. He's like, she's going to be like, there's a pool over there. I'll head over for a few days. You'll never get rid of me. I will do anything. Whoa! All right, well, best podcast ever. I will earn my key.

This is what's known, John, as a joke backfire. This segment is the end of Casey's marriage. Brought to you by Mylanta. Oh, my God. No. All right. I just wanted to say hi. I'm being summoned, I'm sure.

Okay. We love you. We love you. We love you, Casey. It's so nice to finally see you guys. See you, Casey. I know. I know. I'm excited to see you guys. See you, Casey. I know.

I know. I'm excited to see you. I think she probably gets that. She's never listened to the podcast ever. I listen. I listen because you know what? Donald likes to listen to it and make his edits on the loudest volume possible in the main room of the house where we're all sitting. I hear it every week.

Love it. Casey, I don't listen to it all the time either, but I'm going to listen to this section of this one over and over and over. Oh, yeah, okay. I love you, Bill. Bye, guys. Take care. I think it's good that you specified, that's Joelle and that's Daniel,

because that could be very confusing. We're almost done, guys. She had no idea what their names were. That's why I said that because she does not watch. She does not listen to the podcast and she has not ever seen an episode of Scrubs. I played an episode of Scrubs once for her

and she got teary-eyed at the end. She was like, Scrubs is like this? If I would have known this, I would have been watching all these years. Oh my god. Dead serious. That's awesome. I wanted to say that I really related

to the idea of the end monologue in this, about the idea of feeling alone, even at times when there's a ton of people around. I thought that was moving, Bill, and I think that there's a lot of people around. I thought that was moving, Bill. And I think that there's a lot of people who are listening

who can probably relate to that. Sometimes you're surrounded by people and you still feel super alone and lonesome. And you're like, what's wrong with me? And I think you articulate it well, especially with the visual effect, which is sort of a callback to the pilot that Adam Bernstein directed as well,

with people moving all around JD, and he's just there feeling so lonesome. And I just thought, I don't know, it just struck me this time as an emotion and a feeling that a lot of people can probably relate to and think that they were the only one feeling it. Well, look, man, you hit on two things. One is, I'm glad you gave a shout out to adam bernstein because he helped create the look of the show and he intentionally wanted to do a throwback to the pilot where the pilot you were overwhelmed and off on your own and the world was zipping around around you and this one you're lonely even though you're comfortable in that world and all those people are around you and he intentionally pitched that to do it you know kind of the same thing twice in a way that i thought was really cool uh but more

i was struck by the emotion of this uh episode not in terms of being a couple but in terms of we often talk about uh in the world right now but you know empathy is a big thing okay and one of the things that comedy writers will often talk about is joking around. We call it, don't know how good you got at disease, you know, which is, Hey, if you have a job, every job, even being a comedy writer, which is ultimately the greatest gig in the world. And I would do it for free. You still sometimes have crazy hours and tough situations, and you'll find yourself with your coworkers complaining and saying like, Oh, this part of this job sucks this part's annoying this

part sucks but then you don't ever take a moment to go holy crap especially right now there's a lot of comedy writers that we get to keep working you know i mean because we're writing shows and trying to get ready in case the world ever opens up again. And you don't always take the time to be empathetic towards the people that don't have it as good as you. And that's not only true when it comes to having found the person you're meant to be with, but right now in the world, man, I don't know why this episode touched me so much. I feel like if people could be a little more empathetic as to what other folks are going through out there, that things would be just a lot clearer and a lot more empathetic as to what other folks are going through out there that things would be just a lot clearer and a lot more simple you know and uh yeah that's why i don't i rarely get choked

up at these episodes but i got choked up at this one because you know what i was hearing jd say was you fuckers are so caught up in your own pettiness right now, you're not really thinking about how hard it is for other people. And you guys do that all the time on this show and empathize and think about what's going on out there. So it really touched me. Yeah. And I just want to say that the last thing is that, you know, I think this is one of the only times I explained spiking the lens to, to the audience about how, you know, it's usually, unless it's done on purpose, like Ferris Bueller's day off where the character's talking to you,

it's usually something that's edited around because we, you know, we, we say there's this invisible fourth wall, that's the camera. And we don't, we, we don't look into the lens because that's the invisible fourth wall.

Um, this, I believe is one of the only times where you put me looking directly at the audience in, I remember shooting this, I was, I watched it and I remember like, you know, we, we did a bunch of takes where I didn't look, I just kind of looked off sad. you chose it bill because i it almost felt to me like at this point in the run of the show at 218 of the show it almost i don't know i'm maybe i'm reading too much into it but my interpretation was like i'm checking in with you the audience i've been telling you the story for a season and eight plus 18 episodes and i'm really fucking lonesome right now and I'm doing the best that I can I can't do this all on my own quote unquote but I'm I'm I'm looking at you I don't know and you never did it I don't think we ever did it again but I thought it was very I thought it was very

moving and it's me so it's bizarre but I but I was a bit caught off guard by it because it's not a technique you ever did again we ever did again no it was supposed to be you're all like me because I think the world is filled of, I think it's very hard to be a single person and around married couples and happy couples that are bitching and moaning about whatever trivial thing is making their great coupleness hard. You know what I mean?

And so it was definitely an effort to say you're me. The only other time we did it, you guys might not remember, is the dumbest joke ever because we talked about spiking the lens, was we did an episode in which you said, it doesn't really matter what you think. I'm really interested in what America thinks. Oh, yeah. And you looked directly at the camera,

and then we revealed a tailor on the other side, an Italian guy that says, it's not America, it. Oh, yeah. And you look directly at the camera, and then we revealed a tailor on the other side, an Italian guy that says, it's not America, it's Americo. Yeah, yeah, that's funny. But yes, you are correct. By the way, it's funny that Donald and I always reference Beverly Hills Cop, and there's bizarrely, there's a handful of times when Eddie Murphy looks directly into the lens like are you seeing this shit

and I think that not in Beverly Hills Cop trading places yeah I was about to say it's not Beverly Hills Cop it's trading places when the Mortimer's

say to him it's pork bellies which is used to make bacon which you might find in a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich

and Eddie Murphy looks at the camera like Eddie Murphy does one of tomato sandwich. And Ricky Murphy looked at the camera like. Ricky Murphy does one of these. He looks at the camera like, what? Doesn't he do it in Beverly Hills Cop or no? No, no, no. Beverly Hills Cop is very much straight. He never breaks the fourth wall in Beverly Hills Cop,

but he does it in training places. My favorite thing in the world is whenever you see a show or a movie that has a kid that is six or under you just should go back and watch the scene to see how many times they stare directly at the camera because they can't oh man ralphie at one point says the line that cox is saying he's saying it at the exact same time he's mouthing the lines when you see when you reveal him it's it's. It's hilarious. Yeah, it's tough with kids. In fact, someone told me, someone wrote on my social media,

they wrote, Zach, ever since you've, you described spiking the lens to me, you've ruined Degrassi high for me because they said the teen extras, the teen background performers are doing it nonstop. You know, you want to see something really funny? One of the biggest stars in the world right now is Will Smith, right? Watch the first season of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

He's mouthing everyone's lines. Really? You see him doing it. You see him saying everyone's lines while they're making the show. So, you know. And if you go back and watch that, see if you can find Krista Miller playing a girl that Will Smith hits on and dances with. I can't wait.

I'm going to look for that right now. As soon as this episode is done, I'm going to look and see when Will Smith hits on her. Well, I think it is. She's not the greatest dancer. I think it is done, Donald. We've done it. We've celebrated this really good episode.

And I'm so glad you were here, Bill, because it wasn't just your average episode. It was a particularly good one, I think. Well, it means a lot to me not only to see you two, but to see Daniel and Joelle, who I come to enjoy spending time with. And I make all my stupid jokes because I wish that this was my podcast because I enjoy it and I listen to it with my giant earphones at night every Tuesday and Thursday when it comes out. That's my going to bed thing. I miss you both. I love seeing Casey.

I love seeing you four. I really appreciate getting to be involved in this occasionally, guys. Well, we love you. I love you, Bill. I truly do, man. We love you and we love all of you. Thank you so much for continuing to tune in. For those of you who were so interested in the merch

and are pitching the funniest fucking ideas for merch I've ever seen, we will get to it. Donald and I are going to dedicate more bandwidth to putting up merch now that we know that y'all are- I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think that I can get- I don't think we can get, I dock Leo on a shirt. That's nobody.

That's a dishy, but wait, wait. But if you, if you love the five, six, seven, eight,

Bill Lawrence thing, I want you to tweet Zach. Only Zach, not Joel, not Daniel, not Donald, not me. Just tweet Zach that you want it.

And he's going to need to hear it a lot for him. You know what I'm going to, you know what I'm going to make I'm going to make a t-shirt with Bill's face giant on it and it's just going to say 5678 across the top I already got some of those if anybody wants one

I make them in my garage Bill's made some at home wait there was something I wanted to say you just reminded me of this girl on my twitter she wrote the show she sent me the funniest picture Donald it's Leo standing on a dock

and it's I think it's from Great Gatsby and he's at the end of his dock and there's a little rowboat and this woman or young woman wrote I wish I was good at photoshop because I would put Donald in the rowboat. I'm going to leave the Donald in the rowboat.

That's good. Because then you can be Docking Leo. Things that will never make it to a shirt. Okay. One, I'd Docking Leo. If you're at home, you can make your own Donald Docking Leo shirt. Thank you for tuning in.

We really appreciate you. And, hey, Bill, why don't we go out with another Charlotte Lawrence song? What's your favorite song that's not the one we played? Since we're limited in what we can play, but we can celebrate your beautiful daughter. Well, look, hey, one of the cool things that Warner Atlantic is doing is that they released a children's album. My daughter did a song called Lavender's Blue on there. It's a bunch of huge recording artists that you will know

doing kids songs. It's at home with the kids. All the proceeds, 100% of the proceeds go to Save the Children, which is doing amazing work in 100 different countries. This will be a little kids lullaby, but it's called Lavender's Blue by Charlotte Lawrence, No Relation.

Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, lavender's green. When I am king, dilly dilly, you shall be queen. Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so? Toss my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so Call up your men, dilly dilly, set them to work Some to the plow, dilly dilly, some to the fork Some to make hay, dilly dilly, some to cut corn While you and I, dilly dilly, keep ourselves warm

Keep ourselves warm Lavender's green, dilly dilly, lavender's blue If you love me, dilly dilly, I will love you Let the birds sing, dilly d dilly and the lambs play We shall be safe dilly dilly out of harm's way I love to dance dilly dilly, I love to sing When I am queen dilly dilly, you'll be my king Who told me so dilly dilly, who told me so? I told myself dilly dilly, I told me so. podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay, and me, Simone Boyce. Every

weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search the bright side. I used to have so many men. How this beguiling woman in her 50s She looked like a million bucks. Scams

a bunch of famous athletes out of untold fortunes. Nearly $10 million was all gone. It's just unbelievable. Hide your money in your old rich man, because she is on the prowl. Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5,

The Athlete Whisperer, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.

This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Beauty Translated Season 3 is coming soon with what? A second host? I'm Carmen Laurent, and this season I am joined full-time by world-renowned Janie Danger. Janie, what are we talking about in season three? We're talking about life, Carmen. Beauty Translated is about the many fragmented lives

spreading across this rich tapestry of the trans experience. And the all-new Beauty Translated Loveline at 678-561-2785. Listen to Beauty Translated Season 3 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye. Bye-bye.