Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - Our Favorite Guests with Heather Graham

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

We're still on break, but we wanted to share some of our favorite guests with you. So we're kicking it off with the stunning Heather Graham. We'll be back with new episodes on Tuesday, August 6th. If you have guest suggestions or want to ask Zach + Donald a question, email us at [e-mail]. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. musicians in the world. Midnight Chats has already welcomed Taemin Parlor, Charlie XCX, Mark Ronson, Vince Staples and many more. Join me, Stuart Stubbs and me, Greg Cochran, as we talk to our favourite musicians about the things they don't normally talk about. Listen to the new series of Midnight Chats on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your favourite shows. It's time for a brand new podcast. Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You probably don't have time to read books.

Let us do it for you. We've decided, because we are grown consenting adults, that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic.

It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. From iHeart Podcasts comes Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? 911, what's your emergency?

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Hello, fake doctors fans. It's your boy DJ Dannel. Today we are bringing you a classic episode as we prepare to launch fake doctors on video. Yes, the video is coming. It's just taking us a little longer to make sure that everything looks tip top and ready for all of you to see our pretty faces. Now you can expect that video. Get ready. Daniel drum roll on August 6th. That's right. We're calling our shot now. August 6th is when the video is going to come out.

Get ready, we have a lot of awesome guests. It's gonna be great. We really hope you guys like it. We're just gonna get some stuff together. And here's another shout out. If there are guests that you wanna see on the show, email us at scrubs, I heart at gmail.com. Scrubs, I, H E A R T at gmail.com. Send us the guests you wanna see on the show. Maybe we already booked them, baby. I-H-E-A-R-T at gmail.com.

Send us the guests you wanna see on the show. Maybe we already booked them, baby. Anyway, enjoy this classic episode and we will see you with brand new episodes in audio and video format in a month. See you then. Hi. Hi. Hi there.

Hi. How you doing? I'm good, how are you? Just trying not to Hi. How you doing? I'm good. How are you? Just trying not to eat. Are you serious? Just walking around my kitchen, just thinking about all the things I want to eat, but I'm not going to eat.

Why? I'm trying to get skinny. Dude, but you got to eat to get skinny though. That's the thing. That's the, the, hold on. I know, but I had a smoothie. I had a healthy smoothie and I enjoyed that. And then it was like, I was like, all right,

leave the fucking kitchen, don't eat. Why are you eating? Zach, how much do you weigh right now? Truth, 100? It's all relative. Everyone has a goal, Donald, it's all relative. Are you trying to weigh under 100 pounds? Is that your goal?

No, I'd like to just lose, I'd like to lose a little of my melted candle around my love handles. Got it. Yeah. Good luck. I used to have a trainer named Jurgen, Bill Lawrence still uses him.

Yes. And he used to, he had all these catchphrases. And he'd go, I go, I'm so hungry. And he'd grab my love handle and he'd go, tell your body to eat this shit. That's funny. Did you lose weight working out with Jurgen? Yeah I got in great shape with Jurgen but his point was like tell your body to eat that fat instead of whatever nonsense you're gonna eat. I don't know it's hard. What's the best shape you've ever been in in your life? What's the best shape you've ever been in?

Couple times, I don't know. I mean, you know, I it's it's it's a lot of work. It's so much work. That's me. Obviously the older you get I'm 45 years old. It's a lot more work And I never was that into fitness and I'm not trying to be like ripped. That's just too, that's like a job. These people we all see on Instagram that were like, fuck, look at that body. Like that's like their job. That's all they do. I don't want that to be my job.

I just would like to be not like post holiday bod. I totally understand what you mean. I've been ripped twice in my life, like ripped, where there was like zero body, not zero, but like very little body fat on me. And that was for remember the Titans. I got ripped for that. That was my first time ever really working out too.

Like I learned how to work out doing that movie. And then when I did Kick Ass 2, I got super ripped for that thinking I'm gonna get the chance to show my muscles and stuff. And I didn't. I had a suit on the whole time. Oh, man. But you want to talk about being in shape? That's the best I've ever been in shape in my life. I know, but it's such a full-time job. I just want to, I don't know, I just want to be thin and but it's hard man. And what they tell you about the older you get the harder it is like, you know, man, it's like, you could train hard for a month at 45. And it's like,

there's like incremental changes. Well, it really doesn't. You were right. It does depend on what you eat. And when you're younger, it doesn't, you know, you can have a few cheat meals here and there. But now at 40, I'm 46 years old, now if I wanna lose, if I wanna get ripped, I literally have to eat chicken, broccoli, and drink a shit ton of water all day. And lots of other things, like finish, don't eat late, like don't have any sugar, don't have any booze.

Booze is a booze, if you're a drinker and you wanna lose weight, I'm telling you, the quickest thing, the quickest difference is just have any booze. Booze is, if you're a drinker and you want to lose weight, I'm telling you the quickest thing, the quickest difference is just cut out booze. Right. Cause it just falls off your body. That's, that is one thing that makes a big difference. And supplements also, you know, putting the right

vitamins in your body because you're no longer getting the right supplements because you've taking, taken away so much nutrition by dieting. I drink this shake that's like everything you're exposed to have in a given day in one shake. It's like everything from like probiotics to proteins, to all the vitamins. It's like everything.

It's like your body's dream meal in a chocolate shake. I hear that. You know, I drink the kombucha whenever I get, I do drink GT's kombucha. dream, your body's dream meal in a chocolate shake. I hear that. You know, I drink the kombucha whenever I get, I do drink GT's kombucha whenever I get like, whenever I get like a craving and I want something sweet or I want something that's gonna, you know, I drink that or if I want to drink, you know,

some booze or something like that, I will drink GT's kombucha. That does help. We're gonna have him on, right Joelle? Yep. We're going to have the founder of GT's on because whenever we talk about GT's, it's kind of hard because we don't fully understand. I mean, we understand what a probiotic is and we love the taste of it, but this guy's a really interesting guy, self-made businessman, and he's going to tell us more about it because I'd actually like to learn more about why it tastes so good and is supposedly so good

for your body's health. Yeah, I want to learn that. I want to learn how he decided to turn something that a lot of Americans were doing into a multi-million dollar industry as well too. You must be loaded. We got to ask him how rich he is. Also- I dare you. I dare you. I dare you. He's a really fun character. I'm sure he'll answer. I want to ask him what his thoughts are about people mixing booze in with it because I do know some people who mix it with tequila

or mix it with vodka and he's Mr. Health Nut. So I wonder what his thoughts are on like, what do you, what do you think when people say they, they occasionally mix it in? I'm sure he's up for it. Should we tell people what happened? No. Why? I want to. Go ahead.

Well, this is the premiere of season four. Yes. Everybody. Welcome to season four. Hello. Hi everybody. Welcome to season four. Hello. Hi everybody. Donald and I got in an argument on Friday and were unable to record this episode.

No, you were unable to record. I was good to go. Yes, Donald was fine to drop it and move on and I was pissed and certainly did not feel like pivoting and doing a comedy podcast. You know, I do have to say- You know, when we hung up, Joelle was like, do we still have a show?

Is this? That's not what I said. I was like, Joelle, if you think this is how it ends, you're crazy. We don't go out like that, Joelle. I said, this sounds like a fight me and my brother would have. I can't hear you, darling, you're muted. Joelle has horrible internet at her place.

Yeah, I don't know what this new house is doing so far, Joelle, but I don't like the internet. So far this new house is- I don't like the internet at all. It's not her fault, it's Spectrum, as usual. Spectrum is a freaking nightmare. Oh, Danil, stop jumping to the defense. She doesn't need your help. It's true.

That's my girl, I always want to defend her. She's a grown ass woman, she can handle it. I'm gonna get you. By the way, I love that Joelle's, she's still going on a monologue even though she's muted. You know what? There you go. Your kitchen is nice Joelle. Thank you it's so big we can actually all cook the three of us in there at the same time. Are you gonna get a little sorry to already weigh in on home decor but get a little really middle island thing like a chopping board on top. That's what we're getting. We found the perfect one. It's got wine storage in it. It's so cute. I love those things. Cottage core.

Did you guys buy or are you renting? We are renting. Smart. Smart. Smart. We are not in a space to purchase yet. Yes, Joelle. Yes. Well, let's talk about that because, you know, homes are just, you know, we talk about how the economy is failing and everything like that, but homes seem to be going up and up and up and up and up.

That hasn't gone down yet. But the rent has tanked. And that's why we moved into this giant space. Yes. We're looking to move and we can't find anything that we like. But you need like an 11-bedroom house find anything that we like for the first. But you need like an 11 bedroom house. Yeah, we do need a lot, I do have a lot of kids.

Wait a second, so Donald and I got in an argument and I was, it was fine, it wasn't that big a deal, but I was pissed off and whereas Donald was like, all right, well let's go just do a show. And I was like, I'm not in the mood to like try and be funny right now. And I do have to say, I once took a self-help course. And one thing I remembered was they said, one of the most powerful skills you can develop as a human being is the ability to drop it and get over it and move on. Well, we took the same course. That's why.

I know, but I was unable to drop it. I tried to use my skills, but they didn't work. And I, when I went later after I had cooled down and was whatever it was, fucking whatever it was, I was calling myself out by like, you know, you didn't really nail that thing you got from the class about being able to drop it, drop an argument and move on. So that's the most, I mean, it's nothing, obviously it's nothing, but that was one of the most important things I got from that, where it was like, look, your temper can get to the level of, wow. But if you're able to say, that was just the,

that was that moment, I can drop it. Let's go forward now. Are you able to say that was just the, that was that moment, I can drop it. Let's go forward now. Are you able to do that with your wife? No, I have a hard time with my wife. Yeah, I imagine. It's very hard in relationships because, but I mean, that's where the mastery of it really comes in. Um, I, you know, if you can have a heated argument, like all couples do, and then

kind of get to someplace of a completion and then go, okay, clean slate, new chap. I mean, that's pretty awesome to be able to do that. I can do it sometimes, but certainly not all the time. I can do it sometimes. That was the first time in a long time that I was like, I can do it right now. You wanted me to try and be funny and I wanted to fucking strangle you. Anyway, by the way, I have the whole, I was laughing to myself going, we should do a rewatch podcast of our fight because I have the whole thing recorded. So do I.

I haven't recorded, too. I haven't listened to it. I haven't listened to it yet. Not when you think I sat and listened to it back, I just, I just, I just, I was laughing going, we should do a rewatch podcast of our argument and Daniel could like stop and start it and we can be like, see, that was a good point.

Just look at NFL recap Just like an NFL recap. Like an NFL recap. You got to be. All I remember was Daniel's face was like his eyes were so big the whole time. He was like, what the fuck is. My parents are fighting. Oh, my God. Well, fans, let us know if you want us to do a rewatch podcast of our argument. No, no, no, no, they you want us to do a rewatch podcast of our argument

with you. No, no, no, no, they don't need to hear that shit. It's about 10 minutes long and we have it all on tapings. No. You guys, because you're the best fans and listeners in the world, it's season four and we have Heather Graham, the Heather Graham here. Heather Graham is in the house. Before we get going, we should probably five, six, seven, eight. Here's some stories about a show we made.

About a bunch of doctors and nurses and a janitor who loved making ice. Here's some stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our, scrubs. We watched your with Zach and Dono. Mmm. What are you gonna bring to season four that's that's unique and fresh and different Donald because I know listen we're running out of seasons everywhere having too much fun although I'm going back to work that's gonna be all be tricky but listen I go back to work too man this is gonna be very difficult I know know we're going to have to get clever. We'll talk about that. I got it.

I got it. I got it. I, I, I got to tell you, man, I'm a little nervous about, are you traveling for your movie? No, it's on it's, it's here. Thank goodness, man. I got to tell you, I'm worried about traveling for projects and stuff like that. Where's your next project located?

Well, my pro the project I'm doing now is still in Los Angeles, but there's a possibility that something could happen in the ATL. And I'm nervous about that because the ATL has different rules than Los Angeles has. What are you giggling about over there, Jewel? I have a lot of cousins in the ATL. I have a group chat that's mostly based in that area. And so, I think the apprehension is warranted. What about LA opening back up,

even though it's fucking in crisis? But the numbers are going down. So I can see where they're coming from. This guy did a funny video I retweeted, you can find on my Twitter where Twitter, where it was really funny. He just riffed it. So basically, LA is like, go out, but don't. But if you want to go out, you can.

But the restaurants are going to be open, but don't go, because it's not safe. But if you do, go to restaurants. But if you don't, sit outside. But if you do, you're home. I'm fucking riffing a horrible version of it, but it was really funny. We're still at 0% capacity in our hospitals.

Is LA still at 0%? It makes absolutely no sense. Yes. I thought we were at 12% now. We're still at 0%. Wow. Big snowball. It makes no sense to open up.

But I guess people, why, Daniel? Why are they opening up? I mean, obviously, business is needed, but I mean, why? Profits over people, baby. That's the decision. I mean, why? Profits over people, baby. No, but the state of California as a whole is The numbers have gotten better as a whole of the state in the state of California. Why is why is Los Angeles opening up? I have no idea why I've gotten all these emails from restaurants that I'm that I go to like yay We're back open as a better that I'm like, yeah

I'm just it just is really scary right about now. Like there's new strands coming out. Apparently the vaccine is holding steady and will combat against these new strands. But some of them are more contagious and deadlier, you know, and the world's still moving. I get it. I need to, you know, sack up and get out and make things happen.

I gotta pay my bills just like everybody else does. But this shit is scary, Zach. This ain't no, this isn't I'm scared. I'm going to go outside and I'm going to see the bully. This is I'm scared. I'm going to go outside and there's a possibility. Not only do I got to worry about violence, not only do I got to worry about, you know, uh, that unknown element out, that evil element out there that's that's that's gunning to kill me.

Now I got to worry about a virus. Like people were talking about how it's like the flu. I don't know nobody that I don't know anyone that died from the flu. I don't know one person that died from the flu. Not one. I'm trying to think. I'm sure there are people out there that do, but I don't know one person. I know a few people that have died from COVID-19.

It's scary, man. It's legit. You're right to be scared. All you can do is be as safe as you can. I don't, I barely leave my house these days because I just, I think it's not safe. It's not worth it. What am I going to do? The car wash? It's just not worth it. I think the one thing that can be said about this entire thing is that this is a failure of policy on our government across the board. Yeah. Where you are, you look at every other country

in the world and the empathy that the people had for each other and the empathy that the government had for its people allowed them to progress and move forward. And in this country, it is that lack of empathy for the people themselves and this need for profit, this need to keep everything going that has gotten us to where we are now. We do need to keep everything going.

We need to start our life over again, but we just did not take the steps to earn that. And so we are paying this. And I usually feel like California, which is supposed to be like the example of, well, I don't know if it's supposed to be the example, but it is like the most liberal state, right? I mean, maybe except for Washington or I don't know.

Sure. Are we the most populated? We're the most populous, right, Daniel? Yeah, I think so, yeah. I mean, California is the ninth biggest economy in the world. Yeah, and I just think it's embarrassing how poorly it's been handled here

where we like to think that things run better. But didn't we have it on track? Weren't we on track for a good portion of the, like, I remember at one point in time, we were the model. We were the, we were the, you know, the, yeah, in April. We were, right. The curve started going like this, and we saw the curve starting to go down and people were like, great, open to clubs.

And then it went straight back up. Right. People, people had to go see, what's his name? Bow Wow. You had to go see Lil Bow Wow. Listen, let's switch to a positive topic like Heather fucking Graham, who's here. Let's bring her in. Holy funny hotness. Holy funny talented hotness. She's so funny and I gotta say what bullshit that JD would ever get

Heather Graham but let's bring her in. Let's bring her in. I wonder if she looks like Heather Graham. Oh look at her. There she is. Heather Graham. Hey wait I gotta start recording myself, right? What's happening? Hi! What is happening? Hi beautiful! Oh my god, so good to see you!

Heather, I just said the sentence that had to start things off that there's no fucking way JD could have ever gotten Molly Clark. Oh come on. Look, we know the real love stories between you guys. Okay Of course but Heather I just want to say that you know Donald that I've been doing this we haven't watched the show in 20 almost 20 years and Every we're having all these fun times Rewatching it and laughing at things and I just got to say right off the bat, you are so fucking funny on this show.

Aw, let's, I wanna do, now that watching it, I'm like, oh my God, I wanna work on it again. I know. Like, for you and me. It's so fun, I don't know if I truly appreciated how great it was at the moment. Bill Lawrence is pretty genius. He is, and I think he gave you a really hard character

to play, and I didn't realize it. But I was gonna say, he is so smart, because that is actually a lot like what my personality really is. I remember how he described it to me. He's like, she's, because I'm super into psychology, right? So she's really perceptive and smart, but she comes off kind of spacey.

And you know, she's really sweet, but she has like some bad romantic instincts. Yeah. And I'm like, that is kind of, looking back, I'm like, that's a pretty perceptive read of me. Like, if you knew this card. Bill read you like a tarot card. But I was watching it going, you're playing so many things at once. You're playing, she's a doctor. She's obviously charming, but she's kind of

kooky. She talks to herself. She holds people's faces. She sits alone. She's looking for friendship. I mean, she's like, you're playing like 10 different things. You're juggling all these balls. And I really, I'm not just blowing smoke. I thought you were very, very funny in this. Thank you. Not only very funny, very charming. Very, very charming too. Well, look, I think it's a mixture of the fact that I'm great and also that Bill is a good writer. He wrote a smart character. You can't play a complicated character like that unless someone writes it for you.

He gave me a great shot in writing that character. Now, how did it come about, Heather? Because obviously we knew you. I remember us being told you were going to do the show and we were like, oh my God, Heather Graham is going to do our show. I was like, oh my God, Heather Graham might be one of my love interest. Did Bill just reach out to your agents? How did it come about? Yeah, I think he reached out to my agents. And of course, you guys are all fabulous, so I was so flattered and I was really excited

to be on the show. I mean, watching it, it really holds up. It's really a good show. I really want to be on it more. I'm like, oh, I want Molly to have some more plot lines. It's fun. I was like, I want Molly to have some more and more plot lines. I was so happy when you texted me. I was texting Heather and she goes, I want to do more episodes of this.

That would be great. Don't you think we should do it? Wouldn't it be great if we could just all go back and do this show all over again, just for a season? I know. Get everybody who ever was on the show for more than like eight episodes and get them back and then let's just recreate one last season of Scrubs with the entire cast again. It would be fun, but the thing is is that, I mean, we always get asked to do this, but

you'd need Bill to do it, obviously. Would Bill do it? I think he'd do it. He just has a time management problem because he has, he has, you know what I'm… Ted Lasso. My friend's working on a show right now, my friend Jamie Lee. I think she sent you her script. On which one?

On Ted Lasso. Oh, yes. I did read her script. It's great. Yeah, yeah. It's really funny. She's one of the writers on Ted Lasso. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So Bill has so much going on, but I think you'd obviously need him to be involved. You need him to focus, and I just don't know that right now that's possible because he's got so many things on his plate. Yeah. I mean, there's… Yeah. Time has to be right because everybody is just, you know… But it's such a good show.

It really holds up. Like, you know how some things you think they're great and then you watch them later and you're like, that's not that good? You know? But Scrubs is really good. Like, later, like years later, it's really smart good. But Scrubs is really good. Years later, it's really smart. It's really good. You guys are great. Heather, I get made fun of on this podcast because I always talk too much apparently

about my favorite episode, which is the first one I directed, which the whole point of the episode is the doll that I go on a quest to bring you the permissions- Oh my God. It's so sweet. Permissions from Elliot that were allowed to have sex. And I just think that episode was so special. No, that was so fun. I mean, obviously you're such a fabulous director. I mean, it was so fun to work with you. I mean, come on.

You're like Mr. Dink. Heather, we need to rush through this segment. But you're being so modest, not like you're dating some hot starlet right now. I am. Oh, you know. I am. But I'm very flattered that you'd want to date me

in scrubs. Listen, the joke continues, the TV guys get way hotter girls than they deserve, and JD getting Molly Clark is... But you know what's funny is that, you know when you look at yourself, you don't really think like, oh, I'm attractive. But like looking at the show, I'm like,

wow, I was much prettier than I thought I... I mean, it's like, do you want to look at yourself? Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather, Donald, you go. Heather, you go. We have questions. I just want to, I just want to, I don't know how this is possible.

You're saying that when you look in the mirror, you sometimes say, I'm not attractive? Well, no, I think it's like, yes. Okay, I'm just going to make sure. I just want to say no. She's like, well, no. The answer to that question is yes. No way in hell anyone on this planet can look at Heather Graham and say to them, I should not not attract.

I love how others like, well, no, no, I mean, come on. I feel like a troll right now. I'm just in the pandemic, sitting in my apartment, I can't go out. You are the hottest troll any person has ever seen. All right, calm down, honey. We have a long show. But look, isn't everyone insecure?

I think I looked at the episode, I was like, wow, I think I was insecure. You don't think, I don't know. I mean, did you guys think, wow, I'm just so gorgeous and all the ladies are gonna fall for me? I never think that though. My track record, however, is I got Casey Cobb and that's it and I'm happy. Donald and I don't really look at ourselves and think we ever really look good. You guys are like heartthrobs.

I'm sure lots of girls like we're... I was never considered a heartthrob. We were never a heartthrob. I occasionally will see a picture of me that I think, right? I'm sure lots of girls like great. I was never considered a heartthrob. I occasionally will see a picture of me that I think is good, and I'm like, oh, a picture of me I like. My nose is at a decent angle there, I like it. You were doing some chest nudity in these episodes.

I did, yeah, I was in decent shape. Well, this was clearly coming back from a hiatus, season three, four. You look pretty fit, yeah. I must have been in somewhat of shape. Yeah, because season three when you came back, you weren't as in shape. I know. I was doughy. Something was up.

But I really like my hair in this too. I thought my hair looked good. I thought Sarah's new hair looked good. We're done with the rocker bob. No, she's great. I love Sarah. Is Sarah on the podcast? I got to go back and listen to her.

Oh yeah, we had her on a bunch. We're going to have her on, I think, maybe next episode. But let's go through. So Heather, the way this works is Donald will first do a summary of the episode and he does it in roughly 30 to 40 seconds, right Donald? Something like that. In that range. And then we'll discuss the episode after. So I get my timer out, Heather, because I like to time Donald to see how fast he can do it. Wait, wait, Zach, where are you? I'm in Los Angeles.

Oh, okay, cool. Looking out your window, I don't know why. It looks like it was like snowing or something. No, no, no. It's sunny, although abnormally cold. All right, Donald, are you ready? I believe I am. Please impress Heather because, you know, she's a VIP guest.

All right, on your marks, get set, go. Season 4 starts off with a bang! We got Heather Graham, y'all! The gang's all grown up! There'll be doctors in one week. JD's excited. Elliot feels left out. Carla and Turk are really feeling the pressure of their new nuptials. And Cox has seen it all before. Responsibility? I'm not a fan

of the word, but I understand its importance. When we're young, we can't wait to have it, but once we get it, we are often overwhelmed. I am very irresponsible, but thank goodness for Casey Cobb. Yeah. Amen. Wow, that was a good wrap up. I think you did amazing. And you wrapped it up, you stuck the landing with a testament to your wife. You know, you always gotta, when talking about your flaws,

you talk about what makes it so your flaws are acceptable to the world, and I am lucky because I have Kasey Cobb who takes my flaws and says, it's his flaws, Love him for it. Oh, that's so great. You're so lucky to have a woman like that. I do. I got the best hype man. Like, you know, Jay Z has Memphis Bleak. I got freaking Casey Cobb.

She's your Farnsworth Bentley. No, no, no, no, no. That's like your assistant. Was it fun riding on those scooters? It looked fun. That wasn't us. By the way, how did they do that? How did they do it? Because that looked like us. By the way, I got to say, Heather, it's funny you bring that up because I am a tech film geek. I like to zoom in and figure out how shit was done. The only thing I can assume

on that scooter gag is that the stunt men are slightly out of focus and they look enough like us that you can't tell. But we're making my face, they're making our faces and everything, dude. But it's not green screen and it's certainly not us doing scooter tricks, so I don't know what the fuck would they did. This is an Ask Bill question, season four Ask Bill.

I don't know if Bill will know, it might be an Ask Randall question. Can we get Randall? Let's ask Randall. Oh yeah, we have the power. Okay, this is our first edition of Ask Randall. You, yeah. We have the power. Okay. This is our first edition of Ask Randall. You got to put some fancy music here. Yes. Then it has to be fancy. It needs to be like Village People.

Hey, Randall. Wait, your dog is so cute. Is that your new dog, Zach? Yes. That is my dog who's one year old. Her name is Billy, and she's a rescue, and she's my favorite creature. So cute. But wait, I wanted to say, so Randall, so Heather, we're going to ask Randall a question. He won't answer it live here, obviously, but we'll put in the answer. Randall, how did we do that scooter gag? Because it looks so good. I know that Donald and I obviously weren't doing tricks like that,

and it's not green screen, but it kind of looks like us. My only thought is that the stunt men are enough out of focus that you can't tell that they're stunt men. I don't know, but it's, it's dupe. It's, it's, it's, it's, what's the word? It's not dupe to me. What is the expression? It's I was duped. I've been duped. I've been tricked, I've been fooled. How did you do it, Randall? How did we do it as a team? The scooter thing from episode one, season four, is really funny.

It's great. I guess what you need to know is it was season four, so that deep into a show, we had regular stunt people who always doubled for Zack and Donald. And as much fun as we we were having and when you have people around like that They get to know the actors and they're fans of the show so they know the mannerisms and the faces and then we put Judy Scooter on a rig so she held steady while they did their well they did their thing and obviously as a fan, you know that scooter gags became a big part of the show.

So that's it. But definitely fun and memorable. If I did do it, I don't remember, how about that? We didn't do it, dude. They're doing like serious tricks and they're not as- They're like spinning around on the bike, dude. No, but the one where he's riding the scooter and his feet are on the ground and he's sliding. Right.

I don't know how they did it. Thank you, Randall. Thank you, Randall. All right, we need to take a break, Joel. Yep. All right, we'll be right back after these fine words with the Heather Graham, you guys. The Heather Graham. From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White, and Royal Blue

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I'm in the Monroe Estate and I just caught a murderer. Yes, I'll hold. Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Douglas Sills, Cheyenne Jackson, Robyn DeJesus, Frankie Grande, Sean Patrick Doyle, Brad Oscar, Nathan Lee Graham, Seth Rudetsky, Leah Delaria, Lea Salonga, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferri. Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay as part of the Outspoken Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. There's something different about the conversations we have late at night.

They often spin off in strange and wonderful directions. So we asked what if those laid back conversations were with some of the biggest musicians in the world and some of the most interesting new artists we love right now. Midnight Chats has already welcomed Tame Impala, Charlie XCX, Mark Ronson, Vince Staples and many others. Our biggest and best series is happening right now. So join me, Greg Cochran and me Stuart Stubbs as we talk to our favourite musicians about the things they don't usually talk about.

I'm feeling more okay with being a diva. There was one birthday when I went to a graveyard. Every partner that I've ever had when they look at my texts with my mother, are like, how are you sharing this information? Listen to the new series of Midnight Chats every Tuesday night on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. It's time for a brand new podcast. Do you love weird pop culture facts?

Like I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well then you're going to love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Steven and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them. We've decided because we are grown consenting, that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you.

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Welcome to Criminalia. I'm Maria Trimurgi. And I'm Holly Fry. Together, we invite you into the dark corridors of history and true crime. For each season, we explore a new theme. From poisoners to stalkers, art thieves to snake oil salesmen. We uncover the secrets of history's most interesting figures, such as Walter Minx, the man who built his own submarine hoping to escape with his blackmail payout under Lake Michigan. It sounds made up, but it's 100% true.

We'll explore the crimes as well as societal forces at play, from unfair sentencing to jaw-dissolving health risks. And tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in cocktails and mocktails inspired by each story. Listen to Criminalia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, Heather. So you get your big entrance anytime there's a leading lady entrance on the scrubs. They always have their beautiful blowing entrance. We always I feel like you more than any character in the Nine Years

of Scrubs had the most slow motion fan blows on you. Really? Oh, I'm so flattered. I mean, it is cool as a woman to get some fans on you in a slow motion entrance. I did feel like... I'm grateful. And then again... Oh, but we don't discriminate. It's not just a fan entrance for the women. Scott Foley got a lovely fan entrance. Yeah, Scott Foley got one too. Wow, that's cool. It's not just a fan entrance for the women. Scott Foley got a lovely fan entrance. Wow, that's cool. That's cool.

And in yours, we reveal that the janitor is holding a fan on you. That's true. Because he's drying wet urine, because somebody urinated on the floor? Yeah. I don't know if there was a urine problem. It was like a urine stain? Wait, do you know what I noticed? I don't know. Did you guys notice this from watching?

I recognized that I got to keep a lot of my clothes and I was recognizing my clothes. I'm like, oh, that's where I got those shirts and skirts. Welcome to Scrubs. We all took what we needed. The sequence of us missing each other and being reunited is so funny when Donald's back from his honeymoon. I think it's like you really feel the love you guys have for each other, which I think is in real in life and on the show.

You can feel that love. Exactly. What really caught me off guard though was when they were right next to each other. What was their plan? Why did they have so much trouble meeting up? Right. From here on out, we'll call this roof A. Yeah.

And then how did this happen? It's just over and over again. Turk JD! And then they run past each other in the hallway. Yeah. It's like so, so broad. And then I mount you, that is the first mount backwards eagle in Scrubs history. The reverse eagle. What the history. The reverse eagle.

What the hell? The reverse eagle. I remember us coming up with that on the day and being like, this is so stupid, but we were fucking laughing so hard. We were so giddy about it. Like, you were literally- The funny thing is we had been separated for the hiatus, so we really were like, we were feeling like that,

like, Turk, JD! JD! JD! Oh, I really laughed about that. I didn't understand why did Turk and Karla decide to immediately leave from the plane, go to the hospital, like from their honeymoon. From the airport?

Well, maybe they timed it out so they had a shift they had to get back to just in time. They maximized their honeymoon. That is just the dumbest Maneuver by them. It also might be a TV show or it's better for them to arrive. I'm gonna go with the latter I'm gonna go about the Sugarhill gang alarm clock. That's that was cool. That was very cool I am a fan of the Sugarhill gang That was one of the that that is the second rap that I ever learned

The first one was cuz these all the breaks Break it up. Break it up. Break it up Or you can do break it up. Break it up. Break it up break down. Do what's that? Curtis blow baby to the sugar. Does the sugar hell gang have other songs that are popular besides this one? Pop hippity hop to the hip hop hop, you don't stop. I mean it's the hip hop anthem though, like that's one of the, that's like one of the- Did you guys get to meet them?

You guys get to hang out with them? They did, the scene where they're in the Mini Cooper and they're rapping. Oh wow. We actually got to shoot that with them Yeah that's right, I remember that. And I got to dance with them rapping. You like this, with your arm.

That's so cool. With the spinning. What was it like Donald, Because you had liked them. I remember, I mean, I knew the song, but I wasn't a huge fan of them. But it must have been fun for you to meet them. It was a lot of fun for me to meet them. That's royalty.

You know what I mean? They're like the originators of hip hop. If you just listen to the sound and the way it comes up. And it was one of the longest songs ever too, back in the day. So you could rock out to it and the beat was five. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, that shit is five. I noticed in the alarm clock moment, they're both, everyone gets a chance to rap except

one guy. And so he was just kind of there like bobbing his head. I was like, guess what America we love you. Give that other guy a chance to rap guys. I laughed out loud when I hit snooze and the Sugarhill gang falls asleep. That was clever. Now Carla's chairs, another funny thing. So Carla has moved into the apartment and she's brought with her these, those chairs that you kind of just kneel on. And, and I laughed out loud when I fall over and I'm like, it's like a bear trap. Did you, were you really connected to the chair or was was? Yeah, I really went over on that thing. Really?

Well, onto a thin mat. I imagine that's a lot of pain, dude. I went onto a thin mat and it was fine. Okay. It was definitely didn't hurt as much as other things I've done for America to laugh at. Do you remember Rice Dream? Rice Dream was Rice Dream? Yes! Yes, I remember that. Heather, you're a health nut, you probably drank a lot of Rice Dream? Rice Dream was Rice Dream? Yes. Yes, I remember that.

Heather, you're a health nut. You probably drank a lot of Rice Dream. It was ice cream, but Rice Dream. Oh, it was ice cream. Did you eat Rice Dream? Were you a Rice Dream? Well, okay. Look, do you remember the no fat eating craze where we all just ate all the sugar, but we

tried not to eat fat? Yeah. Well, we were wrong. Why? Cause you're supposed to have some fat, right? No, but Rice Dream, yeah, fat's good and sugar's bad. Now we know, but basically Rice Dream is if you don't want to have dairy ice cream, you can have ice cream made out of rice.

I see. But it's way more sugar. It's got tons of sugar. Everybody's so crazy about this Beyond Meat and all of this Beyond stuff. It's processed so much. That's just as bad as eating red meat. You know what I mean? Well, no.

If you have a feeling that you don't want to eat animals that have that level of consciousness, that's different. Right. Okay. Well, that's a different thing. If you're like, I don't want to eat animals because they're alive and I want everything to live, I totally understand that. I have a question about plants then also, but that being said...

I know, but I mean, for example, did you watch that octopus teacher? Is that what it's called, guys? I don't want to eat an octopus called guys I don't want to eat an octopus anymore I don't I'll never eat a dolphin either I'll never eat dolphin but you watch octopus teacher I saw that octopus freaking opened up a freaking jar from the inside I was like I know you don't watch things but we please watch this pretend there's a Star Wars subplot you have to watch this do they blow up at the Death Star in it?

I'll sit next to you and be like, imagine that this moment, that that's Anakin. That fish is Anakin. I'm in. No, it's so good. That's the title, right, you guys, Joelle? My Octopus Teacher. Yeah, My Octopus Teacher. If you haven't watched it, please watch it. It really, well, at the very least, it made me go, well, I'll never eat, it made me go, well, I'll never eat octopus again. They're super smart. Yeah, I was crying. I thought it was inspiring. Oh my God. It broke my heart. I was crying too.

Yeah. Yeah. I got my eyes out. It was beautiful. They snuggle at the end. Oh. And I want an octopus snuggle. I know. He was in love. Did you guys get that thing I sent you in a text message

with the two dogs that keep posing for the camera? Oh yeah, the white and the black dog. The white and the black dog? Yeah. Kind of reminded me of us. Oh. Great rant from Johnny. Yes, Johnny has a very long, epic, funny monologue

that we couldn't possibly do justice to, but it's listing, it's like a season four opener. It's like listing all of the things he hates, including Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman. Is this the first time he mentions hating Hugh Jackman? This is where the hate began for Hugh Jackman. Now people have always asked us, why does Dr. Cox hate Hugh Jackman? And I think Bill's answer is usually that he was jealous that Hugh Jackman was

good at so many things. It has to be that because I don't know how you can hate Hugh Jackman. Yeah, nobody hates Hugh Jackman, he's Wolverine. Not only is he Wolverine, but he can sing and dance. I was about to say, not only that, he's a phenomenal actor too. He's about to star once COVID is over in The Music Man with Sutton Foster on Broadway.

Sutton gotta come up, go on girl. She went from younger to freaking, to freaking, is Sutton gotta come up, go on girl. She went from younger to freaking, to freaking. It's Sutton Foster. Sutton Foster is first and foremost a Broadway dancer musical theater star. But she was in younger too, right? Yeah, she got younger after her success on Broadway. And Thoroughly Modern Millie, and the Drowsy Chaperone.

Yes, Joelle. Love Drowsy Chaperone. She's like the Scarlett Johansson of Broadway musicals. Oh, well shit. Her dancing is so insane that whereas some people on Broadway you go, wow, she has a sick voice and she's an okay dancer, or oh my God, she's a dancer, but she can kind of sing.

Sutton is like level 10 on both. Well, I ain't seen her do the freaking, I think my butt getting big challenge yet, so I don't know about all of that. What's the, I think my butt getting big challenge. It's the buss it challenge. Oh my gosh. Oh, you drop it? Yes, exactly. I don't think Sutton's that kind of dancer, Donald. Oh, then she ain't my type, but then she don't dance my type. So do you go look at, are you on TikTok now, Donald, looking at these things?

I am not on TikTok, but that, I think my butt getting big, my butt getting big, my butt. And then it's like women standing there like this, right? Like they're normal like this, right? And he goes, I think my butt getting big, my butt getting big, my butt getting big. And then they turn to the side, they drop. Right?

And then they're knotted down like this with they ass. And they bob it, bob it, bob it. Oh, and they twerk? Wow. They twerk that ass in the camera. If you get the chance, look for it. How are you seeing these if you're not on TikTok? Because they show up on Instagram, man.

Okay, I'm gonna do research for the show solely. I will do research. Just for the show. Don't do it for any other purpose. So how do we look this up? How do we look it up, Donald? Just, I think my butt getting bigger? What's it called, Joel?

It's called the Buss It Challenge. It's B-U-S-S-I-T. The Buss It Challenge. How do you spell Buss It Challenge, Joel? I think I... B-U-S-S-I-T, right? Buss It, Buss It. Can you please find out because I wanna research this.

This is important. Yeah, Buss It. This is very important because I've seen some of the, I've seen some of the, I've seen some people that I didn't think they butt could get big like that. I was surprised that they butt got big. All right, well, I'm gonna research for the show.

So, just for the show. Do it for the show, because that's what I did. Every time I go on TikTok, I have gone on TikTok just because I'm curious what everybody's up to. And you can get lost in some crazy shit. Like what? Well, I mean, I'm not even talking about that.

There's a lot of sexual stuff, obviously, people dancing provocatively. But I just mean, like, no matter what you think of, you can get down a wormhole. I mean, like anything on the Internet, you can go down the craziest wormhole of conspiracy theorists and crazy people. Joelle, you on TikTok? No, TikTok scares me. Yeah, TikTok scares me. I'm overwhelmed by all of the content

and all the options you have. And I was like, how do you even press record on here? It's for young people and I'm officially old. Well, there's a lot of young people that aren't on it. I mean, it started, I think, is like kids doing the choreographed dance. But now there's a lot of other aspects to it. Oh wait, he's holding up his phone.

Are you gonna show us a buss it? It's blown out. Can you fix it? We can't see it. Can you fix it so it's not blown out? All right. You'll see one. Oh, they change clothes as well when they bus it.

Oh God. Yes. Oh. Essential. Yeah, I never thought I'd be watching twerk videos with Heather Graham, but here we are. Oh no. It's supposed to be like you're in casual clothes

and then once you drop it down, you are in your fanciest attire. So here's somebody who I would have never guessed. Okay, attractive woman in her sweatpants just hanging around. And I feel like she's about to bus it. And she does. That's interesting.

She got the framing wrong. Yeah, she messed up her framing. She got the framing wrong. Yeah, we missed the butt on the bus. The butt get big, we missed't get the framing. That's interesting. How'd they just change? She got the framing wrong. Yeah, she messed up her framing. She got the framing wrong. Yeah, we missed the butt on the buss it. The butt get big. We missed the butt get big. All right, let's focus on Scrubs.

As much as I want to do a buss it rewatch show, we should probably do a... We should totally do a buss it rewatch show. That's what we'll do after we're done with Scrubs. We'll just review buss it videos. We'll just review buss it videos. So send your buss it videos to me and Zach. No, my God, no, please don't. Please don't.

Please don't. I don't need that shit. My wife would be like, yo, what the fuck is this? I'd be like, sorry, honey, it's my job. I now review buss it videos. I buss it... You guys have not changed very much. I know.

No. For better or for worse. Heather, for better or for worse. I know. What are we talking about here? Well of course you'll beat her son. She's having half her brain removed. Oh yeah, that was funny.

So Kelso says that to me when I'm like, oh, I'm trying to be nice to my patient. And I'm like, when I get back here, we're going to play Scrabble. I'm going to beat you. And Kelso goes, well of course you'll beat her son. She's having half her brain removed. Yeah. A dick. Malik blew up.

Malik blew up. Yes, the car blew up. By the way, were you there when they blew the car up? Yes, that was, I remember the heat. That was the one thing I remember from that was I don't, there wasn't, I don't remember like the sonic boom from the explosion. Yeah, they added that. I think they added that.

The boom, but I do remember the heat, because the car did explode in some... You know what I mean? They must have added some sort of pyrotechnic explosion, but then they added the sound in post. Is that what happened? Well, no, it exploded and I was far away from it. I remember feeling like, all right, it's gonna blow, don't anticipate it, and when it blows, do the jump. But then the heat that came after it was really surprising.

That was the surprising part. Did you ask anyone before you filmed that scene so close to an exploding car if they had remembered to empty the gas tank? I did not. I feel like I would have been like, hey guys, just checking in on a little question. I remember in the pilot when I was doing the gag, I've told you guys this, but when I was doing the gag of the 18 wheelers headed right for me, the way we did it was it started at my face and

then he floored it in reverse. Now granted a semi doesn't reverse very fast, but still it would have killed me and I remember being like, just double checking you're in reverse, sir. He was like, yup. I mean, that's a lot of pressure. Double checker in reverse. You sing the sad song in this. That is so funny. We acknowledge the sad song finally. Yeah. So this is that moment. If you guys remember, if you haven't watched

the episode where JD talks about the score of the show, which at this point, at season beginning season four, we were already kind of making fun of the fact that there were only like six cues that they ever used. And whenever there was a sad moment, it was, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba And JD, for the first time, totally breaking the fourth wall, comments on the score in his head. Well, no, he says it to Dr. Cox first. He says to Cox, he's like, you know, I'm just ready for the whatever it is, the news that you're going to give me because I have the song ready to play in my head.

It's usually it goes something like this. And then he cuts you off. And then at the end, it goes to the song. Then the real score comes on. Right. And then you go, there it is. That's so clever. Yeah. That was really clever. Yeah. I laughed out loud when you go, there's nothing mini about me. And I go, there isn't. That was a really good joke. You're so earnest, Donald. There isn't. There isn't. It's sort of like… What's his name? Stedman? It's like a baguette.

Like a baguette. JD is Turk's hype man sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. He's very proud of how thick you are. Yeah, no, you were proud. Very proud. I'm proud of my man. Proud of his girth. Proud of my man's girth. Now we say Wolverines, let's roll. I've never seen the Wolverines. Is that a bad thing? We talked about this. You've never seen Red Dawn, have you? Never seen Red Dawn or Wolverines. Oh, Red Dawn is the Wolverines movie.

That's the Wolverines. Wolverines, let's roll. Well, they don't go, let's roll, but they're like the wolf. If you get a chance, check it out. Patrick Swayze is in it. I don't wanna watch Red Dawn. I don't think I wanna watch Red Dawn. Really, why not?

I just feel like I've got a lot of stuff to watch. I don't know if Red Dawn's gonna make the list. Okay, well, it's a lot of fun. Don't watch the remake, watch the original. You know we're watching nonstop right now. We're binging like crazy is Top Chef. You ever watch Top Chef? Yeah, so good.

It's so fun. Because I really love the competition of it all. I love competition game shows where talent is the thing that makes you succeed. And this is so fun to watch these amazing chefs. It makes you hungry though. Don't you watch it and get hungry. I know, it does. I know.

You shouldn't watch it if you've had a weed gummy because then you're like, ugh, and that's like the great British bake-off. That makes you so, ugh. I know, I love that too Heather. You just like wanna get cake. I'm working my way through both of those. You know what show I don't necessarily watch,

but I love it because I got some sex because of it. What, go on. Bridgerton, is that the name of the show? Bridgerton, you got sex because of Bridgerton? Oh my God. Why? Is it because there's a lead as a very handsome African American male?

Very handsome African American male, right? Casey got all riled up. And so in the last episode, in the last episode of the season, there's like this whole scene where they have sex finally and he says a line, he's like, I burn for you. And I just happened to be in the area when this shit happened. And I heard that. And I, you know, there was an audible from my wife.

And I was like, Oh, it's gonna happen tonight. I knew right then and there, it's gonna happen tonight. So I waited till she packed up everything, she put all of the stuff away. And she was like, I'm about to go to bed. I was like, baby, I burned for you. Did you? Yeah, I did.

And she said, shut the fuck up, get upstairs. Take your fucking pants off. Take your pants off and get upstairs. That is so funny. I wonder if across the earth, because this Bridgerton show is so popular, Take your fucking pants off. Take your pants off and get upstairs. That is so funny. I wonder if across the earth, because this Bridgerton show is so popular, if men are getting more laid because their women are getting all riled up. They gotta be.

It's like 50 Shades of Grey, they get all riled up. Especially if they've got like... I mean, it's a show about... It's about humans humans rich and poor. And instead of it being about race, none of that matters. It's about who's rich and who's- It's the class, they just make it about class and they ignore what color anyone is, right? Exactly.

And so because of that, you have everybody, fucking everybody, dude. And- But is the sex sexy? Joelle, you watch it. Well, that's the thing. It's not it's not basically a soft core porn like right really? Oh, yeah, there's like the nudity is way beyond like what you would see. It's

like more than Game of Thrones. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not more than Game of Thrones. Shonda Rhimes found a way to make it so that you could see the ass you want to see. Well, it's Netflix so you can have more nudity than ABC where her deal was. Is it Shonda Rhimes? It's Shonda Rhimes. Yeah. Yeah. It's Shonda's... Am I correct in that it's Shonda's first Netflix show? Yes. So Shonda moved to Netflix from ABC in a colossal, gargantuan, Oprah-sized deal.

And this is her first show, and she put out a period piece, but it's like a nighttime soap. Yeah, no, I like a nighttime soap. Yeah, no, I've seen the ads, I just haven't watched it yet, but now you got me excited. You should watch it, Heather, you can check it out. You know how, yeah, I found out about it through my wife because she was watching this show

and I was like, what the heck is this? And I took five minutes and I realized, okay, this isn't for me, but my wife now has porn. I think that's important, you know, We need our porn too, because male porn is pretty disturbing sometimes as a woman going on to it. Stereotypically, women don't like the porn that men watch. They like something like Fifty Shades of Grey or Bridgerton, right? I think as a woman's occasionally looking at porn, it's like some of it is really dark.

You're like, I just wanted to watch some people having sex, maybe some interesting situations, but I don't want to watch people getting hurt or they have a lot of weird incest stuff on there. I think that's kind of creepy. Yeah. It is creepy, right? There's a lot of that. Why has that become such a trend?

Do you think it's because the taboos are all gone and people are like, well, that's the final taboo? I mean, I guess so. It's a lot of my stepmom, my stepdad. Right. And I don't want to see like a under, like I don't want to see a girl that looks like she's like 14 either. I'm like, this is disturbing.

Like if they're like consenting adults, I could be like, okay, you know, but if like some girl like looks like she's like still in high school and she really looks like that, I could be like, okay, but if some girl looks like she's still in high school and she really looks like that, I'm like, this is too disturbing. Yeah. It seems to me that someone should start a porn company that's specifically for women. They have, actually. There are some online. I mean, not like I'm an authority, but I did notice there was one.

Donald, do you want to start this company with me? I would love to, but that means we got to go and audition hot guys. I'm fine with that. I can weigh in on the right. I have no problem. I can totally tell when a man is handsome and when a man is not handsome. Right. So we can say, okay, James, I like your abs.

You're hired. But I think there's a lot of not cute guys in porn. The women are always pretty hot, but I feel like the guys are not as… That's interesting. Because the porn is made for men and they don't even show the man, right? They usually show just the woman. My wife and I were watching porn together and she was like, well, when are they going to show the guy?

I said, oh baby, that's not how porn works. Oh, but I bet you can find, I mean, I'm not an expert on this, but I'm sure you can find porn that's probably more geared towards, if you want to watch something with your woman that's going to turn you both on, something that's not sort of that aggressive male point of view. But if not, Donald and I are going to start a company. Awesome. This is our press release.

I laughed really hard at Akbar saying run away with me. That was so funny. When you, Heather, Heather, when you hold the guy's head and you go Akbar, Akbar, Akbar, and he goes run away with me. That was so cute. I know, he was funny. That guy did the best delivery. By the way, it's funny that you have the character, Molly has this technique of holding people's faces, because I've told everyone on the podcast before, and I'll remind you guys this technique I have for remembering people's names. You just

picture someone from your life in that position. Like, all right, I'll explain it better. Did I tell the guard gate story when it went before? There was this guy at the guard gate on one of the back lots. And I always had to say hi to him and I could never remember his name. And his name was Mark.

So I pick, in my school, there was like a kid named Mark and he was a jock, and he was a drinker, and he was kind of nuts, and he was a character, and he had red hair. And I pictured, it was like the first Mark that came to my mind. And so I just pictured that character from my life in the guard booth. Huh. And- But what if you don't know someone with the same name?

You will. I mean, unless it's a really rare name. Yeah. I could put the name as Adele, sure. Yeah, we'd picture you. My point is that your brain, my brain, and people's brains have a way of storing it better. So next time you pull up to that guard gate, you picture the person that you remembered in that guard booth.

And I just went, oh, Mark. Hey, Mark. And he looked at me like, wow, you remember my name. That technique by the way is called the memory palace. Okay. It's when you place things in a space and give them a very specific pointed memory that allows you to remember them.

It's called the memory palace. Okay, well guys, if you, I'm telling you try the memory palace. It, you don't forget. If you lock it in. I'm gonna try it. You don't forget. And I'm horrible with names. And it just made me think of this again, Heather,

when Molly, the character, is doing this thing where she's holding everyone's faces and saying their name three times. Because how many times do you meet someone and shake their hand and you walk away and go, wait, fuck, what was his name? Because you're nervous to meet someone or whatever and you're not focusing on digesting the name. Well, it's funny how people have different reactions to Molly trying to remember their names.

Like, you know, Akbar is sort of like, oh, and then the other guy, you know, one guy's like, let go of my face. Yeah, well, that's funny how people have different reactions to Molly trying to remember their names. Like, you know, Akbar is sort of like, oh, and then the other guy, you know, one guy's like, let go of my face. Yeah. Well, that's Kelso. Kelso's like, that's great. Kelso's like, just get off me. Yeah, I mean, even as beautiful as you are, I don't know that I'd want a stranger coming up to me and grabbing my face.

Well, not during COVID times either. Well, not during COVID times especially. Dude, we could totally see our old cars in the parking lot. Are you checking this at all? Have you been looking at this? Is my, which car is it? You have the Z at this point. Yeah, my 350Z that you made fun of.

The silver one. You have the silver one right before the Porsche. Listen, the 350Z came out, I told you this, and I thought it was the sexiest car in the world and I was so happy to get a fancy car and Donald made fun of me. He's like, that's the car you got I was like dude you got a freaking sitcom check now yeah I think maybe now is the time did I tell you that I'm now it's season four I'm all in my head if I've told all these stories ready but did I tell you the story about what that one of the guys who I beat out for the

part I ran into him and it was like awkward and he kind of looked at me he's like oh congrats man what. What car did you get? Did you say I got the Z? Yeah. I didn't know that it was uncool to say I bought a 350 Z. And when you said that, was he like, Oh, well congrats, dude. I don't think I get, I don't think I had bought a cool car yet. It had like just happened.

And I was like, my brain, his brain was like, if I get this part of getting a car. Well, yeah, man. I mean, if I get this part, I'm getting a car. Well, yeah, man. I mean, everybody, that's everybody, right? When you audition for a role, that's the thing. It's the hardest thing to be in a moment for these auditions. Like you get the audition and you're like, I'm so excited to audition for this. You look at the sides and then all of a sudden your head, your mind wanders off into all the things that you're going to do after you get the part. You know what I mean? After I get this part, I'm going to go on vacation.

I'm going to get, I'm going to get, I'm going to get, what I'm going to do with this money. I'm going to, I'm going to get me, I'm going to get, shit, my girl going to get a, I'm going to get her a roll. You think about all the things you're going to do with this money and all of the fame that's going to come with this part before you even get it. And then you go on the audition. It never helps because you go on the audition and when you walk out, you're like, well, I guess I got to wait for the next audition to get that. You know what I mean? Like it's the worst, man. I like, I always do that. The one, the auditions that I do great on are the ones where I'm like, I don't give a fuck, man. I'm just going to go in there. I'm going to do whatever the fuck it is I do. And I'm going to leave and I give a fuck, man. I'm just going to go in there. I'm going to do whatever the fuck it is I do, and I'm going to leave.

I'm not going to talk. I'm not going to try and wow anybody with the freaking, what I've been doing in my off time. Fuck that shit. I'm going to go in there. I'm going to fucking do the audition, and I'm going to leave. Those are the ones where I usually get the part. Heather, do you still audition for things occasionally?

Well, that's what I was wanting. I feel like when we were auditioning for things, I just feel like people don't audition in person anymore. Now I feel like everyone has to send a tape if you ever do. Do you guys ever audition in person anymore? Well, no, but not during COVID. Before COVID, occasionally, Heather, when it was like a super fancy director... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

By the way, the director wouldn't necessarily be there. It was like some mega A-list director, but they're interested, they want you to go in. And if it was someone I'm dying to work with, I would do it. But yeah, you're right. Yeah, same. I actually think it's better though, Heather, because you have more...

Really? It's a self-tape. Well, don't get me wrong, it's great to go in the room and meet the director and shoot the shit and see if you have a connection. But I do think a self-tape you can at least shape and practice and only send the best one. But I think some people might be surprised that even when you've had success in this

business, you still have to go out and campaign to get parts. Auditioning is terrifying, it really is. It's the hardest thing on the planet when it comes to it. That's the hardest thing in acting. Forget the part. Forget doing the role. Forget all of the other stuff. Forget everything that comes after you get the part or before you get the part.

The audition is... That's the toughest thing to do. You only get one shot. It's harder than doing the role, for sure. Than doing the actual role. You only get one shot to nail it. You get one shot. And if you're lucky, the director says, I like that.

Let's try it again this way. And usually when that happens, that doesn't necessarily mean you got the role. That just means your preparation wasn't what the director saw. You know what I mean? And so it's like, it's the hardest thing ever. And so to get roles, and I'm always so appreciative that an audition was what it took for me to

you know, you liked what I did in the room, you're going to love what I do when the camera is rolling. And that's the case because I'm going to be so much better. Right. It does feel like a, there's no other way to really do it, but it does feel like not a great test for how well you're going to be on set because you're coming in with all this adrenaline, you're coming in with nerves, you're doing it in front of however many random people. And so it's not, it's a bit like an obstacle course.

You know what I mean? Like you have to like do it now under pressure, go. But God, there's such a high though, when you know you killed it and they know you killed it and there's like- Yeah, it is amazing. It's crazy in the waiting room too though, when you see other killed it and they know you killed it. And there's like. Yeah, it is amazing. It's crazy in the waiting room too though, when you see other, the other people that are auditioning, you know, and if you know them or yeah, it's very weird.

And people play mind games too. I remember back in the day, like all these people would be like, I really was aware of the psychology of the waiting room, how people would try and distract you, how people would, you know, start conversation with you. Like they knew you were going next. So they would like try and keep, take your mind off of working on the lines.

No, I just remember this one kid, I was up for this part, he came out of the room and he was swiping away his tears. He's like, break a leg guys. We all looked at each other flipping through the sides, like where's the fucking crying scene? And this dude, I got to know him and he could just cry on cue. And so he would just put it into any audition to show off that he could like cry,

even if the scene didn't call for it, because he thought it was like going to blow their minds. And I remember I asked him once, I go, so you're just crying in like every audition? He's like, yeah, I try to just to like show them what I can do. And I was like, wow, okay. Well, how do you do that? He goes, I just think of anyone doing anything bad to animals. Aww. And I was like, okay. You know what? Okay. Waiting in the waiting room when you hear someone else killing is also sucks, right? When you're waiting and you can hear that person who's in there is just killing and

everyone loves them, that's also horrible. But don't you also remember those times when you're in there and you hear someone go and they're like, and they suck, and you're like, yeah, so better than that. Thank God. We should go to break. We got to go to break. Yeah. And I got to pee, and then we're going to come back with a caller, and it's going to

be so exciting. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery. Does this murder make me look gay? Master Vandy is dead! Then it's probable that whoever killed Vandy is in this very room. Lock her up. Lock her up. You killed your daddy.

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or wherever you get your podcasts. There's something different about the conversations we have late at night. They often spin off in strange and wonderful directions. So we asked what if those laid back conversations were with some of the biggest musicians in the world and some of the most interesting new artists we love right now. Midnight Chats has already welcomed Tame Impala, Charlie XCX, Mark Ronson, Vince Staples and many others. Our biggest and best series is happening right now.

So join me, Greg Cochran and me, Stuart Stubbs as we talk to our favourite musicians about the things they don't usually talk about. I'm feeling more okay with being a diva. There was one birthday when I went to a graveyard. Every partner that I've ever had, when they look at my texts with my mother, are like, how are you sharing this information? Listen to the new series of Midnight Chats every Tuesday night on the iHeart Radio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. It's time for a brand new podcast. Do you love weird pop culture facts? Like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well, then you're going to love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them. We've decided, because we are grown, consenting adults, that we're going to read a book every single week.

And here we are. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We discuss the inner workings of the minds of these authors at great detail. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail.

It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Criminalia. I'm Maria Tremurkey. And I'm Holly Fry. Together, we invite you into the dark corridors of history and true crime. For each season, we explore a new theme.

From poisoners to stalkers, art thieves to snake oil salesmen. We uncover the secrets of history's most interesting figures, such as Walter Minx, the man who built his own submarine hoping to escape with his blackmail payout under Lake Michigan. It sounds made up, but it's 100% true. We'll explore the crimes as well as societal forces at play, from unfair sentencing to jaw-dissolving health risks. And tune in at the end of each episode as we indulge in cocktails and mocktails inspired by each story.

Listen to Criminalia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back with the, the, the, the Heather Graham. She gets three these. Heather, we take a call around the show because the fans seem to think it's super fun. We invite someone that Joelle has pre-screened to make sure they're not a psycho crazy person. And then they ask one or two questions, and then they ask us to fix their life in some way. And you're very good at this because you're spiritual and you know a lot about psychology, so you're probably going to be very helpful in fixing their life.

So let's invite them in. Dannel, no problem. Here they come. Brittany Rogers. Brittany Rogers. Today's guest is gonna need some. Oh my goodness. Hello, Brittany. Gentlemen, give it up for Brittany Rogers.

Hi. And friend. Hi. Oh my God. Hi, Brittany. Hi, guys. Brittany Rogers and Brittany! Nice to meet you.

Can you fix your camera so we can see your beautiful faces? Oh, oh. There you go. Hi. Who is your friend with you, Brittany Rogers? Okay, well, technically I'm the guest. My name is Alex and this is Brittany. Hi, Alex and Brittany.

Brittany Rogers and Alex! There you go, you got your Oprah voice introduction. That's the Heather Graham. You got Danil and Joelle. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh! I know, I'm excited too, I get it. That's how I feel whenever I see Heather.

So guys, where are you calling from? Georgia. Yeah, outside of Atlanta. Oh. ATL in the house. I think ATL is where the little Bow Wow concert was. Were you guys at the little Bow Wow concert? I didn't even know he still did shows.

Can I say that on here? Yeah, you can. You can say whatever you want. We want you to speak freely. Oh my God, this is crazy. Okay, Zach, I have to tell you, I had the hugest crush on you. Why does it have to be past tense? Because you are ugly now. Because you are ugly now on you. Why does it have to be past tense?

I mean, I know I'm old as fuck. It doesn't have to go away. Can't you have an old crush? It's not past tense. It's 100% present tense. Thank you, darling. I can't say that because I have an even bigger crush on your girlfriend. Yes, me too. I get it. You guys, Chloe's so beautiful. Yes, she is. I'm very lucky. I'm very lucky. Yeah, you are. I'm super jealous. I get it. I get it, girl. Listen, do you guys have a question? You can ask anything you want for any of us.

It could be just anything that comes to your mind, preferably a little bit about scrubs, but it doesn't have to be. Okay. Well, I do want to do a shout out for all the pharmacy techs because we don't get shout outs very often. Shout out to all the pharmacy techs. Did you get your vaccine? Yes, I did actually. Pfizer or Moderna? I got the Pfizer one which covers the other two strains, so I'm good. So Moderna doesn't cover the other two strains? Is this what we're learning? So far that's what is there isn't research yet saying that it has but Pfizer does. They have done the research. Okay I have a question. What can a pharmacy tech do and not do? You know what are they allowed to do and what does the pharmacist have to do? Okay, well, so I work in the ER, I do patient interviews and like I ask them what medications they're taking

so that like they don't take something that counteracts with something that we give them and then the pharmacist reviews those. I see. We do a lot of like hands-on and then all of our work is checked by the pharmacist. Got it. But are you allowed to pour out the pills and make sure the right amounts in or is that

right? Yeah, yeah. So I work in a hospital, like I said, so a lot of the stuff I do are like IV bags and which is my favorite thing to do. Got it. I make like Epi bags and Keppra, stuff like that. That's great. I have another question.

Can I ask you another question about the... It's not the side effects I'm worried about when it comes to the Pfizer vaccine. What are the allergic reactions when it, like they say if you're allergic to certain things in medicine, you shouldn't take the Pfizer. Is this correct? Like if you're allergic? Well, I can tell you with all vaccines, I did, I studied vaccines in school. It's part of the pharmacy program.

All vaccines, the main component is eggs. If you're allergic to eggs, you can't get any vaccines. As far as the Pfizer one, the allergic reactions are usually not as well known because it's so new. They tested it on people with different allergies. And I was told from the research that we've done as a hospital that the reactions are minimal as far as allergic reactions.

Did you get a reaction to it? No, so I don't like getting the flu vaccine, but I do it because it's part of my job. And it hurts going in. But the Pfizer vaccine, I barely felt it at all. Oh, that's good. I got some really major fatigue in my arm, though. Oh, OK.

And it lasted like five or six hours. I was like, ugh, my arm, I can barely lift it. But other than that. To not get COVID though, that's a pretty good price to pay. Yeah, yeah. And it only lasted a couple hours and that was it. I played golf recently with some seniors, some retired seniors a couple of days ago.

And they were talking about, you know, how they were trying to set up their appointments to go get it. And I was like, are you guys worried about any type of side effects? And one dude straight up said to me, I'm more worried about COVID than I am these damn side effects, man.

Let's be honest. And when he said that, it was really clear for me. Yeah, absolutely. The last thing I wanna get right now is COVID-19. Amen. All right, guys, in the interest of time, let's segue to your question. Go ahead. It could be about anything.

Okay. So, the question that I had was there's a moment in season five where JD has this realization that he's turning 30 and he's living on that piece of land that he bought And he feels like he has like nothing to show for all these years of You know no house no girlfriend and Every people I feel like when I watch the show I was like you're a doctor like what what an accomplishment Yeah, but that's not I watch the show, I was like, you're a doctor. What an accomplishment. But that's not said in the show. So I guess my question is, have you ever felt like this? And how does it compare to now that you're older and past the age of 30?

That's a great question. That's a great question. In fact, just the other day, I was thinking about something like this and thinking when I got to be 45, I thought to myself, wow, I really have accomplished a lot of my goals, but am I sort of sitting back now and not being as hungry and proactive at trying to experience new things for no reason? I think I got to be 45 and was like, okay, I accomplished a lot. There's still a lot I want to do, but I'm going to lean back in my chair a little bit. And then I called myself out on that. I don't want to be like that. I want to be someone who's, you know, I don't really believe in an afterlife personally.

So for me, it's like, this is it. What else are you going to try? What else are you going to do? You know, I was telling my girlfriend, we're watching Top Chef obsessively. And I was thinking, God, you know, I've participated. This is just an example. I participated in financing restaurants and that's been fun. I think one life goal would be like really be involved in creating a

restaurant and like the decor and the menu and really, uh, really, really being involved, not just an investor. This is just a random example that came to my mind, but, but things that I, that I really want to accomplish because I feel like this is it. You have to seize the day and make sure it happens. Don? Yeah, I feel like that. Of course, I think we'd all be crazy to not feel like that.

I think it's only natural. And I've accomplished a lot of my goals already, but I can micromanage that and turn those accomplishments into, but I didn't accomplish this. I can get even more, I shouldn't say micromanage that. I could get more specific about my goals and say, I didn't accomplish this. And that's what I find myself doing a lot. I don't dwell on, nobody dwells on their success. Nobody thinks about how successful they are.

Especially if you wanna become more successful. You know, there are some people that are like, you know what, I did what I said I was gonna do. I'm good. That's not me. I don't think that's anybody on this call right now. You know, and so I've accomplished a lot, but there's so much more that I wanna do,

especially when I get specific about it. Yeah, what about you Heather? Yeah, I feel like I still have a lot I wanna do. I mean, I think it's really exciting now that people care more about women's stories. Like I do feel like I kinda came up in a time where it was pretty male dominated. So it's exciting now that people are like,

oh, what are the voices of women and what do women think and me too, and that extending into like female writers and directors and stories with female protagonists. Like I think that's really exciting. Heather, are you going to direct? Yeah, I think I'm working on this movie. You should because I remember you directed a short, right? Yeah, no, I actually did direct a movie. It's called Half Magic. And I have a second movie that I now have a financier for. And oh my god, Donald, what are you doing?

Oh, that's your wife. Anyway, yes, I'm going to direct another movie called Chosen Family that my friend Andre Relles is going to produce and we're just actually casting it right now. I think we're going to shoot it in Montana. That's great. That's beautiful. I remember you directing a short and… Yeah, I did a short too.

Yeah. Yeah, no. I mean, it's so fun. Look what I did a short too. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean it's so fun. Like what, you know, look what you did as well, like just directing stuff. It's so fun to feel like you want to tell a story. For me, I feel like there should be more empowering stories for women out there and stories from our point of view. Of course.

And there's such a demand now. And I notice a real movement in the business to hire more women and to tell more female-driven stories. All right, gals, that's answer to question one. What about question two? Okay, so my second question is... Why doesn't Brittany Rogers ever talk? She shy?

No, I'm just down too southern. That's cute though, southern accents. Have you heard my wife talk? You gotta hear his wife talk. She says, y'all... My wife talk like, hey, y'all. Y'all, I'm from Waco. down to Southern. That's cute though, Southern accents. Have you heard my wife talk? You gotta hear his wife talk.

She says, y'all. My wife talk like, hey y'all. Y'all, I'm from Waco. I'm from Texas, where we talk slow. A suburb of Waco. We went on a class trip to Waco. Actually, it's so Southern down here that I have a friend that told me she's from Alabama.

She said, yeah, one time in school, they took us to Daga for a field trip and they took the school bus on the track. Wait, what do you mean? They put the school bus on the track. Yeah. Where did they take the school bus to trip to? Talladega. Talladega. Talladega. Talladega. Talladega.

Talladega. They went to Daga and they went on the track. I remember Casey was once talking about one of her relatives' house and how inexpensive it was. And she was like, y'all, and it was a nice house. It had a swing set in the Seaman. You know they Southern, like I say July, you know a Southern person when they say July. But I just love that one of the selling points for Casey about the house being nice was that

the swing set was in the Seaman. It wasn't one of those bullshit, not attached ones. It wasn't in the dirt. It was all over. I think Southern accents are super cute, right? So cute. Yeah. There you go, girls. That's from Heather Graham. No, we sound dumb as shit.

No. No. I think it's cute. All right, go ahead. Go ahead with your question. Okay, so my next question is, what moments in television or theater or movies where you felt like you could relate to those moments

and where you said, yes, that's exactly how that feels. What were those moments for you? Well, at the end of La La Land, obviously. In our show, or you just mean in like in film and TV? Well, in general, I asked that question because, I mean, it's not just the finale. It's that episode where you guys lose three patients. It just expresses the the real version of death.

It doesn't sugarcoat it. And that was a moment for me. So I was just curious if you guys had moments like that, that you were a part of or that you just witnessed as a regular movie viewer. You know, I know I know we have Heather Graham on the show, but my first time seeing Swingers, I had just moved out to Los Angeles. And I really felt like that was how it felt to be in Los Angeles, in the industry and struggling as an actor. And so when I saw that movie, I

and the ending after he gets the number after he gets Heather's number and they're, you know, talking at the car and they get to the, he gets to the house and she's already called him and everything like that. I just thought this is, the next day she's called him. I just thought, I was like, this is perfect. This is exactly what it feels like to be in this moment right now. Oh, that's good. exactly what it feels like to be in this moment right now. Oh, that's good. Like when Fabro's buddy says to him, we made it, we're here. You know what I mean?

We're not in New York anymore. That's the success story right there. That felt real to me. You know, it's funny, I totally forgot that Heather is the dreamy girl at the end of Swingers. Heather, we love that movie. We talk about the movie all theingers. Heather, we love that movie. We talk about the movie all the time. That's cool. Yeah. Well, you know, they made that movie for like $250,000 and that we shot

on a lot of locations. They didn't have them shut for the shoot because we didn't have enough money, so it was open and there were all these people in the bar, just regular people and we just, they had a camera. It was very guerrilla. Yeah. It was so great. One of them, one of them amazing. Yeah. And Donald's right. If you want to, if you're curious to know at least a certain time, I mean, what it was like to come out and be a struggling actor in LA, I think it's probably, it's

probably all, it probably all still holds up. It's just that it was. Nineties. Right. Like nobody has the, what was the shit that we used to put on our cars to stop people from stealing it? Oh, the club. The club.

We all got low jack now. All right, let's move on to Fix Your Life. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. It's time to fix your life. Now listen, not only do we have Heather Graham here because she's a great actress, but she's also very smart and very into therapy and new age stuff. She's going to really lead the charge here with your question. So you're getting a real pro.

Okay. Um, I guess my fix, my life would be, I was supposed to come on the podcast originally for the Turk and Carla wedding episode. What happened? Um, well my fiance of five years, uh, messed up. There was, there was a little bit of a, you know, double dipping. There was a little bit of a, you know, double dipping. Pee-a-ho. Oh my God. You found out that he was unfaithful to you.

Yes, the day before Christmas Eve. Oh. Oh, that sucks. So after you killed him, you need us to, you need us to help you bury the body, is that what's up? No, no, wait, wait, finish what happened, what happened? You were gonna come on the show and you had to cancel it cause this is some serious drama.

So, yeah, so I had to go through all of that of canceling the wedding and I'm in the process of still moving out and yeah. So it's, is he frozen like that? No. I'm sorry, I mean, we're trying to be funny but I'm so sorry for you. That's fucking horrible.

I'm so sorry that that happened to you. It sucks. I guess that's where my first question came from is just like, you know, where do I go from here? Like five years in my life. Well, listen. Okay, wait, I have a good one. Go Heather, go.

Heather Graham. Rejection is God's protection. Maybe he's dodged a bullet. I mean, you could have married him. Let me tell you something. If he's gonna cheat on you while you're fucking engaged before the wedding, you think that's not going to happen over and over and over again?

Fuck that guy. No, better to find out now before you've married him, you know? She said that's what she said. I said, you're not Heather Graham. No, but it's funny because in the episode, actually it's the second episode of season four, everyone's giving Sarah's character advice, but she won't listen to anyone, but she listens to me. It's kind of-

And then Karla gets mad about it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, you deserve to be happy. Sorry, go, Doc. Listen, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. And if you think that guy was not going to do that over and over again, if he's doing that before the wedding, like leading up to the wedding. Yeah, I mean, that is the ultimate example of bullet dodged.

Joelle, come on, you're another strong female voice. Yeah, no, get first of all, screw that guy for life. Like what is wrong with you? So I don't ever understand. Like, if you don't want to do this, like you could just be honest about it. And we can. I don't like people wasting my time, as I'm sure you feel. So I'm glad you're like out of that space and glad you have such a good friend as Brittany. Brittany, we were because we were going to try to coordinate, you know, Alex, like getting married,

like on the same day we talked about having like Randall coming in officiating. And so like and she planned a lot of this for her fiance. And so it's clear to me, Alex, that you have so much love to give and that you truly care. So I would say take the time to heal from this because you've got to mourn the relationship. It's a big loss.

But once you're over that, once you've put that in its place and gotten on with it, you have, it's almost a gift. You've been given like a whole new opportunity to evaluate like what's really important to you. So that the next time you're ready to like give your heart to someone, you're gonna be like, I know exactly what I'm looking for and what I'm not.

And you're gonna be just so ready for that experience. Five years is a really, really long time to be with somebody. How did you find out by the way? I found him at her apartment. You walked in on them? Did you know this already? I pulled up on them.

I saw him walking out of her apartment. It was kind of like a movie. Did you already know, did you already have a clue that this was going on or was this something that caught you totally off guard? There were signs. I just didn't want to see them. a clue that this was going on or was this something that caught you totally off guard? There were signs. I just didn't want to see them. Like I found her. It was the Snapchat and I know how Donald feels about Snapchat. It was the Snapchat that I, he was on her

Snapchat but there was no conversation that I could read. It was all hidden. And so yeah, it was deleted. So when I pulled, I pulled, I went, left work early, came home. His car wasn't there. It was actually my car. My car wasn't there at three o'clock in the morning. Cause I work night shift. So I just kind of drove to the last place that he had pinged on his phone. And my car was out there and I saw him walking out of her apartment. And you confront them right there.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. Did he deny it or do you admit it? Um, I mean, he didn't deny it. I was helping her with the laundry. You do it in the morning. Actually, he was doing, he was doing what Donald loves, which is. Uh, God's lettuce. Yeah.

So I was like, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. 3 o'clock in the morning. Actually, he was doing what Donald loves, which is God's lettuce. Yeah. So that's what he originally told me, that that was the intention. But yeah, no, he had her hair on his shoulder. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to hear this. You deserve much better.

Well, thank you. That means so much. How old are you? I'm 26. Oh, yeah. You're much better. Well, thank you. That means so much. How old are you? I'm 26. Oh, you're so young. You have a lot of time. What was you doing getting married anyway? I know, come on, 26.

Were you a 21 when you got engaged? I haven't led your life, girl. You need to get out there. No, I wasn't 21 when we got engaged. I was 21 when we started dating. I know, but you've been with that guy and faithful and committed for five years. And he went and did you dirty. So now you're gonna go live your best life.

I'm gonna tell you how you do it. Only fans. No, don't. The only way to do it. I'm too lucky for that. What does that mean? It's the only way to do it. No, it's a site, Heather,

where women go and shake their booties. Where they do the buss it challenge a lot. You know what? You should get clear. Get clear on what you want and go after what you want and who cares about someone? He's not what you want, right? So go after what you want. Yeah.

Exactly. I agree with Heather. I mean, I think that you're going to find someone who's going to love you and be faithful to you and not fucking cheat on you. That's horrible. Plus, I think you change a lot. In the late 20s, you go through a lot, and by the time you're in your 28, 29, you may be attracted to a totally different guy than you liked when you were 20.

I don't think I'll be attracted to cheaters. No. No. You want someone… Listen, and I got to tell you, you know, that you, I'm so upset. You seem like such a nice person and you deserve so much better. And you're going to have so much fun. Once this fucking pandemic is over, you're going to think about all the fun you're going to have dating.

In the meantime, There's people dating now. I want you to know. I mean, Really? Have you been on dates, Heather? No, but I have, I have, I have some friends that have gone on some, well, I, I want you to know. Really? Have you been on dates, Heather? No, but I have some friends that have gone on some, well, I'm in a walk-in coffee date. I know people that are dating.

I dipped my toe in the dating pool and I'm already exhausted. Oh, really? Just from dipping your toe? Just from dipping the toe? I've never had a toe dipped in me, but I'd like to try it. Oh my. Inappropriately, I would let Flo dip a toe in me. Okay, on that note. Oh my God, look, maybe, okay wait,

back up, maybe you're going after the wrong gender, because it sounds like you're pretty excited about the ladies. Yeah, maybe you wanna try to dabble with the ladies. Yeah, I have dabbled before. Okay, well it might be time to redabble. We lost Joelle. She'd be weighing in on this conversation heavily.

I agree. Women are better. Women are better. You just realized maybe you need to go for the ladies instead, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely going to have to read the rest. Maybe the universe gave you this opportunity because you didn't realize that you weren't done having fun with gals and now you can go gal crazy for a while.

Wait, wait. I have something great to say. Okay, have you read this book? It's called Untamed by Glennon Doyle. This book is amazing. It's about this woman. She was married and she's an inspirational writer and then she realized she was in love with a woman and she left her husband and she fell in love with this woman and she was

so happy. It's all about her leaving her marriage and going through all this. You might find it inspiring. Yeah. Read Untamed by Heather Graham. No. It's like a bestseller. It's like a New York Times bestseller. All right, listen. Heather has to get out of here and we have to get out of here. But the good news is, ladies, because you're so charming and because you're so cool and because you had a shitty thing happen to you, we're gonna do only we can do it, fake doctors, real friends, and that is to gift you a giant palette of GT's kombucha. Are you excited? Yes.

Okay, you're gonna hear it. Wait, I want one! I love GT's kombucha! We'll get you one too, Heather. We'll get you one too, Heather. There you go. Yeah, GT's Kombucha is sending you a giant palette of kombucha that you will love. Joelle's going to drop it off herself. Can Brittany request what flavor she wants? Because there's a lot of flavors.

Yeah, well, why don't you put out... Ginger is my favorite. I don't know what you like, Heather, but I like ginger. Ginger Berry. Oh, Ginger. Gingerade is the best. What's your favorite, Heather? Gingerade.

Yeah. And Trilogy. Gingerade, Ginger Berry.? Gingerade. Yeah. And Trilogy. Gingerade, Gingerberry. And Trilogy too. And Trilogy. Trilogy is good also. There you go. We'll make sure you get all these flavors. And Brittany and Alex, thank you so much. And we're so sorry that happened to you. We'll hope you'll check in with us. Will you email Joelle when you finally are seeing someone you like? We'll have you back

on and we can talk with you and your new love. Okay. We're going to rub it in your ex's face because we're gonna have you on with your new partner all right guys thank you so much for coming on thank you bye guys all right well Heather thank you so much for coming on it was so fun hanging out with you virtually. It's so nice. Thanks. And it was great. Well, I hope you'll come back, because you've done a bunch of these, and I know people are gonna want... I know what's gonna happen. This is gonna air, and they're gonna flood

our... Yeah, they're gonna be like, more Heather Graham. They're gonna flood our social media with more Heather. So please come back. We want more HG, more HG. It was so fun. And thank you, and thank you all you listeners for tuning in. And Donald, I'm glad we're friends again. You know, I never doubted us being friends. I knew that right after you hung up, I was like, he's gonna need a minute.

By the way, I gotta thank you because I put all that time and adrenaline into cleaning my office. It's beautiful. It looks great. I have a spotless clean office because- Wait, Donald, your closet looks really good too. You've got a very organized closet. I'm impressed. This is my wife's beautiful. It looks great. I have a spotless clean office because- Wait, Donald, your closet looks really good too. You've got a very organized closet. I'm impressed.

This is my wife's side. Oh. By the way, we should send Heather a onesie. Heather, would you wear a onesie? Show her the onesie, Donald. Would you wear this? I want the kombucha, man. I mean, ooh, that's cute.

We'll get you kombucha, but also would you like a- Okay, sure. Why not? Yeah, I'll wear it. I feel like- Do you see who's on the onesie? Look real close. No, I can't see it. I don't want to… Do you see who's on the onesie? Look real close. No, I can't see it.

I don't want to take it down. Who? Is it Scrubs? Yeah. No, it's me and you. Oh my God. It's just us two. Heather, I feel like if you took an Instagram picture in our onesie, we'd sell a bunch.

If you don't mind, we'd really appreciate that. Okay. Send me a onesie. Sure. I will. We have some… Oh, you know what's in the store. It should be up as we speak.

What? So many people in hospitals told us that we should make fake doctors real friends badge pulls, which I didn't even know was a thing. But it's a thing if you work in a hospital, you constantly are having to swipe your ID and so it has a retractable thing for your badge. So for all of those people, you glorious people who asked for it, they are officially up in the store. Fake doctors, real friends, badge pulls. If you work in a hospital, represent the show, represent the posse, the community, and they're up there on the merch site. Joelle, what do we tell them? How do we get to the merch site? We'll put the link up in the notes. Yeah, it's Cotton Bureau, but I will also put a link.

You can also just go to cottonbureau.com and search for fake doctors real friends. Donnelly, do you want to say to the people? Go get you one. Yeah, we love y'all and we're really happy that we're beginning season four. We've come a long way, but we still got a long way to go. See you next time. We love you all. Here we go. Five, six, seven, eight. Here's some stories about a show we made About a bunch of docs and nurses And a janitor who loved to hang out I said here's a story that we all should know So gather round to hear our

Gather round to hear our Scrubs we watch show with Zach and I know Mm-hmm. We're out, but we watch your Wizette and I know. Mm-hmm. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart Podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions.

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