Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - Real Friends Classic - 504: My Jiggly Ball

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

J.D. is asked to introduce Dr. Kelso at an awards dinner. In the real world, Donald's thankful for his friends, Zach did a floor routine, and the whole gang discusses old movie stars.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. As important as choosing the right destination when traveling is choosing the right travel partner. Gene! Gene Fodor!

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Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, down. Down, down, down, down. Thank you for being a friend. Down, down, down, down. Traveled around the world and back again. Your heart is true. You're a pal and a confidant. And if we threw a party

and invited everyone we knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say thank you for being a friend.

That's what I'm talking about. Are you back on the weed? Am I back on the weed? Yeah. I mean, not like all the time. So yes. So yes. Oh, boy.

You're growing your facial hair out. No, I just haven't shaved. Oh. We did a whole other podcast while we waited for you. I'm so sorry, bro. My friends, my friends, I am so sorry. It's okay, brother. I apologize to you.

But the card attached will say thank you for being... Okay, okay, okay. He's here. He found us. Well, we waited for Donald for a half hour. He had to upload his new, what, something on your computer. No, for some reason, my computer just... It does this.

It just... It upgraded itself Daniel can tell you how to turn that off Daniel can't you I mean sure I would just recommend turning it on more often that's way too much bong water. Are you high now? No, I'm not high. I'm coming down. Oh, but your eyes are high. I know you very well. So yes, A.

And B, I know you very well. And I know the radius of your eyeballs when you're high. Radius of your eyeballs. That's a good friendship. That's what I'm talking about. How much of the eyeball i can see under the eyelid i know him so well i can be like okay eyelids are that low it was probably a joint 45 minutes ago we walked into a meeting for uh the podcast once i was blitzed out of my mind not realizing

how the what the meeting was for not realizing what the meeting was for. Like, not what the meeting was for, but how important the meeting was, I should say. Blitzed out of my mind. Guy goes to the bathroom. Zach turns to me and goes, dude, are you stoned? And I'm like, yeah, I'm so stoned. He's like, get hot. This was the very first meeting.

You were also late, I think. Yeah. No, I was on time. I was poignant. Are you talking about the very first meeting with the company we didn't go with? Yeah, I was on time. You were late. No, I was on time.

Fuck you, dude. I was on time. I remember the awkward small talk I had with dude waiting for you. You were early, dude. That's what happened. You were like five, ten minutes early. Well, you know what they say, Donald? It's better to be a half hour early than one minute late. That's true indeed. It's what happened. You were like five, ten minutes early. Well, you know what they say, Donald? It's better to be a half hour early than one minute late.

That's true indeed. It's true indeed. I believe that. When you're late to meet me, you're saying I don't respect you. Oh. Oh. No, I don't mean now because you had computer problems. But I mean in life.

I think if you're a young person preparing to go out there into the professional world uh it's better to be a half hour early than one minute late right joelle you're wise listen i as a black person i feel like i can never be late that's what my parents told me they said don't give them an excuse not to hire that to my brother well these are the rules tell that to my brother i'll be like we gotta be there at 11 o'clock he'll be like alright I'll see you at 11 1.30 rolls around he'll be like I'm at the gate can y'all let me in

perfect it's good to see you it's good to see you all we have new merch out very exciting Joelle yes it'll have been a while by the time this comes to air It's good to see you all. We have new merch out. Very exciting, Joelle. Yes. It'll have been a while by the time this comes to air.

This is the first time we're recording audio where the new merch has been out. For those of you who've been clamoring, there's finally a Joelle Monique, our queen t-shirt. It's perfect. It's so beautiful. It comes in many colors. I'm going to get yellow. The yellow looks nice okay all right

it's sherbert color does it say on the back if you know you know or something i mean it should you're only gonna only true fans of the podcast are gonna know who that queen is sure they'll have to add this is a great way to spread the word of the podcast if that's your ministry you know wear the shirt tell people about the pod yes please hopefully when we when it's safe to go back to conventions we can we'll see your shirt and then we'll recognize you as a fan and it'll warm our hearts it's gonna be great now i yes i was about to say i heard it's really you know we're getting to that time where people are like hey we've got a theater opening do you guys want to rent out this theater space it's happening well look at all the

musicians everyone's going back uh on tour so i think we should start to think about a tour i mean uh i agree after i'm done editing my movie um in the first quarter of the year. But maybe the second quarter of the year, we should go on a big-ass tour. Spring 2022. Yeah. I'm seeing all these tour announcements come out because everyone's so excited for touring. I would love that. I think that would be a lot of fun, actually. Yes.

I just want to make sure that we have a giant party bus okay giant party bus no man i want to sleep and stuff too man i'm old man now i don't you know that'd be fun for like the first two days and shit but then after that i'm gonna want my naps and you can bring the bus at a hotel every once in a while are you gonna get you're saying you're gonna get woo, I'm not going to get woozy, but come on, man. I don't think anybody on this freaking podcast right now can sit here and say to me, you know what I miss? The days when I would get blackout drunk, wake up, and do it again the next day. And then wake up and do it again the next day.

I miss those days. I want to go back to that. Listen, we're not those people anymore, bro. No. I may not be that person anymore, but I'll tell you what, if I could go back and do that again for a month, I would do it in a heartbeat. You would die. You would die. No, I wouldn't.

You know how the tour buses pull a little trailer? If you were to go and do what you used to do back in the days right now, you know that African dudes that are carrying a casket dancing? That would be your funeral. I'll just put it out there, dog. I'll just put it out there. Okay. You know how you

see the giant tour bus pulling a trailer on the back? That back thing will be Daniel's bedroom. Come on, man. Nothing all over the road. Come on, man. No, our tour bus doesn't have to be like we're partying like we're like 20 years old Donald it can be a mature adult

tour bus a mature adult tour bus that has freaking groupies and roadies we're not trying to have groupies and roadies we don't have groupies and roadies what the fuck is the tour for okay okay well roadies maybe like one I mean I'm the roadie that's literally We don't have groupies and roadies. What the fuck is the tour for? Roadies, maybe.

I mean, I'm the roadie. That's literally my job. I'm the fucking roadie. He's carrying the gear. Donald, I can't believe you're poo-pooing this dream I've had. I had this dream that we would tour Europe in a giant tour bus and just bond over the sights and try ganja. Can it be, but if it's a tour,

can it be like the tour in Almost Famous where they're on the bus? No. No? I veto. Almost Famous is a tragic tale. I don't want to be a part of any of those stories. But don't you guys want a moment

where we're like all mad at each other and then blue jean, baby. All right. Well, I imagine the tour bus will be very expensive anyway, so we'll get rid of the tour bus. Well, there goes the tour. Yeah, there goes the tour. I only wanted to fucking do the tour with the bus. The whole tour is gone now?

Oh, no. I would like to travel across Europe. Let's get it together. The only reason I wanted to do it was to live my dream of being in a rock band in a tour bus. It's fun. We should still do it. You know, with the bunks and there's like those Star Trek doors that open. Yes.

You sleep like a baby. Yeah. What else should we talk about? There's merch. You get that merch at CottonBureau.com if you're someone who likes merch. By the time this episode airs, will Black Widow have come out already? I'm sure. Yes.

I can check, but I'm pretty sure it will. Yeah, Black Widow comes out July 9th. So absolutely. Yeah, it'll be out. So if you want to lay down the spoilers now, you might as well go ahead. No, I'm not trying to ruin it for you three. You're going to love it. You're going to love it.

It's very exciting. I'm going with you, Donald. Make sure that you reserve your... Don't forget that we have a date, July 9th. It really looks awesome. The commercials look really cool. Yeah. I think if you're a Marvel geek, you're going to go full geek explosion.

Well, I'm ready to... I'm ready to explode! Are you going to go full geek explosion. Well, I'm ready to... I'm ready to explain! Are you going to scream at the screen? No, I'm not going to. It's not going to be that, no. Because you remember when we went to the Star Wars premiere and you embarrassed me in front of Sean Hayes. What did I do?

He was sitting right in front of us, and so was one of the Stranger Things kids. And you were making all kinds of noises. And everyone was turning around, and I was like, bro, you got to hold it together. But I was pissed off. I was upset. No, no, no, no, no. This is the beginning.

It wasn't that one? When you first heard the music, you were like standing up like you were at Rocky Horror Picture Show. Oh. I thought I was standing there like, mm-mm, girl, you shouldn't have done that no you weren't you didn't decide you didn't really like it until the after party when you when you accidentally talked to the wrong kathleen kennedy and spoke to her identical twin why do moments like this continuously happen to me why do they always happen to me that's you know i feel, I feel like if you're Kathleen Kennedy at the Star Wars premiere, everyone's going to be coming up to you. I just don't think the identical twin should be invited.

It's too confusing. No. I think the identical twin has to stay at home. Stay home. Stay home. It's not nice. Stay home. It's not nice.

It's not nice to us and it's not nice to your sister either. Yeah. You think Chewbacca is going to show up with his twin? No. It's not nice. It's not nice to us, and it's not nice to your sister either. Yeah. You think Chewbacca is going to show up with his twin? No. It's too confusing. All right. Should we talk about scrubs? Five, six, seven, eight. This was a very funny episode.

Yes, I laughed a bunch. I laughed quite a bit. This has a lot of very funny moments in it. Moments that... I'm going to tell you something right now. This show has officially gone off the rails. Yes, season five is bad shit. Officially.

Officially gone off the rails. It's crazy. There's some lines in this that, you know, where the fuck did that come from? Well, Jigglyball. This is the Jigglyball episode. Yes, it is the Jigglyball episode. Which is a hospital-wide secret that only JD doesn't know that they're planning on just pelting him. The game is pelting JD with tennis balls.

Nobody really knows what the game is other than the janitor. Well, they don't know how to play. Does the janitor have a meeting? Nobody knows how to play. Everybody just knows that the janitor wants them, when they're talking to JD, to mention the game jiggly ball with the orderlies. That's all they know. Okay, but what did they learn to play?

There is no game. They just pelt you. That's not the game. They just pelt you, dude. Yeah, and I'm not mad at anyone. Can you imagine this happening in real life? And everyone where you work stood in a line and pelted you as hard as they could with tennis balls,

so much so that you have wilts, like open sores. Like paintball, like Like paintball. Like play paintball. Yeah, but worse because Carla's using alcohol on me. Swabs on me. And JD's not mad at anyone. Like, huh, that was crazy guys. Not only that, he also has a freaking

coffee cup. A coffee, what is it? A pot. Yeah, a pot around his hand which he breaks and now is a bracelet that he can't get off. Yes. And you've got your arm stuck in the canning vending machine. That didn't make any sense. A lot of it didn't make sense.

That didn't make any sense. What about the whole balancing wheelchair thing and that JD is balancing so hard that he but but barely keeping it up and he does it's onto the elevator down to the first floor down the fucking ramp down the ramp it's bad shit we are very close I'm sensing my spidey sense is sensing that we are very close to the episode where

ostriches steal your Kango and wear it. It might be coming up soon. That's how, that's how, Joelle, will you find out what episode that is? Yeah. I think it's something, I think Bird is in the title. The fact that JD still has secrets

like him being a gymnast in high school and not wanting that to get out. Why didn't I want to be a gymnast to get out? I forgot. I don't know, but it explains a lot about this. Because Kosta's going to find out. He didn't I want it to be a gymnast to get out? I forgot. I don't know, but it explains a lot about this. Because Kosta's going to find out. He already calls you a girl's name.

Oh. Are you going to give him any more fuel? By the way, this is the episode where Sarah was dressed as Turk, and it's been edited out. I don't know if you noticed that. I did notice that. It's funny. It happened, and it's so seamlessly edited out that i thought oh i thought this was that episode but no um it's been edited out and restored my big bird 508 is um yeah that's coming up guys that

is where scrubs really goes off the rails that's the episode with jason bateman where donald and i are forced into a tree by ostriches acting like sentries. Yes. Yes. By the way, speaking of Bill Lawrence, he taught me how to play pickleball. Okay, so you have to explain this to me because you were like, yo, you're going to love pickleball. I want you to know what a good lover I am.

This is the crazy – first of all, sorry, I'll let you get into your story, but this is the craziest thing ever. Zach never hits me up about sports. Right. Ever. Right. Ever. It might be the occasional, it might be the occasional, you want to play some ping pong.

Right. This looks like you got to run around. There's some effort involved. Well, it's funny. It is like, it's kind of like you're standing on the ping pong table. Okay. So tell me about it. And you're really good at ping pong and you love tennis and it's a lot of fun. And everyone is talking about pickleball.

It's basically a smaller tennis court game. If you don't know what it is, Google it. It's a lot of fun. But it's kind of become this craze. Seniors are playing it because if you love tennis when you were younger and your knees can't do that anymore, it's a way, like my stepmother's in her late 70s and she was obsessed with it. And of course, people of all ages are playing. Anyway, you know how when you go see something and you like it, a movie or whatever, a concert, and you want to call your lover and be like, baby, you would love this.

Well, that's how I felt as I was playing pickleball with Bill. I leaned over to him. I leaned over to him and said, Donald's going to love this. Was this while you were holding his pickle? No, you don't hold anyone's pickle in the game, at least the way he taught me. But we were at a very waspy club. Maybe at other locations you hold pickles.

What is pickleball? Basically, picture it like small tennis, the tennis court, but like a quarter of the size. And it's just fast. And the rackets are smaller and it's a wiffle ball. So you can like put crazy spin on the ball, Donald. You'll fucking love it because you're a spin master. And it's kind of like – think of it like you're standing on the ping pong table, except obviously not that small.

Okay. Just Google image. Just if you're looking or you're listening and you're like, what ping pong table except obviously not that small okay just google image just if you're looking or you're listening and you're like what the fuck is he talking about just google image it and you'll see what i'm talking about um it's a lot of fun i played a little bit of uh tennis i'm starting to play a lot more tennis now will you play with me because i'm only here for a little bit and i i would love to have some i think you need to get your quality time with me in before I leave the state. I agree with you 100%. Why don't we make that happen? Why don't you come to the tennis thing tomorrow?

Well, I need you to manifest it, bro. Because daddy's not here that long. You're going to miss me. Come tomorrow, damn it! To tennis? Yeah. I will. JD, okay, so I'm fondling you with the newly edited moment out and I'm feeling you up. Yes. JD, okay, so I'm fondling you with the newly edited moment out,

and I'm feeling you up. Yes. You're nice perky bees. They look like Cs, but they're really bees. They're definitely a perky bee. Especially this season. You're all trim, and you've got pectoralis majors. You're all trim now.

You guys, this dude sends me freaking photos. Enough's enough, bud. I don't send them anymore because on the last time we recorded, you said that you were feeling that it was too homoerotic. I have like six or seven of them. I don't know who to send them to. I send them to my girlfriend and I get appreciation. And who else can I send them to?

You. I can't send them to like, what am I going to do with them? I'm trying to get an attaboy from you. My whole life, I'm just trying to get attaboys from you. Attaboy! Okay, so back to the show scrubs. Deadwood, we bring up. Did you know cowboys used to curse?

You know what? Even if you didn't watch the show, the reference is so JD and Turk. You know what I mean? Like, even if you didn't watch the show the reference is so jd and turk you know what i mean like even if you didn't watch deadwood and you didn't know that cowboys cursed and everything like that just the reference did you know cowboys it's so non-sequitur i mean i don't know anything about i imagine deadwood was a very popular show at the time i've never seen deadwood but i know i remember the cowboys curse to this day i? There's a lot of cursing. And I love Timothy Oliphant.

As you know, we made a movie together called The Broken Hearts Club. Yeah. I've never seen Deadwood. Should I see Deadwood? Yes. It's good. Really?

Oh, yeah. I consider it a prestige HBO show. How many seasons are there? Three or so? Three? I think it's three. Yeah, I'll double check, but not that many.

And what was unique about it was the language. They didn't speak like we always think cowboys it was almost shakespearean it was no they said shit like that too but it was almost shakespearean the way they talked all right yeah three seasons it's on hbo max right now if the people want to watch it it's it was like it was coming out around like the time of breaking bad and stuff and it was not like the glossy sort of um western that we were used to at the time if you think of like a tombstone or something like that was sort of like the last westerns uh of cinema age until you know recently is there sex oh yeah, yeah. We spend a lot of time in a whorehouse. A brothel? Yeah, there's a

lot of nudity. Well, you don't say whorehouse anymore. I said, well, we will cut it. We say place. No, we don't. We say place where sex workers rent vulvas. That's the correct way to say it. That's the

appropriate way to say it. I's the appropriate way to say it. I got to go to my local Volfa dealership? Yes. Oh, no. Danil. It's a Volfa dealership. I'm prepared. Oh, boy.

Oh, yeah. Well, I'm in. I started watching Bosch because everyone said to watch Bosch. What is Bosch? What is that? Bosch is like an LA neo-noir detective show. And my parents really like it. A lot of people are talking about it.

You know, it's like you follow a murder mystery over the course of each season. And I like it so far. Okay. I was saying, we were talking about how J.D. was a gymnast in high school, and then we kind of left it alone. But it explains a lot about, you know, your Pratt Falls and all of that stuff and how he's able to dangle so well. You'd think that he would be a bit more coordinated, though. He's very goofy and clumsy. in it, though. He's very goofy and clumsy.

I mean, how many... In many schools, I'm sure there are not enough boys to fill a men's gymnastics team. So maybe he wasn't very good, but he was still on the team. I remember we had to take gymnastics as part of my gym to his head thing. And we had to

learn a floor routine. I remember thinking, this is so ridiculous. Wait, you had to learn a floor routine? Yes remember thinking this is so ridiculous. Wait, you had to learn a floor routine? Yeah. Public high school in New Jersey, you had to take gymnastics. And they set up the whole gym with all the different things. Wait a second. Yeah. I didn't wear bedazzled clothing or anything.

Are you telling me there was a moment in time where you did a floor routine? Yes, I did. Did you do the horse no but i chose now no you did not no you did not no you did not no you did not please tell me this is a lie this is true no we must tell story didn't we didn't pick music we didn't pick music but but i remember you had to like you had to put together a routine that was enough points. But I wasn't a gymnast, so it was ridiculous. It was like three somersaults into a cartwheel, jump, leap, land.

It was like something that a beginner could do, but at least showed that you were trying. I'm so happy I did not go to public high school in jersey if this is what yeah you had to do it you had did anybody ever take it really seriously like of course there were girls particularly who were like you know had done gymnastics as kids who were who were naturally amazing and i would try and copy them and then get hurt okay how about that girl some what's her name simone biles yeah she's doing stuff that they're like um this is too dangerous to be done she's doing it yeah she's not since nadia when she was standing on beams and flipping over and stuff i don't think they've banned a move since then

i always get so nervous when they when they're on the balance beam doing that stuff. Like they're going to break their spine. Speaking of nervous energy, when people fall, do you, and you see it, do you feel it anywhere in your body? I think I hold my neck. Like I'm like, oh, my spine. Your spine feels so fragile at the back of your neck. I feel it in my balls.

Even if it's a woman? No matter who it is, no matter who falls neck i feel it in my balls even if it's a woman no matter who it is no matter who falls i feel it in my balls like do you laugh when people fall when it's funny right because there's time when people fall where it's like, ooh, that looked like it really, really hurt. I think I'm more likely to laugh at an ice skater falling than a gymnast. No, not if an ice skater falls on their face. No, but I mean, when I think of Olympic gymnastics and they fall, I feel so sad for them. But I'm more apt to giggle when an ice skater falls. Oh, man.

Did you ever see ice castles? Did you ever see ice castles? Did you ever see Ice Castles? No. What's Ice Castles? You've never seen Ice Castles? Have any of you guys ever seen Ice Castles? No. With the theme song, please don't let this feeling end.

Yes. You know Robbie Benson? Y'all never seen Ice Castles. No idea. You know who Robbie Benson is though, right? Yeah, I can picture him. You don't know who Robbie Benson is? I know who Robert Benson is.

I'm older than they are. Robert Benson. Robbie Benson. From the 1978 film Ice Castles, of course. He had blue eyes. I remember he had really blue eyes, right? He was also the Beast's voice. He was also the Beast's voice. Oh, of course. He had blue eyes. I remember he had really blue eyes, right? He was also the Beast's voice. He was also the Beast's

voice. Oh, he was. Beauty and the Beast. Okay. Because I can't picture his face. Robbie Benson. Yeah. Wasn't he in Bankshot or something like that? He was also in Most Extreme Primate. That's sick.

He was in Running Brave and The Chosen and One on One. This guy has a long This dude was the king, dude! He works, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta Google old images to get his face. Y'all are freaking hating on him.

He's shirtless with a surfboard. Here he is shirtless with a surfboard, guys. Anyway, Ice Castles it's a movie About this girl from a small Small small small town She's an ice skater She has her chance to make it all the way To the Olympics or some shit like that

And one night And she forgets about everybody from her town It's a lot like La La Land Except one night she's out freaking ice skating and she falls and hits her head and goes blind. And it's her trying to figure out how to, you know, get it all back. Please don't let this feeling end.

Does it end with her doing the big ice skating routine blind? You already saw it. No, I'm guessing what the most obvious answer of the plot would be. You saw the movie, didn't you? Does everyone give her a standing ovation and someone has to let her know that she's done it and everyone's happy?

There's a really sad moment that happens when she gets a standing ovation, actually. She does get a standing ovation, doesn't she? She does. They even throw roses. Yeah, and what happens? What happens? What do you think happens?

Does she die? She slips on the rose. She falls again, and then she gets her sight back. She falls on the roses. That's right. She slips and falls on the roses. And gets her sight back? No, she doesn't get her sight back.

Does she die? But Robbie Benson comes out on the ice. She dies. And then there's a sequel where she learns how to fucking still skate while dead Getting the various ice cubes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Do or do not. There is no trial. All right, back to the show scrubs, everybody. Colonel Doctor is finally introduced.

He is introduced. Not only is he introduced, but we explain why we call him Colonel Doctor. Yes. And he gives the okay sign. Is that a Colonel Sanders thing? Did he used to do that? I don't know. I don't remember. He does this in the show, which now I think is like a KKK thing.

White power? Isn't this white power now, Joel? It sure is. Well, I don't know why Colonel Doctor's throwing up fucking white power signs. The plot thickens. It's new. It's new. Maybe it's upside down, the white power.

No. You can't really do okay anymore. It's out. You can do okay. You can't do white power, though. This is white power. I think it's best not to do it. People are trying to curb it.

It's not what it means. It is what it means. I think we just got to stay away from the okay. Not that I was ever away from the okays i mean not that i was ever anyone throwing the okay sign i mean have you ever thrown an okay sign in your life yes how you doing man none of you i'm okay i've never done that nobody here in sunlight sounds good to me never done this uh yeah probably back in my softball years, but... Softball? What? I have never done this in my life.

Well, there you go. How are you? Okay. Shucking corn. And yet I'm still mad about it. I'm still mad that they've co-opted it and we can't use it. Yeah, okay. So we should talk about something else that they co-opted and that can't be used again.

So Boba Fett's ship is no longer called Slave 1 anymore. What do they call it now? Boba Fett's Starship. What? That's not the name of the ship. They ain't a name. Why was it called Slave 1? Because that was what he chose

it to be called, Slave 1. It's a galaxy that has slaves and everything like that in it, and his ship just so happens to be Slave 1. It's a galaxy that has slaves and everything like that in it, and his ship just so happens to be Slave 1. Robot Chicken does a great freaking sketch where Lando and Boba Fett are standing at the

doors of Cloud City, and Lando goes to Boba Fett, great ship, Boba! I'm not sure about the name, though! That's interesting. I saw what Donald's talking about on the toys, on the box of the toys. They've removed the name Slave 1. Okay.

That's interesting. All right, we'll be right back to talk about more Jigglyball after these words. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.

I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.

Beauty Translated Season 3 is coming soon with what? A second host? I'm Carmen Laurent, and this season I am joined full-time by world-renowned Janie Danger. Janie, what are we talking about in Season 3? We're talking about life, Carmen. Beauty Translated is about the many fragmented lives spreading across this rich tapestry of the trans experience. Janie, this sounds like an all new format. Podcasting two is finally here. Thoughtful perspectives on current events. Stunning, sexy, bold interviews with an all-star lineup of guests, and the all-new Beauty Translated Loveline, the first ever. Be a part of the Beauty Translated Transcendental Podcasting experience by calling our helpline at 678-561-27 5. For any problem you may have, we will do our best to make it worse.

Listen to Beauty Translated Season 3 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye. Bye. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. You probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my responsibilities

are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. And we're back! Elliot's high-pitched scream. That shit was funny.

Especially when she does it and you don't understand a word she says. Yeah. What Carla does. That shit had me rolling. Yeah. And Carla translates for her. What about when the janitor says, my TV doesn't get the news. Just the Bible channel and some kind of Chinese boxing.

Yeah. I don't even know what that means. I think Neil just came up with that on the spot. Just like you came up with. I can't feel. I don't know. I'm not even doing this. That's right.

Yeah. What is the actual line? I say. I think there may be something wrong with my spine. There might be something wrong with my spine because I'm not even doing that. Right. That's definitely one of my jokes because I've done that before with you. Like, I'm not even telling my leg to do this right now.

I'm like, I'm dancing. But where did that come from? That came out of nowhere. I don't know. It's just a ZB random. This whole episode has a bunch of random shit in it. So Kelso. Hides as a painting.

Are you kidding me? Yeah, as a mural. He hides in the mural. By the way, they just threw up the mural randomly and we're all supposed to just assume the mural's always been there, but we've seen that wall a thousand times

and there's no mural on it. But in this episode, there's a mural there. Isn't it there for the rest of the run? I think they probably left it up for the season at least, but like all of a sudden in this episode, because they clearly came up with the joke

in the writer's room, they just decided, oh, now there's an elaborately painted mural on the side of the hospital. Could you see him? We learned that Kelso was in Nam, and that in Nam they pulled out his fingernails. Yes. We also learned that

he was caught cheating and forced a diamond stud earring into his ear. But he kept in the whole thing. I know. You see it bleeding. That's how much he didn't want Edith to know that he likes to sleep with vulva rentals. Oh, goodness. A callback.

Oh, goodness. A callback. But this is how Elliot gets her job back at the end of it all. You know? Yes, because she catches him. Now, why would Kelso go to a free clinic? I mean, I feel like he could probably write his own prescription for to get rid of VD. I don't know.

Can doctors write their own prescriptions? I don't know. I don't know. Are they not allowed to? I don't know. Can you write their own prescriptions? I don't know. Are they not allowed to? Can you look that up, guys? Let's say you're a doctor and you get VD. Are you not allowed to write yourself a prescription for VD-be-gone medicine? Hey, so

I have a question. Were you laughing when Elliot said are they trying not to laugh at the word duty? Yeah, I was definitely laughing. I was laughing too. I was literally laughing. Duty is a funny word when someone just brings it up out of nowhere. So funny. Right.

I mean, you can't just say duty these days and not expect people to laugh. Right. I mean, you can't just say duty these days and not expect people to laugh. Right. It's just a word that's just not fashionable to say anymore. Do you have people in your life that use duty not as a fecal matter term? No, not as? Yeah. No. My kids use it as a fecal matter term? No, not as. Yeah. No. My kids use it as a fecal matter term all the time. No, I'm saying, do you have anyone in your life who's like,

like every time I pass duty free in the airport, I giggle. And I make the same joke either to myself or to my girlfriend. I wish I was duty free. Oh, my gosh. Now, if you're listening, every time you pass duty free, I want you to turn to your friend or significant other and say, I wish I was duty free. Under federal law, Donald, physicians in the United States are not prohibited from self-prescribing medications. State laws governing physicians, however, may vary greatly, and some may prohibit physicians from prescribing, dispensing,

or administering certain medications to themselves or family members. I guess it depends on where you live, Donald. Okay, so let's talk about the theme of this episode. The theme of this episode really is, you know, at least a storyline, is that Kelso really doesn't care once he leaves the hospital or that he puts up a front like all my all my all my troubles are gone once I get out of here. Yes, I leave it all at the office. Do you feel like you have that in your life? Any of you, any of you can answer this question.

Do you feel like you have that in your life now? Like when you're done with work, don't you feel like there's still more work to be done i have not mastered this uh craft my father has it down pack and he like for a long time has been like you gotta you gotta get it you gotta figure out how to just leave it at the door so you can just go on and live the rest of your life and i i don't know how my email is dinging and i'm worried about did everything get done and did everyone have a good time and are we coming in on budget like it's just i can't i don't know how same can't not respond yeah what about those people you send an email to and they don't reply to like monday morning i've never been that guy like when's the last

time you went on a vacation a real vacation where you were like i'm not even gonna answer my phone nobody's gonna hit me up i never do that i never doesn't happen it doesn't happen right i never i mean even if i'm on some beautiful beach somewhere i have my phone with me i don't not reply to an email but that would be probably good to do my i know my uh my shrink does that he tells me that he he goes goes for like 10 days or two weeks once a year, and he puts his phone in the hotel safe. And his wife has a phone in case there's an emergency, she can be reached. And he doesn't look at his phone for that long. I can't imagine doing that. It sounds really nice. I aspire. I think it would make me anxious right but then kelso can come to work the next day and then go through everything he goes through

and then once again turn it off once he leaves well i think also he's talking about the decisions that this man has to make they're trying to human bill i, is obviously trying to humanize Kelso a bit here and say the decisions that he has to make are so enormous. And he has to look at the greater good. So the fact that he has to kiss the ass of this potential financial donor who could, if that person is happy, then give money to reopen the neonatal unit. He has to make these giant life and death decisions. And in a way, he couldn't function if he didn't find some coping mechanism, some way to leave it all on the front steps.

But we see in the end that that's not true. He's still – he is is human i think this is you know this is a beautiful episode for ken he was incredible but um you really see that he's uh he's he's putting on a facade that that we the the younger doctors might see him as heartless but he's actually putting on a a front It was actually a really good episode. Like, you know, I was dreading when we got to this point in the show, when the show started to get wacky and silly, because our jokes were genuine before this. Like, they were genuine jokes that we earned.

And now we're just making slapstick. We're being, you knowstick we're being you know we're being really goofy and i was worried that i wasn't gonna like the show when we got here but i'm laughing really really hard and somehow there's still moments in the show that make you say oh shit that's right this is scrubs you know you think um do you so far do you think i mean i look at season five as noticing a turn. I mean, Billy will even say he had to find a way to make it new and interesting for himself. But I noticed that it's taken a sillier turn, but I am still really enjoying this season.

That's what I mean. That's what I mean. I'm still laughing so hard, you know. I was afraid that I wouldn't be. I was afraid that I was going to be like, man this is come on man did we look at us just not really and we're not phoning it in but we're like so i don't know i phoning in if we were phoning it in i think then that would be a reason to be like oh this is jump the shark what it is is just it's it's a it's a tone shift a bit so far but everybody is so gung-ho with this tone shift, though.

Yeah, because we're all excited, and we're all clearly finding it funny. I mean, what about chest hands? Right. Okay, we go to a fantasy where I've had Elliot's hands put on my chest. Yes. She's got stubs. Yeah, yes. And wrists.

Yes. And she can't enjoy the popcorn, so I have to feed her. Yes. With my chest hands. Yes. What about chest hands. Yes. What about the pool? The four pool joke. What is it?

Something, the hotties at the pool. There ain't no women at the pool. There's always women at the pool. Not the YMCA pool on Sundays. There you go. You can go there. You ever been to the YMCA pool on man night? Like, what the hell, dude?

Well, I have no idea it's just a i guess it's a gay night at the ymca joke no yes that is it is a gay joke yes but it's like it comes out of nowhere out of nowhere none of these jokes yeah a lot of it's out of nowhere what about when i say i would never swim in a pond they're infamous for serpents come on what do we do but you're saying what are we doing and i'm sitting here laughing my ass off it's funny who cares exact well exactly i wonder from for the for the fans from the for the fans point of view i wonder if they could tell the tonal shift i'm sure they can of course i mean think about it with shows that you watch that aren't uh one that you started and you go oh yeah this season's a little different um i'm sensing they shifted a little bit but i'm still enjoying it

you know right i think it was the case with mandalorian your favorite show i think like well i was about to say definitely changed tones for me a bit i was still enjoying it but it wasn't exactly the same show in my opinion that's what i was going to say i was going to say it really does usually when shows shift tonally the show has jumped the shark or is it's over i feel like we still have ton of story to tell it's just going to be a new way of us telling it we were talking about dave um the show before you came on the air and uh which I think is fucking amazing. But definitely there's a slight shift this season so far. It's even darker and weirder, but I'm still enjoying the hell out of it.

Right. My point is I feel like it's rare that it's like that. And I was so worried that when we got here, I was going to be like, maybe this isn't the show that I thought it was. But it still is. It's funny. We still, you know, it might be cartoony, but it's so funny. It makes me laugh so hard. I think we were all having

a blast. I mean, I think that's why it shows we were just, we were having a lot of fun. Yeah, but even my wife is still laughing. My wife says, she's like, what the hell is going on here? But she's laughing so hard, you know? And she's the, and she's my, you know, what is it?'s the and she's and she's my you know what is it my meter barometer your barometer thank you she's my barometer on what's

funny and what's not funny because if she laughs i know there has to be some funniness to it and she's cracking up yeah they're infamous for serpents what about that um what about the doctor who says uh I'm going to have to numb you. Num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num. That was a joke before. Where? Okay, so it was, I got a case. Doctor, please.

I got a case of the got to see him. Remember that one where Elliot's showing everybody her boobs in the hospital? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was early on. Right. So I got a case of the got to see him. Remember that one where Elliot's showing everybody her boobs in the hospital? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was early on. Right. So I got a case of the got to see him. One of the other jokes, one of the alternates was, I got a case of the num-nums. And she goes, the num-nums?

He goes, yes. Num-num-num-num-num-num-num-num-num. Num-num-num-num-num-num-num-num-num. Aw. What about when the janitor goes, I'm busy cleaning, and then everyone just starts laughing? But I can't decide if he's meant to be a good janitor because I think he's – I don't know. Well, he's definitely a leader. He's definitely a leader if he can get all these people together for a jiggly ball.

No, he's definitely – A fake jiggly ball. No, he's well connected, obviously. But he makes so many jokes about all the work he doesn't do, but he seems to always be working. Yeah. But then he has a lot of side projects. Yeah. Like the squirrel army. But that was season two.

Yeah, but I'm sure he still has and maintains his squirrel army or does he sell it oh i think he mentioned selling it for something yeah but for i don't know i don't want to be wrong let's ask trevor can we ask trevor sure he does so that's an episode we already covered yeah he does so he sells the squirrel army to was it something for elliot was it to buy steven i thought it was for elliot i'll look it up it's here somewhere hold on i think it was to buy steven no he owed is that what it was because he owed he owed uh carla a favor or something like that because he was scared. I don't know. I don't remember. It's crazy how we were going over this show

and already we're forgetting what we went over. Well, we don't have the greatest memories you and I put together. You know? No, you're right, Zach. The Squirrel Army is subsequently traded over the internet for Stephen, the replacement for Rowdy. There you go. One of us smokes a lot of weed and one doesn't.

Stop it. for Steven, the replacement for Rowdy. There you go. One of us smokes a lot of weed and one doesn't. Stop it. Oh my God. You know, Zach, when we put our heads together we really come up with nothing. Yep. One plus one equals zero. Alright, should we go to break and then we'll have a guest, right Joel? Yes we do. We'll be right back.

If you've been following the news you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast Queer Chronicles A show where LGBTQ plus folks Tell their own stories In their own words

This season teens will share All about growing up In political battleground states I wish I could feel more comfortable In my own body here But that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself.

It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Beauty Translated Season 3 is coming soon with what? A second host? I'm Carmen Laurent, and this season I am joined full-time by world-renowned Janie Danger. Janie, what are we talking about in Season 3? We're talking about life, Carmen. Beauty Translated is about the many fragmented lives spreading across this rich tapestry of the trans experience. Janie, this sounds like an all-new format.

Podcasting 2 is finally here. Thoughtful perspectives on current events. Stunning, sexy, bold interviews with an all-star lineup of guests, and the all-new Beauty Translated Loveline, the first ever. Be a part of the Beauty Translated Transcendental Podcasting experience by calling our helpline at 678-561-2785. For any problem you may have, we will do our best to make it worse. Listen to Beauty Translated Season 3 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye. Bye.

Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. You probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride.

So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Oh, sorry, Donald. Sorry, Donald. Oh, boy. I'm just sitting down. It's just Zach's abs, everybody. Dude, Donald, did you shift?

Did you just shift a little bit? I didn't shift. I got full on erection. What you trying to get into? What they're showing? What you trying to do? I'm trying to get into those ab crevices with this dick, dog.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I like it. And we're back. That went straight to the top. Wow. Danil, you gotta put that preamble in there. That was good. Alright, we have a caller. Let's bring them in, my friend Danil.

We got a caller who gave us a holler. We can talk, start wars, or sing shows there that was good all right we have a caller let's bring them in my friend daniel smoke some jazz cabbage maybe talk about the episode so come on joelle let's get the show on ladies and gentlemen give it up for Ryan Quijada! Hi! What up, kiddos? Hi! Hi! Hi, Ryan!

We're going to keep it G-rated today, Ryan, for you. You got your kiddos with you. We'll get the kids out for a little while. Hi, guys. How are you? Welcome to the program hi hi everyone um and what's your is that your wife's name i'm assuming this is lynn ryan and lynn have two adorable children on their laps so donald will not say anything

inappropriate we're really going to town on these pretzels. It's going to be hard. Where are you guys calling us from? San Diego. San Diego in the hills. I do love me some San Diego. It's the most beautiful place. I do love me some San Diego. It's really where God wanted us to live. Yeah, definitely.

It's the perfect temperature. Always. It's the most beautiful place. I was representing as well, too i like that star wars in the house why do i keep saying in the stuck on it now i know why i have an idea why you might be doing that you want to know yeah Yeah. Yeah. You're stuck on it. Like, it's like, of this particular episode, it's become your Whatcha Talkin' About Willis.

Whatcha talkin' about Willis, Adele Shun. Okay, Ryan, welcome to the program. Do you have a question for us? Yeah, I was gonna start with showing you guys this picture a little bit first off. There's my profile. Yes. Very cool.

In a little bit. It looks like tall doctor, but it's tall graduate. Yes, it is indeed. A little bit of my background. I am a physical therapist, but as of this year, stay-at-home dad for obvious reasons. And that picture was about a week or so before my PT school graduation when we got our gowns. And that was with one of my best friends from PT school, Albert. He and I were big fans of the show.

And we looked at each other and said, world's most giant doctor of physical therapy. Went with it. Nice, man. I appreciate the shout out. And you're clearly a Star Wars fan, which Donald and Joelle will appreciate. Oh, yeah. Not as big as fans of you guys, but yes. Yes.

You can't stump them. Do you know what the name of Boba Fett's ship that was just changed because of the name of the ship? It was just changed to something else? I do not. I do? It was just changed to something else? I do not. I do. It was Slave 1. That's the level of knowledge I have.

Yeah. All right, Ryan, go ahead. Do you have a question for us? You just make me angry sometimes. I know. I love you. I love you. Just hold it in.

Yes, I do. Yeah, my question kind of ties into my career story as well, too, a little bit. But, you know, because of the pandemic, that has been a career shift for me. But I've also had another career shift in actually going into physical therapy. into medicine and be a healthcare provider. But my wife was the one who kind of directed me towards physical therapy. We started dating when she was a second year medical student. And I was studying to go into medical school. But I just saw the rigor and how much she was studying for her board exams. And, you know, I kind of thought, I don't know if I wanted that kind of lifestyle. And so she had worked amongst physical therapists in the hospital while she was rotating. And yeah, she kind of steered me that direction. And I haven't looked back since and haven't regretted my decision.

I'm still in the health care field. Got my doctorate, of course, still. So I was just wondering for you guys, was there any moment in your guys' careers or like a role or anything that caused you guys to kind of like shift or change career path a little bit? No, you know, I always knew I wanted to be an actor since I was five. I had been saying, you know, I'm going to be an actor when I get older. I was one thing that all my when my friends were like, I don't know what I want to do. I was very clear on it.

And I had already started making moves to make that dream come true at a very young age. Awesome. You know, I talk about stop motion a lot on this podcast. And, you know, I like to think that would have been my career path if I had not. Animation would have been my career path if I had not chosen to be an actor. But there's never been a moment where I was like, you know what, I'm just going to shift careers and change what I do or what I want to do because it's always been acting. Yeah, me too, man. I can't say that.

I know that's been a – choosing careers can be really stressful and confusing for a lot of people. I guess I've been always blessed that the second I knew it was a job, I've said on here, the second I saw my dad doing community theater for fun, he was a trial attorney, but his hobby was doing the local plays. And I was like eight years old. And I remember thinking like, wait a second, hold on. This is a job? Like you can do this. This could be something that you're allowed to do and you make money doing this. I never looked back. I knew that I would somehow be involved in trying, attempting to entertain people. You've done really well with it.

Thank you so much. I've liked physical therapists. It feels nice. Oh, God, it does. Right? When they get into that spot. I had a rotator cuff injury from skiing. I had a rotator cuff injury from skiing. I have a rotator cuff injury right now.

You do, baby? Listen, you got to take a Theragun and put it on there. My therapist is the one who introduced me to the Theragun. I don't know if they're a sponsor on here anymore. They used to be. But that's a great product. And it felt so nice when he did it. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. Could you lay... Oh, just going a great product. And it felt so nice when he did it. Let me ask you a question.

Yeah. Could you lay, oh, just going like this hurts. I feel it, but the doctor told me eventually, he's like, I did everything. I did everything you can do. PRP, is that something, Ryan? I did everything you can do. And he said, the only thing left to do is surgery.

And he goes, you don't want to have shoulder surgery. It's a fucking nightmare. So I just live with it. Yeah, surgery is one of those things that they sometimes don't get it right huh no it's just that well ryan can answer but i do but he said you're at least six months in a sling and i was like i'm good yeah yeah you don't want rotator cuff surgery especially if you're active yeah he said he said you know you have to peel you have to peel the muscle back to fix it and then put it back and he's like this is if you can to peel the muscle back to fix it and then put it back.

And he's like, if you can operate with it and you're just, he's like, just don't do that. So I don't raise my hand anymore, basically. If I'm called upon, if I have a question, I go lefty. All right, Ryan, you got another question for us? I do. And this one actually is directly related to an episode of Scrubs. The episode was in season eight, which I know is a little bit further along where you guys are. The episode was My Cuz.

You guys recall that episode or not? But that one involved the Wiener Cuz pledge. Wiener Cuz. Yes. Yes. That had to be one of the funniest episodes of TV I've ever watched of any show. Thank you. Yeah, of course.

Do you have Wiener Cousins in your life? I was about to say, do you have a Wiener Cousin? I hope this is leading to you having a Wiener Cousin. I hope this, I truly hope this means that you have locked, you have docked. Yes. No, no. Wiener Cousin, yeah, Wiener Cousin is not docking, Donald. It means that you have... Connected, though. No.er Cousin is not docking, Donald. It means that you have...

Connected, though. No. Booked up. You won't recall. It means that you have occupied the same Volvo. Not at the same time, but... No, no. At different times.

At different times. Certified pre-owned Volvo. Yes. So, Ryan, is this leading to you having a share of Volvo with a friend story? Because we love those. No.

No. But I was just dying with laughter when they were showing all the background players, especially Colonel Doctor and Snoop Dogg, Resident, that's fine. They were enacting the vow or pledge especially uh colonel doctor and snoop dogg resident at the time were yeah uh they were enacting the you know vow or pledge or the shame right uh and what got me was just the last scene

when it was kelso and the janitor enacting the wiener cuz i don't even remember we haven't gotten that far yeah donald and i are not wiener cousins okay no i don't think we i don't and i don't know that we will ever be wiener cousins well now i can say that we won't be but well you never know you might we might have been wiener cousins and not known it you might jump back into my past and get with some of the young hotties that i grew up with or i don't know i don't think that's in my future but um i don't think it is it's pretty hard to be you know i i you know i think good friends have a rule saying that uh obviously things happen accidentally you didn't know that uh you that you're that you had you had vacated that particular Volvo. Volvo.

Well, I just wanted to find out who you guys thought was there. Kelso and the janitors shared Volvo. That's a good question. Who would Kelso and janitor have both been with? Laverne. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. It's got to be Laverne at the pool party. At the above ground pool party. Oh oh my gosh gotta be laverne at the pool party at the above ground pool party oh my gosh like because we never know what goes down at those above ground pool parties and

we assume that it's definitely sexual and um that there's drugs involved that's hilarious a bunch of doctors high on drugs fucking you can't beat that with a baseball bat yeah i would love that that would be a great everyone's like make a scrubs movie i would make the above ground i would make the laverne's above ground pool party movie the movie's basically a comedy for the first 45 minutes and it's just straight porn for the last 25 minutes i don't know if aloma wright's gonna be down with that do you want to make the call because as you recall she is a church going woman I don't think she's

gonna be down for part two what if we're like Aloma you're only in part one by the way if we did make a Scrubs movie, it would be a great sort of spine, if you will, for the film, the structure, to make it all cutting in and out of one insane day at Laverne's above ground pool party. Yeah. It splinters off from – but it all takes place at the pool party and it all is off to all the mayhem that happened. Kind of like that movie you love with Rogan and Franco made about the end of the world. I love that movie. Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these fine words.

If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Beauty Translated Season 3

is coming soon with... What? A second host? I'm Carmen Laurent, and this season, I am joined full-time by world-renowned Janie Danger.

Janie, what are we talking about in Season 3? We're talking about life, Carmen. Beauty Translated is about the many fragmented lives spreading across this rich tapestry of the trans experience. Janie, this sounds like an all-new format. Podcasting two is finally here. Thoughtful perspectives on current events. Stunning, sexy, bold interviews with an all-star lineup of guests and the all-new beauty translated love line the first

ever be a part of the beauty translated transcendental podcasting experience by calling our helpline at 678-561-2785 for any problem you may have we will do our best to make it worse. Listen to Beauty Translated Season 3 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye! Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer

to a certain extent is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. it's going to be a wild ride so i hope that you all tune in listen to let's be clear with shannon doherty on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts all right it's time for san diego's favorite segment everyone it's time to fix your life. All right, Ryan. You seem like you got a great life.

You live in San Diego, for goodness sakes. Everyone would love to live in San Diego. Do you live in La Jolla? No. Okay. Well, move to La Jolla because that's the best neighborhood in San Diego. Where do you live? I live in San Diego.

Del Cerro. Okay. You ever go to the Old Globe Theater? I've walked past it many times. All right. Well, Donald wants you to go see a play there because he wants to play there. They do a lot of Shakespeare there.

Not just Shakespeare. They do regular non-Shakespearean plays as well, Donald, I believe, like yours. Steve Martin wrote it. Yeah, very nice. You didn't go see it. No, but it is La Jolla Playhouse as well. Great place to see theater

and a great place to go to the beach. It's a beautiful place. I feel like we're doing an ad for San Diego. How can we help you, Ryan? We want to fix your life, even though your life seems to be amazing. Beautiful wife, two children, you got a smile on your face. You can't possibly need anything fixed. Thank you.

Thank you. I was actually contemplating this section for a while. And originally I wanted to ask something about kids, but I think we had that covered. But, you know, since I had the chance to talk with you guys as artists, I was thinking, you know, what does it take to start a podcast? I've thought of some idea one during my time at home and

I was just curious on your guys' thoughts on that. Well, you got the hardest part down. You came up with an idea for a podcast. That's the hardest thing to do. It's easy to say, I want to start a podcast, but then it's like, well, what am I going to make the podcast

about? You just said you thought up the idea during your your quarantine. It's it's you know, we got very lucky. We have Daniel and Joelle and they handle a lot of the business for us. I mean, not business. A lot of the Michigan. Thank you for us. But, you know, to start up a podcast one you need an idea and two you need people that want to listen to it and you need to find a platform to use to deliver it to people i mean that's really all i can say we got lucky somebody said to us we really want to do a podcast with you guys we were like we really want to do a podcast with you guys. And we were like, we really want to do a podcast with you.

And that's how I heart happened. It doesn't happen like that for everybody. So, you know, I think that if you have a good idea and it's something you're passionate about, first of all, it should be something you're super interested in. Donald and I are super interested in being silly and laughing with each other. We're very lucky that we have going through the show to help us because it kind of gives us a framework to things of things to talk about, but also we could just sit here and giggle with these two characters all day long. It's something we really enjoy. So I think your audience,

you know, you have to talk about something that you're, that there will be an audience that will be just as interested in the subject matter as you are and something you look forward to doing. Cause it's, this isn't, it's not zero amount of work you know it does take some some work to to put it out and um and of course joelle and dan will do a lot of work behind the scenes to make it all sound good um but that's my my advice is that if you're going to do it and take it on to have it be something that you're just could talk endlessly about and also to surround yourself with good

people who are great conversationalists because as we've said a few times donald and i love to chat and be silly but we pulled joelle and daniel onto the show and and pulled them from behind the scenes to in front of the scenes because we find them so genuinely interesting and and and good people to chat with oh what you trying to get in? Wait, hold on. That's not the one I meant. Wu-Tang forever. I can't find you honor me, Daniel.

You honor me. There he is. You honor me. Do you want me to get you some stickers and we can put the little stickers on it and write on them? First of all, you're supposed to come fix the pad. You're supposed to update the pad.

You're supposed to put labels on the pad. I'm supposed to put labels on the pad? Yes. Oh, for God's sake. You think I've got a brother pee touch? Daniel, bring. You know how've got a brother pee touch? Daniel, bring. You know how when people tweet shit, they're like, they put the clap sign after? Yes.

Daniel, bring over your pee touch. You should do it all at the same time. Bring over your pee touch. Okay, let me try that. Bring over your pee touch. Okay. Bring over your P-Touch. Okay, let me try that. Bring over your P-Touch.

There it is. That's where it's at. Okay. Okay, now when your podcast becomes a global hit like ours, Ryan, you're going to need a sound pad, and you're going to need an engineer who refuses to update it. Okay, that's part of the sound pad. Make sure, Ryan, that you get an engineer who gets you a sound pad

that takes a computer programmer to operate because it's so complicated. In honor of Daniel not updating the sound pad, I'm just going to hit a random button and see what comes up. Okay. There's a problem I never used. Appropriate. Appropriate.

You're welcome. This is my new favorite. We got Poindexter on the violin and Lewis and Gilbert will be joining in. Rap from little old me Lamar. We got something something

on the guitar and the rap by little old me Jamal. I mean Lamar. Lamar. Alright Ryan, you're welcome. You're welcome. Good luck with your podcast. Thank you. And I hope that you find an engineer who can give you a sound pad that makes you feel good.

Oh, my God. What is it? Donald, we're doing a show here. What's going on? I got a kid in here. What's up, bud? Yes, go. What did he ask?

For Cheez-Its. Cheez-Its? Yeah. Cheez-Its? Cheez-Its-its sound good right now yo this kid is great right now this kid's getting good at basketball man he is like for real for real like i believe it he's starting to shake and bake he's starting to shoot it looks like he knows how to shoot now you know what i mean like it's starting to happen i'm watching him play with his friends and go by his friends and shoot floaters. And he's watching basketball games with me. He's staying up late to watch the basketball games. Like my dreams are coming true. They are coming with this.

Don't fuck it up by being too like aggro dad about it. I'm not, dude, he's the one that freaking gets me to the point where he's like, dad, can we go play basketball again? I'm like, my God, I just played basketball with you five minutes ago. I'm done playing basketball, but okay, let's go. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

Just telling you one thing. Don't get too into it. Or he will not want to play. Okay? Alright, Ryan, we gotta go bye thank you for coming thank you so much thank you take care have a good one i'm gonna be honest with you guys i think we did it we did do it oh yeah all right well thank you to ryan and uh thank you all to listening um hey there's new merch this is the first uh episode where we can tell you go to cotton bureau.com there's new merch. This is the first episode where we can tell you. Go to CottonBureau.com.

There's a Joelle t-shirt. You can finally have the queen on your shirt. Yay. There's an awesome drawing that we licensed from a beautiful artist of me riding Donald. And there's a thought bubble of an eagle. And there's the character names on a shirt, and don't yell at me. People are already yelling at me, Donald, that says we didn't put Ted on the shirt. There was only room

for a certain amount. We'll put Ted on the next shirt. Ted will get his deal. I said the same thing when I saw the shirt. I'm just going to put it out there, but... You didn't say it to me. I know. I said it to my head. I was like, well... Oh, great. That's so helpful that you said it in your head. I said the same thing. Oh, to me? No it in my head. I was like, Oh, great. That's so helpful that you said it in your head. I said the same thing.

Oh, to me? No, in my head. All right. We love you guys. Thank you so much for listening. And we'll see you.

I don't tell you guys this enough. Dan, Joel, Zach, I love you guys. I love you guys so much. Love you, bro.

Wu-Tang forever. Wu-Tang forever. Wu-Tang forever. Okay. Zach. And on that note, five. Casey. Casey. Hey, shut it.

Five, six, seven, eight. We've got some stories about a show we made. About a bunch of docs and nurses in a Canada who love to hate. I said here's our stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Mm-hmm. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show,

which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines exclusive extended interviews and more now this is a second term we can all get behind listen to the daily show ears edition on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts hi Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more live events, and more questions from you.

I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Encore Jane about creating a billion-dollar startup. Walter Isaacson about the geniuses who changed the world. Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.

We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.