Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - Still Talkin' Bout Sex, Baby with Vanessa and Xander Marin

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

Vanessa and Xander make their triumphant return to Fake Doctors to tell us about butt stuff, and how to keep the wife happy. Just a reminder - this one isn't for the kids. Enjoy! Go to vmtherapy.com for Vanessa's guides.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Guys, we haven't talked in so long. I don't even know where to begin. I know that a lot. Oh, man. I don't even know where to begin. Do we talk about Chappell Rowan, whom I love?

She's the best. Who? Chappell Rowan, hot to Go, Pink Pony Club. That one's huge. She's the current kind of big pop star of the summer along with Charli XCX. Charli XCX is having a comeback, huh? She's having a huge, huge summer.

Charli XCX is? Yeah, bro. She's living a brass summer baby. She's living a huge, huge summer. Charlie XCX's? Yeah, bro, he's a Bratz summer baby. He's having a Bratz summer, come on. It's only been on the radio for like two weeks though. And it's everywhere, it's the new color. It's been more than two weeks. She did a collab with Billie Eilish. I think it was the fastest growing collab ever.

Yeah, the remix of Guests. It was all about being able to see someone's underwear. Do you know where, you know where Charlie XCX, where I first heard her? Where, Donald? That little Iggy Azalea song, Fancy. Oh, she wasn't. She wasn't that, yeah.

And then she had, boom, bap, it's all in my heart, that beat goes on and on and on and on and boom, bap, this makes me feel good. Yeah. Well, she has an enormous hit album that everyone is listening to. And it's all over the pop chart.

I know my daughter put it on yesterday. Yeah. And am I saying her name right? Chapel Rowan? Yeah, Chapel Rowan. Chapel Rowan. She, Donald, this young lady had a concert at Lollapalooza and Lollapalooza said,

that's the biggest crowd we've ever had. Wow. That's nuts. For this one artist. She's, both of these young ladies are blowing up. I'm gonna introduce you. They're great albums. You're going to like them. You know what song I really like?

You will like Chappell Rowan Donald. Yeah, you'll like Chappell Rowan Donald. The song I recommend you start with because I listen to it a lot and I know y'all think of course Zach likes Chappell Rowan because he loves the girly pop. Red Wine's Supernova. It's so good. You know that one? Oh yes.

She did it right there, out on the deck, put her canine teeth in the side of my neck. I remember all the way waiting for you. Hey! Many skirt and my go-go boots. That's just fire, real good. I've been driving around LA with like bopping my head to that. Yes, she's inspired by the drag queens, she has incredible outfits. I've been driving around LA with like bopping my head to that. Yes.

She's inspired by the drag queens. She has incredible outfits. What is that relationship? Is she a queer person? Is she out? So she's queer. She's a bisexual. She's of my people.

But the drag queens love her. What's going on with that story? Why is she so- She was performing at a lot of gay clubs and a drag performer was like, I think you are a cisgender drag queen, which the thing about drag is just like overly heightened feminine energy.

So there are cisgender drag queens. And she was like, I really embrace this idea. I love it. And so she started doing like just extra big makeups and costumes. Donald for her Lollapalooza set. She was in luchador outfit with bodybuilders behind her. Phenomenal, so good.

Good for her. A feminine. I saw some video that was like, I don't know how many years ago it was, but not that many years ago. And it was like her busking for like nobody. Or maybe she wasn't busking, she was on a stage with, you know, one of those things where you see video

and there's like 20 people. There's a park. Oh, right. And then they cut in the video, they cut to Lollapalooza and like 80,000 people. This is crazy. Crazy how one's life can change. Yes.

We've seen it. We've seen it firsthand. Amen. We've seen it. Josh Raden. Well, yeah. But Josh Raden's, we've seen it firsthand. Yeah, we've seen it. Yeah, well yeah, but Josh Raden's, we've seen it like in music with Josh Raden. Yeah. Maybe not to this level where. No, not at that level, but of course at his own level, yeah, we saw his life change. He was sleeping on my couch. It's really interesting where music can take you because it doesn't, it doesn't happen

for everybody, but for the selected few. You know what I mean? If you can ride that wave for a long time, you're even the one percent of the one percent. But for the selected few that get that moment, that 15 minutes, yo, you know, enjoy that shit. I feel like that's why all of these artists are so fucking out of their minds and stuff They're like this shit could be gone tomorrow, bro They might not buy the next song so enjoy this right now, you know what I mean?

Cuz you know Charlie XCX. I mean, I mean I haven't heard from her Making music in a long time and all of a sudden this has been like the most viral Album, it's everywhere. Yeah It's been like the most viral album. It's everywhere. Yeah. It's so good for her. You never know. John, you know the John Cryer episode just here

and stuff like that. He was talking about that. He was talking about how it seemed like his career was over. He was looked at as the guy who was given the chance and you know what, it didn't work. So we're gonna move on. And he found a way to get back in these people's faces and show them.

That's what's crazy about this career path, this industry is that you absolutely have no idea what could happen tomorrow. And that's the high and the low of it is that you can, I was talking about this, I'm doing press for Bad Monkey, which I guess by the time this airs will be out, it's on Apple TV, the new show with Vince Vaughn,

and I have a role in it, but I was doing press and they were like, you know, when did you know this show was good? And I was like, you never know when anything's good. I directed the second episode of Ted Lasso. And I remember thinking like, this is cute. Like this will definitely find an audience. Like, yeah, people who like sports and like, you know,

it's got Jason's steak. This is so funny. This will be cute. I had no idea it was going to become like, you know, this global phenomenon. And you just, you just like John Carrey saying, you just have no idea. One day you got an absolutely nothing going on. The next day you're in a fucking, you're, you're playing to 80,000 people.

You're in a number one show, man. That's ridiculous. Nominated for an Emmy. Just Emmy. You know what I mean? It's crazy. Look, talking about how your life changes, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, that's what it is. And also the ebbs and flows of the business that like you can have a, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, that's what it is. And also the ebbs and flows of the business that like, you can have a, you know, just as Charlie XCX as an example, like I don't remember last time hearing her put out music and as she puts out music and she's like, you know, the, the, the it girl of the talk

of the town, the talk of the town. What else can we talk about? What's happening? Let's talk about Deadpool Wolverine, please. Oh, did you love it? I haven't seen it obviously. Neither have I. I, I saw it. You guys haven't seen Deadpool Wolverine, please. Oh, did you love it? I haven't seen it, obviously. Neither have I. You guys haven't seen Deadpool Wolverine.

Did you love it, Donald? Were you very pleased? Don't give spoilers for audience members who haven't seen it. We don't have to talk about it. It's all right. I liked it. It was a good entertaining movie. It did very well at the box office.

People seemed to really love it. It's been really well. They keep going back, too. Mm-hmm. $400 million opening weekend. Do you think it saved Marvel, Donald? There was nobody in the MCU in it. But that's not true.

The whole TVA is in there. That's all MCU stuff. That's the only part. Trimloki. And that's as close as Deadpool. That's a key element. But that's as close as Deadpool got. Oh, also, Favreau in the beginning.

Spoilers. What else can we talk about guys? What else is happening? Joelle, how's your life? Life is good, man. Can't complain. Are you dating? Are you flirting?

Any fun summer flings going on? Ooh, I'm talking to somebody. It's early. There's some talking going on. We're just chatting. But she's cool-toed. I like her. So we'll see what happens.

It's nice to have a crush, right? Isn't it nice to have a flirty banter going on? It's delightful. We exchange, I'm a big fan of voice notes. We just exchange voice notes all day and all get like, ah, just having a voice note, so cute. So yeah, it's fun to be flirty and talking and learning about like really getting to know somebody.

So I'm having fun. It's cute. When you're in those early stages, where you don't even know the person barely, but it's just like flirting, getting to know them, that's so fun. Oh God, yes. Then all of a sudden something happens and you're like,

something happens and you're like, oh no. Not gonna wait, not over here. It's gonna continue to be great in this quarter. Yeah, I've been married for a bit. I'm all right, man. I survived that red flag station. Yeah, you did. The moments of, is that a deal breaker?

Right. Are you going through anything that you wanna talk about, son? No, I'm not gonna talk about my personal shit, but I do, I will go so far as to say that it's fun to have the flirty banter and be excited, be all geeked out like a kid when you get a cute picture or a text, you know.

I miss those days. Those days don't... Casey doesn't send you a cute picture? No, she'll send me funny memes. That's our little banter nowadays. You know what I mean? I'll get a little GIF or a freaking, you know. A meme.

A meme or a, what are those things where it's like a TikTok. Yeah. or what are those things where it's like a TikTok. Yeah. But Casey never sends you like a scandalous picture. No, I sent her the scandalous shit. She never, come on guys. Come on guys. You know the deal.

I be sending my wife unsolicited dick pics, all of that shit. And is she ever like, whoa. Yeah, she always puts the rolling her eyes. That's not whoa, rolling eyes emoji is not. That's funny. Or she'll put, or she'll be like, the kids have the phone. Oh God. Oh no.

Oh no. Oh wow. And then she'll be like, I'm just fucking with you. And it'll be like, oh okay. I sent her this meme that was like, I sent her this meme that was like, from a woman's point of view, she be like, oh, okay. I sent her this meme that was like, I sent her this meme that was like, from a woman's point of view, she's like, I always know when my husband's on the toilet

because I'll get like, you know, 50 memes in a row. Right. And I sent that to Casey and she goes, and she wrote back, you know our husband well. That's funny. Too cute. That's funny. Too cute. That's funny. How about Bill Lawrence in the press, like saying all this stuff about Scrubs reboot?

I don't know if you've seen that. What did he say? I haven't heard anything. It seems inevitable now. Bill can't help himself when he's in front of a microphone and he's doing all the bad monkey press and he gets all geeked out in front of the journalists and they ask him without fail, what's the Scrubs reboot going to be? And the latest thing he said was like, I'll probably have an announcement

for you in the next six months. OK, that's what he said. That's what he said this week. And I was actually doing press next to him. And they're like, well, Zach, what do you think? And I'm like, I only find out this shit when when he talks to journalists, because he gets all geeked out and wants to like, you know, titillate y'all. Well, let's find.

Anyway, I think shit's getting real. For you fans out there that are interested, I think shit's getting real. Let's talk about Simone Biles. Okay. Very finally. I was going to say you're like, what else is going on? I'm like, the Olympics. Oh, sorry.

Olympics, everybody. Olympics, Simone Biles. Wow. She rules. Did you watch a lot of it? Like what else is going on? I'm like, the Olympics? Oh, sorry. Olympics, everybody. Olympics, Simone Biles, wow. She rules. Did you watch a lot of it, Dom? She's incredible. I've been watching the Olympics. I've been watching a lot of highlights of the Olympics

because they come on at such weird hours and stuff like that live. And then once you know the score, it's like, or who won? It's like, ah, I don't really care to see any of the, you know what I mean? That's the, that's the shit that really sucks about, you know, the timing and all of that stuff. It's like, I keep thinking about what the hell is this going to happen in LA?

Like I'm not gonna be here, dude. We gotta get the fuck out of here, bro. No, but like, if you don't live in LA, if you, if you're listening and you don't live in LA, which is most of you, I imagine, we know where to come all Harris don't come don't come Do not what is it do not do not do not come have you guys seen that video? Yes They cut together Trump going I'm gonna come and she goes do not come And she goes, do not come. Do not come. Do not come.

Do not come. Do not come. Do not come. Do not come. Do not come. Do not come. Do not come. Do not come.

I have to say that, you know, if you don't live in LA, you know the rumors that we have a serious traffic congestion problem. And the idea of the Olympics being here, where are these people gonna park? Where are they gonna park? I have no clue. Where is anything gonna happen?

Where are they gonna park? We do not have reliable public transportation. You remember Carmageddon have no yeah Carmageddon LA just doesn't have the doesn't have the bandwidth to hold infrastructure for it do you know how much the infrastructure is fucked already and they're gonna build a bunch of shit to fucking hold the Olympics where are they gonna hold where they gonna hold these things like already and they're going to build a bunch of shit to fucking hold the Olympics? The infrastructure is fucked already. Where are they going to hold? Where are they going to hold these things?

Like the pools at SoFi? We have Coliseums. We have SoFi. We have so many different. There are so many different spots in Los Angeles where you can hold. I know, but I'm talking about people getting around the city. Yeah, it's going to be tough. I know they're trying to build more subway lines, but it's like you have to build so many. Yeah, two weeks.

But it's gonna fuck up the city for like two months. Well, they have four years. I need to freaking board my house up, board your house up, and get the fuck out of LA, if you hear, because they coming, y'all. They coming. Everybody. They're not gonna come where you live, dude.

You're gonna be okay. They're gonna be everywhere. It's gonna be everywhere. You're gonna walk. You're gonna be in Thousand Oaks.. You're gonna be in Thousand Oaks. You're all gonna be in Thousand Oaks. And freaking be like, where the fuck did all these people come from?

How funny Snoop, by the way, he's fucking hilarious, Snoop rules. I hear he's getting paid $500,000 a day to like go around and be an ambassador for the Olympics essentially, and just show up everywhere. Oh my God, what a deal. That is the best.

He's funny though, when he said, he said there was some quote from him like, I'm excited, he was going to the dressage where the horses dance and he's like, I'm excited to see these horses and feed them some apples before they do their thing. He's crazy, I love it though. He's gonna be happy.

He's just funny, man. And you see that meme of him with his glasses down looking? That one's funny too. Alright, let's talk about sex. Ladies and gentlemen, obviously we're gonna get into sexual talk. If you happen to have your kids listening, this is not the episode, because we're gonna ask good questions. We're gonna talk about shafts and balls. We're going to talk about clitori. Is the plural for clitoris' clitori,

Joelle? That is a question for professionals. I don't know. I've never had to use the plural before. Okay. I'm not aware. Well, I bet there's people born with multiple clitori. All right, let's count us in. Five, six, seven, eight. Here's some stories about a show we made, about a bunch of dogs and nurses and a Canada who loved making acid. Here's a story that people should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our, scrubs rewatch show with Zach and Dono.

Vanessa and Dander! Vanessa and Dander! Vanessa and Dander! Hi guys. You're our favorite, I think you're my favorite guest. I'm sorry to everybody else. I think you guys are my favorite guests. All you could talk about was sex, sex, sex. Since you guys had been on, all he said to Joelle is, we really need to get them back on the show.

That was a really big episode for me. Well, because I thought, you know, people loved it. I hope you got a lot of good feedback, you two, because people stopped me on the street and they're like, I bought the anus guide. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I hope you got a lot of good feedback, you two, because people stopped me on the street, and they're like, I bought the anus guide. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Oh, Vanessa and Xander.

So you must have sold a lot of guides. We got a lot of great feedback. We really loved being on here. And I'm so glad that now we have like a custom little tone for ourselves, a custom jingle, and to be the best guest. That's pretty exciting. For those of you that didn't catch the first episode of Vanessa and Xander, Vanessa,

you are a licensed sex therapist, correct? Yes. Xander, you are not. Xander, you are not, but you know a lot. But you get to experience all of the lessons that Vanessa has learned through college and stuff. Official title is, he's just a cool dude. Yeah, cool dude.

I got a lot of cool dude credentials. I feel like Xander, you're sort of the- A lot of dudes are like, you're a fucking cool dude, dude. Xander, I feel like you're sort of the test subject. I feel like Vanessa goes out and she learns some new technique and she's like, honey, put this in your butt. And then you guys like try stuff out. Wait, yeah.

Literally yesterday we were wrapping our full bodies in plastic wrap to try out a weird tip that I'd read on the internet. Exactly what I'm implying is. So, creepy pig is definitely an accurate description. That's my point. I want to remind everybody that Vanessa has written these guides. Well, tell us about the book and the guides again, because I want to let everyone know what you have to offer them.

Yeah, thank you so much. So, we wrote the book together. It's called Sex Talks, The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. And you can get that anywhere you Yeah, thank you so much. So we wrote the book together, it's called Sex Talks, the five conversations that will transform your love life. And you can get that anywhere you get books. You can also go to sextalksbook.com and we have all the links there. We give you a free workbook with it as well. And then we in our own business, like really specialize in creating how-to guides.

Yes, which is very helpful for people. Yeah, like we all feel like we're supposed to be great at sex, but I think we talked about this last time, like where do we learn, whoever sits you down and says, okay, here's step by step exactly how to go down on a woman or how to give a guy the best blow job he's ever gotten in his entire life. Where can said guides be found again?

Yeah, yeah, Donald wants to be reminded where said guides can be found. Those can be found at vmtherapy.com. Yes. Vmtherapy.com. Vmtherapy.com. So you've got foreplay guides, intercourse guides, all sorts of stuff.

Well, and there's specifics, cause I remember last time there's specifics for like everything you need to know about the vagina, the penis and the anus, right? We cover everything. Yeah, we talk about initiation. We have sex challenges, connection challenges. We actually our newest thing is something called best week ever. A lot of people have come to us and they're like everything looks so good. I don't know where to start. And so we wanted to create a really concrete starting point for people. It's seven days, 10 minutes a day or less, but really gives you the best introduction

to everything that we do. So you can go straight to vmtherapy.com slash best if you wanna check that one out. Donald, you should get that for you and Casey. I'm sure she'd be down for seven week intensive sex course. I listened, guys. I'm gonna be honest with you. It actually covered a lot of the things

that we talked about with you guys last time, like kind of the emotional. I'm gonna be honest with you. It actually covers a lot of the things that we talked about with you guys last time, like kind of the emotional intimate. Yeah, Donald, let's have a check in. Let's have a check in. I want an update. Yeah, did you do any of the chore? You guys fucked me is what happened, all right? That's what happened, all right?

You fucked me. Wait, oh no. No, no, that's it. What do you mean wait? Wait, wait for what? I'm going right to it. No, no, wait, I have a question. I want to remind the audience that Vanessa suggested

that there was something called chore play. I don't like chore play anymore. No, no. Did chore play not work for you? Chore play doesn't work for me. I've opted on less sex. There we go. All right.

Interesting, tell me more. Fuck that shit. I don't like chore play. I don't like doing that shit. I don't like my kids. I mean, I love my kids, but I don't like hanging out with my kids. So short play. See you later. But what about what about chore play in the form of like doing the dishes and cleaning up a little and saying honey Don't worry. I got I took care of X Y or Z for you. Yeah, I do that every now and then but I don't need sex to do that That's cool. It's all right.

I've opted out of the whole scheduling chores for me. Shit, nah, fuck that. No, no, no. All right, so it hasn't improved any, your ability to get more intercourse than you were getting. You felt like you wanted, you had an appetite for more. No, you guys gave my wife a power that I am no, I don't, it's too strong.

I am, it's my kryptonite. She's like chores and I'm like, nah, I'm good. Nevermind. Oh, well you gotta do the work. You gotta do the work. I can hear my therapist saying- Oh no, I do the work, but I don't wanna do the, I don't wanna do the work.

I feel like, this is what it felt like to me. It felt like I was doing the work to have Sex and I was like, ah, it's alright when you want to have sex Distinction yeah, so the idea here is not that you earn sex by doing chores Like oh you wash like 20 dishes and you get one blowjob. Like it's not a Exchange is like, oh, you wash like 20 dishes and you get one blowjob. Like, it's not a reciprocal exchange here. That would be, that would be, that would be, I mean, unless you want to come up with like a- That would make me wash so many dishes. I would, 20 dishes is a blowjob?

No, it's not an exchange. It's not an exchange. But the idea here is that what we're really looking for, what a lot of us women are really looking for, and people of all genders, like we want a real partner in life. We want somebody who's there with us through the thick and the thin,

and who's participating in those everyday activities with us so that we feel connected to them in those ways. And so it does, again, it's not about doing the decision exchange for things, and there are plenty of couples, we have a ton of chores that we don't like doing, so we've hired them out. We have a housekeeper that comes,

but we find ways to be partnerships in other ways so that we both feel supported by each other and we want to be intimate with each other even after a long, hard day. Vanessa, is this one of the most common things that you get faced with? I wanted to ask you that right off the bat. For those of you who didn't hear the first episode,

Donald and Casey talked about a difference in their libidos and how much sex they want. And I wondered, is this a very common thing with couples for you and your practice? It's extremely common. I mean, I would even go so far to say that every couple has mismatched libidos, simply because you're two different people.

Like it would be really weird if every single time you wanted sex, your partner also wanted sex, and they wanted the exact same kind of sex in that moment. Like, that's just too strange. So we all have these natural differences. I think the big problem is that we are so afraid of that term, like, ooh, mismatched libidos. Ooh, that's so scary. Oh, it's a problem.

Ooh, are we incompatible? And we get freaked out about it instead of just recognizing, like, yeah, we're different people. We want, like, it's a problem, oh, are we incompatible? And we get freaked out about it instead of just recognizing like, yeah, we're different people, we want like, some nights I want Chinese for dinner and Xander wants Italian for dinner. Like we don't freak out about that, we just figure out, okay,

how do we negotiate these differences? It's the same thing with sex. The mastery comes in the communication, right? Because I think people are so afraid to talk about this stuff, in all aspects. I mean, we can talk about, you know, trying new things, which we'll go into, but I mean, I think even people have such insecurities around sex,

because we were told our whole lives it's so taboo that we're afraid to talk about it, right? Yeah, and I mean, imagine anything else in your life trying to do it well with zero communication. Like you guys have a business together. Could you run this business never talking about it? Like the idea is preposterous. Like, of course not, right?

Yeah, I mean, it would be like, oh, well, we are so in sync and our business, like our concept is so good that we should never have to talk about it. It just goes over well. And like, yeah, you guys have been friends for a long time. You've been working together for a long time. Why do you need to communicate?

Shouldn't you be so in sync with each other, right? It sounds ridiculous, but that's what we do with sex is, oh, it should just be perfect and amazing, but nobody should ever have to talk about it. It's crazy. That's the one thing I hate. I hate that. I hate that any type of conversation of sex has to, first of all, all right, is everybody comfortable

with talking about sex? Like, are we all good with this? I don't, you know, like, sometimes I like to talk about sex with my wife, and she doesn't necessarily like to talk about it as much as I do. And I don't like that. I don't like that it's something that's so taboo, but yet you look at other couples like yourselves,

where you guys can have the conversation all the time and it's not an issue. And I, you know. Yeah, but they're experts. I mean, you know. But well. Yeah, I mean, I mean, there's things they can teach you. Nobody's an expert, only God's an expert, bro.

We've had our own challenges with this. Like, I started this business by myself. Xander and I did not work together for many years. And we went through the exact same pattern that the vast majority of couples go through, where the beginning of the relationship, it was super hot and heavy. It felt like the chemistry was amazing. Like, we were like, okay, this is it. This is my

person. And then we get a year, two years into the relationship, we've moved in together. And all of a sudden, we're looking around thinking like, oh my God, what happened to us? Like, I don't remember the last time we had sex. The sex that we are having is pretty boring. It's not very exciting or fulfilling and pleasurable. And we ourselves, even though I was already in this field, we struggled to talk about it. The only conversations that we ended up having, the very few were really negative.

It was just complaining and criticizing. We didn't get anywhere with it. We didn't solve any problems. So we've been there ourselves, and it was us going through that experience and learning, oh, maybe the first conversations that we have about sex should not be the bad things and the complaints and the criticisms.

Like maybe we need to find a different way to creating a foundation. That's a great segue, Vanessa, because I imagine there's a lot of people listening who are like, who can relate to everything you just said. I love my partner, We have had amazing sex. We've been together a while. It's gotten a little routine.

How do you begin to have a conversation with that person that isn't gonna make them feel bad? You know, what do you recommend for people as a first step? Because I'm sure a lot of people can relate. It's not that the sex is bad, but it's a little like, oh, this is how we've always done it. It's almost like an errand now.

How does someone who's listening to this approach this with their partner in a way that won't upset the partner? So do the exact opposite of what Xander and I did. Instead of launching straight into all the criticisms and complaints, you've got to build a foundation of talking about sex in a positive or even just a neutral way. You've got to get to the point where you feel comfortable with it, comfortable talking about sex the same way we talk about, oh, what do we want to have for dinner?

What's the weather going to be like tomorrow? So what we recommend is like- How do you do that? Yeah. So we wanna start talking about positive experiences. So one of the best things you can do is talk about some of your favorite sexual experiences together. So this is not a conversation to like

achieve any sort of goal to like eventually try to solve any problems. It's literally just like, hey, you know what? Memory popped into my head just really randomly the other day, or like, you know what I had a dream about the other night? That anniversary trip that we took, we were in Mexico, we stayed at that hotel, what we did in the bathtub.

You just wanna talk about sex in a positive way. You can also use this podcast as a great way to open up a conversation. So it's like, hey, you know, my favorite podcast, I listen to it every week, they had the sex therapist and her husband on today, do you wanna listen to it with me? It was a really interesting conversation.

And then you can just like keep hitting pause and be like, oh, hey, like, what do you think about this? Or like, oh, does this ever happen in our relationship? Like little things like that where you feel a little more detached from it because it's like we're talking about it. It's not, you know, you guys having to talk about it yourselves, but yeah, just like seeing, you know,

how we talk about it and just feeling more comfortable. And that's actually what we designed like our whole Instagram account where Vanessa and Xander to do is like, we talk about other people's stories. We share statistics about our audience. So it gives you this neutral way of like, oh look, I was just looking at their story.

They say 91% of women say that intercourse isn't their favorite sexual activity. Like, isn't that crazy? So when you're talking about it in this more objective way rather than why do you never initiate? You never seem to want me anymore. You couldn't stay hard the last time we had sex. Like that's a totally different kind of conversation.

Yeah. Then people get defensive and they're not listening. It's like having a conversation about any topic. If you put someone on the defensive, they're not going to be listening in the same way. Exactly. Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these fine words. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel de Lilla. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere,

a podcast that unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. Tephany exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. [♪upbeat music playing. [♪upbeat music playing.

[♪upbeat music playing. This summer, the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president was the target of two assassination attempts separated by two months. These events were mirrored nearly 50 years ago when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life in less than three weeks. President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close to being the victim of an

assassin today. And these are the only two times we know of that a woman has tried to assassinate a US president. One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson. I always felt like Glennett was kind of his right-hand woman. The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI in a violent revolutionary underground. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer. This is Rip Current, available now with new episodes every Thursday. Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Substance use disorder and addiction is so isolating. And so as a Black woman in recovery, hope must be loud. It grows louder when you ask for help and you're vulnerable. It is the thread that lets you know that no matter what happens, you will be okay. When we learn the power of hope, recovery is possible. Find out how at StartWithHope.com. Brought to you by the National Council for Mental Well-being, Shatterproof, and the Ad Council. Hey, it's Teddy Mellencamp and Tamara Judgeatterproof, and the Ad Council. We cover it all. OC, Jersey, Beverly Hills, New York City, Dubai.

As we always say, you're only as good as last week's episode. Plus, we're talking to all your favorite Bravo celebrities and not just Housewives. We're putting your favorite people in the twat seat and getting the juicy stories everybody wants to know. So join us as we stir the pot and get ourselves into some trouble. Okay, maybe a lot of trouble. It's not really trouble when it's truthful. Let's just say we can be a little twaddy.

Listen to Two Teas and a Pod on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session, 24 hours.

EPM 110, 120, she's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this?

We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Just because you went there for a second, talk about that for a second. I remember last time you saying, this is a bit of a non sequitur, but you said some surprising figure to be about the percentage of women that can have an orgasm from penetration, what do you call that?

Yeah, it's only 10 to 15%. This is one of the big misunderstandings. There's people that listen to this that came up to me and they said that was one of the most shocking things they heard. So they're lying? So they're lying? Yeah, a lot of women are lying. Wait, wait, wait, Vanessa, 10 to 15%? Yeah, 10 to 15, penetration alone. Penetration alone. So that's so, we're not including

using your hands for assistance, because that is- No, no, no, I know, I know, I wanna get to that, but my first is like, just penetration. You're saying that the stats show 10 to 15% of women can have an orgasm that way. Yeah, did we talk about the anatomy last time? Wait, I gotta find my little model over here. Did we talk about anatomy last time?

Yeah, we talked about it. We did a little bit. But not everyone will have heard the episode, so go ahead. Oh yeah, but we're on video now. And we're on video, so I can show you my cool. Oh yeah, you can show. That looks like an avocado. Is that an avocado?

That looks like an avocado that you guys carved. Oh, I feel sad for Casey if you think that's an avocado. No, it looks, I thought it was an avocado too. Audience, if you're just listening, it is green. And the vulvas I've seen are not green, but go ahead. Our window is right in front of a bunch of trees, so it's casting a green light on it, but it's gold. It's meant to be real fancy.

Oh, it's a golden vagina. Okay. Okay, go ahead. You're going to want to watch this on video audience on YouTube because now we have visual aids. All right, go ahead. Okay, so the clitoris is this little white nub up here. I've never seen it as a white nub, but that's interesting.

And have you seen it as this full of shape? Oh my goodness. No, that's a secret. Wow. Yeah. So this is actually what the clitoris looks like. So this little tiny nub of skin that most of us think of as the clitoris is just one small part of the whole thing.

It actually splits off into these two legs. These are called crura and it sits- Is this available at your website? I wish it was, but I got this from another company. Okay, so when we're having intercourse, so the clitoris, let me back up, the clitoris is the most sensitive part of the human body, male or female, any gender, the clitoris.

Way more nerve endings than the penis. Yeah, there are eight to 10, somewhere between eight to 10,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, compare that to two to 3000 than the penis. Yeah, there are eight to 10, somewhere between eight to 10,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, compare that to two to 3000 in the penis. So it's way more sensitive. Yeah, so when you do it right, it's way better for a woman than for a man. I'm sorry, sorry guys, but yeah.

No, that's interesting. Okay, so if you look at the model- Can I pause you there? Now those legs that come down, they don't have all those endings. It's the clitoris itself. It's the entire structure, but yeah. You're getting to the heart of the matter here,

which is great. Yeah, so they're all throughout the structure, but yeah, the little nub is particularly sensitive. Little nub was a nickname. It seems like this is important. Cool nubbin. It seems like this is why width is important. Those, the legs seem pretty far apart compared to...

So when we're having intercourse, we're actually getting the vast majority of stimulation is happening in the vagina. And the vagina, compare it to those eight to 9,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, the vagina does not have very many nerve endings at all. I keep looking for a proper scientific tally

and I still have yet to find one. And if you think about it, it's like childbirth is already excruciatingly painful. We don't want to have that area of our body, like even more sensitive, even more filled with nerve endings. So we women during intercourse, we're getting stimulation of a part of our body

that just biologically is not wired to feel a lot of pleasure. So intercourse, like it can feel good. It feels very intimate. It's connecting. It's fun to try out different positions. But from a nerve ending standpoint, I like to say it's like the equivalent of playing with a man's balls. So sure, for you, that might feel fun. It might be enjoyable. It might be pleasant, but for 99.99% of men, like it's not going to be nearly enough stimulation to lead to orgasm. So intercourse for a woman is really like the equivalent of playing with a man's balls. It's just not, I need that on a t-shirt. I need that on a t-shirt. Uh, Duel,

please have that in the merch shop for us. Yeah. I need that on a t-shirt. I need that on a t-shirt. Duel, please have that in the merch shop for us. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, the reality is that, yeah. Okay, I have a question. So yeah, when you penetrate inside the vagina,

the reality is the legs of the clitoris do extend around that area, but every woman's anatomy is different. Sometimes those legs are closer to the vaginal wall. Sometimes they're further from the vaginal wall. So that's why you can, you know, you can derive some pleasure from intercourse, but that pleasure, the amount is really gonna depend

person to person. And like, you know, it's just an anatomical reality of how your body, you know, how your body is. I'm just shocked that it's- And so that's, yeah. So, so with is, with is not, it doesn't, I mean, it seems like where the walls are. Yeah, girth can create a little bit more pressure,

or yeah, a little more like stimulation, but it's also like, think about when you have a knot in your back, you want your partner to like get their thumbs skin to skin, right? Versus think about like you wearing a wool sweater and a down jacket and a parka and asking somebody to massage you.

It's like, like it's- There's that much separation? It's hard to like work through. When I was a kid, I dry humped in my jacket and I remember dry humping in my jacket and my pants and my boots and dry and being like, there's nothing going, there's nothing. There you go. Great as shambles.

Joelle's face is killing me. All we did, we were kissing and then we were like, you know, we were going, we were gonna go outside, but then we decided to kiss and everything and we were like dry humping, but we were dry humping with our jackets and boots and pants on. Yeah, but when you were young,

it still felt fun to be rolling around dry humping. Well, yeah, it was pretty fun. Yeah, the excitement was there, but that was not like, it was literally like, and now to find out that I'm even further away. Right, well, what you're saying, Vanessa, what you're saying, it seems to me, is it depends on each

individual woman's biology of how thick the wall is from the legs of the clitoris. Do I get that right? Yeah. Yeah. But again, it's like, let's imagine there could be different anatomy for men. Like maybe, oh, my balls are like closer to the shaft. And so when you're playing with the balls, like you sort of can get the shaft. But it's like the bottom line is no, if we want to get a guy to orgasm, we're

going to focus on the penis. Like that just makes the most sense. You're not like, Oh, maybe your balls are like kind of close enough that I can get, you know, so we need to do the same with women. We need to give the clip the same respect. Right. So last time you were on, you said, ABC, right? Always be touching the clit.

Always be touching the clit. There's a couple of missing letters, but always be clit. Yeah, always be close. T.T. ABC, always be clit. So what do you mean is that, obviously goes without saying, this, that, you know, and obviously goes without saying, this isn't for every person, but a good,

a good direction to head is that to find a way to be stimulating the clitoris, even whilst you're having intercourse. Yeah, that's great. And then after, stay away from it. Yeah, it can get real sensitive afterwards. Stay away. Right, but Vanessa-

Once orgasm happens, don't touch the clitoris anymore. But wait, answer my question first, Vanessa, what I was saying. Yeah, yeah, that is a great strategy to use and also making sure you're using your hands and your mouth before intercourse as well. I think we talked last time about, intercourse doesn't have to be the main event.

Or like the last event. Or the last event, you know, we wanna give just as much attention to using hands and mouse too. Right, right. And then, and really this gets back to even the like, the conversations about sex is that every, you know, every woman has a different, you know,

slightly different anatomy. Every woman is gonna have different preferences in terms of what type of clitoral stimulation she likes, whether it's more direct stimulation, more indirect stimulation, really light, more vigorous. And so- Vigorous. And so the reality is it's so important to be- Donald likes it vigorous.

Vigorous, move with vigorous. But yeah, it's so important to be able to have those conversations, you know, when you're first starting to have sex with someone of, hey, what type of simulation do you like? Do you like it when, you know, I touch your clit while we're having sex? You know, do you, you know,

would you prefer to be touching it so that you're more in control? Like what type, you know, do you want me to be more vigorous? Do you want me to be more gentle, more indirect? I get that the sooner the better for this, but also you don't wanna do it like the first time you're having sex.

I mean, I wouldn't, I think- Well, I mean, why not? Well, I mean, I don't know, you guys tell me, but it's like, it feels like- Maybe not like as many questions, but yeah, I think like starting from the beginning. I just feel like you should maybe have- If you guys are planning it, why not?

If you're like, we're gonna do it tonight. All right, well, let me tell me what you like. No, that's not how it happens in my experience. The first time you have sex, it kind of happens and it's exciting and it's new, and you're both kind of obviously turned on by it. I'm guessing that the first time through isn't the most ideal time to ask all these questions.

Maybe the second time, or tell me I'm wrong, I don't know. I think the couple should get used to communicating with each other right from the beginning. And so I wouldn't pepper somebody with questions of like, okay, please write me your manifesto of what you would like me to do to you tonight. How vigorous do you like it? But like Donald's saying, you can make it,

you can on a scale of one to 10, how vigorous do you want it? You can make it feel sexy, like I'm so excited to see you later tonight, like tell me what you want me to do to you. And then in the moment, I'll give you a really simple, easy way to do this. Like you could try- I'm taking notes, hold on, let me get my pen

and my whiteboard. This works great for couples at any stage of a relationship, but you can try two different techniques and say, do you like it better when I do this to you or when I do this to you? Oh, right. So you're not like putting them on the spot of like, tell me how to touch your clitoris. You're doing it in the moment and you're incorporating that communication into the

actual activity and that feels super hot if someone like, you know, asking you. Right, that's a way to do it in sort of a sexy way that isn't clinical. Like you like, oh yeah. It's kind of like the optometrist, this or this. That's exactly what I call it. Yeah, the eye exam technique.

Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna try the eye exam technique. When you're picking from like between one or two options, that's a lot easier. I think one of the big mistakes that men make in the bedroom is they ask women. Go on, hold on, my pen is out. Yeah, I'm gonna take notes.

Men ask women, what do you want? And a lot of us women totally freeze up for so many reasons. First, it's a big question. How do I even start to answer that? I feel like I have to write you the 20 page manifesto of exactly what I want. And then two, a lot of us women have never explored our own bodies.

So many women have never had an orgasm, they've never masturbated. And so it's like, well, what am I supposed to tell you if I don't know? And then three, like, we also have been so socialized to be caretakers, caregivers, like put other people's needs and feelings above our own. So like, I don't wanna tell you something different from what you're doing that maybe it'll hurt your feelings. So we never recommend asking that question. It's just too big instead, like breaking it down into like,

yeah, do you like this or do you like this better? That's so much more useful. Yeah, and then on the far other extreme side, the other mistake that men make is assuming, oh, okay, I've had sex with a lot of people and I think I know the best way to like give her an orgasm. Like I know the one way. And the reality is like we were talking about with anatomy, every anatomy is different.

There's such a wide range, probably a wider range of preferences for women when it comes to how they like their clitoral stimulation. And so your way that you think worked for like the last X number of people that you had sex with, like that is most likely not going to work for this. Especially given that 77% of women say that they've faked an orgasm. So definitely your moves are not nearly as good

as you think they are. After this conversation, I say more than that. Zach, I love you. Next. Zach, I love you. Sorry, sorry guys. It was a brief break. Someone's trying to get into the conversation.

Zach, I love you. Bad timing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 70% of women- 77. 77 to the favor. I actually agree with Donald.

I think it's higher than that. I think it's higher. Hell yeah. 70% of women, 77. I actually agree with Donald. I think it's higher than that. I think it's higher. Hell yeah. And is that just because they want it to be beautiful? I think a lot of the statistics that women are given, you guys are given a nice pass

and you don't get the full statistic. You know what I mean? That's what I mean? That's what I'm learning. I think it's way higher than that. I think the cheating factor is way higher than people think. I think a lot of it is because of the lack of chore play that goes on. Right.

No, but I'm dead serious. I think it turns, that turns people into, when the conversation doesn't happen that you guys are talking about, and when the, and when the, uh, and when actions aren't taken after a conversation is had, I think it leads to, you know, outer marital stuff. And, and, and then you're in a whole whirlwind. So I think it's really important to have these conversations. Even if you've never had them before, I think you should have them.

Or, you know, your marriage, this is for married people, or your marriage isn't necessarily gonna thrive. Is the faking an orgasm about like, I don't want you to, A, I want it to be over, I'm over it, and I don't, and you just said, yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, that's the most common reason given,

but it's also like, I don't wanna hurt my partner's feelings. I know I'm not going to, maybe I've never had one, so it just feels like the easier thing to do. Yeah, but definitely the most common one is just want it to be over. Demand? I think there's also that. Sorry, there's also just kind of like,

almost like faking by omission as well. I think Donald was getting at, it feels like that number could even be higher. There's obviously, there's sort of the faking, putting on an act, pretending that it is happening. But then I think there's also just the kind of fake faking where like you're not really, you're not putting on an act but you're not really like showing that anything

is happening one way or the other. And then afterwards, you know, there's the classic like, oh, was it good for you? And she's just like, oh yeah, like, yeah, that was great. And you know, I know I've been guilty of that so often, like early on in my sex life, like I didn't know how to ask the women that I was with, like what they liked, how things really were.

I had no idea if I was actually like giving them an orgasm or not. And I would just kind of like go for a while. I was like, oh, seems like they're enjoying it. Right. That must've been good. I think the optometrist- Okay, yeah, I did a good job. I think the optometrist thing is a really good idea

because it takes the pressure off and it feels sexy. It feels like a way to be almost playing a titillating game in a way. Yeah, exactly. That's the exact kind of techniques that we aim for, like things that feel fun and lighthearted, they don't feel so serious, but they're still very very effective in the moment. Let's take a break, we'll be right back after these fine words.

Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel de Lilla. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.

And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This summer, the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president was the target of two assassination attempts, separated by two months. These events were mirrored nearly 50 years ago, when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life in less than three weeks. President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close to being the victim of an assassin today. And these are the only two times we know of that a woman has tried to assassinate a U.S.

president. One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson. I always felt like the one that was kind of his right-hand woman. The other a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI in a violent revolutionary underground. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer. This is Rip Current, available now

with new episodes every Thursday. Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Substance use disorder and addiction is so isolating. And so as a black woman in recovery, hope must be loud. It grows louder when you ask for help and you're vulnerable. It is the thread that lets you know that no matter what happens, you will be okay. When we learn the power of hope, recovery is possible. Find out how at StartWithHope.com.

Brought to you by the National Council for Mental Well-being, Shatterproof, and the Ad Council. Hey, it's Teddy Mellencamp. And Tamara Judge, better known as the Twats. Yep, you heard that right. We're the hosts of Two Teeth in a Pod. For all the Housewife lovers out there, every week we break down every episode and give you our opinions. We cover it all. OC, Jersey, Beverly Hills, New York City, Dubai. As we always say, you're only as good as last week's episode.

Plus, we're talking to all your favorite bravalebrities and not just housewives. We're putting your favorite people in the twat seat and getting the juicy stories everybody wants to know. So join us as we stir the pot and get ourselves into some trouble. Okay, maybe a lot of trouble. It's not really trouble when it's truthful.

Let's just say we can be a little twaddy. Listen to Two Teas and a Pod on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project.

All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session. 24 hours. BPM 110, 120. She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that?

You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams.

Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's talk about threesomes. I've been waiting for this conversation. Because I feel like it's a common fantasy, I could be wrong, of couples to have this like, oh, wouldn't that be crazy if we did that one day?

Not all couples, of course, it goes without saying. It's one of the top three sexual fantasies, it's very common. Okay, so, but I feel like it's very hard for people, even if it's a fantasy to ever make it- Admit to it. No, I wasn't gonna say admit to it. I was gonna say to make it happen

because even if they turn each other on by talking about it or they daydream about it or it's a one day thing, people, you know, it's kind of hard to execute, right? Because how do you choose who that person's gonna be? Can you speak to that a bit? Like, let's say someone's listening to this, they're a couple, it's always been on their fantasy

bucket list, but they don't even know, they probably shouldn't be a friend, it shouldn't be, maybe they don't wanna, what do people do who wanna try that? Yeah, it is really difficult. It's such a common fantasy, but very difficult to execute because of having to find somebody. So you have to find someone that not only both of you are attracted to and feels like

a safe person to have it with, but also that person has to be attracted to both of you as well. And everybody has to be on board about wanting to do the same activities and have certain things be on the table or off the table. So it's a pretty high barrier to entry. I think these days your best option is like an app, trying to find somebody through an app, just like really put it out there.

A lot of people just hope for that, like that magical night that things just all come together and it happens, but that's just super rare. But I would say for the vast majority of couples, it's important to recognize that we can fantasize about something without necessarily needing or wanting to do it in real life. So a lot of couples can get a lot of enjoyment

just talking dirty about a threesome, like, ooh, what would it be like? What would you wanna do? What would it feel like for you to watch me be with this person? You know, you can talk dirty about it, role play with it a little bit, and like that might be enough for a lot of couples.

Yeah, I was about to say that's- Yeah, sorry, Zander, go ahead. I was just saying, I think where it can start to get tricky is when you're transitioning from that fantasizing about the idea of it into the practicalities. Cause then you start thinking about, okay, so like if we actually do this, assuming we do find the right person then,

all right, like what activities are on and off the table for each of us? What do we do in the moment if one of us starts feeling uncomfortable or like- We're jealous. That inherent moment where you notice that the other two people are more involved with each other and you're kind of sitting there-

And you're in the corner like this. Yeah. Like, oh. This is supposed to be a threesome, guys. I know. involved with each other and you're kind of sitting there. And you're in the corner like this. Yeah. Like, oh. This is supposed to be a threesome, guys. Checking your Instagram. Yeah, so then, you know, you start, once you start getting through to a lot

of those logistical things, it can start to feel like, huh, all right, this doesn't actually feel as exciting to me anymore now that I'm getting into the realities of it I'm not saying that's a reason to not have it like many people are gonna be like, okay, cool. Yeah Let's let's talk about those logistical things like let's go like I'm good with that But I do think that that's where a lot of people drop off from like being excited about the fantasy To then actually doing it in real life because it for a lot of people just starts feeling like more trouble than it's worth

Well, and also it can get you into trouble. I mean, you may have, like all the things you just said, you both might be into it and you're excited. And then when it actually happens, there's jealousy involved. There's like, you know, I thought we agreed you weren't going to do that, but it seemed like you were doing that. It can be very complicated, it seems.

Also, once the dopamine hits and is gone and you don't necessarily feel the same way anymore, it's like, I don't necessarily feel like that was what I wanted to do. It was fun, but I think that's the most common thing. It's like, for me, I should say. Once, I think that's just for everybody. Once you nut, everybody's like, all right, that was fun.

Want a sandwich? Yeah. Should we call you an Uber? You said that's one of the top three fantasies, Vanessa. What are some of the others that couples are excited about and maybe one that's more actionable than inviting a third person into the room? So the top three other ones there are group sex.

They kind of differentiate group sex from threesomes and also like kinky sex, a little bit of bondage. Bondage. Group sex is different from threesome? Well, she's saying like an orgy. In the research that I've seen, they categorize it differently. Yeah, more like orgy.

But another top one that I found so fascinating, like one of the most common fantasies for both men and women is just romantic sex. And I thought that was actually really sweet that a lot of people fantasize about just having this like very passionate, emotional, like romance with each other. So that's when it's very actionable.

You can tell me that. Those are the married people. Yeah, like Fabio. Just dressed up like Fabio and. Listen, that sounds like a married couple with children because sex is, you try to have sex as, when you do try to have sex, it's like, all right, the kids aren't around,

let's try to get this going right now. But what you're really wanting is that, oh, I want to make love to you, darling. I want to kiss you and caress you. Or have it be like it was back in the beginning when you were really putting on your best show. So I think that, yeah on your best show. Mm-hmm. So I think that-

Best in show. I like reminding people, like, you know, a fantasy doesn't need to be something wildly elaborate or super kinky. Like it's totally okay to fantasize about just having some passion and romance with your partner. So if you want to bring back some of that energy,

maybe it's like recreating your first date or just like having a nice date with each other where you get dressed up, you like look really nice, put on something you haven't worn for a while and just have that like quality time together. Do you guys have your own podcast? We do. We do. It's called Pillow Talks. It comes out every Thursday.

Pillow Talk, everybody. Check out Pillow Talk and remind people where they can get the guides on all the things. They're at VMtherapy.com, and if you want that one, the best starting point, the seven week challenge. Seven day. Seven day, sorry, not seven week. It's VMtherapy.com slash best. Okay, and I assume you also do one-on-one private, right? I don't anymore, actually. Once we started building out the online guides and courses,

they were so popular with people that we decided to really go in that direction. It just makes it a lot more accessible. Now, in your business, I imagine you get a lot of creepers, too, that reach out to you guys and stuff like that, where it's like, please fuck off, guys. I used to when it was just me, but since Xander joined the business years ago,

they're actually minimal creepers, but I'm going to knock on wood, please don't creep us. Yeah, but I should say for couples that are intrigued by this and maybe having a session, there are people that will get on Zoom with you and you can hire them to give you and your partner some coaching, right? Yeah, yeah, if you want to do that for sure. Okay, vibrators.

Wait a second. Wait. What? Coaching like at you're watching them and you're like, no, Timmy, lift the ass a little higher. Well, I don't know, I'm sure that exists, but that wasn't what I meant. Okay.

That exists, it's not what I would recommend. Joelle, what did I say that was so wrong? You say anything wrong, the situation just gave me like horrifying anxiety. Like what? From the Zoom window? Just go like that. I'm sure you can, I'm sure, listen, you can find anything. I'm sure you can find someone to be like, no,

arch her back, arch her back. No. No. No. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks.

Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. But I wouldn't want that. Vibrators, and I don't mean dildos, but vibrators, even small ones, they can be of assistance for clitoral stimuli, right?

And penis. And penis and balls and anus and all of that, right? We haven't spoken about that because you were talking about, I didn't mean to do that, sorry. We were talking about making sure to always be closing, always be touching the clip. Always be clit. Always be clit. What about, what are your thoughts on small vibrators to help with that? Vibrators can be really great.

I mean, there are some amazing toys these days. I always say with vibrators, you really get what you pay for. So you wanna look for high quality materials, body safe materials like medical grade, silicone, that kind of stuff. So be careful with the toys that you're buying. But in general, yeah, they can be great.

There are a lot of great toys that couples can use together that can like flip between your bodies. Wonderful for like, long distance couples. There are some that have Bluetooth that you can program and like, use, you know, across distances. Yeah, so the big question that always comes up with vibrators is can you get addicted to them? And the answer to that is no, you can get addicted to a vibrator.

But I do encourage people to be thoughtful about how they want to have their orgasms. Because basically, the way that you masturbate can start to create neural pathways in our brain that just make it easier to continue orgasming in the same way versus being able to do it in a variety of ways. So this is for any kind of masturbation. If you're always using a toy, if you're always using the same technique,

if you're always watching porn, if you're always thinking about the same fantasy in your mind, like you just kind of carve these pathways in your brain. And so with a vibrator in particular, like one of the great things about vibrators is how easy they can make it to orgasm. But also because of that, sometimes some of us turn into lazy masturbators where it's like we just like put the toy there kind of wait around for it to do its thing and so you can just get like

Used to the reality that orgasms with a vibrator are very quick and you don't have to do much There's not much effort involved So if you want to have orgasms in other ways like if you have your partner touching you you might start to notice like Ooh, it's just not feeling as good. It's not as fast. So if you are happy having all your orgasms of vibrators, go with it. If you want to have a variety of orgasms, make sure you kind of mix it up. Don't use a vibrator more than about half the time. Xander, and for men, what do you, other than your hand, is there something that, is there a toy that men can go out and get that?

A TheraGun? Yeah. Just beat yourself up with that TheraGun. Yeah. I mean, I know we were talking about Vigor. You know, if you like, if you like vigorous stimulation, I would absolutely recommend the TheraGun. We gotta absolutely recommend the Theragun. We gotta get sponsored by Theragun.

Yeah, no, there are plenty of options out there for men. I mean, there are more like male focused, like couple type of toys. Like there are various cock rings that can vibrate or not vibrate. Yeah, you know, in the inlet, and I think it was in the vibrate. Yeah, you know, in the inlet, and I think it was in the UK or somewhere overseas, you know, in the men's bathrooms,

they used to sell like, you know, next to coms. Oh yeah, the little tiny vibrating. It would be a cock ring with a little vibrating top on it. I couldn't believe it was for sale in the bathrooms, but I didn't buy one, but I always was curious. You didn't. You didn't. I didn't, I mean but I always was curious. You didn't.

You didn't. I didn't. I mean, I was curious to see what it would like, but I can be honest in saying I've never done the experiment. What else is there, Xander? Yeah, I mean, there's all kinds of like male masturbator devices, like sleeves and whatnot.

But do those things work? I feel like those things are like, you know. They do. We've heard some, yeah, some rave reviews. Yeah, of course they're not particularly. Donald wants to write down which one. Which one? I don't mean for men alone.

I'm talking about things that men can do with their partner. I'm not talking about like, you know. Yeah, it's mostly gonna be cock rings that have like a little vibration attachment for her. Yeah, cause you need to have the penis free for actual use with the partner. And there's nothing you can do to make it bigger, right? You asked this last time.

I mean, not safely and not reliably. When you say not safely, what is the risk? When you say not safely. I mean, you can find a sketchy doctor to do some injections, like, you know, if you want to. Do you have a number? Do you have a number? Yeah.

Three one oh. I will say, like, women truly, like, really and truly do not care about penis size nearly as much as men. I know, Donald, you need to get over that. Do they care about penis girth? Girth? I will say girth is more important than length, but we hear from more women. Also, wait a know, Donald, you need to get over that. Do they care about penis girth? Girth? I will say girth is more important than length, but we hear from more women.

Also, wait a second, Vanessa, you said they don't really care. No. But girth is more important than length. But still, they care about it a lot less. We actually hear from far more women saying, my partner's penis is too long or too girthy, and it causes me pain and discomfort.

Where, and we hear from far fewer women saying, like, my partner's penis is too small, I'm like not feeling enough stimulation. Zach, I love you. Totally, yeah. It's really not nearly as big of an issue as most people think it is. All right, Joelle's giving us

that we have to wrap it up with you guys. You're such great guests, you're so informative. I could talk to you guys all day. I know, I could talk to you all day too. Aw, I wish we could. I really could, man. I could honestly talk to you guys all day. I know I could talk to you all day too. I really could man. I could honestly talk to you guys all day. We have so many questions but and our audience loves having you on so thank you so much. My wife does appreciate the fact that I have backed off quite a bit and I kind of and we have had

conversations about quality being better than quantity. And so I really do. There's a lot to thank you for. I was joking when I said you guys fucked me. The amount of sex has dropped off, but also I've gotten a little bit more mature in my thought pattern and where and how we're supposed to. Well, listen, the most basic thing

in all aspects of relationships is communication. And it sounds like even though you might not be getting as much sex as you want, it sounds like your communication improved. At top level. There you go. Oh, so glad to hear that. Yeah, maybe we can come back and do another session with you guys, because that was so fun when she came in.

Yeah. That would be awesome. Yeah. All right. Thank you guys. But I don't know if she's going to come back in again. Especially if you're not doing chore play. Yeah, if I'm not doing it, she's going back to chore play.

The chore play, it didn't work. Let's come to the news. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017 was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel de Lilla. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unearths the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. Tephany exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into

a mafia state. And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This summer, the nation watched as the Republican nominee for president was the target of two assassination attempts, separated by two months. These events were mirrored nearly 50 years ago when President Gerald Ford faced two attempts on his life in less than three weeks.

President Gerald R. Ford came stunningly close to being the victim of an assassin today. And these are the only two times we know of that a woman has tried to assassinate a U.S. president. One was the protege of infamous cult leader Charles Manson. I always felt like Glenn Nett was kind of his right-hand woman. The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI

in a violent revolutionary underground. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer. This is Rip Current, available now with new episodes every Thursday. Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Substance use disorder and addiction is so isolating. And so as a black woman in recovery, hope must be loud.

It grows louder when you ask for help and you're vulnerable. It is the thread that lets you know that no matter what happens, you will be okay. When we learn the power of hope, recovery is possible. Find out how at startwithhope.com. Brought to you by the National Council for Mental Well-being, Shatterproof, and the Ad Council. Hey, it's Teddy Mellencamp.

And Tamara Judge, better known as the Twats. Yep, you heard that right. We're the hosts of Two Teeth in a Pod. For all the Housewife lovers out there, every week we break down every episode and give you our opinions. We cover it all. OC, Jersey, Beverly Hills, New York City, Dubai.

As we always say, you're only as good as last week's episode. Plus, we're talking to all your favorite Bravo Lebrities and not just Housewives. We're putting your favorite people in the twat seat and getting the juicy stories everybody wants to know. So join us as we stir the pot and get ourselves into some trouble. Okay, maybe a lot of trouble.

It's not really trouble when it's truthful. Let's just say we can be a little twatty. Listen to Two Teas and a Pod on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you.

Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session. 24 hours. BPM 110, 120. She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not.

What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing.

They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What great guests. I could have asked them so many more questions, Don. I could have gone on. I had a lot of other topics.

And on, and on, and on. We could pretend that you're the expert and I just ask you my questions. No, because Joelle's not gonna like my answers. Yeah, Joelle won't like your answers at all, I can tell. Joelle was like, every time I said something, Joelle was like, Donald, you're getting really close to that line.

Not every time. You're getting really close to that line. You cannot time. You're getting really close to that line. You cannot hit a line with those folks. They'll answer anything you want. I feel like that's the point. Their point is finding that line. I know, I think their whole thing, if I get anything from them, it's like,

just don't, just be uncensored with your partner. Obviously, of course, be respectful and be tactful and think of the right time for the conversation. But over and over again, what I seem to get from them is like you have to be brave and have these conversations. Read the room too, read the room. There's a way to do it and the way isn't listen. And don't come from a negative side of things.

Even though you might feel like, you know, that's the way to go. The proper way is to be complimentary and find other ways. It's almost like a, it's almost a game, but you know, sex is a game. I'm gonna try that eye exam thing when I'm with you next. I'm gonna like gently- What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna grab your left cheek. I'm gonna be like this, and then I'm gonna grab your right cheek, and I'm like, or this. And what are you gonna do after that? And then if you be like this, and then I'm gonna grab your right cheek, and I'm like, or this. And what are you gonna do after that? And then if you're like both, I'm gonna check your temperature through your butt. If we were a couple, you and I would have no problem communicating about sex. Right, but I feel like your libido is way more than mine.

I would not want to bang as much as you do. You'd be getting banged a lot. I know, I wouldn't want it. We'd have to call some of our friends over and be like no amount of chore play You could we have to call over our friends and be like listen We're having a white party There's no there's no amount of chore play you could do that would make me want to bang as often as you'd want to bang Yeah, my anus would be like nope

Yeah. My anus would be like, nope, pucker up. Jesus. Word. I would make your anus pucker is what you're saying. Like I just like like imagine I just ate a lemon like this. Yeah. My anus would my anus. We are. I like the old said sound like Red Fox, too. I have a gasp. I like when you all of a sudden sound like Red Fox too. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, Oh my God. My word, they're going to eat that one up. Oh my God.

Y'all. I'm keeping this part of the show. Here's some stories about a show we made. About a bunch of doctors and nurses and a Canada who love and hate. I said here's the stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our, scrubs. We watch your whizz at and I know. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated. Crooks everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one woman WikiLeaks.

She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a Mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Kay hasn't heard from her sister in seven years. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. What was that? That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. Can Kay trust her sister? Or is history repeating itself?

There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising

Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. In California during the summer of 1975, within the span of 17 days and less than 90 miles,

two women did something no other woman had done before, tried to assassinate the president of the United States. One was the protege of Charles Manson, 26 year old Lynette Fromm, nicknamed Squeaky. The other a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI, identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer this season on the new podcast, Rip Current. Hear episodes of Rip Current early and completely ad free and receive exclusive bonus content by subscribing to iHeart True Crime Plus

only on Apple podcasts. Captain's Log, start date 2024. We're floating somewhere in the cosmos, but we've lost our map. Yeah, because you refused to ask for directions. It's space jam, there are no roads. Good point. So where are we headed?

Into the unknown, of course. Join us on In Our Own World as we uncover hidden truths, navigate the depths of culture, identity, and the human spirit. With a hint of mischief, one episode at a time. Buckle up and listen to In Our Own World on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust us, it's out of this world.