Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - AMY SCHUMER Faced Death with Electric Eels

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

Amy Schumer graces us from her shed to tell us about a memorable cruise, trying to hold another woman's baby, and those pesky electric eel traps.Hosted by Seth & Josh Meyers. Theme song written & performed by Jeff Tweedy. Produced by Rabbit Grin Productions

Hi, Pashi. Hey, how are you? I'm good. You know, we put out trailers for these episodes, and that's the only visual representation of the podcast that people are seeing. Yeah. And someone said something very hurtful to me.

Oh, no. They said my headphones were so big, I looked like a luggage handler. I wear, I believe, the identical headphones to you. I think, yeah, I think it's something about my head makes it look, I don't know. They do, they are, even now I'm looking at you, I think because mine are gray. And by the way, these are headphones that podcast experts have told me to wear. I wasn't out looking for the biggest pair of headphones.

I think I got the all blacks. And yeah, the gray is not doing you any favors. You do sort of, you look like you work on a ship in like star Wars. You're like, you're not flying the ship, but they're like, Hey,

is everything good here? And you're like, yep, you got it. You're right. It's not a cool, it's not a costume kids want to wear for Halloween. I want the guy who helped land the ships

i'm definitely wearing a jumpsuit i feel like that goes without saying yeah another thing not to keep drilling down on the way i currently look on a non-visual medium but you can attest the fact that i'm you know i'm growing a beard not a beard. It's more like I'm not currently seeing the team of people that shave my face. But it's gray, right? You can see some gray. Yes, yes. And my wife, Alexi, you know her well. She said, you really can see the gray right now.

And I said, I think it's because I'm so tan. The gray is popping. and then she said i think you're just older yeah no i i think she's right i think if you're looking for that i do feel like she should have left some space there for it maybe just to be that i'm tan i didn't you know we didn't really have to immediately go to the passage of time. Yeah, but I think looking for that sort of contrast explanation on your part was wishful thinking. Do you think maybe my eyes are getting bluer? It might be hard for you to tell right now because your eyes are probably being drawn to the giant headphones. Yeah, well, my eyes are also getting worse.

I wear glasses. You still are refusing to wear glasses and i don't know how that's possible it's true yeah other people have mentioned and again we're this is episode four so it's very exciting to be we're now living in a time where people have been able to listen to our podcast and i am happy to get some feedback oh yeah same someone said love the podcast if there's one issue and this is an issue we knew coming in. You guys sound a little bit alike. Yeah, but does it matter

if you don't know who said something? Are people keeping score out there? Yeah, guys, just be in a world where either one, two, or three people are talking at any given time. I thought of maybe a solution. You did Pee Wee Herman'sway show yeah you were both on stage

as a fireman and you also did some voices of some of the peewee's playhouse characters i did yeah which did you do clocky was that right yeah i did conky clocky randy there was a sham wow the fish one of the flowers um i've done terry occasionally don't do the voice do you have a favorite voice um don't do it just tell me which one yeah i don't know if i have a favorite but i mean clocky because he's so just like simple and sweet. Okay, so guys, this would be the podcast if Josh sounded like clocky and not like me. Hey, everybody, I'm Seth.

Hey, I'm Josh. See, you don't want that. You guys don't want that. No, I'm very excited about our guest today. Oh, me too. Amy Schumer. We both have been lucky enough to be friends with her for a very long time here's a fun fact she's married to chris fisher who was

the chef at my wedding yeah small that's a fun fact right i feel like i can get away with saying that i well it's true so yeah but did you think it was also it's true but did you think it was also fun? Yeah. I mean, it depends on how you define fun. Certainly, based on your reactions. More fun than, oh boy. It wasn't like going down a slide when you're three. I'll tell you this, if I told Clocky, if I told, hey, Clocky, did you think that was a fun fact?

Yeah, pretty good. All right. So Amy Schumer, she is the best. She's so authentic. She's so genuine. She has a great new special on Netflix called Emergency Contact. And you ready to talk to her? Yeah, love it.

All right, well, in that case, it's time for Family Trips with the Myers Brothers. And if you need a third source to prove that to you, here's Jeff Tweedy. Family trips with the Myers brothers. Family trips with the Myers brothers. Here we go. Yeah. Oh, hi. Look at you. You are very, just want our listeners to know how wood paneled your podcast room is. They can't imagine.

They can't imagine how wood panelpaneled I am right now. You are tie-dyed and wood-paneled. This could be, other than the fact that the technology didn't exist, this could be a podcast from the 70s. I am Dahmer. Are you the new Dahmer? I'm the new Dahmer. Well, I have to tell you, I'm in a shed.

I don't know if you've seen this shed at our house, but it's a shed. Chris is slowly moving in here. Oh, that's nice. But I, I'm in a shed. I don't know if you've seen this shed at our house, but it's a shed. Chris is slowly moving in here. Oh, that's nice. But I'm very much in a shed. Yeah. Is Chris, your husband, moving in there in his own accord? Or are you gently pushing him towards the shed? No, he it's of his own is his own accord.

You know, like every year I find more out about him, like and he'll be like, oh, yeah, like that year I lived in a shed. And I'm like, what? You know, like just sort of a little alarming facts, you know, like, oh, OK, no plumbing or no, you know, and it's like, OK. And I think that's probably where he was his most happy. And so he's actually sort of slowly moving into this shed. And so he's actually sort of slowly moving into this shed. It's like the opposite of finding out your spouse took an exciting gap year to Spain. Did I tell you about my shed year? Yeah, yeah, no, it's like, it's bad.

And he like, and I'll see a picture of like the shed and there's like a guitar. And I'm like, you played guitar? And he's like, you played guitar. And he's like a little bit like, so I'm like, so you would bring like a woman back to your shed. And he said, yeah, that he had brought women back to his shed and played guitar for them. And I was like really horrified. And I'm sorry. And you are the new Dahmer.

You want to stick with that? Well, I'm in Chris's Dahmer shed to do this. Some people have a man cave and some people have a dommer shed. You look like you're in a coffin. I do look like I'm in a coffin. You look buried alive. It's an alcove. What do you call it?

I don't know. Josh, it looks normal. Josh's background looks normal. Josh is the only one that looks normal. Yeah. I'm in an apartment. You look like you're on a set of a normal show. Yeah.

Yeah. This is a break between sitcom tapings. We're going to ask you about family vacations when you're a kid, but you have a new special. It's very funny called Emergency Contact that's available to watch on Netflix. And it was exciting for me because I had seen you do it a few times before I watched it, including one time I saw you do it in a barn. Yes. You saw me do it in two.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. In a barn and also sort of at another kind of barn with a cat on stage. Oh, you're right. Yeah. A community center and a barn. And then I did see you do it in a proper theater. That's right. Yeah. We performed together you were nice enough to let me open for you when you were um when you were on the road in

Boston and like you know get and I was starting to get this act ready and and I never did but now it's on Netflix I should say that this was you and I were hanging out in the summer and you were saying I really want to start getting back on stage again. And I said, yeah, I'm doing a show in Boston tonight. And you just said, I'm going to open for you. Oh, really? But it was really fun because we traveled to Boston together, which was a blast. And then the real blast is introducing an opener and having the opener be you.

That is genuinely the most excited, I think, in audience. They kind of, I paid for it a little bit because I do think that when I walked off, people were like, oh, right, right, right, right, right. No. I guess he's the, no, but it was really, it was exciting and fun. You had a beautiful audience and they were more excited to see you.

It was so fun. But yeah, but it's out on Netflix now. Do you feel great relief when something you've spent so much time fine tuning is now finally out in the world? No, not really. Do you? I don't think so. I do either. I don't know.

As I asked it, I was like, I mean, I've only had the one. So I don't know if I felt really. I felt relief the day after I taped it. yeah it's like the greatest day of just relief well I've been nervous that Hilaria Baldwin is gonna be upset with me um and Alec Baldwin so I just sort of have been waiting for this special to come out like you know because I talk about their marriage a little bit and poke fun. And so, yeah, so I've been a little bit like cautious about that. And no, no, no report yet? No, like sort of not really.

You know, tabloids are trying to, you know. Stir it up. Yeah. And but I think it's like just we're kind of riding it out and it's going to go quietly away. Knock on wood. When you're waiting for something to maybe hit like that, hanging out in a shed, hiding out in a shed, it's a pretty good place to be. I definitely left Brooklyn and was like, all right, bye. You know, nobody can, you know, I did run to safety.

I am weak. I will say the reason you talk about them is to prove a point. And I don't want to give it away because it is a very resounding point. But it's like I hope I leave it in a sweet place where I'm saying something sweet about their marriage. But yes, you know, it is. They are sort of an extreme example of something that you argue should be true of all married couples. That I think is true of all married couples. That is true, yes.

You know, married couples who stay together. Right. Yeah. Josh, have you gotten married yet? I have not. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I'm so glad you brought that up because I do feel like it's probably a hands-off topic on the podcast, but I feel like I'm allowed to talk about it if the guest brings it up. Yeah, I brought it up.

And Josh, how old are you? You're 20 what? 20, 47. 47. Oh, okay. Wait until you're ready to get married, honestly. Yeah, take your time. And again, wait until you find the right person.

How long have you been dating your girlfriend? Our anniversary is in a couple weeks, and it will be 10 years. Okay, cool. So, no, it's fine. You and Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell live how you want, and we'll all do the other thing that everybody else does. Yeah. Yeah, well.

You just have a grand old time just going through life with the most loving Instagram posts. Yeah. They seem, I guess that's the thing, is at least my wife can't say, why can't we be happy and married like your brother and his girlfriend? Because then I get to point out, well, I think the big part here might be that they're just not.

Right. They left out that part. That's the thing. We're happy. We'll see what happens. I love her very much. Oh, that's nice. Do you want to talk about this more, Josh?

Yeah. Well, let's get into these family trips. Oh, okay. Family trips. So, Amy, you grew up with your wonderful sister, Kim. And we've both been lucky enough to know. We've both been lucky enough to hang out with, play poker with. Yeah.

And what is your first memory of family trips? So I also have an often forgotten older brother named Jason, who's a jazz musician. And, you know, with families, as you know, there are it's a constant negotiation and you have varying degrees of closeness to each other at times. You know, there's times where I talk to them both every day, several times a day. There's times where I talk to them both every day, several times a day. And then there's years where we don't keep up that much. But going on trips with my family, when I first thought about this podcast, I thought about some of our family trips, some of our insane excursions, and the situations really

that my mom put us in just like very dangerous, dangerous, how like one day she'd be like, all of a sudden she'd be like, let's go hiking. And my mom was really not good. So we had like no money, but she'd be like, I sold the couch and we're going to a B and B in Pennsylvania. We're going to, you know, whitewater raft on the Delaware. And we're like, what? And then we'd be like going for a hike and we'd get lost and we'd wind up like one time we had to hitchhike and it was, um, we hitchhiked with like an 18 wheeler that drove us just because we got lost on a hike. Like she had us, she had my brother hide because she thought they wouldn't pick up a boy and he kind of ran out once the truck pulled over. And then, yeah, and we all went on this one time,

you know, you can whitewater raft on the Delaware. I didn't know. Believe it or not. But it's so tame that you can do it self-guided. And I was probably 12, which would make my sister like around nine, my brother like 16. And they told us, but you know,

the only thing you need to know about this whitewater raft experience is you're going to come to a fork in the road and you really need to go to the right. Because if you go to the left, there's this huge electric eel trap where if the boat goes up on it, there's all these spikes and the, you know, so that these eels get caught and it being incredibly dangerous, but go to the right. And, you know, and so what everyone in my family did was we all, while they were saying that tuned out and just thought, I'm sure somebody else is listening to which way we're supposed to go right now. So when we got to the thing, we said, which way did they say to go? And everyone's like,

I thought you were listening. And I thought you were listening. And we went to the left and we went to the left and we quickly realized that we were supposed to go to the right and that we were heading for honestly deaf. Honestly, did you see, was the electric eel tramp visible?

Let me just point out, by the way, the minute they said that the water was so full of eels, they needed a trap. I would have been. But did you see it? Were you coming towards it? Yeah. So then we were coming towards it and we saw where we were headed. And there was like kind of a little like a last possible second.

It wasn't even an option for a drop off. It was a full waterfall. It was like an of a little like a last possible second it wasn't even an option for a drop off it was a full waterfall it was like an actual severe waterfall and so all of a sudden it went from a very peaceful coast down the delaware to um we are going to die in this electric eel trap and so we all had to work together to get the boat down this waterfall. And it was like went from such peace to such chaos and terror and screaming. And I'd never heard my mom curse before. And my brother had to get out of the boat because we got stuck on a rock and there was water pouring in the boat. And, you know, she said, get the fuck in the boat.

And then all of a sudden, all of a sudden we were just back on like normal water. And it was like very chill. We all could not believe that had happened hopping out of the boat that you know into water that has electric eels in it now i want to ask a question yeah yeah because i want to clarify is this a trap for electric eels or is it a trap for regular eels and the trap is electric okay that's a really good question that's a really good question i don't know yeah i don't know but i think like it was like there were stakes that they were supposed to get caught on and i kind of feel like in my mind it's like they were supposed to be electrocuted but i mean that just seems insane that does seem insane i need to follow i need

like a real follow-up where i get where i get info. But like because I think the way you trap an electric eel is like you put I think because I think they eat batteries. You just dangle a little battery slightly above the water. I didn't know you fish with a battery. You're the guy that goes on late night shows like with with exotic animals. Right. Yes. And no information about that. That would be really funny. That would

be a really funny segment. And they're all in black boxes. And then you lift off the lid and I have to in real time give you my best guess for how you catch them. I can't believe that you right now are not doing a TV show. It's heartbreaking. It's really wild. I know it's like, you know, I know you're thinking about your staff and like their jobs and everything and all that like human stuff. But also just you not having a show right now, like is so weird to me. Like I just. It's very, it's very strange. Like I don't understand what you're doing.

Do you go for walks? He looks like he's in a coffin. He hides in a coffin. This is the thrust of it. And then we, wait, how much older is Jason than you? He's three and a half years. And then Kim is how much younger? Three and a half, yeah.

Okay, so you're kind of, when you went in, I mean, your parents got divorced when you were a teenager? Yeah, when I was like 10, 11, yeah. Do you remember trips with everybody was it all five of you ever no no my dad was a guttural alcoholic and uh but and like he tried to um like he'd be like i'm gonna take you guys on a road trip like whenever my dad would be like i'm do i'm gonna take you guys somewhere it always was like so dark. And it ended in like one time he was like, I'm going to take you to see Rent. And we were like, OK.

And then like we got there at like three, you know, for the matinee. And they were like, these are for the night. And we were like, oh, that's all right, Dad. You know, and he was just sitting there like sitting on a fire hydrant, like just sad, like defeated and tired. And, you know, he went home. We stayed, we had a great time. We saw rent, but it was like dad's excursions always ended in absolute trauma. But there's a road trip I wanted to talk about that I thought I might, might be able to bring to this podcast that maybe somebody else couldn't, which is I had this like evil grandma, my mom's mom, just like very, very mean woman. And she loved going on cruises. So in college, you know, you're so like, I was so poor.

If you had like a grandparent that would let you like just lay next to them in Florida, wherever they're like dying, you're like, great. Like that was a spring break, you know? And my grandma was like, I'm like, let's go that was a spring break, you know? And my grandma was like, I'm like, let's go on a cruise, like you and me. So went on a cruise with my grandma. And she was mean your whole life. She, you always knew her as a mean grandma. Yeah. Yeah. She was, she was like really mean to my mom.

Was she your mom's mom? Yeah. And like a major narcissist, we would have this game where the challenge was to try to say something that she couldn't relate to herself. But there's no one ever won. In college, my job was kickbox. It was a kickbox instructor. And I was like, yeah, I'm just sore because I taught a lot of kickboxing classes this week. And she goes, I didn't teach kickboxing classes this week. It was like, wow. You know, I was like, okay. But anyway, she loved gambling. And so she agreed to take me on this cruise. And so I went on this like carnival, you know, or whatever cruise with my grandma. We shared a room and we would like eat meals together. And then she would gamble and I would

like drink and try and hook up with guys. And yeah, and like I had the best time. So you did. You did not regret it. No, I didn't. I didn't regret it. And this guy, this like beautiful guy, like we hooked up. And I don't know if this is kind of, you know, podcast where you could say, but like I remember he was like going down on me.

I was like laying on the like this deck late at night. I remember he was like going down on me. I was like laying on the, like this deck late at night, like, you know, knowing my grandma was like sleeping soundly in her little room with a portal, like just like life is going to be great,

you know? And, I'm so glad I did want to ask where the hooking up takes place when you share a tiny cabin with the deck of the, the deck of the ship. I was on the deck and there must be footage. I mean, there must be footage somewhere.

Right. Yeah. Right. Probably. Yeah. Someone can security cameras. Well, security cameras were more expensive in those days.

Now they're everywhere. They didn't have nest at the time, but did you feel any closer with your grandmother at the end of the trip? No. Okay. No. What did you call her? Gaga.

Gaga. Gaga. Which is what Chris, my husband, also called his grandma, who I got to meet. They're really two Gagas. Two Gagas. Mm-hmm. Is that a cultural, does that come from any nationality, or is it just what you called them? I don't know.

I know that she was Protestant. Mm-hmm. Chris's grandma, godless woman, real godless woman real godless woman god guys for wait you must have met chris's grandma over the years did you ever meet her set i mean she was very she was so sweet she was so so old um yeah and chris was so hot i remember when she walked by everybody yeah what were your uh do you remember what your ports of call were on that cruise were you oh my god we definitely went to the bahamas you know it was like florida and then you're just like on the sea for one full day and everyone's

throwing up and then and then the bahamas and then like some island that the cruise line owns and they charge you like, you know, eight dollars for a signature cocktail like Coco Loco or just something that's absolute trash. And this is all your grandmother's paying for everything. My grandma's got footing the bill and I was just in heaven, you know. Corn rows. Do you think you did corn rows on a trip like that? Oh, yeah. I never did. But I did have corn row envy. Yeah.

It sounds like a trip where a lot of that would go down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when people would get back and have the braids or whatever. I mean, it's so funny that no one ever thought it was problematic. Like at all. because it today looks problematic immediately it's real problematic it's really not it's really not what you're supposed what you're supposed to do have you have you guys gone on have you gone on many family road trips we did a a great amount of family road trips never Never like monster long road trips. We used to fly to Florida a lot and we would drive to visit our sets of grandparents who

were Pittsburgh and Massachusetts when we were living in Michigan. So those are sort of sizable drives. And then we would like, before we lived in New Hampshire, which is like we moved there when I was five and Seth was seven, something like that. We would go visit our grandmother in Massachusetts and we would drive up into New England and we would go sort of to these touristy spots that were in New Hampshire and thereabouts. How long of a trip? Was it like five hours in the car or something? Yeah, I feel like that's probably the max we would do in a day.

That's such a long time for a kid to be in a car. If I had a catchphrase, it was how much more longer, which was obviously the incorrect way to say it. Yeah. And my dad would correct me every time, which I have so much appreciation for because my kids say stuff wrong all the time and I don't correct them.

No, no. Yeah, no. Are we supposed to correct them? I don't know. I think so. It depends on if you want your kids to get better at saying stuff. Yeah, right. I just feel like he'll figure he'll learn. He'll learn. He'll figure it out down the road. So when you first start making because it doesn't sound like you're having the sort of luxury vacation experience. You start making a little money. Do you ever take your family? I mean, I know Kim travels with you a great deal,

but like, did you ever take your mom on a, you know, thank you for taking us on the River of Eels trip? Yes. Kim and I have like, we did like a really fun, you know, backpack through Europe, stay in youth hostels thing where we almost like i just got us much like my mom just got us in so many incredibly dangerous situations where i think we were almost sold into sex trafficking but like in terms of like my mom she's come to the vineyard a lot

and i've paid for her to like go to italy you know, like go do stuff. But, you know, I don't know about you. Like I, I know I do know about you actually. And family is something that you can only spend a certain amount of time with. Like my friend Rose, you know, Rosebud Baker, the comedian, she's, she's pregnant. She just went to Italy with her mom for two weeks yeah it's a long time like that's an insane that's an insane thing to do yeah that's insane so i don't know if this just happens to every women of a certain age and if it's going to come for me but like the sort of like wanting to take joy and every aspect and point everything out is like infuriating and i can't you know like look at look at this look at the

way they have milk here look at the way they serve milk here you know it's like i just you know that just makes me go completely brain dead yeah i feel I feel like when you and Chris travel, probably no one's ever talking about how anything's made. Chris and I don't speak to each other for a couple of days at a time just so we could save things up. No, we don't. We don't want to, you know, we'll go like, this is so nice. You know, we try to show gratitude and appreciate it, but we don't try to be like, you know, just the idea of like thinking that you're adorable for enjoying something. Yeah. You know, like I'm, isn't it interesting about me that I'm taking notice of this thing? Yeah. It's just a little too much. When you watch those,

let's say you're on a United flight and the pre-flight video that shows travelers, they're just things I realized I'm never gonna do i'm never gonna be in a foreign spice market and just lift up sort of fresh some like fresh turmeric and just be like like everything they do in those videos i'm i wanna i wish i had that sort of joy and and my life but it's always just like two really beautiful. I'm never going to run with my spouse through the breaking surf. Even like I was watching You Hurt My Feelings last night. Have you seen it yet? The Nicole Hobbs setter?

No, I haven't. Is it wonderful? It's amazing. I loved it. I really loved it. And the performances are great, but it's just funny the way that married couples interact in movies and stuff like you know that they'll like kind of just stop in the you know in the bedroom for a second just kind of like look at each other take each other in kind of you know

kiss for a second like i'm like who has a marriage like who's doing this like is this is this real is this sufficient in me like is is this what marriage is doing this? Like, is this, is this real? Is this sufficient in me? Like, is, is this what marriage is supposed to look like? Or is this just what marriage looks like in movies? Like, I don't know anyone who's like, they'll just kind of take a minute. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Some, you know what? I find it more if we're hanging out with other people, I can see, you know, you put your hand on your spouse's back, you connect with them. I understand that. But the sort of like day to day of like what marriage looks like on film and TV is like so foreign to me. And like and sex and like the way that that stuff is portrayed.

It's like not one of us is never like, hey, like kind of turned on, like initiate out of nowhere. It's just, I just, it's so foreign to me that I'm like, am I doing this wrong or is this not real? If Alexi had one of those cinematic moments where we were folding clothes and she just stopped and took me in, I would text her sister and say, I think she had a stroke. It was a short one. You'd be like, she had a tiny, she's secretly on something. Cause she,

she sort of like took stock of me as a human. Right. And, and, and in a positive way. No, for your partner to even notice you, that you're in the room is haunting.

You know, you know, my sister-in-law very well. yeah one of my best friends video i had to make a video for my um mother and father-in-law tom and joanne and i it was just me saying it was did they have an anniversary or something no they were i just made it to show them what was happening i was i said um hey i'm just having a romantic lunch with your daughter. And I turned the phone around and it was just her and Arielle sitting shoulder to shoulder. And I just said, when is the last time you saw your daughter sit that close to me? And just the two of them.

Right, right, right, right. So that's the thing, too, where you can't say, but I'm with you every day because they're with each other every day and they're just doing fine. No, they're actually having a really beautiful marriage. They really are. I'm jealous of their marriage. Right, because they live in different houses. No, it's perfect. So it's a perfect marriage.

They're doing it completely right. So this got away from family trips, but since we're talking about marriage, how long have you been dating, Mackenzie, Josh? Yeah, Josh, what's, is this a 10 years? Yeah, we're coming up on 10 10 years some people feel ready for an engagement after 10 years some people i've met yeah but some outliers when you when you know you know yeah that's true that's what i've been told yeah i've been told i don't know but then it's like why get married also Well, you guys are making a great case for it.

You're in a shed that your husband's moving into, and Seth's in an attic. Surprised to be recognized or even noticed by his wife. You have to hide from your family. That's part of marriage, is you have to find several. And you need to support your spouse hiding from your family. I support the shed. I'm going to get beautiful central air in here for him. And you need to support your spouse hiding from your family. I support the shed.

I'm going to get beautiful central air in here for him. Yeah. It is like the thing, what I would love in a house more than anything is a tiny room behind a bookshelf. Like a sliding bookshelf. You want like a speakeasy that no one knows. Yes, I think that's what this is. One bar stool speakeasy that no one knows yes i think that's what this is that one bar stool speakeasy now you uh a touring comedian you did a bunch of shows this year getting ready for a special how often do chris and your son come with you how often has that become a family trip

never it at first you know if it was like i was going somewhere like i went to the jersey shore and we were like oh that's fun and then like connect you know if it was like I was going somewhere, like I went to the Jersey Shore and we were like, oh, that's fun. And then like, you know, if it's like very close by or if we can tie it in. But it's not really conducive to I can't like go and be like a mom and getting, you know, your family settled into a hotel. And then is your headspace even when because I hope your answer means there's not something wrong with me, which even though you know the more you do an hour the more you should know it and I think the more you do know it but even then I don't want to spend a whole day thinking about anything other than that hour no you just can't like being on the road no matter how privileged it is it's it's really hard and it sucks it's hard on your body and you're flying and you're you know you're not just going to these like fun direct cities it's like weird places that

other people don't want to go and yeah and like to bring your family dynamic you know all of a sudden they don't start treating me like an artist who's going to be performing for that night for a big audience you know it's like yeah they don care. And it's not their fault, nor should they. No, no, of course not. But it's, it's not conducive. Like, it's so much better for me to just go. But I'm also so I haven't done stand up since December since I did the special and I like, don't want to. Yeah, yeah. You're doing stand-up, right? As we alluded to, I'm trying to fill up my days. Have you been writing? I mean, I don't ever write, but have you been writing? I have an hour that I'm working on,

and so it is nice to try to come up with new ways to do that. But my stand-up is always far more apolitical than the show, and so it is weird to watch daily events unfold that we're not talking about. Yeah, that's got to be so weird. Because there's a lot going on. There's a lot going on. But I think there'll be another. I'll be back.

There'll be another indictment soon enough. Against you? I hope so. Josh, what's your relationship to the strike? Have you guys been picketing or anything? I've done a little picketing and then I've been like redoing my garage. Maybe I'm turning my garage into my secret. There you go.

My secret hideaway. Sounds like somebody's ready for marriage. Yeah. Get that hideaway ready and then put a ring on it. Just a little workout room. I painted a couple walls. I was just going to say in terms of family trips, you know, we're lucky enough that sometimes the Seinfelds will take us with them.

And it's really fun to be on somebody else's family trip and just be like the family who's trying to not get in the way, you know? And they have, I don't know them well, but they have lovely children. Oh my God. Their family's the best. They're so fun to hang out with. And it's the ultimate compliment is for somebody to say, we want you to come hang out.

That just means you're bearable. Yeah. That's amazing. That is a big. Because again, to invite another family on your family trip, it has to be more than bearable. And I'm assuming that's pretty nice. You guys stay at a Hotel 9.

Is that true? A what? It's not a Hotel 8. It's a hotel hotel nine it's a hotel nine yeah yeah it's um yeah it's it's a nine it's a nine on the scale and uh is it a hotel six or hotel eight did i motel motel six i called it hotel eight in my my head, it was Hotel 8. I knew what you were saying, though. Yeah, I did. Motel 7. Look, we're rusty. We're rusty. I have a family trips thing to ask you, which is you,

more than a lot of people I know, have a group of close friends that are like family. What would you say your core group of close women friends is? How big a number? I would say seven. Okay. You there's there's four from home like i've got four friends from home and we still every year do a vacation together and then you know bridget and uh bridget everett and rachel feinstein and so how you know and you have taken numerous trips as a group together over the years? Yes. Yes.

Do you have sort of a standing? Is it like an annual thing? It is. It is annual. Great. It is annual. And those can stretch out. Those are not usually just weekends, right? No, we do like a week.

We do a week. It's getting more challenging as, you know, everybody with their kids and whatever and husbands. And it's like, okay, then are we going to do just the girls or bring the family? And it's hard. It's just, and everybody has their own parenting styles. Do you guys ever turn against each other over the course of a week? Or do you tend to keep it pretty jovial? We don't fight, actually.

That's impressive. pretty pretty jovial we don't fight actually i mean we of course like um kind of pair off and and you know trash talk each other uh of course that's part of the fun and i know they trash talk me as soon as i'm gone and i i expect that and but no we just really like you know it's just god those those friends that you've had forever that you just know forever it's like there's just something really relaxing about being together and i don't know we have a very close group of friends josh and i and 10 other guys it's 12 of us all college so many yeah and we anybody did anybody get filtered out over the years did anybody get filtered we filtered one in we actually

like absorbed going the wrong way with it yeah it was too good we had to share it with the world it's great and yeah there's a there's a rule there's the no poopy pants rule and if someone starts to get crabby about something or complaining about anything it's like hey and someone can throw a flag on you and take it elsewhere wow don't do that here if you get moody you got to take it outside yeah or just like yeah tap out for a minute but we don't want that we don't want that around here yeah yeah we're not we're not here for that yeah we get that we get that at home have you ever had something like this happen amy where it's around this very like you do something so embarrassing and you know it's this group of people you're going to see so much over the years and it's such a sticky story and it's embarrassment that you'll

never live it down i'll give you my example yeah one of my friends got married in bermuda and we decided we would all take scooters out for the day this group of 12 guys and in order to pass the scooter test all you had to do was drive a scooter in a circle around the parking lot i cannot stress to you how much they wanted to rent you this scooter these were not people safety was not first and foremost the bermuda government set the bar so low right for what you had to do and one of my friends went first, Kevin, right, Josh? And he failed. Oh my God. And then I was one of the people leading the charge, making fun of Kevin. Oh no. And then I got on next and I drove it around totally fine, no error. And then I just

had to stop in front of the guy. And I, the only way i can describe it now is everything went black and i crashed into the rack of all the bermuda scooters yeah i think you were worried about running into all the guys and then you just like jumped off the bike as it was in motion you knocked down a row i peewee hermand the scooters and then they had given you'd already had to fill out the paperwork and sign the waiver and it was in your back pocket. And I sort of lifted myself up and I walked over and I handed the waiver back to the man. Because you knew it was over. I knew it was over, took the helmet off.

And then I told everyone that I wasn't gonna be ready to joke about this for a couple of days. And like, how many years ago is that? That was probably like 15 years ago. And can you, to this day, like, do you feel ready or? Now it's ready. But sometimes I'll post a video online of one of my kids on a bicycle and the speed at which they're like, I hope somebody else taught him how to ride a bicycle, a scooter. Yeah.

My one friend when when she was in in middle school, I won't say her name, but we were in gym in middle school and we were sitting in our squads and she farted and she was so humiliated. old and still to this day you know she's 42 mother of two like if we bring up her farting in in gym and like you know seventh grade she will like cry oh like it's like you can't it's so funny because if it happened to your kid you would tell them oh it, it happens to everybody. No one's going to remember it. The honest answer is no one will ever forget this. No. However bad you feel about it is accurate. How could you have done that? What's wrong with you? I love bringing it up.

Just when you know something still just gets somebody, don't you just love it? The hair is on the back of my neck stand up at the very thought of being a 12-year-old who farted. I once was on a school, a field trip, and sat, like, just randomly got sat next to who I thought was one of the hottest girls on the bus. And I guess I was so nervous about it that I got super tired and fell asleep on top of her and like drooled all over her shirt and like we went over a bump and I woke up and the whole bus had been like watching and they all just like burst into laughter oh my god I got too I got too nervous and then I fell asleep yeah that happens with the like big anticipation stuff my girlfriend went like skydiving and she

fell asleep on the way there fell asleep i think in the sky and slept the whole way home it's just like the stress have you sky sky dove josh no it's the only thing dad asked us to never do and so i haven't so this is a this is kind of reflecting back to family trips my dad for his birthday a few years ago the thing he really wanted to do that he's never done is go up in a hot air balloon and i said that i wouldn't do it because i was worried that if something went wrong and the hot air balloon like there was a rip and we you know we were falling to our death i thought it would take too long for us to fall to our death and the whole family would turn on each other. I just didn't, I'm happy to die right away. But you didn't want the,

the long, a long floating trip where my mom has time to tell my dad, this is all your fault. Oh my God. And then maybe we all catch on fire too.

Like there's, yeah, the fire would, could not come fast enough if mom was just laying into dad about like, well, I hope you're happy

in your hot air balloon ride. It would be funny if you jumped off to end it quicker. Like you didn't want to be part of And then a rope got caught around his ankle and he was just dangling. No, he never went. He never went. Let him go. Let him hot air balloon. Maybe I'll take him on a hot

air balloon ride. That I'm fine with. You guys can slowly die together. I don't want, I wouldn't skydive if i could would you schumer i did skydive you did i did skydive i i did it when i was you know in my 20s with a boyfriend i didn't like really like that much so i felt weird doing it with him because i was like i don't really want to be making memories here. Like this isn't going to be very long. I remember he brought up season tickets for something like, should we get season tickets? And I was like, this is not, yeah. And I didn't like it. And, uh, I felt like, you know, your tandem with someone. And so I felt like I needed to be performing for him. Like,

And so I felt like I needed to be performing for him like. This is amazing. You know, he's like, isn't this great? You know what I'm like? Yeah, this is great. You know, but I was like, I don't like this and I wouldn't do this again. Were you nervous or bored? I feel like it would be one of the two.

It was, you know, it's such a scary thought that I just like shut my mind off to it. And like, you know, when I jumped out of the plane, like like just closed my eyes like i just hurled my body through the experience and then and then opened my eyes and tried to you know enjoy whatever you're supposed to enjoy about it i didn't i didn't enjoy it yeah even once the the thing opened and the thing and you know it was cool to be done. Like, it's cool to I like like when you're done skiing. I like when you're when you survive. I just realized, can you guys hear like a like a singing?

Or is that not? OK, no, no. I'm not having a breakdown. No, you're fine. OK, there's a little like plastic door in the attic And it's singing a song Like for kids to play with Oh good

It says it's a huge fan You have three kids We do Three kids So cute We have traveled with all three How's your son as a traveler He's a great traveler So cute. Hey, little. So cute. We have traveled with all three. Have you? How is your son as a traveler?

He's a great traveler. He's having a very different experience than I did, you know, with his level of privilege. It's pretty funny, you know. You bought him his own eel trap. That's right. That's right. That's correct. that's right that's right that's correct he has a really fun vibe because he's so used to like things being kind of like everybody being pretty nice and like wanting to hang out you know he

hasn't had like the root he's in school and whatever so there's little mean mean things at school but i don't know with travel and stuff he's just like saying hi to everybody and it's great he's pumped about it. It feels very good. You know, just putting him on an airplane and putting his little headphones on him being like, OK, and you can watch, you know, whatever on your laptop. Like he just feels like very he just looks like a little businessman. And what about Chris?

Chris, a good traveler. Do your vibes sync up well? Chris gets a little nervous with change. Yeah. And it takes a couple days to sort of settle in wherever we go to sort of get past that. We always kind of fight the first three days we go anywhere, especially when we come to Martha's Vineyard because it's where he grew up. So all of those old triggers.

When Alexi gets somewhere with the kids, she unpacks a suitcase that's just full of tech. And it's all just their nest cams. Right, right, right. That's hilarious. You know those scenes in a movie where spies have an hour before people come back to their office? Yes.

And so just a team of spies goes in and they're just screwing listening devices into light bulbs. She's just like Don Cheadle. Yeah, she fully Cheadles wherever it is we're staying. Oh my God, that's amazing. And yeah, I don't add a lot of value on those days. No, no. I don't really know my place in my family but yeah on the stage

i do like like the idea of a road trip with the fam at some point yeah where do you think you'd go yeah where i don't know like an you know i don't know what an airstream is um but that sounds nice um the name the name tickles your ear. Yeah. The Airstream. Like I'm just, I don't know what I'm picturing, but. They're beautiful Airstreams. I got to Google what it is because, you know, it's in my ear, but it would be fun to like

go on some sort of a, I don't know the, I don't know what route. I don't know. What's a good route. Well, I mean, out West, all the national parks, I feel like that's sort of. I'd love to do that. That's the quintessential. What's a good age to take a kid to do that? Ten?

I don't know. I think you could do younger than that. Yeah. Okay. All right. I'll plan for that. All right. We have, we want to be sure to ask you some quick questions.

Great, I'm ready. These we ask all our guests. Okay. Is your ideal vacation? You can pick one of these. Are you relaxing? Is it adventurous? Is it enlightening?

Or is it educational? I think relaxing. Yeah. I want to like be able to hike. Yeah. And then like look at pretty stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't like to like lay out, you know, in the sun but i i like to go for a walk and drink in a pool that sounds lovely those are solid and you and your pool yeah yeah we'd love to have you yeah um do you prefer to travel by train plane automobile boat or on foot train train train you know what i i hope um i hope president biden is listening because we do have to make our trains a little bit nicer i know he's a big fan but a lot of our guests say train a lot of our guests say train and the trains just we we need them to be a little

bit nicer i love amtrak i love a long train i want to take Gene on like a night train where you have like a room. The trains in Europe are fun. The subway. I love the subway. Yeah. Yeah. Train. If you could take a vacation with any family other than the Seinfelds, because you've done that, alive or dead, fictional or real, who would, what family would you like to go on vacation with swiss family robinson perfect answer yeah i can't believe people haven't said it yet

i feel like they'd make a really cool setup wherever that tree house in swiss family robinson is still what i thought that's what i thought when you made it you'd be able to live in well that's what we need to make a reality. Yeah. You know? Just a little bit less architectural digest and a little bit more, you know, tree houses that run on a pulley system. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, would be a great vacation. And can I just say these questions are a little too hard hitting? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We do. We do get to the. Well, here's one. Here's one that. I'm a public. I'm a public figure. vacation and can i just say these questions are a little too hard hitting yeah yeah yeah we do we

do get to the well here's one here's one that uh i'm a public i'm a public figure this one might be harder hitting if you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family who would you want to be there with you my family yeah i guess my son yeah great you know i feel like that's very uh that's very selfless because he's not going to help much. No, I'm going to have to do the helping. Yeah. But you say he's,

he's good. He's a good traveler. Yeah. As long as he has his laptop and his little headphones. Yeah. It'll look like he's doing things to help. Yeah. Desert desert islands famously have outlets.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Once I get the nest set up you can go exploring hopefully run into that guy from that cruise from the top deck of the cruise maybe he's that i think too i wonder if that guy knows that i like got famous yeah and he's telling the story was that early in the trip i'd not to go back to this but was that early in the last night of the trip okay gotcha because i would imagine like a cruise hookup you got to be real sure or just save it for the last night it was the last night yeah that wouldn't

have i don't think that would have aged well and was the was the deck of the ship just littered with people who were hooking up on the last night no it was very much closed the stairs you know it was very very late at night and we had to disembark the next morning and i was like uh hung over and just you know that's what two uh if young people are listening to a disembark is when two uh bodies poised codal bodies uh remove themselves from one another yeah that's what it is you're from long island yeah yeah what town specifically rockville center now i've i've not been to rockville center would you recommend rockville center as a place for other people to go on vacation no on a vacation no okay okay thank you for your honesty i i would recommend raising a family there. They have good schools.

It's, you know, pretty racist, pretty anti-Semitic. But, you know, where where isn't. And there's nice beaches. I grew up going to Long Beach, nice beaches. But no. Would you would you recommend people go to Bedford, New Hampshire? Yeah. I would say we're nearby.

I'd say we're like, right, like 40 minutes from like good New Hampshire sort of vacation areas. We're a little we're a little sort of basic suburb. A beautiful again. Right. You could stay in Rockville Center and you could go and be in Manhattan in, you know, 30 minutes and you could be at the beach in 20 minutes. So, you know, go on a vacation to Rockville Center. Enjoy yourself. Yeah. And thenh has our closing question oh okay grand canyon have you been no do you want to go not really okay thank you i've flown over it yeah that's a lot of people try to get away with that as their answer that doesn't count yeah no i just i've never like you know people are oh you can ride a donkey yeah that's That's what Josh wants to do.

You'll see tarantulas. And I'm like, oh, that sounds great. I don't want to do that. But Utah, go to an Amangiri or whatever. Beautiful. Yeah. There you go. But just, you know, you're anti giant holes in the ground.

You always have been. I don't want to go to that hole. Yeah. Josh, you want to go been. I don't want to go to that hole. Yeah. Josh, you want to go to that hole? I want to go to that hole. Yeah. I def do. But I, yeah, I haven't been, haven't been in it, seen it, but I haven't been in it.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't feel pulled to the hole. All right. Amy, it has been a delight talking to you. Thank you so much for making time for Family Trips of the Myers Brothers. My absolute pleasure. Thank you. Good luck with the shed. brothers my absolute pleasure thank you good luck with the shed oh my god thank you yeah it really is lovely can i just show you one other thing about the shed yeah which is chris's he's been into this for

i don't know a couple months now you see this thing hanging right here? What is it? It's weighted clothing, which he's seen. Oh, like to sleep in? Nope. He wears it all day under his clothes just to give himself a little edge, like he's getting a little more of a workout than weighted clothing. Wow, weighted clothing. Yeah, and it's just one of the wonders of marriage. I was going to say, Josh, if you wear a weighted clothing all day,

that'll give you a taste of what being married is like. Exactly. But I'll, you know, if I do go to like touch him, like kind of give a, you know, spousal support. And then I feel that he has a weighted clothing on. I'm so repelled. Yeah. It would be like finding out your husband is just, just to be safe wearing a bulletproof vest around you at all times. Exactly. That's what it feels like. And it's like, okay. And so I'm seeing you in like a couple of weeks, right? I'm seeing you in a couple of weeks. I love you very much.

Congrats on the special. It's called Emergency Contact. You can see it on Netflix. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. And called her grandma with a plan And his grandma was super mean

But took her on a cruise and paid for everything They got Coco Loco down in Martinique And then they compared their kickbox technique Granny gambled while Amy boozed and then she met herself a super handsome dude. And well, down below her granny slept.

He went down to put on the upper deck all thanks to her evil grandma. Her evil grandma. Her evil grandma. They called her Gaga. Her evil grandma. you