Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - AYA CASH Took Trips to Monasteries

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

Aya Cash joins Seth and Josh on the pod this week! She talks all about growing up in San Francisco (proper), the infamous New Mexico divorce road trip, the family member who won Wimbledon, her trip to monasteries with her father, her dream job, the incident that brought her parents together, and so much more! #familytrips #sethmeyers #joshmeyers #ayacash Support our sponsors:AirbnbThanks to Airbnb for their support of Family Trips.  Visit Airbnb.com today and book a guest favorite.  These are the most beloved homes on Airbnb. Rocket MoneyStop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/trips.

Hey, Poshy. Hey, Sufi. I don't know if you saw that we had a guest on late night who shouted out the podcast. Oh, no. Who was it? Lin-Manuel Miranda. Oh. Lin-Manuel Miranda says his son likes listening to family trips at night right before bed,

and Lin wants to slow it way down for him. So his son listens at 0.75. Ooh. And so Lynn says, we sound like a couple of drunks who are calling each other Poshie and Sufi. But he also said his son only wants to listen to people he knows, and that's only at this point been Josh Gad and Ben Schwartz.

And so Lynn says he's heard those multiple times. Both good episodes, I should know, but. Yeah, I will say our producers were throwing some names at us recently and Ben Schwartz made the list. And I was like, we've are, we had Ben Schwartz and someone was like, well, should we have him again? And I think Lin-Manuel Miranda's son would probably.

Would love that. I think Lin-Manuel, even more than his son, would be like, get him in here. I listen to our show at double speed because I take notes to write the songs. Right. If I'm ever listening to us at regular speed, it sounds like we're two drunk guys. Yeah. Who have no respect for your time.

Yeah. So I apologize to everyone out there. But that's just me. that's how I roll. Malky, we talked about the great game Malky. Oh, such a good game. Someone said they ran to their computer to correct us when listening to the story, which was, it's Finnish. They claim Malky is Finnish, it's not Norwegian or Danish. I thought I would have said Finnish, but okay.

So you do confirm it's a Finnish game? Yeah, I mean, I guess I can only confirm 100% because this person ran to the computer to correct me and I'm happy to be corrected. Also, I will say we've got a lot of love for Finland. You ran the Helsinki Marathon. I did. So we, in no way, shape or form meant to disrespect Finland.

Oh, we love Finland. We did not want to, we did not want to take them from you, Finland. Congrats on Malky, it's a great game. I saw someone say, oh my God, Josh Myers taught me how to make an umlaut on their keyboard because you had a very instructive thing. I don't think anybody ever knew that. I certainly didn't. And I've already forgotten.

So you just hold it down. You hold down a letter and then you see all the possible derivations of that letter. It's amazing. You change people's lives. It's a couple of things. We're recording this before two things that will have happened when you're listening. Halloween and the election.

Anyway, we won't belabor that, but I do want to say we're running into Halloween. And I think anybody who's listening with kids know that they do not lock it down. They have a lot of thoughts about their costumes and then they change it a bunch. But I think we're at this place where I think Ash is going to be Zeus, Axel is going to be an old lady, and he's going gonna be Cookie Monster. That's where we're at as of this recording.

Great. Excellent choices. Did I ever talk to you about how Ash is super into Greek gods right now? Yeah, yeah. He said to me the other day, with great pain and regret, you know, my problem is I can never remember the difference between Cersei and Medusa.

And I was like, it's okay, bud. He's like, yeah. He'll get there. He's like, all right. Yeah. Also tell him it's Cersei. Cersei, yes. Well, I think that might be dad error there.

Okay, yeah. Oh, but my stand-up special's out, right? You know, we don't plug a lot of other stuff. Check out Dad Man Walking on Macs. You can stream it on Macs. Yeah. I saw it live, but I am looking forward to seeing it on my couch. There's a bit about you and your veganism.

And I'm happy so far because I feel as though, you know, I'm always worried about people I don't actually have any issue with thinking that I've attacked them. And thus far, no vegans are upset by my vegan material. I will say I did a vegan comedy show out here in Los Angeles a couple years ago when Mom and Dad were here. Tig Notaro was the headliner at the Dynasty Typewriter Theater. And one of the organizers of that show sent me an email to be like,

I was really worried when I was watching your brother's special and he sort of started in on the vegan stuff and I thought he was going to be punching down. And at the end of the day, he was very happy with it. So- Oh, that's great. I did. I should note, you're a vegan, I love you very much. Director of the special, Neil Brennan, vegan. Yeah.

And I, you know, one of the things is always when you're messing around with these specials is you want to just find the right tone. I don't want to take the jokes out, but I'm always wondering, is there a thing I can, and I added, you know, this sort of tag of the vegan section is how much better you look than I do. So I think that's ultimately all the vegans want to hear is that there's a, it's worth it. Yeah. Neo, yeah, Neo was vegan well before I was.

And I remember the first time I hearing he was vegan, he had a new name for meatballs. Do you remember what that was? No. Murder balls. Oh yeah, murder balls. or Meatballs, do you remember what that was? No. Murder Balls.

Oh yeah, Murder Balls. Nice. Getting into this sort of, you know, Halloween and Thanksgiving spirit, I'm very excited. This, there was a horror movie that came out last year called Thanksgiving. Yes. Which I haven't seen, but I've heard good things about,

and we've got a mutual friend, Jill Benjamin, who is a big horror movie fan. And for a year now, and I'm so delighted, none of my sort of horror movie friends have seen this movie. But I've had the idea to have a Thanksgiving dinner, and then we watch the horror movie Thanksgiving. So that's happening this Friday and I'm very excited. So you're going to do a Thanksgiving dinner at your home?

Yeah. We're going to do all the fixings. And some people are going to bring, it's a bit of a potluck thing to save me some of the work. But I feel like it's a perfect dinner party theme event. And I'm hoping that this movie holds up. I hope so too. Yeah. Also, you're coming out for the Thanksgiving show once again.

That's a family tradition. You, Mom, and Dad are on Thanksgiving show. And we double tape. We do two shows on Wednesday. We tape the Wednesday show, and then a couple hours later, we tape the Thanksgiving show so that people don't have to work on Thanksgiving. And I believe on the Wednesday show, where you'll also be in town, I think we're going to have an accomplished vegan chef.

Oh. Sort of maybe, it's going to be, you know, that's me sort of olive branching to the vegan community for the fact that I was joking about them. Yeah. But there are, I think you're already in their good graces. I think so too. I was worried. I thought if they're going to be really mad, I was going to say, hey, I'm going to go vegan.

Relax. And now I don't have to. You'll get there. You'll get there. I do think eventually I'm going to get there. Yeah. And that's about all I have to say. I'm very, I really enjoyed Aayu Kash. She was a wonderful conversation. Yeah.

Really a unique upbringing in the Bay Area. It's a super fun conversation. And, should we get to it? What do you think? Let's just get to it. Yeah, what are we doing anymore? Let's get to it. Thanks everybody for listening.

Here's Jeff Tweeney. Family trips with the Myers Brothers. Family trips with the Myers Brothers. Here we go. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hey. And I'm just loving you. Here we go. Hello. Hello. Hey.

Good morning. How are you? Good morning. Oh my God, you guys look like twins. We do. Yeah, we've kind of, and also I can make it worse. I can put on glasses and it's fully, but that's not helpful for anybody. Adorable.

Adorable. He's been, real quick, he's been like threatening that he needs glasses and I haven't seen, are those your glasses? These are just like cheaters. They're like 1.5s, but yeah, I need them. But they look like they're your kid's glasses also. Well, I mean, as much as I like to match with you,

I like to match with my child even more. I am very excited. I hope I'm not stereotyping or jumping to conclusions, but I feel like when people grow up in San Francisco with parents who have the jobs I have read your parents had in your bio, I just feel like it's going to be a real fertile ground. I mean, Rob asked me, he was like,

I hope you have some good stories. And I said, the first thing that comes to mind is my mother getting divorced on our vacation. So there you go. All right. Yeah, fertile. Yeah. How old were you?

Yeah, where do you go for a divorce vacation? Taos, New Mexico. Oh, wow. I spent time in Taos. Yeah, so have I. Now, do you think she, obviously we need to go back a little bit, do you think she had any sense the divorce was forthcoming

like while she was packing for that trip? Or do you think? I feel like they got married on the way there and divorced on the way back. I mean, it was not a long marriage. I think they were married maybe a year. So yeah, I doubt she had any sense. I just remember on the drive back,

like waking up while sleeping in the back of the van, like to like fighting. And then I never saw my stepfather again. Except- Oh wow. Until I say again, until they got back together, like eight years later. And now are they currently together?

No. Okay. They went back to Taos? So we've started. Oh God, my poor mother. Yes, no. They are no longer together. Okay, so let's take it back to the studs.

You're born Bay Area? Yeah, San Francisco proper. I know everyone says they're born in San Francisco and they're really born in like Marin, but San Francisco. That's good. I do think, I imagine the distinction is very important to those of you who are born in San Francisco proper. Very much.

My husband, when I met him, said he was from San Francisco and I said, where? And he said, Palo Alto. And I was like, blasphemy. You were like, did you notice how that had a different name that wasn't San Francisco? Exactly. Yeah, so I was born in San Francisco. And so your parents, what did your parents do?

So my mother is a poet and a novelist, but she had many jobs, like most artists, she's had many other jobs all throughout my life. And she also did strange writing assignments for money as well. So like when I was 16, I came home and there was a Playboy on our coffee table and she had, I think Playboy or Penthouse, she had written an erotic short story

and she was like, they pay like two grand. That was a huge job for her. So, both writing jobs and like she was the accountant for an auto body shop at one point. You know, she's done sort of everything. She was also a musician. She met my dad. He fixed her flute because my dad was also a musician for a while. And then my dad is now a Buddhist teacher and lay priest, but he was a musician in like a Balinese game on, he dealt drugs, yeah. So you're everything people from the rest of the country think a person who grew up in San Francisco is.

100%, the liberal bubble is also very real. I remember meeting Republicans in college for the first time and actively being like, I should make out with one of these because that's gonna be a different experience. I mean, it's almost like, I think in, if you're trying to meet someone in San Francisco, it sounds like you just pretend like your flute is broken.

And there'll be a guy who can probably fix it and fall in love with you. Yeah. I mean, fix your flute sounds like it's definitely referencing something, but non-musical. Does a Buddhist teacher father have a different approach to being a father than most other fathers? I feel like ours would raise his volume when he needed to sort of correct us. And I don't know one, no one who watched our dad parent

from a distance thought, I bet he's a Buddhist. What did your dad do? Yelled. Yeah, but he worked in like, in banking and like international trade finance. Like a job that to this day I can't explain to people in finance. Yeah. I think they're always surprised that I came from a dad who worked at a bank and they're

like, oh, what kind of banking? And I'm like, that's now, that's a little unfair that you would ask. Yeah. There was an old, what was counterfeit trader? There was a movie or a song about a counterfeit. Yeah. There was an old, what was counterfeit trader? There was a movie or a song about a counterfeit. Yeah, but we always referred to our father as a counterfeit trader. And whether or not that was real or not.

He traveled like a spy. It was based on the fact that he would go to exotic places. Yeah. So he has another family somewhere. You've discovered on 23andMe. And you know what? I'll be very frustrated if I find out he's a Buddhist with them.

Yeah. And if that family also has a podcast that talks a lot about the families. So is your dad maybe my dad? I have the Buddhist, I have the other side. Oh! I mean, hiding in plain sight, yeah. So yeah, so what was his parenting style?

Hiding in plain sight. Yeah. So, yeah, so what was his parenting style? Well, he did this thing with me when I was a kid. This is like the most Buddhist thing, was that he would sit me down for periods of time every, I don't know, every few months. I don't know how often we did it, but he would sit me down and he'd like make me look at him

and he'd go, okay, I want you to see me as not your father and I'm going to look at you as not my daughter and we're just going to see each other as these two humans outside of the construct of our relationship. And that was like, like looking back, that's such a beautiful thing and sort of such a gift to be able to separate in some way from your parents. But then when I was a teenager, he would try to discipline me and I'd be like, whatever, you're not my dad. I don't need to listen to you. So I backfired on him eventually.

How old were you the first time you think he did that? I feel like very young, like six. That's a very. Six or seven? I mean, I can see the danger in it, but it seems like a very cool thing to do with your kids. Yeah. And I think that's, like I feel like I have to remind myself of that sometimes just in my normal life of like,

oh, let me look at someone outside of the construct of the job, the situation, whatever it is. And that's very helpful because we get sort of locked into those ideas of who people are and based on either what they do or their relationship to us. And it's helpful to sort of zoom out. Yeah. Did you guys have, did you have siblings? No.

Okay, gotcha. Nobody was together long did you have siblings? No. Okay, gotcha. Nobody was together long enough to have siblings. My parents were- How long were your parents together? I think maybe two years. Okay. I think that they definitely wanted to have a kid.

Like they made me on purpose and that was it. They don't make a lot of sense together. They're both very, very different. How often in your life have you, obviously they got divorced when you were very young, like how much time have you spent with both of them as an adult? Oh, as an adult?

At the same time. At the same time. You know, they didn't get this feel, this so crazy, but I, suddenly I'm like, oh God, what are they gonna be okay with me sharing? But fuck it, the podcast is family trips, get on board. They should have taken you to Disney World. My dad was in a very bad accident right before my wedding, so about a year before my wedding.

And that actually really bonded all of us. My parents didn't get along for most of my childhood and they co-parented. But when my dad had his accident, sort of my mom, obviously, was really supportive and I went to San Francisco to be with him in the hospital for a long time. So I was there a couple months and that also bonded my mom with my stepmom. There was just like a sense of like, we're all in this together. And then by the time my wedding rolled around, my dad made kind of a miraculous recovery, partly because I think of his meditation practice. He had a traumatic brain injury and even in the ICU while his body is convulsing, he was saying,

let's go into this, like with his hands together. Like he, you know, that's a, it was wild to see. But at my wedding, I remember sitting in the front seat of the car with my husband driving and my mom, my stepmom and my dad were all in the back seat, like laughing and chatting. And I'm just sobbing quietly in the front because it was just such a beautiful moment for, to like hear them all together just getting along. And now they get along great.

So. That's fantastic. Yeah. Did you think before you were, do you think that was a thing you knew you had wanted or would enjoy hearing that much? Yeah. I once said, I've never seen you guys happy together. Like I don't understand how they ever ended up together.

And they sent me a photo of the two of them laughing together before I was born, before I ruined it all. Do you worry that they went to like a mall and got one of those treated photos? They were in a saloon, which makes me think it was maybe staged. Well, also showing my age,

that you couldn't really do the Photoshop-y things back when I asked for this. So, no AI involved. So, it doesn't seem like you would have any memory of a trip with both of them, like a vacation. Definitely not. No, no trips with both of them. When you're sharing, when you are getting co-parented,

did you have very different, did you go on vacations and were they different based on the parent? Yeah, I really don't remember a lot of them. I remember the trip to Taos where I also, I went to Taos and we brought this girl, Jasa, who was my neighbor, who became my best friend and sort of surrogate sister, like taught me to share and things like that. There's video of me on an Easter with her,

and every time she finds an egg, I'm screaming, I made that egg, that's my egg. You know, little only child energy and figuring out, oh, not everything is all about you. And so JSA came with us on our trip because she had a family situation that was sort of, not bad, just her mom wasn't around. So my mom kind of adopted her for a few years and she was three years older than me. And we went on this trip to Taos altogether. And the biggest thing I remember from that trip

was getting there. And I was thing I remember from that trip was getting there. And I was very boy crazy from a very young age. And I remember there was a boy there and he was like, you're the cute one, but Jace has got a better personality. I remember being like, great, I need to work on the personality. But score on being the cute one. I don't need, oh, I was such a cute kid. I don't know what happened, but now we need full beat for a Zoom back in the day.

What was it, was it a summer trip to Taos or a winter, yeah? Yeah, summer trip, very hot. I think there's, I have like an, you know, when you think you have a memory, but it's really a memory of a picture. Yes. There's like a picture memory of, I had long, long blonde hair growing up

and there's a picture of me sort of shirt off in shorts, just like very sort of, you know, waking up from a nap in the backseat of the van. My stepdad had a van that we drove and it was very hot. I don't remember air conditioning. A drive from San Francisco to Taos seems like a very long drive. Yeah, long enough to break up.

Yeah. Yeah. They say you really want to be on firm ground in your relationship before you van it from the Bay Area to Tallis. Have you guys ever done like a cross-country road trip? We never went cross-country. Yeah, I mean, I did one with our parents. Yeah, I did a solo one with my dog, which was great.

I had to be in New York for a few months. And yeah, it was fabulous there and back. I really loved it. But I took my time more on the way going east than coming back, but it's great out there. My husband and I did it a few years ago and loved it. Our dog hates the car though. So now we can't do it anymore

because she just sits there and shakes the whole time and we would never put her through it. Did she, did you have the dog for the first road trip or? No. Okay, got it, right, right, right. I was wondering if you were finding out on the way. Hey, we're gonna take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors.

Support for Family Trips comes from Airbnb. Hey, Baji. Yes, Sufi. We've got our Pittsburgh trip coming up. We do, I'm coming up. We do. I'm fired up. And one of the reasons I'm fired up is because once again, we have booked an awesome Airbnb,

and we're just gonna be hanging out in one of dad's old neighborhoods, dad's old stomping grounds. Look, we used to stay at hotels. It was great, no complaints about it, but this is something special because we're a family and I feel like last year at our Airbnb, it felt like the way we were a family when we were growing up.

We would all just meet downstairs, we would get some bagels from a local place down the street, brew some coffee, and we were just ready to face the day. Yeah, and if you, you know, if we're out and about and we get home, you might want to just throw on the TV and see if there's a game on or play some Scrabble, play a board game and just be in that shared space and be together, be in a home away from home.

And being in a living room with mom and dad is very special, especially not their living room, which is covered in dog dander and gives me an allergic reaction. Some trips are better in an Airbnb. When you're traveling with a group of friends, maybe you're traveling with a large family or an extended family.

When you're looking for an authentic or local experience, book your next awesome trip today at airbnb.com. Support comes from rock and money. Hey Pashi. Yes Sufi. What do you think Americans spend a month on subscriptions? Give me a guess. Uh, I don't know, $62 a month?

More like $300. What? That's a big difference. And this is the problem. Most Americans agree with you. They think it's about $62, turns out it's $300. That means it's like $238 that they're not accounting for every month. And Poshy, you know me. You know I sign up for dumb subscriptions

and then forget that I have them. I do too, I've done it. I've like, there's like a movie I wanna watch and it's like, well, you can get it for free if you get this free trial on this channel that you're never gonna watch again. And I'm like, yeah, give me the free trial. I'm gonna remember to cancel it.

And then I don't remember to cancel it. And then 18 months later, I look at a credit card bill, and I've been paying $7.99 a month for 18 months to watch a middling movie. So here's the thing, Rocket Money is a personal finance app. It's gonna help find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions because you don't wanna do that on your own. It monitors your spending, helps lower your bills

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That's rocketmoney.com slash trips. Rocketmoney.com slash, what is it, Souf? Trips! When you're driving cross-country, are you guys conversationalists? Are you listening to music? Is it books on tape? Is it, let's, what's your audio approach?

I would say like music and podcasts. My husband is not like a consumer of things, whereas I need something on at all times. Like I like to fall asleep to a podcast. I walk around with a pod. I'm constantly like inputting something so I don't have to sit with my own thoughts. And my husband's much healthier and likes to be, I guess it's called present to the moment. So I would probably just be listening to podcasts constantly on a road trip,

but he makes us stop and listen to music and even, I'm going to say it guys, even silence. He likes silence. There's silence, yeah. He does a lot of, he's been on a bunch of silent meditation retreats, and I just went on my first one and I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep without something. How was it? How many days was your silent retreat? I have friends who do this. Five days, or five nights, six days. And it was great. You loved it. Much easier. Yeah, shockingly.

Were you there with your husband or was it a solo thing? No, I took my friend Kelly, but we didn't talk. So we went to a Hot Springs before and after so that we could sort of, you know. Download. Be there for each other, but we didn't speak during. And we're both, I'm a weirdly, I am a rule follower, I've realized, like I wanna think I'm a rebel,

but I'm like, okay, I do this thing. I mean, today I went and bought extra headphones to try to fix this audio problem that I thought we were gonna have. I don't, like, I don't know how to not follow the rules. So on the retreat, I guess like certain people came with each other and would sort of like engage a little bit and Kelly and I were like, eyes down, each other and would sort of like engage a little bit.

And Kelly and I were like, eyes down, we're not interacting at all. Yeah. But it was actually just so nice not to talk. So is there someone guiding though, is there someone guiding the meditations who's talking? Yeah, you do a mix. Sometimes they're self-guided. It's also, I did it in this place called Viasitos, guiding the meditations who's talking? Yeah, you do a mix.

Sometimes they're self-guided. It's also, I did it in this place called Vallecitos, which is the most magical property ever. It's in the, funny enough, New Mexico. That's where my wife's from, so we spent a lot of time there. Yeah, so it's in like the bottom of the Rockies, like on the tip top of New Mexico. And it's just stunningly beautiful.

And like you have, it's like being in a Disney cartoon because the animals aren't afraid of you. So you have the little chipmunks like coming up and putting their little paws on you and begging for food. And there's deer, there's wild horses. I mean, it's just, it's an incredible landscape. So that helps keep you present because you're kind of just tripping out.

My dad always said that he got into Buddhism because it was better than drugs. You know, he like did all the psychedelics and then found Buddhism and was like, oh, I'm getting the same thing, but it's like, you know, inside out rather than outside in. Right, and then you're not two days later, you probably feel better as opposed to like crashing.

Depends on the drug. I mean, some of them have nice come downs. Yeah, that's true. Did you feel, when you left the silent retreat, did you feel exceptional? And then my follow-up is how long did that last? I was so like proud of myself. I felt so good.

I felt so like open and, and I called my husband just like happy tears. He's like, I've never seen you so joyous. And then two hours later, just crashing down. They had asked me to go to Comic-Con to announce a spin-off that I'm doing of the boys. And I said, no, I'm going on silent meditation retreat,

you know, Comic-Con, silence, but I'll make a video. So then I came out of my retreat and did the thing you're not supposed to do, which was I looked at my phone and I started responding to like the congratulations and the Instagram message. I mean, I went on and I just destroyed myself. And two hours later, I'm just sobbing

and being like, I've ruined it all. Everything that I learned, it's all gone. And my dad was like, no, no, no. It's like, this is, you don't know how it's changed you. So I feel like, no, I'm not fixed is the answer. My wife did a meditation thing and the same thing. And by the way, this though was entirely my fault. Then I like picked a petty fight with her

like four hours later and she was like, what is wrong with you? Like I'm working on myself and I'm like, yeah, all with you? Like, I'm working on myself, and I'm like, yeah, all right, all right, sorry. But the truth is, like, you can't, like, it's coming out into it, like, you can't expect other people to have had the experience that you've had. Like, you kind of, you know, Kelly got on her phone

and her husband was like, their fridge broke, and is like trying to get her to deal with, like, the minutia of the new fridge and she's like what the fuck so I um yeah and I feel like watching Josh and my dad and my stepmom everyone come home from retreat like you know I uh I have a lot of nice people around me who knew what it was like yeah but uh but you also you know ever do it with your husband did I was that something I mean if he's done it you've done it was there a reason know. Would you ever do it with your husband? Did I, was that something? I mean, if he's done it, you've done it.

Was there a reason you didn't want to do it together? I think just to have my own experience on the first retreat and to like take the pressure off of, I have a little, like a splash of co-dependency, a little, a dropper or two of, you know, I was worried about my friend Kelly the whole time, like how's she feeling? Is she okay pooping in the outhouse?

You know, I get nervous about other people's experience rather than trusting them to take care of themselves. And so I think it was also like, let's like not worry about each other. The real reason I did is I wanna go on retreat with my dad before he dies, cause I wanna, I've never been on retreat with him dad before he dies, because I've never been on retreat with him and that feels very, and my husband has.

So I would like to do that. I wonder if you'll see your dad and you'll just be like, oh, he's so much better at this. Like he's so much better at meditating, that meditation envy. I see him get mad when like the warriors lose. Like I also feel like I get the other side of spirituality. Yeah.

You know, like I grew up around all these people and I've seen like ego. I've seen, I don't have a lot of, I'm not cult susceptible because I've seen all the people that get put on pedestals be humans. So I've always been very skeptical of a lot of spirituality, even though I grew up in it. But they say this great thing on retreat, which is don't teach Buddhism, be the Buddha. And I think that's like why I like Buddhism

is when it's done right, it's not about like, you have to do this. I'm not like, everybody has to go on retreat. I'm like, I just, and now I talk like this because I feel like very sensitive. You can just, you can just like live a good life and people might be like, oh, why is so and so happy? Or, you know, what are they doing?

Rather than be like, you have to do this. I also think different things work for everybody. So I'm not an evangelist by any means. That is also that voice you should, I mean, it was very fun briefly, but I don't think anybody would enjoy you as much if you talked like that all the time. Are you sure I was thinking of starting an old me fans

where I just sort of do this? You know what, you're selling me on it. A little ASMR. I don't know, I'm getting older. The ladies in our business don't know. I'm getting older. The ladies in our business don't work that, don't work into their, no, now we're starting to work into our 50s and 60s, so maybe I won't have to do ASMR for a second career. I mean, if you do, it sounds like a pretty easy way to go.

If it's just the noise and the soft, gentle noise and fingernails, I feel like that's, yeah, I'd do that. I feel like, is there something, just because you mentioned the boys, and you're so excellent in it. And is there something, I feel like there's almost something Buddhist about when your character gets a prequel. Because you know what I mean? It's like weirdly a reincarnation.

Uh-huh. And it must be lovely because I mean, I'm assuming you did not expect that to be forthcoming. No, I don't think, we want to see more Nazi. No, I mean, I think it's actually, it's, if I'm going to be totally and completely honest, it's just us, right? Yeah. I was like, oh, this will be like a great retirement job.

Like it'll be like, it's a great job. And then I read the script and I was like, oh no, this is actually my dream job. This is such a fun take on this. I think the the, you know, I, I was satisfied with how the boys ended with Stormfront, like, I don't think she deserves to have more. But then when I read the script and how they are doing it, I was like, Oh, this is, this is great. Um, and, uh, I, I just really trust those writers. And yeah, it is a reincarnation. She, she's a hundred

years old and doesn't age though. So I don't know if she needs to be reincarnated. She just keeps going. I like, by the way, the, the most honest, uh, part of that, which makes me really truly believe the scripts are good is that you acknowledged, um acknowledged basically like you were gonna do it either way. Oh, totally. Are you kidding? As I just said, ladies in our business sometimes get kicked out and I was like, great, I have a job. I've already started pottery like all middle-aged ladies. I'm like, great, I'll just, I'll make my weird pots. You barely heard the phone from the agent

because your pottery was spinning so fast. Oh, absolutely. It takes a lot to get me out of the pottery studio at this point, to be honest. Are you really doing pottery? Yeah, I really am. When did you really start? Two and a half years ago.

Do you love it? I love it. You have your own, do you have your own wheel? No, I go to a studio and like half, it's like retired women just like gossiping. It's delightful. It's a wonderful, wonderful safe space for me. Yeah.

Where is your, is your mom still in the Bay Area? Yeah, my mom's in the Bay Area, both my parents are still in the Bay Area. I was saying we've had a great many guests who like grew up in the Bay Area. Yeah. And it does, almost all of them, I think both love it and are like,

there's a lot going on in the Bay Area right now. The Bay Area that I grew up in though was great. I grew up on 19th and Castro. I had like parades out my window. It was wonderful. And like, it 19th and Castro. I had like parades out my window. It was wonderful. And like, it was just, it was wacky. And there was just a lot that was really fun about it. And now I don't know.

I don't know what's real and what's just the stories that we tell about a place. Like people are like, oh my God, you live in New York. Are you okay? I'm like, I'm fine. Like, yeah, there my God, you live in New York. Are you okay? I'm like, I'm fine. Yeah, there's stuff, but there's stuff everywhere. The experience of New York is not the online discourse

of New York. And I feel the same about San Francisco, where it's like, yeah, there's a lot of intensity there. But I grew up, I worked at a youth hotline in high school and I worked in the Tenderloin and it was intense back then too, but it's also, I don't know, I just feel like we tell a lot of stories.

I realized that the biggest lesson I learned from actually being on The Boys was the difference between online space and real space. Like online space, people were crazy. People like threatened to kill me. And I was like, I don't fly. I'm not actually a Nazi. You know, it's terrifying. I've never had a bad interaction with a fan in real life.

It's always been lovely. And I was like, oh, that's not the real world. And I feel like the same thing about San Francisco. Like, yeah, there's some crazy stuff going on in certain places. And it's also still a city filled with people who are living their lives and living them well. I've lived in New York for 20-plus years, and I always like certain neighborhoods are way better and other

neighborhoods are worse. But like there's parts that you know when I moved here in 2001 you definitely couldn't walk through that are now filled with like high-end fashion boutiques. So it does sort of move around. And that's a bad neighborhood. So I you know. Yeah. But I also I, you know. But I also said, you know, people, I'm always like, like as much as New York's changed, it's still the most like New York of any place in the world.

It's not like someone else now is better at being New York than New York. So. Oh, I completely agree. How long have you lived East? Almost 20 years. Oh, you've been out here this whole time. Look at you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I never, I was in LA for a couple months a year

when I was on a show out there, but I never, I never moved. I'm like, I'm too weak to be in LA. I feel like if I like stayed in LA, my like value system would be totally messed up. Like you gotta be strong to be in LA. my value system would be totally messed up. You've got to be strong to be in LA. So you're morally weak. Yes. Oh, absolutely.

No, no, no. I was easily swayed. Yeah, I just feel like I would, when I go out there, I start to value things that I don't actually value because it's just a part of the culture. And not that all LA is like that, just like the business side of LA. And I have plenty of friends who are out there and it doesn't infect them in that way. They're able to like live in the LA that is great, which is like great food. And there's really interesting people everywhere.

But, you know, when you go to too many parties. Josh is a very lover of LA and a very robust, healthy, outdoorsy fella, and I feel like he would be hamstrung in New York City. Totally. Yeah, I think so. I think that's the case. Do you live in LA now? I do.

Yeah, I'm in Hollywood, and I think it's really nice, and I love my friends, and yeah. And there's also like, there's gnarly parts of LA. Some of them, you know, I can walk down to like the Chinese theater and sometimes I'll do that walk from my house and walking down sort of the length of Hollywood Boulevard is pretty rough. But I also feel like there's something important about seeing that and sort of being conscious of it and not just turning away from it. I also, I will say like, as a guy, I feel a lot safer. Like I wouldn't send my wife on that walk solo a lot of times or like her.

You should almost, even if it's nice, you should never send a spouse on a solo walk. Yeah. Just saying like, I feel like it would be a good time for you to go, even if it's a beautiful sort of pastoral setting. Oh my God, I feel the total opposite. I'm like, I send my husband out all the time.

Do you tell him, do you literally tell him like, off you go? Oh, I'm like, I'd like to be alone in the apartment today. Can you please leave? 100%. Are you kidding? That's why we've been together almost 20 years. That's amazing.

Take some space. Yeah. Where you went to, so you started in the Bay Area, you ended up in New York, and you went to school in the Midwest? Yeah. I don't know why. It's so funny. It was a very strange choice to suddenly move to Minnesota. Did you know acting at that point? Were you on that track? Yes, I definitely know node acting.

I was like, yeah, I know that. Your guidance counselor said, I think you node and I node. Yeah, I node. And you may get nodes from singing. Yes, I went to school and it was the first year of this program at the University of Minnesota with the Guthrie Theater and I had like this idea that I would, you know, this sort of like pioneering spirit, like I'm going to be the first class and we'll

shape the program. And then I remember like year three, they were like, yeah, we don't have anything planned for this year. And I was like, we all were like, no, you better plan something. We didn't just come here to like, putz around in the negative 60 degree wind chill. Um, yeah. So I went to, to Minnesota, which was actually great and a good lesson, you know, it was the 2000, uh, election that was wild. Um, and I learned a good lesson because I was, I really, you know, people think I'm joking, I really hadn't met a Republican.

And I was, I was really rude in like the common areas as the election results came in. And then I got nasty notes on my door for weeks. And instead of it being like, oh my God, these people, I went, oh yeah, fair enough. I was kind of an asshole. And like, I just didn't believe, it was kind of like, I was like, I didn't believe that even though

I was seeing results come in, I didn't know anyone as like a person who felt that way or who was voting that way. So all of a sudden I was like, oh, these are real people all around me and I've been just like trashing them. And I deserve a little, you know. That's a very, it is a very good thing to learn and better at that age certainly then. Yeah. Than now.

I also voted for Nader guys. So like a lot of lessons learned. I know some Naders. I have a lot of close friends who are Naders. Yeah. Different time, different time. You're a big seatbelt girl. Yeah, seatbelt, also I really love direct to consumer marketing for drugs. Yeah.

Because he was also responsible for that. More voices, more choices. Yeah. I think you spend, you drive, you take one drive from San Francisco to Taos in the back of a van with no seatbelt and you're like, Nader's my guy. Absolutely. It was solidified then.

And I needed a better personality and I thought Nader would be the one to- Oh, you had so much personality. Oh my God. Give me some cred. Ralph, Ralph Charisma Nader. Would you, did you take any trips around the Midwest in your time there? Not really. I went to, oh God, why am I?

I forget how to do press in terms of what I'm supposed to keep private. Anyway, we, whatever. We, I drove to Wisconsin once to like see a play and we like stopped at a strip club. And I remember that with my boyfriend and I had grown up with like San Francisco like empowerment strip clubs.

My best friend came out to me when she was 18 and she was like, you know, so I went to the strip club with women which is a very different experience. Women in San Francisco versus like a Midwest strip club with my boyfriend. And I walked in and they were like, it's free if you get on stage.

And I was like, nope, here's my five bucks. And I just remember being like, this is not, this doesn't feel good. This feels like bad in some way. And yeah, and then I never, I didn't, that's a lie. I went to a strip club after that, but not much. Not much. I was the best woman at a good friend's bachelor party.

I was so worried you were like, I was the best woman at the strip club. So I went back because I was the best and everyone agreed. Yeah. When was the first time, do you remember the first time you got on a plane? Or the first time you flew overseas? I think the first time I flew overseas

was probably in college when I did a semester abroad in England. You know, we didn't have money growing up. I know people think San Francisco is like this, like crazy expensive place. It wasn't when I was growing up. You didn't have poetry money? Yeah, you're either really rich or really poor poet.

Like you're either so rich you don't need to work or yeah, there's nothing. You didn't get one of those good union poet jobs. Poet laureate is basically the only one who makes money. Yeah, no, we didn't do a lot of plane travel. Oh, I used to go to, my grandmother taught tennis in DC. So that was like the vacation. It was my mom shipping me off to tennis camp where my grandmother taught.

Was your grandmother like a great tennis player? Yeah, yes. She won Wimbledon. She won. She won. She won. She won. She won.

Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? That is the greatest, latest reveal in the history of this podcast.

Also the hesitation, really, I have so many points for the hesitation. It was literally like you were thinking, was she good? I don't know. She didn't win it twice. Well, there's a reason why she didn't win it twice, as she would say. So she also won the US Open four times. Oh my gosh. Jesus.

What's her, what was her name? Pauline Betts Addy. Okay. Oh my gosh. And she, so she also didn't have money growing up and tennis is a very rich sport. Like she used to sleep on the beach and she ended up winning Wimbledon and then was like in conversation with this other female tennis player, this is Wimbledon and then was like in conversation with this other female tennis player, this is in the 40s,

and was like, they only got, I think she got $400 and a lease on an apartment for winning Wimbledon. It wasn't the kind of money that you get now. So she was still broke and she and this other tennis player were talking about doing a tour to make money, like exhibition games. And the tennis association got wind of it. They didn't even do it yet and they kicked her out. So she wasn't allowed to play Wimbledon again because you had to be an amateur to play Wimbledon back then. So she had to turn pro in order to make some money at it and to actually like earn a living. So she like, yeah, she was never,

she ran with a crazy crowd. She was friends with Shirley Temple. She, um, I think she dated Harpo Marx. She had like a crazy life, but she wasn't like a rich, like she had, she was sort of in this world, but not wealthy. Of, yeah. Of that world, yeah. And were you close with her? Close, close. She, I was a disappointing tennis player, I will say that.

Two-handed forehand. And she wasn't like a warm, she wasn't into kids. Like she had four, because that's what you did when you were at that time period. And she had a, she even adopted one of her kids. But she wasn't like a super motherly, grandmotherly, she didn't want to be called Grandma, so I called her Champy for champion. That was the name she requested. I mean, that tells you everything. Yeah.

If you were writing a book of fiction and there was a grandmother character who made her granddaughter call her Champy, you would feel like you know everything about her. Yeah, and she always had like coke and, and lucky charms for me, which I was very into because I wasn't, we didn't have a lot of sugar in my household as a kid. So I like as soon as I got any like lunch money, I just like bought candy. I should have gout. I have, I like didn't eat vegetables for most of my childhood and I just ate candy.

So I was very excited about her house. I will say that's a common barrier. I remember Andy Samberg, who's from Berkeley, basically said, he was late in life before he realized carob wasn't the top line candy. Carob's not even good for you. It's just terrible tasting. It's just like bad.

I think it's just trying to turn kids off a candy. Yeah. Like writ large. Or they've figured out like, we have this stuff and like dogs won't eat it if we put it in dog food. Let's tell Bay area kids, it's like, it's candy. We have it and we don't know how to get anybody to eat it. Yeah.

But then when we were consuming like massive amounts of soy, which is not great for you. It was like everything was soy all the time, milk, tofu. Champy, we had one of those as well, our mom's mom, whose first name is Addie. She was- And we called her Addie because she didn't wanna be grandma.

And she didn't like children. And she hadn't won shit, I should say. Like that's the other thing. She never won shit, so we couldn't Like that's the other thing. She never won shit. So we couldn't call her like champy or king or anything. But she also, the only children. I heard you say she never won shit. And I was like, what an interesting thing

to know about your grandmother. Never won. Never won. That's amazing. And by the way, she looked down her nose at people who did. Yeah, a lot of women say they don't and she actually never did. But she never liked, she didn't like children

who weren't her own children. So she didn't really care for us that much until we became young adults and couldn't have conversations with her. I feel like I'm maybe an Addy. I don't like children that aren't mine either and I'm not having any so. So you've really, you've kind of got all your bases covered.

Yeah, I'm like, call me when you're ready to like go vintage shopping, like we can. Come on down to the pottery shop with me and the ladies. Would you stay with Champy, or were you like sort of an overnight student, like camper at the camp? No, I stayed with Champy. She had like a little two-bedroom condo somewhere in Bethesda and I would stay with her.

And my uncles all taught tennis, so they were around too. Okay. Were they all teaching in the, like sort of under Champy's auspices? Was it a family tennis camp? Yeah, it was kind of like a family tennis camp. And I can't get in, we don't have enough time on this podcast

to get into the story of my uncle, but my uncle was a tennis teacher for many, many years and ended up like teaching a lot of very high profile people. And they, like he was sort of their, their poor friend, let's just be honest. But they would take him places like to Aspen and things and one of them, all right, I'll do it quick. One of them was like, I'm going to make sure you're taken care of. And he had him invest in his video game company. And for years, Gary would be like, you know, you got to invest in this. Like we can split the profits when it all comes to, you know, and for years,

my husband and I were like, this is insane. There's no paper trail. There's no nothing. But Gary didn't have any more of his own money to invest. So anytime he got an opportunity, he was always reaching out. And he invested his life savings into the company and for years we'd be like, oh, okay, that's money down the drain. And then the company sold a couple years ago for I think $7 billion and Gary went from teaching tennis full time in his like late 60s to becoming a multimillionaire. Wow. Gary.

Bravo, Gary. Bravo, Gary. And I invested zero dollars into that and saw nothing. Wow. I mean, it is, look, one, I would say never take investment advice from an uncle. If it's Uncle Gary, that's double red flags. And he also had like a Tom Selleck mustache

and like he was, he's like a great prototype uncle. He's a sweetie pie too. I trusted him, I just didn't trust the situation. It felt very much like I would be on Scam Goddess telling that conversation. And also another red flag for me would be like an older gentleman talking about a video game company.

It seems like, right? It's like, if an older person came to me now to talk about like, you know, Dogecoin or something, I would say, you're being scammed and this is a pyramid scheme and I don't want to add to your failures. Yeah. Good for Uncle Gary though. Yeah, great for Uncle Gary. Have you taken any trips?

Has Uncle Gary brought you any trips? Shared the largest? Uncle Gary does not, like, he's kind of like, great. I don't have to teach when I don't want to, but he still like stays at the New Yorker Hotel and brags about his 150 a night when like hotels are so expensive in New York, you know? He's just not, like, into it, which is great.

I mean, I think it's wonderful. Uncle Gary, if you're listening, donate it all when you die. Donate it all. -♪ PFFT! -♪ Um, well, this is really, you really came through. You know, I had high hopes. Just these stories. I didn't even tell you, my other vacation stories

were at monasteries, because that's where my dad would take me on vacation. Oh, yeah. You got a quick monastery story for us? I just remember I would go on vaca- my dad met my stepmom at a monastery called Tasahara, where she was in training to become a monk. We would go and you'd have to work when you were there.

So I would work in the kitchen and our vacations would be on this beautiful monastery. Then he was talking to this woman with a shaved head way too much one time. I kept being like, stop talking to that woman. Stop talking to that woman. Then he brought her home and made her his wife. Did the hair grow back? The hair grow back, she's got beautiful curly hair.

So that, I guess if you're in training to be a monk and then you meet a gentleman that's like the end of the monk game. Yeah, oh yeah, you can't, yeah. No, and he definitely like, you know, talked her into getting frisky there. Was it a silent retreat that they met at? He was breaking all the rules?

I don't think it was silent or they weren't silent in that, but either way, let's just shout apology to my whole family. How old were you when they met? Nine, eight or nine. It was around the same time that my mom and her husband got divorced on that Taoist trip. Gotcha, so they were getting divorced

and then your stepmom came into the game and she's still married to you? She's still there and they both teach Vipassana Buddhism. That's great. I wonder what the moment is when you basically meet someone in your monk training and have to go tell the brass, probably a different word than the brass, basically say, I'm out, it's not gonna happen for me. Yeah, I mean I think she was young, she was probably like 28 when it happened, so

I think you know better to know then. Oh yeah, that's too young to monk. Yeah, they're also too young to monk. It's too young to monk Monk. Yeah, they're also Too Young to Monk. It's too young. Oh, beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. When I send that script over, just put it top of your pile, okay?

I'm in. I can't really play Champy in the story of her life. She was like a very tall blonde. So, Too Young to Monk will be my breakout role. Thank you so much for joining us. This has been great. And I haven't seen you in so long. I can't believe we never crossed paths in the city.

Hopefully I'll keep my eyes out for you. All right, before you go, Josh is gonna ask you the questions all our guests asked. Okay. All right, here we go. You can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational?

Adventurous. What is your favorite means of transportation? Train, plane, automobile. Definitely train, very civilized. Yeah, train. If you could take a vacation with any family, alive or dead, real or fictional, other than your own family,

who would you like to take a family vacation with? But any family, alive or dead, real or fictional, other than your own family, who would you like to take a family vacation with? Probably Coach Taylor and his wife from Friday Night Lights. Great call. Yeah. I want them to like take me on vacation, treat me like a child, but also maybe like a little inappropriate cuddling.

I was on, my wife and I were in, we took a train trip through Switzerland. And what I remember most about that trip is every night we would watch Friday Night Lights. So it was like the most beautiful country in the world and it was still what I was like, what's the best thing to do in Zurich? Watch final episode, season five. Such a good show man. Such a yeah. I've embarrassed myself in front of all of them. Such a good show, man. I've embarrassed myself in front of all of them.

I can't keep it together. I feel like I have too. And I think that they've all, I think they may be already emotionally to move on. Yeah. And they weren't actually those people. I'm going to pull them back. Yeah, I'm going to pull them back.

I was thinking that I just got married and we were talking about, like, maybe going back and watching Friday Night Lights, like leading up to the marriage, but instead we watched Baby Reindeer, which was totally different and different vibe. Different vibe. Oh, very intense.

Yeah. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? Well, I have to say my husband. Yeah. Because he'd be upset. But can he bring the dog? Yeah, sure.

I think that's a good call. What if it was your husband or the dog? He knows this answer. Okay. And you're from San Francisco, would you recommend San Francisco as a vacation destination? 100%.

Yeah. Maybe don't stay downtown at this very moment, San Francisco is a vacation destination? 100%. Maybe don't stay downtown at this very moment, but yes, San Francisco is beautiful. I love it. I love it so much. I love how neighborhood-y it is. Yeah, it's great. And there's still some weird.

There's still some weird. And then Seth has her final questions. Aya, have you been to the Grand Canyon? I have not. Do you wanna go? I do. My friend Colby just hiked the Grand Canyon, which I am not that person, but I wanna believe,

like, and again, you know, the silent meditation retreat. I watch TV and fall asleep to podcasts, then I go away for five days without speaking, reading, writing. I feel like I have to be thrown into those things. So I feel like I would love to hike the Grand Canyon. You maybe need to be thrown into the canyon and then you don't have your way out.

I need to be thrown, yes, perfect. And this is my suicide note. I think dropped off at the bottom. If someone helicoptered you in and dropped you at the bottom and said, you gotta get out of here, then you'd have to. It's great, right? It's great.

We just went. Yeah, we just went. But we didn't do any of the grand hiking or anything. You also said that we just went in that tone of, we did not enjoy it. No. When your voice goes up a little. Yeah, we were.

I know, it was fun. I loved it, but I also don't, like I'm not, you have to go. I loved it. Is that a fair assessment, Josh? It's like a Buddhist retreat. Yeah, we were also in defense of the Grand Canyon, we were there for a fantasy football draft.

So we had our fantasy football draft on the rim of the Grand Canyon and only had really a couple hours there and it's a place that you could certainly spend over a week. And yeah, I feel like there's more to do. We scratched the surface and I'm eager to go back. Rimming the Grand Canyon for fantasy football week.

Sounds like a dream. You can see Aya in Rimming the Grand Canyon and Too Young to Monk. They're both out later this year. No, but you will be able to see her in the franchise coming out very soon. Congratulations on that. And yeah, the boys' spinoff, which is when does that come out?

Who knows? We haven't even started yet. Yeah, but it's coming. Thank you, Aya. Really lovely to see you again. Thank you. Bye. Bye. IA Cash is from San Francisco 100% says that you should go Other people say that it's their home when they're really from the Bay Used to travel straight across the land to see her mother's mother, i.e. mother grand

they worked on her fore and back hand, had coke and lucky charms I called her champion because she was an actual champion, such a champion For counting for you as Soap ends and it wimbled on Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do He told Iyer everything he knew about a ship that could come in An investment opportunity in a video game company Iyer said, you do you Gary, I'm gonna keep my cash But sure enough Gary hit the big time and now he's doing well doing so well but it's still kids very good deals on hotels