Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - BEN SCHWARTZ Was Scared of Space Mountain

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

Ben Schwartz joins Seth and Josh on the pod! He talks all about his family’s yearly Cape Cod vacation, being close with his parents, and of course, the one time he was terrified of Space Mountain. 00:00 Intro13:46 Ben Schwartz Interview23:20 Cuts Clothing Ad24:46 AirBnB Ad26:11 Ben Schwartz Interview46:58 Aura Ad48:23 BetterHelp Ad49:23 Ben Schwartz Interview Cuts ClothingFor a limited time, our listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code TRIPS  at checkout at CUTSCLOTHING.com AirbnbSupport comes from Airbnb your home might be worth more than you think find out how much more at airbnb.com/host to learn about hosting. Aura FramesVisit AuraFrames.com to get $30-off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. Use code TRIPS  at checkout to save.  Perfect for Mother's Day Gifting! BetterHelpFamily Trips is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/trips and get on your way to being your best self.  Family Trip listeners get 10% off their first month.

Hey, Poshy. Hey, Soofy. I am going to fix my hair. But I do. I've been, I'm on hiatus. I've been growing my hair. It's a little long. And I feel like, doesn't this like make,

don't you feel like a little like new wavy British singer look right now? Yeah, it's a little, I would say it's a little like Crispin Glover. It's a little river's edge. I thought it was maybe a guy who would sing like this. Like that kind of thing. A little bit, yeah. Like the Smiths. Yeah, Smiths.

Maybe more cure. Maybe a little bit. But although he was up top. Anyway, hold on. I'm gonna fix. We saw each other recently because you were in LA. I was. And you did Jimmy Kimmel Live.

And I did a little pop on there. And we took a picture, and it just reminded me, and people call me out for this as well, but when you take pictures with people, you hum to yourself. I do? Yeah. Always? I think so. I know that like makeup people, like makeup artists, I don't know what the proper term is. Makeup artists?

Yeah. And wardrobe people have often said to me that like if they're getting me ready for something, they're like, oh, you're just like your brother. You hum. Hum. And when I had my sort of arm around you and someone was taking our picture, you really are like. Now, I didn't know I did for picture. I mean, I hum all the time and it is not celebrated in the old home. Yeah.

I am often told to stop humming. There's a hard, fast rule, which is no one's allowed to have a song in their heart. In your home? Yeah, that's kind of, that's sort of the bounce I'm taking. But yeah, no, I definitely am a hummer, but it's interesting that I do it during a photo. I wouldn't be surprised.

That does sound like one of the crazy things I would do while I walk around through life thinking I'm just totally normal. I'm like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah. I also, I've got a new photo hiccup thing that I don't quite understand. But when we were in Brooklyn doing that podcast festival. Yeah, and if you want to see what the hat from that podcast festival looks like.

It's coming up. It's coming up. But we took a picture, you, me, and Sam, our producer, and I was on the end, and because I was on the end, I had my arm out as if there was another person there. Oh, extending outside

the three of us. Yeah. And that we were like, we have to take another one. And then recently I was in another like group picture and I did the same thing. And I don't know if I just like think there's like a ghost there. I just don't know what to do with that outside arm. I feel like that's something a referee would ask a boxer. And if they did it, they wouldn't be able to keep fighting.

I know there's no one there right? yeah yeah put your arm around who you think's in the picture I have a thing in picture I have to I always like just cock my head

towards where the center of the group is in photos so I'm I always sort of like I'm always and I just gotta remember like just keep your head up.

Yeah. It's like that awful cheerleader crouch thing that people still do in photos. And you're like, you don't have to do it. Yeah. So I want to go loop back to, I was basically in LA for 24 hours. I'd never done Kimmel before. Mm-hmm. I don't want to go crazy adding to the legend of how he's the nicest guy,

but he really is the nicest guy. Crazy nice guy. Crazy nice guy. I was coming on. They were going to do one of your Gavin Newsoms. They then didn't have time for it, but because they're such a solid group of people over there, they thought, well, we'll just pop.

We'll just have Josh there for a second. He can be Gavin Newsom, and we'll tease it for the next day. And they put you on rollerblades without realizing that you could properly rollerblade. And you rollerbladed across the studio. And the pressure's really on in moments like that. Yeah. The pressure was on in particular

because it's a very slick looking floor. Yeah. It's a very shiny black floor. gotten they got the rollerblades in 10 minutes before the bit or maybe like 20 minutes before the bit and i wanted to go out and sort of give it a go because they were it took that long because they had to take the time machine back to 97 yeah yeah right and the audience was already in the studio so i couldn't just go out there and like spin around and burn the bit um so they created this like little protected area where i could try it but they also said and when you're trying it back here if you hit those screens they're worth like those screens are worth more money than you

can imagine so i was terrified terrified of hitting these screens. So I kind of didn't really get a good go at it. I wish I had security camera footage of you dressed in full Kevin Newsom, just doing tiny little practice circles. Yeah. Also, I think they might have a bigger budget at Jimmy Kimmel's show

because the screens we have backstage are exactly as much as like the screens in mom and dad's windows the idea that like those screens those are the special ones yeah but I will say like I didn't I got going pretty good um on those blades and I hit the door pretty hard on the way out and as you as you leave the, there's a small little platform and then five stairs. And there were two security guys who were right through that door, ready to catch me if I went headlong

down those steps. And I appreciated that they were there, but I didn't need them. You've been doing some very funny, Gavin Newsom things on Kimmel's show. And you had done a few on our show, and they went great, but when you're actually out in L.A.

and that audience knows him as their governor, they're playing as well as they should anywhere, but you have that added bonus of people being more familiar with him. But you're going out and doing remotes, and you're just fully, people fully think they're talking to the governor, correct? It's very weird,

because I can't sort of whisper to anyone in the middle of it like I'm not really him because there's other people that are waiting to talk to the governor and I sort of can't burn myself. Right. And I've had some strange interactions, some like some slightly uncomfortable interactions. interactions. I talked to someone who did 12 years for second degree murder and thought he could have gotten out of jail a couple of years earlier, but the governor hadn't signed a piece of paper that it was apparently on his desk. And I had to ask Gavin Newsom. And the other thing is that guy, he killed a guy because he was pretending to be someone else. Right. He doesn't like that. So once you hear that, you're like, well, I'm not going to be like, I'm just pretending.

Yeah. Or like, you know, a girl in fourth grade whose mom is so eagerly standing by to get a picture, and then that girl's mom's like, she loves her U.S. government class. She knows you. You're her favorite governor. And you take a picture and just send her her off and yes send her off to go get

her f to go get her f in social studies um so yeah but it's a very strange thing to be pretending to be someone and then to interact with people who have a full-on preconceived notion of who you are and have things that they legitimately want to talk to you about. I have, sometimes I will get, because I'm out in the world, Posh, you know me. Yeah. M of the P. Do you know what that is?

Man on the... Of the people. M of the P. That's what we call it on the streets. And sometimes people will be like, hey, are you Seth Meyers? And I'll say, yeah. And they're like, all right. So it's different.

I think people think they want to confirm I'm Seth Meyers, and then there's zero curiosity or, yeah. Yeah. I took a very short family trip with Ash because on hiatus, got to chaperone my eight year old's field trip which was to take the Staten Island ferry

to Staten Island and then get off it for ten minutes and then take it back alright but I will say first of all I'd never been on the

Staten Island ferry and it was really cool yeah cool views as you would expect from a ferry in your city First of all, I'd never been on the Staten Island Ferry. And it was really cool. Yeah. Cool views, as you would expect from a ferry in New York City. And the kids, one of the things they were supposed to do is they were supposed to interview people on the Staten Island Ferry and ask them why they were going there, why they were taking the ferry.

And it was very cute to watch them with their little clipboards go up to people. And it was very cute to watch them with their little clipboards go up to people. Mostly tourists, it turns out, at around 10 a.m. on a Tuesday heading towards Staten Island. Sure. Not a lot of commuters that late in the morning leaving Manhattan to go work in Staten Island. But very cool. The other thing they had to do that felt less necessary was keep a tally of how many people were on the Staten Island Ferry. Uh-huh. There were a thousand people

on the Staten Island Ferry. But all these kids were like going like line, line, line, line, slash, line, line. And it just felt like that. Yeah. That was less interesting.

Now, Ash is classically not a great, like his penmanship is getting better. Yes. Reading, crushing reading,manship is getting better. Yes. Reading, crushing reading, I would say not, yeah. I think that's fair. You're saying it a very sweet way.

How are his line, line, line, line slashes? You know, not uniform. Okay. Not uniform. But you could group them up. If he had four of them, you'd say that's 20. Yeah, you could do that. But like could group them up. If he had four of them, you'd say, that's 20. Yeah, you could do that. But like some get super small.

Definitely. I would say it's more like, it looks less like an Excel spreadsheet and more like a bunch of bacteria in a Petri dish. Just sort of floating. But it was good. We had a really nice time. And it was cool to be able to, I also had a really,

this one's the best. I was going to go to the Bronx Botanical Garden and that was a real, because this one, I mean, again, it was probably three hours all in total. Yeah. This was like a six hour one

to the old Bronx Botanical Gardens. But you know what? I'm that kind of dad. You know that about me. That what? I'm that kind of dad. I'm D of the Y. Dad of the year?

Yeah. That's how we say it. So I signed up. Ash was so happy because usually I'm working when it's time to chaperone. And so Bronx Potato Garden signed up, got all the points, rained out. They rescheduled it.

I'm unavailable. Alexi has to go. Yeah. Full points. Don't have to go. Rained out? Yeah, you can't have a bunch of kids walking around soaking wet. What?

These kids don't have rain jackets? No umbrellas for these kids? I mean, I don't like umbrellas as a sort of... I think what's happening right now, and I want to apologize to all the parents who are listening, is that childless Josh here thinks wet kids are just as much fun to be around as dry ones, and it's a massive miscalculation on your part.

Also, umbrellas, like, yeah, they're so much fun with umbrellas. I mean, I also did just say I don't like umbrellas,

but I think you can get a rain jacket with a hood to all you parents out there who are like, I don't know what to do with my kids in the rain.

All right, that's very, that's going to endear yourself to them. How about you get some rain gear for those kids? I don't know, man.

It's fun. It's fun to be outside. I will say. In the rain. Ash, I mean, any second grade teacher, just God's work. You walk on and it's, you know, one teacher, 16 kids, and on our way out to the Staten Island Ferry. Clearly she told all of them the day before,

bring extra layers, it's cold on the ferry. And just, did you bring, where's your coat? I didn't bring one. Oh my goodness. I just heard her very calmly say,

oh my goodness, a lot. I was very, I liked it a lot. This is, I really enjoyed our conversation with our friend Ben Schwartz, who's on today. Yeah.

He kind of turned it around a little bit. He's got a bit of an interviewer's soul. Yeah. I would say similar to like to Zach Woods in that respect.

He's he had questions for us. Improvisers naturally curious. I like that. Yeah. And he I didn't ask him this

obviously I'm giving away we've already talked to him, but he's from the Bronx. He's probably been to the Bronx, particular garden. I could have just called him, put him on the phone with Ash, and never had to go. Look, you don't have to go anyhow. I don't. Yeah, I got off the hook.

All right, so please enjoy this wonderful conversation with Ben Schwartz, but first, enjoy the dulcet tones of JT. That's Jeff Tweedy. I have something so delicious to show you. Hi, Josh. Hi, buddy. I have something so delicious to show you, Seth, that I've had on my computer since I just found it. I'm very excited.

December 19th, 2004. I'm so happy because this is what I want to, I want to start talking about this era, but let's see what you got for me. I see Josh almost once every other week walking his dog. That is, I get to see him every day, but I see you through this photo because I look at it every,

anytime I see Josh, I make sure to look at this photo. Every time? Now, 2004, how young is the Ben Schwartz that I'm first meeting? Wow, thank you for lowering your voice it is that Ben Schwartz is

22 or 23 okay wow and this is no 20 years ago yeah that's crazy and this is a young man

let's see if my memory matches yours work in the door at UCB that's exactly correct you are such a very interesting sort of cast member

in a thrilling chapter of my life because I would do SNL and then I would go Sunday night, which is still so crazy to me, and go do two improvised shows. Oh my God, look at me.

Wow. That's a bad hat. What is that hat? Yeah, are we allowed to, can we share this, Ben? I don't know if this is your private collection. I mean, that in the show notes. Yeah, are we allowed to, can we share this, Ben? I know, I don't know if this is your private collection. I mean, I know it's yours. Yeah, it's fine.

I think we can get through this. Oh, it's a bad hat. But that is the way I looked back then. Everything about that is accurate. No way out. Do you still wear leather jackets or do you no longer wear leather jackets? I don't wear leather jackets anymore. I wouldn't say that the hat you're wearing right now, I wouldn't say is great either.

This is a free, we got this at a podcast festival and it was free. Right before you came on, Ben, we were talking about hair and Seth slapped that hat on. Oh, come on. You guys, by the way, who wouldn't be intimidated on a Zoom with Ben and Josh? You guys both have, both crushing it. I just got a haircut because I was interviewing someone for Paley Festival

and I didn't want to seem like, I was interviewing Colbert. You did the one right before us, I think. Yes. And I didn't want it to look like disrespectful because my hair was so bad.

It was like, I looked insane. So I got a haircut right before then. Be honest, and I say this as a dear friend of Colbert's. If you were doing my panel, would you have had that same disrespect shame or is it because he sort of seems like an elder statesman

that you felt like? If I was doing your panel, I would have made my shit so big. I would have come out there bouffant and all. I would have led with it like a rhinoceros when they lead going towards some sort of version of prey. Well, I can only assure you, you still would have been more professional

than Sandberg was when he moderated my panel. Sandberg at one point asked me a question about a closer look at this Paley Festival panel, and when I finished, he said, I told to the audience, he said, I told, to the audience, he said, I told you it would be boring.

Which he hadn't said. No. I got a quick question, Ben. Josh, I can't wait. Talking hair. So you got some height, some length. Do you know,

like when you get a haircut, do you say cut it to like five inches long and they pull it up and they measure it? Or do you have someone who knows exactly where you want it? I bet that when I first came here, I did a movie called,

uh, I did a movie called peep world, which was not peep world. They have people. No people. After people, there's a movie called coffee town. And the person who did my hair for that 12 years ago,

I was like, Hey, do you cut hair? I don't know anybody in LA. Do you mind if who did my hair for that 12 years ago i was like hey do you cut hair i don't know anybody in la do you mind if you cut my hair and so i've been using the same person since i moved here but i will say which you guys will both appreciate um uh you know in new york i didn't have anybody cut my hair i would cut my own hair and buzz it because in college that's what i did and whatever i moved to la i didn't know anybody to cut my hair and my hair got really big for the first time in my life and i audition auditioned for Mitch Hurwitz for a TV show.

And I did the audition and I got a call back and I said, listen, I'm gonna cut my hair for the call back. And he goes, don't you dare. He goes, that's part of this whole thing. We need you to have that hair. And from that moment on, I kept my hair big and that's probably half the reason that Park's character works.

And so because of him, I stopped cutting my hair like really short with buzzing and stuff like that. He's very smart. It's a great head of hair and you do use it. I feel like it has been a nice assist to some of your finer characters. Yeah, I lead with it, yeah. I recently just got served that great Jean-Ralphio video

where you get a job, interview and quit, and basically the walk around the office. Oh, yeah, the one shot. Or you get fired around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you literally, I enter, a Mike Schur special, I enter and exit in the same, I get hired and fired within the same 45-second tag or something like that.

That's really perfect. That's perfectly performed. But you were, so you were a young man working the door at UCB. Yes. And I recall of you, and I believe it to still be true today, I certainly see it on screen today, you were such a good, enthusiastic vibe. And I was always sort of dragging ass over to UCB,

and you at the door, you were everything an improv theater should have when you walk through the front, which was an energy that I think everybody felt when they came through the front, which was an energy that I think everybody felt when they came through, of like, ah, it's going to be a good time tonight. That makes me so happy.

I feel like Josh has that energy too, by the way. Don't you think, your brother? I feel like anytime I see Josh, he's always so happy and excited and kind and like down for bits and anything. But I was like,

yes, I also was, you have to understand this. I was a fan of comedy and i was interning for free classes so i can afford them that's why i was interning there and they put me at ask cat which for people who don't know was uh uh amy poehler ian roberts matt besser matt walsh and then seth would come weekly rachel drash would come tina fey would come like uh alec bald Baldwin would be there sometimes. Mick Brayer started coming.

Oh my God, Mick Brayer, Brian Husky, Seth Morris. It was like John Glazer every now and then, who I think is a genius. It would be the funniest people in the world, and it felt like we were in the funniest place in the world, and it was underneath the supermarket, and I couldn't believe, and nobody gets paid. Everybody's doing it because they want to be there and they love comedy and you guys had just worked every minute of the day from tuesday to freaking saturday night to like three

it was the coolest thing in the world for someone coming up in comedy and watching you guys get on stage for free and do that after you've done your thing it was i loved it it was exactly who i want to be around. And the funniest thing is, I was an intern there doing the garbage and helping with stuff. When you guys left, I would ask Chuck Dobble, who passed away, unfortunately, but he was the best. He was the manager at the time.

And me and I had a sketch group that was me, Adam Pally and Gil Ozeri. And it was called Hot Sauce. And they would come down and we would beg him to let us just, after we're done with the garbage, step on the stage and improvise for nobody

for 10 minutes. After you guys, because then we get to be on the same stage that you guys just did it and watch Slay and we would improvise and we make each other laugh

and it was some of my favorite moments in my career. I loved that time in my life so much. And I was, nobody knew who I was. Like I was hustling so hard and it was some of my favorite comedic moments of my life. It is, I think the very fact that you mentioned

that it wasn't just working the door and glad handing, you were also hauling trash out of that terrible basement. And there was a bag filled with shit that would leak on the stage. I would have to change it. I would have to get you guys pizza.

But also, everybody's so cool back there. I'd come back with pizza or a thing. Everybody's hello. Everybody would talk to me. I'd get to go to McManus with you guys afterwards. It was the most, weirdly, being on SNL felt less rock and roll than I thought it would. And then doing ASCAP felt like those weird black and white pictures. Polar has a lot of that era,

those look like the pictures in the Beastie Boys book. Yes. You know, bad couches, pizza boxes, but everybody always laughing, good hang. I also do because I don't want to just rush by a bag of shit. There was like a pipe above the stage that leaked and the best solution was not to fix the pipe. I'm sure they tried that.

But there was just like a plastic bag that would slowly fill over the course of an improv show. And we found out what it was before we left. It was that the butcher area of the supermarket was above the stage, so the shit and the blood from like butchering meat or whatever it was would leak in the pipe, and we never got it fixed so we would have to replace it and every now and then the bag would pop on stage when someone had a show and it was like in our head we thought it was like oh dirty water it was like diseased it

was like that's what that that whole theater was that though like any part of that theater back then was like we have a problem does anybody know how to fix it And like some random person who doesn't have a skillset in that thing would then try to fix it because it was like everybody helping each other. I remember when Matt Walsh moved apartments, I like helped move his stuff. And I was like, what is happening? I don't understand what this place is.

I will say it did look, every solution did look like a comedian with no tradesman skills had done it yes like it's a bag that's gonna pop every fifth show is not like yeah yeah yeah there was a craftsman didn't come in with a skill set and fix something like someone who just did a scene as like a walrus blowing a magician is like oh i got this i'll fix this problem hey we're gonna take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors family trips isps is supported by Cuts Clothing. Hey, Bajie.

Yes, Sufi. Do you know what I'm wearing right now? A t-shirt? Yeah, guess what? Guess what brand? Oh, that's Cuts Clothing. That's Cuts. And it's my first Cuts.

And I'm very happy to say I'm a big fan of Cuts so far. Yeah, I mean, it is high quality, wrinkle-free. Their t-shirts are so buttery soft that you can look like you're dressing up even when you're dressing down. Yeah, you heard that. Wrinkle-free. Wrinkle-free, Suf. No wrinkles. And you know, Posh, you've known me for a long time.

In the wrong shirt, I'm Wrinkle City. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's embarrassing. I also like cuts because that's, as you know, that's what I've always called my muscles. Yep. My cuts. And I've always said things like, oh, bad news about my cuts. But the good news about Cuts the T-shirt is for a limited time, our listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code TRIPS at checkout.

At CutsClothing.com, that's 20% off your order at CutsClothing.com with promo code TRIPS at checkout. At CutsClothing.com that's 20% off your order at CutsClothing.com with promo code TRIPS. Please support our show and tell them we sent you experience the perfect blend of style and comfort with Cuts Clothing. Cuts doesn't just make t-shirts, they also make joggers that look way better than your khakis and are a thousand times

more comfortable. All their clothing is as comfortable as athleisure but fashionable enough to wear to work. Family Trips is sponsored by Airbnb. Hey, Bashi. Yeah, Sufi. You know my in-law's home. It's a beautiful home. Oh, gorgeous. So cozy and comfortable.

Cozy, comfortable, and they're thinking about selling it. No. Yeah. And so my wife, my sister-in-law, my brother-in-law, they don't want them to get rid of it. And they said, why don't you consider it as an Airbnb? They're traveling a lot in their retirement. They're enjoying the world. But don't give up a beautiful home. Let that beautiful home be an Airbnb.

Make money while you're gone and do not lose a house that your children are desperate to inherit. I think people worry about, is this going to be too much work? And it's not too much work. If you've made your house into a lovely place to be, then someone's going to Airbnb it and they're going to be delighted to be there and they will be lovely, nice guests. I mean, mom and dad often will come to stay with me and that's fine,

but I'd rather they Airbnb our home. See a shrine to Josh Myers and one solitary photo of me. That's what you'd be getting if you Airbnb'd their house and you know it's true. Yeah, and again, another comfy, cozy house that anyone would be delighted to be spending some time in.

And remember, you don't have to Airbnb your whole house. It could be a guest house. It could be a spare room. There's a ton of options. Your home might be worth more than you think.

Find out how much more at airbnb.com slash host. So you grew up in the Bronx? I grew up in the North Bronx in Riverdale. My parents are from the South Bronx, like 176 and Grand Ave. Did they miss the South Bronx when you were growing up? Were they like, oh, we... We got teased

that it wasn't the real Bronx. We're so close to Westchester. We're in Riverdale. It was so close to Westchester. And my dad and my mom grew up with no money and we got to be middle class. So I remember when I went,

I moved to Westchester when I was 11 after Riverdale. And people are like, what was the Bronx like? Did you ever get shot or something like that? I was like, no, there's like a lot of Jewish people and a bunch of Asian people over there.

And they're like, I don't think you're in the Bronx. I was like, maybe not, maybe not. I was like at the top, at the top part. Did your parents have the vibe when you were growing up in the North Bronx of we got out?

My parents, and to this day, my dad still wears like a Bronx sweatshirt. Like he doesn't mess around with his Bronx. And to be fair, he shouldn't. He was a social worker there. He was the director of the YMHA in the Bronx. And my mom was a Bronx school teacher for 50 years.

They really represented that city really well. And they're very proud of it. And I'm proud to be part of the North Bronx. It's just like, I can't go up to like a real, like I'm assuming Rosie Perez is from the Bronx. That's just me going off an accent. Yeah. I can't go up to her and be like,

you and I, baby, same place, baby. I could be like, you and I, baby, 15 minute walk,

baby, or something like that. It is crazy. That speaks to New York that a 15 minute walk is all of a sudden you have literally walked away from the cred of the Bronx to even 15 minute drive. Yeah, but I loved it. It was great. I went to all public schools. My mom went to PS 24 and then went to public school in Westchester.

But obviously the Westchester public schools were very different. Were you saying your mom was your mom, your teacher? She was my music teacher. teacher she was my music teacher and um um i wasn't allowed to be in an elite in any of the things because it was considered nepotism so i wasn't allowed to i mean in the in in the school system i went to there was way too many kids per class i mean so many so there wasn't like oliver there was seven olivers but i couldn't even be one of the seven olivers you know what i mean like something like that so it was like um so that was that but it was it was very interesting like my mom teaching me what did your parents do what are your guys parents our mom was a teacher and she was our

french teacher she taught both of us is your mom french no no um what's your mom's maiden name olsen swedish but she looked, by the way, she looked nepotism rules right in the eyes. And I remember she gave out, every year she would give out the French award for the best French student, fully gave it to Josh. Is that true? The worst look.

And to this day, she claims he deserves it. And I'm like, whoever was second should have got it, mom. Do you think that Josh is younger? Yeah, two years younger. Was Josh always treated like the baby? Do you feel like Josh got off easy and got the softer end of everything? Yeah. Always.

You didn't have it that hard. If you want to play a violin, go for it. I mean, it felt like a work camp compared to how good luck you had. Were you jealous of Josh growing up? No. That's a great question. I was you jealous of Josh growing up? No, that's a great question. I was not jealous of Josh. I did think, I remember once the famous,

my dad just laying it out for me as we went to the beach, Atlantic Ocean, freezing cold. I didn't want to go in. Josh didn't want to go in. My dad picked me up, threw me in the water. And then I said, are you going to pick up Josh and throw him in the water?

And he said, nah, he'd just cry and ruin the day. I mean, one thing about being the baby is you have to be the baby. You have to. That's how you get the advantages. You have a role to play. Oh, I see. So you were teaching us life lessons. Oh, man, I could turn on those waterworks.

No one's throwing me in that water. Your sister, older or younger, Ben? Older, three years older. Okay. Were you guys close? Sister, three years older okay were you guys close close close uh very close my parents very close with my dad i talked to my dad my dad is like my uh best friend where i still if anything happens in my life good or bad i i will tell my dad first usually that's true for i think both of us certainly true for me do you think that your mom gets bumped that you lean on your dad or no?

No, because she doesn't love talking on the phone. And I don't either. I feel like definitely you and dad, Seth, talk on the phone much more than I talk to either of them. Is this a big way for you guys to stay in touch or you guys talk all the time? We talk more now than we

have ever talked. Yeah. I love that. This was the famous one, though, is I told my mom, just because she answered the phone, I told my mom first about SNL, because I found out. And I remember I called her, and she answered the phone, and I said, I got it. You know, she obviously knew I had a audition. And my mom's reaction, which I'll never forget,

was, no fucking way that's what she said and then I told her you can't tell dad you have to let me tell dad and you know he was at work and I wouldn't know when he was getting home

and I was gonna call him and cause I don't even think it was you know it was 01 I bet dad didn't have a cell phone right

probably had to wait till he was home and so car phone maybe he got home maybe got home and I remember I told I called he I remember I told, I called,

I called and I told him, I go, I got it. And he goes, oh my God, you want to tell mom? And I said, I already told her. He goes, I can't believe she kept a secret. That immediately became more shocking to him than I had gotten SNL. Your news didn't matter anymore. He's like, I can't believe it

that she kept a secret. So he was very proud of her. Do you remember where you were? I have very deep memories of two different roles that I got and how I found out I got them. Do you remember the exact? And also I have this thing.

I have a piece of this in something I wrote that when I'm in like a moment, like I remember there was like a moment where a breakup was happening with me and somebody. And I was, I like was looking at the intricacies of so many things in the room. I noticed a crack on the ceiling

that I never noticed was there. Like you're, I don't think I was trying to escape the moment, but it's like, I remember exact, like the thing I did when I got up my first big, big show. And I remember where I was when I got Sonic as well, which was, for me, a very big deal, but it was like, do you remember where you were? Does Lorne Michaels call you?

No, Marcy must call you. Not even Marcy. I remember I was subletting in Brentwood, I remember, and I just remember. It was already going real good. So I remembered exactly the little, I mean, I remember. It was already going real good. No, but I, so I remembered exactly the little, I mean, I remember the name of the street, but if I drove down, I'd be like, this is it.

This is exactly where I was, where I had to pull over the car. I got a call from. Rich Prick Drive. It was Rich Prick Drive. You were on RPD? Circle. I think it was Rich Prick Circle, which is at the end of Drive,

because you have to double back. It's definitely, obviously, it's a cul-de-sac. But the crazy thing was I had flown out audition, flown back to LA, flown out two days later to meet with Lauren. Lauren had been,

Lauren was supposed to tell me I had been hired. And then I flew back. When you came back two days later? Let's talk about Lauren more. Let me, this was a question I was asked by our guest Josh

I also want to know if Josh auditioned for SNL which you probably know and I don't care it's fine I was on MADtv

I know you were go on let's get through this though no but I was just going to say I got a call from my agent at the time

and I had only very briefly had this agent because I had moved out to LA. Were you with her as well? I don't want to say her name. Josh, did you sign with them as well? I don't know. I'll say it and beep it out.

No. Okay. So I had recently just signed with this agent. Everything that had led to the SNL audition had sort of started in Chicago. It was completely independent of this sort of middle tier agency where that sign, was very kind to sign

a young Chicago improviser. But it happened independent of her. But they called her and she called me and I remember she was crying so hard and happiness. And I did have this moment of like, oh, we're not going to stay together.

Because, you know, she was too proud for someone I'd just met. Right, right, right. You didn't do anything for this one. Yeah, and I was like, this is very sweet, but this probably won't last long. Wait, is the Mad TV audition similar

where you have to do three characters, three impressions, or is the Mad TV like you get in a room with Katie Dippel to make her laugh? No, it was the same kind of deal. What were your impressions, Josh? McConaughey, Owen

Wilson, and I forget who the third would have been. His third impression was a guy who hated Lorne Michael Storks. Yeah, despised. What were your impressions, Seth? Mine? Josh, I'm your family. Do you remember my three impressions?

Definitely Hugh Grant. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense to me. And, yeah, I don't know. David Arquette. Okay. Believe it or not. Oh, wow.

And Russell Crowe. And then I tried to do, we're talking about irony. I tried to do Russell Crowe as a talk show host, a humorless talk show host, who would bomb and then scream, are you not entertained? And I tried to do Russell Crowe as a talk show host, a humorless talk show host, who would bomb and then scream, are you not entertained? And I tried to do it at SNL.

And I remember Shoemaker said, you're never going to play Russell Crowe on TV. And I said, why not? And he said, it would take two of your necks to make one of his necks. And he said that you can do, there's the one thing you can't do with makeup is double a neck.

So that was. And of course your famous Bill Cosby impression which got you SNL. And you know what? Everybody says it ages badly but it doesn't. No. Fine wine. Seth Meyers doing Cosby is a fine wine.

Can we please... Can we please stop talking about the sketch comedy that Seth did? Yeah, man. Let's talk about Boom Chicago. Let's talk, anyway. Let's talk about Boom Chicago. Let's talk about Amsterdam. Let's talk about your family. Let's talk about Josh walking his dog. Your family.

Let's talk about my family. Can you tell me which one of your parents has, do either of them have like a Bronx accent? Yes. My mom has a very thick Bronx Jewish accent. Will you do what that sounds like for us? Be as cartoonish as you'd like. I could bring up a voicemail probably. Unless it's.

I would like that. We should do a voicemail probably. Unless it's... I would like that. We should do more voicemails from parents with accents. I don't know what she's saying though. It's 22 seconds. It may be something serious. That's cool. You can give us... You have the right to edit afterwards.

Okay, wait. Let me listen to one. Let me listen to one. You take a minute. Let me listen over here. Just in case she goes... And whatever you do, don't talk to those fucking Meyer boys.

She would drop the S on Myers. She would. She would do that. You got this free hat too. I know you were sort of giving me shade, but just remember you got one. Yeah. The socks from that festival I wear,

but the hat. I don't think I looked at the hat. Yeah. Oh, this one is very good. Some of these are just... Some of these are absolute A-sides. Some of these are B-sides. Some of these are absolute...

Alright, I'll just play a fucking random one. Of course it's 3.35 and your father wants to know where we're having dinner, but I can't even think about it. And I don't know if we finished our conversation.

We were talking about how- All right, I don't even know where that's going. I'm going to stop. That was a dream. It's 3.35. And your dad wants to know where we're having dinner.

I can't even think about it. I can't even think about it. Perfect. I mean, if you had asked perfect I mean if you had asked again if you had asked someone to improvise Ben's mom's voicemail that would have been

perfect writing what if I told you that was AI and I just put in Jewish mother voicemail do me a favor Jewish mother voicemail yes

so did you did you then have because your parents grew up so nearby where you guys grew up did you see grandparents a lot? No, I had, so my mom's mom passed away when she was young. My mom's dad passed away when I was three or four.

But I do have one memory of him. His name was Murray. He used to do this magic trick where he would take a coin from my ear, which now sounds very ordinary, but as a kid. You kidding me? My God, of course. I have sincere memories of him doing that. Like I can see, I can still feel it the way it did.

And then my dad's parents, my, I didn't really get to have a lot of grandparent stuff. I had like my dad's father for a little bit and then my dad's mother, but she lived in Florida till I was like, I bet 15, 16, but basically one grandparent, one or two grandparents is kind of what I, what I had. So I didn't get as much of that grandparent thing, but we were so close with our parents that whatever, but I feel like you guys, do you guys have like sincere, amazing, like

did you go on vacations with your grandparents and your parents? No. Occasionally our dad's mom would like but she like tagged along yeah and it was like yeah it we definitely spent more time with her because of that but you know she'd come and stay at the house and uh our mom's mom lived about an hour away so she would come up occasionally but we would more likely go down and visit her for a day or a couple nights yes Yes, we had, our aunts were right in our door. So one of our aunts lived in Manhattan and one of our aunts lived an hour ahead.

So anytime we have a family thing or if it's Passover or if it's a birthday, both aunts will come over, an uncle will come over and my family. But when we went on vacations, it was the four of us. It was my sister, me, my dad, and my mom. And also yesterday, I literally emailed them and was like, hey, I'm doing this.

I'm doing the Myers podcast tomorrow and it's about family, like vacations. I was like, can you guys remember specific places we've been? Because I only remember moments and sometimes don't even remember the city we were in that the moment happened. And they gave me like a list of places

that I 100% don't remember ever going to. By the way, we shout out to all of our guests who do the two email family who do the work. They do. Josh, let me tell you,

Josh loves it. And you know, who loves it the most? Larry Myers, our dad, Larry Myers has to love it. Right. When he says,

when he, when a guest puts a little bit of legwork into their own memories, he's real impressed. I got a list. And also, my parents are so excited to be a part of... I remember I did a show a couple weeks ago, and I interviewed someone in the audience,

and they were talking about dad and how dads love maps. And my dad was in the audience. My mom and dad were in the audience. And I go, my dad is here, and he loves maps. And he got to say something. My dad does not like attention my mom loves attention my mom is like the goofy like she loves it she wants all of it like she like um like she needs to take a picture with Hugh Jackman she needs to and my dad is like will not go near him he doesn't want to bother him it's

like very different um but I got to talk to him and in the audience and they got to like say something and got to see like them get like a cheer. It was so cute. It was so cute. That's great. I like that your dad's like, I don't like attention, but if it's about maps,

I'm going to let him put myself out there. Yeah, my dad gets to show off. My dad gets to show off that he uses maps. Our mother condescendingly refers to our father as Mr. Map. Because usually when Mr. Map's doing something,

it's taking too long and we could just, I'm sure we could find it on our own, but Mr. Map wants to look it up. Does Mr. Map feel obsolete now that everybody has maps here and we don't have to learn about anything? There's no, I think there's almost nothing that could happen with technology

for my mom to retire. Nickname she's used for the last 40 years about my dad. Yeah. Right. Like Dr. Abacus is still around. Exactly. Would you ever go into Manhattan to see that aunt who lived in Manhattan? Yes.

Is that a big thing? Huge thing. Especially because going to Manhattan was a big thing. So my mom's a music teacher. Going to musicals was a huge thing. I love going to Manhattan was a big thing. So my mom's a music teacher. Going to musicals was a huge thing. I love going to musicals. And then I remember one time we were leaving a musical and someone was being very aggressive with my aunt. Not hitting on her, being weirdly like, we got in a cab and he was pulling the cab.

I remember this as a kid. He was pulling the cab door being like, get out of there. And two kids were there. Me and my sister were in there he was like pulling the cab i remember this as a kid he was pulling the cab door being like get out of there and we two kids were there me and my sister were in there and she took the cab door and went bah and like got and like hit him with the cab door and he went back and sat down and she's totally good go go go and the guy went and like i'm like and she goes she goes this is a good lesson she goes a cab door can be a weapon as well. I'll never forget that. But like going to her apartment was so exciting because there was like such hustle and bustle. And like you step outside in all Manhattan.

Manhattan felt very scary to me because when I got my license, trying to drive down there when you're first starting to drive is like really scary. And you know, like, so I usually always took, I love trains and subways. So I just did that all the time. But it felt scary until I was old enough and lived down there and stuff like that.

It's so interesting because I would have assumed somebody in the Bronx, Manhattan, would lose all its allure. But it sounds like it was exactly as thrilling to you as it was for Josh and I being suburban New Hampshire kids who would go there for shows. Yeah, it was so exciting to get down. Because also, we would only go down if it's special. It's like a special treat. You know, like, we're going to go to see a musical. We're going to go see something. We're going to go see the tree.

We're going to see, like, I remember in Christmas, my mom really liked seeing, like, the Macy's windows or something like that. So it's like, those type of things were so fun. And then it becomes, you know, then you get older. And I still feel like it's exciting. I feel like, do you guys live? No, Seth, you don't you live in manhattan or no yeah yeah we live in manhattan we live downtown did you guys was it like a lot

of laughs like when the your family would like go check out the macy's day windows were you entertaining one another i feel like we made each other laugh my mom being goofy my dad being witty he has a lot of dad jokes, but he was like the, he was more the cerebral, like, uh, like his jokes were type like that. My mom would just be kind of like goofy.

You know what I mean? Like, you know, she, you know, like it's, she would, she would say something.

I'm like, what, what? I'm inappropriate sometimes like that type of thing. Like, all right, my mom, mom,

come on. Um, um, and my sister was funny, but I feel like i was kind of the goofy i feel like when i was in high school i learned that if i could be funny i can make friends like i moved from the bronx to westchester when i was 11 so it was like fifth sixth grade so then like the real high school was starting and i didn't know anybody and it was really scary and i remember i would do this thing where i haven't thought about this in years. I would take my hand and put it in the opposite arm sleeve like this. And I would call myself Mr. Genius.

And I'd go around telling people that I'm Mr. Genius or something like that. And like, I could, like, I don't know if I could answer their questions or whatever. And it made someone laugh. And all of a sudden I realized that like, I was so nervous to talk to people, but if I can make them laugh, maybe I could like slowly make some friends in this place where I was in a whole new place and didn't know anybody. I'm terrified that when my mom hears this podcast, she's going to start calling dad, Mr.

Genius. Mr. Maps, Mr. Genius. Do they listen to all the podcasts? Do they like tell you afterwards that I like that guest or I don't like that guest?

Yeah, they do. Who have they hated the most? I can't tell you because it would hurt their feelings. Josh is the baby. Josh, who have they hated most? Yeah, I can't. I'm not going to do it.

I'm not going to do it. Unbelievable. Barack Obama? That's insane, Josh. They listen. Occasionally, they'll go on short road trips, and they don't like to listen at home, and most of the places they go are within 10 to 15 minutes of home. So they listen when they have somewhere to drive.

Like they might be going to see Seth and his family for a weekend in Connecticut. And they'll just binge them. So they had a trip recently. And they were five behind. And my dad was like, hey, we've got a trip. What order should I listen to them in? And I was like, do you want to know because you want to listen to the ones you're going to like more first? And then like have three that you're going to be nonplussed with in a row.

And I gave him the order and he was like, perfect, thanks. But it made me say like, well, you're not going to like this person and you're not going to like this person. We know now what he does and doesn't like. Also, when this started, my dad also said to Josh, hey, now that I'm listening to this one, what can make me a list of other podcasts? Like, we opened the, this was a gateway drug to other podcasts.

And what did you recommend? I mean, they had already listened to Serial. I mean, that's very different than your podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's things that I listen to. If you like this podcast, you don't immediately go to murder mysteries. Well, we didn't want to find something too close where they're like, we started listening.

They'll never listen. They'll never listen. We're out of Family Trips. Yeah, Slow Burn. I was a big Slow Burn fan. Yeah, there you go. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Family Trips is supported by Aura Frames. Mother's Day, Pashi. It's coming up. People need to get gifts for the mothers in their

lives. I think the perfect gift, everyone would agree. That's going to be helpful. Yeah, is an Aura Frame. These are beautiful Wi-Fi connected digital picture frames that allow you to share and display unlimited photos. And it's also very helpful because you can preload them. So if you have a mother in your life, like Pashi and I do, who isn't good at loading, unloading, anything that requires a digital element, you can do it for them. You know, you can preload these frames, but also once your mom has this frame, you can upload pictures via the Aura app. So you can keep giving fresh pictures,

new pictures to the mom in your life, the grandmother in your life, aunt, friend. Your mom isn't the only mom out there. Lots of people are moms. Fascinating insight. You can also just slide in a really, really scary one just to spook the shit out of them. Right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $30 off, plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. That's A-U-R-A frames.com.

Use code TRIPS at checkout to save terms and conditions. Apply. Our show is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you really want to put family dynamics to the test, just take a trip together. Something magical happens when you and your family are in close proximity in unfamiliar territory nonstop for a week or so at a time. And by magical, he means absolutely bonkers. We've both experienced it firsthand.

We've seen our parents turn against each other in some of the most beautiful locations we've been lucky enough to visit. And that's when therapy can help. It's a great way to talk through and work out family issues that might be impacting you. And BetterHelp is a great way to experience the benefits of therapy. It's entirely online. Designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. And it's more affordable than in-person therapy. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to be matched with a licensed therapist and switch at any time if you don't think the fit is right

for you. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Visit betterhelp.com slash trips today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash trips. What about airplane trips? Did the Schwartzes ever jump on an airplane? You know what's so funny, and I'm finding this out now, my mom and my dad, they didn't have any money growing up, but my mom and my dad have, I mean, I think they've been to Europe once in their lives,

and I think it was recently. Like, that wasn't, they didn't have any money, so they would drive, so they would go to like, God, where's the place that all the comedians back in the day, Berkshires, they were like the Berkshires and stuff like that. And then come back down. We go to Vermont.

So we passed by your state to get to the upside down state is what you call it. What do you call Vermont? The upside down state. Um, and so like, uh, we would, we would do,

they would do that. So them traveling with us is really their first time traveling. I don't think my dad's still ever been in first time traveling. I don't think my dad's still ever been in my parent or I don't think my dad's ever been to England still. And I don't think he has a big desire. Like I it's funny. It's like, to me, when I, I left the country for the first time, when I was in college, I did my term abroad in Ireland and I was like, Oh, Oh, I gotta, I gotta go to more places. I gotta see more things. And I don't think my dad feels that as much. He's happy being home.

He likes his creature comforts. He likes watching his Yankee games. He watches his Knicks games. He likes to know where everything is kind of. But my mom, I think, would be a little bit more out there. But for us, our vacations were like, the two stories I remember the most were we went to San Diego once

and we went to SeaWorld, which I'm sure is terrible now if we really think about what that place is. But a big, also growing up, oh, there was, oh my God, I just thought of another one. But the growing up moment was, I guess I wore hats that were a bit big and my ears, I guess, looked bigger when I was a kid. So I used to tuck my ears in my hat. So I would put my ears underneath my hat and walk around like that. My dad's like, you look so, what are you doing?

And I was like, I don't know. It just feels more comfortable. If I push it down, it hurts my ears. Just take your ears out of your hat. I go, come on, don't. He goes, take your ears out of your hat. I go, okay, fine. Take my ears out of my hat.

And no joke, 10 seconds later, a seagull shits on my hat and my ear. On the ear that I literally just let out and i look i look at him like ah and he goes you can put him back in it was like a great moment it was a great moment it was such a wonderful moment but another by the way and i i would love to hear a version of this for you this was one of the first times where one of my parents said, let him do it. Someone said, don't do it. Let him do it.

We were sitting, we were in a hotel and that's like where those hotels had like HBO and Predator was coming on. And I was too young for Predator. I, I, I was, it was, and my mom's like, uh, I was like, my dad's like Predator's on and I'm sitting on the floor with my back against the queen size bed where my parents, I can feel, I literally remember this and I'm watching it. And I was like, oh, can I watch? And my mom's like, I'm a really big scaredy cat. I'm not good with scary movies. And he's like, she's like, you'll get nightmares. You'll never be able to go to sleep. You shouldn't watch it.

And my dad's like, oh, just let them watch it, Joan. Let them watch it. And she's like, really? He's like, let them watch it. And I go watch it i go yes traumatized for the rest of my life but it was that moment of hearing one family member be like all right let him do this adult thing do you guys have any moments of that where you remember a family member being like you can do this adult thing for the first time i don't this is not really an adult thing but i don't know if we've told the flan story on here, but we were at some restaurant. Flan exclusive, Flan exclusive. We were in like the Southwest somehow.

I don't know if we were like in Santa Fe to see Uncle Billy. I don't think that's true. I think we were in like a restaurant in Boston, the Flan story. Okay, so we're in a restaurant. Larry, get Larry on the phone. Pop him on the podcast. We'd love to have him on. So would he.

We're at a restaurant. We're looking at the dessert menu. And I say, what's flan? And my mom says, you don't like flan. And was it mom that said? Yeah. Mom said, you don't like it. You don't like flan.

And my dad was like, let him get it. Let him get the, and we, no one corrected us to flan through this whole story. And my dad's like, let him get it. Let him get the, and no one corrected us to flan through this whole story. And my dad's like, let him order the flan. And so we order this flan and we don't like it. And my mom felt so vindicated. She was so delighted that we didn't like it. And then we were both like, yeah, we don't like flan.

And my mom's like, see, Larry? Yeah. It was a real victory for her. But my dad was very upset because I think my dad is way more adventurous than our mom. And so he would love the idea of his kids wanting to try new things. And he didn't like the idea that mom would just decide we shouldn't be

adventurous. Oh, would you say that was, I think that was just like, let him try the flan. Yeah. Like, let him try the flan. Yeah. I think the bigger issue is then we went

the next like 15 years calling it flan. Like a lot of fancy parties. Seems like you haven't learned a thing. with a lot of Spanish royalty and just, I think they came around

just to laugh. I will say the more, I mean, saying flan doesn't get you in anyone's good graces. No. It's just, it's a douchey name of a dessert.

I'm rooting for you. When you say flan, I'm rooting for you to get better. You know what I mean? The good thing that we should stress is it is a shitty dessert and you shouldn't get it. I don't think I eat flan. Here's the worst one for me as far as when you learn the wrong thing from a parent. We were a little bit older than you, Ben, and so we were a real catalog family. We had a lot of catalogs showing up

at our house. What does that mean? Oh, like catalogs coming in? Yeah, like clothing catalogs. Not like East Bay. I used to get East Bay to look at basketball sneakers. You're talking about like actual... No, these are like moms. And Tommy Hilfiger, we used to get Tommy Hilfiger. My dad wore a lot of Tommy Hilfiger. My mom called it Tommy Hilfinger.

And I 100% thought that's what it was. Till I was 34 years old. Oh my God. And about to host a charity event for Tommy Hilfiger. And I wrote my script and showed it to Mike Shoemaker. And he goes, this is all really great. Why are you spelling it Tommy Hillfinger and I was like

what's that he goes there's no N and I was like what and I couldn't believe it it was like

again I'd seen it my whole life like I'd seen that there wasn't it wasn't spelled finger it's not like a silent N it's like the Berenstain Bears thing

what's the Berenstain Bears thing that like everybody thinks the books Berenstain Bears are called like written something else or I forget what it is there's like a huge thing about the Berenstain Bears thing. What's the Berenstain Bears thing that like everybody thinks the books Berenstain Bears are called like written something else or I forget what it is. There's like a huge thing

about the Berenstain Bears. Yeah, I know. And now I don't remember it, but it is like that. And so, and then I even went up there and I had to, I was now looking

at the word spelled correctly and it looked terrible. It looked like it made no sense. It looked like no. And every time I said it, I would like put a question mark on it. Like we're here to honor Tommy Hilfiger. That's what we're going to go by now.

My mom pronounces everything incorrectly. That's why I said Meyer. She literally anything, she just gets it a little bit off. She never gets the correct thing. I mean, there's a count. I can't think of one now, but it's literally, even when they were just over this week and there were, it was, it's just what it is.

And it's almost like you don't even, there's no point in correcting anymore. That's what it is. You just have to learn how to speak her language. It's the best. I love it. It's the best. Yeah. It's the best. When I got on that 70s show, my mom would ask me like, how's that Ashton Kutcher? And it's still Kutcher, always Kutcher. It's gotta be. Yeah. And it has to be to this day. It should be. And it should be. I think there should, I mean,

it's almost like people should have their name and then what your parents can call me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have one more

that I was reminded of. We went to, I like, I really, I don't know if this is something you do not agree with, but I really like Disneyland. I don't know if you guys

are like, no, as an adult, you shouldn't like, I think so. But sometimes people are like, well, you're an adult, you shouldn't like it. I think so. But sometimes people are like, well, you're an adult. You shouldn't love it. I go like once a year. Oh, gotcha. Alright, so that's an important distinction.

Yeah, do you know Colin Jost? Does he go every year? No, does he go once a year? Once a year. Yeah. Well, now that I'm out here. But it's like, and I think this is why, when I was a kid, they took us to Disney World in Florida, which was very exciting. Very big deal for our family to do that. And I was a kid, they took us to Disney World in Florida, which was very exciting, very big deal for our family to do that. And I was a scaredy cat and afraid of roller coasters.

And we waited for Space Mountain for an hour and 10 minutes. And my sister was really excited to go. My dad could care less. My mom was nervous. And we got there where you could see it. You could see people loading. And I said, I couldn't do it. I can't do it. I can't get on this ride. And my, my sister goes, what? We just been waiting for like an hour. You can't. And I go, I can't, I am so, I'm so nervous. I can't, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I can't do it. Am I allowed, am I allowed to step off the line? And they go, you're a kid. You can't, one of us has to go with you. So then my dad was probably like, all right, I'll step off with Ben.

I think probably he didn't want to go either and he's using that. And then my mom is like, well, I'm not going by myself with my sister. And I was like, and so then we waited for an hour and whatever, and then the whole family had to step off the line and leave. And my sister didn't get to go on it.

And I think because of that as an adult, then when I got to go on these rides that I was afraid of as a kid i think there's something there but i want to ask you a question because i find myself i'm 42 now i find myself drawn to a lot of like like uh i like my old nintendo cartridges like my my intent my nes and stuff like that i i love like i found a way to buy them back and i was like the ones that i sold when i was a kid, the ones that I sold when I was a kid,

the exact ones that I sold to someone in high school and I love it and I like, love connecting to shows when I was a kid and I was wondering

if you guys have that and what the reasoning for that is. Is there any collectible or any feeling that you get that connects with your childhood

that you keep chasing or collecting? I've got one teed up, ready to go. Yeah, can't wait. I was also the collector. I was the collector of the two of us. I've genuinely been thinking about

buying an old spinner comic book rack for my office and just buying the comics that I feel like the most, like when I look at the covers, it makes me feel the past the most. Yeah, they wouldn't be like the most expensive comics. No, I know exactly which one. Yeah, they mean the most to me. And then just like, I love like a spinner rack

because I can remember the first time I walked into like a supermarket at the time and like, you know, I just like pulled out. I was like, oh oh I want this the first Green Lantern comic I bought is Green Lantern throwing down his ring and he says I quit and I just remember I couldn't believe as a kid I can't believe my first day and he's quitting I just got here I just just showed up, my man. What's going on?

Good news, not to spoil the sort of 1982 Green Lantern. A thousand more comics came after. It came back. He came back. Do you remember anything, Josh, that you collect?

So you don't collect. I find myself collecting sometimes because I sold my Nintendo as a kid and I was so upset that I didn't have the thing that I love so much. I like connected with it so much. I loved it so much and I didn't have it. And then from that day, I really wouldn't let something go if I really liked it a lot. Like I'd keep it in a box.

I have like memory boxes. I don't know if you guys ever did that, but like things from my career, from my past or from high school, I have boxes and you can almost see my life because it's a sneaker box from sometime I bought that year. So you can see sneakers from boxes from 25 years ago and like how my style has changed in sneakers and they're filled with all my memories from my entire life. Wow. Where do those live?

They live in the closet where I have my like jackets. There's probably like 20, I don't keep everything, but like a playbill for a musical or like if I had a show and I'll keep that or something like that and then I'll and then I have some like

things that I've I have a bunch of old comics for me one of them was Slapstick I don't even know if you guys would even know that character but it's like a comedic

Marvel character so like I have those and I have the Infinity Gauntlet ones and I have all the ones that when I was a kid blew my mind I have them in a little spot and I just have I have like the cue card when I was freelance writing for a letterman I have my first joke that got on I have that cue card

I have the cue card when I was a guest on letterman that says welcome uh Ben Schwartz I like I love though those things and I don't have them framed or anything I just I have them and I know I have them and it makes me happy yeah our. Our mother's very good at keeping sort of time capsule boxes. Like a lot of articles, like she'll still cut things out. And if you go home, you can pull your box. Oh, that's cute.

Do you guys look at them together? No, but they're there. I've just, you know, I've been working in this building for like 20 plus years. And so I moved like all my garbage from SNL into my late night office. And it's a hiatus week. And so I actually was just in my office before this.

I'm like, I got to clean up. Because I, and it's, I find it very hard to throw things away. I do too. I'm just, and also I do sometimes, do you ever question this about yourself, Ben? Because that thing of like, some people get older and they're like, now I used to have a taste for comics and now I love modern art, which I have no eye for. I'm like, no, I think the thing that would make me happy is like,

if I framed a baseball card I once had, because then I'd look at it. And I get that there's probably long books written about how that's like a stunted growth thing. But I do just like old stuff. I have animation cells from some of my favorite things growing up. And they line one of my walls. I have like Ren and Stimpy, Scooby-Doo, Fred Flintstone, a bunch of Simpsons. And it's like, it brings me so much joy.

And then I have like, you know, probably like 10 now. Wile E. Coyote, some of that, and Pink Panther. And I'm like, oh, I can't. I did it. And I loved collecting it and finding the right ones and paying the right prices so they weren't too expensive. And now I'm like, all right, I'm done. I don't have any more room on that wall. So I'm done with that. So like I'd be like, I don't need to get more of that, but I'm really happy to have those. One of the things I did to treat myself this I'm a little bit younger than you. So I don't know if you guys cared about this. Although, Josh, aren't you my age? I'm 48.

Oh, wow. Good job, guys. You guys got that new hand for June. You guys have the hair of younger. Unbelievable. I bought an unopened box of Marvel trading cards, Marvel season one trading cards, as a gift to myself.

And instead of keeping it, whenever I have a moment, I like, and want to like treat myself to something. I, I open up that fricking box and I unwrap one, hoping that I get a hologram, like a little kid.

And it's, it's, I can't tell you, and it's not to collect. It's just the feeling of like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm opening this thing from 20 years ago and trying to find the cards and putting them neatly in a little thing, like protecting my beautiful little cards.

Like I still have that. That's like a treat to myself, buying an unopened and then I got to unwrap that box and return to it once every now and then. Was there ever bubble gum in those or was that distinctly a baseball card thing? Not Marvel, but Alf playing cards had bubble gum in. You know that, Josh. Of're playing like you don't. Of course you know that. Yeah, talk to my dentist. Josh and I, like, whenever I'm trying to find a gift for Josh, like, I do feel like sometimes I unfortunately can only see it

through my own taste for what I'd want. And so Josh and I loved, and I remember Josh loving it especially, the Disney Robin Hood. Oh, my God. Where the fox is. Yeah. I can send you some great sales, guys. I saw some great sales.

I have sales. I have sales because Seth bought them for me. Which one did you get? Which scene did you get? A Robin Hood and a Maid Marian. They're beautiful. They're beautiful. Yeah.

Gorgeous. But Josh got me, speaking of modern art, Josh, for my birthday this year, got me a Shepard Fairey print of Chuck D. Oh, that's cool. And it was really, it made me cry. It was so, it's so beautiful. And it was just, it was also nice to be, oh, this is an old thing I loved,

but it's a new take, which was great. It's also, it's not a, I don't think it's a print though. It's got like, it's numbered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, it's not a print. It's it's a print though it's got like it's numbered yeah yeah yeah sorry it's not a print it's yeah is there a present you remember from your childhood

that was like oh my god this it could be from parents it doesn't have to be from Seth that you're like this was the best gift I think I've ever got in my life I don't know

I was thinking of another one that I got for Seth but let's talk about how you're a great guy what's another great gift Josh is better Josh is way better at gifts than Seth

I got Seth like a signed uh muhammad ali uh photograph of him over sunny liston i want to say and then also when mel blank died um there was a sort of this incredible uh piece of art with all the characters that he had voiced and it just said speechless. And it was like them sort of in mourning. Do you think you got that for me? I do. I don't think you got me the melt blank. Okay.

Yeah. All right. I'm trying to think of what else you got for me then, Seth. Yeah. It sounds like almost garbage. Maybe I got that for you. Is that possible? And then I just hung it on my wall.

Do you think that I was really thoughtful and got that for you probably Is that possible? And then I just hung it on my wall. Do you think that I was really thoughtful and got that for you, probably? Yeah, no. Probably. I'm bad at gifts. I'm bad at gifts. I did just do something really good, you guys. This is...

You know what? I'm giving myself allowance to go a little afield. There's another Flan exclusive. Another Flan exclusive. I think I did a really good gift for my wife's birthday. What did you do? You know Josh. She participated.

Oh yeah, I do. I did. I got antique postcards from all the places she met people. And then I sent it to people through her lives. So if she met, she's from New Mexico. So if she met people in New Mexico, they signed an old antique postcard to her wishing her a happy birthday. Oh, I'm from New Mexico. So if she met people in New Mexico, they signed an old antique postcard to her wishing her a happy birthday.

Oh, I'm from New York. And if she met somebody in LA. And I mean, I'm only saying it because I'm usually dud city on gifts, but I feel like that one was pretty good. One of the best gifts I gave was during COVID and we couldn't see our families. And I was with my lady

and she was cooking a lot of meals like for us. And it was great. And then she's a great cook. And then I saw that she couldn't like, you know, she couldn't see her family. I couldn't see my family. And I messaged all of our family members and I got recipes from all of them. And I made her a cookbook of everybody's family recipe and printed it out like a real book. And I almost think that I think I was doing Space Force at the time.

I think Carell had like put the idea in my head. And then so I made this full cookbook with all pictures of our families and all of our lives and stuff like that. And each recipe has like this is grandma's this. This is mom's, this is whatever. And I gave that to her. That was one of those crying this way, the crying this way type. That is so great. I can also tell you that gift walks a fine line because it's a little bit like you gave her a thing. It was like, please make me. Please make me these. Yeah. I also gave her a book on how to wash my car.

But I got like my dad to like say something to my mom. My mom's like, it's 3.30. Why aren't you washing the car? Something like that. What about, have you taken any trips with your parents as an adult? They've come to shows. You know what's so funny? Me, I tour this improv show and me touring the show has gotten them to travel more

than they've traveled in their entire life. That's wild. They love coming to these shows. They came to North Carolina. My dad came to Chicago. They've come to LA a couple times. You're about to go to London. Is that correct?

I'm playing the Royal Albert Hall. Amazing. Congrats. That's so great. Insane. Thanks, man. And also, you guys know, it's like improv. We're used to playing for 90 people. Improv

isn't supposed to do this, so the fact that Ben Schwartz and Friends, the show that I'm doing, is getting to play, like, we played Radio City, 6,000 people, and sold it out, and it's like, it feels awesome. But Royal Albert Hall is the next really, really big one that I'm really excited about. But... Who do you bring? Who are your friends? Is it sort of a

rotating cast? I have a list of like 12 people. Dippled's on there for Man TV, Josh. Great. But it's like Drew Tarver does a lot. Brandon Scott Jones, Gil Ozeri, Eugene Cordero, Colton Dunn, Mary Holland, Jess McKenna. I'm sure there's one or two.

Brandon Scott Jones is doing a couple now. Did your parents love seeing you do improv from the very jump? I think so. My dad, and tell me if this is similar to you guys, my dad was nervous that I would start this and it would be really hard and I wouldn't be able to make money and my life would be very difficult

and I would barely be able to make rent. And I think the beginning, when I talked about it, it's not like he didn't think it's not that he didn't believe in me he just it's a world that nobody my family doesn't know about at all it's like being an astronaut we it's it's that it's that insane me saying i want to do comedy is like me being like i'm gonna fly to the moon because none of us knew what how you know we didn't know anybody that did it and stuff like that so it's like i

think he was just nervous that it was going to be very difficult. And it was difficult, but it was like the best. And then, wait, was that your question, Seth? It was just the excitement about going to see you. Because I think our parents from the beginning loved it. Just loved it. Yes, we're very lucky to have supportive parents, by the way. My mom and dad, like, they were at all my shows

before anybody wanted to come. Like, they were super supportive. If I had a good show, they'd tell me. If I had a good show, they'd tell me. If I had a bad show, they wouldn't really tell me. But like, you know, the beginning. We have one of those and we have one of the other ones. Yeah. Improv at the beginning is hard. Improv at the beginning is tough to watch.

When you're learning how to improvise. Yeah. I mean, I can't, knowing what they had to sit through in those early days is really, I have such affection for the fact that they, I mean, the good news was at least, although they went to Northwestern and they would go see Second City when they were in college,

so they had an awareness of what it was. But I think they were very excited to see their kids on stage. And travel-wise, for us in Boom Chicago, they came to Amsterdam so often. Really? They would come and see us. They loved it so much. And I remember one time going through customs.

They came so much that a Dutch customs guy took a long look at mom's passport and then looked at my dad. Dutch people are very bad at tone. But he goes, I remember your wife. Just like a weird fucking thing to say. Wink, but he goes, I remember your wife. Just like a weird fucking thing to say. Wink, wink, wink, wink. Wink, wink, wink, wink.

Did you guys ever write a two-person show together or no? We never did anything two-person. We were, I mean, we did,

we were at us, we briefly, I guess, at Boom together and then we sort of diverged both at shows and different coasts. We haven't been

on the same coast since. Yeah. I've stepped into Seth's shoes and a show, in a two-person show that he did with Jill Benjamin. And,

yeah, but then we were on shows on different coasts. That's crazy. How crazy that two people in the same family could have, like,

be that funny. That's like, whenever I see, like, two, like, the Lopez's, Brooke Lopez and Robin Lopez,

you're like, both brothers are good enough to be in the NBA. That's amazing. Right. I know you get tall enough, but both good enough. I know. both brothers are good enough to be in the NBA? That's amazing. Right. I know you're both tall enough, but both good enough. I know. 1% of people get to play in the NBA,

or 1% of people get to be in sketch comedy shows or whatever, and two in the same family is crazy. It's been amazing. Did you, where's your sister now? Is she? She's in New York. She lives in New York. Do you see each other enough?

Once a year, we go on a big family vacation. We go to like Cape Cod usually. Oh, great. Yeah. Summertime. We'll go to this year. Same place, same whatever. It's great.

Do you guys like rent a house? Both your parents go? And now I'm old enough to split the house with my dad or like my dad will let me totally pay for it. But it's like, now I'll be like,

hey, I'll, you know, like I'll go, I'll pay for it. And I'll be like, I'll split it with you. I'm like, love it. I love it. It's such a cool feeling.

I do remember the first time. Yeah, first time picking up a check is. That's a huge one. Paying for a parent's meal is such a big moment. Second time the thrill is completely gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't even care anymore.

I'll tell you this. They're not getting the flan if I'm paying. Absolutely not. You're crazy. Do your parents drink? Do you guys ever have like saucy nights with your parents or not?

Do you think? How would you answer that question? I'll let you answer about mom. Okay, I'll answer it. I think. Yeah, our mother, she can be in her cups. She loves a gin and tonic. She loves a gin and tonic.

But she's, we've had, I mean, dad is not, in general, our dad is like one glass of scotch. Doesn't like losing control. And our mom can just put it down and be fine. I mean, she's really impressive. Wow. But it is, I remember like boozy, like the first time it was a boozy Thanksgiving.

I remember how much fun that was and just realizing um just how hard everybody was laughing and as it suddenly dawned on us like oh yeah right we're kind of drinking wine with our parents now this is really my parents don't drink and then i've been to houses where parents drink i'm like this is so fun we're just like fucking hanging we're just hanging out all of a sudden yeah this is great i also remember remember when I got older and I was going through like, you know, like being so stressed and trying to find work, me talking to my dad and being like, cause I know my dad, there's a time where he had to find a new job and, you know, like it was tough and he had to, you know, him, him and my mom were me and had me and my sister and I had to be so

tough. And I was like, I never saw that at all. Like I never, it's so crazy that you had your own shit that I had no idea about. And he goes, um, I thought it was a pretty good lesson. He's like, he goes, that's part of being a parent. Like not, it's not about me. It's a, you know, it's about you. I don't want to put my stuff on you. You don't need to see that I'm struggling at there. We want to show you that blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, but like, as I grew older and had anxiety and had like working for stuff and doing this and try, oh my God, what am I gonna get my next job? Being like, oh my, all my parents had the same exact thing. They just didn't really like pour it on us as much. It was like, they, I was like, that's so crazy to think that my parents probably went through the same exact emotions that I went through. I just never really saw it like

this. Yeah. Our father worked for this big company when we lived in Michigan, and then he and some of his buddies started a new company. What did the company do, Josh? The new company, oh man, they made, it was called CFX, Computer FX, and it was like T-shirts, lunchboxes,

makeup accessories, jewelry, but all that was... It looked like computer chips. The designs were computer chips. It was the early 80s. He thought the movie Tron was going to usher in a new era of fashion that was computer chipped based.

Is that for real? Yeah. That is for real. And talking about catalogs, we were in the catalog, and I don't know if we can find a copy of this catalog, but we were like weird little kids wearing this stuff. And so he left a good, you know, probably good-paying job

at a good, solid company and started this new thing with some buddies, and then it just crashed and burned, and we moved because he got a job in New Hampshire. Just because Dad's listening. I'm going to say it was like misunderstood. I feel like crashed and burned is we moved because he got a job in New Hampshire. Just because dad's listening, I'm going to say it was like misunderstood. I feel like crashed and burned

is a little bit. I think so too. Ahead of its time. Maybe not. I don't want to think so. I think it's selling out. People love computer chips now. It's definitely selling out.

I will tell you, it's selling out. It is unavailable to purchase, which is a nice way of saying sold out. Right. Now I want it. I want it.

But we definitely like, we moved the whole family because, you know, then he got another very good job in New Hampshire and we moved there. But there was clearly turmoil in the sort of financials of the family to a degree. Of course. I think we were fine. But like, we never felt any of that. And it was, it's, you know's very nice to be protected from that. I do think also it is good to talk about that stuff with your kids. I have plenty of friends now that are like, hey, we can send you to this high school, but it's going to cost us $60,000 a year.

Or you can go to this one that's essentially free. And kids are like, okay, yeah, I'll go to the free one. I regret the times on the playground. I said, do you know who my dad is? He's the guy who started Computer FX. I definitely think that looking back, I wish I'd done that. He's listening. Can I tell you, I'm a huge fan.

I'm a huge fan. I can't wait to see this thing. I'm the biggest Larry fan you've ever met in your life. I'll get in line. There's a lot of Larry fans out there in the podcast world. So as you, so you took some driving vacations. Where would you go other than like San Diego? That's obviously for them.

San Diego is too far. We flew there. We went to Cape Cod. We went to Maine. We went to Maine for driving. And I remember because there's no cell phones, like the way to pass time, we listen to music. We were big into like Stevie Wonder and Sam Cooke, but then also lots of folks with James Taylor.

We would call it breakfast music because every time we'd have bagels on like the weekend, we would listen to James Taylor. So we call it bagel music. Simon and Garfunkel over that. But I remember that I would love looking out the window. This is probably not embarrassing. We'll find out after I say it. I would love looking out the window and to pass time. Imagine that there's like a little ninja like keeping up with our car like i'd watch and like jumping on treetops and like swinging yep and somehow was always keeping up

and if i just missed him if he just fell back a big jump would get him right back in and i could do that for i mean i've been hours i would. That was the original side-scroller video game. That's exactly correct. That's probably why I did it, because I was so obsessed with Nintendo games. But I'm so curious what the next generation is going to be like, because now I'm addicted to my phone. I haven't looked at that Ninja in years.

He's face-pressed against the glass. He's like, I'm still here, man. But I wonder what that is, because we had to use our imaginations so much and now everything is, we just have to watch now. So I was like,

I wonder what kids are going to, like, what that feels like. Did you guys, were you guys very, playtime for you guys was like, let's go outside

in New Hampshire and go bananas? Yeah, a little of that. I mean, I was a little bit more of an inside kid than Josh, but we were outside and we had a yard and we were, we're fairly bananas. Yeah, I was a little bit more of an inside kid than Josh, but we were outside and we had a yard and we were fairly bananas.

Yeah, we had a, like our first Nintendo, our dad would take away for the summer because he's like, it's summer, you're not going to stay inside playing this thing. And he took it away. And then when we set it up, when the school year started again, it didn't work. And I'm convinced he like broke it and was like

man I don't know what to tell you it's like it was interesting he broke it? I don't know he claims he just put it away

and it came back broken but he didn't get us get him on the fucking podcast he would like nothing more if he just by the way he likes a good mystery too

so you know you guys want to sell it we should do a serial about the Nintendo but he did not replace it to his credit he was like yeah no you had one it's busted He likes cereal. He likes a good mystery too, so you know you guys want to sell this. We should do a cereal about the Nintendo. But he did not replace it, to his credit. He was like, yeah, no, you had one. It's busted.

Yeah. Go back to it. Had a good run. We did. You know, it's interesting because he was anti-video games, super pro TV. We watched so much TV together as a family. Same.

And I think that was the best. It was the best. I would watch Letterman every night at my parents' feet. Like, I'd watch Letterman at their feet watching, like, when I was in high school. Every single night before I went to bed, I'd watch that until they started going to sleep. That's late. You stayed up. I stayed up really late.

And then it was, like, Seinfeld and Cheers while I was going to sleep. I had a TV in my room, which was the best. Yeah. So, like, but that's it. My high school routine was, like like at the foot of their bed almost like a dog and we did have a dog watching Letterman with them

then when they started going to sleep when it was like first second commercial break going to my room turning on Seinfeld or Cheers whatever was on at that time

watching it slowly go to sleep and then like that's what I do every every night yeah we would watch Cheers would be on

like two repeats of Cheers, even though Cheers was still on, would be on every night at 7 and 7.30. Yeah. And I just remember, we would basically have dinner in front of the TV and watch Cheers. We've seen a thousand times.

And it was nice. Also, I think people, it was nice that there were commercials because we did talk during commercials. Yeah. Yeah. Those are conversation breaks. Did you guys have a movie,

I feel like this happens more with people who are not Jewish because you have Christmas movies. Do you have a movie that as a family you'd watch every year no matter what? A Christmas Story. A Christmas Story would be our Christmas movie for sure. Yeah. Every year for sure. And then, oh, there was one that now we're watching with our kids.

Do you know that Jim Henson, Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas? No. It's fantastic. It was on Canadian television. It's a Muppet movie, but it's about an otter and it's a Christmas story. And it's the sweetest, most wonderful thing.

There's, I got to do one scene with animal once for something. It was highlight of my life. Yeah. To improvise with a Muppet is all I wanted to do. It's amazing. I've gotten to do, I remember when i did weekend update with kermit oh my god who's voicing him um it was the real kermit uh no i don't know i can't remember it was the it wasn't it was post jim henson

all right i feel bad i can't remember his name but they said hey just remember don't look at the at me look at Kermit and you're like I'll try and then the minute it starts

you can't take your eyes off Kermit you're like the coolest thing in the world you completely forget that there's a dude underneath

and you're just like staring in Kermit's eyes and you're like nobody's ever understood me like you have you just see like smoke

the guy underneath just smoking cigarette he's like I did I also did one with Carol Spinney Big Bird really? Like you have. You just see like smoke. The guy underneath is just smoking a cigarette. He's like. I did. I also did one with Carol Spinney, Big Bird. Really? Yeah.

And the best thing about Carol Spinney, one of our writers described it as it was watching someone operate a Civil War submarine. Like that's how bad the tech was. Oh my God. He had like a flashlight in his mouth and like a tiny clipboard and he also had a, and I remember at one point

I just heard him drop the script and I was like, well, it's going to be bad. He rolled with it. But I was like, this is,

I can't believe all these years later this is how the Muppets are working. There was one, I did this show called After Party and the camera,

it was like deep in, we were like the first, one of the first shows to shoot after COVID so it was like, you had to wear a mask at all times. If you're going to take a drink of water, you have to step outside the stage, take a sip of water. And then we had a camera operator. His name is Neil who had

like, you know, a heavy camera the whole time he's wearing two masks and goggles. And I'm like, and he was so wonderful and talented. And we were like talking about, he, he loved the goofy movie with him and his wife. And so on the last day I got, um i got um bill farmer who's been doing the voice of goofy for like 35 years to leave him a voice note as goofy saying like thank you but then um bill then sent me one as well and i like uh it just said like i just pressed i was like oh what's this one i pressed play and he's like oh hey ben and i like started to cry I like don't know what happened I just started to cry he's like oh yeah

I know you're a great guy and I was like it was like too much it was too much it would be great if it was like it's 3.35 or your dad wants

to know what we're having for dinner I just read a book called Mind Conf have you ever heard of it Jesus Goofy Jesus Goofy give it a chance.

All right, talking to you is the best. And Josh is now going to ask you our family trips questionnaire that everyone gets. Okay. All right, here we go, Ben. You can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational? Is it for me or me and my family me and my parents for you this is you for me it would be relaxing i really i really am i just supposed to give one

more answer and shut the fuck up that you know that's great i really need i need it now that i'm older it's this is great when i was younger i didn't understand why we went on vacation i'd be like it costs money we leave we come back and we get not we have nothing from it why we i literally would say to my parents, I don't understand why we're doing these. We're like leaving. We come back. We don't, we spent a bunch of money

and we have like, we don't have like a TV for it or like we haven't bought something with the money we could use. I did not understand vacations when I was a kid. And now it's like, it feels, it's like for my body gets relaxed. But I don't know if you guys are like this. It takes me two or three days to even remotely start to relax yeah i'm can't calm down i'm thinking about all

the stuff i should be doing my brain can't stop um until like yeah but relaxing great um what is your favorite means of transportation train plane automobile oh i love i Oh, I love trains. I love trains. Anytime I can go between shows on a train, and I've never been on one of those fancy ones where you could sleep on it, but I love like, I don't know what it is. I love being able to watch, but also being able to be on my computer. And like, I love the idea of planes.

I'm on so many planes. But trains feel special to me still, since I've been a kid. Yeah, apparently the ninja also will run along outside of a train. Are you serious? Are you for real? We'll take a peek next time. It's a different ninja.

I think it is a different ninja. If you could take a vacation with any family, alive or dead, fictional or real, other than your own family, what family would you like to go on a vacation with? Oh man it's such a big question. Yeah.

Because also I feel like my instinct is like I probably want to go on a vacation with like family members who've passed away. You know what I mean? Like I've never met blank

or da da da. That's a very thoughtful answer. Maybe. But that is your own family. I know you're right. That's why it's a great question. I love I love Stevie Wonder.

I mean, I would love to go. I think a Stevie Wonder vacation would be amazing. I mean, who knows what will happen on a Stevie vacation. It'd be really funny if you picked Stevie Wonder and be like, but I get to pick the music. I want to go on a road trip with Stevie Wonder. And he drives. He drives and I pick the music.

All right. Excellent. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? If I wanted to survive, it would be my dad. My dad like rebuilds cars. My dad like is like, you know, like he's like a real dude. He's like a guy. And I'm like, I no joke.

He came. This is a real thing. He came this weekend with my mom. And this And I'm like, I no joke. He came, this is a real thing. He came this weekend with my mom. And this is who I am, by the way. He came and I'm like, oh, thank God you're here. I don't know why to hang a coat rack on the wall. So he just like hung something on the wall. Like I needed my dad to do it because my whole life, my dad's done that stuff. So it'd be my dad. Excellent. Is Riverdale, do you consider that your hometown? North Bronx?

I say Riverdale and then Edgemont, which is the place in Westchester that I lived. All right. Would you recommend Riverdale and the North Bronx as a vacation destination?

No, I don't think it's too, and where I moved to was the suburbs. It wouldn't be a place that you would like. I don't think so. But like,

it's funny, I'm sure. But when I've been to New Hampshire, I've been to Vermont. When i go there and i go to a house there it feels so relaxing and so nice that i wonder if it's just a change of scenery but mine feels suburbs feel so normal the you know what i mean in edgemont it's so normal there and then riverdale was lovely but it's like you live there you don't like vacation there yeah same with our hometown. Yeah. No disrespect to these places.

No, they're wonderful places. Although, have you guys ever been to Maine? I love Maine. Yeah, we love Maine. Love Maine. Where'd you go in Maine? Where was your spot in Maine?

I just went two years ago to Camden, Maine for the first time. Oh, yeah. We've got a friend that lives right near there in either Rockland or Rockport.

I forget. I ate at one of those places. And we ate like lobster rolls along. We drove from Boston all the way up. It was the, we had the best.

It was just great. Yeah. Great. And then Seth's got our last questions. Have you been to the Grand Canyon? No.

Do you want to go? Yes. Oh, interesting. Do you not? I don't know how it was going to break. I don't. Not even just to see it?

Well photographed. Well, I guess, I mean, it's not far away from Josh and I. If I really wanted to go, I'd get there, I think. Yeah, I mean, it has nothing to do with proximity for Seth. He just doesn't, he's not interested. At all? I am, yeah. Is there a place that you guys want to go that you've never been?

Tokyo. Ooh, that'd be fun. Yeah. I was bummed, I mean, for a lot of reasons, but there, I was, I would have gone to the Olympics in Tokyo, except it was the, you know, it was the COVID Olympics and nobody could go.

Oh, yeah. I was looking forward to it. When all the different diseases competed for medals, the COVID Olympics. COVID, COVID did great. COVID cleaned up. I haven't been to Machu Picchu. I'd love to go to Machu Picchu.

Oh, wow. I've been. Yeah. Wow. And what'd you think,u Picchu. I'd love to go to Machu Picchu. Oh, wow. I've been. Yeah. Wow. And what'd you think, Seth? No, I feel like that's good. You know, there's a real, the knock on me is I haven't been anywhere

and I don't want to be anywhere and I went to Machu Picchu for my honeymoon. Really? Oh, you don't like traveling? No, I love to travel. I just think there's like these, you gotta see it, where like,

I'd much rather go someplace where they're like, you gotta eat the food or like- I, oh my God. And we can get into this whenever you guys want. I pick my tour cities by which restaurants are there now. Perfect. So like, I'll go to Chicago

because I know I want to hit off some places. I'll go to, and every, I have a list of all the venues I've been to. I have a list of like, okay, this hotel was good or not. And also I have a list of every restaurant I've been to. And I like make sure to like remember which ones are good and which ones are bad i love going to different cities and trying food it's like one of my favorite things you know how badly i've blown it ben because i've blown it very badly because what you're making me when i go on the road now

because i try to go less yeah to be away from my family less i try to do two shows in a night and I blow the chance to have dinner in cities. You can't do it. And you can make your shows an hour earlier and that way you can get the better restaurant reservations. It's just dumb.

By the time I'm done, it's like 11 and nobody's. Do you do one city two nights or you do two cities two nights? So you do four shows and you're out. I do four shows in two different cities.

Yeah, that's what I, we do one show in two different cities. Yeah. I'm jealous. I think like that going out to dinner in a different cities. Yeah, that's what I... We do one show in two different cities. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm jealous. I think, like, that going out to dinner in a different city... It would make you so happy. Yeah.

But happiness is not my goal. It's the work. Is that what this podcast is? It's the work. Is that what this is? What a delight it's been to chat with you, Ben. I think you guys are the best. It's just fun to talk to human beings.

This is fantastic. All right, best buddy. Take care. Good to see you guys. Thanks for having me. Adios. Bye. Bye.

The Schwartz's went to Disney World To parents with their boy and girl Take Space Mountain for a whirl How freaking cool is that? An hour waiting for the ride But when they finally got inside Ben said he had to step aside Cause he was a scaredy cat

Everyone went with them They all had to take a pass His sister must've wanted to kick his ass Later the whole family Out in California Went to SeaWorld for the day Maybe pick up a souvenir Ben tucked his ears

inside his hat. Dad said, why you doing that? Took him out and bing bang splat. A seagull shat on his ear. If you're tucking your ears in and dad tells you to set them free,

just tell them they're staying. Better safe than sorry. Ears up! to set them free Just tell them they're staying Better safe than sorry Ears out! Birdshot! So gross! Feels bad! Ears in!

No shit! You win! is no shit you win so just tuck your ears away