Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - FAMILY TRIPS: Live From Amsterdam!

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

We have a very special bonus episode today…live from Amsterdam! We took Family Trips across the pond for a very special live episode at our old stomping grounds of Boom! Chicago in Amsterdam. Not only did we bring out some of our old friends to share hilarious travel stories on the stage, but we also spilled some of our own tales from exploring Amsterdam, past and present. You’ll hear from some of our friends including Ike Barinholtz, Brendan Hunt, Andrew Moskos, Jill Benjamin, Peter Grosz and of course everyone’s favorite parents…Larry and Hilary Meyers! This live episode of Family Trips from Amsterdam was recorded in partnership with Airbnb. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This live episode of Family Trips from Amsterdam was recorded in partnership with Airbnb. Hi, Bashe. Hi, Sufi. A very exciting episode today. Yeah, I really, I'm super excited for it. I was excited for it. It was exciting when it happened

and I'm really excited that it's coming out. Recorded in front of a live studio audience in Amsterdam and our old theater of residence, Boom Chicago, and multiple guests. So you're gonna, there's a real parade of friendlies in this episode. Yeah, and if you are usually a listener to the pod and wanna get some visuals, they're more dynamic,

I think, than our normal Zoom boxes. That's true, because we're all there in person together. Yeah. And some familiar faces, you're gonna see our parents. Yep. The Poncas. Yep. You're gonna see Ike Barinholtz, who this morning

nominated for best supporting actor in a comedy for his incredible work on the studio. So congratulations to our dear friend Ike on that well-deserved honor. Yeah, Sal Saperstein. Sal Saperstein! Brendan Hunt is gonna be there. Yeah, Sal Saperstein. Sal Saperstein! Brendan Hunt is going to be there.

Pete Gross is going to be there. Andrew Moscos, who's one of the founders of our theater, is going to be there. And Jill Benjamin is going to be there. And I'm very excited for all of you to meet Jill Benjamin for the first time. If you haven't met her, she makes an impression. But it was cool. And we were also cognizant of the fact that, you know, it was in a theater. We had to turn over the room.

It was during a comedy festival. But I think we could have gone longer with everybody who joined us on stage. So, yeah. Enjoy! -♪ Family trips with the Mice Brothers Brothers, family chips With the Midas Brothers, here we go It's really a pleasure to introduce two great comedians,

Friends, Olmos Family. Please give it up for Seth and Josh Myers. Yeah do a little spin, do a little spin, do a little spin. Yeah this is so exciting that you dressed the way you used to dress in Amsterdam. Absolutely, I did. And I also dressed the way I used to dress in Amsterdam because I did not change who I was when I lived abroad. I did not become a different person.

Seth asked me, oh, look at this. Oh. Seth asked me this afternoon, do we cheers? Do they have video? Will they be recording this? And I said yes. And then when he showed up, I was like, you heard, I said yes.

Yeah. I put a lot of thought into this and whether I should go home and change. But the reality was there's too much to do. I'm here with my nine-year-old son. And I thought, I thought it was more important to have a family trip than it was to dress up for a audio medium. So here we are.

Yeah, seeing Seth when he's on hiatus, it's like a week into a hiatus, it's like when you're in a natural history museum and you see like a Cro-Magnon man. Yeah. You just let it go. I worked my way slowly back down the evolutionary picture chart. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. It's been very exciting. We're already off to a great start of the trip, but you had a very harrowing moment this morning. You had to call in a health check. Yeah.

Mom and dad said, we'll see you at like nine or 10 for breakfast. We went to bed at 10 last night. We all said good night at 10. And I said, yeah, that makes sense. You know, everyone's a bit jet lagged and we just landed yesterday morning. So we knew it was gonna be a big sleep.

You know, my wife and I, we woke up at nine and we went to breakfast. I was texting mom and dad, no response. At 10, no response. At 11, no response. And I went to the front desk of texting mom and dad, no response. At 10, no response. At 11, no response. And I went to the front desk of their hotel and I said, I'm sorry, my parents aren't responding, I need to make sure they're okay.

And they called the room and that's what woke them up at 11.30. They had slept for 13 and a half hours. And let me just say, yeah, give it up. I am, I'm so happy they weren't dead for a couple of reasons. One, I care about them so much. Two, the worst person to find out would be from a Dutch hotel employee.

He'd be like, yes, sir, they are dead. You have good instincts. They are both deceased. Yeah. I'm being told there's a very strange smell coming from the room. It sounds like two dead persons. Go without saying we will provide a late check out? LAUGHS I had a real... And again, you know, we don't need to apologize

for these hyper-accurate Dutch impressions. LAUGHS But we shall be doing them a lot. So I brought my son to Rent Bikes, and I had a real great Dutch customer service. Make some noise if you're actually Dutch in the room tonight. And make some noise if you'll acknowledge that on a customer service level you can often be impossible. Great. Okay, so I went to Rent the Bikes. I had a reservation. My reservation was for yesterday, but we got caught up with stuff,

and so we didn't go until today. Oh, yeah, that's a problem. Yeah, well... It's like you were there. But then he opened up the computer screen, so it took like five minutes to get to his realization of what I was claiming happened, and then he looked at the computer screen,

and he's like, no, you took them out yesterday. And I was like happened and then he looked at the computer screen he's like no you took them out yesterday and I was like no we we didn't and he goes yes this year you did and I'm like but why would I be here like what's the scam you think I'm running they were just coming every day getting a couple bikes selling them on the black market yeah don't know that's your scam sir I don't understand it either. Yes, but very exciting and also very exciting. Took my son Ash, just had a FABO for lunch. Ooh. Yeah.

FABO, not a sponsor. I want to stress not a sponsor because they told me they don't need it. Yeah. They're busy. But I will say a little heartbreaking went into the FABO. There's one, just a couple doors down.

In real quick, just FABO for those of you who don't know. It's like a Dutch word meaning Michelin starred restaurant. formerly coin operated, but now you can tap with your phone food out of a wall. Yes, but now I will say the one I'm at, not one morsel of food in the wall. It looks like an old, it looks like the monkey room in 28 Days Later after they all escaped.

Just like empty, and then you just go order at the front, which is a little bit, yeah. That's what you don't want. No, that's like going to Benihana and they're like, we make it in the back now. I want to get my food out of the wall. But we still got some french fries and a hamburger. That's exciting.

He's still, how was it Ash? Good. Good. Good, great. I do have to, we want to shout out our sponsor, Airbnb. Shout out, thanks for sending us here. They sent us here, they're a great partner. They've been sponsoring the show. My wife and I and my mother-in-law and my parents

are going to go on an Airbnb experience to learn the history of Amsterdam through a beer glass. That's fantastic. Very excited about that. I feel like Ike also did that. Yeah. But there are, I mean, there's so many, I was looking at like different Airbnb experiences

they have and there's like, there's private tours of art galleries, there's bike tours to places that if you were just coming here as a tourist, you might not think to go. And there's a lot of great things there. And then you're staying at a fabulous Airbnb. It's fantastic. It's really nice to have that neighborhood experience

that we used to have when we lived here. And so, yeah, it's just been fantastic so far. And yeah, Ash and I feel like a real couple of Dutch bros. Yeah. Yeah, we're just crushing the Dutch bro-dom. And again, I'm just so excited about the outfit. Are those actually, I know the jacket's new, but are the pants old school? The pants are vintage. They're my vintage. And my wife keeps telling me I need to get rid of all these pants. Sure. And I say, if I get rid of them, she says

I suggest I should donate them. But I say no one wants them. And if I donate them, they're just gonna end up in the trash and that's just too sad for me to bear. So I keep them and I wear them. And at times like this. We're all celebrating it. We are all celebrating it. And so I guess the theme song, we're gonna play the theme song now,

which might be just a musical style, the farthest away from the music you used to dance to in that outfit. Yeah, sure. But just while we play the theme song, can you dance the way you used to dance? Sure. All right.

Yeah. Cue the song. Family chips Oh! Oh! Oh! I need my glasses. I need my glasses.

Family chips Family chips Family chips Family chips Oh! I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses.

I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses.

I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses. I need my glasses we go. But we gotta bring up guests now. Yeah, let's start it up. Our first guest, big, big friends of the show.

Yep. They've been on a couple times. Yep. Our parents, give it up for Larry and Hilary Myers. The Poncas, everybody. That's the difference between Josh and I is he was like, I don't know if there's stairs there, and I was like, climb up. Oh, wait, you guys will go over there, yeah.

Yep. We were, uh... Whoo! Soak it in, Larry. Soak it in. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Were you surprised that you slept until the health check? Um, no. I always get kind of for forputschied when you come to Europe, so it takes me a while to... Thanks for immediately using a word nobody knows.

I think they can guess what it means. Yeah, that's true. We had no idea what time it was because we have a clock problem. It's true. See that? because we have a clock problem. It's true. See that? We have a clock problem. Hillary insists on buying analog clocks and she's bought these cute little clocks

except they break in about two. I can't do the math on the other ones. And she thinks if you buy a digital clock it has to be 24 hours, there's not an option. So she bought. She bought a weird clock that it has to be 24 hours. There's not an option. So she bought... She bought a weird clock that says, the time is now 7 plus 2 minus 4. Yeah.

So she has a clock that you can't see. And so she got up and she looked at the clock at one point and then went back to sleep. Wait, did she pack it? Yes. Oh, absolutely. We don't go anywhere without it. We go nowhere without an analog clock.

Bring your microphone on. I go nowhere without a clock. Yeah. Actually, you know what? That an analog clock. Bring your microphone on. I go nowhere without a clock. Yeah. Actually, you know what, that's so crazy. Put your mic down. In 2025, that is the least valuable travel trip. Never go anywhere without a clock. You guys came over here a lot when we lived here.

Many. I think we're probably, this might have been, might be, you told me to put it down. That was a joke. That was a joke. We're only 51 years in, she hasn't quite picked up on my sarcasm. I think this might be trip number 15. 15 times to Amsterdam, that's really amazing. Well every, go ahead. No, go ahead. It's your podcast. Go ahead. Well, every time that you two were here and we were all alone back home, we came over for Thanksgiving. Yeah. And then I used to

come spring breaks from my school job. I would bring my family over here. And then medical emergencies, I of course came. Oh, yeah. If you remember, when you had your tonsils out, I told my administration at school I had to go to Amsterdam because my son was having his tonsils out. And they said, well, how old is he, six?

And I said, no, he's 22. And I said, but, he's 22. And I said, but no, but none of my children are going under the knife without me being there. Yeah, true. So I flew over. I believe I stayed for a week, maybe longer than I needed to,

but I was definitely needed. I was touch and go. You were. So when I go to the hospital the day after your surgery, what do I see but some woman in the bed next to you getting out of bed wearing a thong? Now, I'm not a big thong fan. I like them pretty much.

It's been one of the more divisive issues in your marriage. And I thought a woman should have a right to put on regular underwear when you're in a hospital with a man in the other bed that is not your husband. Mm-hmm, yeah. I think for some women, a thong is their regular underwear. Oh, it can't be. It can't be.

No, no, no. I will just say that it was truly... Again, I went to the doctor a hundred times before I was 22 years old with either strep throat or bronchitis, and they gave me medicine and sent me home. The second time I got sick in the Netherlands, they were like, we're going to take out your tonsils because you're just going to keep getting sick.

And so I had truly one of the great experiences with the healthcare system here, and I can't say enough about it, and yet all my mom can do is talk about this thong. Literally 28 years later, she's like, the thong though. But there was the other part, which is where you lived in the Dutch, I don't know whether you realize this, they're not big on ice. Like getting a drink with ice, and all he needed, because he kept running a bad fever, and he wanted ice in his,

and there was no ice in the apartment they were in. So Josh used to strap a garbage can. A little trash can. A little trash can on the back of his bike and bike to Boom Chicago, fill it up with ice, come back and bring it to his brother. Yeah. Yeah.

And every morning I used to have to take the sheets off his bed because he would sweat through them and take them to a coin-operated... Jesus, what are we doing here? Take them to a coin-operated laundromat. I guess it's a lawn... Are they called laundromats here? The podcast is called Family Trips. Not clock problems or song complaints.

Well, it was a trip for her. It was a trip. It was a trip. So anyhow, it all worked out perfectly. Do you remember, there was the first hotel you stayed at you had a lot of love for. Hotel Washington, the best. The thing I remember about the Hotel Washington, it's not far from the museum, implying is that Seth, who's,

as you could see when Josh helped Hillary up the steps and Seth didn't move, he's a little bit more blasé about creature comforts for us. And so he went with some friends from Boom Chicago to check out hotels. So he went to see this hotel and he said, do you think this is gonna be all right for my parents?

And his colleague said, I don't know. Are your parents homeless? No, it wasn't the first hotel I looked at. It was not that nice. But it turned out it wasn't a bad hotel actually. It was okay. It was okay okay, people were really nice. Yeah, we have a thing in our family where we'll try to surprise each other,

we call it juking each other, and there was a classic juke, I think it was an Easter, where I was living here, you had already moved back, and mom came to spend Easter with me, and dad came to surprise her and me, And dad came to surprise her and me. And you came to surprise dad and her and me. And we would always meet, anytime people would land and they'd take a nap and we would always eat at the Palladium restaurant on the Leids Applian.

The Palladium salad is an excellent salad. And it was sort of just like a rolling series of jukes. You came to meet me and we were having lunch and then Dad came and you were so confused and then he came and everyone was confused. It was fantastic. I would say the worst part about that, and I'm gonna guess for you Dad,

is the difference in how excited she was to see me after. Because she was like, for her it was like, I got away from Larry. You were like a lifetime movie character. You don't leave my house. It feels strange that I feel like, Dad, I feel like you haven't said a lot right now, which this is new. So what are any Amsterdam memories you have of coming over to visit us, or otherwise?

Not really, no. No. No. I have an odd memory is we were here one year and there was, we were, we met a guy from Boston named Tom Kielte. Yeah. And he just sort of adopted us. We met a guy from Boston named Tom Kilty. And he just sort of adopted us.

And he would come to the Boom show every night and he would hang out with us in the old Lightsplane Theater in the Boom Bar. And the thing about this guy, Tom Kilty, was he just showed up. But his opening line, every time he would come in, he would sort of amble in and he'd go, bad news. And whatever it was the next day you'd see me come in, bad news. And Seth said that if

he ever wrote an autobiography it would be called bad news and other stories. Years later, roll ahead, and we saw him in Boston a couple times, if I'm not mistaken, when you guys were back? I'm watching 60 Minutes one night and Steve Croft is doing this thing about old buildings in Boston and he's walking down this old street and this guy, Tom Kilty, walks out of the building.

He's like, huh, Steve Croft. Bad news, dude. He was such an odd character that we met here. You were on the boat with mom and her sisters and our grandmother. Yeah. I feel like that's an iconic story. Yeah, well, I mean, it's sort of a two-parter because also your brother was here, Uncle Kurt, and your sister Alex and your Uncle Kurt smoke a little weed.

I've never known you to smoke any weed. But we're on this boat. It's just us. And Alex has a joint joint and you take a pull of this joint. One. And our grandmother, our grandmother Addie was probably in her 80s at the time and you just were convinced that Addie was very cold and we had to get the boat back to the dock. And you kept saying Addie's cold, we should go, we got to get the boat back to the dock. And you kept saying, Addy's cold. We should go. We gotta get back. And Addy kept saying, I'm fine. I'm fine. But you were insistent, and it was just like,

it was a bad go of it on the weed for you. And it didn't seem like it mixed well for you. Oh, it's a terrible side effect when you smoke weed and your loved ones get colder. But then cut to, we went to the Kokenhof. I had rented a 12 passenger van to take these, you know, my mother and sister. Beautiful tulips at the old Kokenhof.

Beautiful tulips and you know, a great thing for the older set to do. And Addie, I think really appreciated it. And we were about to get back in the van to drive back and Kurt had the rest of a joint and you had a little bit of that. And I was very worried with how it was going to go. But I had the cassette tape of the Rolling Stones Hot Rocks which I feel like was like hit so well for you and Kurt and you guys rode up front with me and you were singing and dancing and playing the drums

on the dashboard and I was like, oh, maybe weed does suit her. So here's the last time she smoked pot. I mean, in college and all that stuff, yeah, that was a long time ago though. So we're at a New Year's party with some friends, just the four of us, and I go to the bathroom and on the back of the toilet is a big candle and a roach on the top of it. And I know that these guys had college-age girls

and they had had a party the night before. So I bring this roach out, I go, hey, look what you're the girls left. He's, oh, good, New Year's, we'll smoke this. Pot's so different than we remember. And so we each had like two hits on this joint and we were messed up. I should not have been driving home.

We live in a forested country road. There's no traffic where we are. But I shouldn't have been driving. But anyway, we get home and you have to walk down a few steps from our driveway to our front door. So I walk Hillary, she says, hold on, hold on to me. I can't get down this. So we go Hillary, she's just, hold on, hold on to me, I can't get down this thing. So we go down, we go down, and I open the door,

and we have two dogs at the time, so I'll let the dogs out, and she goes into the house, and I let the dogs out, I come back in, she's laying on the kitchen floor. Last time. All right. Well, it was very special every time you guys visited, and it's very cool that you're part of the DNA of our experience here. So you're going to have other people up now?

We're going to have some other people up. You're getting so much better at reading social cues. We came all the way from Boston and this is it? Give it up! Larry and Hillary! Give it up, Larianne Hiller! And just because we're going to keep things moving, please give it up for our next guest who's going to join us up here, Mr. Brendan Hunt. And mom, you do have to go. I'm not going.

Okay, okay. Brandon! It's so good to see you, buddy. So did you ever, did you take, have family members come and take visits here to see you? It must have been nice having parents come. That never happened to me. Right, but you weren't here very long. Yeah, seven years.

Um, no that's not true. My mom did come once on the way out the door. But before my mom came. She came when you were leaving. She was like, I didn't want us both to be here at the same time. Basically, yes. And my poor Aunt Siobhan moved here like the day I was leaving and then she was like mad

at me like, oh I move here and you're leaving? I've been planning this for a while Siobhan. But my sister Megan came to visit in 2003. The summer she graduated high school and it was her first time leaving the country of course and I felt a certain responsibility for my sister. She's you know 11 years younger than me. She's always been this angel. Now she's you know she's graduating high school. She's a woman now and so I felt like I had to be the first person to give her mushrooms. Family trips.

The groan was appropriate. But of course if you going to have your sister here in the Netherlands and you're going to give her mushrooms for the first time, you have to take her to Efteling, which is what we did. Lovely titters of anticipation there and excitement. Good. For those who don't know, listening out in the ether, Efteling, best amusement park in the world. Better than Disneyland, but than all of them.

Not corporate at all, all like just elves and fairies. No IP, no. No IP. Nobody wants it. Every year Efteling's like, somebody wanna make a movie with any of these creatures? People are like, no. No.

No. How are we gonna have a screen that can hold long neck? No. Screens go the other way. Anywho. Side neck. So we go. And I feel I was somewhat ill prepared, but we go and like, and of course, Settling, she has a great time.

The mushrooms go very, very well. And there was just one moment, I'm just going to be very quickly to one quick little tale this day. There's one moment that I did not plan enough for because I, foolishly, despite having lived here almost five years, didn't plan for rain. Yeah. Oh yeah. And it starts raining pretty bad and like, this is gonna blow over. All right, we're going to that gift shop. And we go to the gift shop where we were apparently the 200th people to walk into that gift shop because there was one poncho left and one super heavy sweatshirt hoodie. I was like, all right, you

get the poncho, I'll take the hoodie, it's going to be fine. And she's like, okay, great. I'm just guiding her around, she's just doing whatever I say. She believes in me, foolishly. And again, this beautiful, wonderful day. But after a while, it's been a little bit, and it's been raining, but it's been raining a little bit less, and now we're under, you know that big tunnel canopy where it's all ivy or grass or something? You're kind of in a little forest for a second.

And as we're walking through this thing, it takes about two minutes to walk through, and as we're getting through it, I'm like, I don't know why she protested this, but I was like, Shannon, I think, Shannon, Shannon is the name of my fiance. Oh. Who looks just like your...

Yeah. Yeah. Same amount of syllables. Same amount of syllables. Megan, Megan, I'm getting pretty hot. I think I'm going to take off this sweatshirt. Because again, it wasn't a poncho, it's a fucking sweatshirt. It was a humid, humid day. And you've been known to sweat. Yeah. I have. I have. It's my brand. I would actually say if it was raining, the worst thing to buy would be a sweatshirt. It's literally like a rain catcher.

Yeah. Yeah. Either that or like a sponge jacket. My thought was better than nothing. My thought was wrong. So we're walking like, Megan, I think I'm going to take off my sweatshirt. No, Brendan, don't do that. It's raining. And like we are under this canopy and like water is coming down, but I'm fairly confident

at this point. It's just the water that is dripping off the leaves of the canopy and not actual rain. And we're getting closer to the end. I think, nah, I think that's just, I think that's just drips. I think that's just drips. It's going to be okay. I'm going to take off my sweatshirt. Brendan, don't take off your sweatshirt. It's raining.

I'm like, Megan, nah. And now we're like right up to the edge of it. And like, Megan, I'm gonna take off my sweatshirt. Okay. Let's look at this from someone else's point of view. Imagine you're a dentist from Enschede. And you brought your family to the Efteling on a Tuesday. You're so proud of yourself. You're little kids. They haven't, they've barely seen the world yet, you know, and you've taken them to Efteling. They're like six years old, the two of them, and it's a wonderful time.

And you're approaching this canopy tunnel that you love so much. It's one of your favorite things. And as you're approaching it, you and your children hear someone scream in English, perfectly American English, scream at the top of her lungs, RENIN! DON'T TAKE OFF YOUR SWEAT SHIRT! IT'S RAINING! And you, the Enske-dence-dentist, Enske-dentist, lock eyes with the person who's being yelled at, and you both know as you look up to the sky, it is not raining.

Oh no. Why is this woman yelling that it is raining when it is not? And so I turn to Megan and say, Megan, it's not raining, and please stop yelling at me. And I go throw the sweatshirt in the garbage. Family trip! Family trip!

Family trip, thank you, Brando! I will say, one of my favorite bits is one time, one of our fellow cast members, I won't say who it was, was maybe over-served at the theme park, and was just lying in the lawn. And Jordan Peele, our friend Jordan Peele, was doing a bit where he was pretending to be a Dutch child standing over him.

And he kept saying, Manir, Manir, you cannot sleep here. Manir, this is a park for children. And again, I won't say who it was, just kept doing this. Trying to wave them off. I did, the first time I came, I wasn't, you were living here and I came to visit you, and I went for a bike ride to Outakarik, just on my own. And I was riding home and it started raining and I just got under this tree,

and I was like, I'm just going to wait it out. And sort of the line of the rain kept coming in and creeping in and creeping in. And then there was like a bug on my chest. And I was like, you know, just stay there bug, we're gonna be fine. And I had maybe smoked a little weed. And the rain just kept encroaching and kept encroaching.

And eventually like I was holding my head that was just dripping water, but this bug was safe. But I was really, it was, it was a, it was a bad scene. It was a bad scene. I was waiting it out, waiting out rain's not always a great idea now. The bug's like, is this guy gonna fucking move or what? Jesus, I'm trying to get away from this rain. The worst thing about getting caught in the rain

is if it was due to the fact that you wanted to go to Outakirk. Yeah, well, I enjoyed myself. Even the sign at Outakirk was, it's not worth the trip. You're the best. This was a pleasure. Thank you for coming. I'm looking forward to spending the next couple days with you, buddy. It's going to be a blast. You just got here. Yeah, two hours ago. I'm so tired. Yay! Brandon Hunt, everybody. Get in the traps.

Get in the traps. Get in the Brandon Hunt. And now we're going to take a quick break to hear from one of our sponsors. Family Trips Live from Amsterdam is made possible by Airbnb. We hope you're enjoying this special live episode from Amsterdam. It truly was a family trip.

Hey, Bashi. Yes, Sufi. You know, I reminisce back on our magical trip to Amsterdam. One of my favorite things is being in a beautiful apartment right on a canal, a lived-in apartment, an apartment with nice home touches. And every morning, we had a beautiful back patio, Pashi. And we'd go out there, and Ash would eat his granola

and Greek yogurt and ask me if he could watch Iron Man 2. And I'd say, we're not going to watch Iron Man 2, we're on vacation. And then he'd beg and beg and then I'd just, you know, let him watch it. And it was very special because the Wi-Fi was strong, Pashi. I'm sure the Wi-Fi was strong and also if he's watching something, you know, on his phone or a tablet or whatever, you're probably just kicking back on a couch that you might not have in a hotel room. It was a good couch.

That's right. It was a good couch. Not a lumpy couch. Big windows, big beautiful, big beautiful Amsterdam windows. And you, because you were not traveling with Child, you went on a beer tour. How was your Airbnb beer tour? I mean, well, yeah, thanks to Airbnb,

we did this incredible history of Amsterdam through a a beer tour. How was your Airbnb beer tour? I mean, well, yeah, thanks to Airbnb, we did this incredible history of Amsterdam through a beer glass tour. We went to some incredible pubs that I'd never been to before. Our host James was so nice, so knowledgeable. He truncated the tour a little bit because it was so hot and it was just me and mom and dad. So we cut out some of the walking, we just hit the highlights, and I really appreciated that flexibility and huge thanks to Airbnb. Check out an experience for your summer travels that explore a new city like a local

at airbnb.com slash experiences. Here it goes. And now you met him earlier, but coming to the stage, Mr. Andrew Moskos. Andrew! Very exciting. It's so happy to be here. Thank you so much for having us.

It's so great to have everyone here again. It's like the old days. I love it. You were not on the original run list, and then you talked your way into it. Ha ha! Said, I got a real good family trip to share. I got a good story. It's short.

We said, well, you don't have to be short. Set the scene, though. Is it about here, or is it about elsewhere? No, it was a trip that happened recently. I've always loved going to amusement parks. Efteling, of course. But also the American biggies as well. My son Finn and I are going to go to Epic Universe in the fall.

Nice. Also for Halloween, so we get the horror nights at the same time. So we're very excited about... Finn and I love going to amusement parks. So we were at Disney World in Florida, and they had this new ride, Tron. We were very excited, but it's so busy that you can't just get in the line for Tron. You can't even buy your way into Tron. You got to press the button at the right time at 7 a.m. to get can't just get in the line for Tron, you can't even buy your way into Tron, you gotta press the button at the right time at 7 a.m.

to get a ticket to get in the queue. And we tried and we couldn't get it, and we're like, oh fuck, we flew here, actually for one of the reasons to ride this ride. Then we had one more time at two o'clock, we took, two, oh, oh, oh, oh, one, the tickets are all gone. You can't pay for it, there's like,

they offer you $35 a ticket. Sorry, it would be two for $25 a ticket, $50 a ride. I'm like, fuck, I'll pay $50 to ride this thing now if there's no other choice. Those are all sold out as well. So we're like, oh, we can't get on this Tron ride. How disappointing. Finn is like, let's go sneak on.

Okay, add a boy, Finn. Now, I'm going, that is an impossible task. There is 0% chance that's go sneak on. Okay. Add a boy, Finn. And now I'm going, that is an impossible task. There is zero percent chance that we can sneak on. I said, no, no, we're going to do it. Let's see what happens. And I'm like, okay, Finn, let's go sneak on to Tron. So we walk up to Tron and I'm like, Finn, what's the plan? How old is Finn?

Finn is 24. Okay, gotcha. I feel like that's a really important thing. Finn is 24. He is an adult who should know better. Right. But there's better odds. I mean, he used to work at the Milk Vag, I want to say. But he has like, he's walked into clubs,

taken a white towel, thrown it over his arm, acted like he works there, and then got in. And got in. He speaks from room to room. And then later he's sending me videos from backstage. He did not have a ticket, and now he's backstage. So he is the guy to do that.

He's older than his years. We were in Paris in a bar, and David, he was in Paris in a bar, David Lynch's club. And he was with some girl, he got backstage, and then he saw his friend, and he had to get his friend backstage. So he goes to the, there's a bouncer who's talking, some American girls are trying to get into the backstage.

Finn walks up to the American girls and goes, look, we had bracelets at the beginning of the day, but all the bracelets are gone, we can't let you backstage. Listen, if you come back earlier, maybe we can help you, but all the bracelets are gone. The girls go, oh, too bad, and they walk away. Then he goes to bounce her.

I'm gonna give you 40 euros if you let my friend in. So he's savvy, he's savvy. He's got balls, I'll give you that. So half of me is thinking, I wonder if we can sneak in. So let's go try it in. So we go and I go, what's the plan? He goes, well, let's sneak in the back, let's sneak in the exit. And I'm and I go, what's the plan? He goes, well, let's sneak in the back. Let's sneak in the exit.

And I'm like, even if we could go all the way back through and to the place where they get out of the ride, how do you go from that point to sitting in the ride? It just doesn't make sense. But he goes and I go, look, I'm gonna stand out here. You go and see what you can do. And he goes back and he goes in and he says, oh yeah, I lost my wallet.

And I'm going, how is losing your wallet going to get you to ride this ride? So finally we're texting each other and he's like, oh yeah, I tried it and I can't get it. I'm like, okay, come on back. And then a guy sees me standing in the X. He's like, can I help you? And I'm like, uh, uh, uh, I lost my wallet. So earlier I skipped this part here. There was a woman in the front here who was at the line, and I go for a second and I think, like, I've never bribed anyone in my life. I should see if I can just bribe her.

And I look at my wallet and I got a $50 bill, and I'm like, well, I would have paid $50 to ride this ride. So I put it next to a map, and this is clunky. I'm just not a guy who bribes people. I have a map and $50, and they go, oh, we flew all the way from Amsterdam, maybe you can help us out. And she looks at the map and $50,

and she goes, I can't take that, sir. Of course not, sorry. So flash forward, I'm on the outside, and the guy's there, he asks me what I'm doing, I say I lost my wallet, he goes, oh, well, let's see if we can find it for you. We get free rides to anybody who loses a wallet. Oh, my God.

So he goes into a room, and this is where they would go, and he comes back home. Yeah, we don't have it there. Hold on. One more place we can look. And he walks me outside, and I realize he's going to go to the front of the line with a lady that I just unsuccessfully tried to bribe and ask if I lost my wallet. And she's gonna go, not only do I not have his wallet, but this guy, okay, so then I look at my phone and go,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I got an app for my son and he found the wallet. Oh, thanks so much, thanks so much. Okay, but I realized that when the guy went into this other room and looked, he went through a door. So we're at the lockers, You gotta put your stuff in a locker. And then you go through the ride, and then you come out and the locker's on the other side.

So I'm at the exit side of the lockers, and I realize that the guy who went in through this door, on the other side of that door, is the inside part of those lockers. And I go, okay, Finn, there's a door. You, I'm like, I'm out, but, you know, you want to sneak in here. What? If you just go in that door confidently, don't stop when anyone says anything.

You're going to be on the right side of the lockers. Go and do it. And then I see him walking out, and he's, he's the door. He's waiting. He's looking. Then he goes through the door, and he closes behind him. And I'm like, whoa, what's happening? I get a text. He goes, I'm in. He goes, I'm gonna tell you when to go.

And I'm like, no, no, no, you just go, you just go. He's like, no, you're coming. I'm gonna tell you when to go. Stand by the door. So I stand by the door and a load of people has come out of the ride and they're getting all their stuff out of the locker. It's very full, very busy. It'd be great if it were now.

He's like, wait. People are getting their stuff in the locker. It's getting emptier. He's like, wait. I'm like, how about that? Wait. And all of a sudden it's no one is there. And all of a sudden I see an employee coming around the corner and there's no one to hide here. And he goes, now. And I walk through the door and there's an employee walking right by me. And I just keep walking there and she doesn't stop me. And there's Finn on the other side and we high five inside the lockers. So we're fucking gonna ride this thing. We skipped this whole line, we didn't go

and we walk around the corner and the guy goes, you can't ride with the hat to Finn. And he goes, okay. I'm like, I'm gonna go around the corner and just put that hat down, no problem, casualty of the day. And then I go, hold on a second. Although you need a ticket to get in this locker now that I don't have, in the future,

this locker is going to be opened by your pass from getting in here. And I take my pass and I put it on the locker and it goes boop and it opens and I take Finn's hat off the ground, I put it in the locker, we go in and we ride the ride. And when we were done, I bought the fucking photos. Yeah.

Sitting on my desk, me and Finn on the Tron Cycles front row, we got ourselves, we snuck into the ride due to Finn fucking Moscow. One, that was so much more engaging than the movie Tron. Two, it would have been so great if he's like, you can't wear that hat and Finn's like, that's a deal breaker for me, we're out. Yeah, Finn does like his hats.

He's in rocks to hats. He's got a Josh Meyers style in him, that's a deal breaker for me, we're out. Yeah. Finn does like his hats. He's in rock the hat. He's got a Josh Meyers style in him, that's for sure. Three, it's so funny to give a story that you lost your wallet and have that person go tell a person you literally just bribed. Like, I mean, you always say, oh, by the way, I lost it when I was trying to bribe her. I took the $50 out, she'll vouch for it.

She'll vouch for it. So I did have one at one point. Right, right, right. Will you just real quick, I think it was bribe her. I took the $50 out, she'll vouch for it. She'll vouch for it. So I did have one at one point. Right, right, right. Will you just real quick, I think it was you and Pep. You told me the story about a broken Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland Paris. I remember there was a ride and a guy dressed like Indiana Jones had to like go climb up a thing

because the ride was stuck. And as you told it to me, oh my God, neither of you remember that you guys both started singing the Indiana Jones theme song while like a teenager in France dressed like an Indian and the whole line started singing along with you like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Well, like I was like going to get something

that had stuck on the ride. I don't remember that story, but I love the story where I'm the hero and make people sing. It was probably somebody else, but for the purposes of the pot, it was you. No, no, no. We just, we do drugs at amusement parks. It's very possible it was us.

Thank you for your story. Give it up for Andrew Musgoes. Andrew Musgoes. Coming up next, I mean, one of our all time, one of the, one of the best, one of the best we've ever known, Miss Jill Benjamin. JB, everybody! We really want JB!

JB! JB! JB! JB! JB! JB! JB! JB!

JB! All right, Jill, before you start, and we talk about trips, and I told you I was gonna ask you about this, your mom and you have a long-running game you play with each other with a plastic tarantula. I told you I was gonna ask you about this. Your mom and you have a long-running game you play with each other with a plastic tarantula. So explain how it started and maybe the last couple.

It was Halloween and I think I was maybe in fifth grade and there's a plastic little, you know, Halloween spider, so a tarantula. And I started doing things where I would like place it on her pillow and she'd take her pillow, you know, blankets down, oh! And that's always her reaction. And then it got a little deeper where I was like

going to college and I was like, I'm just gonna put it like 50 plies of like Kleenex is deep and then it'll be winter and sure enough, she'll be blowing her nose and we, Benjamin's always have a Kleenex somewhere. And so she pulls it out. Oh, one of the best one was on the ceiling fan. It was winter so summer came and that surprised her.

And a lot of times I just wasn't at home. So we still do it to this day. But does she sometimes do it to you? Yes, yes. So then my mom does it back to me and now she uses my kids to do it to you? But you volley it back and forth because she says... Yes, yes. So then my mom does it back to me, and now she uses my kids to get it to me, and so she'll, like, sneak it in my suitcase, and then I do my mom.

I go, oh, mom, you got me! You know? So we do it a lot. But do you get legitimately scared in the moment, or now have you become desensitized to it? No, we do get scared because we take it to the, at restaurants now, I literally have to explain, don't worry, she's not gonna scream spider, but can you put this in her dish?

And do you have like a dome? Oh yeah. So I've done that before, and then, uh. A dome. We go to very fancy places. Yeah, Jill's mom will only at places with domes. With a dome. I also, this is different, but that thing about calling. I remember, it must have been like 2001,

that movie The Ring came out. And you, we always, one of the things we did when we all lived in Amstrad together was we'd go see horror movies together. That was a big part of our collective experience. And you said, I just saw The Ring with Josh, you have to tell me the night you're going to see it. Tell me before you go and see it. So I remember I called you and I'm like, hey, or I texted you. I'm like, I'm saw the ring with Josh, you have to tell me the night you're going to see it. Tell me before you go and see it.

So I remember I called you and I'm like, hey, or I texted you, I'm like, I'm gonna go see the ring. I'm going, you're like, what time are you gonna see it? I was like 8.30. And then that night at midnight, my phone rings. It's home phone. My home phone, it's back when you like have a home phone. And nobody had ever called the home phone.

So like it rings and a little bit of dust comes off it. And I went over and I answered it. Do you remember what you said into the phone? Seven days! And she hugged. It's literally the most scared I've been in my life. Just told the story to my kids because we were going to watch the ring. I explained this whole thing,

and I heard you at the other end of the phone go, Jesus Christ! That was a juke I got on. That was an old school juke. We also, I mean, this is not a family trip story, but when we used to go see movies here, we had a game that we I think loved. And I know that whoever was selling the tickets hated,

but you would order a ticket in the style of the movie. So I remember, I know like we would go see Spaceboys, and you'd go and you'd be like, could I get one for Space Cowboys? Brr, brr, brr. And then this poor ticket person would be like, okay, and then the next person would go like, one for Space Cowboys. And we would always order one ticket at a time.

Yeah, and then like the eighth person would walk up to the counter like... ... ......... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ... ...... Well, going back to juking with the spider is that the time that I got juked, the biggest, was Hillary was mentioning about the tonsils coming out. And so my guy friends know that I like gross things.

She called the doctor and they're like, can you just, he won't be freaked out. Put, replace one of the tonsils with this spider. Well, my mom actually wrote you a very detailed note because you requested to be a part of the spider gag. So my mom wrote a note going, it cannot be placed in a place where it will get lost, stolen or thrown away. And so Seth called me up and he goes, do you want to come and see my tonsils? And I was like, ew, who do you think I am?

I'm a lady. I'll be right over. So I came over and I remember being grossed out. You put it in Tupperware, and as I was opening it, you warned me, and you go, they're really black. And when I opened it up, oh! It was a spider.

It was really good. It was a joyless note from your mom. Like, it's such a fun prank, and then the letter really was, like, you mustn't put it into you. I'm like, oh, my God, this is so not fun. When my parents actually came to visit Amsterdam, I remember it was a beautiful time. I couldn't wait to show up in Chicago and all my friends.

We had... Seth and I had done our show, Pickups and Hiccups in Edinburgh. And it was such a fun time. And whenever you're there, I mean, I never dated the Dutch. I love you, Dutch, but there is not a man for me. I mean, it just didn't work out. I like sense of humors, but... Oh, yikes.

There was that one guy. Guess I'm not getting laid tonight. There was that, like, very, like, Nordic-looking Dutch guy that you like. Evo. One of the reasons... He worked in Horeca. One of the reasons Jill couldn't and shouldn't date Dutch people

is she's never not butchered their name or where they're from. The only Dutch I know from living here for one year is Maynada Landers is niet zo goed. Yeah, no kidding. So my parents came to Boom Chicago. I could not wait to show them off. And my best friend, Kara, happened to be visiting on her little stint that she had in France.

So as we were all there, we walked into Boom Chicago and all of a sudden I was like, and it wasn't the spider, but it was a guy that I had hooked up with in Edinburgh who decided to surprise me. Now, right, don't surprise people if it was a one night hookup, in fact, in Edinburgh. By the way, I love that the whole first 15 minutes

of this interview with you is how much you love surprises. And then all of a sudden, just a 180 on surprises. Not when you're not excited about it, right? Yeah, right. So the guy is there, and, you know, when you hook up with someone, and then months later they look a little worse. Well, there's nobody you want to have around to witness that

than these people. Yeah. So, I used to think he looked like Matthew McConaughey, right? He, like, kind of had a little bit of a wavy hair. But then we all thought he looked like the dad from Alf. So, he shows up and it's an awkwardness of, like, hey, Mom, they're like, how did you meet him? I'm like, um...

This is a guy that I had, like, purposely tried to get to an alleyway to make out with. It was no big deal. Didn't go further than that. But, um, so we do just... Just real quick. Yeah. My kids are here. Okay. Yeah.

But, and again, I'm not... What happened in the alleyway is not interesting to me. Trying to trick... Nothing! That's the problem. But trying to trick someone into an alleyway. Just real quick, what are the three steps for that? Oh. Oh. Is that... Is something glittering there? Somebody maybe...

Did someone trap a magic coin in an alleyway? Should we go look for the magic coin? Do I hear a hurt dog? He's really good at impressions. And really, really pretty accurate. So this man is there and we do our show and after the show it's called Schmoozing. You go out, right, and you just start talking to people.

So this guy, he comes out, and he comes up to us, and I'm like, God, not only is that long hair, it's not working for me, but his fly was down. And I was like, oh, God. That's why you gotta wear pants like this. No fly. Yeah. The only bad news is it's just easier to pee yourself.

So he walks up and I've got Seth and my best friend Kara and my parents are like, all right, we're going to go back. And so they go back to where they were staying. And so it's me, you and Kara. And this guy says, so long hair fly down and he goes, do you want to see a magic trick? And he had been traveling around Europe since I saw him last doing magic,

and I was like, oh, sure. He goes, I'm just going to go to the bathroom real quick. I'll come back and I'll do that trick. And then I looked at you and I said, you can go ahead and go. And you go, no, no, no, I'm staying for this. I'm going to stay for this. Ah! So he comes back out of the bathroom.

He's like, all right, does anybody... And then he came back out. His fly was somehow twice as open. He comes out with a pack of cigarettes. I was like, oh, now he's gonna smoke. You gotta still wait for this trick. And he goes, I'm just gonna go grab a... And he just throws the cigarette box out out and it just starts levitating I mean it was just a really incredible

trick he's doing his hands around to show there's no wires or smoke and mirrors I mean it was really really cool and then we realized how he did the trick was that he went to the bathroom to put the invisible string behind his ear and attached it to the box and then Seth leaned in and goes you know the real magic would be if you went to the bathroom and came back and your fly was up. And where are your parents during all this? They went away, thank God. They lost their luggage. My mom, who likes to accessorize, was when we went from Amsterdam

to Paris with no luggage for them. It was awful for them, but they really enjoyed the show. And the thing that they always, always loved, and I know Larry and Hillary as well, is watching Pickups and Hickups. You guys are our biggest fans, so thank you. Jill Benjeren, there's no one like her.

No one like her, the best there ever was. Give it up for JB everybody. JB! JB! Thank you. This next gentleman not only was a Boom Chicago performer with us, but was in a fraternity with Seth and I at Northwestern University.

Give it up for Mr. Peter Gross. Yay, congratulations! a fraternity with Seth and I at Northwestern University. Give it up for Mr. Peter Gross. Yeah, you ready? Yeah. Wow. I'm not what I was planning on talking about, but Brando's story remind me, do you remember the time we were at Efteling and one of us forgot a coat at the coat check booth and it was raining harder than I've ever been. It rained so hard, yeah.

And you and I ran back while the buses were waiting for us, and we ran back all the way through the park, and we got to this little cabin, and this is probably apocryphal, but there was one coat on one hanger in an empty cabin, and the woman was like, number please? And we were both like, I'm like, that's the code. Number please. Number that one? Why don't you tell me what that number is and I'll tell you what mine is.

I should ask you number please, lady. So did your parents come and visit you here? My parents did. My parents had like a big life change. The year that I came here, they had sold their place and their house and they were like, were just like traveling through Europe. They were doing like some weird post-college backpack thing. They were like in their sixties and while I was here.

So they came here and then they went to France and like lived in the south of France and stuff like that. And they were here for just a little bit. But my thing is like, I don't have a huge story for them here, but I do have a good European travel story. Before I tell it, I have two things. I also was here visiting once and there was a good movie story of like the way that you order the movie tickets and the way that the style of the movie, which was we went and saw the mummy and it was eight people being like, and the first time the first person walked up was like, Oh my God.

And then like they nobody spoke. Nobody like broke character of a mummy and the person had to figure out what movie it was. So I was like, uh, yeah. And they were like, uh. Yeah, like Joy Luck Club, Ants. Oh, mummy, uh. And I'm like, oh, thank God, and it's seven poor people. But by that point they had figured it out.

But that's one of my favorite of that genre. So my dad was born in Romania. Give it up for Romania. No, okay, that's fine. But so he was born in Romania, and it was after he became communist and everything, he immigrated out and came to the United States. And it was after he became communist and everything, he immigrated out and came to the United States. And the first time that we went back there was 1980,

and I was six, and he still had relatives that lived there, an aunt and uncle, but everybody had left. Like all of his friends got out and moved to other places. So we go, and there's these two portraits of like my dad's, my dad's like great great grandparents. It's like mid-1800s. People who I guess they had a little bit of money they could sit for some portraits and my dad wanted them and this was like at a time when we went to Romania it was so communist. How communist was it? It was so communist like when they when they

brought you rolls at dinner it wasn't just like here's some bread? It was so communist. Like when they brought you rolls at dinner, it wasn't just like, here's some bread. It was like, at the end of it, they were like, okay, you had four rolls, I'm gonna add that to the list of the things. Everything was like super tight and very, very controlled. And my dad was like, we can't just take these paintings out. You can't just enter with no paintings

and then leave with paintings. So he basically was like, we have to smuggle these paintings out of Romania. And it's 1980, it's like just the height of the Cold War and I'm six and I'm involved, I'm like conscripted into a smuggling ring to get these paintings out of Romania. So my dad, who is like an investment banker

and just like a sweet normal guy except for the times that he is horses you hold toilet paper. Side note Seth lived in an apartment that my dad had in Manhattan and over the summer between our software together years. We lived there together and my father and mother like it was it was his cousin's apartment, and he got himself on the lease because of rent controlled rules, where you're like allowed to have

a very, very cheap apartment, and it was a beautiful location right near Central Park. So then the summer between sophomore and junior year, we each got internships in New York City, and we got to live in this apartment, except for, for those two months, except for the two weeks each month one week each month two total for the summer where there was a guy who my parents were friends with who was an interior designer who lived in Arkansas who would come to New York

and my dad kicked us out of the apartment so then we stayed with my parents in Westchester County north of New York City and when we did he would come and clean this apartment so fastidiously, and he did, just to have a friend visit, and he would fold the toilet paper on the roll into a triangle the way they do it. Not every hotel, it's not that standard, but at very fancy hotels. And he would get, like he did it once,

and then I used the toilet paper afterwards, and then he went back and he was like, who used the toilet paper? He got so angry. It was definitely the day where I realized a lot of your upbringing was your dad yelling at you for using toilet paper after you had been folding. Like 90% of it.

And then when we lived together, I really had to fight yelling at you while the toilet paper was off. I'm the opposite of a paper folder. Yeah. We're a real odd couple when it comes to throw paper. Anyway, so back to Romania. So my dad is very mild-mannered and not... He's calm in some instances, but he gets very obsessive.

So he knows this is happening, where he's going to sort of smuggle these paintings out. He learns how to like coat them with something because this is 1980, they're like 130 years old or whatever it is. He coats them with something so that when you roll them up, they don't crack. He rolls them up, he paints them very, very like gently, rolls them up, puts them in not like poster poster tubes from a store, puts them in these elongated sacks or something that make them not look like paintings. And then we are taking a train out of Romania

to Yugoslavia to, I guess, freedom? But then we get on the train and he very nonchalantly is doing all this stuff and then we get on the train, and he very like sort of nonchalantly is doing all this stuff, and before we get on the train, he looks at my sister and I, and he's like, there's going to be customs people, and just act normal, don't do anything, because if we get caught, we're going to be in really big trouble.

And it's like, my sister was, she's three years older, but she's a spy. She's a professional spy, so she was... She's nine. Yeah. She's nine, I'm six. And you can't be more freaked out in my life, I would imagine, than like your parents telling you that like somebody who's like an agent of like a foreign communist power in the height

of the Cold War is going to get you in trouble, because it's not like, oh, we got in trouble. It was like, we're going to be in jail. And so he puts them up. We sit down, and we're riding for a bit. And then the time comes to have the papers moment happens. Train slows to a stop. It's like the storm troopers get on the train. And they do walk as slowly and as confidently as you think they're going to. They're just looking on the train and you know, they do walk as slowly and as confidently

as you think they're going to. They're just like looking around the train and trying to find like the person who's acting weird, because they mean there's something weird going on. And I think to my credit, my fear just manifested as like stone cold stillness. I didn't do anything, they were like right above our heads, just kind of like generally looking around, asked for our passports and stuff, but there was a

moment when one of the guys just looked down at me and made eye contact with this guy. I looked up at him and he was like, and how are you? And I was like, I'm okay. And didn't say anything. We kept going. They got off the train. The train moved along. And I have never been so happy in my life to be in Yugoslavia. Yeah. Yeah. And I made it out.

And those paintings are in my mom's apartment today. And I was like, so I'm an addition too, thank you. In addition to, you know, anything you may have seen me in or know my writing credits, I'm also an international art smuggler. So if anyone needs any help with that. Now I want to redo the scene. I'll be the customs agent. And I want you to be a kid who's bad at it.

Yeah, who's bad at it. So now you're bad at hiding the fact. Yes, hello. Hi! How are you young man? Just fine, not smuggling anything, just like a normal day, cool. Not bringing anything back? No, no. Not smuggling anything. Just like a normal day. Cool. Not bringing anything back?

No, no. Do you... Like, what if... Like, let me ask you, Chris. If somebody was smuggling paintings, like, what would be, like, the punishment? Yes, we frown on people bringing back paintings. What are in these long knot tubes? Those are... Dad! Well, I'm very impressed you pulled it off. Yeah, it was pretty incredible. I had a test too. I only lived here for six months, but I did come back a lot and visit.

So I feel like I have trips of coming back to Amsterdam, like when you guys were here, like to see people over the years. You were also in one of the great newspaper articles of all time. Oh my god. A very short, Pete was here for a very short time and is in one of the greatest triptychs. Was it three photos? That's a great, brilliant triptych. So if I talk about the junkie bridge where you can sell bikes to folks here.

I think it's the junkie bridge from the bygone era. Yeah, anyway, so this is 1997, the year that I was there. A lot of very, very cheap bikes in Amsterdam. They would get stolen all the time. There was a bridge that's near the university. And it was called the Junkie Bridge. At least by us. I don't know if it was just us that called it the Junkie Bridge. Well, I'm repeating things that I did not make up. Locals called it the Yunky Bridge. Yeah, exactly. They were like, we're most proud of that bridge. It's beautiful.

We called it the home. No, but it was a bridge where you could go to, you know, when we got here, when we got here, Andrew and Pep called it that, so you can blame them. But they said, you know, just go there cheap, five guilders, just go buy a bike. You'll spend more on your lock than you will your bike. And so we went and bought bikes and the junkies were selling bikes there and they stole it from somewhere else. It's part of the economy, it's just the way it was.

It's good for the goose, it's good for the camel. Yeah, exactly. It was just like you're greasing the wheels. It was capitalism. And the best thing about it is you weren't incentivizing them to steal more bikes. No, you were like, this is the last one. I'll buy this on one condition. Yeah. Yeah. OK, I swear. Good. We shook on it.

And then, yeah, so then so I had my bike and I lived here a few months. My girlfriend comes to visit from America and I'm like, oh, so we'll go down there and I'll just get her bike. And I go down and I realize no forethought. I have 50 guilders on me which is five times as much as a bike cost. So I go and I tell the guy like hey I want to buy a bike but like do you have change? Which is so not something he had and he's like no and then I'm like, I'm stuck and she's right there.

And I just, it was like a dumb, like, just fine, fine, okay, fine. Here's 50. We were not getting paid enough money for me to be doing this. So I gave it to him. We started walking away. And then, you know, there wasn't a lot of quality control down at the Junkie Bridge. So my girlfriend starts riding and it's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I think Jill would do a good job impersonating

the way the bike sounded and looked. Jill, can I impersonate you? Ah, ah, ah, ah. So the bike is a complete mess, and she's like, I can't ride this for the next five days. So we go back, and I'm like, hey, can you? What's the return policy on these? We're like, yeah, we were just here,

we were just here, do were just here in your memory, I'm the guy in the blue shirt, and I tried to switch it, and he's basically just like, uh, no, I'm like doing business here, man. It would be like, hey, I just did some of this cocaine that I bought from you, I don't think it's that good, I'd like to get, can we swap it out for some different cocaine?

So he's like, no, he just straight up no. And then I looked at my pants and I'm like, I have another 20 Gilders. Can I just get another one? And he's like, sure. And I'll take that one back. Because then he's just going to sell it to someone else. So I spent 70 Gilders on a bike, which is 12 and a half times or whatever it is, more than you should spend. So that whole thing happens. The next day I walk into the to Boom Chicago in the afternoon the bartender is like, hey you're in the newspaper! And I was like, what are you talking about? And he's like, you didn't see Het Parool today? And granted, listen, like Jill, I didn't learn Dutch this year. I wasn't reading Het Parool. Like, oh what's

going on in the Dutch Parliament? And so I look at the paper, and it is like a full expose about, like, what's going on at the junkie brug? They must have used the word junkie. And it's three pictures. It is me walking up to the guy, me handing him money, and then me getting on the bike. It was, like, the perfect, perfect, perfect bike.

The best would be if the inside was the other three pictures of you trying to return it. Yeah. And there's like a second story of like, American tries to return bike to junkie. Junkies are a problem. Americans are stupid. And I will say, exactly. At least there's no junkies, but he's a complete idiot.

But they also, I mean, they pixelated out my face just barely, just barely. And the guy was like, hey, that's you. And you know, like, I got like crazy ass bow legs. Like, my body is very specific even with the pixelation, but it was like the perfect, the perfect crime. But of course nobody can. You called it after all. You were like, you got was like the perfect crime. But of course nobody cared. You called it a parole, you were like, you gotta un-bow my legs. Yeah, exactly. They're like, sir, we tried, it's not possible.

And I, but here's, I'll bring my parents into it, I told them the story, they did not laugh. They did not find it funny. I think my dad was more disappointed about the economics of it. He was like, you spent 70 guilders on two shitty bikes. He's like, I tried to teach you the importance of this when we were smuggling paintings. Yeah, exactly.

I don't even care about those paintings. It was just to teach you a lesson. Thank you, Pete. It's great to see you, buddy. Give it up for Pete Gross. Love you. And last but not least, friend of the show, Mr. Ike Barinholtz. Give it up for Ike, everybody.

What do you got there? What are you drinking there? I hope the rave was good, Josh, and Seth, I hope you had a good hike. Hey, real quick, before we start. I just want to thank Airbnb for hooking you guys up with this. Thank you. It sounds great. Yeah.

I paid for plane tickets for me and my wife and my kids. Yep. We're staying at a hotel. Yeah, well, that's what it's like. It's cheap, right? Oh, it's really cheap, yeah. So I'm going to be funny and interesting for the next 10 minutes in good faith that we will figure the financials of this out.

We were at the Grote Milkhous today. The Grote Milkhous. And Big Milk was your nickname when you were in Amsterdam. I love it when they call me Big Milk. Hey, I'm sitting next to your love it when they call me Big Milk, Pete. Hey, I'm sitting next to your son and he turns to me and goes, what's a thong? So I showed him the one I wear.

Yes, I told him it's okay, sometimes men wear thongs. Yeah. The concept of bribery has come up a couple times tonight and I know we were in Vegas, I think maybe for our friend Dave Buckman's bachelor party, and you tried to bribe a bouncer. Do you remember what happened? I will just say real quick,

I've talked a lot about palm greasing, and I think some people are like just very well, you know, they're constituted to try to do a subtle bribe. I would guess you're good at it. I normally am great. Okay. And I have no problem telling a story because I didn't bring my fucking kids to this podcast.

And they will never hear it. Oh, in that case, Jordan Peele was talking to Ike in the lawn. I didn't even know he'd come. No shit. Big surprise. I like that I thought more about your kids than you're thinking about mine. Maybe I took a little nap in front of Monsieur Cannibal, which I am optioning and turning

into a movie that you'll see in two years. It's available. They realized that was racist in 2017. But it sounds fancy. Monsieur. Yeah. We were in Las Vegas and, man, the story's so fucking embarrassing. We were in Las Vegas, and we really wanted a drug that would help you dance, perhaps.

Okay. And we couldn't get that. And then we were like, well, what if there's another drug that makes you just kind of stay up and talk about opening a restaurant one day maybe or some fucking dumb shit. And so I was like, I called, I remember I texted a guy and I was like, do you have anything? And he was like, this is his girlfriend, he's in jail. And I was like, oh shit, whatever. And so I was just like- You were like, does he still have his one call? How does he feel about a conjugal visit? You guys wait here, I'll be back in two hours.

So no, so I was just like, this is Vegas, right? This is a town that was built by the mafia and is built on greasing palms and stuff. So I walked up to a bouncer and I was like, hey man, how you doing? You ever seen Mad TV? No, I like, hey man, how you doing? You ever seen Mad TV? No? No, I go, hey man, how you doing?

It's so awkward to ask, but do you have any coke? And he goes, yeah, yeah, come here. And we get into this little elevator and we go down to the first floor and he opens, he goes, have a good night, shoves me out. But I think you also, because I think you gave him two or three hundred dollars, because then when we found you again you were like, I just gave that guy three

hundred dollars to be mean to me. However, when he shoved you out, Finn was there and he's like, come with me. Come in the back by the Tron slot machine. By the way, Kareese reminded me, we're talking about movies and movie bits and stuff. We have to shout out Joe Canale, who would do this bit every time we would see a movie, which is we would all go in

and after we did our stupid space cowboys, we would get our tickets and we would sit and he would lag behind and he would go and get a large bucket of popcorn and then he would like lag behind and he would go and get like a large bucket of popcorn and then he would enter the theater and he would walk past us if we're like sitting here, he would walk past us, go to the front of the theater. And go. And his popcorn shooting in the sky.

He naturally has the silhouette of a Muppet. Yeah. He does. It was like a Muppet date. It looked like a Muppet came in late with a thing of popcorn. Muppet date. Yeah. He never wanted to eat the popcorn. It was only to throw it in the air.

He did it. We went to the Tchinsky to see Star Wars The Phantom Menace. Yeah, we were very excited. Yeah. Little did we know. It was a packed theater with lots of children. And he did it. And the theater just exploded.

People were like, oh my God! Yeah. It was really good. The other bit that never took off that I always enjoyed is there used to be a Grosch commercial before every movie, and we'd all buy Grosches, and Josh invented the game that you would try to pop your Grosch at simultaneous.

At the same time. At the same time, at the pop. Yeah, it was very cool. And it was great, and a lot of times, there were a lot of commercials, and you would really want to open that beer when it was cold. Yeah, yeah. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time.

At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time.

At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time.

At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. At the same time. I didn't like them when I was behind them in line for the mummy bit, but I really don't like them now. They're slowly winning me over. They're so impressed with their little games. Speaking of, we played our children in baseball today in Fondle Park. Yeah. They beat us. They beat us, yeah.

It was very embarrassing. I also think I threw my neck out. Yeah. Mine was already thrown out. Oh, God. Being old is cool. Hey, look at you guys. I don't think you guys look alike. Okay. Okay. I don't.

All right. You're the one. I think you look like a Jewish orthodontist in upstate New York, and you look like you were born on a fjord. It's like a different thing. I've always said this. This is not new. Which of those two is handsomer? You still haven't said which one of us is handsomer. They're both handsome. One of you just might be more prone to stomach trouble. Listen, listen. I was going to tell a

story like when my parents came, but I think I might have even told that on family trips before where we smoked. Short story short, my dad smoked weed for the first time, did not handle it well, freaked out. Next night, my brother, we were all going somewhere and he told, he whispers to me, I can't ride a bike. And I remember this like kind of hot Dutch woman we were with goes, you can't ride a bike? Very emasculating.

So that's that story. I'm going to tell a different story. Real quick, your dad smoked so much weed that he said I'm going to quit being a lawyer and be an actor in LA. And it did work. It took him about 15 years, but he did it. I'm going to tell a story about our friend, Dave Stassen,

who's like a brother to us. When when he came to visit us one time visit me He didn't really know you guys, but he he and my other best friend Brian green from Chicago were coming out I was so excited to see them and and The day they were coming in this Young Dutch lady who I was friendly with was like, I'm going to the beach with some friends. Do you want to join us? And I was like, yeah, sure. So we go to the beach, and I'd never been to a

Dutch beach or a European beach before. And I was not prepared for what happens there. Titties. All right? So listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Guys, everyone calm down. I, we're all the older generation. The amount I wish your daughters were here right now. I know. I'm so glad they're not. Just as a buffer.

I really am like, oh, he's not joking. Oh, dear God, we wouldn't have closed with Ike if we knew he was coming alone. So this girl and her friends take their tops off and I'm just like a dog. Like I'm older and we come from a generation where like seeing naked, seeing any kind of breasts live, still to this day I'm 48 and like if my wife is changing I'm like oh like I'm like you know it's like you just they're great and you know you love them and yeah we love them

so we're sitting there and they're topless and I'm just like trying to be cool you know like staring at the fucking whatever North say, Nord to say. Yeah. Yeah. I still got it. It's got the best beaches. They're famous.

So, so, and they're like drinking wine and it's so cool and they're so topless. And like I just, I just didn't put on any kind of sunscreen or anything. Because I also in my mind, I was like, sunburn in Holland? Yeah. What? No. So we take the train home.

And the train ride, I'm like, man, it's really hot on this train. It's like cranking the heat. And we had two shows that night. My friends were coming in. It was a big night. And I get back to our apartment. I think I was living with you over on Don't Tell Me 3, 2, 1. I can't in, it was a big night, and I get back to our apartment, I think I was living with you over on, don't tell me three, two, one, shh.

I can't remember what was it. I couldn't tell you. Yeah. Puts and stride. Puts and stride, boom, boom. Thank you, Sassy. Can you say boom when someone gives it to you? Always.

I'm always pumping the brand, pumping the company. So I take a shower and I get a shower and I am like a lobster. I'm bright red, I look fucking crazy, and I feel horrible, I feel so bad. And my friends come to the first show and I'm feeling really bad. And I walk out on stage playing Jerry Springer. This was a very smart show we were doing, by the way. I'm playing Jerry Springer and I come out and I look like a... people just start laughing when I come on stage. I'm like way past the color of your shirt. I look awful. I'm sweating.

More like this. Yeah, it's just bright, very jarring and my skin is like puffing up a little bit and it really sucks. And the worst part of the sunburn was like, I don't know why, this part like from my like... Because it never sees the sunburn was like, I don't know why this part, like from my, like, like, because it never sees the sun. Because it never sees the sun. And maybe because I was like this, like, like trying to not look directly at topless women. I don't know. I don't know. Your thighs. My thighs were cooked. Yeah. And then such pain, you know. And, and so one point, like during the the show or maybe before the

second show one of the waitresses God bless you was like do you want some yogurt you should put some yogurt on your legs and I was like yeah yeah yeah well and I good call good call yeah whatever I've never by the way I've known you now for a quarter century I don't think I've ever heard you say that sounds like a bad idea. So I go backstage at one point and I'm just like, I'm such pain. And I sit in a chair and I pull down my pants and I'm like, I have yogurt over, over like all over my thighs and I have like ice cups that I'm rolling on there. I'm just going like, ah.

And at one point, like at the old theater, like our dressing room was like right next to the ladies bathroom. And so I have my back to the door and some audience member thinks this is the bathroom and comes in and opens it as I'm like no pants going oh with white cream shooting about I'm like oh god and she was like oh shit and she walks out and then I saw her I was like oh no no no and so then I get up I'm like it's a common

cure I should have been like I have have sunburn, but I didn't. I was like, the bathroom's next door. Never fucking heard a knocking. And so then I clean up, and I go back on stage. And I always just wondered, when I came on stage, what did she say to her friend? Like, oh, I saw him masturbating backstage, moments ago. And so then my friends were like,

they came to the show and they're like, are you okay? And I was like, no, I have to go home. And I went to Hudson Stratton late in bed for two days, I didn't hang out with my friends at all. It was the shittiest trip ever for me, for they had a great time. The only thing that would have been worse for you is if you'd went to the doctor and he's like,

it's actually not a sunburn. You had an allergic reaction to seeing a naked woman's breasts. And you have to never look at him again. Kill me. You got to do assisted suicide here, right? You took advantage of their loose euthanasia policy. You're the only 31-year-old ever to do this. Thank you so much for sharing one of my favorite Ike stories. You're the only 31-year-old ever to do this. Thank you so much for sharing one of my favorite Ike stories. You're the best, buddy.

Love you guys. Love family trips. Welcome to Chicago. Ike Barron, Ike. So proud. So proud of you. All right. All right.

Do I leave? You can leave, yeah. Bye. It's really funny that Ike said, do I leave, considering he was the first person to leave, yeah. It's really funny that Ike said, do I leave, considering he was the seventh guest. No, they all stay. Do we do some final questions? Yeah, should we do some final questions?

So we usually ask the final questions to our guests, but we've asked a lot of them final questions. So Josh is going to ask the final question, and guests, but we've asked a lot of them the final questions. So Josh is gonna ask the final question, and I'm gonna point to a random audience member to get their answer. Okay? So here we go. Also, I just wanna say, did anyone get hurt by my glasses? Did I hurt?

Okay, all right. It has been a concern of mine throughout this entire show. I'm very sorry. I cannot stress you how little I thought of that. Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational? Right there in the stripes. Yes. Relaxing, educational.

What are the other ones? Oh, boy. You really don't pay attention. You're the one who asked. Relaxing, adventurous, educational. Saw a bird. Solved a murder. What is it? Relaxing. Very good. What's the next one?

What is your favorite means of transportation? Raise a hand if you have a favorite means of transportation. I guess everybody has one. There's one right over there. Just yell it out. Train. We love trains. Who also loves trains? Yeah We need better trains If you could take a vacation with any family alive or dead real or fictional other than your own family What family would you like to take a trip with? Come on somebody raise?

Raise a hand if you're gonna yell one out The Myers family is a good pick. Myers, bring your own clock, because we don't share. Do you have one? What's your favorite? The Full House family. That's a good one. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be and why? Yeah.

Yes, right there. Your dog. Your dog. That's my mother-in-law sitting next to your wife. Yeah. And she's going to take her dog. Also, I think, how many dogs do you have? Four.

Lola, right? In your head, you just picked a favorite of four dogs. It's Lola. Lola the dog. You knew it was Lola. Yeah, I knew it was Lola. Sorry, honey. Yeah.

And someone who's from an obscure place that thinks that their obscure place would make for a great vacation destination. Aruba. You're from Aruba? All right, I think Aruba has a good reputation for a vacation destination. Anybody from some place that they feel like has a bad reputation for a vacation destination that they think would actually make... Yes.

Brazil. Again, I think people want to go to Brazil. I want to go to Brazil. Jersey Shore has a bad reputation, but it is genuinely a good place to go on vacation. Good family vacation. All right, anybody else from a... Yes, right there, sir. Nigeria. All right, that's good to hear. What is, if somebody was gonna go to Nigeria for a family vacation, where should they go? Calabar, and what would we experience in Calabar? What's that? They eat dogs there.

Okay, you didn't say that, right. We'll put the first two and then, Yeah. We'll put Ike saying they're topless people at the beach. We'll just edit it in. I think that's all we got. Hey everybody, it is so wonderful for us to be home with our Boone family and to do a family trips here.

Thank you so much for joining us this afternoon. Thank you guys. Thank you Sufi. Have a great one everybody. Good night. It's just amazing. Thanks to all who came to see the show. At the one and only Boom Chicago. Me and my bro worked here so long ago.

Seth lost his tonsils. He'd been getting strep so very long. The woman in his room, she wore a thong. Mom said, those aren't underpants They are just wrong So very wrong When Brendan's sister came Took her to Efteling in the rain But when it stopped, how can I explain? They'd gone insane They had mushroom brains And Andrew and his son didn't get tickets for the Rytron So Finn suggested that they just be gone After Andrew he tried bribery Our buddy Peter went to buy a bike some junkie stole

The news photographer was on patrol Was in the morning paper, had parole. The dude surprised Jill, unannounced her parents in town on a trip. on a trip. Asked her, do you want to see a magic trick? His fly was down, thank God, couldn't see his dick. What a prick. I went to the North Sea, Holland in summer, it's the place to be Plus the Dutch are cool with nudity Didn't expect to see They'd get boobies Sunscreen was not applied As a result, Ike was a sunburned guy A woman opened the door, didn't believe her eyes

Had to wonder why This live episode of Family Trips from Amsterdam was recorded in partnership with Airbnb.