Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - IKE BARINHOLTZ Thought Jamaica Had the Best Hamburgers

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

From his trip to Jamaica to his Amsterdam escapades, all the way through to his dad becoming a star on a recent tv show, Ike Barinholtz is today's hilarious guest (and also the honorary Meyers brother). Thanks again to Nissan for sponsoring this episode of Family Trips and for the reminder to find your more. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Head to factormeals.com/trips50 and use code trips50 to get 50% off. Thank you to McDonalds for supporting this episode. McDonalds is 'Now Serving.' Much more than orders. Listen to Podcrushed every Wednesday wherever you listen to podcasts. 

This episode of Family Trips is brought to you by Nissan. Whether you want more adventure, more electric, more action, more guts, or more turbocharged excitement, Nissan is here to make sure you get it. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Hi, Pashi. Sufi. This is a very exciting one today. Oh, man. Almost like a third brother in a lot of ways. Yeah.

Well, this is the first, I think, the first guest on the show, other than our parents, that one of us fully lived with. Yeah. In a couple countries. You were roommates with Ike Barinholtz, our guest today, in Amsterdam, and then you lived with him for years in Los Angeles. Yeah. And I had a choice, because he was going to be

my roommate in Amsterdam. I was already living there and there were two new cast members coming out. This is at Boom Chicago, the theater we worked together with in Amsterdam. Yeah.

And the way Ike was described is he's like an overgrown like child who just wants to like party and have fun. And I was like, yeah, give me one of those. Yeah. And it was fabulous.

Great roommate, great cook. That's not really why I wanted him as a roommate. I just sort of wanted someone who was fun to hang out with. You just wanted a baby who loved to party. Yeah. Yeah. You lived in a house that is now was was torn to the ground in los angeles yes yes yeah hollywood and curse sunset and curse on sunset and curse on it was called camp hollywood

by you it was not called camp hollywood by like the trades yeah but our friend colton dunn i feel like put the official moniker on it but yes it was uh it was a lot of great parties were held there it was a very shitty house it was an old craftsman and we would have parties when i was living there and there might be sometimes like over the course of a night 500 people in and out yep yeah there was a few details i remember about that home because I feel like I lived there two summers. Yeah. On my couch.

You slept on my couch. And I was on SNL time. I was an SNL cast member sleeping on my brother's couch in the shittiest house in Los Angeles, which really speaks to how little you get paid your first year on SNL. But there was a lemon tree in the backyard yeah that you wouldn't give up on i mean well like i bought a lawnmower and i you know i used to mow lawns as a kid it was like my my job one of my jobs a lot of people know how to mow lawns even if they didn't do it as kids yeah but i sort of have a real love of it i see i see yeah this by the way the very

fact that you're saying i would mow the lawn this was a tiny backyard yeah but if you're not mowing it it's not maintained you can't uh you know we also had a uh croquet set and i challenge you to play croquet on a lawn that has never been mowed so Okay, so it required some maintenance. Yeah. And in that maintenance, there was some maintenance for the lemon tree. Did you ever eat any of the lemons from the lemon tree? I don't think they were very good. I remember them being especially tart. They were pretty tart. When I moved out, they figured out that they had rats in that house. Apparently rats love a citrus tree. And they found out they had rats by setting five rat traps. And then the first night they went five for five. They somehow caught six rats. The rat traps, they caught five rats and then another rat who came

across the bodies was so despondent, he took his own life. It was a real Romeo and Juliet. It was a real, yeah, it was a real radio and Juliet. Now, Ike had a dog named Max

who sort of looked like a big rat. A little bit, yeah. Is that accurate? Yeah. But like a very well fed, sort of a small. A beloved rat, yes.

Now, I remember one day, and help me figure out the logistics of how this happened. You were on the second floor. Yeah. You could go out your window and go on the roof. Yes. And then there was a trellis, like an ivy trellis. I realized that ivy trellis makes this sound fancy.

It was not fancy, but it was an ivy trellis that went sort of over the driveway. Uh-huh. And I don't know how this happened, but I heard crying. It sounded like somewhere between a child crying or sort of a rat concert. And I couldn't figure out where the noise was coming from.

And I walked out, and somehow Max, the dog, had gotten on the roof and then tried to walk onto the trellis, and his four little sausage legs went through like four different holes yeah and he was just sort of wriggling around in the ivy and had to fish him out of it but was max often on the roof yes because if you'd open the windows that were just above the sort of height of the couch that you slept on you could just get right out. It was like very easy. It was like the couch became steps to get you onto the roof. And if Max was inside and wanted to be outside, there was a lot to look at from that roof.

Yeah. And we had like a couple lawn chairs up there. And a lot of times you'd get home and Max would just be tip-tapping around up there. And a lot of people would say you should have known not to let the dog on the roof. Yeah. Historically, that's not a good place for a dog. I mean, he was very smart.

He never fell off the roof. He just fell into the trellis, which was sort of like a fake bridge. Yeah. When I fished Max out of the trellis, I didn't think, this dog's smart. That wasn't my takeaway. Well, he could be forgiven. He doesn't know of the trellis, I didn't think, this dog's smart. That wasn't my takeaway. Well, he could be forgiven.

He doesn't know what a trellis is. I feel as though, and tell me if this is your memory, that oftentimes cars would be sort of parked on the street outside the home where I feel like sexual acts were being traded for cash. Yeah, there was a documentary called American Pimp. And it goes to like, I don't know, five or six cities. And, you know, it's about sort of prostitution. And there's a section on Los Angeles.

The section that they highlighted for Los Angeles was Sunset and like Gardner to Sunset and Fairfax. And we were right in the pocket there. So yeah, there was some shady business going on. We were also right behind the parking lot of a liquor store. And so that parking lot was a place where a lot of shady activity could take place. One of my favorite details about the walking distance to Meltdown Comics. Oh, yeah. So I would go, I would walk. I would walk down a street that was more populated by people, maybe hopeful to exchange money for sex acts, and I would go get my little comic books and carry them right back and tip my cap.

And when they would see you with your comic books, they would know you weren't interested. Yeah, that's a real, sorry, more important things afoot. It's what's new comic day? Tuesday, Wednesdays? Wednesdays. I can't believe, how do you not know? Because I don't care.

But we spent so much time together. Yeah, I mean, I said Tuesday, Wednesday. I got to Wednesday. It was my second guess. Out of seven, there were seven options, and you got I said Tuesday, Wednesday. I got to Wednesday. It was my second guess. Out of seven, there were seven options, and you got on second try. Congratulations. Well, based on that,

I'm not going to tell you what Batman's been up to. And we have a wonderful conversation with our friend, Ike Barinholtz. But first, listen to a wonderful little song by our friend, Jeff Tweedy. Family trips with the Myers brothers first listen to a wonderful little song by our friend jeff tweedy oh oh i thought this was the bobby lee podcast Here we go Oh! Oh! I thought this was the Bobby Lee podcast.

No, this is... How dare you? This is not Tiger Belly? This is not Tiger Belly. Not only is this family trips with the Myers brothers, but there could be an argument, Josh and I have not discussed this, there could be an argument that you are the closest thing to a third Myers brother.

I've been saying this for years. Oh boy, not at all yeah no i'm honored but i've it's it's like it's already in my mind this it's already i've already been honored it makes the most sense yeah because you know seth has his college friends hadley hadley stradley Stradley Stradley it's close enough um and then you know his his kind of like comedy showbiz friends like I don't know John Oliver sure dear friend and Joshy has his showbiz friends but I'm in the Venn diagram. And Josh, he has his old friends. But in the Venn diagram, I'm the biggest presence in the shared circle. That's true. And you don't have any college friends because you didn't finish college, right? Well, if we're going to go there right away.

Yeah. You know what? I didn't. Did you make any friends your first year? My first and only year at college, I had my roommate was a guy named Himo Ku, who I loved. He was great. Introduced me to kimchi, which I love to this day. Yeah.

Now, I should note that is on a long list of 100 foods you would say you love to this very day. And then I was friends with like a couple guys who were just like, I would say like, at the time, I thought they were like oh those are bad guys like they're just they're just trouble now they're all like married with children and they're like really nice and have like good you know nice jobs and stuff but there was one guy hung out with who was a criminal he stole a bunch of stereo equipment from another guy in the dorm so it sounds like three out of four you made three three out of four good friends. Yeah, yeah. Do you guys go away?

Do you guys do trips? You and those guys? Yeah, we do. You and Hemo and those other two guys? Yeah, we're all in fantasy hockey. And once a year, we do a draft together and we change different locations based on the winner. It's just the four of us in the league.

And none of us are what I would call hockey fans. So it's not like a great league or anything but i love those guys i want to start the reason we know you like is that we all work together in amsterdam at boom chicago an improv comedy theater that's based in amsterdam started by some chicago guys uh some 30 years ago now basically second city and whose line is it anyways had a baby and that baby was raised in amsterdam is how i would describe it that's a good way of saying it and you and josh were roommates yes then you were roommates in la i spent a few summers in la uh living with you guys so that's as far as your third brother status, we've lived with you.

You know our parents. We know your parents. Yes. The love for our parents goes both ways. Yeah. You have a brother. Pretty similar age difference to Josh and I. What do you got?

How many years between you and Johnny? Six years between me and Johnny. Oh, so it's bigger. It's way bigger. But you guys grow up in Chicago. Yes. The four of you. You're a core four family as well. I just wanted to marinate for a second. I am the best friend that's been on this podcast.

And we've had a lot of good friends, but you're the best friend that's been. Suck it, Pete Davidson. Yep. Shots, shots. Shots fired. I do want to note that I know that Ike's from Chicago because he's currently wearing a Scottie Pippen t-shirt.

So this is one of those weird 325 days out of the year that he's wearing some piece of Bulls paraphernalia. It's Scottie Pippen with a Horace Grant kicker right there. Oh, yeah. Not bad. So now, Ike. Yes, sir. Growing up, what was a Barinholtz family trip? What was the norm?

And then tell us if there are any exciting outliers. I was thinking about this. We didn't go on a lot of trips. We were not big vacation people. We weren't, we didn't have a ton of money. You know, some of our friends had money. They would go on like these big vacations, but our kind of standard trip was getting in the Pontiac Sunbird and driving about five and a half hours through Indiana to Ohio which is where my mom is from a small town called Cedarville Ohio which is right next to Yellow Springs which is the town where Chappelle lives and does comedy so we would go there that was like was like our main kind of once or twice a year vacation. Is it the sexiest place in the world?

Yes. But that was like, yeah, basically our standard. And it was, when I was a little kid, that was great. We loved it. You looked forward to it. Because you have a lot of family. Your mom's siblings all live like on that same street, right? They live on this giant street in the middle of the country in south

central ohio also i would get all my cousin magic there you know what i mean like you get to do farm shit get on a tractor and it was fun going there we would get in the car and we would drive and and stop at bob evans and i was thinking about this because we just took our family road trip we drove to santa barbara this weekend and kids these days, God damn it. They have it so nice. They get an iPad and they can watch anything they want or play a video game in the car. Like boys, they're watching pornos. We watched, I showed them some porno.

Three daughters that I've selected. So it's not like a weird, it's story-based. It's story-based. It's acting based. It's story-based. It's story-based. It's acting-based. It's character-driven. It's basically like the USA network of porn. Characters are welcome. And also this, I want to clarify,

three girls all watching their own thing, right? There's not even the collective viewing going on. No, no. One girl's watching Mean Girls in the back. One girl's playing Tom's Gold Run. And then another girl's watching Mario Brothers. That is the craziest thing, that maybe when we were kids, you could conceive of a future where you'd bring the TV on a trip.

Yes. But you would never conceive of a future where everyone would have their own TV. Yeah. Even the TV in the car seemed a million miles away. Our entertainment was all of us singing along to Billy Joel's Greatest Hits Volume 1 and 2. Got it. Like, that was it. And, you know, we played Punch Buggy,

which you can't play anymore. You don't see a lot of VW Beetles on the road anymore. We would play I Spy, and my brother and I would kiss a little bit. That was it. Did you... You were six years older. Are you sure Johnny wanted to play that game?

I think so. I think I convinced him. I kind of groomed him into the whole process, I guess. There was a different take on what grooming was back then. This was the 80s. This was the 80s. Everyone chill. So you guys drove.

Always your dad, Alan, behind the wheel? Always Alan behind the wheel. You know, once a trip annoyed with us at some point. Like, shut up the wheel, always Alan behind the wheel. You know, once a trip annoyed with us at some point, like shut up, guys, shut up. I need to focus.

Your dad is a very affable gentleman. You are familiar with our father, Larry also affable, but I feel like maybe red lines a little bit more than Alan did. Historically. I mean, I will say Alan does have a little temper. Like he,

he does, you know what i mean like you know i'm sure they got mad at similar things dads in the 80s got mad at the same thing it's like kids talking too much and kids fighting you know when my brother and i was like he took he took the last rollo you know and johnny be like no i did it it was mine and my dad like hey shut up seriously both of you i want absolute quiet for the next hour and a half. But I still talk to him. We've worked through it. You and your dad are still talking.

Yeah. Yeah, we're still close. Despite that. Let's use now as a transition. But you know what? This is a family trip. And the trip is called Showbiz. So you are an improviser in Chicago.

Then you're an improviser in amsterdam you and josh come back to la same time you both get hired on mad tv yes pretty pretty immediately meet with some success your brother six years your junior yes sort of decides to take the same path goes to college does improv stuff at college right yes yeah i did i went to colgate and was in the same improv group that the broken lizard guys were in he got the buck he got the bug yeah you know and how could you not you're a 15 year old kid you see your older brother on stage doing a terrible improv show sweating his balls off and being blue for an audience of like nine drunk people you're like i have this

is the site where to call the showbiz well he probably haven't grown up with you had seen you sweat your balls off in almost any venue and didn't attribute it to you guys shared a room didn't you growing up oh we shared a room boy oh yes yeah which was that's tough that is that is tough i remember going to your apartment where you grew up. And my boys share a room now in New York City. And that speaks to how much smaller a room is than you grew up in if you grew up in the suburbs. My kids are rocking with less space. With that said, and maybe my memory does not serve, Ike, I remember the room you shared with your brother being very small.

Oh, my God. Tiny. Very small. Genuinely not maybe built to be a room for people to sleep in. No, no, no, no. And again, that's where the age difference started being like, there was a nice period where we were kind of both dumb little kids. But then when I was like 11 and I'm like, I need to see breasts today or I'm going to die. And he's like, you want to play G.I. Joe?

And I'm like, shut up. You know what I mean? So there was a couple of years where it was like definitely tough. Any day now I'm going to see a pair of Hooters and I cannot. So it's still no God. Still not. I tried. I tried.

Also, though, I think when I saw it, the other thing that took me back is you and your brother are also both very tall gentlemen. Yeah. I would imagine that when the growth spurts started, it felt like tiny, like the child's coffins you would see during a play is what you're.

It was so small. Very small. Ring Around the Rosie was always playing very ominously it was a lot it was very plague like it was very yeah like france 1581 i think it's really funny when you don't know we grew up in the suburbs and obviously some people we grew up with had more money than others i feel like we were somewhere in the middle and then when you first meet people who grew up in the city you realize how that's it's just a different like i don't know it's more squeezed together maybe the difference of what it means to have it and not have it yeah you're really you're packed in there and again we were like you know definitely growing up around other kind of urban jews a lot of whom had money yeah we were just so different

like i remember when i saw um uncut gems and i was like finally i feel seen like this is the kind of jews i i ran with like those are my uncles every jew in a movie is like either like you know super intellectual like well i'm i just got tenure at Vassar. But like my uncles were like, if I don't have $4,000 by the end of the week, they're gonna fucking kill me. Like desperate Jews. And so that was definitely like,

that wasn't like my dad per se, but like that was definitely his family. And was his family in Chicago? Did you grow up around them? Got it. I did. I grew up around his parents. His dad sadly passed away when he was pretty young, like 60. But his mom, my bubby, is still alive, 99 years old, still living in Skokie. And I'm actually going to go

see her in a couple of weeks. So it's funny because that limits, I think, it cuts in half how often you take family vacations if you have one set of grandparents living where you live. Yeah. If they lived in Florida, like we would be going to Florida constantly. Right. Thank God they did it. But we would go see the Ohio relatives like usually twice a year. Got it.

And that was like our kind of de rigueur trip until I was like 15 and we went to Jamaica. Jamaica was the first one. First time I went on a real trip where like it was a resort and, and it was, it blew my mind. What do you think was the tipping point that you took the trip then? I think it probably was like, my dad probably had like a good year financially in the sense where he's like enough of this ohio let's go to uh the fdr resort in ocho rios jamaica

uh which was incredible and uh yeah it was it was a swingers resort that my parents took us to but they they were very respectful for the children people forget there's a different kind of swinger there's a swinger where it's a you switch sexual partners and there's the one where you just take other people's children for the day yeah you just swing as parents you're like i'm gonna swing over and be their parents today and then yeah and then at night everyone swing dances again this is the late 80s 90s swing swing this kind of so you go to jamaica and what uh so you're staying at a resort is it like an all-inclusive kind of place all-inclusive place where you can walk up and say can i have a hamburger please and they're like yeah you don't have to pay for it and

then they're like son this is your sixth hamburger this is your sixth hamburger of the morning son it's not even 8 15 i i mean i gotta got to imagine at 15, can I have a hamburger? No questions asked. Nothing meant more to you. That was it. And the fact that there were like other kids there. Yeah. Some of whom were like girls.

Like who didn't know me. That was. Your reputation did not proceed yourself. I know. I know you like that because to this day which only makes sense now you've always said you know where they have the best hamburgers jamaica i go three times a year to get a burger that's it and then i leave uh i was recently in the hospital yeah i had i had a little bit about a pneumonia which was strange and i had this amazing

jamaican nurse and the first night i was kind of getting situated in there, she comes in and I felt like shit. My wife was in there and she's like, she used to think speaking in Jamaican accent. I was like, are you from Jamaica? She goes, yeah. And I'm like, I go, I used to go to Jamaica, Ocho Rios. She goes, that's for tourists. And I was like, yeah, yeah. I go, but I love ting. And ting is like a Jamaican, like a, like a, almost Jamaican Sprite. I would say it's like their national soda. And she looks at me and she goes, you like ting? And I go, yeah. She goes, you know, they have red ting now.

And I go, they have red ting. And my wife goes, what the fuck are you talking about? I hope that the drink wasn't really called Thing and you were just trying to make it sound Jamaican. All these years later, you were like,

oh, they were saying Thing? There's an H in there. The H is not silent as it turns out. Okay. Oh my God. I owe an apology to the nation of Jamaica.

So did you go more than once? Yeah, we went twice. We went twice. And that was... So maybe, do you think maybe then that's a bit of a fib when you said to the nurse, we used to go to Jamaica all the time? If it's more than one, you could say all. You could say all the time. Yeah. If it was just one time, I'd be like, I went to Jamaica once, but...

So you go twice and was that then the end of it were there no more that was the end of it i think the only other trip that we took as a family was we went to israel a couple years after that uh i already been at that point again this is a different time folks uh but um but but uh yeah we went to that that was it. Those were our three trips, I think. And are you sightseers when you go to Israel? Oh, yes. We went to climb Mount Masada. We did all the typical Jewish tourist things there. Was that one you were excited about?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you guys know I love history. I'm just very interested in that. And that's like... Now would be the time. I feel like he's leaving a gap for us to jump in and say that Ike is the current Jeopardy! celebrity champion. Did you say that because of the trophy right behind me?

Yes, that's one of the reasons I'm mentioning is that your trophy is in the show. Took you long enough. But, you know, again, we busted Ike early on. I'll admit that I busted him on dropping out of college after a year. The man knows his shit who would wipe the floor with me if it comes to history

in this nation or any other. But you already did at that age? You liked history? the idea of history? Yeah, yeah. I loved it. I would read, like, they had this book called, like, The Timetables of History, and it had, like, what happened every year, basically,

in recorded civilization. And, like, you know, whatever. Jerusalem is, like, you know, so many cultures have ran it, and it was just amazing to go. And, again, very different time. But that was a nice family trip again out of control horniness running around seeing like all these smoke show israelis and i'm like with my parents you know and i can't be like hey mom and dad i'm gonna go out tonight like it was like i

had to stay in the hotel room with them pine you were fairly young when you moved to amsterdam yeah how old were you i was 21 wow my goodness 21 years old and well you were you were too posh you were 21 22 yeah i think i was the same yeah that's right out of college oh yeah i guess when i went i was that age too i went right after college i'm getting my timeline up but we were young when we went there and young enough that we were still at the age when our parents would come visit us. Yes. And your parents came a lot to visit Amsterdam. And that sort of for our family became a family trip destination, even though Josh and I lived there.

It was so much fun to have parents come to Amsterdam and be in a hotel and be able to go back to the apartment you lived at the end of the night yeah i remember my but maybe the first or second time they came and my dad said to me like we were walking down whatever uh the hubelstraat and uh my dad goes later tonight your mom and your brother will go to the hotel room and you and i will you know and he made the i mean you can't see right now but i'm making the sign for smoking yeah it was quiet for me so just for our listeners alan said later tonight alan your father later tonight your mother and your brother will go to the hotel and we'll go maybe we'll go maybe smoke something was that the first time you smoked weed with your dad that was the first time i smoked weed with your dad? That was the first time I smoked weed with my dad. I never really knew he smoked weed, but we went to a Rookie's coffee shop.

And when he walked in, they all said his name like he was Norman Cheers. And I was like, what the fuck? I walked in and it's like Frazier. They all roll their eyes. We sat down and we bought a couple of pre-rolled rookies joints i know you guys know them well in those great little plastic cases and we sat there and we smoked a joint and the pot that my dad would smoke in chicago was just dog shit it was like brown it was brown and it was like from mexico via iowa it was just terrible and And you smoke that crazy Amsterdam shit

and we're sitting there and we're smoking and he's completely silent. And I'm watching some soccer game and after like 20 minutes of silence. Can I just jump in real quick? Your dad, I would say 20 minutes of your dad being silent was an outlier. Insane.

Just sit there with anyone in silence for 20 minutes is's like psychotic i know that if i if my dad if i sat with my dad and he was quiet for 20 minutes i would call my mom and be like he's gone yeah there's no there's no easy way to say this he's gone he's gone and there's nothing we could do about it there's nothing we can do about it so after like 20 minutes he turns to me and he goes ikey i'm uh i'm real fucked up and i was like oh man like you guys we've all been in that position where you're with someone and they've taken too much weed and you're just like fuck like josh has literally been that person for me before yeah um and so i i took him you know, I was like, okay.

And I remember I was like, well, let's get him some orange juice. And he ordered like three orange juices in a row and like drank them. Boom, boom, boom. And then he took like a handful of guilders and went to, you know, they have like the vending machines, but it's like peanuts and cashews and stuff. And he sat there for like five minutes, just coin nuts, eating it. Like it was the fastest munchies this is not a bag of nuts this is like nuts like gumball machines but not this is it's

a gumball machine but it's nuts again guys different time this was this was pre-euro we didn't know about germs yet yeah no no no you and your dad made t-shirts that said loose nuts 2000 about that trip didn't you with caricature drawings of you and your father yeah and he's just eating nuts in that character shirt i'm just rolling hey when you're uh when your mom and johnny go to sleep loose nuts you and me he made it he cupped his hand like it was full of nuts and did a little gesture. I remember that we got back to the room and he was very clearly stoned. And my mom kind of like picked up on it right away and like rolled her eyes. But like my brother was like, where were you two?

And I was like, oh no, we just went for a walk. And my dad goes, yeah, we went for a walk. And I was like, you cliche stone motherfucker. Like, just don't say anything. You're like, I'm tired. I want to go to bed. But since then, got in stone together many times. And it's always delightful. Do you guys ever get high?

You ever get high with your dad? Is Larry going to get high? No. God, no. He would never get high. Didn't you smoke a joint with mom on a boat in Amsterdam, Josh, when she was with all her aunts?

Yeah, she was on a trip with all of her siblings and her mother and a couple of the British cousins. I can remember this. A couple of her siblings sort of partake, and I had never seen mom. And she had like one hit of that joint, and then she kept saying like, we should get back.

I think Addie, our grandmother, she, her mother, she would say, I think Addie's cold. And Addie just kept saying, I'm fine. She's like, we should, Addie's cold. And I was like, I'm great. But that's nice and harmless. Like the, I remember one other time I got stolen. My dad was at the premier after party for neighbors too oh yeah i remember this story and they had rented out a bunch of hotel rooms at the w hotel and we're hanging out and seth rogan pulls out a joint and my dad just like the antenna goes up and he walks over and i look at him i go just take one hit and he took like two hits and like the most kind of dad fucking like you know like almost doing like a french inhale like like if bosh was pretending to like infiltrate a bunch of drug dealers how bosh would smoke the fucking joint and then like

he like walks away and that's like an hour and a half later and i was like i gotta go home i said johnny my brother go where's dad he goes i haven't seen him and we had to like look for him for 25 minutes and we finally like the last hotel room at the very end of the hall we open the door and he's sitting in there by himself there's no one else in the room he's just sitting in a chair and he goes i should go home and i was like yeah you should fucking go. Anyways. I think the reason mom doesn't smoke joints is because they keep going out in the gin and tonic she's drinking. I guess these don't go well together.

You just got to take it out before the sips. Too much. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. This episode of Family Trips is brought to you by Nissan. Posh, these days too many people have to settle for the next best thing, especially when it comes to choosing a car. Yeah, but at Nissan, there's a vehicle type for everyone, for every driver who wants more. Whether you want more adventure, more electric, more action, more guts, or more turbocharged excitement, Nissan is here to make sure you get it. Because Nissan is all about giving people a whole spectrum of thrills to

choose from with a diverse lineup of vehicles. Sports cars to sedans to EVs, pickups, crossovers with Nissan's diverse lineup. Anyone can find something to help them reach their more. What are you looking for more of, Josh? I like a nice ride. I like a nice sound system. I like something that's, yeah, that's comfortable. You like to have room to load up a bunch of gear, go somewhere, do an adventure. I do. I'm never happier than when I have sort of a full car, a roof rack on my car. Makes me happy. And all I need is a cup holder for an iced coffee. And Nissan can provide you with both of those things. So thanks again to Nissan for sponsoring this episode of Family Trips. And for the

reminder to find your more. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Factor, America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit, can help you fuel up fast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner with chef-prepared, dietician-approved, ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. You'll save time, eat well, and stay on track with your healthy lifestyle. I have really enjoyed my Factor so far, Pachi. Have you? I have. And I've done some meal delivery kits in the past where you sort of have to put a lot of things together and they end up taking a lot of time. The nice thing about Factor is they are fresh, they're never frozen, and you could throw them

in the microwave and they're ready in two minutes. Josh, what does Dad say to me every time we go to a restaurant? He opens the menu and he tells me... They have chicken. They have chicken. Well, guess what? Yeah? Factor has chicken, too. I love chicken, and their cranberry pecan chicken is a perfect fall flavor on their autumn menu.

It's over $35. Weekly, flavor-packed, fresh, never-frozen meals that promote a healthy lifestyle and meet your meal preferences. It's all ready to eat in two minutes. Head to factormeals.com slash trips50 and use code trips50 to get 50% off. That's code trips50 at factormeals.com slash trips50 to get 50% off. So I do think there's a fun reveal for people who don't know. One of my first memories of your dad is we used to do an improv show. That's what we were all doing.

And there was a Saturday night. Was it late and live? Friday. Friday. Friday was this late night show where it was a bunch of different improv games. There's this sort of old school, I imagine, probably a comedy sports type game called do run run where the audience yells out a name and all the improvisers have to rhyme

that name in the lyrics of the the song do run run and your dad said he wanted to play it this wasn't his first trip to amsterdam but he felt very confident he could win this game yeah and it's a rhyming game it's a rhyming game it's not it's like yeah it's not an improv game as much as it's coming up with rhymes fast yes and he was very keen to to play and very confident very confident and for the record i sucked at this game like i don't think i ever won it the whole time i was there it was just like it's hard it's coming up with like fast you are we all said like great at trivia bad at rhymes bad at rhymes bad rhymes like after like the first two then i'm just like i don't know um but he got up there and he kind of systematically started taking people out took down the low

hanging fruit right away yeah your ike baron holtz is your juliet curries get him out but then he worked his way up to who i think was the probably the the usual champion was brendan hunt yep yeah also he i think you beat him in the celebrity jeopardy i didn't find lay brendan in the celebrity jeopardy but he he should have gotten to the he was like a bad beat but he was he had an amazing game okay that's good coach beard from ted ted coach beard we're gonna play a couple clips from episode 203 right now so let's watch uh so anyways brendan was the just the he was the champ and my dad beat him beat him in the do-run run and for many many years that was he would literally be like yeah well i won the do-run run

you know what i mean he was very proud this will come out uh cruelly which is not the intention but my memory of it was they were all very good rhymes delivered with no charisma at all. It was a Rain Man-like performance. Yes, yeah. He had not been on a stage in many years. His showmanship wasn't what it was. It was more about just like, my brain still works

and I can connect these names. But it was like watching deep blue beat it was gary kasparov is that who yeah yeah where no one i felt like no one was like in the beginning everyone thought let's oh i hope alan wins because the dad winning would be fun but then he was so dead-eyed in his performance yeah i think they were hoping someone else would take him down well people were like this is just bad for the game. And I'm a do-run-run purist. So it was, you know, it was very sad to watch.

But he was, he won and he, yeah, that was a badge of honor. Now, I never, I never would say that I was not enamored with Alan's performance if I did not have a second half of this, which is Alan has recently given one of the great, truly gave one of the great television performances of the year. He did. And this story blows my mind

because even the first time you told me about it and described the show he was on, it seemed like a fake show. Yes. Your dad decided late in life, your dad was a lawyer. Yes.

Your dad decided he was going to move to Los Angeles. Yes. Obviously, his sonseles yes obviously he has uh his his sons are there he has grandkids there there were other reasons to go yes but he also wanted told you he was going to be an actor yeah i mean he he wanted to be an actor early in life right he was an acting major and he wanted to and and you know tried doing stand-up and stuff but he just it wasn't working fast enough

for him. And he was married and I think maybe my mom was pregnant. He was like, I'm going to go to law school. And he became a lawyer for 35 years, but he always wanted, there was a part of him, you know, he'd go see an improv show and you could tell he was living vicariously through it. Long story short, our friend Allison Bills had reached out. It was like, hey, I'm working for someone and they're looking for kind of unknowns for this show, jury duty. And we thought maybe your dad could put himself on tape to be the judge. So I remember the day he came here, it was like right around Thanksgiving. And my brother and I put him on tape. And I remember after he did his first read,

we looked at each other and we're like, pretty, pretty good. Give a good read. He was prepared. You know, he wasn't, he picked up some panache since he was on the Do Run Run stage. And we sent, and we sent it in.

And then, yeah, a couple days later, he found out that he got this part. And again, I was like this, there's a million shows. Most of them are bad and don't get seen. And again, I was like, this... There's a million shows. Most of them are bad and don't get seen. And who the fuck... When it got picked up, it wasn't even the same network that it ended up on, right?

It had been in the works for like six years. Like, there were people who sold the show and then left and they brought in a new showrunner. And I know so many writers who were like, I worked on that for a week in 2018. And so know so many writers who were like, I worked on that for a week in 2018. And so he came out to LA and shot it and told me every fucking detail about it.

He would come over and be like, had a great day yesterday. You know who really keeps the, who's the glue are the second ADs. And I'm like, oh, really? What do they do? I don't know. I never, I've never been in this business for 20 years. Tell me more. But he was very enamored by it. And doing it, I think,

was such a good experience that mom and dad decided to fully move to LA. And then the show comes out and it's a legitimate hit. It's a legitimate hit. Your dad is judge Alan Rosen. He is the judge. He's the judge. And he's the, I've talked to people about that show and I'm like, do you know who the judge is?

And they're like, yeah, I, I know I've seen him in something. And I was like, no, you haven't. He's my buddy's dad. It is crazy, man.

He also did the biggest solid for me, which is the final episode where everybody, the reveal has been revealed. Yes. He's wearing a late night with Seth Meyers hat, which is probably a gift bag to you via him. So the amount of people that sent me texts saying the judge

in jury duty is wearing a late night hat. He must be a fan of the show. I'm like, oh, he's so much more than that. He's so much. I was there the night he won do run run. He was like deep blue.

He was deep blue. Does your guy's dad, does Larry wear a lot of swag? Because my dad, the best thing I can give him is like, hey, I did this movie called Bright. Do you want this sweatshirt? Yes. Yes. He loves wearing fucking gear from rap gifts and parties.

Yeah. My dad was wearing a t-shirt the other day, and I was like, he's been wearing it so much. I'm like, what is it? He's like, oh, it's the place that did my knee surgery. You know what I mean? And then my mom called him out for it, and he's like, you go to the health club,

everyone's wearing these. And it's like, okay. I have a joke that i think you'll like which is very in line with this that i've been trying on stage like ready it's about how i'm getting older i've reached yeah yeah you are too but uh the joke is uh i've reached the age where if someone gives me a free hat that's my hat hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's just like, you're just like, okay. What, does it cover the, keep the sun out? Okay.

I got this. I met the lady who owns the Strand bookstore. Literally, it's connected to my head twice. I sleep in it. But my dad, for showbiz stuff, like the greatest day for him would be like back when he was in Ohio. And someone is like, what is that sweatshirt?

He's like, it's actually the Mindy Project season three wrap gift. Have you seen it? My son is Morgan. Like for him, it was just like the only thing that compared for excitement in terms of me giving him things. And I don't really do them as much anymore. It was screeners. Yeah. The screener era yeah screeners are are like dvds that get sent to your house for projects that are sort of under

consideration for awards movies that are in the theater that would currently be in the theater you would get a dvd of it like or like the week before and the dream is they would come out usually in the run-up to the oscars that award season which is early winter so you would usually have your screeners for thanksgiving christmas and that would be the bounty you'd bring home is these we we need not go to the theaters my dad literally like he would like interrupt people's conversation oh you're talking about the true grit how you're gonna go see at the theater yeah i saw it i saw it at home actually like it was the greatest thing uh uh for him by the way i just re-watched that movie true

grit that movie is fantastic it is a underrated cone brothers movie it is so good i just wanted to get that out there bridges damon damon i think simon rich and maybe melanie wrote a steinfeld sketch which it was seinfeld but with her character from true grit i have to ask melanie if that's right it doesn't seems insane that it didn't air if they actually went through and wrote it. We're getting pretty Hollywood-centric for Poshy over here. I have one thing to say real quick, and then we'll get away from Hollywood. Real briefly, I will say the problem that my parents have is that swag from the shows I'm on all have my name on it

because I'm only on the one show. Right. And if you thought that would, if they would have any problem with that, they don't. So they have to, they wear their son's name. They're just about town. All right.

And no more Hollywood. Josh. That's it. So we are, we are here, you know, ostensibly to talk. Did your dad,

did your dad have backend on your, Oh, sorry. That was never, nevermind. And now we're going to take a quick break to hear from one of our sponsors. This episode of Family Trips is brought to you by McDonald's. Hey, Poshy.

Yeah. Did you know that one in eight people in the U.S. have worked at McDonald's at some point in their life? That's crazy. That's so many people. How do you not know that? This is like the third time I've told you. You guys, being an employee at McDonald's means you are making the world's most famous fries on day one of the job, and you're able to make any kid's day with a happy meal. I mean, if you're

working at McDonald's, you're throwing more birthday parties than anywhere else on earth, and having every type of person in the world come through that store. And obviously, we know about the food that McDonald's serves. What you might not know is some of the coolest things they offer as an employer. McDonald's offers flexible hours, a schedule that works around your life, which means more time for your life. They also have an English Under the Arches program, which are classes offered to employees looking to improve their English speaking, listening, reading, and writing skills. Career Online High School, where employees can graduate from high school by taking classes online. The Archways to Opportunity, which is a program that offers financial support for employees trying to graduate

college. And other career and education advising with success coaches who are available to help employees identify their education needs, review their career goals, and develop a plan for the future. McDonald's is now serving much more than orders. Hey, we wanted to tell you real quick about a show we recently discovered called Podcrushed. Yeah, man. If you're a fan of the Netflix show You or Gossip Girl,

then you may already be familiar with one of the hosts, Penn Badgley. And Penn has a couple of great friends, Nav and Sophie, and they've created a wonderful, beautifully cringey podcast to share stories

of our teenage years, the awkwardness, anxiety, heartbreak, and self-discovery that we look back on lovingly, but through gritted teeth. On each episode, they have guests like Drew Barrymore, Conan O'Brien, Jenna Ortega, and more

to share their experiences too. Listen to Podcrushed every Wednesday wherever you listen to your podcasts. So you got three girls now. Yes. Your lovely wife, Erica. You guys have gone on some family trips, I know. Oh, yes.

Yes. What are the girls like to do? And your girls are how old now? They're 10, 7, and 5, which is now good to travel. Because we were in a place where for basically like seven years, traveling was a nightmare. You know, Erica either had a little baby or was pregnant. I mean, we took Foster when she was like six weeks old.

We were talking about this the other day. The first state you went to that was not the state you were born in. And Erica reminded me that Foster's was Massachusetts because we brought baby foster to the wedding of one Seth Meyers, which was no, no kids. I believe it was no kids was the rule, but it was no kids.

We snuck her in by one of the little barns and I would bring her, you know, food and let her eat out of a little basket of oats. Yeah, she was fine. She had a great time. She actually became really good friends with Kristen Wiig. Yeah. Which is kind of nice.

So anyways, traveling was just like, I like sucked for so long. Now they are at the place where a long plane ride is not that bad. They can watch, you know, movies. Our middle one, first time we gave her an iPad. We're pretty crazy with screens. We just don't let them watch a ton of iPads at home because then when you go on an airplane, they can watch as much as you want. And she sat down, she was like four years old. And the movie she wanted to watch, she watched Superman, the Richard Donner Superman. And then it ended and she pressed stop and watched Superman 2. She watched both

and that's about five hours of Superman by the way. Of 70s Superman. Of Lois Lane, chain smoking Superman. Loved it. That's so funny. So Ash, we tried Superman with Ash and Ash loves Superman. But he did not want to see a real life Superman.

He only wanted to see cartoons. The live action of it put him off right away she loved it she loved gene hackman well all kids love hack he he is great i just showed her the package with him and timely jones fantastic uh-oh showbiz showbiz showbiz the pat you can talk about the package oh we can talk about the package yeah because you're the only ones doing it but yeah it would be heartbreaking if the package didn't get its shout out now it really i mean the package walked so the fugitive can fly whatever doesn't matter um so where do you guys go yeah where do you go what we normally do like we're a big fan of like california trips because it's like a three to four hours the car. But we did do a fantastic trip last Christmas.

We went to England and France. Yeah. Because your wife's brother lives over in England? Her sister lives in Richmond, home of one Ted Lasso. And so we went there, and that was amazing. That was like, first of all, when you go on vacation with your kids, it's great because you're not driving probably.

And if you go to dinner, you can have like three drinks and like, it's fine. You're going to take, you're going to walk back home. I'm an alcoholic. But also a very safe one. Very, very conscious. Yeah. That was just such a great trip. The only problem is my kids are big pukers with like motion or food or just

in general motion is really what gets them the time that got us real bad was last summer flying from la to new york and then like land at jfk and then get in a car and then like land at JFK and then get in a car and drive like two and a half hours to like South Hampton or whatever. And that got me because we were, we rented a tiny little bungalow and, and we were, they were fine for like two hours, whatever, four hour flight, two hours in the car, they're fine. And I'm literally turning off the freeway to get to this bungalow. And I just hear one of the kids just go like, and I look in the rear view mirror and I just see Foster open her mouth and just projectile vomit in the rental car. At which point the baby Eleanor sees her, she starts vomiting And then Peyton vomits.

And I literally am seeing this all in the rearview mirror as I'm driving, just like a cascade of vomit. And it was pretty traumatic. So we sold our youngest kid after that. To pay for the rental car? To pay. So that's where they get you. They get you in the cleaning fees. Yeah, because that's not covered. Even if you use an Amex So that's where they get you. They get you in the cleaning fees. Yeah.

Because that's not covered. Even if you use an Amex, that's not covered. No. I think that last summer as well, was that one summer ago, two summer ago, we all had dinner. I had dinner with you and your family. It was one of Ike's daughter's birthdays, I want to say. Yes.

It was Foster's. That was the summer before that. The Puke was the summer before that. And we were at a nice midtown restaurant. Quality Bistro. Quality Bistro. And I'm saying this with no hyperbole. It was so sweet to watch you with your three daughters

because you do love food. You love a nice restaurant. And you were so concerned about your kids enjoying that they were at a nice new york dinner and i think they really did because and you could eat with ike at a hole in the wall a place with a d health code rating ike's still passing around plates he's always the host at whatever restaurant he's at whether or not he has any try some of these cockroaches they're fantastic but uh it was really great you would have loved it josh because the girls were all i think on cloud nine and uh and ike ike has this a keen ability to maintain a conversation while he's

leaning over a table passing every little bit of food around yeah well you anytime we used to go to group dinners ike would always order for the table and it was it was like a monologue listening to him or my my real friends get it like my real friends you're very good at it and when they and i for the record if someone's like hey like one time hayes was like hey it's kind of emasculating when you order from me no and i'd send him i know but it's gonna make the experience better for everyone if you just let me handle the shit. We should note our friend Hayes' hobby is emasculating others. Yeah.

He took that so hard he moved to Idaho. Yeah. He's like, I can't live here anymore. You need to go buy an AR-15. You're the only person I've ever seen, because sometimes waiters have a reputation of upselling. You're the only person I've ever seen because sometimes um you know waiters have a reputation of upselling you're the only person i've seen where the waiters try to pump the brakes on you every time you'll be like how many of these appetizers like how many girls come they're like it's two per order you're like look so we'll get six they're like no i think for the table like

three you'll do you're like five the title of my autobiography is okay that's a lot of food like it's so embarrassing like i just had dinner with two friends a couple weeks ago and the waiter goes wow and first of all i don't need your judgment like like it's this only is gonna give you more money it's gonna make everyone happy and guess what the fucking food is gonna be eaten okay If I had a propensity to like leave huge portions of food. Okay. That's wasteful. I eat it all.

And I suffer the slings and arrows of indigestion and morning diarrhea. I don't need some waiter to be like, okay, I guess I'll put this in. I guess we have the world's most extreme chef. We were having lunch in Chicago once and I ordered a club sandwich and I was about to take a bite of it and you were like, isn't it good? I was like, I haven't, it hasn't touched my mouth.

Fuck man, I am unbearable. I am unbearable. I will say, I'll take that over. My wife, Alexi, under orders to a criminal extent. And if she, for example, if we get Chinese food and she orders, I know, especially we have guests over and it's our job to make sure everyone else eats, that I'm going to have a quarter cup of rice and two cubes of chicken and maybe one of the peanuts from the Kung Pao. It is kind of my nightmare is to go somewhere and there's just not enough food. Like

I feel like I panic a little bit. Like a friend of ours one time years ago invited us over. He's like, I'm going to have Monday night football football and we went over there it was like 14 people and he got like two boxes of popeye's chicken and like eight biscuits and like two orders of sides it was enough for like four people that's the night you ate that dude right that's the night you killed and ate a dude and you said you said no jury will convict me and they did it well your dad it turned out that your dad was the judge honestly guys please edit that out i don't want people to think that i was so hungry i murdered and ate one of my own friends

oh we didn't we let our editor go i'm so There was, I feel like when there was a time in Amsterdam when money, money was tight. Like we weren't, we were doing fine over there, but we weren't crushing it. And it was a thing where if you had a movie ticket stub. Oh God. It was two for one Whoppers. Big Kings. Big Kings. And you and our buddy Dave Buckman would just hang out behind where the theater would exit

and just see if people would throw their stubs on the ground. You wouldn't go to a movie to get a spare stub. You think I have movie money? No. And it wasn't like we would hang out behind the theater. We would just walk through that path and stop and tie my shoe for a couple minutes. And then sometimes people come out,, you know, Dutch people, they don't care.

They're just like, oh, this movie was terrible. Then throw the ticket in the air. Then I would take it. And I would go into the Burger King and I would be like, can I please have two hamburgers? And they were like, how was the film Space Cowboys? And I would say, great. They instituted a rule at the Burger King by the movie theaters

that you had to say at least three plot points. It was known as the Buckman-Berenholtz conundrum. Yes, and did all the space cowboys live? Sadly, Tommy Lee Jones didn't make it. make it made in the package when i think about you like i don't think about i don't think about a real skier but you and the family you've got you guys have gone to to utah or colorado and like yes and but you don't ski when you i will never ski i will never see you just take that that opportunity to watch football in a hotel? Oh, my God.

It's the greatest. Listen, skiing is fucking bullshit. I'm sorry. It's like, oh, I love to go and any process where it's like, oh, just to get ready to ski 45 minutes. 45 fucking minutes. Then you do it. Can I jump in and say, I bet you don't have the best feet for boots. No, I have big fucking wide feet.

They hurt. They're strapping you in. Then it's like, oh, great. I'm going to go up a mountain and do this thing that has no natural braking system. And then like, yeah, love to have reconstructed knee surgery at 46. Love to be on one of those little scooters where your back foot is out. Like those look really cool. I fucking hate skiing. It's bullshit, but I love opera ski. I love going to the mountain, you know, the kids all go, Erica goes, I like to go to the gym i do a little workout i maybe smoke a little

bit of pot and then it's lunch and then it's apres ski so the actual act of skiing yeah do the kids ever say like daddy like come skiing with us papa be with us and i say fuck that i say to them i go oh yeah i going to have reconstructive knee surgery. Fucking idiot. No, yeah, no, they don't. They know. They know it's better for all involved. It's like ordering food.

I would also imagine, you know, based on my experiences with your wife, Erica, I bet they feel total comfort with her. She seems like she's got it all well in the pocket. I don't like her, actually. They don't... They always say to me, she'll walk out of the room and they'll be like,

I don't trust that lady. They call her that lady? They don't even call her mom? They don't call her mom or Erica even. They're just like, that one. That one. No, yeah. If, God forbid, something happened to me,

they would be fine because like erica runs the shit and they they really respect her like i have this phrase i've been trying i get no respect oh that's good yeah i don't have a follow-up for it you don't seem to be you know the weird thing about guy you get no respect is you've said very little in which our listeners would think you demand respect. Well, I demand it, but my actions don't. I know I take what you mean, but the point is I get no respect. In my own house.

When you were in the hospital recently with this pneumonia thing, when I heard about it, I texted Erica, your wife, and I was like, hey, I think you probably- What are you doing tonight? What are you doing today? You smell blood in the water. Do you want to have dinner tonight at Yamashiro? Joshua's like, oh, I wait 10 years to propose,

and now Erica might be coming on the market dammit I already got three kids made I already cooked you texted her you were the only friend that texted her but I was also like I wanted to text to be like

if there's anything I can do if you need me to do any grocery shopping or bring over anything I'm happy to do it. But it was all, I was also sort of like, yeah, I don't imagine there's another woman that I know that has this more under control. Yeah. Although she is funny. The one time she is really, truly nervous and flustered is when she has to order dinner.

Like if I'm driving him in traffic, I'm like, can you order dinner? Because she knows how, what a fucking blimpo I am and what a, just a freak I am when it comes to food. And she's just like a visibly frazzled. If she's like,

I don't know what you want. In her defense, it would be like Mozart saying to his wife, you play piano tonight. I mean, other than that you're good at ordering, I'm not quite sure how you landed, Erica. Like, that might be why.

Yeah, and like Mozart, I have tertiary syphilis. See? This guy knows his stuff. You're easily spooked. I will be buried in a pauper's unmarked grave. You already bought it. That was amazing. I bought it.

I bought the plot. I own it. I was like, Ike, you got the money now. Get it marked. And you're like, no, I'm just going to get the unmarked one. I know how that sounds. It's the opposite of bring a trailer, that website. It's just like bring your body.

So I want to ask about beach vacations yes but i want to preface it by saying you are we spent you know our wonderful years in amsterdam some of the best times of my life yeah amsterdam famously not a sunny place no you are the only person i ever met who got badly sunburned in amsterdam the worst sunburn i've ever had in my life oh yeah monstrous i mean jep posh was there for all of it so a young lady asked me to she's like do you want to go to the beach with this young dutch girl and i didn't even know they had beaches there i was like yeah sure and we went i think if a young dutch girl asked you that you did not say it with that tossed off way. Here, I'll do it.

Yeah, nah. Yeah, be it. Whatever. I think I said, yes, I'll go to the beach. Yes, let's leave right now. I'm wearing my swimsuit already. Let's go. And we got there, and she was me and her

and one of her friends, and we got there, and like right away, they were like, boop, tops off, which, again, for 21. So you finally saw him. You waited until that's over. Well, no, I was respectful. I didn't look. I didn't look.

I'm a scumbag. All right. Yeah, no. I was definitely distracted and trying to be cool and just being like, you guys, well, let's drink some wine. And I just didn't put any sunscreen on. And again, in my defense, it's fucking like, it's not like the Southern California beach.

Like, it's literally the low countries. Like, it's fog like this it's not like the southern california beach like it's literally the low countries like it's foggy and shit it's where boats land for invasions it's that kind of beach yes it's basically normandy but in right uh yes and uh yeah the train ride home i remember being like why is this fucking train so hot and then I got home and I looked at myself in the mirror and I did like a double take and I was completely lobsterized. I remember I showed up at the theater. I remember Josh being like, what the fuck happened to you? Yeah, I mean, I'm no stranger to this type of red.

So I recognized it. I saw myself in you. Yes. And we had to do on Saturday nights, we did double shows. So I walked out on stage as Jerry, my award-winning Jerry Springer impression, rest in peace.

And people started laughing as I walked on stage. Like it looked like I was wearing like red makeup or something. And I remember someone was like, one of the waitresses was like, you need yogurt put yogurt on the burn and the worst part of the burn was like right at the top of my thigh right to above my knee um like basically this yeah here yeah and uh i remember going to the back uh little backstage area pulling my pants down and waitress brought me a cup of yogurt.

I just slathered yogurt all over my thighs and a woman walked in, an audience member walked in. Because the theater was set up. There was the theater, the stage where the audience was, and then there was a back bar. Yep. And where the waitstaff would get, you their drinks and bring them out and then next to the back bar was a door to the women's restroom and then there were some coat racks and then there was a door in that little back area to backstage people were constantly walking in backstage thinking it was the women's bathroom yeah and that night this woman walked in and saw me from the back

and walked in and saw me from the back with my pants around my ankles, like going, ah, with just like white, creamy, bad, whatever the fuck, dripping down. And even amongst a tolerant Dutch society, that was a bridge too far. Even in 1999, you can't do that kind of stuff. And so I made eye contact with her and i just goes wrong room wrong room and uh you're like don't tell the rest of the audience about this please it's between us and uh i married that woman and we have three children together the thing i remember this that happened after i left I would come back and visit I came back and

visited and just on the way through the theater three different people told me the story about Ike getting caught putting yogurt on his thighs and then when I finally saw you you said Sufi I got the craziest story I'm like is it yogurt thighs you're like oh. It's out? Yogurt dies. Old yogurt dies, Barinholtz. I'm sorry to put you in this position, Ike, but I do consider this a travel advisory, although I do think it's better now because I think all three of us would say

Amsterdam is a must-visit city. I just went back. I went back this summer for the 30th anniversary of the theater. I have such a love affair with that city. The taxi drivers in the late 90s, early 2000s were a little prickly. They were gangsters. They were gangsters.

They were actual gangsters. But like gangsters in like three-piece suits and beautiful Mercedes. Yeah. They had like taxi licenses that were worth like 200,000 guilders or whatnot. And they had a monopoly. And they behaved like no one was ever coming for their monopoly. And Ike, you have a story about a Dutch taxi driver. That's one of my favorites. I mean, it's, it's pretty simple.

He was a dick. They were all dicks. I never had a Dutch taxi driver who was like, I was like, oh, this is a great conversation. Thank you. 30% hit. They were all just like rude and so long ago. But I remember I said, stop right here. And he goes, no, no, no.

He went like around the other side of the tram track. And I was like, I just was like, that's not where I wanted. I wanted to go fucking back there. And he kind of turned to me and kind of like leaned over and was like, get the fuck out. and he kind of turned to me and kind of like leaned over and was like, get the fuck out. And kind of just that movement led me to fucking swing at him over the top, hit him right on the side of the head.

But yeah, I take great pride that I fucking punched a taxi driver. I remember another night, another guy, and I was with Oscar winner Jordan Peele, and fucking another guy was being a dick and started yelling at us. Wait, wasn't there one where you were, the radio was too loud and you were trying to turn it down? Maybe that was the one with Jordan.

But I remember we both got out and I remember Jordan, Jordan looks at the guy and goes, what's up, motherfucker? It was like Jordan Peele. It's like so funny to see him that mad. Yeah, the cab drivers are pieces of shit. I wish I had, as a prank, Jordan Peele. It's like so funny to see him that bad. Yeah. They, the cab drivers are pieces of shit.

I wish I had as a prank hired two people dressed as Dutch police to break into your home office right now and say, we found him. We've been working this case for many years. You're coming with us yogurt thighs. I should also say, and again, go to Amsterdam. the best the best maybe

take the train from the airport into the city but yeah because i went this summer and the other thing i'll say about um dutch taxi drivers is uh no matter the time of day and usually for american travelers you've taken a red eye you land somewhere between 7 a.m. and 10 a.m. in the morning after half a night's sleep, basically. And then you get into a Dutch taxi, and this is the music that's playing. Dotsen, Dotsen, Janssen, Dotsen, Dotsen, Janssen. Like, you can't believe it. That hour of the morning.

It has not changed a whit in 20 years. 800 beats per minute. They have such good taste, Dutch people, in all areas. We love it. Go. We love areas. We love it. Go. We love it. We love it, folks. Sometimes when I was performing there, do you remember the miniseries John Adams? Yeah, of course.

Remember when Giamatti goes to the Dutch people and is like, we would really like your help. And they're just staring at him and they're like, why should we help you? Like, that's what I felt like performing for those people sometimes. And they would make us go hang out with them afterwards. And those people don't give a fuck. They'll be like,

not your best show tonight. I don't think maybe that one wasn't a good one. And I'm like, oh, thank you. Thank you. Yap. Thank you.

You're a man named Yap. Thank you. Thank you, Yap. Thank you. You're a man named Yap. Thank you. Should we ask Ike his questions, Josh? What do you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see here. All right, Isaac. Here we go. You can only pick one of these.

Your ideal vacation, is it relaxing, adventurous, or educational? Relaxing. Very nice. Your favorite means of transportation, train, plane, automobile, boat, on foot, bicycle? Train. Yeah. Love a train. Love a nice train.

What's your longest train ride, Ike? Have you ever taken a good long one? Longest train ride would probably be... Oh, the Orient Express, and somebody got murdered, didn't they? Someone got murdered. It was not great. It wasn't great. We figured out who did it, though.

Probably, what is it? England, France? Okay. That's probably it. Channel? Did you go through the channel? I took the channel, yeah. Loved it.

Very nice. Eurostar. If you could take a vacation with any family other than your own, which would it be? This could be fictional. could be anyone from history, any family from history. You could say like historically, like, oh, the Borgias because they had so much like wealth and stuff. But I'm going to say the goddamn Myers family

because there's no other family where I'm closer with more than one sibling. So there you go. If we were on the fence about you being the third Myers brother, you just locked it. That was it. Boom. Yeah. Boom. Yeah. Boom.

And if you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? Does this mean my wife and kids or like my parents? Also your parents. If they're your family, you know, distant cousin,

it just has to be family. I'm going to say my wife so we can have sex gross you're from chicago would you recommend chicago as a vacation destination oh absolutely there's a couple uh spots you want to avoid but uh no chicago is uh i might take my kids there quite a bit and it is like mary daly didn't talk about that yeah glad we just left that the show was about trips i guess but uh uh one of the things mary daly did there is he did make the city very kid friendly and there's just so much uh culture and stuff there and there's amazing food people drink a lot like lot. But it's a great vacation spot. If you had a family of kids your age

and you were in Chicago for one night, where would you take them to eat? Man, that's tough. I mean, I would have to get them some kind of pizza, probably. So I'd probably take them to Lumel's and get a deep dish, but also get them a tavern-style, too, so they get a little bit of thick and thin. I think Lumel Nadi's is a very...

Because they have a little of both. So good. So good. And then Suf, I have a question for you, but real quick, since you're now officially a Myers brother. Yeah.

I have a question for you. We were on the fence about whether we're going to call this family trips with the Myers brothers or family trips with the Myers boys. Do you think we made the right choice? Yes. Yeah. So do I. Josh disagrees.

Yeah. I just liked the way boys sounded better but but i think you can just do how about this i wrote this ready family trip with the myers brothers parentheses boys uh i guess i guess a guy who likes to have his cake and eat it too although putting parentheses boys is not eating it too it's like taking a fucking big old shit on the cake. It's like touching the cake. It's like touching it. He touched the cake a little bit.

And then while you were watching him, he very slowly moved it around the whole surface. What are you doing? I've got nothing else. All right, ready? Have you ever been in the Grand Canyon? No. Do you want to go?

Yes. Okay. We're talking about doing that. That's like a family trip we're talking about doing that that's like a family trip we're talking about doing okay somebody fell off this year they they're okay but just okay yeah yeah they're okay 13 year old um a kid who's fine thank god he's fine okay 100 feet but 100 feet fell 100 feet pretty fucking far how many feet do you think you'd have to fall like before you were definitely dead for For me? Yeah. Just five, six feet.

If I stand on this little end table right here and I just fall. Also, Ike, by the way, when he showed us, I'm sorry this isn't a visual medium. When Ike showed us where he put his yogurt on his thighs, he lifted up his leg. It looks as though you're naked from the waist down because we didn't even see a short. And then are you wearing like purple Crocs? Purple Crocs with socks? Yeah, I am. And it's funny.

You guys call it. Hold it up again. We might need a screen grab for the show notes. So I'm wearing these. First of all, these were a gift from the Lakers. I'm wearing these on large month, which is a straight right by my house.

And I'm putting money in the meter. And the meter is not working. And so I go to the next machine whatever and a guy comes over and goes to that one that I was trying to use and I go oh I think that's broken he goes I'll tell you what's fucking broken those shoes and for a second I look at him and I just based on his look and the fact that he ripped on me, I was like, I thought it was Bill Burr for a second, but I don't like know Bill Burr. So I kind of went and I looked at him and I realized just some fucking guy. And he goes, he goes, seriously, dude, purple Crocs. What the fuck? And like, I was so surprised.

Like, I guess when someone does does that there's like two things you could do one is do what i did just go like i know or the other thing is be like what the fuck did you just say and get into like some kind of fight but i just kind of laughed but it was just like it was so strange it was like a drive by roasting yeah yeah The tricky thing about option two of getting into a fight is them's not fighting shoes you're wearing. Crocs are not good for fighting shoes. I think if they get

you on the ground where you're wearing Crocs, it's over. Oh, yeah. I think I saw a clip of those people that were fighting in South Carolina. One guy, the cops dragged him and his feet went through the Crocs. So the Crocs were like halfway up his shit. It was not a good look.

Yeah. They are a very, listen for comfortability and ease top of the line for combat. Can't do much worse. Well, we love you very much. When do we start the podcast? Any minute now.

Any minute. Guys, I got to tell you something. I love you. I've done four different podcasts with other brothers in the last couple weeks. And this one, number one. Oh, wow. Look at that. I did the Menendez Brothers podcast last week.

Oh, what's that one called? podcast oh what's that one called wow what's that one called it's called get us out with the menendez brothers parentheses boys so you gave it to them too you'd already given it to them he got the idea from them oh he got you stealing it i just want everyone to have the same name. Yeah, run afoul of the Menendez brothers. Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Because when they get out

in 17 years, I'm sure they won't come looking for revenge. At least you didn't tell them you live near Larchmont. All right, we love you. Love you, boys. Love you.

Thank you. Grew up in apartment up in Chicago Taking family road trips down to Ohio Dad had a good year, found somewhere else to go Down to Ocho Rios Chorios That's in Jamaica An all-inclusive thing

Eating tons of burgers Drinking tons of ting Got a job in Amsterdam And now you're the king Now the family Got a job in Amsterdam and now you're the king. Now the family comes to you. Ike and his pups are getting high tonight. While mom and John are at the hotel. Ike and his pups are such cool guys tonight

Eating loose nuts that come with no shell Ike and his pups are getting high tonight Mom and Johnny are back at the hotel are getting high tonight Mama Johnny are back at the hotel Mike and his pops are such cool guys tonight Sharing those

nuts, the car with no shell No shell