Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - JOHNNY KNOXVILLE & ELNA BAKER Both Had Wild RV Trips

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

Johnny Knoxville + Elna Baker join Seth & Josh on the pod this week! Johnny shares his funny RV trip story, going to Daytona Beach, and who his favorite person was on a fishing trip, and Elna talks about traveling to 25 countries and growing up Mormon! Sponsors:NissanThanks again to Nissan for supporting Family Trips, and for the reminder to chase bigger, better, more exciting adventures. And enjoy the ride along the way. Learn more at nissanusa.com MandoControl Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code TRIPS at shopmando.com! #mandopod ClaritinGo to Claritin.com right now for a discount so you can Live Claritin Clear. Use as directed.

This episode of Family Trips is brought to you by the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder with seven drive modes. The Pathfinder is built for even the most epic journeys. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Hey, Panshi. Hey, Sufi. Am I going to see you this weekend? Yes. Is it official? Yeah, it's official.

All right, so you're coming out east with your fiance, Mackenzie. Yep. Tell everybody what is the core reason. I know you're going to see me, but what's the core reason for the trip? The core reason is we're going to drive from her hometown in western Massachusetts down towards New York City. We've got a party in New York City. But what we're doing is we're stopping and looking at some potential wedding venues.

Some venues. Yeah. It's getting more real. You can feel it. It's tactile now. Yeah. And we're going to try and see a lot of places. It's not not stressful.

I'm hoping that once we sort of have our little sort of map set out and have a plan that we'll be able to enjoy ourselves. But we've already reached out to a lot of these places and they're like, oh, are you looking for like midweek? Because that's all we have. And it's like, no, we're not going to get married on a Wednesday. Can I throw out three words that would solve all your problems? Yeah, go for it. Dave and Busters.

Available on the weekends. I just went to a Dave and Busters for the first time in years. Yeah. My buddy Molly wanted to go for her birthday, and instead she had a garden party. And then it was Devin's birthday, and she was like, Devin, how about Dave and Buster's and he's like I just want someone to like make dinner for me and I want to watch basketball and she's like they got TVs and they have dinner so we went

um when I walked in I was the first one there and there's someone that greets you and they're like hey welcome to Dave and Buster's do you want want to get a power card or whatever they're called? And I was like, yeah. I was like, I need one of those because we're going to play some games. And she's like, well, what value do you want? And I was like, well, what's the best deal? And she's like, if you get three cards at a $45 value,

they each get bumped up to 60. And I was like, oh yeah, that's what I want. I need to get four cards. So I was like, I'll do that. And then she was like, do you want to supercharge them? And I was like, yeah. Because we had like five or six people meeting us there and I was like, well, everyone's going to use these cards.

So first of all, I just want to say, you're literally their dream. I am their dream. Oh, my God. Immediately. It's like, yes, yes, yes, yes. So they went back and they were like, nobody. Remember that supercharged thing that we said nobody was ever going to do? OK, so keep going.

So right away, my tally within the first minute is $220. Incredible. She's like she gives me a thing to sign because she's like, we need to confirm that someone this is going to end up in court. They want to get your signature on a legal document. And she

says, and I'd appreciate it if you put a tip on here. I've talked to her for one minute and I'm like fired up. I'm at my buddy Devin's birthday and I'm like, yeah, you said yes to Devin's birthday and I'm like yeah you said yes to everything you tip as well I tipped her 20 bucks and I don't want to say she did nothing

but I it sounds like you've already on this podcast it seems like you have told us everything she's done and it's gone very quickly yeah it's gone very quickly and I tipped her 20 spot and then we're having a very mediocre dinner. Sure.

Watching great basketball. Not known for their food. It was great basketball that night. But one of the guys at our table goes and buys a card. And I was like, no, these are like, I have paid for the cards. I want, like I gave one to Devin. I'm like, that's your birthday present.

Happy birthday from me. I put a lot of thought into this. And then the end of the night, I have four cards. I don't know how much money is on them. But now I have to go back to Dave and Buster's. Oh, so you didn't burn through the cards. No, I mean, we sort of tried to. A lot of the games were pretty unimpressive uh yeah i will say or like you

play some game you're like let's play this one and you're like what's happening and you have no idea yeah in my little drawer here i got i got all these you got too many of those i got all these cards i had a really harrowing thing happen i was an airport, I can't remember which airport, and there was a retro arcade. Mm. And none of the games were from our youth. What? They were all

video games from the mid-90s. But, you know, post my time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In an arcade. Yeah. And that was shocking that there is a retro era

that wasn't even my retro era that's how old I am now yeah that's heartbreaking yeah um so anyhow

maybe we'll do our wedding at Dave and Buster's well you got I mean you're already like sort of in like you're pot committed to Dave and Buster's yeah

if anyone out there knows a great place to get married we're kind of although that's gonna create a real wave of people being like. Yeah. Yeah.

But we want like, we want sort of like a property that people can like stay at for a long weekend. Gotcha. And like relax and hang out. So when they said, are you looking for midweek? Is that because, are you aiming for thisweek? Is that because are you aiming for this year? That's what they're thinking. And I said, no, like, like, talk to me about 2025. And then they're like, well, fill out the inquiry inquiry form. And a couple places. I'm like, well, we're just going to be driving through. So can we just like pop onto the property? And they're like, we need to set up like a tour. And I was like, I don't't want a tour I just want to like see it like I'm I don't like I don't like going into a store and having someone be like can I help you find something it's like I know where the pants are like yeah like a clothing store and then if they're like

do you need help finding another size it's like I bet I bet I can do it on my own. I don't, I don't like. The only thing you like when you enter a place is somebody immediately upselling you on the cards. Well, clearly I got a problem. Yeah. Yeah. As soon as someone who works at that establishment can get their hooks into me,

that's, there goes my wallet. I got a quick upsell story from last night where I actually, I was going to upsell myself. I was at a steakhouse with some buddies. Never do that. And I was going to get a filet. I'm sure there's some judgy sighs from listeners right now. But I wasn't hungry, so I got an eight-ounce filet.

Filet's delicious. For someone who doesn't eat meat anymore do you want a bigger steak that's full of fat and gristle or do you want a small steak I think some people do but I'm not one of those people so anyway Josh not only were you

not one of them if there was any fat on a home prepared steak you'd send it back to our mother's kitchen. She had to remove all the steak with a fine-toothed knife. It was also weird because we ate at the kitchen table, so I'd have to send it back. It was very awkward, right? It was sort of like, it was real chef's table.

So then I notice on the menu, there's the filet, and then there's like the Wagyu super filet, right? Right. Two and a half times the price, maybe? Uh-huh. And everybody at the table was getting the filet, and I said, you know what, let's get one of the super Wagyu filets and just see if we can taste the difference.

Yeah. was getting the filet and I said, you know what, let's get one of the super Wagyu filets and just see if we can taste the difference. Let's see if it's at two and a half times the price. It's got to be a noticeable difference. And then the waiter, I told the waiter my plan and he to his credit said, ah, don't do that.

And I was, you know, got a very nice tip from the table because he was he he preached he even knew he was downselling us yeah i wonder if he knows that if one table does that then they will learn without a shadow of a doubt that it is garbage right and then they'll tell other people and then they'll never sell any of them they They need a table that's going to do, we want four of those Wagyu steaks. Yes. And they also,

or if it's like, we're going to get three, my buddies are all getting the lasagna. They just can't have two of them. They can't have the comparison happening. Yeah. So that, he actually,

okay, yeah, maybe he was smarter than just virtuous. The other thing though about the description of the steak was a little off-putting, the Wagyu steak. I've never seen it. It was wet-aged. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, right? That's not good. Nah. That's not good ad speak. No. It just makes you think, so like a piece of steak just like, I don't know, they put it on a fish hook and like lower it into the into the water uh for me so how do you guys i have a question yeah do you feel like you i mean i think this could be stressful for for you and mckenzie

yeah look at the venues do you feel like you guys have discussed like how to keep a chill vibe? Because pre-wedding stuff is, you know, can be very fraught. Yeah. I don't think it'll be stressful when we get into it. It's stressful when we're like talking about it before we're there. But when we go, I think we just want to go to a place and kind of be able to envision our wedding there and be like, oh, this is great. Like this is,

people are going to be happy here and we're going to be happy here and it'll be beautiful. And also if we are going to, if we are end up, that's how you say that, right? If we are, if we do end up looking at 2025, I feel like we're sort of ahead of those early birds.

Like we're the earliest of the early birds. Well, I cannot wait for that very special Tuesday in February. I remember our stressful, we, I don't need to tell you, Posh, you were there, but our wedding was at a friend's property. And they were building a barn on the property. Yeah. That we then, that was where the dancing was after the event. Yeah.

And we went to look at it while they were building, and it was an old barn, so there was like the dugout basement. And they were building this reclaimed wood to build the barn. And there were just like beams over the basement. And we had Frisbee. It was very small at the time. Your dog. Frisbee, yeah.

Italian greyhound. And I remember I said we should put her on a leash, and Alexei said, we don't have to put her on a leash. Don't be crazy. And then at some point, Frisbee ran and jumped over the basement, and I was sure she was just going to fall into the bay and explode. Yeah. And instead, landed weirdly like

landed on the beam and it was like a balance beam and we all everybody like gasped and she meant she like backed she like was terrified in her little legs and she managed to back off the beam yeah and i to this day i'm like i don't know if we would have gotten married if the we'd gone and visited the venue and the dog had exploded right especially because one of us had said let's put the dog on a leash yeah if we had been dancing over the spot where she had uh yeah she did once jump into an empty swimming pool really yeah and i that definitely i mean again you know frisbee what frisbee looks like if you saw frisbee jump into an empty swimming pool you would in the moment before she hit the ground

think rest in peace frisbee right i would think she would break into like a thousand pieces a thousand pieces yeah and she weirdly like i don't know managed to like put her arms and legs and just like scraped her belly and uh definitely was a little out of it for the rest of the day. But she's not a dog that's ever jumped into a pool of water, is she? Yeah. So I think maybe she was trying to off herself. Frisbee's still with us though. Yeah.

Somewhere. Under a blanket. Yeah. Somewhere under a blanket. You can't sit on a blanket in one of your houses. You have to check first. It's a very high risk that the dog is under a blanket. Because, yeah, she wouldn't.

You don't see even like a lump of something. You just see blanket. Yeah. She's that small. This is a very exciting interview we had it's a two-hander yeah talk to a couple of folks who are hosting a wonderful podcast together johnny knoxville i think everybody knows who johnny knoxville is and elna baker his co-host who everybody's going to be happy they know if they don't already by the end of this podcast.

Give it a listen. They were fantastic. They have very disparate backgrounds. But before you listen to them, give a listen to Jeff Tweedy. Family trips with the Myers Brothers, here we go. Yeah. Hello, Louise.

Yes, look at this. Hello, Johnny. Hi. Hello, Elna. How's it going? Good. Elna, maybe best Hello, Elna. How's it going? Good. Elna, maybe best backdrop we've had. Probably.

It's pretty legit. It says the majority report behind me, but I moved it, so it's not misleading. It is lovely to see both of you. I'm very just cognizant of the fact that you are going to have two very incredibly diverse, divergent, I should say, childhoods, and I'm very excited to get into it.

But I've both known you for like over 20 years. Johnny, I met you when you hosted SNL. And Elna, I met you pretty much when I moved to New York because my first,

one of my first friends is my now sister-in-law, and you were college friends with her. Yeah, yeah. So how about that? Well, we have a history. We have what you most want on this podcast, some history.

Yes. And Johnny, I will say, as someone who, I don't really like going to, I'm not the kind of person who goes to a theater to see a movie multiple times. Yes. But all those jackass movies are 100% double takes. Oh. And it's so fun. Every time

you'd put out a new movie, you just feel like you're friends with everyone in the theater when you see those because it's such a shared

experience. Trauma bonding. Trauma bonding. Yeah, so thank you. Thank you. That's very nice. And I haven't seen any of those movies,

but I did see Dukes of Hazzard 10 times. Talking about trauma bonding. Wait, first of all, explain how you two met because I'm delighted to have you both together, but you are not a natural match. No, we're not. I mean, they put us together to make the show that we're making for SmartLess. But then we met and immediately it was like, oh, yeah, you know.

So somebody had this idea to put you together to host a podcast. Yeah. Yes. And first of all, tell us about your podcast real quick off the top. Well, on the surface, if you think, oh well they're they're kind of uh opposite uh personalities but if you talk to elena for five minutes you'll find that we're not what does that mean but you'll launch into story sometime that my face is totally red and I don't even know what to say. It's, yeah, so how we met, yeah, the podcast is called Pretty Sure I Can Fly.

And it's about people that have done something, most of the time, very daring and achieve something great against all odds. Everyone telling them they're crazy, but they still persevered and saw it through. And it's enabled us to do tributes to some of our favorite people today and in history. Pretty good. I'm very happy you guys are together, especially because we get to talk to you. Also, Johnny, you've been mentioned twice

by previous guests on this podcast. Oh. Both Jimmy Kimmel and Jake Tapper saw your son total a golf cart. Oh, yeah. Rocco. Yeah, he was involved, but he wasn't driving,

which is unbelievable. But yeah, Rocco is a real pill. We should have named him Murray from accounting or something because he just kind of sowed his fate with that name. Yeah. Tapper said your only question after the incident was, did you get it on tape? It's not a bad question. It's not a bad question. Everyone was everyone was fine we have a couple buddies uh we go on a trip every year with a bunch of our college friends and two of them rolled a golf cart a

couple years ago and it was uh it's a real thing it's a real thing yeah bless their heart but they sort of and again late 40s when this happened these gentlemen they we were all laughing about it and then we noticed they were a little ashen-faced, and one of them admitted to me later that he thought he was going to die. I'm sure, you know, you get on the golf course, get a few beers in you, and who knows what's going to happen.

Yeah. All right, so we got one of you famously from Knoxville, and Elena, you grew up in Washington State. Yes, I was born in Washington State, and then we moved to Madrid when I was nine, so I grew up in Washington State. Yes, I was born in Washington State, and then we moved to Madrid when I was nine. So I grew up in Madrid in England. And so before nine, and you're one of five. Yes. Were you the kind of family, I mean, because it's very fascinating that you ended up in Madrid in England. That seems like you're a very well-traveled group. But did you take a lot of trips before that?

travel group. Did you take a lot of trips before that? Oh, yeah. Mormon, big Mormon family, a lot of like RV trips, you know, just like constant because it's all family time, family time, family time. And where did you have regular destinations or? We would go camping with my grandparents. And actually one of my as I was thinking of the show, I was trying to to think of like my most vivid vacation memory came from one of those RV trips, which was my grandpa. Well, first you have to understand my grandpa was a dick, huge dick, like just a fucking dick, my grandpa. Now, is dick a role in the Mormon church or is that you're using it the way we use it? It was substantiated by the patriarchy, his dickishness. But he lived on a recliner chair.

He was bald. He was like a grown, if you put a magic potion on a baby and they became a man, he looked like a baby, but he was a man. And you couldn't touch his reclining chair. No one could sit on it. My grandma like waited on him hand and foot. He was mean, too. I remember when I was a little girl, he I said, when I grew up, my dream is to be an actress. And he said, no one wants to see a fat girl on TV. You know, it's like, who does that when a kid says their dream? How old were you? I was probably like,

I was a little older than, I think I was 13 when I said that. But again, remember, he was only four in an old man's body. Yes, yes. So one of my favorite vacation memories, we went on this RV trip that we would always do every summer with this grandpa.

And we're all there, cousins, family, tents, everything. And he has his like precious motor home that's like sacred, you know. And so he says, nobody use the bathroom. I have to clean out the septic tank. And everyone knew, everyone knew. But my cousin Dan did not get the memo. And next thing you know, you hear a scream and my grandpa comes running from behind the RV and on his bald head, there's like a perfect swirly shit. Like it really was. Like perfectly on his head, this shit.

It looked like an ice cream, you know, like swirl. And he's yelling and he's running, right? He's literally running and the shit doesn't fall. And then he just starts like, which one of you did like lining us up? Which one of you did this? But he doesn't take the shit off his head. And I even, I called my dad to be like,

did that happen? Because I was just like, it's such a memory of him turning this corner with the shit stuck to his head. And my dad was like, yeah,

it was like cartoonish. It didn't even seem possible the way that shit was stuck to his head. Now, this does really support Johnny's earlier comment that you're more alike than we would oh my god that does seem like like shit hat does seem like a jackass

all you gotta do is just let her go and gold comes out now is that was your grandfather your dad's or your mom's father? My mom's dad. Gotcha. And so how did your dad feel about him? Did your dad think he was maybe a bad guy or a poorly behaved man? My dad's way of always dealing with conflict was like faces, right? So like, you know, anything my grandpa did, my dad would just like look over at you, like make big eyes and be like, that's crazy. We all know that's crazy.

We'd never say anything. It was just like whispers to the side, like, don't listen to him. I have no memory of our paternal grandfather's personality, Josh. Really? But he did look like a baby in an old man. He also had that baby look. And he wore very high-waisted pants with suspenders. That's what my grandpa wore. Wow.

And I think they were, it's just the last person I ever saw who dressed that way. I think it was basically, we're done with this look, and we're the last era of people that are going to do it. But I remember he famously, we had three-legged kitchen table chairs. Yeah, terrible design. And he was in a plastic three-legged chair and uh he leaned back to see a squirrel because he'd never seen a squirrel before and he he tumbled real it was a real humpty dumpty moment in my recollection because he did kind of look like

an egg in a in pants hey we're gonna take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors this episode of family trips is supported by the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder. From muddy jungle paths to snowy trails to rolling sand dunes, the 2024 Nissan Pathfinder has the capability to take you to some of the most epic destinations on Earth. And we're excited to once again partner with Nissan because as our listeners know, this podcast, Family Trips, is occasionally a podcast about trips and about the joy of having adventures

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with code TRIPS. Mando. At shopmando.com. Now, what about you, Johnny? Did you have deep family in Knoxville? Like, were your grandparents around where you, Johnny? Did you did you have deep family in Knoxville? Like were your grandparents around where you grew up? My dad's father passed when I was around nine months old and my mom's dad was around, but I didn't get to see him as much because he remarried and it was like a contentious thing between the family. He remarried and it was like a contentious thing between the family. But I do when Eleanor was talking. I do remember an RV story from my father, too, when we get ready to go on a trip. He had this old bread truck.

That was converted into an RV. He had his buddy who would always do that kind of thing. There's no pictures of it, unfortunately, but we're getting ready to go on a trip probably to like Gatlinburg or the Smoky Mountain National Forest. And he was like, I believe your grandfather was cleaning out the, what do you call it? The septic? Yeah, the septic tank.

And I guess he, I don't know what happened, but he unscrewed it. And the whole thing, he was on his back and the whole thing just, just went down into his face. And my aunt Phyllis, whenever she would get really tickled, she couldn't contain herself and she would pee. She peed her pants. My dad got up and he thought it was, he wased out but he thought it was hilarious he's like wow if i hadn't had my mouth open that hit me right in the face and my mom goes to the trunk to get a towel for him and she finds his whiskey bottle so not only was he covered in shit, now he was in trouble with my mother because she found his stash of whiskey. The day he most needed a hard drink.

Oh, yeah. If you knew my father, you'd want to take that whiskey from him. But, yeah, he could come out with funny lines under duress. So that was a pretty fond memory for our family. What kind of trips did you take? Would you take the converted bread truck camping as well? Yeah, I was very young. I don't even remember being there for that incident,

but I was probably too young to remember, but we would go to Daytona beach or Myrtle beach every year. And I remember I was pretty naughty when I was little because I had two older sisters. I was, I had two older sisters and I want to get back to Ellen's stories because they're so much better than mine. But I had two older sisters and they would always, they and their friends would put me up to naughtiness along with my father. I was like a program monkey. But sometimes that would backfire because I was rewarded for being naughty. And we're staying at, we stayed at the Treasure Island in Daytona Beach every year. And we stayed at the Treasure Island in Daytona Beach every year.

And I was out on the balcony looking down, and my mom heard a terrible commotion. And people were yelling up at me and her. She ran out to see what was going on. She said, your son just threw water on us. And me wanting to be completely honest, I'm like, no, I actually you and oh my god they got even more they got even angrier and then my mom just oh i got in so much trouble i like that you wanted to be more honest i wanted to come clean maybe i should have kept that one to myself this is me i feel like this is, and again,

this is probably deeply unfair to Daytona Beach, but I almost feel like half the people who go on vacation, they are going to get a little pee on them. Yeah. It's Chuck Berry time down in Daytona. And Eleanor, where do you fall in your siblings? There's five of you.

I'm second of five. Yeah. Do you have any not grandpa getting shit on-head sort of memories from these camping trips? I'm assuming they were mostly out west, I would think, if you're in Tacoma. Well, actually, what we did—so the camping trips were out west, and then when I was nine, we moved overseas. And my mom had never left the, you know, Washington state. And she was mostly Mormon communities. And then, like, suddenly—if you're in Europe, like, driving to another country is and usually mostly Mormon communities. And then like suddenly,

if you're in Europe, like driving to another country is like driving to another state. Yeah. So we would, they would pack us in a minivan. They had these two maroon crates that they put on top of the minivan full of our stuff. And then we would just go from country to country. We went like one summer, we went to 25 countries and they would just be like, oh wow, so Austria is there. Let's go. Like they never made any plans and it only backfired. I remember one time we went to Czech Republic. This was like shortly after it was like open to tourists. This was like early 90s. And we got there late at night and there were no hotels. They couldn't find any hotels. There was like nowhere to stay. And so they went up to a long line of like taxi cab drivers and they went to the first guy and they were like, do you know a hotel or a

bed and breakfast? And he was like, in broken English, he was like, you're in luck. I own a bed and breakfast. You know, just come back to the bed and breakfast. And like Mormons are so trusting. My parents are so trusting. I think I was like 10 and I was like, this guy's going to kill us. I just knew this guy was going to kill us. And I was like, what? So we follow him like 45 minutes to like the middle of nowhere. Like we're in like the forest and there's his, it's his house. It is not a bed and breakfast. It's just this man's house, right?

And so we go into the house and I am so vocal to my parents about like, you know, he's going to kill us. I just keep saying like, he's going to kill us. And they don't believe me. So I decided to make a police report and they thought it was so cute, like so funny, right? So I had a notebook. A preemptive police report. And they thought it was so cute, like so funny, right? So I had a notebook. A preemptive police report. Yeah, yeah.

So I went out to the car and I got the license plate number. Wow. I wrote down like when we met him, what were the circumstances. And then I drew a picture. I was like, you'll know him when you see this face, right? And I drew a picture. But, of course, it's like a kid picture. So it's like googly eyes and like scribble hair.

Oh, yeah. And then I was like, well, then I remember trying to go to sleep and I was like, oh, what if he, what if he kills us? And then he throws the police report away. I was just so thoroughly into this. So I crumpled it up and I put it in my underwear. And I slept with the police report in my underwear so when they found our dumped bodies, they would be able to find this police report.

Do you still have that police report? Do you know? No, I don't. I don't think I do. That would be great. I was going to say that he was maybe, he was probably offended by you writing down his license plate number

and all the paperwork. But, you know, if he'd been behind the Iron Curtain for that long, that was probably just the normal amount of things. That was normal, yeah. This level of surveillance was just par for the course. I like that the minute capitalism was available, it's like, bed and breakfast, eh?

Yeah, yeah. I can make that work. I can make that work. Come to our house. I'm sure he's offended having to sit for his own police sketch. Now, did you, were you guys excited when, on a 25-country summer, were you as kids into this?

Honestly, like, most of those memories as kids are throw-up stories because we were always throwing up in the car. So it's just like, and we had a, the catchphrase was, not another castle because they just took us to so many castles. Was there one of your siblings who was more prone to throwing up or it really started? Julia. Julia threw up. Julia.

And Julia was always like, like her throw ups were always like, I feel. And then like one time my mom's purse, she just leaned forward and went, I feel, and then literally filled the entire purse with puke. And she would throw up so much, my mom got good at it. So we were visiting England, and I remember she was wearing a Bobby hat, like a souvenir Bobby hat, and Julia started to go, I feel, and my mom just reached from the front, grabbed the Bobby hat, and put it over her face in perfect timing to catch all the vomit. I know it didn't happen, but I'm just going to picture at some point a perfect vomit swirl was on your grandfather's head. This, I feel like also when you're driving to a castle, I feel like those are real throw-up roads.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I feel like, sure, once you get to a castle, I feel like those are real throw-up roads. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I feel like, sure, once you get to a castle, it's nice, but the very where you tried to put a castle, even in medieval times, you wanted to make sure that if people wanted to get there for sort of bad reasons, they were going to have an upset stomach by the time they were there.

One of our worst trips was we went to Barcelona, and they, like, I don't know how it happened, but somewhere on the way, my shoe fell out of the car. So we get to Barcelona and I don't have a shoe. And my parents like want to see Barcelona. So they're like, well, you just walk with a sock and a shoe. And I had to say, and it was, and I remember like, they're like, we'll buy you a shoe tomorrow when the stores open. So we like sightseed with me like just disgusting walking all over the street. And then the next day, all the shops were closed for like a holiday or something. So then I still couldn't get a shoe.

And we went through like a fish market. And it was just like covered in like guts. And I was walking through it. And I was just like, oh like guts and I was walking through it and I was just like, oh, I hate this. You know what? I'm going to say something. I don't mind teaching your kid a lesson

when their shoe falls out of a car. I do think it's a little cruel to walk them through a fish market. For two days without a shoe? Yeah. Also, maybe I'm wrong. Yeah, I got a shoe on the third day. I've never heard like,

if you go to Barcelona, you gotta walk through the fish market. Oh, my God. Also, last summer, I was with Seth and his family, and you were trying to get all the kids in the car, and one of your kids, like, they couldn't find their shoes. And I was like, is there not a second pair of shoes for this kid? But I guess with five kids all packed into one minivan, you probably got like... It was a one day, you know, one shot, one shoe. Yeah.

That's it. Also, if Alexi could pack our family in a manila envelope, she would. The idea of a second pair of shoes on a trip is never going to happen. Yeah. It's very tightly. Everything's very snug.

I was hoping that you had lost that shoe because you were like, I guess we have to go shopping. Like you just wanted to get a pair of those Barcelona shoes that everyone's been talking about. Espridellos or whatever. Yeah. How much older were your sisters, Johnny?

Eight and 10 years older. Oh God. So you were really a little scamp. Yeah. My father told me I was an M&M baby. I'm like, what's that? He's like, you came between menstruation and menopause. And I was like, oh. You know what? That's nice about that. That's the kind of joke a kid likes. Yeah. He said, the best part of you ran down your mama's crack. And I was like, The best part of you ran down your mama's crack.

Oh, boy, oh, boy. And the worst part, my mom would go, oh, honey, it did not. I'm like, don't defend him. Don't defend that statement. I realize he's saying it to be funny, but when you say that, and I was born with a club foot, so I think he's actually right. Well, yeah, now that you're laying out some data, I feel like maybe we're too quick to judge. Yeah. And would you, was that a drive when you guys would go down to Florida? Yeah, it was, it felt like, you know, in little kid time, it felt like three days.

It was like a 12-hour drive, but it felt so long. And I bet it's a, I mean, it's certainly in my head that feels like a long, hot drive. Yes, it was. head that feels like a long hot drive yes it was because in the south you know it's so humid you gotta chew the air before you can breathe it and you're stuck in a hot car and there's air conditioning i guess but it's uh it was you know that's when it's a kid problem you know what was a daytona beach vacation like were you just was it all on the beach the whole time yeah it was all on the we stayed at the hotel mostly uh but the highlight for me was one of the highlights was going to the boardwalk and getting uh uh like a iron-on shirt or an airbrush t-shirt.

I remember being very, that was a highlight, or seeing how fast you could throw with the baseball, you know, that kind of touristy stuff I loved. It's funny being a parent now, because I remember those things filling a whole day but when you go to a fair say with your children like the baseball thing takes like three minutes right and now you still have there's still like now seven hours and 57 minutes until it's bedtime and you're like what how did this not take longer it's just yeah just I don't the little kid energy, you're just playing in the ocean for hours or building sandcastles or, you know, I loved our time in Daytona.

Yeah. Being so much younger, would you find, like, other kids to play with on the beach and things? Oh, yeah. I would usually fall in love with a girl down there. I would always meet a girl who I really would write to after, you know, for two or three letters. Did you really follow through?

That's really impressive. Oh yeah. Yeah. I, I would follow through each year for two or three, four letters. And then it kind of, you know, you stop writing. But you're romantic at heart.

I love it. Oh, yes, yes. And hours in the arcade at the hotel. There's a beach in New Hampshire called Hampton Beach, and I think it is the opposite of what people picture a sort of New England beach being. It is very much what you're describing. It is the Florida of the Northeast, and it is casinos and arcades and fried dough and certainly airbrushed t-shirts. But it was amazing. It was a cornucopia for kids our age. And like my dad never, he never cooked at all. But when we would go to the beach, he would always make me Rice Krispies with bananas every morning. And it's a weird thing to remember. But it's, you know, as a kid, I liked that.

Yeah. Got to get your energy up. You might meet the woman of your dreams out there. I did every year. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Shout out to Claritin for supporting this episode and providing us with samples.

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Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Now, do you still have friends from your Spain and England years? Did you keep in touch with people you met over there? There's some. We have church friends. Cause like a lot of, even though we were like living abroad, we like, we're like Mormons, you know? So, and of course all my, all my parents' friends,

it turns out they were all in the CIA. Cause like Mormons are like notoriously in the CIA. So like all these people that we went to church with were like in the CIA. So like all these people that we went to church with were like in the CIA. Wow. And so at what age do you sort of find that out? And do they admit it to you or do you sort of suss it out on your own adult reasoning? I think when they retire, that's when my friends found out that their parents were CIA. Were you ever bummed that your parents weren't? Well, like I've always like like i've always wondered if they were like i've been because my dad like i mean he worked for boeing which at this moment is not

not not not a great uh no but a very good cia cover job very good cia cover job and uh and then he so they moved from seattle to spain to england and then then to um Siberia my dad ran a titanium factory in Siberia which was like it was a dream of mine to like visit and run down the hall and like knock things over and be like it's daddy's factory but then he went from the titanium factory to a factory in China. So he's always in the big spaces. Did you do Siberia? Were you there? I went to Siberia.

For how long? Just for two weeks. Gotcha. Yeah, I was in Siberia for two weeks. And a lot of the people I know who vacation there say you pretty much get it in two weeks. Yeah. I mean, the one cool thing about it was like, so I remember we went to, there's these ghost towns there

that are just totally abandoned. And you can just kind of go from house to house. And going from house to house, everyone had the same stuff. Because I guess like under communism, like if you wanted to buy a chair, you had like chair option a or b and that was it or only one option of crib and these houses just seem like people you know like the they just evaporated and uh like the rapture and so there were the empty all the furniture but every house was exactly the same like all the same stuff it was so interesting

that's eerie it was very it is such a it's maybe one of the worst things you can have as a tourist does it it's like we have these really cool ghost towns oh what happened to the people we don't want to say but there's only two kinds of chairs and so at that point had you you moved back to Washington after this? Yeah, then they moved back to another Arizona. Gotcha. And I'm not Mormon anymore. My brother isn't Mormon anymore.

But we still go do the whole Mormon family Christmases. And so all the vacations are still very Mormon. How deep does your Mormon Christmas go? How many people are going to be on site? Oh, there's like cousins. There's like 50 people. 50 people at one meal? Yeah, yeah.

No, it gets huge. And was that the norm when you were growing up as well? It was pretty big growing up. Not as big, but in Arizona, it's just like, you know, nonstop family non-stop family non-stop family games but then the hard thing is that um when we go back for family vacation my brother so we finally worked through this but basically like my parents get really upset if they saw us drinking coffee so we like weren't allowed to drink coffee so every christmas when

we go home my brother i would be would be like, oh, I want to get, I started my period, I need to get tampons. And then my brother would be like, I'll come get tampons with you. And we would just go to town, take a Starbucks and get coffee, right? And so like we do this for like years. And finally, like my dad was like called and he was like look I know you're not getting tampons I know you're getting coffee and like you guys are only here for a few days like why don't we just I'll buy a coffee machine like I want you here I don't want you gone all day and I was like are you sure he was like yeah yeah so I was like you know what I can bring one you don't have to see it year-round like Satan in the corner like i'll just bring a handheld coffee thing right so i brought one we make coffee

in the morning the whole family's like gathered around the kitchen island it's great it's like i had no idea you could just be normal with your family then my mom walks in she walks straight to the window not speaking to anyone and just starts stoically like staring out the window, not speaking to anyone, and just starts stoically like staring out the window and doesn't say anything for like a few minutes. And finally, I'm like, mom, are you okay? And she's like, honestly, like your father didn't consult me about the coffee and I'm not taking it away, but I don't feel comfortable with this in my house. So then the next day, my dad wakes my brother and I up at like 830. He's like, get up, get up. Your mom's walking the dog. Make the coffee, make the coffee, make the coffee. And he's like, hey, get down here. And then he grabs a whole thing of apple juice and

pours it into a frying pan and like dumps a thing of cinnamon and he's like stirring it to cover up the smell to counteract the smell of the coffee and he opens all the windows and then he's like just hurry don't make such a big production and then he's like literally it like over boils and he's like ah you know

and so we finish our coffee my mom comes back it smells like so intense of apples. He's like, we just had five pies. So then the next day, I come down and I can't find the coffee maker anywhere. And I know she hid it, right? So I say to my dad, I'm like, guess, mom, where the coffee maker is. And he's like, find it.

Don't ask your mother. Just find it. Find it. And we can't find it. So finally, I'm like, to my mom, I'm like, have, Mom, where the coffee maker is. And he's like, find it. Don't ask your mother. Just find it. Find it. And we can't find it. So finally, I'm like, to my mom, I'm like, have you seen the coffee maker? And she's like, where did I? You know, I think I did see that. Where was that?

And, like, she walks out of the house into the garage, to the back of the garage, and, like, on a shelf behind things. She's like, oh, yeah, here. That's where that was. You know what? Now that I think of it, I think I smashed it into a thousand pieces. But then the final thing that happened with the coffee was my brother. Okay, so I have a brother-in-law. He's kind of, I like him now, but initially he was like very pompous.

So I was like not into him. He's British. Wow, that's pompous. I went without saying. Pompous British man. It's his first Christmas there. My mom has made a cheese plate for everyone. And there's like a big hunk of cheddar on the cheese plate, right?

So Tristan goes over the cheese plate. Takes the entire hunk of cheddar on the cheese plate, right? So Tristan goes over the cheese plate, takes the entire hunk of cheddar. Takes the entire? Entire hunk. Takes the whole cheddar on his plate and just starts eating it. Like... And my brother and I are watching,

and we're like, is he trolling us? Like, what is he? What kind of psychopath? Like, I don't know why he, he like i don't know if he just thought like every each piece of cheese on the cheese plate it's like dessert one person picks one yeah i mean he ate the whole thing of cheese like that's more cheese than anyone should be well he's gonna need a coffee yeah yeah so then he leaves and i'm making fun of him with my brother. We're like making fun of him. And my mom is like pathologically nice.

You don't make fun of people, right? So she's really offended that I've been making fun of him for eating the cheese. So she's like, you know, I'm going to bed early. And I don't even know at this point that she's mad at me, but she leaves. And we're all like hanging around, you know, talking around the tree, hanging out. And then I look at my phone and I have six emails from my mother. And the emails are all,

I don't even know how she found this like, like, you know, Venn diagram, but all scientific reports about like, what's better for you, cheese or coffee? Oh my gosh. And every finding is coffee is worse like so it is i will say it's nice that your mother when she is displeased with something she either puts voice to it or she puts herself in a position where you have to

address it like it doesn't go unaddressed she gets very dramatic she's very johnny knows the story but i have only ever had one internet troll and it turned out to be my mother like she made fake name fake account made fake accounts fake people uh to troll me yeah and this is to troll you for your you for her disappointment in certain choices you've made? Yeah. She's like Garbo, the famous spy from World War II who had like 42 other spies that he would pretend to be. So it's safe to say that your parents are both deeply loving and also disappointed? Is that a fair way to?

Yeah, that's like, I mean, they're wonderful. I have great parents. Their coming across is wonderful. Yeah. I do want to stress that as well. Deeply loving and, you know, they wish I had the same values as them. Yeah. Sure. And they have three... So three daughters still Mormon. Yes. Gotcha.

Are they disappointed or are they kind of understand having grown up with you? It varies, but I think they're pretty understanding. I feel like they're on this, you know, religiously, like it varies from sibling to sibling. Gotcha. Which is worse in your parents' eyes, like coffee, beer, weed, or are they all the same? They're all pretty much the same. So then when you think about it that way

to your mom it was like your dad said you guys can have a bong in the kitchen. Totally. Totally. And she wasn't consulted. Yeah. So that

you know what if they're all the same I feel like your dad should have asked her. He should have. You bring heroin into my house you ask. Do they were they again I'm just

guessing based on everything you've told me about the way they seem to address conflict on these road trips, because if Josh and I had gone with our parents to 25 countries in a summer, I think both of my parents would have spent a night in a foreign jail just based on their behavior with one another. Do they ever fight on these stressful trips? No, my parents are like buddies. They love each other. I mean, our parents love each other too, but they are, I mean, buddies. I mean, they are buddies.

They are buddies. Yeah, yeah, they're buddies. So they never like raise their voices with each other or anything? No, no no never what was the goal of visiting 25 countries in once it feels like a like a stunt how many days would you spend in i mean it was that was it really was like uh it was a very american approach it was like how many can we do? Yeah, Germany. Let's go, let's go, Luxembourg. There should be a German word for when Johnny Knoxville says,

what's the point of that? Did you have a favorite? Do you remember as a kid, like if you, when you were, if we'd have met you when you were 13, what country would you have told us you have to go to i remember uh being in france and biarritz was like i just remember walking out on like a

really long like not a i guess it was just like a concrete path into the ocean a jetty and yeah i guess so yeah and then the way it was built like the waves, these huge waves would just sort of almost clear you. So you were almost under the arch of the wave watching it. I just thought it was so beautiful. I mean, we saw a lot. I mean, it was a cool thing to do because like you were learning about the history of the world while you're seeing. You're learning about World War II and then you're going to the beaches of Normandy. Like it was sort of like everything in history that happened is real.

I would say, I think it might be impossible for a 13-year-old to say, you have to go to Biarritz. It would make you want to slap them. That seems like something somebody would say in Talented Mr. Ripley. I know. You have to go to the jetties of Biarritz. Well, it's such a mixture because like I'm Mormon and then I have this, like people don't expect a Mormon to know, you know what I mean?

Like you have, it's like a total contradiction of things. Do you think anyone in your parents' church is like, well, what did you expect? You took her to 25 countries in one summer. Of course she's going to leave the church. My dad says that all the time. He does. He goes, I think, you know, honestly, did we do you a disservice by showing you the world? Because these, you know, simple good choices that we want you to make, you can't seem to make them.

You know, if only I hadn't have taken you to Prague. Johnny, what was the first time you took a trip with your family on an airplane? Do you remember that? Yes. I was four years old and we went to the Dominican Republic. All right. To Santa Domingo. And I remember a few things from the trip. I remember getting some red, white, and blue Sheltow Adidas. I remember eating fried bananas for the first time.

Bananas are big on your trips. Really clear banana memories. Yeah, if it's a vacation, you know Johnny's got those bananas. Yeah, and I was backed up like a Chinese traffic jam the whole trip. And I remember my dad, when you're taking a shower, he would always go get a glass of ice water and pour it over the top and dump it on your head. And he did it to my sister there, and she fell down and bruised her leg.

And yeah, that's, but that was the first plane trip. You're like a pranks home. You grew up in a pranks home. Yeah, my dad pranked, the only reason he had a tire company was to be able to prank his employees. And he did it constantly.

I'm surprised he could get anyone to work for him. Like what kind of stuff would he do? Make X-Lax milkshakes for them. Stuff that would, you know, probably get you charged today. today. He would write letters to their wives from the VD clinic saying they have to come in unless their last 10 partners, they contracted a venereal disease, signed Carlin C. Tittmore. And it looked like some crazy, it was like rubberamped VD clinic. And it clearly didn't look official. But people, I find this today, when you're doing something in prank, if they become emotional, then they believe everything. So they would just see VD clinic and they start spinning.

And some people went down to the health department with these letters. Was he deeply proud then of the path that you ended up taking? Yes. He, my parents were so proud. I mean, people would just come deliver a pizza at the house or something and dad would open up the door and say, home of Johnny Knoxville. You know, it's great. It was really sweet. Do you think he did he have a VD clinic stamp made up or did he steal it from the VD clinic? No, it was like, you know, you just put the V in and the D, you know, he loaded in. And so everything was kind of crooked. You know, he would write letters from the IRS saying they're going to be audited get your books

together also you have vd yeah also here's a milkshake also here's a milkshake for your troubles he would stage gunfights at the christmas parties you know he was a lot. Yeah. Did your sisters go to college? One sister did. She went to the University of Tennessee, and one sister didn't. Would you go visit her when you were younger? Would you go off and see sis at school? Well, the university was five minutes from our home, so she was still living at home. How were your parents when you decided to go to New York for college?

Oh, my mom was so nervous. She was so worried I was going to become gay. That was her big thing. Wow. Yeah, she's like, you know, the first thing will happen. A woman will, what will you do if a woman tries to make out with you? And I was like, what? Okay, mom.

I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it. Yeah. I'll let you know. Depends if she's cute. Yeah. It is really fun. Of everything for a parent to worry about, because that's late 90s, early 2000s, right?

2000, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's so funny to be like, it's not crime, it's not this. It's just like, that's where all the les 2000, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's so funny to be like, it's not crime, it's not this, it's just like, that's where all the lesbians are. Yeah.

So, so afraid. Very hard to resist. Did she come visit you in New York? Yes. Yeah, she came and visited. They actually, they've been a lot now, but yeah, my parents,

it's funny, my mom initially was just like, you know, this is the city of sin. And, you know, it'll take our daughter. And it did. Like, she was right. Well done, New York. Oh, boy.

Can we get into those stories? Because those are some real bangers. How quickly did you, when you were in New York, were you like, oh, man, mom and dad were right? No, I was Mormon until I was 28. Okay. And so you made it. I made it. Yeah.

Yeah. I stayed for a long time. All right. Yeah. What happened when you were 28? Oh, isn't this like a kind of family show? You don't want to hear a— Oh.

Oh, is it a family show? I don't know. Pretty much every family member we've mentioned has been defecated on. Maybe you can cut some of my stuff out. No, I wouldn't tell. Have you taken – I know you go home to visit your family. Elna, have you gone on a trip with them outside of Arizona? Yes.

Okay, where do you guys go? We've done quite a few. Oh, great. Actually, you know, I have a, this isn't funny, but it's like a crazy family trip story. Perfect. Bring it. Okay. This, I would have been, I was 14.

And so we're staying at a hotel. Again, there's seven people. So my parents have their room. There's an adjoining room. And my older sister's in that room and she's having a slumber party with a friend. And then the room that I'm in, which is sealed off, it's like I'm there with my, with Britt and Julia Jill, so the littles. So I'm maybe 14, 10, 8, 5. So just me and little kids. And it's the middle of the night and i remember seeing like a

sliver of light and then it was gone and i just had this feeling that someone was standing at the foot of the bed and so i turn the light on and there is a woman standing at the foot of the bed looking down on us. And the first thing she says when she sees us is, you're just children. I didn't expect you to be children. And I was like, oh, you know, shit, right? Because, like, that's not the right response if you've gone into the wrong room. You would just normally be like, oh, sorry. And she is like talking to herself.

She's crying. And she won't leave. And I remember being like, everything like was very, I remember slow motion-y in this moment of being like, okay. Anything I do could totally escalate this. And I'm in charge of getting the little kids to safety. I have to figure out how to get us out of this situation. And so I was like, okay, do I reach for the phone and try to call for help? If I reach for the phone, I feel like she's going to attack me.

If I yell, she could attack me. If I try to get to the door... Do I do a quick drawing of her and put it in my own words? In my own words. Exactly. So I made this decision where I was like, I have to become friends with this woman. If I can become friends with this woman, and I have to make her think that we're just little kids.

Are you the only one awake of all the kids? All of the kids are awake. They're like wide-eyed, staring. One of the things she said, she was like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, girls. She kept saying, I'm sorry, girls. And my brother's main memory of this night was being like, I'm a boy.

Come on. He wasn't even scared. He was just pissed. He was like, I'm not a girl. You're like, not now. So I remember looking at them like, just don't, I got this. Don't do anything.

And so I went and sat, she sat on the edge of the bed. And so I went and sat next to her. And I'm trying to understand her, but she's not making any sense. Like she's, you know, her train of thought is, there's no plot. It's like bus station and this place and oh no, and why does he always and me and i can't and like crying crying and uh i uh i'm like i'm so sorry uh and you know that sounds really hard and then i remember she she reaches into her bag and she just grips something like in her hand and uh i was like i thought it was either a gun or a knife, and then she just pulls out a hairbrush

and just starts like slowly brushing her long hair on the edge of the bed for like minutes. She's just like brushing her hair and crying. Oh, no, was she doing a one-woman show? How long did this go on for? It's about 45 minutes. Holy shit. Yeah.

Yeah. And then eventually. It looked amazing at the end. Yeah. Glossy, glossy, flowy hair. So eventually I,

oh, and then she, she sat at the vanity. She went to brush her hair then at the vanity and she took her earrings off. She took her coat off. She took her shoes off. She took her socks off. And,

um, I eventually like got up and i walked over to the door and i opened the door and i said you know um we have to wake up early you know we have school even though we're on vacation i was like we have school in the morning we have to wake up early and uh she's like oh no i know i know i'm so sorry i'm so sorry you're just children you're just children and she put her shoes on she put her shoes on, she put her coat on, and she started to leave. And just as she's about to leave, I go,

oh, you forgot your earrings. And she goes back in, sits down, starts, I'm so stupid, I can't, the ear, and I'm like, and the door shuts, and I'm like, oh my God, what have I done? I was so close. So then I talked to her, I think, for like another 10 minutes, calmed her down, walked her to the door again.

And this time she stepped out. And the second she stepped out, I like slammed the door behind her and like did the lock. She starts screaming at the top of her. You hear her screaming, running down the hall screaming. Then I hear like a pounding, pounding on the door. And then I hear my dad's voice and it's my dad. And he's like, open the door, open the door.

I open the door and he's like, did you hear something? And he had seen a woman just as he came out. She saw him and turned the corner. And I'm like, this woman was, I tell him the whole story. He's furious. He goes downstairs to the, you know, to the lobby. He finds out like she was outside the building. She was crying.

She said this was her room. They just let her into the room. Oh, my God. And so then they're like, you know, they offered to give us the hotel for free. But my dad was like, I don't want it. Like, you need to make sure this never happens again. I want a formal investigation, right? So I didn't learn this until, because I

told this story for This American Life and then we went to my dad and he never told us what actually they found in the investigation until I asked as an adult. So in the investigation, they found that this woman had escaped like a psychiatric clinic or institution that night, which she had been put into for breaking into people's home and attacking them. So she had like a history of attacking people. But he didn't want to scare us. So he was like, I think the, I won't tell the kids like what they, you know, I want them to live in like a safe world. So they won't know.

But I do remember this was the one trip because my parents never let us get room service or watch movies. And so this was the one trip. After that, they were like, have as much room service as you want. Watch as many movies as you want. And we were like, mom and dad got cool. Mom and dad are so cool. We had milkshakes every night. Yeah, mom and dad did you a favor.

Yeah, coffee's all around. You're going to be up anyway. Wow. Yeah. Creepy. That was like a... Really good. Hard to top.

I think we may have to leave it there. For the best family trip story, or certainly the most haunting one. It's not a good family trip. It's like a... No, it is. I think for that woman, it was a special. We should have her on.

You should have her on. Get it from her perspective. She's a little stream of consciousness and doesn't quite make sense and she loops, but whatever. We'll have to do some editing.

Yeah. We have a series of questions we ask all of our guests, which we are going to ask you both now. Okay. Okay, you can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation relaxing, adventurous, or educational? Adventurous. Yeah, I would say relaxing. And I'm just going to jump

in because Johnny, we did mention, so you went on vacation with Kimmel, Tapper was there, real celeb-y vacation. Congratulations on getting the invite. You don't have to answer. This is a question that's not. Most fun person on that trip. Most fun person on that trip. Oh, man. And mind you, Tapper said all of their names. So it's not like there's... Yeah, Tapper name dropped so much on our podcast.

I think one of the guys we went out fishing with. Oh, you're not? Look at this. Man of the people, Johnny Knoxville, is not going to even say it was a celeb. He's going to be like, it was the fishing guy. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. My girlfriend and I had like a fishing battle going back and forth, and her guy really got into it.

And he was very funny about it, and she destroyed me. And there's a lot of smack talking so i that guy really made the trip all right one of the guides give it up for the guides um what is your favorite means of transportation train plane automobile boat bike walking rocket there we go first person to say rocket love it it's's true because actually you have ridden a rocket. So you're being. Yeah. I go airplane.

By a part-time rocket scientist. Just straight airplane, Elna? Yeah, yeah. Okay, great. This one's a little bit trickier. If you could take a family vacation with any family other than your own family, alive or dead, real or fictional, what family would you like to take a vacation with? Fred and Lamont Samford.

Oh, great. I like the family from Friday Night Lights. Oh, that's a good one. They are great. The Taylors. Oh, God. When Connie Britton talks to her daughter about what sex is,

I was like, what if my mom had done that? That would have been so nice. My fiance and I, and I feel like we're not the only ones, but we contend it's maybe the best couples show ever. You do not need to like football. That show is so good. I wish I could watch it again for the first time.

If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? I mean, everyone's going to get mad. But they're already mad. Remember, you've disappointed them so much. Then I'd choose the one who's not Mormon. I'd choose my brother, Britton. Yeah. I mean, you're going to have, if you want to have some

coffee on the island. Yeah. I'd choose my father. We wouldn't last more than two weeks, but it'd be a fun two weeks. Yeah,

there you go. We're functionally illiterate in so many areas, especially survival. So, yeah. It's gotta be the last ride

of the Knoxville boys. Johnny, you are appropriately from Knoxville and Elna from Tacoma, Washington. Would you recommend Knoxville and Tacoma as vacation destinations? Elna? I mean, there's the Chihuly Glass Museum in Tacoma.

That's sort of like a no. It's a yes for me because you got the Smy mountains you could go to close to knoxville you could go down to chattanooga to the towing and recovery museum and check that out um you got all kinds of things you can do all right the live and let launder live and let live laundromat is right down the street yeah there's all kinds of, you know, cultural, significant places to visit. I will say, weirdly, Elna, we had Joe Coy, who's also from Tacoma, on recently. And it is now two strikes for Tacoma. Really?

He didn't even mention the glass museum. You put a better fight up for Tacoma than you did. And then Seth has our final questions have either of you been to the Grand Canyon? yes I don't remember, I don't think so let me tell you, the best answer we've heard yet is someone not remembering

I've had 16 concussions, Seth did one happen because you tried to jump over the Grand Canyon that's true right I guess so yeah alright so then I'm gonna make this

the follow up is just for Elna Elna was it worth it it is I mean I think this is the best feedback I got on whether you should visit

the Grand Canyon because all my family is from Arizona I go to Arizona it's like you go on a big journey and you're there and it's like

wow and you no one can and it's like, wow. And no one can be there for more than 10 minutes. That's the thing. After 10 minutes, you're like, okay, what do I, all right. It's still here. It's still there. What does it do next? Does it do tricks?

It's just jumping. It's like too much. And weirdly, if you go to like Antelope Valley or you do the other ones, they're more interesting. Horseshoe Bend is more interesting. It's not as grand, but somehow it keeps your interest longer. Okay. I mean, I know, and by the way, I have a lot of sympathy for your concussions because I feel like you had them for our entertainment. But I do feel like

it would be if I asked have you ever seen a monkey ride a bicycle and you're like I don't know no we did in Russia yeah

oh wait you remember that thank you both so much congrats on the new podcast who give us one

one example episode for us of somebody. I love, well, I'll give you three in a row. Ann Daniels, who went to the North and South Pole after having triplets and needing to provide for her baby, she decides to just suddenly become a polar explorer. The first woman to row across the Atlantic, that is a harrowing story. She's helped by Muhammad Ali. Garrett McNamara, first person to try to surf a 100-foot wave.

And then Travis Pastrana. All the stories are like, what I like about it is you find out often, these people who've done these insane things, you find out the reason they did them. And the reason is always like, you know, something really either dark or twisted happened in their childhood

that made them have to do something big. Except for Travis. Except for Travis. Most everyone except for Travis, who had a normal, happy childhood. And he Travis. Except for Travis. Most everyone except for Travis who had a normal happy childhood and he's one of the craziest. But yeah, and I honestly think it's like

a really, like if, especially the more episodes you listen to, the more it becomes like a meditation on courage. Like you really learn a lot of the qualities

it takes to be brave. Well, check out Pretty Sure I Can Fly, the podcast hosted by these two wonderful people. Thank you so much. This was just a delight. Thanks, guys. Thanks so much. Johnny and his family

In an RV Used to vacation down in Daytona People hanging in the sun Having fun Drinking schlitz Cause it was B-4 Corona Johnny was naughty Went outside on the balcony

Then he whiffed it out Casually He just took a pee On some random Pete's Gross But that's Daytona Ella travels every year With Christmas cheer

To visit her folks In Arizona Dad said don't you disappear Make coffee here Well, it travels every year with Christmas cheer to visit our folks in Arizona. Dad said, don't you disappear. Make coffee here. Pour apple juice to cover up the aroma. Mom, she wasn't pleased. Next morning, there was sabotage. Coffee maker was put away deep in the garage.

Bad, but not as bad as One of your shoes is gonna In the fish market Barcelona We'll see you next time.